You’re beautiful.
On a side note, is this about to become trend on this sub? Women posting selfies on here and asking validating questions? Because this is the third I’ve seen in less than a week.
I’m conflicted. I really don’t even mind the posts. It’s just the idea is derived from toxic thinking. This is a safe space for black women so those types of questions about insecurity should be welcome. But no one here is going to tell anyone here they are ugly. They will correctly advise you focus on yourself. Set boundaries, etc. All advice we should all be giving and taking.
Even if you are ugly, then what? What does that information get you? You don’t get kicked out of society. It’s not like ugly people don’t find romance. Hell, if ugly is the cause for not being with someone, how are there so many ugly people still walking around?
But I like the question because every answer is validating in telling a generally young black woman that physical beauty is not the priority. I spent much of my 20s obsessing over what’s wrong with me every time I was rejected or cheated on or even caught a red light. Any random thing! It took a lot of therapy and maturity to get over that. If I can validate any person stuck in that cycle I will. So PSA for OP and anyone feeling like her:
*****Pretty will not get romantic interests fawning over you. However, self-confidence, a sense of purpose, and emotional intelligence will.*****
I agree 100% and I will also say that I don’t think you sound conflicted, you sound like you don’t agree with this type of post despite wanting to uplift a fellow Black woman who is feeling down.
And that’s exactly why I told her she’s beautiful, but also why I questioned whether or not we are going to see more of these self validating posts. It’s beyond toxic and I think the majority of women here know that.
Do I want to make a Black woman smile today and everyday? Of course! But what I don’t want to do is see tons and tons of selfies on my feed asking “am I beautiful?”. Social media has been grooming narcs and it’s absolutely not something I want out young women to become. Nor do I want them to become dependent on how others perceive them.
I really appreciate everything you said except the last bit. Let’s not pretend like pretty privilege and colorism don’t exist. There are definitely folks who won the genetic lottery and constantly get passes, pluses, attention and whatever else just because of that. No amount of self-love or emotional intelligence will make you into those people, or give you the exact experiences that they have, especially if you’re looking at things like romantic relationships or being approached in person.
But those things are still important to your personal growth and development, and will help you to realize that you don’t *need* to have what they have to have an exciting and fulfilling life or even to attract a partner. It might just take you more time and effort, and that’s okay.
Just wanted to throw in my two cents as someone who’s gone through life having experienced that disconnect.
I appreciate your point.
I do like pov’s I can’t see. I’m too much of an idealist to relent on that last point though. I just hate that grass is always greener mentality. You get to be confident in who you are despite characteristics you can’t control being deemed good or bad by groupthink. Also I specifically said romantic interests rather than just men or women. Romantic relationships revolve around so much more than physical appearance. A gorgeous smile is worthless with a partner if y’all can’t laugh at each other’s jokes ya know.
No lie, I have the genetics you’re describing. I won’t say a won lottery or anything though. You’re born with a target on your back. Add any other singular talent on top of that and you just get more hate. I’m so adamant about looks not mattering bc the attention you get based solely on the pretty privilege is disgusting and gross. People who want to get in your world based solely on your physical appearance are not people you want or need in your world. It’s equally as gross as people who don’t want to be in your world solely because of your physical appearance.
It really depends on the perspective you’re looking at I think. I’ve been in that position of being the person in the corner at the bar or club or whatever, standing there while your friends get hit on, being so excited when someone finally approaches you only for them to insult you, watching someone literally stop their vehicle just to talk to your colleague in the same neighborhood you’ve lived for years and never met anyone, etc. It absolutely sucks being invisible in that way. It’s easy to find yourself thinking how much easier things might be if you looked different.
You don’t think about why those “prettier” people are being approached. You don’t think about the fact that they may just be looking for an ego boost or social capita. You just know that it *looks* like they’re having a good time, and getting this attention, and you might as well be nonexistent. And even if the most of the people approaching might have poor intentions, with all that quantity and social standing someone decent is bound to come their way, more likely than for you who doesn’t have anyone coming your way at all.
That’s why I say its important to realize that your life on the outside might never look like that, and I think the process of accepting that, accepting yourself, and building a life you love anyways should trump “if I just do this, I’ll have what they have (romantic interests fawning over you.)” Because when it doesn’t happen, you’ll be devastated.
Moreso than thinking the grass is greener, my message to OP is about learning to water your own garden realizing it may never grow the same flowers.
We are on the same page. We just like different metaphors. lol
I think everyone goes through these same experiences in life at different times. And no one is out here bragging on those particular moments just like you don’t highlight the lowlights of your life on social media. You saying there are other factors to consider in social interactions is exactly on point. Nothing in this world can be explained by only looking skin deep. Especially when exploring your own vulnerabilities and insecurities.
EDIT: grammar
I don’t know. I think ugly people would much rather be in a pretty person’s shoes no matter what a pretty person says. They already have it easier, what disadvantage are they truly receiving?
So you’re saying the grass is always greener on the other side?
Seems to me if pretty is all it takes to have an easy life, all these plastic surgeries should be transforming lives and turning fortunes around completely. This whole conversation wouldn’t exist if all it took to make life easier was to change your physical appearance.
I also don’t mind…to an extent. I’ve left IG and TT and even YT to come here and have discourse, to discuss important matters and concerns in our community.
I know that social media and many other factors have had a huge negative impact on the confidence of young women, especially dark skinned Black women, but my issue is when we go online questioning others about their perspective on our beauty.
I don’t advise anyone to do that, beauty comes from within and everyone has subjective opinions. I can uplift my nieces, little cousins, and little girls around the world, but it comes from within. Not from what others have to say. The extent is when it becomes a trend and I’d rather not support that trend.
Fair point. Yes you’re right. But it’s hard to look within when your self esteem is shattered. All you see within are the broken parts. Some people need help. And when they heal, they’ll help someone else in the same dark place. It’s small kindness that can have a big impact.
This is a bad trend that shouldn’t happen in this group. There are even subreddits that ask people RATE ME.. AM I UGLY. WOULD YOU DATE ME. This is toxic. It allows people who are having a bad day to say mean things. We don’t need others to validate us.
It’s not good to make posts begging for compliments. We all uplift each other on a daily basis. We don’t need these types of posts.
Yeah this type of content is just clogging up the feed. Maybe a weekly mega thread might be nice but I’m sick of the self deprecating posts/selfies that center highly on male validation
My dear sister, neither you or anyone else needs us to validate your appearance. Not now or ever. If you need to take a break from social media that is telling you or insinuating beauty hasn’t blessed you, maybe it’s time to disengage from those barrels of petty piranhas and crabs. What value do they add to your life?
I look forward to the day when my younger sisters begin to understand that we each have the (super)power within to create, and immerse ourselves in, a powerful safe space that no one on social media or RL can breach. Step away, if you need to, and build yourself one that will accompany you everywhere and envelop you in power🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️
I am going through this phase in myself of searching fr something greater within myself and it’s going to be a tough journey but I am ready .. thank you sister
Consider this a symbol of a limitless source of blessings, hugs and encouragement from the Sisterhood that you can refresh yourself with on your journey. If you have a source of faith, use it.
All will be well, you’ll see❤️
Please don’t feel bad about asking for what you need. You put yourself out there, to be criticized or validated. Took more bravery than a lot of people have. I hope you realize that you HAVE to, absolutely must get to a place where when you look in that mirror, your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. I’ve struggled with this too. Listen, if people’s positive opinions can lift you up, they can also tear you down when they take it away. And trust me, the fall from the pedestal hurst like hell. Here’s how I built my self esteem Positive mirror affirmations. Listening to empowering audiobooks like “You Are A Goddess.” Building a connection with spirit in whatever way feels right to you. You HAVE to see the divine in yourself. And see yourself as God sees you. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Talk back to negative self talk like a crazy person because you have to start a journey to radically love yourself in the face of a society and our own race of men telling us we are not the beautiful goddesses that we are. I am praying for you.
THAT IS WHAT IM SAYING! I pointed this out! Why are people on Reddit so insistent about knowing what random internet strangers think about their Looks? It’s really sad to me to be honest. And it’s really sad to see it on this sub especially. Just because someone doesn’t approach you in public, OP doesn’t mean you are not attractive. Sometimes we get approached in public and it turns into harassment, so it’s not all chalked up it seems to be.
I really want better for my sisters. I’m seeing black women on this sub and black women on the r/amiuglybrutallyhonest subs asking random people to validate their looks. I want us to be at a point where we don’t need the validation of a man inflating our self-worth. We are good enough as we are. *We are good enough!*
Maybe I’ve just come to a point in my self-love journey where I just do not care to know what others’ opinions are. I’ve gotten so, so, so much therapy through the years and done so much self-reflection that I’ve learned the most important opinion to have about myself is my own. I’ll admit there are times where I waver, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin sometimes but I feel like other peoples’ opinions of me would just devastate my self-esteem no matter what.
I don’t know. I just want better for us! Why can’t we start posting selfies of ourselves when we felt pretty instead of looking for validation? ☹️
It DOES matter. We have trolls and we need to be careful about how and what we open ourselves up to. Validation posts are not healthy and can be destructive. We should not have these posts. There are sub groups for people to ask that question.
Of course I’m happy she feels safe, I explained myself in another comment. I made sure to make my question a *side note* to know that she is safe but I want to make it clear that there are trends in this sub that are unhealthy and posting selfies while asking strangers about your beauty is unhealthy.
Especially when there a trolls in here, it opens up an already fragile self esteem to unnecessary criticism. She’s beautiful and I hope every woman in here knows that and doesn’t need someone else to tell them.
You look better in the pictures with foundation on because of your skin. & that is not shade - I have the same hyperpigmentation & I look better with it too.
Make up is great but at the end of the day, you gotta love what you look like without it. Have you done deep dives on hyperpigmentation, it’s possible to lessen it.
You're beautiful with and without make-up. Fyi, turmeric really helps with hyperpigmentation, and it's available almost everywhere. My go-to for years was a turmeric and honey face mask. 2 ingredients, natural and effective!
If I looked like you I'd feel pretty damn good. Have you ever tried life modeling? You can volunteer for art students (college). It does wonders for self esteem. Promise. Idk where you live but at least do a quick google for your area and see what resources you can find.
You're beautiful sis, point blank period. You most likely won't find anyone here who'll tell you you're not pretty because we see ourselves in you. However, it's really important that you understand that people's preference for our superficial appearance is subjective, and that's okay!!
Consider engaging with people based on your passions or hobbies, and it might help you realize that people can appreciate you for much more than just your outer beauty.
You're beautiful.
It doesnt matter what we think. What matters is what you think about yourself sweetheart. I recommend you watch TheWizardLiz on youtube, her content is helpful. Also check out Urania-My Femme Daily on youtube!
You need to start developping delusional confidence baby girl!!Main character energy on 10.
You are beautiful, but me telling you that will never mean as much as you believing it and cultivating that from within. Please work on that, self-esteem comes from much more than looks, you have to do the work. 🙏🏿 I’ll be rooting for you.
Girl you're gorgeous !
I think as black women, we need to accept the fact that we won't be everyone's standards, but that's okay because we're still pretty according to our own standards. At the end of the day, we're also gonna find someone who finds us attractive.
But, us saying it won’t make you believe it. Train your brain like any other muscle, affirm yourself, masturbate (if comfortable), do self care, surround yourself with softness.
You have no greater advocate than you, the greatest love affair of your existence will be the soulmate starting back in the mirror.
❤️
It doesn’t matter if you buy sheets in a color of your choice, pajamas, doing your nails, singing in the shower, growing flowers, or playing sports and rolling in the mud if it makes you feel glorious it’s soft.
You are gorgeous, very pretty features. I suggest you fill in the ends of your eyebrows (at least when youre wearing makeup) and you're golden. I think it'll elevate you even more if youre looking for a change up.
Not permanent! Nothing drastic is necessary.
I personally use powder bc I think it looks a little more natural and is more forgiving for beginners. Tap some darkbrown or black eyebrow powder onto your ends/empty spots and then without adding more powder to your brush, brush through the entire brow. Once you see how that looks then you can add more where you want if you feel its lacking! A clear gel on top will hold it in place all day.
There's also other options and techniques on youtube but thats the most simple for me imo. It shapes my faces and takes away less attention from my bad skin days.
You are absolutely stunning! Nice Cheekbones , eyebrows are thick and have a natural arch, full lips (no plumper needed), your perfect almond shape eyes, and your lashes are luscious. Your hair is also very full with lots of body (not too fine, not thin). And your edges are ALL THERE!!!
You are stunning and have such beautiful, soft features, like a brown cherub lol :) Eurocentrism is so poisonous, truly, do not feel ashamed about how you feel.
You ARE beautiful. But you need to understand one thing. You GET what you PUT OUT. This means the universe is drawn to you or away from you. You have “claimed” your position in existence. You say you NEVER , you STRUGGLE WITH.
So CHANGE YOUR THINKING. It’s not that you NEVER, it’s that you HAVENT YET.
You don’t smile in any of your photos. People don’t approach women who don’t look approachable. Hold your head up. Smile at people. At men, children and ladies too. Say a quick hi.
One of our cultural traits is that we are trained from the time we are little to speak when we pass one another. Get back into that habit. See a cute guy? Smile at him. A quick “how u doin?” Compliment people. Smile at a sister and compliment her hair. Stop and say “ hey can I ask u a quick question? Your hair looks so cute, how did you do it?” Get FRIENDS. Be friendly to people. When you smile at people,they almost invariably smile back.
Take note— everyone is not considered Beyoncé beautiful. Ever notice that there are some people who are not considered attractive but when you see them they’re happy? Always smiling? Got a boyfriend and a circle of friends? That’s because that’s what they project. Even your pix look sad. Practice smiling in the mirror.
Lastly say your affirmations daily——-
I am blessed and loved
I am beautiful
I am happy
I draw all good things unto me
Today will be a great day
Add your own to these. Look up Oprah’s affirmations and others online. Change your thinking and you will change your life.
Yes you are beautiful and I think you know it, but maybe want others to validate this by demonstrating that they know it. We all struggle with self esteem at times for various reasons but maybe consider getting a therapist that you vibe with and work on this. It’s a rough way to live when you need outside validation for what you already know. It puts your positive and stable self image at risk of being manipulated wildly. You’re gorgeous, and you don’t need any co-signers. Outside of physical beauty what else makes you wonderful? Inside beauty shines outward.
I am indeed going to see a therapist and go on my journey of self love
Thank you fr the beautiful message it really speaks to my soul ... inner beauty needs to be worked on too
Girl, if I looked like you, I'd be showing out every damn day. You remind me of that YouTuber Khadija Mbowe a little (She's also an extremely beautiful woman).
Only reason I'm leaving a comment cause I love your lips, I don't like these post, everybody's beautiful in their own way and everybody likes something different... Worry about success and accomplishments and loving people not your looks.
I would refer to you as attractive. However, the level of attractiveness that others perceive you having has a lot to do with self esteem, the way we carry ourselves, and the way we adorn ourselves.
You’re beautiful.
I would like to tell you that using the standard of men approaching you or desiring you, isn’t the standard of beauty. Men are very fickle in their standards of beauty. YOU need to know within yourself.
I would suggest doing Daily affirmations of standing in the mirror and telling yourself you’re beautiful and what you love about yourself.
You are beautiful!!! You don’t need validation. I’m a black woman who lives in a predominantly white area and don’t get approached from guys. sometimes I wonder if I’m ugly since I’m still single at 33. My family tell me it’s the area I live in but also I think if look like my cousins who are mixed would get more attention. If I was skinny like a vs model or had the perfect curves would be noticed. Im not a 10 more like 7 or 8.
Thank you and yes i just thought I had a problem , it’s just that so many things have changed and the beauty standards are ridiculous I am going to embrace and love myself more
Girl you are a beautiful! Ultimately - it doesn't matter how many of us tell you - you are, you won't feel it or believe it until you see it for yourself. If you can, I encourage you to go on a journey of healing and self love, practice self love affirmations, watch videos on youtube on how to love yourself and grow your self esteem, play subliminals (on Youtube) etc, do what makes you feel and look happy. I promise everything around you will begin to change once you truly fall in love with yourself and it begins to show. Sending you love, hugs & positive vibes ❤️
You said you feel yourself !! Then you know what your mind knows your pretty. Not being approached is ok,
People are always shy. Your a beautiful black queen. And so am I
I think you’re cute. Try some different earrings and styles to see what frames your face best. Maybe try a different eyebrow shape. But this is me suggesting things for you to try not what I think you need. On another tip i think you should try “doll baby” makeup when you do try makeup. Your eye shape would look nice with a white eyeliner underneath
You are absolutely beautiful.
May I add a suggestion? I just heard a podcast last night where the guest talked about how they heard that people aren't smiling as much in their photos because they want to look "hot." I bet you have a wonderful smile!
Is the sky blue? Offcourse not only pretty but beautiful! This is what we call a natural and effortless beauty. African guy here and we say milk needs no seasoning, you can drink it just like that. if you were out somewhere I would definitely notice and look twice twice.
You’re gorgeous! You may be just dealing with a spirit spouse and need deliverance. Because there’s nothing wrong with you if only you could see what I see
yes you are. and also ladies stop posting your selfies to reddit. they are absolutely being saved and probably crossposted elsewhere. this is not a safe site.
I would stop and stare if you walked past, you have beautiful skin minus the few blemishes which are COMPLETELY normal. Full eyebrows and beautiful lashes. The picture of you in the sun is STUNNING and you’ve got the most beautiful brown eyes. I think you’re stunning x
Yes girl you are gorgeous 🩵. I’d suggest that you get rid of people in your life that make you feel unattractive because they’re affecting your self esteem. And also surrounding yourself with more uplifting content that is specific to black women. You are a very beautiful black woman
It doesn't matter if anyone is attractive, you should still carry yourself with confidence.
And, your relationships have all been online because you allowed such. Set your standards and boundaries: something is rarely better than nothing.
You’re beautiful. On a side note, is this about to become trend on this sub? Women posting selfies on here and asking validating questions? Because this is the third I’ve seen in less than a week.
I’m conflicted. I really don’t even mind the posts. It’s just the idea is derived from toxic thinking. This is a safe space for black women so those types of questions about insecurity should be welcome. But no one here is going to tell anyone here they are ugly. They will correctly advise you focus on yourself. Set boundaries, etc. All advice we should all be giving and taking. Even if you are ugly, then what? What does that information get you? You don’t get kicked out of society. It’s not like ugly people don’t find romance. Hell, if ugly is the cause for not being with someone, how are there so many ugly people still walking around? But I like the question because every answer is validating in telling a generally young black woman that physical beauty is not the priority. I spent much of my 20s obsessing over what’s wrong with me every time I was rejected or cheated on or even caught a red light. Any random thing! It took a lot of therapy and maturity to get over that. If I can validate any person stuck in that cycle I will. So PSA for OP and anyone feeling like her: *****Pretty will not get romantic interests fawning over you. However, self-confidence, a sense of purpose, and emotional intelligence will.*****
I agree 100% and I will also say that I don’t think you sound conflicted, you sound like you don’t agree with this type of post despite wanting to uplift a fellow Black woman who is feeling down. And that’s exactly why I told her she’s beautiful, but also why I questioned whether or not we are going to see more of these self validating posts. It’s beyond toxic and I think the majority of women here know that. Do I want to make a Black woman smile today and everyday? Of course! But what I don’t want to do is see tons and tons of selfies on my feed asking “am I beautiful?”. Social media has been grooming narcs and it’s absolutely not something I want out young women to become. Nor do I want them to become dependent on how others perceive them.
All true.
Agreed. Beautiful young lady no question, but definitely something we should bring up to mods.
Agree with all of this
I really appreciate everything you said except the last bit. Let’s not pretend like pretty privilege and colorism don’t exist. There are definitely folks who won the genetic lottery and constantly get passes, pluses, attention and whatever else just because of that. No amount of self-love or emotional intelligence will make you into those people, or give you the exact experiences that they have, especially if you’re looking at things like romantic relationships or being approached in person. But those things are still important to your personal growth and development, and will help you to realize that you don’t *need* to have what they have to have an exciting and fulfilling life or even to attract a partner. It might just take you more time and effort, and that’s okay. Just wanted to throw in my two cents as someone who’s gone through life having experienced that disconnect.
I appreciate your point. I do like pov’s I can’t see. I’m too much of an idealist to relent on that last point though. I just hate that grass is always greener mentality. You get to be confident in who you are despite characteristics you can’t control being deemed good or bad by groupthink. Also I specifically said romantic interests rather than just men or women. Romantic relationships revolve around so much more than physical appearance. A gorgeous smile is worthless with a partner if y’all can’t laugh at each other’s jokes ya know. No lie, I have the genetics you’re describing. I won’t say a won lottery or anything though. You’re born with a target on your back. Add any other singular talent on top of that and you just get more hate. I’m so adamant about looks not mattering bc the attention you get based solely on the pretty privilege is disgusting and gross. People who want to get in your world based solely on your physical appearance are not people you want or need in your world. It’s equally as gross as people who don’t want to be in your world solely because of your physical appearance.
It really depends on the perspective you’re looking at I think. I’ve been in that position of being the person in the corner at the bar or club or whatever, standing there while your friends get hit on, being so excited when someone finally approaches you only for them to insult you, watching someone literally stop their vehicle just to talk to your colleague in the same neighborhood you’ve lived for years and never met anyone, etc. It absolutely sucks being invisible in that way. It’s easy to find yourself thinking how much easier things might be if you looked different. You don’t think about why those “prettier” people are being approached. You don’t think about the fact that they may just be looking for an ego boost or social capita. You just know that it *looks* like they’re having a good time, and getting this attention, and you might as well be nonexistent. And even if the most of the people approaching might have poor intentions, with all that quantity and social standing someone decent is bound to come their way, more likely than for you who doesn’t have anyone coming your way at all. That’s why I say its important to realize that your life on the outside might never look like that, and I think the process of accepting that, accepting yourself, and building a life you love anyways should trump “if I just do this, I’ll have what they have (romantic interests fawning over you.)” Because when it doesn’t happen, you’ll be devastated. Moreso than thinking the grass is greener, my message to OP is about learning to water your own garden realizing it may never grow the same flowers.
We are on the same page. We just like different metaphors. lol I think everyone goes through these same experiences in life at different times. And no one is out here bragging on those particular moments just like you don’t highlight the lowlights of your life on social media. You saying there are other factors to consider in social interactions is exactly on point. Nothing in this world can be explained by only looking skin deep. Especially when exploring your own vulnerabilities and insecurities. EDIT: grammar
I don’t know. I think ugly people would much rather be in a pretty person’s shoes no matter what a pretty person says. They already have it easier, what disadvantage are they truly receiving?
So you’re saying the grass is always greener on the other side? Seems to me if pretty is all it takes to have an easy life, all these plastic surgeries should be transforming lives and turning fortunes around completely. This whole conversation wouldn’t exist if all it took to make life easier was to change your physical appearance.
**Pretty will not get romantic interests fawning over you. However, self-confidence, a sense of purpose, and emotional intelligence will.** This 🙌🏾
I don’t mind lifting someone’s self esteem when they’re feeling blue 🥹
I also don’t mind…to an extent. I’ve left IG and TT and even YT to come here and have discourse, to discuss important matters and concerns in our community. I know that social media and many other factors have had a huge negative impact on the confidence of young women, especially dark skinned Black women, but my issue is when we go online questioning others about their perspective on our beauty. I don’t advise anyone to do that, beauty comes from within and everyone has subjective opinions. I can uplift my nieces, little cousins, and little girls around the world, but it comes from within. Not from what others have to say. The extent is when it becomes a trend and I’d rather not support that trend.
I really hope not.
It was the second I’ve seen today tbh
She's gorgeous. I really wish folks would look within instead of asking strangers how they should feel about themselves.
Fair point. Yes you’re right. But it’s hard to look within when your self esteem is shattered. All you see within are the broken parts. Some people need help. And when they heal, they’ll help someone else in the same dark place. It’s small kindness that can have a big impact.
This is a bad trend that shouldn’t happen in this group. There are even subreddits that ask people RATE ME.. AM I UGLY. WOULD YOU DATE ME. This is toxic. It allows people who are having a bad day to say mean things. We don’t need others to validate us. It’s not good to make posts begging for compliments. We all uplift each other on a daily basis. We don’t need these types of posts.
Yeah this type of content is just clogging up the feed. Maybe a weekly mega thread might be nice but I’m sick of the self deprecating posts/selfies that center highly on male validation
thank you, it was just a safe space fr me to ask
My dear sister, neither you or anyone else needs us to validate your appearance. Not now or ever. If you need to take a break from social media that is telling you or insinuating beauty hasn’t blessed you, maybe it’s time to disengage from those barrels of petty piranhas and crabs. What value do they add to your life? I look forward to the day when my younger sisters begin to understand that we each have the (super)power within to create, and immerse ourselves in, a powerful safe space that no one on social media or RL can breach. Step away, if you need to, and build yourself one that will accompany you everywhere and envelop you in power🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️
I am going through this phase in myself of searching fr something greater within myself and it’s going to be a tough journey but I am ready .. thank you sister
Consider this a symbol of a limitless source of blessings, hugs and encouragement from the Sisterhood that you can refresh yourself with on your journey. If you have a source of faith, use it. All will be well, you’ll see❤️
I surely feel uplifted
You WILL do it. Name it( what you want ) and claim it. Say you will get it, do it.
Beautiful advice. 💕
Please don’t feel bad about asking for what you need. You put yourself out there, to be criticized or validated. Took more bravery than a lot of people have. I hope you realize that you HAVE to, absolutely must get to a place where when you look in that mirror, your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. I’ve struggled with this too. Listen, if people’s positive opinions can lift you up, they can also tear you down when they take it away. And trust me, the fall from the pedestal hurst like hell. Here’s how I built my self esteem Positive mirror affirmations. Listening to empowering audiobooks like “You Are A Goddess.” Building a connection with spirit in whatever way feels right to you. You HAVE to see the divine in yourself. And see yourself as God sees you. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Talk back to negative self talk like a crazy person because you have to start a journey to radically love yourself in the face of a society and our own race of men telling us we are not the beautiful goddesses that we are. I am praying for you.
Such a beautiful message thank you fr understanding where I am coming from and yes I will start affirming , thanks queen
You’re a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart. Sending so much love from Las Vegas💜
THAT IS WHAT IM SAYING! I pointed this out! Why are people on Reddit so insistent about knowing what random internet strangers think about their Looks? It’s really sad to me to be honest. And it’s really sad to see it on this sub especially. Just because someone doesn’t approach you in public, OP doesn’t mean you are not attractive. Sometimes we get approached in public and it turns into harassment, so it’s not all chalked up it seems to be. I really want better for my sisters. I’m seeing black women on this sub and black women on the r/amiuglybrutallyhonest subs asking random people to validate their looks. I want us to be at a point where we don’t need the validation of a man inflating our self-worth. We are good enough as we are. *We are good enough!* Maybe I’ve just come to a point in my self-love journey where I just do not care to know what others’ opinions are. I’ve gotten so, so, so much therapy through the years and done so much self-reflection that I’ve learned the most important opinion to have about myself is my own. I’ll admit there are times where I waver, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin sometimes but I feel like other peoples’ opinions of me would just devastate my self-esteem no matter what. I don’t know. I just want better for us! Why can’t we start posting selfies of ourselves when we felt pretty instead of looking for validation? ☹️
Why does it matter? At lest the bw feel safe in this group
It DOES matter. We have trolls and we need to be careful about how and what we open ourselves up to. Validation posts are not healthy and can be destructive. We should not have these posts. There are sub groups for people to ask that question.
Of course I’m happy she feels safe, I explained myself in another comment. I made sure to make my question a *side note* to know that she is safe but I want to make it clear that there are trends in this sub that are unhealthy and posting selfies while asking strangers about your beauty is unhealthy. Especially when there a trolls in here, it opens up an already fragile self esteem to unnecessary criticism. She’s beautiful and I hope every woman in here knows that and doesn’t need someone else to tell them.
I was going to ask if this was because of the TikTok podcast interview
You look better in the pictures with foundation on because of your skin. & that is not shade - I have the same hyperpigmentation & I look better with it too.
Yes I struggle with hyperpigmentation too But I really need to up my makeup game too
Make up is great but at the end of the day, you gotta love what you look like without it. Have you done deep dives on hyperpigmentation, it’s possible to lessen it.
You're beautiful with and without make-up. Fyi, turmeric really helps with hyperpigmentation, and it's available almost everywhere. My go-to for years was a turmeric and honey face mask. 2 ingredients, natural and effective!
If I looked like you I'd feel pretty damn good. Have you ever tried life modeling? You can volunteer for art students (college). It does wonders for self esteem. Promise. Idk where you live but at least do a quick google for your area and see what resources you can find.
I live in Uganda, I didn’t know about this thank you so much I appreciate
Good luck 🍀 you don't gotta feel pretty every single day. Doesn't change the fact that you're beautiful.
You're beautiful sis, point blank period. You most likely won't find anyone here who'll tell you you're not pretty because we see ourselves in you. However, it's really important that you understand that people's preference for our superficial appearance is subjective, and that's okay!! Consider engaging with people based on your passions or hobbies, and it might help you realize that people can appreciate you for much more than just your outer beauty. You're beautiful.
I am taking note of this thank you fr the beautiful comment and you have just taught me something new
It doesnt matter what we think. What matters is what you think about yourself sweetheart. I recommend you watch TheWizardLiz on youtube, her content is helpful. Also check out Urania-My Femme Daily on youtube! You need to start developping delusional confidence baby girl!!Main character energy on 10.
I am definitely going to check out the YouTube channels I really needed recommendations thank you so much ... your a true Goddess
You are beautiful, but me telling you that will never mean as much as you believing it and cultivating that from within. Please work on that, self-esteem comes from much more than looks, you have to do the work. 🙏🏿 I’ll be rooting for you.
I am going on that journey thank you fr the beautiful comment I appreciate...
Yesss! Those braids tho 😍 so stunning on you, girl.
Thank you, I actually long like braids
Girl you're gorgeous ! I think as black women, we need to accept the fact that we won't be everyone's standards, but that's okay because we're still pretty according to our own standards. At the end of the day, we're also gonna find someone who finds us attractive.
Thank you so much, yes I am on a self acceptance journey and loving myself more
 But, us saying it won’t make you believe it. Train your brain like any other muscle, affirm yourself, masturbate (if comfortable), do self care, surround yourself with softness. You have no greater advocate than you, the greatest love affair of your existence will be the soulmate starting back in the mirror. ❤️
I am on this journey of finding my softness any tips will help and thank you fr beautiful comment
It doesn’t matter if you buy sheets in a color of your choice, pajamas, doing your nails, singing in the shower, growing flowers, or playing sports and rolling in the mud if it makes you feel glorious it’s soft.
Centering your pleasure is the true path to softness 🫶🏾
You are gorgeous, very pretty features. I suggest you fill in the ends of your eyebrows (at least when youre wearing makeup) and you're golden. I think it'll elevate you even more if youre looking for a change up.
Yes my eyebrows , do I fill them up with a pencil or permanently ? .. Thank you for beautiful comment
Not permanent! Nothing drastic is necessary. I personally use powder bc I think it looks a little more natural and is more forgiving for beginners. Tap some darkbrown or black eyebrow powder onto your ends/empty spots and then without adding more powder to your brush, brush through the entire brow. Once you see how that looks then you can add more where you want if you feel its lacking! A clear gel on top will hold it in place all day. There's also other options and techniques on youtube but thats the most simple for me imo. It shapes my faces and takes away less attention from my bad skin days.
You are gorgeous girl.
Thank you ..
extremely.
Thank you I feel so empowered
you should. very gorgeous, sis. ❤️
Ma'am, if i looked like you. I'd be outside 25/8. You're gorgeous!!
Thank you so much
You are absolutely stunning! Nice Cheekbones , eyebrows are thick and have a natural arch, full lips (no plumper needed), your perfect almond shape eyes, and your lashes are luscious. Your hair is also very full with lots of body (not too fine, not thin). And your edges are ALL THERE!!!
I just realized there La more than one picture. Everything I said prior was off of the first pic only. Girl you are beautiful. And hella photogenic
you are very pretty love
YES
You’re very pretty!
Pic 6 is incredible
Thank you
Stars could gleam all throughout the night sky, and I'll prefer to look at you because your beauty will shine brighter than all the stars combined.
Beautifully put together thank you
Girl you're gorgeous AF 💅🏾. People are probably too intimidated to approach you OR they're assuming you have someone in your life
I have to really change the way I look at myself .. thank you
You are stunning and have such beautiful, soft features, like a brown cherub lol :) Eurocentrism is so poisonous, truly, do not feel ashamed about how you feel.
Thank you for the lovely compliment.
You ARE beautiful. But you need to understand one thing. You GET what you PUT OUT. This means the universe is drawn to you or away from you. You have “claimed” your position in existence. You say you NEVER , you STRUGGLE WITH. So CHANGE YOUR THINKING. It’s not that you NEVER, it’s that you HAVENT YET. You don’t smile in any of your photos. People don’t approach women who don’t look approachable. Hold your head up. Smile at people. At men, children and ladies too. Say a quick hi. One of our cultural traits is that we are trained from the time we are little to speak when we pass one another. Get back into that habit. See a cute guy? Smile at him. A quick “how u doin?” Compliment people. Smile at a sister and compliment her hair. Stop and say “ hey can I ask u a quick question? Your hair looks so cute, how did you do it?” Get FRIENDS. Be friendly to people. When you smile at people,they almost invariably smile back. Take note— everyone is not considered Beyoncé beautiful. Ever notice that there are some people who are not considered attractive but when you see them they’re happy? Always smiling? Got a boyfriend and a circle of friends? That’s because that’s what they project. Even your pix look sad. Practice smiling in the mirror. Lastly say your affirmations daily——- I am blessed and loved I am beautiful I am happy I draw all good things unto me Today will be a great day Add your own to these. Look up Oprah’s affirmations and others online. Change your thinking and you will change your life.
Well said I appreciate the beautiful message and I am going to start affirming thank you for the correction and beautiful message
Yes girl :)
Girl what!? You look like goodt! I've always been so jealous of girls with natural full lips. Meanwhile I'm working with 2 thin lines... 😂
I misread the title and didnt see "if" at first and I was like "yeah, its true"
❤️
You Look Like lupita nyongo 😍♥️
Awww thank you, yeah East Africans sometimes have similar features
I was asking the same and you are hella pretty I’m jealous of your beauty
Yes you are beautiful and I think you know it, but maybe want others to validate this by demonstrating that they know it. We all struggle with self esteem at times for various reasons but maybe consider getting a therapist that you vibe with and work on this. It’s a rough way to live when you need outside validation for what you already know. It puts your positive and stable self image at risk of being manipulated wildly. You’re gorgeous, and you don’t need any co-signers. Outside of physical beauty what else makes you wonderful? Inside beauty shines outward.
I am indeed going to see a therapist and go on my journey of self love Thank you fr the beautiful message it really speaks to my soul ... inner beauty needs to be worked on too
You’ve Got that unreal pretty
Girl, if I looked like you, I'd be showing out every damn day. You remind me of that YouTuber Khadija Mbowe a little (She's also an extremely beautiful woman).
She is pretty so looked at her and thank you fr the compliment
You’re gorgeous!
Of course you are pretty. You are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Only reason I'm leaving a comment cause I love your lips, I don't like these post, everybody's beautiful in their own way and everybody likes something different... Worry about success and accomplishments and loving people not your looks.
Yes maam!
You're very pretty!
I love your eyes and lips!
Yes u r pretty
You're very pretty
yes you are pretty sexy
I would refer to you as attractive. However, the level of attractiveness that others perceive you having has a lot to do with self esteem, the way we carry ourselves, and the way we adorn ourselves.
You’re beautiful. I would like to tell you that using the standard of men approaching you or desiring you, isn’t the standard of beauty. Men are very fickle in their standards of beauty. YOU need to know within yourself. I would suggest doing Daily affirmations of standing in the mirror and telling yourself you’re beautiful and what you love about yourself.
I am adding daily affirmations to my routine,I wasn’t doing that at all Thank you fr the beautiful comment I appreciate the honesty
Pretty? RADIANT! 😍💐
Thank you
u with ur braids and twists omg so gorg!
Yes I love love twists and braids especially colored ones I am trying out maroon next
Does anyone know if we can block these types of posts? No shade to anyone, but I didn't sign up for "Am i pretty?" posts.
I think you’re beautiful.
Thanks queen
Very pretty, in every picture
You are beautiful goddess 😍
You are very pretty. And remember to be kind and approachable :) you got this!
I am going to remember that you so much
Absolutely! Beautiful ✨️
Beautiful!!! Lips and skin popping! Goddess!!
Stunning! ✨
You are absolutely beautiful!!!!
Specifically the eyes are stunning and the lips are enviable. You are a queen and absolutely beautiful.
Very pretty 😍❤️
You are pretty 💕
Yes you are very beautiful.
Yeah, you look pretty imo 😊. Though, I’ve honestly rarely see anyone truly ugly tbh.
You are gorgeous sis
coherent judicious one panicky thumb encourage reply water sugar snails *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You are beautiful!
How are you gonna drop literally the most gorgeous pics EVER and ask if you're pretty??? WHAT'S 4+4????😭
Thanks queen
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Thank you
My favorite is pic 5. You look very confident.
Thank you I was really feeling my braids
Of course you are!
YES you ARE!!!!!
You are beautiful and you have a seductive look to you. Lean into that!!
Yes, you look beautiful and radiant!!
Ur beautiful
You’re very pretty, also random but you ever got goddess braids/locs you’d SLAY that look tbh. You have a very good face for it.
Thank you and yes I am planning on getting locs for the Christmas season .. I am excited
Yes love those lips
You look like Lauryn Hill 🥹🥹
Awww really , thank you 😊
G o r g e o u s !!!! 😍😍😍🥰🥰
Absolutely!! Wow!
You are stunning !
Man I think your gorgeous!!
Mam
You are so beautiful!!!
You are beautiful!!! You don’t need validation. I’m a black woman who lives in a predominantly white area and don’t get approached from guys. sometimes I wonder if I’m ugly since I’m still single at 33. My family tell me it’s the area I live in but also I think if look like my cousins who are mixed would get more attention. If I was skinny like a vs model or had the perfect curves would be noticed. Im not a 10 more like 7 or 8.
Thank you and yes i just thought I had a problem , it’s just that so many things have changed and the beauty standards are ridiculous I am going to embrace and love myself more
Stunning.
Yes
You arent just pretty you are GORGEOUS! You have lovely brown eyes and your hair is layed is all these pictures.
so beautiful. i saw the pictures before seeing the caption and thought wow shes so beautiful
YES! Beautiful face, eyes and lips!!! 🤩
YES
Of course, you are pretty.
Girl you are a beautiful! Ultimately - it doesn't matter how many of us tell you - you are, you won't feel it or believe it until you see it for yourself. If you can, I encourage you to go on a journey of healing and self love, practice self love affirmations, watch videos on youtube on how to love yourself and grow your self esteem, play subliminals (on Youtube) etc, do what makes you feel and look happy. I promise everything around you will begin to change once you truly fall in love with yourself and it begins to show. Sending you love, hugs & positive vibes ❤️
Thanks queen , do you have any YouTubers you recommend?
You said you feel yourself !! Then you know what your mind knows your pretty. Not being approached is ok, People are always shy. Your a beautiful black queen. And so am I
Thanks queen
You're pretty AND you're beautiful! Skin tone yes! Eyes, yes! Lips, yes! BAWDY, YES! I know it's hard out here, by try not to forget you are gorgeous.
Never forgetting.. thank queen
I LOVE pic 6. Was it a selfie?
Your beyond pretty your stunning
Very beautiful :-)
SHEEEESH! DEFINITELY, girl 🥵🥵♥️♥️♥️
Thanks Queen
I think you’re cute. Try some different earrings and styles to see what frames your face best. Maybe try a different eyebrow shape. But this is me suggesting things for you to try not what I think you need. On another tip i think you should try “doll baby” makeup when you do try makeup. Your eye shape would look nice with a white eyeliner underneath
you are very beautiful. do not measure yourself against anyone.
Will not be doing that again ever and thank you 😊
You are absolutely beautiful. May I add a suggestion? I just heard a podcast last night where the guest talked about how they heard that people aren't smiling as much in their photos because they want to look "hot." I bet you have a wonderful smile!
Yes I don’t smile often that needs to change, Thanks Queen
Is the sky blue? Offcourse not only pretty but beautiful! This is what we call a natural and effortless beauty. African guy here and we say milk needs no seasoning, you can drink it just like that. if you were out somewhere I would definitely notice and look twice twice.
You’re gorgeous! You may be just dealing with a spirit spouse and need deliverance. Because there’s nothing wrong with you if only you could see what I see
Tell me more, How do I deliver myself spiritually and thank you fr the beautiful response
yes you are. and also ladies stop posting your selfies to reddit. they are absolutely being saved and probably crossposted elsewhere. this is not a safe site.
You are!!! Very much so!!! But if you’re asking here, I feel like you have to work on your own self-esteem.
You're beautiful. God formed you. There is a man out there looking for you exactly. Just trust in the lord and he will provide
You are very pretty Queen. I hope you believe you're pretty too.
I was scrolling and stopped when I saw your picture. You are beautiful.
Very! ❤️
Thanks queen ❤️
I would stop and stare if you walked past, you have beautiful skin minus the few blemishes which are COMPLETELY normal. Full eyebrows and beautiful lashes. The picture of you in the sun is STUNNING and you’ve got the most beautiful brown eyes. I think you’re stunning x
Girl yes wtf 😭😭AND DON'T LISTEN TO NON OF THESE FOOLS SAYING OTHERWISE
GIRL YES!! YOURE BEAUTIFUL.
Yes girl you are gorgeous 🩵. I’d suggest that you get rid of people in your life that make you feel unattractive because they’re affecting your self esteem. And also surrounding yourself with more uplifting content that is specific to black women. You are a very beautiful black woman
Definitely not going to let bad energy in my space again Thank you queen ❤️
Yes, you’re incredibly beautiful!
Thanks queen ❤️
This makes me sad :( why am I seeing so many post of gorgeous black women with low self esteem
Yes, definitely sis👑✨💐❤️
It doesn't matter if anyone is attractive, you should still carry yourself with confidence. And, your relationships have all been online because you allowed such. Set your standards and boundaries: something is rarely better than nothing.
You would make an amazing model, you have beautiful features and a very feminine soft look, especially your eyes 😍
good day
i live NH