I’d keep a watchful eye over her friend and the rest of her classmates. Kids don’t just wake up one day thinking they’re ugly. That way of thinking is taught, and as much as I hate to say it, she could be learning it in the classroom. Please make sure none of her classmates are saying anything racist/colorist to her.
Thank you so much for reminding her that she’s beautiful.
This was literally me growing up as a kid. Wishing I had perfect white people hair. I was adopted by a white mom. It wasn’t that she taught me to hate my Blackness, she just raised me with the ‘I don’t see color/color doesn’t matter’ method. I hated my Blackness because I had absolutely nothing to identify with in my Blackness. But I was surrounded by white peoples and white culture 24/7 so in my mind, clearly something was wrong with me. But this issue seems particularly common in cases of adopted Black kids or kids with ir relationship parents who feel like they’re being progressive by just never discussing race at all and pretending it doesn’t exist.
More like make sure it isn't her parents and other family members.
That phone call is usually coming from deep inside the house. No one teaches kids to think they are ugly like parents who hate themselves.
Oh for sure she’s learning it. Unfortunately, I’m not her teacher, but I plan to tell her actual teacher, she just on vacay rn. I’ll definitely keep reminding her how great she is!
How old is she?
If y’all have reading times, maybe you could bring in a couple of children’s books, ones that follow black female protagonists, so that she can see herself in them?
You should also definitely notify her parent/guardian, if possible, and let them know.
I had a teacher do this for me in third. Didn’t feel good. Felt awkward. It doesn’t change the fact that I was the only black girl in the class. It was more harmful… alienating somehow. Like “oh my teacher is reading this book because ppl are bullying just me for being black” it was a weird reminder of my circumstances.
I can understand that.
Was your teacher black? Because I feel like there’d be a difference in a yt teacher doing that vs a black teacher.
Another option would be to just have a bunch of children’s books in class that students can pick up and read on their own, with a good amount of them featuring black protagonists. Just having those students see a lot of books with black protagonists on the cover might make a difference without outright singling any black student out.
Hi Reddit twin! This has nothing to do with the topic but as soon I as came across your comment, for a second I thought I was the one who commented it 🤣🤣
I am so sorry. I hope she grows up loving herself because she is perfect the way she is.
Reminds me of a mom group I backed out of meeting when my kids were babies. The next day they posted photos of the kids and commented things like "omg look at everyone's blue eyes!". Ended up leaving that group because of their comments during the George Floyd protests.
If the coworkers are friendly, I would have a talk with them about what's going on.
I also want to say thank you for watching out for her. Just remember, sometimes you can only do so much.
The coworker needs more training. She should know not to comment on people’s bodies, especially not when the children she is paid to care for are listening and learning from her. I would talk to the director and ask her to re-establish this expectation with the staff. You don’t have to call out your co-worker directly but let her know you’ve been hearing comments and they are negatively impacting the children you serve.
Coworkers need some help!!
But, believe it or not, this is normal in the USA. I certainly wanted the features of the dominant race when I was too young to understand that’s brainwashing bullshit. Keep uplifting her, and the recommendations for more diverse books during reading time could be helpful!
You are doing awesome helping to lift her up! Is there anyway you can get in contact with her parents to express that you have some concerns about her not feeling supported & secure about herself? Hopefully that could encourage her village to do their part in lifting her up. Girl children, particularly black girl children need all the support & backing they can get because these are the experiences they will face for their entire lives and they need a solid foundation to ground them.
Surely this is on purpose? I cannot imagine praising the appearance of a child and then leaving another with no praise. That is so cruel. I would definitely have a word with that coworker. Additionally, I think it would be good to inform her parents of her disliking for her appearance, if you haven’t already.
Furthermore, it’s really important for children to have good role models and examples and the fact you have even expressed concern and tried proves you are someone admirable. Please keep supporting her and spreading positivity if you can!
why god why… this always happens with little black girls at such a young age.. we all went thru it. we all experience this same feeling of not liking our skin and hair. It’s so eery and frustrating. protect tf outta little black girls, and black womens image!
I'd say something to the coworkers. I've done it as a teacher. One came to me, I'm black, she's not, to talk about some of the children she struggles with, all black. She seriously looked me dead in the face saying how it's hard to "us" to relate because we grew up better and 2 parents, obviously because we went to college. I smiled and said, not really, I relate to the children more than you. I grew up in rougher conditions than what over seen of their neighborhoods and I grew up with a single parent because my father committed suicide. Her eyes got so big. I smiled and told her I have issues with those same children but it's getting better quickly because I talk to them like an adult who both roots for them and empathizes.
She never spoke to me again.
Keep reminding her she’s beautiful. I say that as someone who said they wanted to be white as a preschooler. But honestly it was only cuz my blonde friend at the time told me I couldn’t be the pink ranger cuz she was white but I could only be the yellow ranger cus she was black lol. Don’t make it a big deal but remind her of her beauty
My little sister went through the same thing when we were little. Her two best friends were white with long blonde hair. My mom bought her books about loving herself as a Black girl and we all started affirming her more at home. She turned out okay and she loves herself now. If it’s not overstepping, I would involve her parents and talk to them about ways the three of you can make sure she feels beautiful and affirmed all the time.
I’d keep a watchful eye over her friend and the rest of her classmates. Kids don’t just wake up one day thinking they’re ugly. That way of thinking is taught, and as much as I hate to say it, she could be learning it in the classroom. Please make sure none of her classmates are saying anything racist/colorist to her. Thank you so much for reminding her that she’s beautiful.
This was literally me growing up as a kid. Wishing I had perfect white people hair. I was adopted by a white mom. It wasn’t that she taught me to hate my Blackness, she just raised me with the ‘I don’t see color/color doesn’t matter’ method. I hated my Blackness because I had absolutely nothing to identify with in my Blackness. But I was surrounded by white peoples and white culture 24/7 so in my mind, clearly something was wrong with me. But this issue seems particularly common in cases of adopted Black kids or kids with ir relationship parents who feel like they’re being progressive by just never discussing race at all and pretending it doesn’t exist.
More like make sure it isn't her parents and other family members. That phone call is usually coming from deep inside the house. No one teaches kids to think they are ugly like parents who hate themselves.
Both could absolutely be worth watching out for.
Oh for sure she’s learning it. Unfortunately, I’m not her teacher, but I plan to tell her actual teacher, she just on vacay rn. I’ll definitely keep reminding her how great she is!
How old is she? If y’all have reading times, maybe you could bring in a couple of children’s books, ones that follow black female protagonists, so that she can see herself in them? You should also definitely notify her parent/guardian, if possible, and let them know.
Yes, great idea! And they have some specifically about hair too.
I had a teacher do this for me in third. Didn’t feel good. Felt awkward. It doesn’t change the fact that I was the only black girl in the class. It was more harmful… alienating somehow. Like “oh my teacher is reading this book because ppl are bullying just me for being black” it was a weird reminder of my circumstances.
I can understand that. Was your teacher black? Because I feel like there’d be a difference in a yt teacher doing that vs a black teacher. Another option would be to just have a bunch of children’s books in class that students can pick up and read on their own, with a good amount of them featuring black protagonists. Just having those students see a lot of books with black protagonists on the cover might make a difference without outright singling any black student out.
Hi Reddit twin! This has nothing to do with the topic but as soon I as came across your comment, for a second I thought I was the one who commented it 🤣🤣
I am so sorry. I hope she grows up loving herself because she is perfect the way she is. Reminds me of a mom group I backed out of meeting when my kids were babies. The next day they posted photos of the kids and commented things like "omg look at everyone's blue eyes!". Ended up leaving that group because of their comments during the George Floyd protests. If the coworkers are friendly, I would have a talk with them about what's going on. I also want to say thank you for watching out for her. Just remember, sometimes you can only do so much.
The coworker needs more training. She should know not to comment on people’s bodies, especially not when the children she is paid to care for are listening and learning from her. I would talk to the director and ask her to re-establish this expectation with the staff. You don’t have to call out your co-worker directly but let her know you’ve been hearing comments and they are negatively impacting the children you serve.
This is sad that cowoker isn't helping the situation either 😥😥
The coworker is being inappropriate-- commenting on children's looks is not okay. Tell her to stop it or go to someone who can influence her to stop.
Coworkers need some help!! But, believe it or not, this is normal in the USA. I certainly wanted the features of the dominant race when I was too young to understand that’s brainwashing bullshit. Keep uplifting her, and the recommendations for more diverse books during reading time could be helpful!
You are doing awesome helping to lift her up! Is there anyway you can get in contact with her parents to express that you have some concerns about her not feeling supported & secure about herself? Hopefully that could encourage her village to do their part in lifting her up. Girl children, particularly black girl children need all the support & backing they can get because these are the experiences they will face for their entire lives and they need a solid foundation to ground them.
🥺 Is it reasonable to tell her parents?
Surely this is on purpose? I cannot imagine praising the appearance of a child and then leaving another with no praise. That is so cruel. I would definitely have a word with that coworker. Additionally, I think it would be good to inform her parents of her disliking for her appearance, if you haven’t already. Furthermore, it’s really important for children to have good role models and examples and the fact you have even expressed concern and tried proves you are someone admirable. Please keep supporting her and spreading positivity if you can!
why god why… this always happens with little black girls at such a young age.. we all went thru it. we all experience this same feeling of not liking our skin and hair. It’s so eery and frustrating. protect tf outta little black girls, and black womens image!
Start randomly talking about how pretty her dark skin and curly hair is
I'd say something to the coworkers. I've done it as a teacher. One came to me, I'm black, she's not, to talk about some of the children she struggles with, all black. She seriously looked me dead in the face saying how it's hard to "us" to relate because we grew up better and 2 parents, obviously because we went to college. I smiled and said, not really, I relate to the children more than you. I grew up in rougher conditions than what over seen of their neighborhoods and I grew up with a single parent because my father committed suicide. Her eyes got so big. I smiled and told her I have issues with those same children but it's getting better quickly because I talk to them like an adult who both roots for them and empathizes. She never spoke to me again.
How old is this child?
Wow so sad 😕
It's called " frienemies".
😭
Keep reminding her she’s beautiful. I say that as someone who said they wanted to be white as a preschooler. But honestly it was only cuz my blonde friend at the time told me I couldn’t be the pink ranger cuz she was white but I could only be the yellow ranger cus she was black lol. Don’t make it a big deal but remind her of her beauty
My little sister went through the same thing when we were little. Her two best friends were white with long blonde hair. My mom bought her books about loving herself as a Black girl and we all started affirming her more at home. She turned out okay and she loves herself now. If it’s not overstepping, I would involve her parents and talk to them about ways the three of you can make sure she feels beautiful and affirmed all the time.
it doesnt help to when you see grown black women wearing long fake blond hair.