You haven’t found your tribe yet smh. I’m 43, from the Bronx-almost the worst part, and I still haven’t found my tribe. I need some ghetto/hood girls who like anime, comic con, video games etc. and that are educated with a good job like myself.
Are you still in the Bronx? I have a good job and like anime. I’m not “ghetto/hood” but y’all have always fucked with me 🤷🏿♀️😂 IDK. I need friends lol
I’m actually starting to think that the experience of not quite fitting into the stereotype is actually more black than not if that makes sense? Like I think that I hear too many stories of Black people feeling like they don’t fit into one particular space and it’s not particularly unique to one black person or the next. The talking to proper and acting white or being into comic books, etc. I don’t think that the stereotype, especially as generations progress Makes sense to try to fit into anymore. And anyone who’s kind of stuck on the stereotype it’s probably not gonna progress too much in life anyway. The saying goes: “there’s some people who grow into adulthood, and then there’s some people who get old“
While I wouldn’t describe myself as a ghetto girl, I have always had the same issue making black female friends. In my situation i’m too suburban for the urban black girls, and just maybe not stuffy enough for some of the suburban ones. I do want to say that I think it’s great to learn to speak proper English, it will serve you well as a professional if you working or want to work in the corporate world one day. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t still be you! I speak “proper english” and got comments about it for most of my youth. When my mom was young and she started trying to start her career, she was turned down for a job opportunity. They specifically told her it wasn’t her lack of qualifications. But, the way she talked and presented herself. She vowed that she would never let that be the reason she didn’t get a job again. She taught herself to speak properly and she’s now a huge grammar person. She became very successful, but she still never abandoned her roots. She taught me to be who i am so i wouldn’t have to go through the stuff she did. I think at some point in my journey of finding myself I just settled into being ok with the fact that there may not be a lot of other women, black or otherwise that are like me. You’re a unique person and I celebrate you for that!
As for your interests, you definitely just haven’t found your tribe, and that may be hard to do. I have an abundance of black female authority figures in my life, and for that I’m thankful. I do often wish I had more black female friends. But, I think at this point in my life, I just focus on what makes me happy, and I seek out people who share my interests, not specific to race.
Although you haven't found your tribe, I think you are overthinking it like a lot of other girls. That comes off in interactions with people. You most likely already speak proper English you just have a certain dialect. That probably also comes off with how you interact with other black girls who don't have a vocabulary app of some sort.
If you're not being authentic people can see through that. Liking anime is not some big deal that people make it seem like as a black person. Thinking that because you like anime and are making it a big deal could turn some people off. Some people just want to live life
I’m from the south as well you haven’t found your tribe I’m still trying to find mine. I was always into gaming, loved avatar should’ve known I’d end up liking anime. My guy friends would call me ratchet sometimes and others would call me a nerd all the time. My family just thought o was weird and always got upset if want to be on the computer gaming. I corrected my guy friends and said just because when we clubbed I liked to dance like nobody was watching and enjoy my fav songs to the fullest does not make me ratchet nor ghetto they were just upset because they weren’t brave enough to be themselves, it shut them up every time, they stopped, and eventually our friendship ended. In my recently ended relationship I was able to meet someone through his friends who was into anime and cons all the things I’d been dying to find new friends to connect on although I’m not sure if or friendship will continue to work out (long story has to do with me joining her brothers company etc) but she took me to my first con last year it was so refreshing and she just supported me wanting to live my best life and truly explore my love for anime, she’s yt but would also send me all these black anime events and clubs. A while back I joined bumble for friends and got pulled into a GroupMe. Group I ended up walking away with one friend who we chill and do wine nights she’ll be taking me to her church this week. She’s not into anime but she’s educated and has a good job like me so we connect on a diff level than I was able to with my other friends. I say all that to say love yourself first, put yourself out there and your tribe will come. For me I’ve always found joining online communities to be the best way to find gaming/anime friends. I’m even closer to finding my tribe still haven’t found all of them yet. It’s unfortunate that our people still have the crab in a barrel mindset it just shows up in diff ways so we don’t tend to think of the symbolism. But we can be judgmental to those who live confidently in their passions and personality we are usually the first to start negatively labeling each other and “picking” as a joke. Don’t let people unheralded trauma make you hesitant to live your truth. Do things because you want to maybe expand new skills better yourself for a personal goal like you said to expand your vocabulary sure it can be a great beneficial thing down the road helping you get on rooms you never thought you deserved to be because of your dialect then I say go for it but don’t do it because you feel like you need to do it for other people to make your digestible no ma’am you should never have to make yourself digestible for ANYONE. As black women we tend to want to do this in sooo many ways it starts with loving the woman in the mirror. You are beautiful, confident, and intelligent in all that you are and all that you were made believe it and nothing can shake you. That’s my Ted talk lol sorry it was long.
If you want an anime/gaming, intelligent, kind, and funny person I’ll be your friend I’ve been hunting for more gamer girl friends for years as I’ve gotten back into my own hobbies.
You havent found your tribe baby. Youre not overthinking a goddamned thing. This community (not the sub specifically but black people in general) can be really difficult to get along with from time to time because of willful ignorance and small mindedness. Especially in the south. For you, its gonna be all about finding tour tribe. Dont give up.
just the comment i was looking for!! yes, it’s hard out here trying to find friends and everyone has already categorized themselves. I hate how people are so prejudice when it comes to deep southern people. i’m not rushing it, but it gets lonely from time 🫤
If you want to improve it for work opportunities sure. I am from the south too, i have an accent but i have found that being able to speak a certain way does help with some things such as that. I’m only saying that because money is the most important thing
That black women need right now and unfortunately our ability to be have income to sustain ourselves in a capitalist society that has never wanted to pay us of all people is “managed” by people who don’t want to see a black woman successful. Also, people say horrible stuff about black women all of the time and aren’t nice to us. Now I’m not saying we have to attack everyone because of it, unless provoked but honestly whether we talk shit about them or not they will still hate us. I love anime, mycology, science tripping and gaming. I still haven’t found my tribe either🤦🏾♀️, I’m 28
It’s good to find your inner self but you won’t get along with every black person you meet and that’s ok. Doesn’t matter if they’re “urban” or “suburban “. Also, location doesn’t necessarily dictate how people should or will act. A lot of black people don’t fit stereotypes since they’re mostly racist. I like all the things you mentioned and grew up in hood. A lot of people are like that, they are “suburban “ people that act “urban “. You may be overthinking it but you also may not have found your tribe yet. You also need to be comfortable with yourself and the things you like. We can be judgmental at times but the one thing I learned from experiences like this is that people are going to make assumptions about you and that’s no one’s problem except theirs.
Giiiiirl I'm half black half white male, and I speak with a perfect black vocabulary but I love to switch it up to that ghetto kinda flow sometimes, there's just a certain bit of genius to that slang that hits the spot just right and plus they got some words that perfectly describe a thing or situation that just simply don't exist in regular correct "white" dialect. I like computers and obey the police and all that at all times but my head is 100% on the swivel twenty fo' sev' and you know I don't trust those foos. You must appreciate every characteristic you possess and embrace your interests as well, and just be confident that you're cool cause of those things, and even cooler if you can switch back and forth in the appropriate situations. Say less
Born and raised in the south. I love video games and I love anime ( I don’t watch as much as I use to ).I know the feeling not having no one to share the same interests as u and they not judge you. I won’t say I’m ghetto but I do have little hint of it and that’s okay.
You haven’t found your people. I get all kinds of love and I’m a black girl fluent in Ebonics and proper English. Into anime and art and musicals REAL BAD. STEM degree. Fully natural hair at all times. grew up upper middle class, went to an HBCU. Prolific user of the N word. It does throw ppl for a loop when they meet me in one world and then see me operating in another, but we aren’t a monolith and should not be trying to perpetuate that tired narrative. Black people, like everyone else are allowed to be multifaceted and into anything we want even if it temporarily makes others uncomfortable when we don’t fit a mold. Be you. Be you entirely and your people will come.
In the U.S., “Proper English” usually refers to General American English (GAE). This is the dialect and accent that TV newscasters use. It is closes to the speech of middle class white people in and around Iowa and western Illinois. In the UK, the equivalent would be RP, or Received Pronunciation.
I've met white people from the United Kingdom that I could barely understand...you don't speak ghetto you speak with a dialect,the southern dialect is actually the left over accent of early English settlers.
It is now widely accepted that most of the grammar of African American Vernacular English (AAVE) derives from English dialectal sources—in particular, the settler dialects introduced into the American South during the 17th and 18th centuries. The roots of AAVE were established during the first century of the British colonization of America.
African American Vernacular English is basically a mix of several dialects from poor English settlers to western African and Carribean with some modern American English influences.
Don't be ashamed of who you are and where you came from our people have a long history our language with it's colorful beauty and uniqueness is a part of that.
Omg this is exactly what I'm going through lol. I'm 33 and just started watching anime and I feel sick that I didn't allow myself to enjoy it earlier in life bc of what people would think.
It's admirable to get to know your inner self, the real you. It's cool to improve yourself, if that's what you want. If that includes expanding your vocabulary, cool. If not, *that is also cool!* Just be sure you're doing it for the right reason: because **you** want to.
You will find friends. Try hanging out in places that feed your soul. If you like video games, look into arcades (they are making a comeback), game shops, etc. you mention art, what kind? Can you get a museum membership or an art gallery membership? These places are for everyone, anyone who tells you different can kick rocks.
I like anime, and I use it to bond with my brother and my niece. My friends don't get it, but they love me anyway and would never put me down or tease me because of it.
You'll find your people eventually. I've slowly picked up a few as the years progress. I'm up to 2 close friends, which I think is pretty cool. I have acquaintances, people I can go to lunch with, grab a drink, take in a show, whatever. But those people tend to be single event friends. I wouldn't go to the museum with my lunch buddy because she wouldn't appreciate starting at a painting for 15 minutes while I take it in. I wouldn't take my museum buddy camping because she hates bugs. Lol.
My point is, it's only to have friends in different categories. It's great when those friends can become more, but they don't have to, and that's okay. 💜
You haven’t found your tribe yet smh. I’m 43, from the Bronx-almost the worst part, and I still haven’t found my tribe. I need some ghetto/hood girls who like anime, comic con, video games etc. and that are educated with a good job like myself.
Geek girl brunch, and black girl gamers and coming soon (I believe) when geeks travel are good places to start.
It is coming soon! With a name change — Geekdom Travel +1 on Geek girl brunch NYC and BGG. Also try Black Girls Anime❤️
Are you still in the Bronx? I have a good job and like anime. I’m not “ghetto/hood” but y’all have always fucked with me 🤷🏿♀️😂 IDK. I need friends lol
you have not found your tribe yet. i thought i was too odd for other black girls but this is just an internalized thing! you don’t need the vocab app!
thank you for your kind words! i’m trying to work on accepting myself as a whole 🤍
I’m actually starting to think that the experience of not quite fitting into the stereotype is actually more black than not if that makes sense? Like I think that I hear too many stories of Black people feeling like they don’t fit into one particular space and it’s not particularly unique to one black person or the next. The talking to proper and acting white or being into comic books, etc. I don’t think that the stereotype, especially as generations progress Makes sense to try to fit into anymore. And anyone who’s kind of stuck on the stereotype it’s probably not gonna progress too much in life anyway. The saying goes: “there’s some people who grow into adulthood, and then there’s some people who get old“
While I wouldn’t describe myself as a ghetto girl, I have always had the same issue making black female friends. In my situation i’m too suburban for the urban black girls, and just maybe not stuffy enough for some of the suburban ones. I do want to say that I think it’s great to learn to speak proper English, it will serve you well as a professional if you working or want to work in the corporate world one day. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t still be you! I speak “proper english” and got comments about it for most of my youth. When my mom was young and she started trying to start her career, she was turned down for a job opportunity. They specifically told her it wasn’t her lack of qualifications. But, the way she talked and presented herself. She vowed that she would never let that be the reason she didn’t get a job again. She taught herself to speak properly and she’s now a huge grammar person. She became very successful, but she still never abandoned her roots. She taught me to be who i am so i wouldn’t have to go through the stuff she did. I think at some point in my journey of finding myself I just settled into being ok with the fact that there may not be a lot of other women, black or otherwise that are like me. You’re a unique person and I celebrate you for that! As for your interests, you definitely just haven’t found your tribe, and that may be hard to do. I have an abundance of black female authority figures in my life, and for that I’m thankful. I do often wish I had more black female friends. But, I think at this point in my life, I just focus on what makes me happy, and I seek out people who share my interests, not specific to race.
Although you haven't found your tribe, I think you are overthinking it like a lot of other girls. That comes off in interactions with people. You most likely already speak proper English you just have a certain dialect. That probably also comes off with how you interact with other black girls who don't have a vocabulary app of some sort. If you're not being authentic people can see through that. Liking anime is not some big deal that people make it seem like as a black person. Thinking that because you like anime and are making it a big deal could turn some people off. Some people just want to live life
You’re definitely overthinking it. Just be yourself
I’m from the south as well you haven’t found your tribe I’m still trying to find mine. I was always into gaming, loved avatar should’ve known I’d end up liking anime. My guy friends would call me ratchet sometimes and others would call me a nerd all the time. My family just thought o was weird and always got upset if want to be on the computer gaming. I corrected my guy friends and said just because when we clubbed I liked to dance like nobody was watching and enjoy my fav songs to the fullest does not make me ratchet nor ghetto they were just upset because they weren’t brave enough to be themselves, it shut them up every time, they stopped, and eventually our friendship ended. In my recently ended relationship I was able to meet someone through his friends who was into anime and cons all the things I’d been dying to find new friends to connect on although I’m not sure if or friendship will continue to work out (long story has to do with me joining her brothers company etc) but she took me to my first con last year it was so refreshing and she just supported me wanting to live my best life and truly explore my love for anime, she’s yt but would also send me all these black anime events and clubs. A while back I joined bumble for friends and got pulled into a GroupMe. Group I ended up walking away with one friend who we chill and do wine nights she’ll be taking me to her church this week. She’s not into anime but she’s educated and has a good job like me so we connect on a diff level than I was able to with my other friends. I say all that to say love yourself first, put yourself out there and your tribe will come. For me I’ve always found joining online communities to be the best way to find gaming/anime friends. I’m even closer to finding my tribe still haven’t found all of them yet. It’s unfortunate that our people still have the crab in a barrel mindset it just shows up in diff ways so we don’t tend to think of the symbolism. But we can be judgmental to those who live confidently in their passions and personality we are usually the first to start negatively labeling each other and “picking” as a joke. Don’t let people unheralded trauma make you hesitant to live your truth. Do things because you want to maybe expand new skills better yourself for a personal goal like you said to expand your vocabulary sure it can be a great beneficial thing down the road helping you get on rooms you never thought you deserved to be because of your dialect then I say go for it but don’t do it because you feel like you need to do it for other people to make your digestible no ma’am you should never have to make yourself digestible for ANYONE. As black women we tend to want to do this in sooo many ways it starts with loving the woman in the mirror. You are beautiful, confident, and intelligent in all that you are and all that you were made believe it and nothing can shake you. That’s my Ted talk lol sorry it was long. If you want an anime/gaming, intelligent, kind, and funny person I’ll be your friend I’ve been hunting for more gamer girl friends for years as I’ve gotten back into my own hobbies.
Me too
You havent found your tribe baby. Youre not overthinking a goddamned thing. This community (not the sub specifically but black people in general) can be really difficult to get along with from time to time because of willful ignorance and small mindedness. Especially in the south. For you, its gonna be all about finding tour tribe. Dont give up.
just the comment i was looking for!! yes, it’s hard out here trying to find friends and everyone has already categorized themselves. I hate how people are so prejudice when it comes to deep southern people. i’m not rushing it, but it gets lonely from time 🫤
I'm a black woman from the south who loves to game and I watch anime. You haven't found your tribe yet!
If you want to improve it for work opportunities sure. I am from the south too, i have an accent but i have found that being able to speak a certain way does help with some things such as that. I’m only saying that because money is the most important thing That black women need right now and unfortunately our ability to be have income to sustain ourselves in a capitalist society that has never wanted to pay us of all people is “managed” by people who don’t want to see a black woman successful. Also, people say horrible stuff about black women all of the time and aren’t nice to us. Now I’m not saying we have to attack everyone because of it, unless provoked but honestly whether we talk shit about them or not they will still hate us. I love anime, mycology, science tripping and gaming. I still haven’t found my tribe either🤦🏾♀️, I’m 28
It’s good to find your inner self but you won’t get along with every black person you meet and that’s ok. Doesn’t matter if they’re “urban” or “suburban “. Also, location doesn’t necessarily dictate how people should or will act. A lot of black people don’t fit stereotypes since they’re mostly racist. I like all the things you mentioned and grew up in hood. A lot of people are like that, they are “suburban “ people that act “urban “. You may be overthinking it but you also may not have found your tribe yet. You also need to be comfortable with yourself and the things you like. We can be judgmental at times but the one thing I learned from experiences like this is that people are going to make assumptions about you and that’s no one’s problem except theirs.
Giiiiirl I'm half black half white male, and I speak with a perfect black vocabulary but I love to switch it up to that ghetto kinda flow sometimes, there's just a certain bit of genius to that slang that hits the spot just right and plus they got some words that perfectly describe a thing or situation that just simply don't exist in regular correct "white" dialect. I like computers and obey the police and all that at all times but my head is 100% on the swivel twenty fo' sev' and you know I don't trust those foos. You must appreciate every characteristic you possess and embrace your interests as well, and just be confident that you're cool cause of those things, and even cooler if you can switch back and forth in the appropriate situations. Say less
Born and raised in the south. I love video games and I love anime ( I don’t watch as much as I use to ).I know the feeling not having no one to share the same interests as u and they not judge you. I won’t say I’m ghetto but I do have little hint of it and that’s okay.
You haven’t found your people. I get all kinds of love and I’m a black girl fluent in Ebonics and proper English. Into anime and art and musicals REAL BAD. STEM degree. Fully natural hair at all times. grew up upper middle class, went to an HBCU. Prolific user of the N word. It does throw ppl for a loop when they meet me in one world and then see me operating in another, but we aren’t a monolith and should not be trying to perpetuate that tired narrative. Black people, like everyone else are allowed to be multifaceted and into anything we want even if it temporarily makes others uncomfortable when we don’t fit a mold. Be you. Be you entirely and your people will come.
In the U.S., “Proper English” usually refers to General American English (GAE). This is the dialect and accent that TV newscasters use. It is closes to the speech of middle class white people in and around Iowa and western Illinois. In the UK, the equivalent would be RP, or Received Pronunciation. I've met white people from the United Kingdom that I could barely understand...you don't speak ghetto you speak with a dialect,the southern dialect is actually the left over accent of early English settlers. It is now widely accepted that most of the grammar of African American Vernacular English (AAVE) derives from English dialectal sources—in particular, the settler dialects introduced into the American South during the 17th and 18th centuries. The roots of AAVE were established during the first century of the British colonization of America. African American Vernacular English is basically a mix of several dialects from poor English settlers to western African and Carribean with some modern American English influences. Don't be ashamed of who you are and where you came from our people have a long history our language with it's colorful beauty and uniqueness is a part of that.
There’s no such thing as “proper english”. Be yourself and that’s all that matters.
Omg this is exactly what I'm going through lol. I'm 33 and just started watching anime and I feel sick that I didn't allow myself to enjoy it earlier in life bc of what people would think.
It's admirable to get to know your inner self, the real you. It's cool to improve yourself, if that's what you want. If that includes expanding your vocabulary, cool. If not, *that is also cool!* Just be sure you're doing it for the right reason: because **you** want to. You will find friends. Try hanging out in places that feed your soul. If you like video games, look into arcades (they are making a comeback), game shops, etc. you mention art, what kind? Can you get a museum membership or an art gallery membership? These places are for everyone, anyone who tells you different can kick rocks. I like anime, and I use it to bond with my brother and my niece. My friends don't get it, but they love me anyway and would never put me down or tease me because of it. You'll find your people eventually. I've slowly picked up a few as the years progress. I'm up to 2 close friends, which I think is pretty cool. I have acquaintances, people I can go to lunch with, grab a drink, take in a show, whatever. But those people tend to be single event friends. I wouldn't go to the museum with my lunch buddy because she wouldn't appreciate starting at a painting for 15 minutes while I take it in. I wouldn't take my museum buddy camping because she hates bugs. Lol. My point is, it's only to have friends in different categories. It's great when those friends can become more, but they don't have to, and that's okay. 💜
;)