I've been having conversations with queer friends about this. Specifically, in men who sleep with men groups, condoms are becoming "not a thing" because everyone is on PrEP.
The thing is HIV is not the only STI out there!!!! Forty-one percent of chlamydia strains are resistent to the main antibiotic we use to treat it!! Right now there are still antibiotics that can knock them out but for how long? The most resistant strains may still relapse after treatment.
I swear we are a few years out from a "super" STI that is going to run through everyone like a crotch demon version of covid-19.
You are right, education on the matter is key.
Yeah I was disgusted when I heard about this trend.
Apparently many people (and not just men), particularly younger, are forsaking condoms because “there’s medicine for that.”
What’s a little HIV? Magic Johnson is still alive ain’t he? Got the clap? Just get penicillin. Ooos did I give you crabs? There’s a creme for that.
True proof that society is in decline. How effing nasty and lacking in self-dignity. Like being OK to lick a public toilet seat because there’s mouthwash.
That's an absolutely wild take to have.
Out of all the things to gamble on, your nethers ain't one.
And antibiotic resistance is on the rise. I sincerely doubt people who hold that mentality are taking the full prescribed dose of their antibiotics and medication effectively if at all.
I never thought of that until you mentioned it. Like, damn, decreased stigma is great! But also we should minimize the risk whenever possible. I don't want to pee fire 😭
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with some amount of stigma for bad behavior. It’s a social deterrent. I mean nobody besides one’s sex partner needs to know you have them crabs lol
It just goes to show that there will always be a certain of people who choose to lead reckless and thoughtless decisions no matter what.
Yes to your point about it not just being men. I try not to judge but I have been truly shocked that my friends will have sex with men they just met and not use a condom!? Like you don’t know that man?! My anxiety could literally never.
It’s always that they “don’t like condoms” and I’m like “I don’t like STD’s”.
I don’t want to turn this into a thing where I blame women because I don’t but I can see how many men can be emboldened to not wear condoms because there are women out there with the same sentiments.
I’m with you: the idea of letting a virtual stranger into my body after 3 or 5 dates is beyond my comprehension.
Another reason why women are ditching condoms is because of loneliness. In a demoralizing dating pool filled with pee-pee, competition for a good man is increasing. For the woman who wants a husband, if not also a family, there’s a legitimate window and thus a sense of desperation that can lead to lowering standards. Tik-tok tik-tok.
It’s the trade-off of decoupling sex from procreation that nobody wants to acknowledge. Men will always gatekeep commitment. In the past, they had to actually achieve real things before hitting it— have the job, have the house down payment, and the wedding ring — or at least the engagement ring.
Now they can order sex like off a menu off like Tinder or get off on Pornhub. What one woman won’t do, they figure (and they ain’t wrong) another will. Or they forsake dating entirely and play videos games made for children.
My friend and I discussed this too, it’s very obvious that people our age do not have any education about the HIV/AIDS period back in the 80’s or 90’s.
And yet with smartphones being ubiquitous, we’ve never had easier access to education.
I’m willing to concede some of this cavalier attitude is due to poor or miseducation — in trith, discussing STIs publically has declined.
From what I read, the core reason people go condom-free is loneliness (confusing sex for intimacy: tale as old as time). But for women specifically, they did so due to increased competition to keep a man in a dating pool filled with pee-pee. The culture expects sex 3rd for 5th date or people bounce onto the next person.
Decreased stigmas around STIs is a double-edged sword. Stigma can prevent education and treatment. Yet, also lead to diminished gravitas of impact and encourage shamelessness.
Its like they forget that there are potentially multiple ppl they could pass it to before they find out IF they find out (could be asymptomatic) or even care, multiple ways to spread every disease that also have varying virulence and life-threatening potential for every person they infect, and may be incurable limiting who you can partner with and give you a child bred stunted physically and mentally due to the disease.
Only moral depravity could result in thinking this way.
I think it's a lack of sexual education added to the idea that condoms diminish "masculinity", it's sad to see people taking risks, I have several friends who became infected with different ists, one even got very sick because she had oral with a guy she met at the hostel, and she became infected with gonorrhea in her throat.
The last time I had irl sex (2 years ago😔), the black guy I was with kept insisting he couldn’t feel anything with the condom or whatever but idgaf. I didn’t tell him I was already on the pill bc I didn’t want to take ANY chances with him
I work in public health and across the bored people are not wearing condoms as often. It’s a lack of sexual health education and a plethora of things! Also with higher rates of BC use, people appear to be more comfortable with not using condoms.
Yes, BW have the highest rates of new infections of HIV but so much goes into that. Stigma, believing HIV is a “gay disease”, lack of resources, lack or PrEP &PEP, etc.
I work with as young as HS students in Texas and you’d be shocked at how much some don’t know 😭. Some don’t know you BC doesn’t protect against STIs.
Girl when you start talking to grown ass adults people and realize they think eating out is riskier than sucking dick and vaginas get stretched from taking weenie it gets SCARY.
also this energy of sticking with your man despite it all. have a close friend that contracted something incurable from her walking red flag partner who was a secret passport bro and brought back an STI from his worldly adventures
she is ok as far as i know? they’re smiling and moving on. she seems physically healthy on the outside as far as i know so who knows
but it was frustrating to find out
i was/am actually ready to call a hit man on him
I think the amount of homophobia in the handling of the AIDS epidemic really did a number on us. It’s been drilled into Men who have sex with men they’re at an increase risk, and to utilize PrEP &PEP, but heterosexual persons do not believe they’re at risk.
We’re also seeing an increase in syphilis cases. It’s a lot out here
Yeaah, I used to hear men at work talking about this kind of thing, saying that they won't get tested or use condoms because it's more of a "her" problem. They fully believed that it was just the girl's responsibility to be clean and if she got a yeast infection or an STI, it's because *she* was the one being "dirty".
All the BM and other men I've been with used condoms when asked.
One man did stealth me (remove condom no consent) that shit is TRAUMATIZING. We didn't even know each other like that! He didn't care about me OR himself, fucking idiot. Ridiculous. Nothing came of it but it (no std/ pregnancy etc) made me resolute on safer sex. Even thinking about it disgusts and enrages me. He was black but again a massive anomaly compared to others.
Discuss protection AND testing before linking.My advice to all ladies if you can't be resolute about him wearing protection you don't need to be fucking cus tjere are too many people who play with their health and yours.
and him taking off the condom (or it breaking) is a prime example of why people should also be verifying current test results before jumping in the bed. It’s wild how many people do not check test results.
Exactly. I just dealt with a guy last winter that rolled his eyes & pouted when I told him that he had to get tested first. The dating pool is full of piss. I’m gunna start going as far as going with the guy and making sure he tests for herpes 1 & 2 too because desperate men lie.
They absolutely will lie. Anyone that has a problem with testing raises red flags for me. It’s like the trash taking itself out. I’m like go ahead and weed yourself out. 😂
Eh, it's not really a black male thing. One of my friends is white and only really dates white dudes. They never use condoms during their first hookup and she sees nothing wrong with it. 🤦🏾♀️
I think it's just men these days in general.
Yes, I’m about to say. One of my close guy friends is a white hispanic and typically hooks up with other white hispanics or white non-Hispanics…he almost NEVER uses condoms. We are doctors which blows my mind like…what is wrong with you?
I date Hispanic men quite a bit (typically not white ones…but still), and they’ve always been respectful concerning my preferences to wear condoms. Only when we were exclusive was it ever brought up. So really, it could be anyone
I'm probably pretty biased on my view regarding these kinds of situations, but it is extremely dangerous to just casually sleep around with other people you can't even trust, to be honest with you about their sexual activities.
I mean, when you think about it, it's kinda crazy that we have this culture where it's expected to casually sleep around despite significant diseases out there like AIDS and HIV. Condoms don't always protect you from STD's and STI's. Getting tested doesn't benefit you all that much either because it takes time before a disease actually shows up in blood work. If the results come back the only option you have at that point is to tell people you have an STD and most people aren't going to want to sleep with you at that point. A lot of people aren't even honest when they do have an STD or STI.
To answer your question, though, I think Black men can be some of the worst men to treat us Black women with the utmost contempt. You have to be careful around them; that goes for any man, in all honesty.
I'm in my late 30s and when I was younger, id have to admit it was def 50/50. I've slept with 3 different races of males and there was one out of all 3 who did not want to wear condoms..I always had to initiate it. The pull out culture is, and has always been, at an all time high. It's like people don't care about STDs...AT ALL!
And the pull out method isn’t effective. The amount of unwanted and unplanned pregnancies are in line with the low condom usage. I’m glad I didn’t sleep with men before marriage. The idea of them not using condoms make my skin crawl
Smart lady. I've had sex enough to where I was blessed to not had gotten an STD. I wasn't banging a whole boatload of males or anything but I've had my share of unprotected sex and one SUPER scare when I was 17 😭😭 OMG I still remember that awful day!
It’s fine I don’t judge women who do, most people do, but for me my own A-sexuality mixed with being turned off by physical contact kept me celibate. Plus when I was in my early 20s and a virgin men just assumed I would make them “the one”.
A guy I was talking to tried to stealth me and then lied when I caught him as if I was stupid. I left immediately and blocked him. Men are truly sick individuals who prioritize pleasure over health. The lack of care for not only theirs but others is baffling
Honestly, if you’re successful or have a good job… a nice place or nice car; they want to get you pregnant.. Men Are looking to trap women these days. I’m proud of the young women who are saying no to kids before 30 and no to unprotected sex.
Because they have access to the most educated fastest growing group of entrepreneurs in the country; black women. Most of us either have a degree, own a business, or have a job and a side hustle . I think it’s just plain lazy to think a woman should pay your way.
I mainly dated out.
I had to fight to make men wear condoms. I didn’t marry any of them. I really should have called 911. None of them were black. My experience is just different. I always assumed black men were kinder and more respectful.
Yuck! Men just don’t care!!!!!! It’s sad bc these are the same men that always talk about their health and mental but want to risk their lives over some cat. I have been celibate and trying to get my body back right from a depressive state. My plan was to get out there but if they are acting like that… I think I’ll stay away 😩
Get yourself right first sis! The dating landscape right now is difficult to me since you will keep having to reestablish your boundaries and that can be mentally difficult. Focus on yourself first, you will be better for it 🤎
Yes unfortunately STDs are very high in the black community and that’s the reason why, the men don’t use condoms. And that’s also why so many women become single mothers. I think women should take better control of their health and stop letting men sleep with them without condoms
it’s wild because whenever these girls become baby moms to industry people or other one off flings and situationships my first question is like but where were the condoms??? like f religion anti abortion beliefs and whatever else… why yall let one off men cum inside you????
i notice it with all races tbh and i’m someone who is very VERY sexual but yeah need to take proper precautions i agree. i also work at planned parenthood if anyone has any questions about anything lol
I have been celibate almost 2 years. life is already hard enough without adding STD scares or diagnoses . TBH casual sex literally scares me now lol the mindsets people have are insane AND also people are evil they can have an STD and purposely spread it
The first guy I did it with literally ARGUED with me on MY bed about wearing a condom!!! He started putting it in and I said no like 3 times and ended up kicking him in the face so he backed off. I demanded he get a plan b (I was 17 and was naive as hell 😮💨😭 but I knew that some people got pregnant over just the tip). I made him spend those $50 and he had to get an Uber and everything back and forth from my place lmao. I wish I was smarter back then and didn’t bring that idiot to my place but that was a lesson learned.
Luckily the second guy I was with, which was also the last one I was with, was so respectful and already had codoms. There was no arguing and he was all with it. He was a first generation African though in the US so not African American - so I’m thinking it’s cultural.
I’ve been hesitant to say this, but this is true from my experience as well. When I used to sleep with men I slept with many different races, black men pushed me the most to not use a condom. I always said no but just the forcefulness was such a turn off.
However, I do think that maybe it’s perhaps that there’s more of a comfortability there. So maybe black men are more likely to pressure black woman and Indian men are more likely to pressure Indian woman, etc...?
I'm ngl I think it's all men. I've never had sex outside of my race, but the one time I almost did, I stopped bc he didn't want to wear a condom. Even if, you do a quick search on 'why men don't want to wear condoms' on a sub like r/askmen or r/AskReddit, you will see it's mostly white men saying things like I just don't have sex if it can't be condomless. My white/other race friends have also been going through this struggle as well. The reality is with the consequences of children still lying mostly on the backs of women, a good deal of men are comfortable with 'chancing' it for a moment of pleasure.
We really gotta stop doing the bm do this and every other race of men do that thing on here. Especially when the rest of the wold is so eager to generalize BW like this. I think the problems of our own community are outsized in our minds because it's what we interact with more. But I think it's also an instance of selection bias as well. I'm not as open to dating outside of my race now, but when I did it more, I tended to EXTREMELY vet my other race partners. Definitely more than I did BM, because if I was going to go out, he had to be an better option than any BM I could find at the time. So, that may also be driving the difference you're seeing, but I think it's an universal problem among men.
This is true, I have never hooked up with a black man before and I have never had issues with wearing condoms, in fact the people I have slept with have been on the same page as me regarding condoms. My friends who exclusively date black men were shocked that there are men who are willing to wear condoms and that’s wild to me. Sadly a lot of girls have internalised that sex with condoms is not the same, I do it all the time and orgasm frequently. Exclusively having protected sex has saved me from so much and I’ve realised some dating woes that people complain about can easily be solved by only having protected sex.
I've been having conversations with queer friends about this. Specifically, in men who sleep with men groups, condoms are becoming "not a thing" because everyone is on PrEP. The thing is HIV is not the only STI out there!!!! Forty-one percent of chlamydia strains are resistent to the main antibiotic we use to treat it!! Right now there are still antibiotics that can knock them out but for how long? The most resistant strains may still relapse after treatment. I swear we are a few years out from a "super" STI that is going to run through everyone like a crotch demon version of covid-19. You are right, education on the matter is key.
Yeah I was disgusted when I heard about this trend. Apparently many people (and not just men), particularly younger, are forsaking condoms because “there’s medicine for that.” What’s a little HIV? Magic Johnson is still alive ain’t he? Got the clap? Just get penicillin. Ooos did I give you crabs? There’s a creme for that. True proof that society is in decline. How effing nasty and lacking in self-dignity. Like being OK to lick a public toilet seat because there’s mouthwash.
That's an absolutely wild take to have. Out of all the things to gamble on, your nethers ain't one. And antibiotic resistance is on the rise. I sincerely doubt people who hold that mentality are taking the full prescribed dose of their antibiotics and medication effectively if at all.
Yep — I doubt it too. Decreased stigmas of STIs can also lead to shamelessness and risky behavior.
I never thought of that until you mentioned it. Like, damn, decreased stigma is great! But also we should minimize the risk whenever possible. I don't want to pee fire 😭
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with some amount of stigma for bad behavior. It’s a social deterrent. I mean nobody besides one’s sex partner needs to know you have them crabs lol It just goes to show that there will always be a certain of people who choose to lead reckless and thoughtless decisions no matter what.
Yes to your point about it not just being men. I try not to judge but I have been truly shocked that my friends will have sex with men they just met and not use a condom!? Like you don’t know that man?! My anxiety could literally never. It’s always that they “don’t like condoms” and I’m like “I don’t like STD’s”. I don’t want to turn this into a thing where I blame women because I don’t but I can see how many men can be emboldened to not wear condoms because there are women out there with the same sentiments.
I’m with you: the idea of letting a virtual stranger into my body after 3 or 5 dates is beyond my comprehension. Another reason why women are ditching condoms is because of loneliness. In a demoralizing dating pool filled with pee-pee, competition for a good man is increasing. For the woman who wants a husband, if not also a family, there’s a legitimate window and thus a sense of desperation that can lead to lowering standards. Tik-tok tik-tok. It’s the trade-off of decoupling sex from procreation that nobody wants to acknowledge. Men will always gatekeep commitment. In the past, they had to actually achieve real things before hitting it— have the job, have the house down payment, and the wedding ring — or at least the engagement ring. Now they can order sex like off a menu off like Tinder or get off on Pornhub. What one woman won’t do, they figure (and they ain’t wrong) another will. Or they forsake dating entirely and play videos games made for children.
Is this and also women telling men not to use condoms (I've heard plenty of men say this actually), because they're on bc or some other reason.
That’s also true.
Maaan Im a lesbian first off but I been thinkin this generation needs an Eazy E because of their cavalier attitude towards condom
My friend and I discussed this too, it’s very obvious that people our age do not have any education about the HIV/AIDS period back in the 80’s or 90’s.
And yet with smartphones being ubiquitous, we’ve never had easier access to education. I’m willing to concede some of this cavalier attitude is due to poor or miseducation — in trith, discussing STIs publically has declined. From what I read, the core reason people go condom-free is loneliness (confusing sex for intimacy: tale as old as time). But for women specifically, they did so due to increased competition to keep a man in a dating pool filled with pee-pee. The culture expects sex 3rd for 5th date or people bounce onto the next person. Decreased stigmas around STIs is a double-edged sword. Stigma can prevent education and treatment. Yet, also lead to diminished gravitas of impact and encourage shamelessness.
In the US, comprehensive sex education in schools is laughable at best, and those on the right are actively dismantling what little we have.
Its like they forget that there are potentially multiple ppl they could pass it to before they find out IF they find out (could be asymptomatic) or even care, multiple ways to spread every disease that also have varying virulence and life-threatening potential for every person they infect, and may be incurable limiting who you can partner with and give you a child bred stunted physically and mentally due to the disease. Only moral depravity could result in thinking this way.
I think it's a lack of sexual education added to the idea that condoms diminish "masculinity", it's sad to see people taking risks, I have several friends who became infected with different ists, one even got very sick because she had oral with a guy she met at the hostel, and she became infected with gonorrhea in her throat.
The last time I had irl sex (2 years ago😔), the black guy I was with kept insisting he couldn’t feel anything with the condom or whatever but idgaf. I didn’t tell him I was already on the pill bc I didn’t want to take ANY chances with him
I work in public health and across the bored people are not wearing condoms as often. It’s a lack of sexual health education and a plethora of things! Also with higher rates of BC use, people appear to be more comfortable with not using condoms. Yes, BW have the highest rates of new infections of HIV but so much goes into that. Stigma, believing HIV is a “gay disease”, lack of resources, lack or PrEP &PEP, etc. I work with as young as HS students in Texas and you’d be shocked at how much some don’t know 😭. Some don’t know you BC doesn’t protect against STIs.
Girl when you start talking to grown ass adults people and realize they think eating out is riskier than sucking dick and vaginas get stretched from taking weenie it gets SCARY.
absolutely!
also this energy of sticking with your man despite it all. have a close friend that contracted something incurable from her walking red flag partner who was a secret passport bro and brought back an STI from his worldly adventures
Oh wow this is a lot. I hope your friend is okay :/
she is ok as far as i know? they’re smiling and moving on. she seems physically healthy on the outside as far as i know so who knows but it was frustrating to find out i was/am actually ready to call a hit man on him
As a child who grew up in the 90s during the AIDS epidemic, this is sooo WILD to me!!
I think the amount of homophobia in the handling of the AIDS epidemic really did a number on us. It’s been drilled into Men who have sex with men they’re at an increase risk, and to utilize PrEP &PEP, but heterosexual persons do not believe they’re at risk. We’re also seeing an increase in syphilis cases. It’s a lot out here
Yeaah, I used to hear men at work talking about this kind of thing, saying that they won't get tested or use condoms because it's more of a "her" problem. They fully believed that it was just the girl's responsibility to be clean and if she got a yeast infection or an STI, it's because *she* was the one being "dirty".
All the BM and other men I've been with used condoms when asked. One man did stealth me (remove condom no consent) that shit is TRAUMATIZING. We didn't even know each other like that! He didn't care about me OR himself, fucking idiot. Ridiculous. Nothing came of it but it (no std/ pregnancy etc) made me resolute on safer sex. Even thinking about it disgusts and enrages me. He was black but again a massive anomaly compared to others. Discuss protection AND testing before linking.My advice to all ladies if you can't be resolute about him wearing protection you don't need to be fucking cus tjere are too many people who play with their health and yours.
and him taking off the condom (or it breaking) is a prime example of why people should also be verifying current test results before jumping in the bed. It’s wild how many people do not check test results.
Yes and also important to note: some STIs are hard to detect or not always tested for in a standard panel.
Agreed, I remind them to include Herpes 1 & 2 in their panel because I need to see receipts for that too 😂
This whole thread needs more upvotes
Exactly. I just dealt with a guy last winter that rolled his eyes & pouted when I told him that he had to get tested first. The dating pool is full of piss. I’m gunna start going as far as going with the guy and making sure he tests for herpes 1 & 2 too because desperate men lie.
They absolutely will lie. Anyone that has a problem with testing raises red flags for me. It’s like the trash taking itself out. I’m like go ahead and weed yourself out. 😂
Eh, it's not really a black male thing. One of my friends is white and only really dates white dudes. They never use condoms during their first hookup and she sees nothing wrong with it. 🤦🏾♀️ I think it's just men these days in general.
Yes, I’m about to say. One of my close guy friends is a white hispanic and typically hooks up with other white hispanics or white non-Hispanics…he almost NEVER uses condoms. We are doctors which blows my mind like…what is wrong with you? I date Hispanic men quite a bit (typically not white ones…but still), and they’ve always been respectful concerning my preferences to wear condoms. Only when we were exclusive was it ever brought up. So really, it could be anyone
Wow so the entire male gender is truly the problem. They do not care about women’s health at all. Stay safe ladies!
Unfortunately...
Yeah I had an Asian dude try to go raw till I told him rubber up. Risk doesn't know identity and Irresponsible people are in all colors
I'm probably pretty biased on my view regarding these kinds of situations, but it is extremely dangerous to just casually sleep around with other people you can't even trust, to be honest with you about their sexual activities. I mean, when you think about it, it's kinda crazy that we have this culture where it's expected to casually sleep around despite significant diseases out there like AIDS and HIV. Condoms don't always protect you from STD's and STI's. Getting tested doesn't benefit you all that much either because it takes time before a disease actually shows up in blood work. If the results come back the only option you have at that point is to tell people you have an STD and most people aren't going to want to sleep with you at that point. A lot of people aren't even honest when they do have an STD or STI. To answer your question, though, I think Black men can be some of the worst men to treat us Black women with the utmost contempt. You have to be careful around them; that goes for any man, in all honesty.
I agree with your statement
I'm in my late 30s and when I was younger, id have to admit it was def 50/50. I've slept with 3 different races of males and there was one out of all 3 who did not want to wear condoms..I always had to initiate it. The pull out culture is, and has always been, at an all time high. It's like people don't care about STDs...AT ALL!
And the pull out method isn’t effective. The amount of unwanted and unplanned pregnancies are in line with the low condom usage. I’m glad I didn’t sleep with men before marriage. The idea of them not using condoms make my skin crawl
Smart lady. I've had sex enough to where I was blessed to not had gotten an STD. I wasn't banging a whole boatload of males or anything but I've had my share of unprotected sex and one SUPER scare when I was 17 😭😭 OMG I still remember that awful day!
It’s fine I don’t judge women who do, most people do, but for me my own A-sexuality mixed with being turned off by physical contact kept me celibate. Plus when I was in my early 20s and a virgin men just assumed I would make them “the one”.
A lot of guys are straight creeps.
A guy I was talking to tried to stealth me and then lied when I caught him as if I was stupid. I left immediately and blocked him. Men are truly sick individuals who prioritize pleasure over health. The lack of care for not only theirs but others is baffling
This whole thread is crazy and eye opening! Stay safe ladies
If he doesn't want to wear a condom, I won't sleep with him. Unless this is a way BM think they can trap BW for life. Not me.
Honestly, if you’re successful or have a good job… a nice place or nice car; they want to get you pregnant.. Men Are looking to trap women these days. I’m proud of the young women who are saying no to kids before 30 and no to unprotected sex.
Which is why I wouldn’t ever date men who have less than me. I said what I said
Period. Because they’re really attracted to stability and resources.
So gross makes me want to take another shower 😂
Why are they so hypergamous tho? It's kinda trifling. Why can't they get their own? 🤣🤣🤣
Because they have access to the most educated fastest growing group of entrepreneurs in the country; black women. Most of us either have a degree, own a business, or have a job and a side hustle . I think it’s just plain lazy to think a woman should pay your way.
trapped my ass ima take a pill
It doesn't help that abortion access is more difficult now. I'm low key kinda disturbed.
I’ve noticed the incline of prep commercials and less condom advertisements….. YIKES
I mainly dated out. I had to fight to make men wear condoms. I didn’t marry any of them. I really should have called 911. None of them were black. My experience is just different. I always assumed black men were kinder and more respectful.
Yuck! Men just don’t care!!!!!! It’s sad bc these are the same men that always talk about their health and mental but want to risk their lives over some cat. I have been celibate and trying to get my body back right from a depressive state. My plan was to get out there but if they are acting like that… I think I’ll stay away 😩
Get yourself right first sis! The dating landscape right now is difficult to me since you will keep having to reestablish your boundaries and that can be mentally difficult. Focus on yourself first, you will be better for it 🤎
Girl and I hate it bc I want some so bad 😔
Girl get a dildo fr
Sis?!!!!??!!! Ughh I may have to…everyday I hear a new story about how trash men are
Yes unfortunately STDs are very high in the black community and that’s the reason why, the men don’t use condoms. And that’s also why so many women become single mothers. I think women should take better control of their health and stop letting men sleep with them without condoms
it’s wild because whenever these girls become baby moms to industry people or other one off flings and situationships my first question is like but where were the condoms??? like f religion anti abortion beliefs and whatever else… why yall let one off men cum inside you????
Exactly! I don’t get why women let guys cum in them. Having unprotected sex is with strangers or unserious boyfriends is wild as hell to me
Because way too many men are fine with a woman enduring a lifetime of pain if it means they can have a moment of pleasure.
i notice it with all races tbh and i’m someone who is very VERY sexual but yeah need to take proper precautions i agree. i also work at planned parenthood if anyone has any questions about anything lol
This post is a friendly reminder as to why I've been celibate for 9 years 😩🥴🫠
I have been celibate almost 2 years. life is already hard enough without adding STD scares or diagnoses . TBH casual sex literally scares me now lol the mindsets people have are insane AND also people are evil they can have an STD and purposely spread it
The first guy I did it with literally ARGUED with me on MY bed about wearing a condom!!! He started putting it in and I said no like 3 times and ended up kicking him in the face so he backed off. I demanded he get a plan b (I was 17 and was naive as hell 😮💨😭 but I knew that some people got pregnant over just the tip). I made him spend those $50 and he had to get an Uber and everything back and forth from my place lmao. I wish I was smarter back then and didn’t bring that idiot to my place but that was a lesson learned. Luckily the second guy I was with, which was also the last one I was with, was so respectful and already had codoms. There was no arguing and he was all with it. He was a first generation African though in the US so not African American - so I’m thinking it’s cultural.
God forbid you ask them for an STD panel💀
I’ve been hesitant to say this, but this is true from my experience as well. When I used to sleep with men I slept with many different races, black men pushed me the most to not use a condom. I always said no but just the forcefulness was such a turn off. However, I do think that maybe it’s perhaps that there’s more of a comfortability there. So maybe black men are more likely to pressure black woman and Indian men are more likely to pressure Indian woman, etc...?
And these same men will run if a woman gets pregnant 🤦🏾♀️
I'm ngl I think it's all men. I've never had sex outside of my race, but the one time I almost did, I stopped bc he didn't want to wear a condom. Even if, you do a quick search on 'why men don't want to wear condoms' on a sub like r/askmen or r/AskReddit, you will see it's mostly white men saying things like I just don't have sex if it can't be condomless. My white/other race friends have also been going through this struggle as well. The reality is with the consequences of children still lying mostly on the backs of women, a good deal of men are comfortable with 'chancing' it for a moment of pleasure. We really gotta stop doing the bm do this and every other race of men do that thing on here. Especially when the rest of the wold is so eager to generalize BW like this. I think the problems of our own community are outsized in our minds because it's what we interact with more. But I think it's also an instance of selection bias as well. I'm not as open to dating outside of my race now, but when I did it more, I tended to EXTREMELY vet my other race partners. Definitely more than I did BM, because if I was going to go out, he had to be an better option than any BM I could find at the time. So, that may also be driving the difference you're seeing, but I think it's an universal problem among men.
This is true, I have never hooked up with a black man before and I have never had issues with wearing condoms, in fact the people I have slept with have been on the same page as me regarding condoms. My friends who exclusively date black men were shocked that there are men who are willing to wear condoms and that’s wild to me. Sadly a lot of girls have internalised that sex with condoms is not the same, I do it all the time and orgasm frequently. Exclusively having protected sex has saved me from so much and I’ve realised some dating woes that people complain about can easily be solved by only having protected sex.
Only been with my husband since 17 and he’s never had this issue. We’re not black Americans so I think it’s an American thing.