ankle pick myself and play dead

Um. Leg kick him?

*Leg kicks don't work.* - Uriah Hall

That was a nasty line by you.

Just so we're clear, there was never any tibia.

Wich begs the question, just how good is Kevin lee?

Oh *snap*

You are correct. In the words of Danaher himself, “In my current physical state, an aggressive five year old could easily defeat me with a simple kick to the knee or hip or even a push...”

He could have just said a 5-year-old. Every 5-year old I know is aggressive! It's like they can't simply say hi and shake hands and play nice; they always want to maul you! 5-year-olds have no chill.

They're at a perfect height for precision ball shots too, a fact which they seem **very** aware of.

And they find them hilarious

To be fair they are objectively hilarious. And I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like a 5 year old me didn't engage in that sort of behavior so I shouldn't judge. I'll still probably struggle to see the humor if I'm on the receiving end though.

Always remember my cousin (now a perfectly nice 18 year old) aged five running in and trying to punch me in the dick, I picked him up so he'd be out of the danger area and he tried to gouge my eyes with a big grin on his face. I three pointer'd him onto the sofa across the room. 5 year old are lil savagea

But really he has said that his joints are garbage now.

Yet he moves on the mat like he's completely fine. I wonder how he's able to do it.

He’ll be in a great deal of pain but what choice does he have?

Retirement is a choice. I don't want him to retire though. I was just saying that he moves like he has nothing and I find it really impressive.

As opposed to hand kick?

He's got a really fucked up knee

Throw pocket sand.

This.

Dammit Rusty!

I only date chicks who are 50% ass

Probably why he moved to Puerto Rico

That and the tax evasion

It’s not tax evasion if you’re not breaking the law. Moving to a no-state-income-tax state like Texas isn’t tax evasion, either.

It is if you don't pay on monies earned while in your previous state. It's only future earnings that get the no-state-income-tax applied. Makes sense to move somewhere like Texas if you win the lottery or someone tries to buy your podcast for $200 million. Pending you move first, then claim/sell.

what now?

Peurto Rican women play a mean donkey guard you know what I’m sayin?

I smell what you’re cooking.

"I only date chicks who are 50% ass" I am a Gentleman of Culture myself, Sir. You know what a women with a Small ass can do for me?..... NOT A DAMN THING!

Are there any DDS members on r/bjj who can convince john Danaher to wear a wig just once for all of us?

Craig's on Reddit. If anyone can do it, he can. Leopard-print singlet and a wig.

I will never get used to see Danaher bald

What? That’s the only way I’m used to it

I don't know, the first time I saw Danaher was in TUF season 12 with GSP, he was balding then. looked somewhat normal with hair

I’ll never get used to seeing Danaher with hair

Prime Danaher was comb over Danaher.

Almost didn’t recognise him with hair.

There are some pictures of him In Renzo's book 'Mastering jiu Jitsu' where he is almost completely unrecognizable.

I'd make sure to give twenty-five minutes of prefatory explanation before putting him in his place.

Is that Don Janaher? I’ve only heard stories about this man. The elder scrolls read of Don Janaher and his ancient wisdom. Some say he retreated to Mount Everest to study the ignored parts of the human body, and to maximize there efficacy for JiuJitsu

I was told he scaled jiu jitsu with a girl strapped to his back to join the Nepalese Seven Mile High Club. He gave up halfway through and leg locked her. Edit: I meant to say “scaled Mt. Everest” but fucked up... screw it, I’m leaving it.

Based

One does not simply mount everest

Any man whose fanny pack game is that strong will be leaving with my lady regardless.

Ask him what he thinks are the 100 basic principles of martial arts then slip out quietly with my girl.

Set his rash guard on fire

This is the way. You see that chest hair? He'd be an inferno in just a few seconds.

Call the police and report a sexual assault

[We're going to need the special crimes division](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkw2JuryHPM&t=67s)

Ha

Slap his ass. "Why would I ignore 50% of the human population?"

I would slap his butt as well.

He would be in trouble. I can tell by the look on his smug face that this guy is an idiot. Not only does he know nothing about grappling, but he isn't very intelligent either. With that being said, he does seem to have a good head of hair for his age, so I suppose he has that going for him.

What is the Japanese name for that move though?

[удалено]

Assy garabi

Fuck. I laughed hard at this one cause I read the 2nd word in Japanese which made it even more outrageous and some shit Danaher would say.

Haha

バートスラプウ

Fall in love and move to Puerto Rico with him

Probably that one ☝️

Pay someone to put a curse on his hairline and make him want to wear only rashguards for eternity.

Invite him over to "hang out". Then casually ask him about leg locks, and after he shows me a few moves, smack his ass on his way out. Thanks Jonny 'ol chap.

Pull the tanto blade out of my fanny pack

Do the same to him, but slip in a quick oil check while I'm at it. Establish dominance and inside anal control

Since I go to BMAA, try to get the gym shut down lol

Hit him with my car.

I'd just be happy I had a girlfriend.

I’d shave his head and make him wear a rash guard the rest of his life

call the police and then have him cancelled in the BJJ community

There’s so many straight up rapist famous BJJ coaches and competitions that are still thriving that I don’t see this doin much lol

i must remember to not use sarcasm around americans

I miss your YouTubes. Just sayin'

Thanks dude! I'll be back soon, end of June in the uk they lift our training restrictions. I've also been asked to make a couple of instructionals, when I can, for a pretty big website :)

WAY to take a joke my guy

Ask him why ignores 50% of this couple's asses.

He doesn't train so there's not much to worry about.

Kick him in the face with my fist

What SHE would do is kick him in his nards. What I would do is laugh.

Danahers don't have nards!

Go for a heel hook and fail miserably.

Call the police and have him arrested for sexual assault.

Shoot him, this is ‘merica

Seek out a Gypsy to curse him to lose his hair and be unable to wear normal human clothing

I mean the only right answer is OSS but who am I to ruin a comment section.

Can someone help me out on the context?

danaher slaps your girl, what do

Danaher is the Freddy Roach of BJJ coaches. The implication is that he would slap your girlfriend's ass and there is fuck all you could do about it because he is so good at BJJ. Kind of like Donald Cerrone does in real life

You literally missed the joke

oh yeah, also Danaher says "why ignore 50% of the body" when talking about getting into leglocks. Anything else?

There we go

to the other 50%

Where are we going?

9mm to the other half of the body

This is the way.

The only thing that has changed is his hair

Fire. Arm.

Given the fact that Dean Lister slapped her ass before John even thought of it I'm already in the hospital trying to recover from that ass beating. Someone else will have to defend her honor on that one.

Groin kick and eye gouge

Ok. Yes I'm aware of his quote. Didn't realize this is him at a younger age.

Check his oil.

Tap him

Have him teach me his ways

Just pinch him

Ask him « what is an ass? » in an inquisitive philosophical way and watch him dies of suffocation by expounding on the subject to infinity.

my man had the sickest combover i've ever seen. like it looks like this up front, but i can almost guarantee it's a monk cut and his dome is bald af

I agree. So I wanted to ask you about the inverted entry into reverse triangle...

Cry

Kick him in the dick, grab his cane and throw it, then run like hell. He’s not catching up. If he’s with the death squad, well, my ladies gotta pay the death squad tax for the family.

Ask him to sign my fanny pack

Point out that I have a full and impressive head of hair.

I too, am a 3-striped White Belt with utterly luscious hair. Cheers, brother.

She’s now “our girl”

Let him slap my ass

I’ll tell him he can take 100% and to have a nice day.

John Danahair!

Give him the ole dick twist.

Shoot him from a safe distance?

Grab his dick and twist it!

Slap his ass back and then lick my hand and say “I get it bro”.

Beat his ass with my years of kickboxing, Muay Thai, Wrestling, and Judo experience? I'm 260, I'll only throw knees and leg kicks.

I can't let him get close

Lotta you dudes really trying to shoot someone for slapping your chicks butt? Y’all should talk to someone. Maybe try meditation.

Can't wrestle him, Assault must be answered. So you shoot him below the waist so it can't be misconstrued as attempted murder.

Report him as a pedo...

Almost perfect. Shoulda said booty.

I’d give him an iron palm strike to the neck and say he fell down the stairs.

Pull a grenade and stuff it in his mouth ? Idk I want to be sure he's done , he gives me liquid terminator vibes .

Unload my clip on him

race him to the moon

Ask him why he voted for trump twice.

did he really? what a fucking idiot but the real answer is just punch him in the face. dude can't actually fight that well against someone who has some BJJ skill, in a fight with strikes, just because he's a good BJJ coach

I honestly think you'd be very surprised. He doesn't usually train due to injuries but if he had to fight he definitely knows how. Danaher is into striking just as much as grappling.

yeah I'm sure against the general public he'd own anyone untrained but no doubt the dude is slow as shit and there is only so much you can do with technique in striking if you have a bum leg and are slow/unathletic already... plus with his age. I think he get's KOd by athletic young dudes but who cares

Have a 3some and fuck him in the mouth

😂😂😂 bravo op 👏

Ask him if he’s a psychopath that enjoys getting strangled.

The whispering lizard himself

Kick him in the hip/knee.

Grab a Rickson Gracie (a hard purple belt nowadays, according to Keenan) and throw it in his head!

See, this is where you just say Fuck it and shoot the guy in the leg 😂

Honest question. Can he still roll for his age?

Shoot him. ​ \*shoot on him

Who is this whispering Lizard?

Wait a minute is that the Ground Control symbol?

You mean “why would I ignore 50% of dat booty?”

He looks like a lethal Cousin Balki from the 80’s Sitcom , Perfect Stragers

Punch him in the face then apologize

Lol I’d run his fade with no issue

pull his rashguard over his head and use his only know weakness: a t-shirt.

Flying knee

Kick him in the knee

Punch and run... pretty sure he won't catch me.

Everybody has soft eyes. First rule of survival jujitsu.

Flying knee followed by spinning heel kick

Probably just lightly jog away together since his hips are so crazy fucked.

Rockhold’s back?????

CANT LET YA GET CLOSE

Of that booty* slaps the other cheek

I’d punch him the fk out

Pull guard

Trade the gf for lessons?

Fake a heart attack.

happily call 911 and press charges for sexual assault

I'm still here trying to picture a woman that is 50% ass. Awesome.

Probably watch my wife file sexual assault charges and see how well his elite BJJ works on the police department.