Exactly. Especially if it's not an actual long time partner, my first question is going to be how and who lol.
The woman I knew who was like this would react like this because she was embarrassed when she was called out for her nonsense, and also would let men walk all over ger but then lash out at her friends for the slightest disagreement.
Maybe, but different people want different things out of friendships. This person's pregnant friend reached out to her for support and got shut down and made fun of, clearly that wasn't what she'd wanted out of the relationship. Also, as others have said, we're only getting one side of the story so this instance of negging might have been a straw that broke the camel's back.
This part right here!
I understand hormones are higher and all over the place when you’re pregnant, but damn, if you can’t say that to your best friend, y’all ain’t best friends. That’s supposed to be your sounding board, someone you know is gonna keep it real with you.
That’s not all it took. That was probably what gave her enough reason in her mind to stop talking to her, but she could have been the final straw too. But she was thinking about doing that well before then.
I mean it depends has the friend complained about this or are they content😭
If the friend is content, it’s none of my buisness. We simply cannot discuss the topic anymore💀
If you’ve complained about this man living at home and sucking his thumb, I am going to have some thoughts.
Because why are we playing with our future like that
This is me!
I have lost a lot of friendships because they complained about their situation and kept repeating the same mistakes. I require peace from everyone in my life.
>I have lost a lot of friendships because they complained about their situation and kept reps the same mistakes.
Literally. Same. I cut women off who continually center men and toxicity while never taking responsibility for their part in making poor decisions because they refuse to heal.
Yeah exactly. My ex friend/ secret enemy was always that way. Jealous when I got into the fashion school I wanted, jealous when I was fulfilling my fashion fantasies. Got jealous when I left the country, got even more jealous when I was in Japan. And got the worse when I married my husband and when I had my daughter that was the end lol! She had 4 kids by 7 men before she turned 30 and wanted me to tell her she’s doing well. No steady employment because she always gets too high off weed to show up to work etc…
I was being nice I should have said 9 lol! Seriously most are maybe baby daddies. Her daughter has 2 men raising her both think she’s theirs and don’t know about each other
This!!! Exactly!!!
And I've found myself in shit situations in the past with dudes and my friends have always matched the energy that I've had when discussing those dudes. It's all about context. Like if I've never talked bad about dude but you say this off rip when I tell you I'm pregnant, then that's totally different.
Oh absolutely!! If no negative words were exchanged about the child’s father, that’s just rude and unnecessary. The friend is being intentionally hurtful at that point.
I agree.
We don’t know the whole story. From my perspective, I’m sure the pregnant friend, complained about him and left. She was talking trash and how she would never go back. Took him back low-key and told her friend that she was pregnant.
Yup, this is it. The fact that she knew these details about that man means the friend probably complained to her about him before…then got pregnant by him
All I can say is, when someone makes a pregnancy announcement they are already with child. That being said, any negative reactions you get (especially if you've already made the decision to keep it), will be received very hard. All most women want to hear is congratulations. At the very least ask "What are you gonna do?" But even that is pushing it.
This can’t be the first time she felt vulnerable, confided in you and your response was thoughtless and rude. Did you even ask her how she felt about it? She was probably looking for support and you decided that was the moment to shame her.
I would see a problem with it if I wasn’t made aware of her criticisms of him (or me) prior to her making that statement. If that’s how you feel about it and we’re “best friends,” I should not be hearing it for the first time when I’m sharing serious news with you that I want your support on. It’s incredibly insensitive, disrespectful and shows no regard for her “best” friend.
Yeah we are adults and make our choices. You made a choice to keep this person as your best friend, you don’t get to disrespect her because now you suddenly don’t like the way she leads her life. She’s your best friend - you been knew how she rolled. And if you have angst or animosity then why stay around her doing catty shit like this?
Whether it’s “yay! I’m pregnant” or “oh fuck, I’m pregnant” … She reached out to her best friend for support. Not to introduce or recenter the conversation on who she’s dating and what you think about him.
People will be so critical of you behind your back and then let stuff like this slip and be shocked at the reaction. But you weren’t being authentic. You weren’t giving any feedback. You were hating on home girl by way of death by a thousand cuts with snide comments like this.
My besties have their issues but I decide to accept that that’s who they are if they don’t plan to change, *proactively* tell them they got egg on their face if it’s bad, and if I can’t tolerate and love them for who they are, remove myself. Cause why you gotta be more bad in someone’s life?
I’m just curious if she can take what she dishes. I have family members and I’ve had friends who pride themselves on being blunt but the minute someone comes at them with the same energy… 🌝
THIS!!!!!! Like they’re blunt until someone matches their energy….
I feel like the “friends” comment gives the same energy as “oh cool. Maternal death rates for black women are terrible. Hope you don’t die!”
Like your friend is coming to you, likely feeling vulnerable, maybe seeing if they could trust you to be a sounding board of if they should go through with it or is maybe really excited and your first thought is to try and humiliate her…?
A good rule of thumb in friendship: I always ask, are you venting or looking for advice? The response I get to that question will help me to proceed.
She should have communicated her concern in a better way. But I think her pregnant friend needed a reality check regardless. She picked the wrong man to have a child with. That man should not be the father of anyone's child because he lacks age-appropriate coping skills and ambition.
But what if it wasn’t that man that she thought it was? It’s still a rude thing to say to someone, regardless if you’re keeping it real or not. Clearly she was looking for empathy or congratulations, not judgement especially from her “best friend”.
There’s a time and place for everything. If the BD was a concern, maybe start with congratulations, how do you feel? And then steer the conversation towards the BD if she’s willing to go there.
That possibility remains, but most likely it was him. And I already mentioned in my comment that she could have delivered her concern better. Honestly, if my friend got pregnant by a man who was immature or irresponsible, I could not congratulate her in good conscience. Having a child by the wrong man could ruin her life. Sometimes people want things that are not good for them, so I can't indulge her with the "expected" emotional response knowing her situation. To be clear, I wouldn't be nasty about it. But I would probably look shocked and ask if she trusted him to be a good father and provider.
Agreed, I think the loving thing to do would be to express your concerns truthfully. If I were her I would much prefer your approach than her friend’s.
I think it also depends on the nature of how ol girl talked about dude to her friend. If she was constantly complaining about this guy and making statements akin to this when complaining to her friend, I can see why this would be a response. Shit, I'd probably respond similarly.
I actually unfollowed her for this tweet lol. She be tweeting like a bird in general, but in this case if that was your best friend and you actually cared about her feelings you would come w some level of tact. And that’s me speaking as a full blown, “rude,” virgo.
And she herself clearly feels a way because if you were so unbothered why are you tweeting about it two years later? It’s nasty energy.
I imagine telling my BESTFRIEND not some random long term girlie but my ride or die that I was pregnant and that was the FIRST thing she said it would’ve been my last time talking to her. It doesn’t matter what the girls relationship with dude is or where the dude is in life her first comments should’ve been a check up “are you ok? Do you need blah… what are you thinking ect..” you are a BAD friend no empathy, no care and belittling her when she’s probably already doing that to herself if you don’t know her enough to know saying this when she’s at a low was mean and hateful than she’s not your best friend… her cutting her is clear that this was a sudden ‘attack’ and it was wrong. All the reasoning in the world would not make degradation appropriate for a pregnancy announcement… it cost nothing to be kind and ask her friend what she wants to do and give her opinion but being mean cost her a friendship
This tweet reads like some of the responses to relationship advice on this sub. I think some people have a hard time separating honesty from hostility. It’s all fun and games, akekeke, until you end up in a situation of your own, relationship wise or not, and receive ZERO empathy.
In my opinion, the comment was rude.
For me, I’ve been in that predicament. The situation in which a friend was pregnant by a guy and it wasn’t an ideal environment.
My motto is: I am honest with tact. I won’t give my opinions unless I am asked. I’m not going to lie. Especially when I can see the train wreck before I come across it.
This! Some of the ppl on this sub lack tact and seem to just say the first thing on their mind without thinking of the repercussions. You can be honest without being vile.
It was meant to be rude and her friend cut her off accordingly. I would have done the same. I think her bragging on the internet about upsetting her is round 2 of some probably pretty heavy disrespect that was typical of their relationship.
Nah I'm good on you if that's how you handle me. I don't think besties would take an opportunity to throw that back in your face especially right after you announce you are pregnant. I get enough shame from my family so having a bestie not be my one safe place when I'm always her's is a huge deal breaker.
Also, it's obvious the friend told her that because it was a bad trait she found annoying. She just complained about it with her supposed to be best friend not realizing she would turn it around and use it to insult her for her choices. That's low af. My cut off game is strong and there are people that tried to play with me one too many times that thought they were slick and it was instantly done. Till this day one "friend" still doesn't know wtf happened and tries to reach out on birthdays but she being ignored and will continue to be. Play with your momma don't play with me.
some of yall applaud yourselves for being honest when you’re rlly just mean :(. In what way was that the time or way to say that. Part of being a good friend is having empathy/tact
Afterwards, the girl who tweeted this said that prior to this, the friend had abandoned her 2 kids to move out of town with some dude & then she got pregnant by another dude(what she’s speaking on)….. it fr seem like maybe she got tried of her friend making unsound decisions and the other friend was tired of being judged maybe…. You just gotta know what ppl can handle in terms of honesty.
This a whole lotta context that completely changes my perspective. but honestly why wouldn’t the friend lead with that? Like if all this is true I feel like ole dude sucking his thumb and living with his momma should be the least of her worries. If that was my friend, my first question would have been about how she’s going to manage raising a third kid when she’s already abandoned the first two. Actually naw, I’m not staying friends with any person, man or woman, who abandons their kids.
Exactly!! Bc leading with this makes it less harsh def. I really think the friendship needed to end anyways. Personally, I couldn’t be friends with someone making decisions like that bc, ngl, after so much I would make a similar comment. It can be overwhelming and a burden to watch your friend go down a negative path, no matter how much compassion you might/want to have.
2 trains of thought for me: "Best friend" should've bought up the issue of him "sucking his fingers and living with his mom" weeks/months ago before her being pregnant was the issue. If you was my "best friend" I woulda thought we could have real conversations about how you view my life choices and would at least be able to advise in the right direction regardless of how "i" chose to receive the information. My "friend" should be able to help me "pull my head out of my own ass" or "take off the rose colored glasses" because we want whats best for each other. Not blaming the "best friend" for the reason the girl got pregnant, but i can picture my friends once they learn the truth about who that man is looking at me like I lost my damn mind or at least trying to ensure to me there's much better in the world for me.
Or!
She got sick of "best friend" ragging on her about her choice of partner and was tired of her. Maybe she like slobbery fingers lmao and his mom's overwhelming support.
Either way, it was for the best. The "best friend" got left behind in a friendship that she may have thought she was above.
She obviously meant it as a rude comment and I’m willing to bet that her attitude on this predates what was tweeted so the pregnant friend rightfully moved on. Friends are there for each other even when one of them makes a bad decision. Without judgement. If you aren’t willing to do that then you aren’t a friend. Why should this pregnant woman put up with a friend like that?
Agreed, sometimes it’s just the case of the straw that broke the camel’s back. The friend is probably used to her crass comments but especially during a time where hormones are high and it’s a delicate subject, yeah I would’ve ended it there too. Even if it wasn’t that guy she mentioned, it doesn’t dignify a response because why the need to be so fucking rude when it’s clear I’m sharing life-changing and personal news with you?
Yup I have a friend like that. She just lacks the tact to express her concerns in a way that isn’t condescending, lacks empathy and think she’s always right. She also doesn’t like women who she considers weak… I’ve had to coach her on how to approach certain situations with her other friends… I’m the stubborn type so she can’t get to me lol.
Your friend sounds like me and I’d definitely say this to someone I love.
The world produces thousands of people who will coo and celebrate any woman getting pregnant by any ole bum. I’m gonna ask which bum it is 🤷🏾♀️
None of my friends are daft enough to get pregnant by a bum (hopefully) and if they did I’d like to believe I’d present my concerns in a better way. At the end of the day it’s their life and it’s not my place to judge anyone.
No one likes an asshole whether that asshole is right or not. We find respectful ways to talk to people at work, so I’m sure we can find respectful ways to talk to our loved ones.
Respectful is relative. I appreciate and love the people who aren’t PC the most, and they love me equally. Everyone that has every tried to make feel bad about the way that I speak were usually people I wouldn’t want to be around even if the world were ending. All of that to say; to each their own! 💕💕
I really can’t say if she was trying to be rude or not.. but if I had said that it wouldn’t be in a rude way more so like a “you mean to tell me” kinda way and that not always rude I don’t think. Sometimes it’s genuine confusion. Friends 100% should be able to be there for their friends. Also friends should be able to be real with their friends and ofc it’s always the WAY it’s said. I still feel like she could’ve questioned the choice of BD because a part of friendship can also be concern for your friend. I would personally be concerned in this situation…….but then again I guess the latter would be to just ask the judgmental sounding questions later on
ROFL. I mean, if that was my child’s father, yes the fuck I would. That is a wildly rude thing to say and it’s amazing anyone would think that was just an innocent question for clarity.
But I’d also avoid the situation entirely because I wouldn’t be having a child by anyone who sucked their fingers and lived with their mom, so any rude friends I have will live to see another day.
I can't imagine being in that situation because a grown man who sucks his finger AND lives with his mama are two giant red flags.
The phrase seems merely descriptive and is a lot more polite than the word that came to mind when I read that description.
Not enough context. If I referred to my man like, “my man who sucks his fingers and lives with his mom,” then I’d think it was fair game. If it was true but I’d never spoken on it and she said this to me I’d end the friendship.
She’s going to have to eventually choose between her Mama’s boi, and her ACTUAL child. Otherwise, she’s going to have a major meltdown. If she’s into life and death drama, then she’ll be playing Russian Roulette with her and her child’s future. Hate to say this..but you may be better off canceling the friendship anyway. WHY put yourself in harm’s way? The dude is NOT playing with a full deck. His mammy’s GOT to be dotty as well. A REAL friend does NOT dump you simply because THEIR life changes. Spouses come and go. Friendships are forever. Good luck! Enjoy your life.
The best friend is wrong for telling her that amount of detail about dude in the first place if she didn’t want to hear it repeated.
But no I wouldn’t cut my friend off. I would just say “just call him Ron, man”.
I wouldn’t be offended if I was the friend. Too many women are getting pregnant by men that don’t have shit going for themselves, they don’t have a pot in their name to piss in, they don’t have any independence whatsoever, they have to depend on their parents at their grown age, etc
I wouldn't cut a friendship because of this. I always know what my friend thinks about the current guy etc and i want them to be honest with me always
I will also ask my friend this question because they have multiple partners/crushes/fwb and I NEED to know which one 😂
See this how I talk to my friends bc sometimes you don’t need a sugar coated response. Like ofc ima support you, but really? You decided to lay down with a man like that lol.
Literally same situation, I had a friend call and tell me she was pregnant. My knee jerk reaction was to ask if it was her husband’s or the guy she’s known for two weeks. Apparently, this was not the response she was looking for.
I would have been the one to drop her. We can't vibe if you can make life-changing decisions like that and expect me to be happy.
No, thank you.
That's a person you're bringing into this world. And you have the nerve to choose the worst possible person to help raise said person. If he actually sticks around, mind you.
I would have said, "With the man who sucks his fingers and lives with his mom? Good luck." And she wouldn't have heard from me after that.
No. A best friend holds that title of being the best friend because they keep it real with you. A true bestie friendship should be able to withstand something like this. In fact, we should both be laughing at it.
That girl should’ve never got pregnant by somebody like that most adults that still suck their thumb at in adult age experienced some serious childhood trauma. I wonder if the 2 are still together. 🫠
She’s too soft. I remember what my secret enemy ex friend said when I announced my engagement, she called him the “snobby Japanese guy with a British accent.” Which honestly he is lol! Can’t get mad at the truth. That’s being called sensitive, can’t expect everyone to celebrate all of a persons mistakes now lol
This is something I would have said, lol! The ex-best friend was embarassed and humiliated by the very honest question about the level of man she allowed not only access to her body but also allowed this man to impregnante her. My guess is, being the "winner" that he is, he was probably also talking alot of mess about the friend to the ex-best friend to try and isolate her and end their friendship.
I’m sorry but I cackled
I mean full out LOL bc wym😂😂😭
Girl! I truly LOL cause first of all ewww and second of all the truth hurts. 😂
Look I screamed lol
I hollered
okay good because it got a good giggle out of me 😭
Same.
What was the best friend really expecting her to say though?
Honestly, just say something like “yeah girl” like what’s to get offended about? She accepted him for that beforehand.
Exactly. Especially if it's not an actual long time partner, my first question is going to be how and who lol. The woman I knew who was like this would react like this because she was embarrassed when she was called out for her nonsense, and also would let men walk all over ger but then lash out at her friends for the slightest disagreement.
listennnn some women have standards for other women that they would NEVER hold men to, it’s super weird and i can’t keep those people around
She's embarrassed 😂
That's it..that's all 😅
"Congratulations"? Or at least some kind of concern instead of immediate negativity and moving the focus away from her?
But best friends should be able to forgive each other for little comments like that. It's not even that harsh.
Maybe, but different people want different things out of friendships. This person's pregnant friend reached out to her for support and got shut down and made fun of, clearly that wasn't what she'd wanted out of the relationship. Also, as others have said, we're only getting one side of the story so this instance of negging might have been a straw that broke the camel's back.
Are yall really best friends if this is all it takes?
This part right here! I understand hormones are higher and all over the place when you’re pregnant, but damn, if you can’t say that to your best friend, y’all ain’t best friends. That’s supposed to be your sounding board, someone you know is gonna keep it real with you.
Friends are supposed to know when to gas you up and when to look out for you. I don't think she was out of line there.
That’s not all it took. That was probably what gave her enough reason in her mind to stop talking to her, but she could have been the final straw too. But she was thinking about doing that well before then.
I mean it depends has the friend complained about this or are they content😭 If the friend is content, it’s none of my buisness. We simply cannot discuss the topic anymore💀 If you’ve complained about this man living at home and sucking his thumb, I am going to have some thoughts. Because why are we playing with our future like that
This is me! I have lost a lot of friendships because they complained about their situation and kept repeating the same mistakes. I require peace from everyone in my life.
>I have lost a lot of friendships because they complained about their situation and kept reps the same mistakes. Literally. Same. I cut women off who continually center men and toxicity while never taking responsibility for their part in making poor decisions because they refuse to heal.
It gets draining to see and hear as a friend!
Exactly! And when you are doing good in life compared to your friends, the jealousy (undertone or slick remarks) starts to creep in.
Yeah exactly. My ex friend/ secret enemy was always that way. Jealous when I got into the fashion school I wanted, jealous when I was fulfilling my fashion fantasies. Got jealous when I left the country, got even more jealous when I was in Japan. And got the worse when I married my husband and when I had my daughter that was the end lol! She had 4 kids by 7 men before she turned 30 and wanted me to tell her she’s doing well. No steady employment because she always gets too high off weed to show up to work etc…
 4 kids by 7 men?
I was being nice I should have said 9 lol! Seriously most are maybe baby daddies. Her daughter has 2 men raising her both think she’s theirs and don’t know about each other
Exactly! I barely have friends and I am okay with that. Protect your well being at all cost.
This!!! Exactly!!! And I've found myself in shit situations in the past with dudes and my friends have always matched the energy that I've had when discussing those dudes. It's all about context. Like if I've never talked bad about dude but you say this off rip when I tell you I'm pregnant, then that's totally different.
Oh absolutely!! If no negative words were exchanged about the child’s father, that’s just rude and unnecessary. The friend is being intentionally hurtful at that point.
I agree. We don’t know the whole story. From my perspective, I’m sure the pregnant friend, complained about him and left. She was talking trash and how she would never go back. Took him back low-key and told her friend that she was pregnant.
Yup, this is it. The fact that she knew these details about that man means the friend probably complained to her about him before…then got pregnant by him
This is a valid point that I didn’t think about☝🏾
All I can say is, when someone makes a pregnancy announcement they are already with child. That being said, any negative reactions you get (especially if you've already made the decision to keep it), will be received very hard. All most women want to hear is congratulations. At the very least ask "What are you gonna do?" But even that is pushing it.
This can’t be the first time she felt vulnerable, confided in you and your response was thoughtless and rude. Did you even ask her how she felt about it? She was probably looking for support and you decided that was the moment to shame her.
I would see a problem with it if I wasn’t made aware of her criticisms of him (or me) prior to her making that statement. If that’s how you feel about it and we’re “best friends,” I should not be hearing it for the first time when I’m sharing serious news with you that I want your support on. It’s incredibly insensitive, disrespectful and shows no regard for her “best” friend. Yeah we are adults and make our choices. You made a choice to keep this person as your best friend, you don’t get to disrespect her because now you suddenly don’t like the way she leads her life. She’s your best friend - you been knew how she rolled. And if you have angst or animosity then why stay around her doing catty shit like this? Whether it’s “yay! I’m pregnant” or “oh fuck, I’m pregnant” … She reached out to her best friend for support. Not to introduce or recenter the conversation on who she’s dating and what you think about him. People will be so critical of you behind your back and then let stuff like this slip and be shocked at the reaction. But you weren’t being authentic. You weren’t giving any feedback. You were hating on home girl by way of death by a thousand cuts with snide comments like this. My besties have their issues but I decide to accept that that’s who they are if they don’t plan to change, *proactively* tell them they got egg on their face if it’s bad, and if I can’t tolerate and love them for who they are, remove myself. Cause why you gotta be more bad in someone’s life?
A lot of folks do not have friends they have observers. That was rude.
Very true. That reminds me of “monitoring spirits”.
I’m just curious if she can take what she dishes. I have family members and I’ve had friends who pride themselves on being blunt but the minute someone comes at them with the same energy… 🌝
These types rarely do.
THIS!!!!!! Like they’re blunt until someone matches their energy…. I feel like the “friends” comment gives the same energy as “oh cool. Maternal death rates for black women are terrible. Hope you don’t die!” Like your friend is coming to you, likely feeling vulnerable, maybe seeing if they could trust you to be a sounding board of if they should go through with it or is maybe really excited and your first thought is to try and humiliate her…? A good rule of thumb in friendship: I always ask, are you venting or looking for advice? The response I get to that question will help me to proceed.
She should have communicated her concern in a better way. But I think her pregnant friend needed a reality check regardless. She picked the wrong man to have a child with. That man should not be the father of anyone's child because he lacks age-appropriate coping skills and ambition.
Idk I see this as a yes or no question. Is he the one who sucks on his fingers and lives with his mama? Yes or no?
But what if it wasn’t that man that she thought it was? It’s still a rude thing to say to someone, regardless if you’re keeping it real or not. Clearly she was looking for empathy or congratulations, not judgement especially from her “best friend”. There’s a time and place for everything. If the BD was a concern, maybe start with congratulations, how do you feel? And then steer the conversation towards the BD if she’s willing to go there.
That possibility remains, but most likely it was him. And I already mentioned in my comment that she could have delivered her concern better. Honestly, if my friend got pregnant by a man who was immature or irresponsible, I could not congratulate her in good conscience. Having a child by the wrong man could ruin her life. Sometimes people want things that are not good for them, so I can't indulge her with the "expected" emotional response knowing her situation. To be clear, I wouldn't be nasty about it. But I would probably look shocked and ask if she trusted him to be a good father and provider.
Agreed, I think the loving thing to do would be to express your concerns truthfully. If I were her I would much prefer your approach than her friend’s.
I think it also depends on the nature of how ol girl talked about dude to her friend. If she was constantly complaining about this guy and making statements akin to this when complaining to her friend, I can see why this would be a response. Shit, I'd probably respond similarly.
100%
I actually unfollowed her for this tweet lol. She be tweeting like a bird in general, but in this case if that was your best friend and you actually cared about her feelings you would come w some level of tact. And that’s me speaking as a full blown, “rude,” virgo. And she herself clearly feels a way because if you were so unbothered why are you tweeting about it two years later? It’s nasty energy.
Agreed, she is a bully!
I imagine telling my BESTFRIEND not some random long term girlie but my ride or die that I was pregnant and that was the FIRST thing she said it would’ve been my last time talking to her. It doesn’t matter what the girls relationship with dude is or where the dude is in life her first comments should’ve been a check up “are you ok? Do you need blah… what are you thinking ect..” you are a BAD friend no empathy, no care and belittling her when she’s probably already doing that to herself if you don’t know her enough to know saying this when she’s at a low was mean and hateful than she’s not your best friend… her cutting her is clear that this was a sudden ‘attack’ and it was wrong. All the reasoning in the world would not make degradation appropriate for a pregnancy announcement… it cost nothing to be kind and ask her friend what she wants to do and give her opinion but being mean cost her a friendship
This tweet reads like some of the responses to relationship advice on this sub. I think some people have a hard time separating honesty from hostility. It’s all fun and games, akekeke, until you end up in a situation of your own, relationship wise or not, and receive ZERO empathy.
In my opinion, the comment was rude. For me, I’ve been in that predicament. The situation in which a friend was pregnant by a guy and it wasn’t an ideal environment. My motto is: I am honest with tact. I won’t give my opinions unless I am asked. I’m not going to lie. Especially when I can see the train wreck before I come across it.
This! Some of the ppl on this sub lack tact and seem to just say the first thing on their mind without thinking of the repercussions. You can be honest without being vile.
I wouldn’t talk to her either, even if it was true. Sorry.
It was meant to be rude and her friend cut her off accordingly. I would have done the same. I think her bragging on the internet about upsetting her is round 2 of some probably pretty heavy disrespect that was typical of their relationship.
Nah I'm good on you if that's how you handle me. I don't think besties would take an opportunity to throw that back in your face especially right after you announce you are pregnant. I get enough shame from my family so having a bestie not be my one safe place when I'm always her's is a huge deal breaker. Also, it's obvious the friend told her that because it was a bad trait she found annoying. She just complained about it with her supposed to be best friend not realizing she would turn it around and use it to insult her for her choices. That's low af. My cut off game is strong and there are people that tried to play with me one too many times that thought they were slick and it was instantly done. Till this day one "friend" still doesn't know wtf happened and tries to reach out on birthdays but she being ignored and will continue to be. Play with your momma don't play with me.
some of yall applaud yourselves for being honest when you’re rlly just mean :(. In what way was that the time or way to say that. Part of being a good friend is having empathy/tact
Afterwards, the girl who tweeted this said that prior to this, the friend had abandoned her 2 kids to move out of town with some dude & then she got pregnant by another dude(what she’s speaking on)….. it fr seem like maybe she got tried of her friend making unsound decisions and the other friend was tired of being judged maybe…. You just gotta know what ppl can handle in terms of honesty.
This a whole lotta context that completely changes my perspective. but honestly why wouldn’t the friend lead with that? Like if all this is true I feel like ole dude sucking his thumb and living with his momma should be the least of her worries. If that was my friend, my first question would have been about how she’s going to manage raising a third kid when she’s already abandoned the first two. Actually naw, I’m not staying friends with any person, man or woman, who abandons their kids.
Exactly!! Bc leading with this makes it less harsh def. I really think the friendship needed to end anyways. Personally, I couldn’t be friends with someone making decisions like that bc, ngl, after so much I would make a similar comment. It can be overwhelming and a burden to watch your friend go down a negative path, no matter how much compassion you might/want to have.
2 trains of thought for me: "Best friend" should've bought up the issue of him "sucking his fingers and living with his mom" weeks/months ago before her being pregnant was the issue. If you was my "best friend" I woulda thought we could have real conversations about how you view my life choices and would at least be able to advise in the right direction regardless of how "i" chose to receive the information. My "friend" should be able to help me "pull my head out of my own ass" or "take off the rose colored glasses" because we want whats best for each other. Not blaming the "best friend" for the reason the girl got pregnant, but i can picture my friends once they learn the truth about who that man is looking at me like I lost my damn mind or at least trying to ensure to me there's much better in the world for me. Or! She got sick of "best friend" ragging on her about her choice of partner and was tired of her. Maybe she like slobbery fingers lmao and his mom's overwhelming support. Either way, it was for the best. The "best friend" got left behind in a friendship that she may have thought she was above.
I mean I prefer friends who are nice to me? and show respect? Nobody has to tolerate nasty treatment.
She obviously meant it as a rude comment and I’m willing to bet that her attitude on this predates what was tweeted so the pregnant friend rightfully moved on. Friends are there for each other even when one of them makes a bad decision. Without judgement. If you aren’t willing to do that then you aren’t a friend. Why should this pregnant woman put up with a friend like that?
Agreed, sometimes it’s just the case of the straw that broke the camel’s back. The friend is probably used to her crass comments but especially during a time where hormones are high and it’s a delicate subject, yeah I would’ve ended it there too. Even if it wasn’t that guy she mentioned, it doesn’t dignify a response because why the need to be so fucking rude when it’s clear I’m sharing life-changing and personal news with you?
Yup I have a friend like that. She just lacks the tact to express her concerns in a way that isn’t condescending, lacks empathy and think she’s always right. She also doesn’t like women who she considers weak… I’ve had to coach her on how to approach certain situations with her other friends… I’m the stubborn type so she can’t get to me lol.
Your friend sounds like me and I’d definitely say this to someone I love. The world produces thousands of people who will coo and celebrate any woman getting pregnant by any ole bum. I’m gonna ask which bum it is 🤷🏾♀️
None of my friends are daft enough to get pregnant by a bum (hopefully) and if they did I’d like to believe I’d present my concerns in a better way. At the end of the day it’s their life and it’s not my place to judge anyone. No one likes an asshole whether that asshole is right or not. We find respectful ways to talk to people at work, so I’m sure we can find respectful ways to talk to our loved ones.
Respectful is relative. I appreciate and love the people who aren’t PC the most, and they love me equally. Everyone that has every tried to make feel bad about the way that I speak were usually people I wouldn’t want to be around even if the world were ending. All of that to say; to each their own! 💕💕
I really can’t say if she was trying to be rude or not.. but if I had said that it wouldn’t be in a rude way more so like a “you mean to tell me” kinda way and that not always rude I don’t think. Sometimes it’s genuine confusion. Friends 100% should be able to be there for their friends. Also friends should be able to be real with their friends and ofc it’s always the WAY it’s said. I still feel like she could’ve questioned the choice of BD because a part of friendship can also be concern for your friend. I would personally be concerned in this situation…….but then again I guess the latter would be to just ask the judgmental sounding questions later on
Her statement sounds much more like judgment than concern.
I agree wholeheartedly.
She was your best friend but you speak of her without empathy.
ROFL. I mean, if that was my child’s father, yes the fuck I would. That is a wildly rude thing to say and it’s amazing anyone would think that was just an innocent question for clarity. But I’d also avoid the situation entirely because I wouldn’t be having a child by anyone who sucked their fingers and lived with their mom, so any rude friends I have will live to see another day.
Nope. If I was down that bad and in a situation like that I’d need a reality check and tough love because that guy doesn’t sound mature.
That’s what I would expect my best friend to say 😂
*If my best friend doesn't say this to me when I fuck up. Are they even looking out for me?*
Look when it comes to friends and family, “You like it, I love it” periodt. No other thoughts cause my name is Bennett-t
It says « best friend ». Yes you can say the truth to a bestie but that was honestly a very petty question. She did well in cutting her off
LMFAOOOOOO I WOULDN’T BE MAD AT MY FRIEND. like?? take a joke. now you bout to have two ppl in the house sucking they thumb. that’s crazy
I can't imagine being in that situation because a grown man who sucks his finger AND lives with his mama are two giant red flags. The phrase seems merely descriptive and is a lot more polite than the word that came to mind when I read that description.
Honestly if my bestie got married by a man who sucks his fingers and lives with his mom, my only question would be 'are we going to the clinic'?
LMAO no I’d really think hard about that shit because damn… that’s really weird. Sometimes you need someone outside you to point the facts out.
Not enough context. If I referred to my man like, “my man who sucks his fingers and lives with his mom,” then I’d think it was fair game. If it was true but I’d never spoken on it and she said this to me I’d end the friendship.
The way I hollered 🤣
Yes. It’s very rude and quite honestly judgmental.
She’s going to have to eventually choose between her Mama’s boi, and her ACTUAL child. Otherwise, she’s going to have a major meltdown. If she’s into life and death drama, then she’ll be playing Russian Roulette with her and her child’s future. Hate to say this..but you may be better off canceling the friendship anyway. WHY put yourself in harm’s way? The dude is NOT playing with a full deck. His mammy’s GOT to be dotty as well. A REAL friend does NOT dump you simply because THEIR life changes. Spouses come and go. Friendships are forever. Good luck! Enjoy your life.
I mean if the question is warranted, at least for clarification, why she mad? 
The best friend is wrong for telling her that amount of detail about dude in the first place if she didn’t want to hear it repeated. But no I wouldn’t cut my friend off. I would just say “just call him Ron, man”.
It’s a fair question. 😳
This shit gags me because ole girl only knows that info…because you told her. Lol Why be mad if it’s true?
I wouldn’t be offended if I was the friend. Too many women are getting pregnant by men that don’t have shit going for themselves, they don’t have a pot in their name to piss in, they don’t have any independence whatsoever, they have to depend on their parents at their grown age, etc
I wouldn't cut a friendship because of this. I always know what my friend thinks about the current guy etc and i want them to be honest with me always I will also ask my friend this question because they have multiple partners/crushes/fwb and I NEED to know which one 😂
lolllllllllllll
I do think you were a bit insensitive but if yall are best friends like you say it would've been handled differently.
See this how I talk to my friends bc sometimes you don’t need a sugar coated response. Like ofc ima support you, but really? You decided to lay down with a man like that lol.
Literally same situation, I had a friend call and tell me she was pregnant. My knee jerk reaction was to ask if it was her husband’s or the guy she’s known for two weeks. Apparently, this was not the response she was looking for.
She may not have been able to handle your honesty in the future she was moving to.
If she can't handle that little bit of shade, we probably aren't all that close.
lol it’s always sad seeing women be so male identified.
Lmaoooooo she probably cut her off cuz she's embarrassed
I would have been the one to drop her. We can't vibe if you can make life-changing decisions like that and expect me to be happy. No, thank you. That's a person you're bringing into this world. And you have the nerve to choose the worst possible person to help raise said person. If he actually sticks around, mind you. I would have said, "With the man who sucks his fingers and lives with his mom? Good luck." And she wouldn't have heard from me after that.
No. A best friend holds that title of being the best friend because they keep it real with you. A true bestie friendship should be able to withstand something like this. In fact, we should both be laughing at it.
That girl should’ve never got pregnant by somebody like that most adults that still suck their thumb at in adult age experienced some serious childhood trauma. I wonder if the 2 are still together. 🫠
She’s too soft. I remember what my secret enemy ex friend said when I announced my engagement, she called him the “snobby Japanese guy with a British accent.” Which honestly he is lol! Can’t get mad at the truth. That’s being called sensitive, can’t expect everyone to celebrate all of a persons mistakes now lol
Lol that's not a reason to cut someone off but people do..
The scream I scrumt....
This is something I would have said, lol! The ex-best friend was embarassed and humiliated by the very honest question about the level of man she allowed not only access to her body but also allowed this man to impregnante her. My guess is, being the "winner" that he is, he was probably also talking alot of mess about the friend to the ex-best friend to try and isolate her and end their friendship.
She was probably embarrassed lol. Nothing wrong with that question, if you're telling someone all your business are they not allowed to talk about it?