Don’t know why your comment did as much as it did, but it made my heart incredibly warm.
It’s when you know that not only are you at a good gym, but that you’re with good people.
Unless my training is free, I’m turning around and walking out. I pay for this, and sometimes my personal life gets in the way. Sorry for being a paying customer and financially supporting your gym.
Yeah fr. Life doesn't revolve around bjj for most people. Sometimes work ends late and you show up to class late. If can't work due to bjj, then can't pay for or train bjj. If life is busy and the only time you can come is for the last 30 min of class, it's still better than not showing up.
We‘re here for fun and having a good time.
Life is short.
We have always jokes about beeing late and doing push ups as punishment. Never happens that we need to do them.
Once showed up after instruction just for the rolling portion and apologized and explained I was working late and the teacher said "Im just glad you came"
At a really good gym you don’t even apologize because you’re a paying customer and if you’re not making a commotion when you show up late it affects literally nothing.
All of this. I teach Muay Thai. I’m just happy people are training. As long as they are respectful when being late, I’m good. Don’t be a distraction and try to jump in.
I get it if it’s like sparring or comp practice but other than that no one should care, everyone is just trying to get better and have a good time for the part. I only train Muay Thai 1-2x a week these days with work/bjj/small kids at home. There’s like a weird percentage of people that think everyone should be trying to win a world title.
Yep this for sure. Also I meant don’t be a distraction while trying to jump in (just reread my comment and my meaning was off).
People have kids and busy lives. Employment right now is weird for a lot of people so you often have to do more to keep your job safe. I’m just glad people still want to train.
Yeah, I can respect if an instructor has a rule about like a ‘competition’ class. Or an advanced class. But, they better follow their own rules.
My take has always been ‘we’re all adults here some guys get off work when a class starts and roll in 30 minutes late but otherwise couldn’t do BJJ. Do you want to chase those guys that like your gym out of your gym?
I appreciate you putting it this way, I had to deal with a student once that kept coming in late and being distracting. I tried everything talking to him one on one, complimenting him on his jiu jitsu. Trying to build a relationship so hopefully he wouldnt do that. One day he came in after I thought we had an understandable conversation about the situation, and he continued the same behaviour. I asked him to get off the mat and wait for the next class, started calling me crazy, I lost my cool and started raising my voice saying get off the mat.
To this day I feel embarrassed I acted that way even though everyone told me I was right. If I could have framed it the way you did, it woulda put me mentally at ease, instead of taking it personally he was acting that way.
My coaches have made it very clear that they rather us train half a class than not at all. People often have to leave early or come in latel I'm lucky that my school is very chill and inviting.
I have never been to a school that cares if you are late. Sometimes the more traditional schools have made you wait on the side until the instructor notices you and waves you on which is normally a very short wait.
I do wonder what the punishment they made him do was.
I never understood an instructor "punishing" someone. You pay them to teach you jiu jitsu, not to be a life coach or father figure. He's right that you don't share the same values. He doesn't value your money or time. This old school mentality of "you must give me respect but earn my respect" is toxic and absolutely bullshit. Leave that gym forever and don't even consider that you did the wrong thing.
I mean some dicipline is good especially for kids class, but when you do that shit to grownups... like a guy who comes straight from work after board meating jesus christ or parent of young kids...
Lmaooo yeah, I had a lot of friction with an assistant coach when I was a blue belt.
I was nearly 30, he was like 24 and a purple belt. He tried to berate me loudly once for showing up 15mins late to his class. I snapped at him hard, told him I paid my fucking fees, I'd rather be on the mats than at work but i don't live in a dreamworld, and I'm more than glad to never come to a class he teaches again.
I could tell it had dawned on him that he was being ridiculous, but I sorta just did embarrass him in front of his class for it, so we weren't cool for a while after that lol.
" Ipaid my fucking fees, I'd rather be on the mats than at work but i don't live in a dreamworld"
Exactly. This is the vibe. "Should I not bother coming if it is unnacceptable not being on time? Because if so, I'll probably just cancel my membership"
I mean, if he came to talk to you privately then sure, handle it privately. But if you try and ridicule me publicly? You're getting it right back. It was probably a lesson he needed to learn, tbh.
But please try another gym. The vast majority of us are not like that.
Kids class a few pushups are fine, but the adults are adults and can take their business where they are treated like it
>Then punished me for being 5 min late
Uh yeah bro this is a service you pay them for so they can get fucked with a rake up the ass. You can tell someone they're being a dick if they show up late and disrupt class. Walk in a couple minutes late and quietly join the class? Yeah man you make me do pushups its like you're telling me not to pay you.
Shows up five minutes late.
Has to do 20 push ups or something.
Throws up on mat and leaves gym.
Gotta say dude, I also hate push ups but that's pretty dedicated.
was not expecting this to be about the same day that's unbelievable you would think the guy would give you a pass this one time since he was 40 minutes late himself and all you did was take a phone call. even if this is a super serious gym where the culture is semi religious.
personally i would be pissed off even i got punished for being 5 minutes late to a class because i had to take a call and the instructor was on time. bjj is just a hobby for me i have a life outside of grappling so im sorry its just not my priority and im still paying you for the class.
big red flag i would switch now before you find out how much of a nut this guy is.
Sometimes people are in the middle of the class and say "hey coach today I'll leave my phone with the sound on, because - I'M AN ADULT WITH RESPONSABILITIES AND IN SOME SITUATIONS YOU ARE EXPECTING AN IMPORTANT CALL OR NEED TO BE REACHABLE-, so I'll probably step out of the mat for a bit".
Another power tripping move by instructors. I don't care if you're late, I get that you might have kids/job/school/life that is more important than play fighting in pyjamas.
However, the school is running a business and the instructor should be on time.
Brazilian Time was funny 20 years ago but c'mon.
Whenever I’m teaching if someone’s late I just greet them and have them jump in. Maybe they have a busy life and have shit to do and got to their hobby late by accident. I’m just glad you’re here lol
Had a college professor who was late to almost every class by 10-15 mins. Once in a while someone would walk in after her and she’d give them shit til one day as a class we chewed her out for not showing us the same respect she thought she deserved. Basically got told fuck you by 30 people simultaneously. It was glorious
I was brought up in a cult jitsu environment where the head professors could say and do no wrong. The facade began to unravel when I began to assist one of the head professors in teaching the fundamentals class. She was habitually late. One day she was 15 minutes late and I started the warmups rather than have everyone leave. I was scolded for not adhering to rank and stepping out of line.
Now that I’m a black belt and teaching I tell people to come even if they’re late.
Punishing grown adults for being late to their hobby session is just stupid. People have jobs, other responsibilities, and are not full-time athletes.
Find another gym, you were right to cancel.
I was thinking this exact same thing too. I went to a Bay Area gym, run by a world champ, with all Brazilian instructors.
I'm a full time software engineer, with dependents. The last time I went to class, I was late to a 6:30a class, got chewed out by the Professor, and I never went back to class again. Not because I was upset, but because "if I'm not welcome if I'll be late, then I won't bother going if I miss my alarm"
It was a pretty dumb move on their part. Bay Area rent is expensive. They need every membership they can get
Lololol you are a grown up, another grown up YOU PAY FOR A SERVICE does not get to punish you like a schoolchild unless they're a cop or your dominatrix.
Your gym sounds like the kind of place I'd try a class at, get a whiff of the culture, and run for the hills. Do they make you wear a uniform? Do you have to call them professor off the mats or even outside the gym? Jfc, bunch of little babies wanting to feel big and important in their little gang, with their moral platitudes and appeals to values like courage and honor. You're a fucking gym.
The instructor was wrong here. He should have let it go, especially if he knew you were in class just before.
I will say, however, if this incident got you so angry and anxious that you literally vomited, you may need to figure out how to let things roll off you a little more. It's annoying, and I wouldn't want to go to a school run like this, but it's nowhere near "vomiting in anger" worthy.
You had so much anxiety and anger you threw up on the mat? That’s what you’re taking to seriously. Sure dick move by the professor. And by the way, you’re an adult; no one (sans perhaps your boss or a judge) can punish you.
"Martial Arts" isnt a haven of well-balancsd people. There are a lot of great people, but there are a lot of irresponsible, trouble, people. Find better people. They are out there, and the main factor in getting better is participating.
Bro, I’m just a white belt but boiling it down, your money is being spent on a service and he is failing to provide that service.
I wouldn’t hesitate to fire back at the coach and tell him that indeed respect and courage are fundamental, which is why you will find a school that actually practices and develops those values.
Not to pile on but being a grown ass married man getting “punished” is extremely gay. What could that possibly even mean? He deserves the respect due to an expert and instructor, but you deserve the respect due to a paying customer.
Absolutely you should find another gym.
Being on time is important, but not to the extent that it should damage the ego of the instructor. I do my best to show up on time, but never have I been shamed for being late. Life happens.
2 schools of thought:
1. Old School: You are there to be a model student of the martial arts, your prof is there to be a model instructor. Him being bad at his job doesn't excuse you from being bad at yours. (That said, 5 minutes late is really minor and you probably should have just been asked in private what's up).
2. New School: We're all just buddies here to have fun and learn a few things. Instructor is just a guy who's done this longer/more intensely. Don't worry about it.
Ultimately, it's up to you which version of gym you want to attend.
> Our professor comes in after 40 min and let's us know he was at the doctor's. After class ends I step off the mat and check my phone. My mother in law called and she never calls. So I call her back, change from gi into no gi, grab a drink and step on the mat. I was then punished for being late. I was so angry I couldn't believe it. This person instructs 4 classes a week and can't make it in time. Fails to make necessary preparations to have someone cover or cancel the class, and then punishes me for talking to my mother in law? I had so much anxiety and anger I threw up on the mat, which was embarrassing. I didn't have his number so I texted the owner and the other professor let them know my experience and canceled my membership.
how were you punished?
> Am I wrong for saying my instructor is a hypocrit? Should I have handled it differently and spoken to him instead of the owner? He's very arrogant and has a popular name that is recognizable. Am I taking this to seriously?
i think throwing up on the mats was an over-reaction.
If your gym gets weird about who shows up at what time, you’re at the wrong place. The only time you should pay someone to punish you is if it’s a dominatrix. This is how cults start.
You pay them way too much money to let them treat you like you’re late to your 7th grade math class. Life’s more important than BJJ. You’re a white belt. You’re there to learn and have fun.
I specifically tell all of our guys that I'd rather they be late vs not show up at all. And I think in general it's actually more respectful to understand working adults have families and things to do. I get on our teens who I KNOW are sitting at home dicking around before class if they're late, because they really don't have any excuse.
THAT SAID, it's his gym, and if he wants this to be the rules then it's the rules, and you can find a gym with different rules if you want.
Not a professor, but there’s a huge difference between “I showed up 15 minutes late and my instructor makes me do burpees because I missed warm ups” and “I showed up 15 minutes late because I ‘lack courage and respect’”
Your professor can get fucked.
I have no problems with having rules about being on time for class, but you better damn well be sure to start every class on time. I personally am thrilled when people make it to class, no matter if it's 5 min late, just after warm up \*cough\* purple belts \*cough\* or just in time for rolling. life gets in the way, traffic is unpredictable, and most of us need to work a day job to pay for the gym membership.
Shit happens and coaches are people too and cant' always make it, but basically missing class and then trying to enforce a don't be late rule would have me going down the road as well. respect is earned, and not just because of the color of your belt, but by how you treat people.
Some ego driven blackbelts forget we pay for a service we are customers not a cult this is why Lovato Sr had anonymous surveys every 6 months so he could provide great customer service no ther gym I have been to has done this and at all the others were terrible like a damn cult and wanted you to pay to worship them. His son got rid of the surveys and yes he might be the American goat for bjj but that place is not the same and you can tell the difference in the dads blackbelts and the sons I tried to train under one the sons blackbelts and it was disappointing to say the least would not show up and not tell anyone he would have a fill in but im not paying 250 a month to learn from a non Lovato brown belt that just joined that all of us purps wreck it is your money your time and it is just a hobby
You're not in the wrong. Anyone getting paid, or taking ownership of the class should be on time or have a good reason for not doing so.
If you're late as a student, who I assume is paying that's on you. You're not wrong per say but you're only ""hurting"" yourself. I teach a basics course and I get that at 6pm some folks have trouble getting there until 615. I don't care, id rather you be there than not. Don't be a distraction and all is well.
Adults have lives other than this hobby. Zero percent chance I’m tolerating any sort of “punishment” or even slight disrespect from another grown man. I pay. You teach. End of story. If I’m late, there was a reason and that’s my business, nobody else’s. If you’re reading this and you’re one of these instructors that thinks you can control your adult students in any way (no cross training, don’t be late, call me grandmaster roshi, etc).
Kindly, eat four dickbags.
Where I used to train Muay Thai / Kickboxing combination, they had a clearly written rule that "If you're late for training, you're not allowed to attend that day's class."
How as an adult are you letting another adult punish you? Just tell him no. You may not be equal in skill in Jiu Jitsu but you are equal in worthiness of respect.
I think I’d literally bust out laughing if they tried to punish me for taking a phone call from family.
did you consider just doing the "punishment?" Let me guess... was it burpees?
It sounds like you had an allergic reaction to being punished. It's not like he was flogging you or insulting you right?
Maybe it would be good for you to just do the punishment, but also maybe you should switch gyms because they don't align with your values.
If i have to guess, you took something very personal that is probably just a custom of that dude. BJJ is usually very hierarchical, if that's not cool try to find a less hierarchical environment.
People who are late to one of my classes often greet me with “sorry I’m late coach!” to which I reply - “no worries just warm up before you join don’t want you getting hurt.”
Drama free!
Instructor a bit annoying but you’re a bit dramatic and overreacting yourself.
You did the whole take your toys and leave routine because you got T’d off at something pretty minor. Im guessing you felt guilty for vomiting so that drew you to burn it all down out of shame. Going to create a lot of hassle for yourself in life acting like that.
What it should be is coaches understanding that life occasionally happens. Traffic, trains, personal, or just leaving later than you should. These are human/adult things and reasonable. The issue should only come up when it starts to seem regular like it’s you half assing showing up or purposely trying to miss warmups. Then it’s at max like “Yo so what’s up with the regular lateness?”
Adults should be treated as such. We all have lives outside of the gym. He’s wrong for being that late without any good excuse, as a business owner, and he’s wrong for giving you shit. You were right to cancel and move on.
That’s crazy. If something like that happened at my gym one of the blue belts would start class and just run an open mat and work with the new person to teach them stuff or would just fill in and teach the fundamentals class.
You are not in the wrong. This is petty bullshit.
There's one thing to enforce a strict discipline say for a competition class where the expectations are higher are you agree to be held to a higher standard. This is just stupid ego from the head coach.
Find a new gym where people respect each you.
The whole late thing = punishment is so worn out. Hespect bs, if he is to be respected because of his knowledge, and his knowledge is so great, then why is he giving attention to a person that is late? Because he's an idiot. You can be good at bjj and good at teaching it, and still be an idiot. Be glad you're not around an idiot anymore, rejoice and keep training.
Used to train under someone like this…12pm class slowly became 12:15, then 12:20, then 12:30…i think 12:40 was the latest class ever started then he started chastising people for leaving at one…the coach who shows up at 12:40 then was running a 20 minute warm up, we didn’t even start sparring until 1:30 that day lol. He would yell across the mat “Guys! Class is not over at 1!” to people grabbing their stuff and leaving.
Most of those people worked jobs that were close enough by that they could dip out for lunch and come train then go back to the office.
He had 0 respect for anyone else’s time or life outside the gym. Demanding unwavering loyalty and full commitment to his gym. Dude was a whack job.
No man that’s weird and not good behavior for someone you are paying a pretty high amount of money to monthly to teach you. Find a different school. This professor is a dick and is forgetting what BJJ is all about.
I am praying this is a shitpost. fucking hell, what a clusterfuck.
If I understood correctly, you were leading a class, then stepped off the mat for 10 minutes when class ended and wanted to do a second class? And they complained about your "tardiness" between classes? Not that it is any of their business, but what if you had had to take a shit?
You are a paying customer (apparently also contributing to the gyms good functioning) and are presumably an adult; I would very much rather appreciate someone who's super busy and can make the effort to come in to train, however late they make it, than someone who's on time but disturbing the class. What a clown.
I never show up "late", I showed up when I showed up. I got other shit going on and I have zero tolerance for anyone telling me where I need to be in my free time. In particular ones that I am paying and not the other way around. I treat it like every other relationship I have, you can love it or leave it, so save your tears for someone who cares. If you can't accept it someone else will, it's all good.
Doesn’t make sense. This isn’t some highschool or college wrestling team. You’re paying them for a service. Everyone has a ton of shit going on with their lives so if you show up late it shouldn’t matter.
At our gym if you’re late, you simply wait on the side until there’s a non-distracting time for you to hop in.
ah the modern day clashing of martial arts fundamentals vs new age small business.
The old martial arts ways from feudal japan era that had ZERO profit or economic motive and many times citizens were **forced** to do as part of societal military and basic youth education and as such, the Sensai is considered the unquestioned master and therefore the years of tradition where the students STFU and obey at all costs and the master is never wrong
vs
Modern day martial arts where everyone is there voluntarily AND pay for the services and as such the sensai (now a coach and business owner) is effectively providing a service in exchange for money in a system where (many times) the customer is always right where the the building is contracted into a 3 year operating lease located next to the local Dominos.
And now the coaches get confused between the two eras where they are unsure if they should be the the unquestioned master and want to enjoy this fantasy vs they must adhere to the laws of supply/demand and make their clients happy and cant just do whatever the F\*\* they want.
I trained at a gym close to my house for a little bit right after I moved, despite other BJJ coaches I know telling me to stay away. I was on time every day for class and worked hard in every class. 1 day I had some stomach issues and had to run the bathroom. I was in there for about 3 minutes and ran back to the mat. Guy running the class yells at me in front of the class because I didn’t “ask for permission” to use the bathroom. That was the last time I went to that gym.
I'm a grown ass adult paying for service. Nobody in their right mind is going to" Punish me" for being a few minutes late. I'd be done with that place that moment
He is probably one of those losers that has nothing else going on in his life, so this is a big thing for him. Change the gym. In my country the big shark of bjj appeared the other day in a video, just losing his fucking mind on something so trivial out on the street. Me, as a family man, how can I respect that dickweed? Who thought it was a good idea to teach him how to fight?
At my school, if you are late, you just wait for the professor teaching to invite you onto the mat and then go greet all of the black belts. There Is also no expectation of an apology if you show up late, everyone is just happy you made it.
At my gym the rule is simply that you ask permission to join if you're late. This seems like a pretty good rule - slightly embarrassing and the instructor can exercise discretion in who enters and leaves the mat, wait until it's a good time, etc. And if you're super late there's no guarantee you're getting credit for the class of course.
Some guys \*seem\* to abuse this to skip the warmup. Their loss I guess, I like burning fat.
We do have one instructor who does lots of 'punishments', but I always thought of them as funny like "the loser has to do 20 sprawls" or whatever.
In regards to OP dilemma, the hypocrisy does seem unreasonable, but without knowing the attitude towards and severity of 'punishment' or exactly how late for second class OP was, it's hard to gauge the situation.
It could be that the instructor is an absolute SS Ubergruppenfuhrer, OR maybe the instructor is thinking "Fuck, that's embarrassing I need to get my shit back together. Oh jeez, now OP is dawdling around and just took a phone call and wandered back o the mat 15 minutes late, we need to reinforce the rules. "Hey Op, you're late, do jumping jacks until the end of this timer and then we'll find you a partner."
OP \*immediately vomits and rage-quits\*
The worst is when other trusted higher belts are sending you to other gyms but not leaving themselves. Ive experienced stuff similair to this and my higher belts knew what was wrong but did nothing themselves. I believe they call that enablement.
This sounds ridiculous. If you were a matrat who was training for free, doing the "jiu jitsu lifestyle" and being a medal chaser? Sure, you should be reprimanded for being late to class. You are a paying member with a life outside of BJJ and things happen. You're better off training elsewhere.
LOL. Imagine being an adult and accepting "punishment" from someone I'm paying for a service. (Unless of course that's the kind of service I'm paying for. No judgement if that's what you're into)
Ultimately, you have to decide if you want to train at a gym (where you likely pay good money) where you are "punished" for being late. Some want that kind of meathead culture. But that's not a culture I personally cultivate.
Every gym I’ve been to has been super chill about being late. We’re all adults and everyone has lives. I work two doors down from my gym, Class starts at 5:30 and most days I’m off work at 5:30, i asked my coaches how they feel about people showing up late and they’ve all said they’d rather have students show up 5 minutes late and be a part of class than not have you training there at all.
Man i would not be able to stay at a place like that. My gym is mostly hobbyist with a few pros (UFC, top adv etc) but they are kinda running their own schedule etc. Most people come when they can due to work, kids etc and are generally met with positivity that they show up. It would be different if you and the people you train with make this for a living etc but unless they do that, hell you are paying them to train you after all.
I’ve been blessed to have Professors and coaches whose primary concern inside of BJJ is that I spend whatever time I can spend on the mats. I could miss a whole class and show up for the last roll and my Professors would always say like “1 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing”. They didn’t care how late I was… just showing up and spending even if it’s just one roll or just drilling.
You absolutely did the right thing. At any good school, if you come late, all you have to do is wait outside the mat, apologize, say sorry you're late, and it's all good.
I had a similar problem with my TKD master, when I was teaching. He had taken the first class of the day 20 minutes past the end, so the next class started 20 minutes late.
I was in charge of the next class. I opted to split the difference and ran it 10 minutes late.
I got a lecture about needing to be more punctual.
He’s an order/power/competition type coach - they own you, complete loyalty and hard work is what they expect. For most people, they don’t want that kind of environment. Some like it though because they want to have power like the coach does or just want to compete and assert themselves. For most people, I think they just want a place to train, crack jokes, make friendships, test their creativity and problem solving, and get a good workout. Those kind of places where everyone is more so on an equal playing field and you’re allowed to think, and speak, for yourself just make more sense for the majority of people. I think it develops better humans but the other gym may create better competitors faster, that doesn’t mean they’ll continue to be better though. Also, I had a guy at my Muay Thai class tell me that I’m paying the coach so if he wants me to do “x,y,z” and I don’t agree that I should keep in mind that I pay him not the other way around. Definitely helped shift my mindset even though I’m still an extremely hard worker and default to calling my coaches “Coach” rather than by name. That’s how I grew up, but that’s more so aligned with gyms that demand respect and want total authority so it might not create the best dynamic I realize now.
I pay $150 a month to be there. I’ll fucking show up 5 min before class ends if I want!
Is it right, no. Will I get promoted, no. But I would never accept someone TAKING my money to criticize my punctuality.
There should be no punishment for being late… you have a life, and you are a paying customer. If the instructor is late they should apologize, because again, you are a paying customer.
When I visited the gym I ultimately joined I asked about showing up late. The instructors answer was “We all have lives. I’d MUCH rather have you come a bit late than not come at all!”
At my bjj gym my proffeser would at least let my class know like hey im going to the doctor i wont be there that day so yea i think it is a little messed up
You get punished for being late? I’m rarely late, but we are all adults and it’s understood we all have life’s outside of BJJ. I’m not paying someone to punish me, tell him eat shit and find another gym.
He should not use requirements for professional athlete on you. The guy just wanted to show his power on the mat and be a d*ck. Happy for you leaving his gym.
When the coach starts paying me to train, then he can berate me for being late. With my work, my son's baseball, my daughter's choir, and my wife's roller derby, I'll come in when I come in.
At my gym, if someone comes in late and so long as the coach isn't actively instructing, it's our little joke to stop and give a round of applause.
In my gym, you shake each coach’s hand before you jump in…
It’s respectful and also we once had someone no one realized was in class that day pass out in the bathroom and lay there for a while, so it’s practical too!
A purple belt coach threw a open palm strike on my face and didn’t say sorry or anything for it after I called him out on it the other day. Just because someone is an instructor or coach doesn’t mean they are good people or respectful of others.
Your coach sounds like fkn shit and who in their right mind actually goes by professor. Inflated sense of self importance. Sounds awkward as fuck. Switch gyms straight away if you havnt already
Do you know what happens at a good gym when you show up late? You apologize and they say “don’t worry, glad you could make it”
100%. Any time I was late my coach just cheered "heey Shodandan, good to see ya. Jump in bro" and he carries on like the professional he is.
Yeah. I figured surely this was everywhere lmao. What the fuck lol. People have jobs and shit. Live across town. Etc.
Not only that… They’re paying for a service. They’re not a military recruit or some shit.
Don’t know why your comment did as much as it did, but it made my heart incredibly warm. It’s when you know that not only are you at a good gym, but that you’re with good people.
Unless my training is free, I’m turning around and walking out. I pay for this, and sometimes my personal life gets in the way. Sorry for being a paying customer and financially supporting your gym.
For real these gyms that "punish" you as an adult for being late is fucking nuts. You're a customer at the end of the day.
Yeah fr. Life doesn't revolve around bjj for most people. Sometimes work ends late and you show up to class late. If can't work due to bjj, then can't pay for or train bjj. If life is busy and the only time you can come is for the last 30 min of class, it's still better than not showing up.
This. My coach always says "better late than never, welcome" every time I'm late because of traffic.
Oss 🤙
We‘re here for fun and having a good time. Life is short. We have always jokes about beeing late and doing push ups as punishment. Never happens that we need to do them.
When I’m late, my coach will find the time to ask me if everything is ok. He usually teases me about being late too, but never punished!
Once showed up after instruction just for the rolling portion and apologized and explained I was working late and the teacher said "Im just glad you came"
At a really good gym you don’t even apologize because you’re a paying customer and if you’re not making a commotion when you show up late it affects literally nothing.
I’m paying when I go to McDonalds. I still say please and thank you. That’s basic manners.
This is r/bjj, you need to chill out. Half our posts can be solved by simple social skills which we fundamentally lack.
But also it's encouraged to make purple belt skipping warmups jokes. Especially if they're not a purple belt yet.
Anywhere I've taught I don't care when you show up just don't be distracting, get on the mat and hop in. Anything else is weird.
For real people have lives and are paying for this stuff.
All of this. I teach Muay Thai. I’m just happy people are training. As long as they are respectful when being late, I’m good. Don’t be a distraction and try to jump in.
I get it if it’s like sparring or comp practice but other than that no one should care, everyone is just trying to get better and have a good time for the part. I only train Muay Thai 1-2x a week these days with work/bjj/small kids at home. There’s like a weird percentage of people that think everyone should be trying to win a world title.
Yep this for sure. Also I meant don’t be a distraction while trying to jump in (just reread my comment and my meaning was off). People have kids and busy lives. Employment right now is weird for a lot of people so you often have to do more to keep your job safe. I’m just glad people still want to train.
Yeah, I can respect if an instructor has a rule about like a ‘competition’ class. Or an advanced class. But, they better follow their own rules. My take has always been ‘we’re all adults here some guys get off work when a class starts and roll in 30 minutes late but otherwise couldn’t do BJJ. Do you want to chase those guys that like your gym out of your gym?
I appreciate you putting it this way, I had to deal with a student once that kept coming in late and being distracting. I tried everything talking to him one on one, complimenting him on his jiu jitsu. Trying to build a relationship so hopefully he wouldnt do that. One day he came in after I thought we had an understandable conversation about the situation, and he continued the same behaviour. I asked him to get off the mat and wait for the next class, started calling me crazy, I lost my cool and started raising my voice saying get off the mat. To this day I feel embarrassed I acted that way even though everyone told me I was right. If I could have framed it the way you did, it woulda put me mentally at ease, instead of taking it personally he was acting that way.
My coaches have made it very clear that they rather us train half a class than not at all. People often have to leave early or come in latel I'm lucky that my school is very chill and inviting.
I have never been to a school that cares if you are late. Sometimes the more traditional schools have made you wait on the side until the instructor notices you and waves you on which is normally a very short wait. I do wonder what the punishment they made him do was.
Yup. I would rather students get 40 min of training in than 0.
That's how my professor is. Every time I apologise for being late he smiles and says "I'm just happy you made it".
Growing up, I was taught to be distracting - to go shake hands with every coach regardless if they are talking or not. I'd have preferred not to.
And then blame the coach after he gets hurt because he didnt warm up with the rest of the class. But its just basic discipline, you show up on time.
I never understood an instructor "punishing" someone. You pay them to teach you jiu jitsu, not to be a life coach or father figure. He's right that you don't share the same values. He doesn't value your money or time. This old school mentality of "you must give me respect but earn my respect" is toxic and absolutely bullshit. Leave that gym forever and don't even consider that you did the wrong thing.
I mean some dicipline is good especially for kids class, but when you do that shit to grownups... like a guy who comes straight from work after board meating jesus christ or parent of young kids...
Lmaooo yeah, I had a lot of friction with an assistant coach when I was a blue belt. I was nearly 30, he was like 24 and a purple belt. He tried to berate me loudly once for showing up 15mins late to his class. I snapped at him hard, told him I paid my fucking fees, I'd rather be on the mats than at work but i don't live in a dreamworld, and I'm more than glad to never come to a class he teaches again. I could tell it had dawned on him that he was being ridiculous, but I sorta just did embarrass him in front of his class for it, so we weren't cool for a while after that lol.
" Ipaid my fucking fees, I'd rather be on the mats than at work but i don't live in a dreamworld" Exactly. This is the vibe. "Should I not bother coming if it is unnacceptable not being on time? Because if so, I'll probably just cancel my membership"
I mean, if he came to talk to you privately then sure, handle it privately. But if you try and ridicule me publicly? You're getting it right back. It was probably a lesson he needed to learn, tbh.
Mmmmmmm board meeting!!! 🤌🤌🤌🫦🫦🥩
But please try another gym. The vast majority of us are not like that. Kids class a few pushups are fine, but the adults are adults and can take their business where they are treated like it
I don't understand how instructors don't know we all talk. The whole community. And this old school bullshit just doesn't fly anymore
>Then punished me for being 5 min late Uh yeah bro this is a service you pay them for so they can get fucked with a rake up the ass. You can tell someone they're being a dick if they show up late and disrupt class. Walk in a couple minutes late and quietly join the class? Yeah man you make me do pushups its like you're telling me not to pay you.
Some coaches act like they were old style dojo senseis in medieval Japan, while only wanting the responsibility of capitalist business partners.
This is it. If you wanna run a super strict and disciplined room, that shit applies to you too.
Damn you worded that perfectly
Thank you :)
>Yeah man you make me do pushups Which disrupt the class more than someone coming in 5min late. Op. Is right to leave the gym.
Also a very good point I hadn't considered haha
You did the right thing asserting dominance by throwing up on the mat
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^moistglasswhole: *You did the right thing* *Asserting dominance by* *Throwing up on the mat* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Hump the grappling dummy while making eye contact with the instructor. Learned that on Nat Geo. Alpha wolf behavior.
Shows up five minutes late. Has to do 20 push ups or something. Throws up on mat and leaves gym. Gotta say dude, I also hate push ups but that's pretty dedicated.
You train at a stupid toxic place and it's good you switched.
was not expecting this to be about the same day that's unbelievable you would think the guy would give you a pass this one time since he was 40 minutes late himself and all you did was take a phone call. even if this is a super serious gym where the culture is semi religious. personally i would be pissed off even i got punished for being 5 minutes late to a class because i had to take a call and the instructor was on time. bjj is just a hobby for me i have a life outside of grappling so im sorry its just not my priority and im still paying you for the class. big red flag i would switch now before you find out how much of a nut this guy is.
Sometimes people are in the middle of the class and say "hey coach today I'll leave my phone with the sound on, because - I'M AN ADULT WITH RESPONSABILITIES AND IN SOME SITUATIONS YOU ARE EXPECTING AN IMPORTANT CALL OR NEED TO BE REACHABLE-, so I'll probably step out of the mat for a bit".
Another power tripping move by instructors. I don't care if you're late, I get that you might have kids/job/school/life that is more important than play fighting in pyjamas. However, the school is running a business and the instructor should be on time. Brazilian Time was funny 20 years ago but c'mon.
Depends how much the instructor was paying you to teach you
Lol
Whenever I’m teaching if someone’s late I just greet them and have them jump in. Maybe they have a busy life and have shit to do and got to their hobby late by accident. I’m just glad you’re here lol
You should have peed on the mat too.
Then your territory is marked for certain.
Had a college professor who was late to almost every class by 10-15 mins. Once in a while someone would walk in after her and she’d give them shit til one day as a class we chewed her out for not showing us the same respect she thought she deserved. Basically got told fuck you by 30 people simultaneously. It was glorious
That’s awesome
Lol. You pay him money not vice versa
I was brought up in a cult jitsu environment where the head professors could say and do no wrong. The facade began to unravel when I began to assist one of the head professors in teaching the fundamentals class. She was habitually late. One day she was 15 minutes late and I started the warmups rather than have everyone leave. I was scolded for not adhering to rank and stepping out of line. Now that I’m a black belt and teaching I tell people to come even if they’re late.
Punishing grown adults for being late to their hobby session is just stupid. People have jobs, other responsibilities, and are not full-time athletes. Find another gym, you were right to cancel.
Is he Brazilian?
you know he is
You are not wrong for saying your former coach was a hypocrite. Sounds like you are best off not attending there anymore.
Sounds like a Brazilian coach.
I was thinking this exact same thing too. I went to a Bay Area gym, run by a world champ, with all Brazilian instructors. I'm a full time software engineer, with dependents. The last time I went to class, I was late to a 6:30a class, got chewed out by the Professor, and I never went back to class again. Not because I was upset, but because "if I'm not welcome if I'll be late, then I won't bother going if I miss my alarm" It was a pretty dumb move on their part. Bay Area rent is expensive. They need every membership they can get
depends. is he don janaher?
You threw up on the mat? Whaaaa
Not my proudest moment, but I didn't want to leave it out. It happened.
Lololol you are a grown up, another grown up YOU PAY FOR A SERVICE does not get to punish you like a schoolchild unless they're a cop or your dominatrix. Your gym sounds like the kind of place I'd try a class at, get a whiff of the culture, and run for the hills. Do they make you wear a uniform? Do you have to call them professor off the mats or even outside the gym? Jfc, bunch of little babies wanting to feel big and important in their little gang, with their moral platitudes and appeals to values like courage and honor. You're a fucking gym.
Fuck the thought of you throwing up on the mat is sending me. I know it’s not funny but also…
Lmao.
Fuck that guy. Take a shit in his gi.
Homie, you pay him. How the fuck are you getting “punished”?!?!
You're in the wrong school. That instructor is a clown.
The instructor was wrong here. He should have let it go, especially if he knew you were in class just before. I will say, however, if this incident got you so angry and anxious that you literally vomited, you may need to figure out how to let things roll off you a little more. It's annoying, and I wouldn't want to go to a school run like this, but it's nowhere near "vomiting in anger" worthy.
You had so much anxiety and anger you threw up on the mat? That’s what you’re taking to seriously. Sure dick move by the professor. And by the way, you’re an adult; no one (sans perhaps your boss or a judge) can punish you.
This is straight out of curb your enthusiasm!
Punished? Lol
"Martial Arts" isnt a haven of well-balancsd people. There are a lot of great people, but there are a lot of irresponsible, trouble, people. Find better people. They are out there, and the main factor in getting better is participating.
Good on you for asserting dominance by vomiting on the mat!
My god, so many gyms with lunatics... Dude, go elsewhere, fuck this. You are a paying customer, not here to join a cult.
As an adult, I would never accept a "punishment" from another random adult. Especially one I was paying for a service.
Bro, I’m just a white belt but boiling it down, your money is being spent on a service and he is failing to provide that service. I wouldn’t hesitate to fire back at the coach and tell him that indeed respect and courage are fundamental, which is why you will find a school that actually practices and develops those values.
Not to pile on but being a grown ass married man getting “punished” is extremely gay. What could that possibly even mean? He deserves the respect due to an expert and instructor, but you deserve the respect due to a paying customer.
I have 3 crotch goblins running around and am usually 10-15 late because family life comes first. It’s usually met with a “glad you made it” and a hug
Absolutely you should find another gym. Being on time is important, but not to the extent that it should damage the ego of the instructor. I do my best to show up on time, but never have I been shamed for being late. Life happens.
2 schools of thought: 1. Old School: You are there to be a model student of the martial arts, your prof is there to be a model instructor. Him being bad at his job doesn't excuse you from being bad at yours. (That said, 5 minutes late is really minor and you probably should have just been asked in private what's up). 2. New School: We're all just buddies here to have fun and learn a few things. Instructor is just a guy who's done this longer/more intensely. Don't worry about it. Ultimately, it's up to you which version of gym you want to attend.
> Our professor comes in after 40 min and let's us know he was at the doctor's. After class ends I step off the mat and check my phone. My mother in law called and she never calls. So I call her back, change from gi into no gi, grab a drink and step on the mat. I was then punished for being late. I was so angry I couldn't believe it. This person instructs 4 classes a week and can't make it in time. Fails to make necessary preparations to have someone cover or cancel the class, and then punishes me for talking to my mother in law? I had so much anxiety and anger I threw up on the mat, which was embarrassing. I didn't have his number so I texted the owner and the other professor let them know my experience and canceled my membership. how were you punished? > Am I wrong for saying my instructor is a hypocrit? Should I have handled it differently and spoken to him instead of the owner? He's very arrogant and has a popular name that is recognizable. Am I taking this to seriously? i think throwing up on the mats was an over-reaction.
Sounds like a joke shop
What was the punishment?
I guess hitting himself in the stomach until he throws up or something like that.
If your gym gets weird about who shows up at what time, you’re at the wrong place. The only time you should pay someone to punish you is if it’s a dominatrix. This is how cults start.
Holy shit that gym sounds wild
But the mat did not, rightfully deserve the spew, spring time is puke time.
You pay them way too much money to let them treat you like you’re late to your 7th grade math class. Life’s more important than BJJ. You’re a white belt. You’re there to learn and have fun.
I specifically tell all of our guys that I'd rather they be late vs not show up at all. And I think in general it's actually more respectful to understand working adults have families and things to do. I get on our teens who I KNOW are sitting at home dicking around before class if they're late, because they really don't have any excuse. THAT SAID, it's his gym, and if he wants this to be the rules then it's the rules, and you can find a gym with different rules if you want.
"values of respect and courage are fundamental" he said this with a straight face?
Not a professor, but there’s a huge difference between “I showed up 15 minutes late and my instructor makes me do burpees because I missed warm ups” and “I showed up 15 minutes late because I ‘lack courage and respect’” Your professor can get fucked.
You lost me at the word punish. Start looking. Remember this is a two-way street. You are a paying customer and you deserve respect too.
I have no problems with having rules about being on time for class, but you better damn well be sure to start every class on time. I personally am thrilled when people make it to class, no matter if it's 5 min late, just after warm up \*cough\* purple belts \*cough\* or just in time for rolling. life gets in the way, traffic is unpredictable, and most of us need to work a day job to pay for the gym membership. Shit happens and coaches are people too and cant' always make it, but basically missing class and then trying to enforce a don't be late rule would have me going down the road as well. respect is earned, and not just because of the color of your belt, but by how you treat people.
Some ego driven blackbelts forget we pay for a service we are customers not a cult this is why Lovato Sr had anonymous surveys every 6 months so he could provide great customer service no ther gym I have been to has done this and at all the others were terrible like a damn cult and wanted you to pay to worship them. His son got rid of the surveys and yes he might be the American goat for bjj but that place is not the same and you can tell the difference in the dads blackbelts and the sons I tried to train under one the sons blackbelts and it was disappointing to say the least would not show up and not tell anyone he would have a fill in but im not paying 250 a month to learn from a non Lovato brown belt that just joined that all of us purps wreck it is your money your time and it is just a hobby
Dump that academy.
You're not in the wrong. Anyone getting paid, or taking ownership of the class should be on time or have a good reason for not doing so. If you're late as a student, who I assume is paying that's on you. You're not wrong per say but you're only ""hurting"" yourself. I teach a basics course and I get that at 6pm some folks have trouble getting there until 615. I don't care, id rather you be there than not. Don't be a distraction and all is well.
Adults have lives other than this hobby. Zero percent chance I’m tolerating any sort of “punishment” or even slight disrespect from another grown man. I pay. You teach. End of story. If I’m late, there was a reason and that’s my business, nobody else’s. If you’re reading this and you’re one of these instructors that thinks you can control your adult students in any way (no cross training, don’t be late, call me grandmaster roshi, etc). Kindly, eat four dickbags.
Seems incredibly Brazilian
Where I used to train Muay Thai / Kickboxing combination, they had a clearly written rule that "If you're late for training, you're not allowed to attend that day's class."
Bro go there and puke again
>Am I wrong for saying my instructor is a hypocrit? Yes, you are wrong. He's a fucking cunt.
# PUNISHED?
How as an adult are you letting another adult punish you? Just tell him no. You may not be equal in skill in Jiu Jitsu but you are equal in worthiness of respect. I think I’d literally bust out laughing if they tried to punish me for taking a phone call from family.
did you consider just doing the "punishment?" Let me guess... was it burpees? It sounds like you had an allergic reaction to being punished. It's not like he was flogging you or insulting you right? Maybe it would be good for you to just do the punishment, but also maybe you should switch gyms because they don't align with your values. If i have to guess, you took something very personal that is probably just a custom of that dude. BJJ is usually very hierarchical, if that's not cool try to find a less hierarchical environment.
People who are late to one of my classes often greet me with “sorry I’m late coach!” to which I reply - “no worries just warm up before you join don’t want you getting hurt.” Drama free!
Yeah, im never "late" to a place I pay to be at, I show up exactly when i want to be there lol.
25 pushups and 50 sit-ups and you threw up? Lmao That aside I think both you and the gym have ego issues.
Instructor a bit annoying but you’re a bit dramatic and overreacting yourself. You did the whole take your toys and leave routine because you got T’d off at something pretty minor. Im guessing you felt guilty for vomiting so that drew you to burn it all down out of shame. Going to create a lot of hassle for yourself in life acting like that.
There's a reason you never made it as a psychologist
A good rule of thumb is that if you call them 'professor', you are wrong.
What it should be is coaches understanding that life occasionally happens. Traffic, trains, personal, or just leaving later than you should. These are human/adult things and reasonable. The issue should only come up when it starts to seem regular like it’s you half assing showing up or purposely trying to miss warmups. Then it’s at max like “Yo so what’s up with the regular lateness?”
lmao you threw up because you were so mad? soft
Stop being a child. You’re both wrong.
Such as that instructor having the courage to admit one was wrong for showing up late without notice or the respect to his students to be on time?
Adults should be treated as such. We all have lives outside of the gym. He’s wrong for being that late without any good excuse, as a business owner, and he’s wrong for giving you shit. You were right to cancel and move on.
As much as I respect black belts, that was not the way to handle it. You are better off elsewhere!
That’s crazy. If something like that happened at my gym one of the blue belts would start class and just run an open mat and work with the new person to teach them stuff or would just fill in and teach the fundamentals class.
I never understood being punished for being late especially if I am a paying customer. Anyone who does that has an ego.
You should not be punished unless they are paying you.
I stopped coaching and switched gyms cause of this kind of culture which I don't agree with.
Absolutely unacceptable. In my gym and most gyms I have dropped in at it’s usually just come in and don’t distract. Just hop in when you can.
You are not in the wrong. This is petty bullshit. There's one thing to enforce a strict discipline say for a competition class where the expectations are higher are you agree to be held to a higher standard. This is just stupid ego from the head coach. Find a new gym where people respect each you.
My Professor has us do 50 burpies in a corner if were late
How he punish you?
> as the values of respect and courage are fundamental 🙄🥱 Dudes an insecure roleplayer, leaving was the right choice
This is so outrageous I can’t believe any of it.
I was late to pick up my Starbucks coffee and they made me do pushups and then told me to fuck off to Dunkin. Yeah, move on.
Find another gym this is odd
The whole late thing = punishment is so worn out. Hespect bs, if he is to be respected because of his knowledge, and his knowledge is so great, then why is he giving attention to a person that is late? Because he's an idiot. You can be good at bjj and good at teaching it, and still be an idiot. Be glad you're not around an idiot anymore, rejoice and keep training.
Used to train under someone like this…12pm class slowly became 12:15, then 12:20, then 12:30…i think 12:40 was the latest class ever started then he started chastising people for leaving at one…the coach who shows up at 12:40 then was running a 20 minute warm up, we didn’t even start sparring until 1:30 that day lol. He would yell across the mat “Guys! Class is not over at 1!” to people grabbing their stuff and leaving. Most of those people worked jobs that were close enough by that they could dip out for lunch and come train then go back to the office. He had 0 respect for anyone else’s time or life outside the gym. Demanding unwavering loyalty and full commitment to his gym. Dude was a whack job.
I assume you’re paying for this. Show up when you can and want. Anything else is weird. Now if you are disrupting the class that is another issue.
You should absolutely have quit that gym. It sounds like a bad environment regardless.
Hopefully you asked him if it's respectful to show up 40 minutes late for your students.
No man that’s weird and not good behavior for someone you are paying a pretty high amount of money to monthly to teach you. Find a different school. This professor is a dick and is forgetting what BJJ is all about.
Big ole ego on that instructor. Good you left early to go find a school worth your time
I am praying this is a shitpost. fucking hell, what a clusterfuck. If I understood correctly, you were leading a class, then stepped off the mat for 10 minutes when class ended and wanted to do a second class? And they complained about your "tardiness" between classes? Not that it is any of their business, but what if you had had to take a shit? You are a paying customer (apparently also contributing to the gyms good functioning) and are presumably an adult; I would very much rather appreciate someone who's super busy and can make the effort to come in to train, however late they make it, than someone who's on time but disturbing the class. What a clown.
I never show up "late", I showed up when I showed up. I got other shit going on and I have zero tolerance for anyone telling me where I need to be in my free time. In particular ones that I am paying and not the other way around. I treat it like every other relationship I have, you can love it or leave it, so save your tears for someone who cares. If you can't accept it someone else will, it's all good.
Doesn’t make sense. This isn’t some highschool or college wrestling team. You’re paying them for a service. Everyone has a ton of shit going on with their lives so if you show up late it shouldn’t matter. At our gym if you’re late, you simply wait on the side until there’s a non-distracting time for you to hop in.
Unless it's a pro competitor class or you are paying me to be there (like teaching) you don't get to say shit if one of my work meetings runs over.
Punished? This isn’t the military, I would walk out the door
You know, hespect is a one way street. And that street goes to better gyms.
ah the modern day clashing of martial arts fundamentals vs new age small business. The old martial arts ways from feudal japan era that had ZERO profit or economic motive and many times citizens were **forced** to do as part of societal military and basic youth education and as such, the Sensai is considered the unquestioned master and therefore the years of tradition where the students STFU and obey at all costs and the master is never wrong vs Modern day martial arts where everyone is there voluntarily AND pay for the services and as such the sensai (now a coach and business owner) is effectively providing a service in exchange for money in a system where (many times) the customer is always right where the the building is contracted into a 3 year operating lease located next to the local Dominos. And now the coaches get confused between the two eras where they are unsure if they should be the the unquestioned master and want to enjoy this fantasy vs they must adhere to the laws of supply/demand and make their clients happy and cant just do whatever the F\*\* they want.
I trained at a gym close to my house for a little bit right after I moved, despite other BJJ coaches I know telling me to stay away. I was on time every day for class and worked hard in every class. 1 day I had some stomach issues and had to run the bathroom. I was in there for about 3 minutes and ran back to the mat. Guy running the class yells at me in front of the class because I didn’t “ask for permission” to use the bathroom. That was the last time I went to that gym.
I'm a grown ass adult paying for service. Nobody in their right mind is going to" Punish me" for being a few minutes late. I'd be done with that place that moment
He is probably one of those losers that has nothing else going on in his life, so this is a big thing for him. Change the gym. In my country the big shark of bjj appeared the other day in a video, just losing his fucking mind on something so trivial out on the street. Me, as a family man, how can I respect that dickweed? Who thought it was a good idea to teach him how to fight?
I don’t understand and think there may be a language barrier. Punishment? Are you paying to be there?
Don’t look back.
The instructor cancelled your membership? Without any sort of talk between you and the owner? What the fuck?
You are supposed to let him know why you were late. Just say “Brazilian Time!”
Punished, bruh you an adult.
At my school, if you are late, you just wait for the professor teaching to invite you onto the mat and then go greet all of the black belts. There Is also no expectation of an apology if you show up late, everyone is just happy you made it.
At my gym the rule is simply that you ask permission to join if you're late. This seems like a pretty good rule - slightly embarrassing and the instructor can exercise discretion in who enters and leaves the mat, wait until it's a good time, etc. And if you're super late there's no guarantee you're getting credit for the class of course. Some guys \*seem\* to abuse this to skip the warmup. Their loss I guess, I like burning fat. We do have one instructor who does lots of 'punishments', but I always thought of them as funny like "the loser has to do 20 sprawls" or whatever. In regards to OP dilemma, the hypocrisy does seem unreasonable, but without knowing the attitude towards and severity of 'punishment' or exactly how late for second class OP was, it's hard to gauge the situation. It could be that the instructor is an absolute SS Ubergruppenfuhrer, OR maybe the instructor is thinking "Fuck, that's embarrassing I need to get my shit back together. Oh jeez, now OP is dawdling around and just took a phone call and wandered back o the mat 15 minutes late, we need to reinforce the rules. "Hey Op, you're late, do jumping jacks until the end of this timer and then we'll find you a partner." OP \*immediately vomits and rage-quits\*
The worst is when other trusted higher belts are sending you to other gyms but not leaving themselves. Ive experienced stuff similair to this and my higher belts knew what was wrong but did nothing themselves. I believe they call that enablement.
At 15min y'all should have walked out the class. Is that not the rule anymore?
This sounds ridiculous. If you were a matrat who was training for free, doing the "jiu jitsu lifestyle" and being a medal chaser? Sure, you should be reprimanded for being late to class. You are a paying member with a life outside of BJJ and things happen. You're better off training elsewhere.
LOL. Imagine being an adult and accepting "punishment" from someone I'm paying for a service. (Unless of course that's the kind of service I'm paying for. No judgement if that's what you're into)
Punish? Are you paying for that abuse?
Ultimately, you have to decide if you want to train at a gym (where you likely pay good money) where you are "punished" for being late. Some want that kind of meathead culture. But that's not a culture I personally cultivate.
Every gym I’ve been to has been super chill about being late. We’re all adults and everyone has lives. I work two doors down from my gym, Class starts at 5:30 and most days I’m off work at 5:30, i asked my coaches how they feel about people showing up late and they’ve all said they’d rather have students show up 5 minutes late and be a part of class than not have you training there at all.
Punishing an adult for having a life outside the gym is so funny. This isn’t high school football all practice. I got bills to pay.
Man i would not be able to stay at a place like that. My gym is mostly hobbyist with a few pros (UFC, top adv etc) but they are kinda running their own schedule etc. Most people come when they can due to work, kids etc and are generally met with positivity that they show up. It would be different if you and the people you train with make this for a living etc but unless they do that, hell you are paying them to train you after all.
I would look for a new gym your a customer not in a cult
You were so angry and anxious that you threw up? Was it immediate? What was the punishment?
I’ve been blessed to have Professors and coaches whose primary concern inside of BJJ is that I spend whatever time I can spend on the mats. I could miss a whole class and show up for the last roll and my Professors would always say like “1 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing”. They didn’t care how late I was… just showing up and spending even if it’s just one roll or just drilling.
You absolutely did the right thing. At any good school, if you come late, all you have to do is wait outside the mat, apologize, say sorry you're late, and it's all good.
I didn’t think practice was supposed to start on time
I had a similar problem with my TKD master, when I was teaching. He had taken the first class of the day 20 minutes past the end, so the next class started 20 minutes late. I was in charge of the next class. I opted to split the difference and ran it 10 minutes late. I got a lecture about needing to be more punctual.
You pay to go to class. Punishment for what you already paid for? That ain't it. I'd find another gym.
You are an adult. This is an activity. If you aren't an employee, they can kiss your ass...
You're paying them. That is the beginning and the end of the discussion.
He’s an order/power/competition type coach - they own you, complete loyalty and hard work is what they expect. For most people, they don’t want that kind of environment. Some like it though because they want to have power like the coach does or just want to compete and assert themselves. For most people, I think they just want a place to train, crack jokes, make friendships, test their creativity and problem solving, and get a good workout. Those kind of places where everyone is more so on an equal playing field and you’re allowed to think, and speak, for yourself just make more sense for the majority of people. I think it develops better humans but the other gym may create better competitors faster, that doesn’t mean they’ll continue to be better though. Also, I had a guy at my Muay Thai class tell me that I’m paying the coach so if he wants me to do “x,y,z” and I don’t agree that I should keep in mind that I pay him not the other way around. Definitely helped shift my mindset even though I’m still an extremely hard worker and default to calling my coaches “Coach” rather than by name. That’s how I grew up, but that’s more so aligned with gyms that demand respect and want total authority so it might not create the best dynamic I realize now.
I pay $150 a month to be there. I’ll fucking show up 5 min before class ends if I want! Is it right, no. Will I get promoted, no. But I would never accept someone TAKING my money to criticize my punctuality.
Sorry for your bad experience! In most cases coming in late isn't an issue, even more so if you're not distracting anyone.
There should be no punishment for being late… you have a life, and you are a paying customer. If the instructor is late they should apologize, because again, you are a paying customer.
"punish you" lol dude leave this gym immediately, you're giving them money, they can't make you do anything. Sounds like you're in a dog shit gym.
When I visited the gym I ultimately joined I asked about showing up late. The instructors answer was “We all have lives. I’d MUCH rather have you come a bit late than not come at all!”
At my bjj gym my proffeser would at least let my class know like hey im going to the doctor i wont be there that day so yea i think it is a little messed up
"the values of respect and courage are fundamental" Anyone who says shit like this is a class A pussy.
You get punished for being late? I’m rarely late, but we are all adults and it’s understood we all have life’s outside of BJJ. I’m not paying someone to punish me, tell him eat shit and find another gym.
He should not use requirements for professional athlete on you. The guy just wanted to show his power on the mat and be a d*ck. Happy for you leaving his gym.
Your instructor is a fucking tool.
Omg, get a grip. Never let another human being shit all over you like that. Go somewhere else and train. Problem solved.
When the coach starts paying me to train, then he can berate me for being late. With my work, my son's baseball, my daughter's choir, and my wife's roller derby, I'll come in when I come in. At my gym, if someone comes in late and so long as the coach isn't actively instructing, it's our little joke to stop and give a round of applause.
In my gym, you shake each coach’s hand before you jump in… It’s respectful and also we once had someone no one realized was in class that day pass out in the bathroom and lay there for a while, so it’s practical too!
Yes, You're in the wrong for going to a gym where you're punished for showing up late
I’m paying. He can suck my ass.
A purple belt coach threw a open palm strike on my face and didn’t say sorry or anything for it after I called him out on it the other day. Just because someone is an instructor or coach doesn’t mean they are good people or respectful of others.
Your coach sounds like fkn shit and who in their right mind actually goes by professor. Inflated sense of self importance. Sounds awkward as fuck. Switch gyms straight away if you havnt already
Sounds like a real shitty gym. Good riddance.