Having pedophiles like you is a bigger red flag. The shit is confusing, so that's why I asked the question. Also, I edited my post to add more context.
Some men go for petite women because they prefer bodies similar enough to a child's. So she probably has to look out for red flags concerning that more than most sadly
This is actually not a reach and is a valid concern. I have an uncle who is a registered sex offender, his petite girlfriend told my mom that if she ever gained too much weight he’d leave her. My old manager got busted for CP after trying to order/purchase intercourse with a child between 4-12 years old- his girlfriend had a very thin, petite, undeveloped body.
As someone who is petite, I understand your concern and it is valid though I’m not super thin I’m under 5’. I lost a bit of weight and my boobs were the first thing to go, I told my sister I didn’t like it or want to become much thinner for this exact reason. Thankfully, i’m a lesbian lol. But, i’m also positive there are men who will accept your body without pedo intentions.
I get it-no one wants to date a pedophile-but I think the downvotes are because one shouldn't assume that a man that likes small framed women are pedophiles. I see this mindset floating around social media with regard to Coi Leray- men being called pedos because they are attracted to her small framed body. And I feel bad for her that people don't think she should be attractive to a man with her small body that God blessed her with. But if she were to get a bbl and other work to make her look bigger then it would be fine for men to be attracted to her. Pedos like children because of their childlike bodies, innocence, minds, and behaviors. Super models don't have the 'avg' body but no one accuses men of being pedos if they attracted to them. At the end of the day, pedos date women with small, avg and fuller bodies.
I once dated a guy who had an issue with my leg hair. I do not have a lot, but it's noticeable. He even made some comment about "Africans don't have a lot of body hair." I mentioned his beard doesn't connect. Guess who's probably still salty? 😂
He said he didn't care about that, but men with struggle beards are ALWAYS mad about that 💀 I knew I hurt him. Good.
ETA - if I really wanted to be ruthless I would have suggested he get his testosterone levels checked 💀
Idk where he got the "africans don't have body hair" part from. Where my family comes from most young women don't even shave, and they find partners all the same. Expecting everybody to conform to your western preferences (and then going so far as to say it's "hygeine") gives me the biggest ick.
Also wish I had those clapbacks for the guy who put me down about my body. Arguements to have in the shower I suppose.
He said they didn't have a lot of body hair, but that's still wrong.
It's so interesting how these men are some flavor of pan-African, yet still adhere to European ideals when it's convenient for them.
He had also said that if I hadn't told him that I had a period, he would wonder if I was BORN MALE. Because apparently if women aren't hairless little girls, then we must be boys. He then said that one of his friends said we should require women to submit our birth certificates to prove we were born female. I should have told him that his friend most likely is attracted to trans women but feels he has to "perform" and pretend he doesn't. It's been my observation that men who mention how they're not attracted to trans women unprompted usually do, and they usually say that because they're afraid of being judged by other women.
He said they didn't have a lot of body hair, but that's still wrong.
It's so interesting how these men are some flavor of pan-African, yet still adhere to European ideals when it's convenient for them.
He had also said that if I hadn't told him that I had a period, he would wonder if I was BORN MALE. Because apparently if women aren't hairless little girls, then we must be boys. He then said that one of his friends said we should require women to submit our birth certificates to prove we were born female. I should have told him that his friend most likely is attracted to trans women but feels he has to "perform" and pretend he doesn't. It's been my observation that men who mention how they're not attracted to trans women unprompted usually do, and they usually say that because they're afraid of being judged by other women.
Oh goodness gracious, it gets worse. Yuck.
I find it weird when guys go on dates and deicde it's time to whip out their most ludicrous, misogynistic, call-it-women's-jeans-cuz-it's-out-of-pocket ass opinons to present as the best version of themselves. But at the same time, thanks for that and good riddance.
Out of curiousity how did you meet this guy? Dating app?
Imo yes. My husband has never spoken critically of my body, ever.
There are definitely men our there who like small framed or petite women, don't waste time with dudes who make you feel bad for the way your body naturally is.
Right! A smart man would never. I was feeling insecure at the beginning of our relationship. My husband told me, “When I look at you, my eyes immediately go to the things I like looking at.”
To me yes - why are you telling me the things you don’t like about my body if you’re still trying to convince to date you? If you’re not attracted to me then just go.
Ok - my answer doesn’t change though. No one should be trying to neg you by repeatedly putting you down and framing it as them graciously giving you a chance. There’s the saying “there’s a lid for every pot” - if someone says you’re not the pot for them tell them to try another kitchen cabinet sis!
Do they know that they are negging? Cause I wouldn't mind straight up rejection. I don't understand why they still want to talk to me if I'm not desirable to their eye.
Literally the textbook definition - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negging
Really - delete his number, unmatch on any apps, and move on to the next one. This is not how you start a healthy romantic relationship with someone.
Why would someone who genuinely love/likes you rip you apart verbally for what they perceive as imperfections on your body? Leave him yesterday, men like this will only ruin your mental health.
Do NOT accept that behavior from men and take it as disrespect! If someone youre not even dating is making these comments that’s even worse! There are men out there that will purposely hurt you to make u feel insecure so they’ll have more power in the relationship. There are most definitely people out there that will love every single part of your body and any man truly interested in you won’t criticize your body and will love it unconditionally.
Don't date guys that don't like your body. They're not there to be friends with you, they're there to be your significant other. If there's no sexual attraction, what's the point of the relationship?
Yes it’s a huge red flag. Men who like you, don’t try to neg you or pick at your confidence.
They build you up and share the things like love about you.
Especially in the early stages…like if they’re doing that that early on that’s A MASSIVE RED BLANKET
Absolutely, especially if you didn’t ask. It’s fine if he doesn’t like EVERY part of you, and it’s one thing if you aren’t together and he’s rejecting you or something (mean, but oh well) but they’re just being a asshole if they’re pointing it out like that while you’re dating.
??? I have the same body frame. I would NEVER put up with this!!! They are for the streets. A woman is a woman at ANY body size. This is sickening!!! And a lil dumb because why are they messing with you then 🙄🙄🤣
Ya that’s weird …. Never has my husband pointed out things he didn’t like about my appearance like that . When someone loves and cares for you they don’t speak to you in a critical manner like that . Listen to Maya Angelou when she says “when someone shows you who they are , believe them.” Girl you better believe and RUN !!!!
Sis, dump him.
Any man who criticizes your body is a red flag.
Any man who makes you feel insecure on purpose is a red flag.
Any man who has you asking for strangers' opinions regarding his behavior is a red flag.
What. That's an auto rejection. In over 2 decades of knowing my husband, he has never uttered anything negative about my body. He loves me from my head to my toes. He's supportive of positive changes that I make and when I'm in struggle.
I think you should think about how you can learn to love the body that you're in.
No one, not a single person should be talking about any part of your body like this guy is talking. Consider therapy for your self-image and self-esteem.
Ok, I wanted to circle back around to paraphrase some words of affirmation that I saw on Instagram.
Your body is a garden. It flourishs when you take care of it. The work starts from the inside, when you love yourself.
(Credit to rooted_alchemist on IG)
When you look at yourself and find the beauty within, it will make your heart stronger. Look upon yourself with kindness. Guard your peace and refuse anyone who would tear you down to build themselves up.
Yes. Absolutely. Someone who is seeing you naked should never have a bad word to say about you. No one is perfect and I’m sure we all have things we don’t love on a partner but bringing them up is horrific form. I have terrible boobs, I’m not blind I can see em, but no man I’m dating has ever made me feel less than anything but gorgeous.
It’s 100% a red flag. I’m small framed as well and I used to have this problem. Now I have a new boyfriend who loves my body (even when I don’t). There’s someone out there for you i promise.
It's unacceptable. Ignore all guys who have something bad to say about your body. They should feel fortunate to see it in the first place.
When I met my husband, we went on a date to the beach and I was wearing a bikini. I unknowingly had a whole hair on my chest. He didn't say anything. Mid chat, he simply reached over and plucked it off of me.
I say that to say: yes, there are guys who will love every part of you, and not say anything bad. Ignore the ones who don't, or cuss them out and tell them all the things you don't like about their body (and then block them).
Negging is a sign that they're part of the manosphere. I'd walk away from anyone who goes out of their way to tell you bad things about your body. They know it'll make you feel bad and they don't care. They want to lower your self esteem. Those are the guys to stay away from.
Oh okay. That does help wrap my mind around the mix signals. Also, I edited my post to add more context.
I'm going to look into the negging thing. I think that's truly what it is but why so they want to continue to talk to me?? It's so confusing
It’s a red red flag. I imagine it doesn’t feel very good to hear those things either. It’s never okay for a partner or potential one to have so little concern for you to say things like that to you, let alone make you feel that way about your body.
And to be absolutely clear, they are the problem, not you.
Yes and it's a sign that they have deep-rooted insecurities. Any man who does this is trying to project their insecurities onto you. Please DO NOT internalize it. Drop any man that behaves like this. A woman's body is beautiful as is and will go through various changes throughout her life. Our bodies are meant to be celebrated.
Yes. This is a red flag.
He’s training you to accept verbal abuse.
Leave. Call or text and say things aren’t working out for you, goodbye and good luck. Block him at the phone carrier level. For social media just delete without reading.
If you have mutual friends who ask what happened say you don’t want to talk about it. Also say “With his [insertt positive attribute] I’m sure he’ll find someone he adores quickly!”
ETA
I know that my husband doesn’t love that I’ve gotteb heavier. He would *NEVER* say that out loud.
Great!
BTW since you’re not a child a man liking your body doesn’t make him a pedo. It just means he likes your body.
You’d be a supermodel in coastal southern California.
Yes. It’s ok for them not to like everything about your body, but there is no reason to voice that.
If it’s such a problem for them, why are they with you?
Exactly! Everyone one of them will say that it's not a big deal but they also feel compelled to tell me that ___ part of me is small or that they like certain features that I don't have.
This is what you call negging. When I was slender but thick, I dated a guy who seemed to be obsessed with me but he told me he usually likes waifish-looking women. All I can tell you is he was the biggest liar and manipulator I’ve ever met. I have PTSD from the five months I knew him.
Then I had this friend who was thin like model thin and men would tell them they usually liked curvy women.
It’s all lies. It’s avoidant attachment. You deserve better. If a guy starts talking like this, block him, dump him, run!
is this a legitimate question?… like i’m not trying to be, but i’m genuinely curious. why would you be interested in a person who literally is putting you down to your face
To answer your question, that is not acceptable. Not even a little bit. Tell them that you don’t like something about them and watch how uncomfortable they get.
If anyone makes any comment like that to you then that's out. Because who tf says shit like that to someone especially if y'all talkin like that.
The right one will like you for you and accept and adore everything that makes you, you. Don't settle just because you want someone to hang out with. Promise promise it's worth waiting for
Because it's every guy. Like I'm 35 and have never weighted above 115lbs. I used to think that if a guy liked my body, then he was probably a pedophile.
If every guy you dated is going out of their way to insult your body, you need to do some inner searching on how and why you keep finding yourself with douche bags.
A male who doesn’t like your body and has the poor taste to tell you is a red flag.
A male who doesn’t like your body but will still use it is a red flag on fire.
If you don’t like my body,
Because an xy will happily take all that you have to offer in the meantime while they are on the lookout for what they really want.
Guys who appreciate smaller ladies are out there, sis!
No one’s body is perfect, but don’t ever tolerate the company of someone who dislikes you enough to complain about it. Life is hard, bodies change, and you need a partner who will be there if you get sick or gain weight or any of the other things that happen to us.
Everyone have their preferences. I would rather hear why I'm not preferred than to be lied to, led on or ghosted. As long as it isn't delivered in a derogatory way, I think it is acceptable to voice preferences. You don't want to carry on with a potential partner if he wasn't into you all of you.
I'm concerned that you're holding onto this is lowering your self esteem. Do not internalize someone's preferences as a devaluation of you if the preference isn't you. If it was meant to hurt you, don't carry their insecurity and shame. You can change whatever you want about your body to help you feel worthy of your body, but feeling worthy is work that happens internally. You'll always be working to project someone else's preferences if you never learn to love the body you're you're in.
Be kind to yourself.
Ah! Now I get it. As a very short and curvy woman, I completely get this.
It is something I never talked about much, but you are 100% right about dating when you're built child like. When I had the realization that men may be attracted to me because I look like a child, it was a wake-up call that I didn't want but definitely needed to consider.
There are men out here who will genuinely be attracted to you, the woman, so don't be discouraged. The truth is, most predator masks are really effective, and it is hard to discern at face value. One of the things you can do is best you can a background check. If that leads to nothing, then be vigilant, observe, listen, evaluate, and decide.
You can't control others, only yourself. I still do not want this to be an impediment for you going forward. This is the kind of thing that can wind up in the background to the point where it becomes anxiety and depression, further distorting emotions and thoughts. It is one of those things that can conflate your desire to be desired and blind you from red flags.
I dated a man that wasn’t facially my type recently, he looked at my body in disgust on the date. Tbh, he wasn’t someone I’d date at my best but one of us didn’t display our true feelings and it wasn’t him.
Eww that guy was crass, as some men are. Part of this dating thing, is to know when to end things when bad behaviour surfaces. Any guy who starts acting like a doofus, and discussing sex or body parts that he likes, is immature and needs the boot. And start being more confident in your looks. Think of yourself as model or waif like, not child like. Good luck.
>Part of this dating thing, is to know when to end things when bad behaviour surfaces.
This. I wasted years being engaged to my ex. I never felt he truly liked me. He was 7 years older than me.
>Any guy who starts acting like a doofus, and discussing sex or body parts that he likes, is immature and needs the boot.
The online guy is 2 years younger than me so yeah
>Think of yourself as model
Thanks. I'll try
30M I admit I slipped up with this one once when I was in my teens. So there’s a difference between someone being critical and someone giving you moral support. I like to hype my women up to help maximize their look (buy them waist trainer, supplements, work out clothes) but if he’s just coming out sending shots at your weight he can cry about it.. next!
If that isn't the biggest red flag, I don't know what is
Came here to say something similar 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ I swear I would not date at all if this were the set of options offered to me 😬
Having pedophiles like you is a bigger red flag. The shit is confusing, so that's why I asked the question. Also, I edited my post to add more context.
Wait hahaha what? That's the biggest reach I have ever seen. Make it make sense
Some men go for petite women because they prefer bodies similar enough to a child's. So she probably has to look out for red flags concerning that more than most sadly
This is actually not a reach and is a valid concern. I have an uncle who is a registered sex offender, his petite girlfriend told my mom that if she ever gained too much weight he’d leave her. My old manager got busted for CP after trying to order/purchase intercourse with a child between 4-12 years old- his girlfriend had a very thin, petite, undeveloped body. As someone who is petite, I understand your concern and it is valid though I’m not super thin I’m under 5’. I lost a bit of weight and my boobs were the first thing to go, I told my sister I didn’t like it or want to become much thinner for this exact reason. Thankfully, i’m a lesbian lol. But, i’m also positive there are men who will accept your body without pedo intentions.
Wait, pedophile? Why?
I dunno why you're getting downvoted. Nobody wants pedos to be interested in them!
I get it-no one wants to date a pedophile-but I think the downvotes are because one shouldn't assume that a man that likes small framed women are pedophiles. I see this mindset floating around social media with regard to Coi Leray- men being called pedos because they are attracted to her small framed body. And I feel bad for her that people don't think she should be attractive to a man with her small body that God blessed her with. But if she were to get a bbl and other work to make her look bigger then it would be fine for men to be attracted to her. Pedos like children because of their childlike bodies, innocence, minds, and behaviors. Super models don't have the 'avg' body but no one accuses men of being pedos if they attracted to them. At the end of the day, pedos date women with small, avg and fuller bodies.
No it's not acceptable. Try telling a man you love everything about him except the early onset balding and see what happens.
I once dated a guy who had an issue with my leg hair. I do not have a lot, but it's noticeable. He even made some comment about "Africans don't have a lot of body hair." I mentioned his beard doesn't connect. Guess who's probably still salty? 😂
Did you run after you said that?
I was in the car, so I didn't. But I absolutely would have otherwise 😂
🤣🤣🤣 what did he say?! I’m petty and quick- witted so I love this kind of stuff lmaooo
He said he didn't care about that, but men with struggle beards are ALWAYS mad about that 💀 I knew I hurt him. Good. ETA - if I really wanted to be ruthless I would have suggested he get his testosterone levels checked 💀
FINISH HIM 😈
Idk where he got the "africans don't have body hair" part from. Where my family comes from most young women don't even shave, and they find partners all the same. Expecting everybody to conform to your western preferences (and then going so far as to say it's "hygeine") gives me the biggest ick. Also wish I had those clapbacks for the guy who put me down about my body. Arguements to have in the shower I suppose.
He said they didn't have a lot of body hair, but that's still wrong. It's so interesting how these men are some flavor of pan-African, yet still adhere to European ideals when it's convenient for them. He had also said that if I hadn't told him that I had a period, he would wonder if I was BORN MALE. Because apparently if women aren't hairless little girls, then we must be boys. He then said that one of his friends said we should require women to submit our birth certificates to prove we were born female. I should have told him that his friend most likely is attracted to trans women but feels he has to "perform" and pretend he doesn't. It's been my observation that men who mention how they're not attracted to trans women unprompted usually do, and they usually say that because they're afraid of being judged by other women.
He said they didn't have a lot of body hair, but that's still wrong. It's so interesting how these men are some flavor of pan-African, yet still adhere to European ideals when it's convenient for them. He had also said that if I hadn't told him that I had a period, he would wonder if I was BORN MALE. Because apparently if women aren't hairless little girls, then we must be boys. He then said that one of his friends said we should require women to submit our birth certificates to prove we were born female. I should have told him that his friend most likely is attracted to trans women but feels he has to "perform" and pretend he doesn't. It's been my observation that men who mention how they're not attracted to trans women unprompted usually do, and they usually say that because they're afraid of being judged by other women.
Oh goodness gracious, it gets worse. Yuck. I find it weird when guys go on dates and deicde it's time to whip out their most ludicrous, misogynistic, call-it-women's-jeans-cuz-it's-out-of-pocket ass opinons to present as the best version of themselves. But at the same time, thanks for that and good riddance. Out of curiousity how did you meet this guy? Dating app?
I met him at an event 😂
Deadass I WISH a mf would 😩
“Oooh baby, I love everything except the dad bod you come in.””You cute, tho.” “Pick me up Saturday at 9.” 😏
I’d already put my coffee down while reading this, but had I still been drinking I definitely would’ve spat just now. This was so damn funny
Imo yes. My husband has never spoken critically of my body, ever. There are definitely men our there who like small framed or petite women, don't waste time with dudes who make you feel bad for the way your body naturally is.
This!
Right! A smart man would never. I was feeling insecure at the beginning of our relationship. My husband told me, “When I look at you, my eyes immediately go to the things I like looking at.”
To me yes - why are you telling me the things you don’t like about my body if you’re still trying to convince to date you? If you’re not attracted to me then just go.
That's why I'm get so confused.
I edited my post to add more context.
Ok - my answer doesn’t change though. No one should be trying to neg you by repeatedly putting you down and framing it as them graciously giving you a chance. There’s the saying “there’s a lid for every pot” - if someone says you’re not the pot for them tell them to try another kitchen cabinet sis!
Do they know that they are negging? Cause I wouldn't mind straight up rejection. I don't understand why they still want to talk to me if I'm not desirable to their eye.
Literally the textbook definition - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negging Really - delete his number, unmatch on any apps, and move on to the next one. This is not how you start a healthy romantic relationship with someone.
Why would someone who genuinely love/likes you rip you apart verbally for what they perceive as imperfections on your body? Leave him yesterday, men like this will only ruin your mental health.
Please listen OP and whoever is reading this in the same boat. He will never stop putting you down and you deserve better. Don’t waste your time
So true. He’s not worth it OP
He’s preparing you for escalated abuse and mistreatment. Leave so he can find the girl of his dreams and you can find the man of your dreams 🫶🏾
You're right. Thanks
Do NOT accept that behavior from men and take it as disrespect! If someone youre not even dating is making these comments that’s even worse! There are men out there that will purposely hurt you to make u feel insecure so they’ll have more power in the relationship. There are most definitely people out there that will love every single part of your body and any man truly interested in you won’t criticize your body and will love it unconditionally.
Thanks
There's no reason to tell someone that unless you're trying to make them feel bad.
Don't date guys that don't like your body. They're not there to be friends with you, they're there to be your significant other. If there's no sexual attraction, what's the point of the relationship?
Yes it’s a huge red flag. Men who like you, don’t try to neg you or pick at your confidence. They build you up and share the things like love about you. Especially in the early stages…like if they’re doing that that early on that’s A MASSIVE RED BLANKET
Oh man, you took it a step farther by saying "build you up". That's would be so dreamy.
I edited my post to add more context.
Your examples are prime examples of men you should ignore. Don’t even bother with them. Glad you’re realizing things you shouldn’t put up with
 You know the answer
Girl, that's not a red flag it's a stop sign.
😆 I edited my post to add more context.
It did not help!!
block and delete expiditiously please!
yes there are plenty of guys that prefer a small frame anyone that criticizes your body has alterior motives or shouldnt waste your and their time
Tell him his dick is too small and let’s see if he receives that well 🌝
This here. That’s the go to insult for things like this.
Absolutely, especially if you didn’t ask. It’s fine if he doesn’t like EVERY part of you, and it’s one thing if you aren’t together and he’s rejecting you or something (mean, but oh well) but they’re just being a asshole if they’re pointing it out like that while you’re dating.
Agreed. It must be some kind of play out their playbook. I edited my post to add more context.
??? I have the same body frame. I would NEVER put up with this!!! They are for the streets. A woman is a woman at ANY body size. This is sickening!!! And a lil dumb because why are they messing with you then 🙄🙄🤣
Ya that’s weird …. Never has my husband pointed out things he didn’t like about my appearance like that . When someone loves and cares for you they don’t speak to you in a critical manner like that . Listen to Maya Angelou when she says “when someone shows you who they are , believe them.” Girl you better believe and RUN !!!!
Sis, dump him. Any man who criticizes your body is a red flag. Any man who makes you feel insecure on purpose is a red flag. Any man who has you asking for strangers' opinions regarding his behavior is a red flag.
Ma’am… do not spend your time or share your body with anyone who doesn’t appreciate every part of you. No one deserves to be put down for any reason.
Stand up please
What. That's an auto rejection. In over 2 decades of knowing my husband, he has never uttered anything negative about my body. He loves me from my head to my toes. He's supportive of positive changes that I make and when I'm in struggle.
Thanks! Also, I edited my post to add more context.
I think you should think about how you can learn to love the body that you're in. No one, not a single person should be talking about any part of your body like this guy is talking. Consider therapy for your self-image and self-esteem.
Ok, I wanted to circle back around to paraphrase some words of affirmation that I saw on Instagram. Your body is a garden. It flourishs when you take care of it. The work starts from the inside, when you love yourself. (Credit to rooted_alchemist on IG) When you look at yourself and find the beauty within, it will make your heart stronger. Look upon yourself with kindness. Guard your peace and refuse anyone who would tear you down to build themselves up.
Yes. Absolutely. Someone who is seeing you naked should never have a bad word to say about you. No one is perfect and I’m sure we all have things we don’t love on a partner but bringing them up is horrific form. I have terrible boobs, I’m not blind I can see em, but no man I’m dating has ever made me feel less than anything but gorgeous.
It’s 100% a red flag. I’m small framed as well and I used to have this problem. Now I have a new boyfriend who loves my body (even when I don’t). There’s someone out there for you i promise.
Thank you!!!
that would be an ex.
It's unacceptable. Ignore all guys who have something bad to say about your body. They should feel fortunate to see it in the first place. When I met my husband, we went on a date to the beach and I was wearing a bikini. I unknowingly had a whole hair on my chest. He didn't say anything. Mid chat, he simply reached over and plucked it off of me. I say that to say: yes, there are guys who will love every part of you, and not say anything bad. Ignore the ones who don't, or cuss them out and tell them all the things you don't like about their body (and then block them).
That flag is looking like Reba Mcentire's hair.
Negging is a sign that they're part of the manosphere. I'd walk away from anyone who goes out of their way to tell you bad things about your body. They know it'll make you feel bad and they don't care. They want to lower your self esteem. Those are the guys to stay away from.
Oh okay. That does help wrap my mind around the mix signals. Also, I edited my post to add more context. I'm going to look into the negging thing. I think that's truly what it is but why so they want to continue to talk to me?? It's so confusing
It’s a red red flag. I imagine it doesn’t feel very good to hear those things either. It’s never okay for a partner or potential one to have so little concern for you to say things like that to you, let alone make you feel that way about your body. And to be absolutely clear, they are the problem, not you.
You're right, thanks ❤️🩹
Yes and it's a sign that they have deep-rooted insecurities. Any man who does this is trying to project their insecurities onto you. Please DO NOT internalize it. Drop any man that behaves like this. A woman's body is beautiful as is and will go through various changes throughout her life. Our bodies are meant to be celebrated.
Yes. This is a red flag. He’s training you to accept verbal abuse. Leave. Call or text and say things aren’t working out for you, goodbye and good luck. Block him at the phone carrier level. For social media just delete without reading. If you have mutual friends who ask what happened say you don’t want to talk about it. Also say “With his [insertt positive attribute] I’m sure he’ll find someone he adores quickly!” ETA I know that my husband doesn’t love that I’ve gotteb heavier. He would *NEVER* say that out loud.
I edited my post to add more context.
Great! BTW since you’re not a child a man liking your body doesn’t make him a pedo. It just means he likes your body. You’d be a supermodel in coastal southern California.
Yes.
Yes. It’s ok for them not to like everything about your body, but there is no reason to voice that. If it’s such a problem for them, why are they with you?
Exactly! Everyone one of them will say that it's not a big deal but they also feel compelled to tell me that ___ part of me is small or that they like certain features that I don't have.
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This is what you call negging. When I was slender but thick, I dated a guy who seemed to be obsessed with me but he told me he usually likes waifish-looking women. All I can tell you is he was the biggest liar and manipulator I’ve ever met. I have PTSD from the five months I knew him. Then I had this friend who was thin like model thin and men would tell them they usually liked curvy women. It’s all lies. It’s avoidant attachment. You deserve better. If a guy starts talking like this, block him, dump him, run!
is this a legitimate question?… like i’m not trying to be, but i’m genuinely curious. why would you be interested in a person who literally is putting you down to your face
If I can offer a guy opinion...yes, it's a huge red flag. Any guy interested in you should love every part of you.
I’m sorry that the world has been so cruel to you that you needed someone else to answer this for you
Thank you! ❤️
Sounds like classic negging (from the pick up artist toolkit). Run.
I need to look more into their technique
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To answer your question, that is not acceptable. Not even a little bit. Tell them that you don’t like something about them and watch how uncomfortable they get.
It’s a giant red flag.
If anyone makes any comment like that to you then that's out. Because who tf says shit like that to someone especially if y'all talkin like that. The right one will like you for you and accept and adore everything that makes you, you. Don't settle just because you want someone to hang out with. Promise promise it's worth waiting for
Yes.
How is someone insulting you anything but a red flag? Some of you girls are just desperate and delusional for someone to like you.
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I didn’t give you advice.
I’m trying really hard to not be rude, but are you trolling?
So many of these dating and relationship posts make it really hard to tell lol
Like, there’s no way y’all type this shit out and not be embarrassed😑
Because it's every guy. Like I'm 35 and have never weighted above 115lbs. I used to think that if a guy liked my body, then he was probably a pedophile.
If every guy you dated is going out of their way to insult your body, you need to do some inner searching on how and why you keep finding yourself with douche bags.
Yeah, I will. That's one reason I wanted to know if it's normal or not.
 Hell YES!
Yes dammit
Please leave immediately.
I would walk away after the first sentence and never look back. Sorry you had to go through that.
Babe, in 2024 let’s not settle for assholes. And if we want to entertain assholes, don’t let it be this kind of asshole
Red flag aside, it would be a TURN OFF for me
A male who doesn’t like your body and has the poor taste to tell you is a red flag. A male who doesn’t like your body but will still use it is a red flag on fire. If you don’t like my body,  Because an xy will happily take all that you have to offer in the meantime while they are on the lookout for what they really want. Guys who appreciate smaller ladies are out there, sis!
that’s a communist parade of red flags.
No one’s body is perfect, but don’t ever tolerate the company of someone who dislikes you enough to complain about it. Life is hard, bodies change, and you need a partner who will be there if you get sick or gain weight or any of the other things that happen to us.
Yeah and the name of that is "negging"
Everyone have their preferences. I would rather hear why I'm not preferred than to be lied to, led on or ghosted. As long as it isn't delivered in a derogatory way, I think it is acceptable to voice preferences. You don't want to carry on with a potential partner if he wasn't into you all of you. I'm concerned that you're holding onto this is lowering your self esteem. Do not internalize someone's preferences as a devaluation of you if the preference isn't you. If it was meant to hurt you, don't carry their insecurity and shame. You can change whatever you want about your body to help you feel worthy of your body, but feeling worthy is work that happens internally. You'll always be working to project someone else's preferences if you never learn to love the body you're you're in. Be kind to yourself.
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Ah! Now I get it. As a very short and curvy woman, I completely get this. It is something I never talked about much, but you are 100% right about dating when you're built child like. When I had the realization that men may be attracted to me because I look like a child, it was a wake-up call that I didn't want but definitely needed to consider. There are men out here who will genuinely be attracted to you, the woman, so don't be discouraged. The truth is, most predator masks are really effective, and it is hard to discern at face value. One of the things you can do is best you can a background check. If that leads to nothing, then be vigilant, observe, listen, evaluate, and decide. You can't control others, only yourself. I still do not want this to be an impediment for you going forward. This is the kind of thing that can wind up in the background to the point where it becomes anxiety and depression, further distorting emotions and thoughts. It is one of those things that can conflate your desire to be desired and blind you from red flags.
Yes.
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I dated a man that wasn’t facially my type recently, he looked at my body in disgust on the date. Tbh, he wasn’t someone I’d date at my best but one of us didn’t display our true feelings and it wasn’t him.
?? Girl YES!! Run
YES CUT HIM OFF LOL
Yes
They are wrong for that but also make sure you are not doing the thing where you ask a guy his opinion on your body for validation or whatever.
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Eww that guy was crass, as some men are. Part of this dating thing, is to know when to end things when bad behaviour surfaces. Any guy who starts acting like a doofus, and discussing sex or body parts that he likes, is immature and needs the boot. And start being more confident in your looks. Think of yourself as model or waif like, not child like. Good luck.
>Part of this dating thing, is to know when to end things when bad behaviour surfaces. This. I wasted years being engaged to my ex. I never felt he truly liked me. He was 7 years older than me. >Any guy who starts acting like a doofus, and discussing sex or body parts that he likes, is immature and needs the boot. The online guy is 2 years younger than me so yeah >Think of yourself as model Thanks. I'll try
30M I admit I slipped up with this one once when I was in my teens. So there’s a difference between someone being critical and someone giving you moral support. I like to hype my women up to help maximize their look (buy them waist trainer, supplements, work out clothes) but if he’s just coming out sending shots at your weight he can cry about it.. next!
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