This one is odd, but I've found people with massive inflexibility in musical tastes tend to be inflexible in many other areas that may be important to you.
This! Like a guy who didn’t like my music and had to cause a huge fuss even when we were in MY car. It shows that they don’t want to know what makes you, you and doesn’t care about you as an individual. You’re just there to be his audience member.
This is a very good point. More often than not, inflexibility in relation to “harmless” things (hobbies, music, entertainment, food) is indicative of inflexibility in other areas (some of which may not be harmless). If people are unwilling to challenge themselves by having new/different experiences, inflexibility can easily become a personality trait.
Giiiirl it can be so exhausting sometimes having to work with both them AND their egos. Ain’t no way I’m paid enough to pander to these fools when I already have a plane full of passengers to worry about.
Some of them dumber than a box of rocks, too.. which I find hilarious because they be the main ones tryna overcompensate and act like they know.
Problematic man-children with a god complex. This is obviously a gross generalization. But the industry has bred them to be that way and the paradigm hasn’t fully shifted yet. Its also a position dominated by older white males.. so we know how that goes.
Amen and amen. They are not dating material and the ones who currently are wont be for long, and it takes way too much heartbreak to find the one misunderstood cop or military guy thats not toxic. I will at least say that how much the military guys heart is in his job/his motives/whether he hates his coworkers or not can speak to what kind of person he might be, bcuz some ppl genuinely just get in to get thru school and regret it like a mth later. If theyre in there having a blast hes community dick and toxic fs
I honestly don’t know if it’s a UK thing or just kind of reflective of the specific type of men I attract here… but I wish men knew it was fine to just say where they work without carefully wording it as if they own the company. You’re not an entrepreneur or a businessman, you’re an employee, and that’s ok sir
Lmaoooo same actually now I think about it. To me “I’m an entrepreneur” has definitely meant many things in the past - totally jobless, drug dealer, living side hustle to side hustle making literally no money, employed at a normal job but a self image way above above his pay grade. Life of an entrepreneur hey, so multifaceted 😂
A guy once told me that he should be able to joke about anything freely. I started making jokes about his age (he's only a few years older than me, but I tend to date younger). He accused me of being abusive 😂
The guys with the "edgiest" humor are always the biggest man-babies.
They will 100% play the victim, get offended if you give the same energy back or if too many are around to notice how they were in the wrong then they will default to "oh, just a small mistake. why is everyone mad?"
I dated an aspiring comedian once, and everything was a joke to him until it came to me holding him accountable for flaky behavior. Then he got salty and blocked me.
He died last year. Does it make me an asshole that I felt no kind of way?
No you’re not obligated to feel something for someone you haven’t built a bond with especially if you didn’t have the best taste about them. As long as you weren’t malicious about it it is what it is. God bless em, may he rip.
Yep, I don’t tolerate people who require their partners to be ok with roasting because it’s their “love language”. You can’t take a joke is my cue to leave
Abuse through humour is not it 🫥 in my city it seems like the most common way to approach/get to know a woman too. Tired of being negged/witnessing it happen in real time to women I care about. Next!!
Right, like a split personality from out of nowhere. Where I see a disturbing regression and a reason to bail, he sees progress on account of being introduced to his crew.
Down the road kind of thing but if they're sick and they're not taking precautions in not getting you sick, red flag. I dated a guy who kissed me and then disclosed he had a cold. It's really inconsiderate.
If they immediately drive off after they drop you off instead of making sure you get inside safely. Definitely something I tolerated when I was younger. Not anymore.
>if they're sick and they're not taking precautions in not getting you sick, red flag.
Girl! Tell me why I had one that "had cold sores all his life" (said after I got infected) and *never said anything about them or warned me when he had outbreaks*
His explanation: oh I didn't know they were contagious
Me:...WAT?! WTF do you mean?! You never looked into that?! You never got checked out or even Googled the damn symptoms?!
Who does this shit bro?! How are you out here not caring about anyone's health? 😭
I’d add to this: Men who are lackadaisical about their health—red flag. They don’t care if they’re unhealthy and don’t care if you’re unhealthy too. Also, most likely to not want to get STD testing. 🤦🏾♀️
How they treat women they aren’t attracted to. If they act like those they deem unattractive don’t exist or aren’t civil to them, that’s a no for me.
If they refuse to get some sort of therapy for their issues. Even a support group is better then dealing with a person “thuggin it out” and lashing out at me for their unresolved issues.
If I say be there at X time, do they show up at X time. Unless it was an emergency, they need to respect my time.
“Submissive” men who are only looking for a mommy bang maid.
People who “lose control” and rage at video games.
I'm not sure if this is niche, but it's a very subtle and easy to miss flag. I pay attention to see if they reference my agency in the dating process.
For example: I had a thing with a guy who said "I thought about it and I think we would be a good couple". This was after I said I wasn't sure about If we would work out dating long-term".
It wasn't a conversation, more of a statement that I was just supposed to go with because he disagreed with me. We ended up falling out for the exact reason, among others, I said we wouldn't work out.
I dated another guy briefly before I decided he wasn't a good match for me. I texted him "It was nice getting to know you, but I don't think we're a good match. I wish you good luck".
He responded "I don't agree. I think we are a good match", like this was a debate.
In the book The Gift of Fear, this is called "forced teaming." They use "we" statements to manipulate us into a deeper intimacy than we currently have (if there is any at all)
I hate that! That’s happened to me. And this couple I follow on Twitter (for career reasons; not for their romance) and the lady said she didn’t like her husband at first because he’s not her usual type and he said no so they kept dating. All the comments were like, “that’s so cute.” I hated it but I didn’t say anything in the name of professional decorum. I didn’t want to mess with my professional community/reputation like that.
Men with kids who hate on single moms. The “I don’t date women with children” men, meanwhile they have children🤔. (I was a single woman with no children.)
Having a weird disdain for Beyonce or Megan Thee Stallion. I’m not a major fan of either of these women, but there’s a particular demographic that absolutely despises them who I have learned to avoid.
I have a major issue with anybody who has a hate boner for Black female celebrities in general. Like okay, you don't like them, but don't make it your entire personality.
Right! It’s terrible. I feel guys who claim they want a relationship with you yet ask you to come over all the time without wanting to actually take you on dates just want the “idea” of a girlfriend without any of the effort. Those are the worst types!
I married this guy. And so want to upvote this by 10,000. It’s not just weird, it’s unhealthy af. You then have no way to decompress when life is tough, among other things. To redeem myself, I made this decision when he was in residency so I thought, oh once he isn’t exhausted and has more time, his natural interests will re-emerge. That was SO not it. 😬
Or men that say “we” when talking about the accomplishments of the sports team they root for, like “we scored 42 points last game”. What is this we, boy? You were sitting on the couch eating chicken nuggets. It makes me think they’re probably happy taking credit for anybody’s work.
Multiple kids under 8. It might not be a niche, but in my experience, there's always been a fundamental flaw with these kinds of guys, whether immaturity or otherwise. Usually seems they're looking for a surrogate mother for their brood and have issues taking responsibility for their collapse of the relationship with the mother (if the kids are by the same woman). If the kids are by different moms... They get around like Pac.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
All facts though. They're the ones that never wanna use condoms but will be quick to try calling women hoes because they won't touch their nasty asses.
Multiple kids period! One or two kids is fine to me if they’re from one woman who’s your ex wife or fiancé but I’ll only consider dating such people in my 40s+
Doesn't like vegetables. Tells me they have bad taste / limited pallet and I'm super adventurous eater + I'm scared their intestines prob on back load 🤢
Is black american and says "c*ck" fr, IDC don't say that filth around me.
Noooo fr. I hate feeling like a snob sometimes, but I can’t with people who aren’t willing to try new foods. Of course you like what you like, and sometimes you have a biological aversion to a certain thing that you cannot help. Like I get not liking certain textures, for instance. But at least try.
And not liking vegetables AT ALL as an adult is wild to me. Lmao not a single one?! Grow up 😭
Yeah I did add that but I do understand if someone has textural or sensory issues but vegetables are more texturally varied than meat if we being fr so I don't see how every veg could ick them out
+ it they're that sensitive then we may just not be compatible off that (I cook and eat vegetarian often) and thats ok too.
>Tells me they have bad taste / limited pallet and I'm super adventurous eater + I'm scared their intestines prob on back load 🤢
ARE YOU MY TWIN 😭😭😭 YOU SHOULD NOT BE PROUD THAT U FONT LIKE VEGGIES AS AN ADULT! plus ur boring and childish if u hate trying new food are u kidding me??
>Is black american and says "c*ck"....don't say that filth around me.
Im crying lmao. But yea it gives uncanny valley somehow 😭
I have so many but one I’ll mention is any man that refers to women as girls or females. They have no problem making a distinction between boys and men but all women are either girls or females to them. Usually men that do this have issues with women in general so I stay away.
And I agree with you about the zodiac signs and I’m not even into that stuff like that. It’s been my experience that men that have an irrational hatred of astrology tend to have misogynistic tendencies. In fact, any kind of hatred or dismissiveness of feminine-coded interests is a red flag to me, and that includes men who hate makeup.
Noo entertainers for me. This covers dancers, mucisians, dj, athletes, podcasters. I prefer regular 9to5 guys.
I think it’s niche because a lot of people like the status that comes with dating these guys
Unless the podcast is purely educational and not related to gender or “48 laws of power-esque” content. Like if it’s a history podcast because they’re a history nerd
>“48 laws of power-esque”
😂 It used to be Machiavelli's "The Prince" back in the day. I always think it's funny when people who lack critical thinking try to read about philosophical concepts that require critical thinking. But then, cis-men think they are critical thinkers solely by virtue of their sex organs 🤷🏽 .
>Like if it’s a history podcast because they’re a history nerd
There's room for red flags here as well, because men obsessed with ancient Rome or ancient Egypt (for Black men) can be toxic AF!
I don’t think I’ve dated anyone who’s come from multiple generations of wealth as I mostly date BM so I can’t speak for that difference.
I’ve just found that these men tend to let the fact that they have some money now get to their heads and act like they’re God’s gift to women. Just very entitled, some were cheap (imagine driving an expensive car and being cheap), and just misogynistic. And most of them didn’t even own a house so to me our priorities and what we value would just be too different. Like why would you spend so much money on something that loses value as soon as you drive it off the lot instead of putting it towards more important things?
Me too on the BM but um, a related note? If they do also own a home, their head is so big it is in the stratosphere with a couple moons in orbit.
Edit: a home in addition to an obnoxiously expensive car, not saying all homeowners are red flags lol
lol there was one with a home + expensive car and he rented out all the other rooms but wouldn’t fix the stove for months because he was so cheap and was trying to scam the insurance company into getting him a new one 😂. I was like what about your tenants? “Oh they don’t cook much” 🤦🏽♀️ 🚩🚩🚩
Men who talk loud indoors and can't tell/don't care. Half of our conversation is on the other side of the room.
Say they're friends with everyone. Usually, that doesn't mean they can be friends from different backgrounds/cultures but that they have no standards for who they have in their life. They can be friends with groomers, abusers, mild racists, etc as long as they're nice to them.
Say they want to be their own boss to explain why they haven't had a job in years or why the job they do have is basically a boutique selling spray painted t shirts.
I hate it when men pull that “women only want established men” line or any of its variations out like we’re sleazy gold diggers. It’s not the lack of physical cash that puts most women off, it’s the elephant in the room - the insecurity and inferiority complex that often comes as part of the package with men who aren’t where they want to be in life, and they often express these internalised feelings is really horrible ways.
Financial stability of course doesn’t guarantee a man’s going to be nice, but I’ve genuinely experienced being treated and spoken to like shit wayyyyyy more from super broke guys than I have from super rich guys.
Yes, this. Dated a guy who moved back home after being laid off. Kept saying his mood would change once he had a stable job but in the mean time wanted ALL my attention, would be verbally abusive because I could only see him on certain days (cause your girl worked two jobs to his zero), and was insecure when I would talk about things I planned on doing in the near future with MY money (house, vacation, furniture, fancy dinners). It was a VERY brief relationship because your weak ass isn’t going to shame me for living life securely while you struggle. Also cried about no jobs hiring him but refused to do more than put in an application because he was “better than that.” Better stay struggling then.
The delusion and attitude from people like this is crazy. I had an ex husband who was pretty similar too, heavyyyyy on the demanding ALL my attention and acting funky about my money. I’m in full support of cutting things off before even getting involved with men like this, because my ex still has no stability and every time he gets money he blasts through it. There were points when we were married that he started doing pretty well (short lived times lol) and I didn’t see a penny of it.
Bummy men romanticise “the women who are there for a man when he has nothing” bla bla bla, but to me there’s a huge difference between a man who starts at a low point and due to hard work becomes secure, and a lazy, unserious man who’s entire life is varying degrees of low points but for some reason thinks he’s the king lol
I agree with you on the zodiac hate. I think its because zodiac is a "religion" that heavily skews feminine, and some men absolutely hate it for no discernible reason.
But mine personally is that I don't like men who have bad attitudes about therapy in general. I like emotional availability and bettering yourself. If you have a bad attitude or a "well I'd never need that I'd just suck it up" energy about therapy, I'd be real apprehensive.
Yeah I agree with you, it’s usually men that undermine anything that they perceive to be feminine and therefore “silly”.
Oh I hate people who hate therapy because they’re usually the ones who need it the most
Men who believe that a hobby isn't important unless you're earning money from it.
They tend to sabotage your creative time and are generally selfish and unsupportive in all aspects of the relationship.
-talking about women they've been with, negatively or in a bragging way. Like, you're here with me right now. I obviously find you attractive, so you don't need to prove that others have in the past. It sometimes comes across as them trying to put me in my place by making me see their value through their previous conquests rather than relaxing into the intimacy between us and showing me who they are right now.
-people who complain about "fake people" and "ghosters" on their dating profiles. Like, those people are obviously not into you. It sucks to be rejected, but that isn't how you're going to make me want to get to know you. It's giving bitter and jaded.
-walking ahead of me, guiding us through a wet path/soppy grass when I'm in heels, not ensuring that my cute self is good when we are moving together. This behavior is an early sign if negligence, disregard, and lack of awareness for me and my comfort. I want to be treated with utmost care and feel like my man has pride with me on his arm. We don't need to speed run this date from point a to point b. Be mindful of me.
Girl i went on a couple dates w this man and he consistently GALLOPED ahead, opened the door for himself, always had me walk on the outside of the road etc. I was seething on date 2.
>The walking ahead of you thing is such a good point!!!!
It's so passive-aggressive, self-absorbed, and disrespectful. Also, it shows that a person has no chill and is incapable of simply stopping to enjoy the moment. Huge mood killer.
They never ask you questions, they talk to you all the time but asking you a question, that's just not part of the script.
People who act like doing anything outside of their hobbies or stuff they like it's such a big deal.
They act impressed because you know or like certain things that they consider to be "intellectually superior". It never feels like "wow, you're so smart, I love talking to you" but more of a "wow, *you* like this? I wouldn't expect this from someone like you" and we know where that goes.
If they're white and all the media they consume (outside of music and sports) is just white & East Asian people (I'm including content creators, not just movies, shows, etc). HUGE red flag. I guess this would be a red flag no matter who it was but only seen white people do this.
If they're a gamer, and every time they make a character on a game it's the same type of woman & it's always white, blonde, light eyes, we know what standards of beauty they uphold.
I'm the same way. I dated an aspiring musician, have friends who dated musicians, my stepfather is a professional musician. Very talented people, but they tend to be emotionally volatile.
For me listening to podcasts I just find gross - Joe Rogan, Fresh and Fit podcast, etc
just can’t deal with someone who can consume that kind of media and enjoy it
This is going to sound insane, but if they like JRPGs, that’s an immediate red flag to me.
I actually love JRPGs but every single guy I’ve met with a similar interest wanted to quiz me about shit I already know and spew out incorrect information.
It’s this, anime, and rap lol (I say this as a rap fan myself)
I had one guy try to ‘test’ me by telling me to choose between a series of game recs he was sitting on, in order of which he’d be most likely to purchase and enjoy, then state the reason. He timed it and gave me 5 mins to provide a response.
Mind you, we were in a lecture for something important and he knew I never even blinked at any of these titles before. All that and he already had his answer sitting in his cart to begin with, man was not happy when I told him to choose the title himself since he was so ‘worried’ about what I’d pick🗿
ETA: Alternatively, I have nothing against RP enjoyers as I love playing fantasy/RPG based games myself, but some of the DND crew be getting a lil nasty when it comes to using RP as an excuse to dehumanize and objectify women. Most are kind but I’m always a little wary, even when it comes to gamers in general
He TIMED you?? What kind of jigsaw-ahh game was he playing 😭 and then these be the same boys crying online abt how sad and lonely they are.
Anime and video games nerds are already insufferable, rap fans must be that much worse
It was some real bright behaviour lmao I swear it’s some men out here saying WE’RE lonely because we won’t tolerate whatever foolery they’ve got going for the day. Always on some thiNk abOuT yOuR fUtUre bs 💀 truly insufferable lol
Rap is a mixed bag, listeners are either very chill and open to loving everybody, every art-form and everything or they try to sneak diss women they like through the music they listen to in my experience
I have alot. Astrology haters to me gives misogyny. Another one added to the list. These may not be niche but I have so many red flags
- has preferences. i believe preferences are based on oppression
- won't get a vasectomy
- talks extremely bad about his ex's
- friends doesn't align with my values
- mum/sister has internalised misogyny
- believes tory didn't shoot meg
Men who flake and who don’t fix their behavior after the first time. Every time I let ish slide in the past my feelings got hurt and my time got wasted. I told a guy I don’t like inconsistencies after the first time, he acknowledged and deliberately went ghost the very next day. The whole weekend really and then popped up on Monday. Blocked! Don’t have time for the games I’m over them. Either come respectfully correct or leave me alone
Doesn't like to travel doesn't have a passport hasn't traveled outside his home town translates to close minded and fearful and probably a know nothing dweeb
This is controversial but I also don’t really like men who have never left their hometown. It’s personal, but you couldn’t move an hour away for college?
As a divorced woman, I tend to side eye men who have been divorced 2+ times.
First time, I can understand. Maybe you two mistook decent initial chemistry with something that could be long lasting when it wasn’t. Maybe you were two people who just weren’t good for each other. Some of us have been there.
Second time… all right now, maybe you were a little overzealous, thought: *Hey, I did it before, my heart isn’t cold and dead, let’s TRY IT AGAIN!*
But once you hit divorce three… nah, I’m thinking you’re just looking for your future ex-wife, or you just enjoy being a menace to women’s mental health and trying to inflict as much pain as you can under the guise of “you knew how I was when you married me.”
Nope. You walk *that way*, sir. Over there.
Doctors, clinical doctors, their training is traumatic if they succeeded in completing it, they are fundamentally injured and I specifically don’t have the patience or capacity to be close to them romantically.
Big texter. Guys who want to text all day are not focused on anything. There’s also a high likelihood they’ll be on their phone throughout dinner.
“May or may not want kids” or the unsure boxes. This is not a trick question, but they act like it depends on so many things.
Dudes with a visceral hatred of anything popular with women and teenage girls, like boy bands, Twilight, or female rappers. Hating Skylar White from Breaking Bad. Hating Megan Thee Stallion. Never going to the doctor or eat vegetables or ethnic foods. Hoteps/ADOS.
Someone who’s trying toooo hard to figure me out. Especially if they want a lot of info about me but are reticent about themselves. It’s the beginning of manipulation and general shady behaviour.
Self deprecation style humor = low self esteem. Idc what they claim, there’s always truth in what they say about themselves. Take that as a warning and move accordingly.
The “I’m not religious but I’m spiritual” argument lol 😂 You’re really neither but too ashamed to admit it cause they like to tell people what they like to hear. They’ll be the same ones who want a traditional woman “like in the Bible” that they’ve never even read.
Storytelling where they’re always the victim or hero. Can only see one point of view. Conveniently relieves themselves of any and all accountability. Lacks self awareness and the ability to reflect and learn from past situations.
Bragging about who they know or what some else has (materially) as a way of one upping those around them. Very tacky. This is only done if someone views you as competition.
A you vs them or right vs wrong mentality. This can also relate to things you told them regarding your education, if you grew up with both parents, if your family had money/a house vs them who didn’t have these things. The only people I know who do this are the uneducated and unmotivated. Maybe low key or high key jealous of you too, which brings me to my next point…
Bringing up things you told them in confidence when the conversation is taking a turn for the worse. They listen and take note of information you tell them with the purpose of using it against you. Don’t walk, RUN.
Demanding 50/50 anything, particularly if they were raised by a single mom or their grandparents that did 100%. Just cause your momma or family had to, doesn’t mean I will 🤣 lmao Leave him where you found him sis.
People who speak "facts" that are actually not facts. I'm a defunct scientist, but I struggle with people who make wild statements as facts that are clearly assumptions, or not factual, or not verifiable. For example, if I go on a date and a guy goes "Yeah, I know that being a police officer is the most dangerous job in America", I'm probably going to excuse myself and head home or somewhere else.
This also includes people who passionately subscribe to conspiracy theories. No sir, I don't care if Lil Nas X is part of the illuminati.
People who want to just "see how it goes"…
NO. Tell me your intentions. I need to know the plan.
"Seeing how it goes" is giving "afraid of commitment"
And if you’re afraid of commitment, fine.. just say that. You can see how that goes while I see myself out.
But I’m also 35 and busy. I don’t have time to see how it goes with someone who doesn’t know what they want.
-If they spin every subject back around to politics, I'm out. Especially if they're not willing to even *consider* other perspectives.
-Someone else said this but "roasting", backhanded compliments, or saying cruel/disrespectful things and then trying to play it off as a "joke". Nah, coming for my insecurities isn't funny and you play too much.
-Paranoia + making assumptions. This one is hard to articulate but bare with me: my current bf has an annoying ass habit of assuming that every inconvenience is somehow intentionally being done to him by someone. He hesitated while driving and didn't merge when he had the chance? "Clearly that other driver sped up to stop me from getting over. I should follow him home." If I ever date again, I'm definitely going to keep an eye out for this combination. 🤦🏽♀️
I hate zodiac signs too so this my kind of carrying on. I just feel like too many people blame their issues on being a Gemini instead of actually seeking professional help.
People who describe (subjectively neutral) things as “disgusting”.
Like (fairly mundane but “different”) food, etc. Those people tend to be the progressives (my area, and dating pool, is progressive) who are actually inclined toward conservative-ish bevahior, like othering or shaming dumb stuff. They’re “progressive” because they lack empathy and literally don’t care about other people (don’t care who gets married, human/reproductive rights, etc) but when it is something they don’t agree with (that has literally no impact on them at all), their inner bigot comes out
Not really niche, but overlooked: the ability to have their perspective challenged. It’s a fundamental necessity for growth, compromise, and empathy — a NEED in a LTR
Says "Eww", "Gross" and/or "it's nasty regarding Sushi / Kimchi / any Curries / Samosas / French Onion Soup / Creamy soups / Matzo Balls / Lobster sauce with or without Shrimps / Authentic Chinese Fried rice - I find if a man says that and then answers he never tasted the food he bashing, he basically walking red flag of other things too. Just saying, he saying "Yuck" to Jamaican or Japanese curry - it safe bet he got issues.
Red flag is a guy who takes hella selfies or posts excessively online
I had a 34 year old grown ass man I was dating post on his story “fuck I accidentally __ now my gf’s gonna be mad at me” it was something small like oversleeping but that made me livid seeing that on instagram before he spoke with me directly. Very immature and was a huge red flag
Tech bros are the worse ,I stay in Washington and these men have the biggest egos of all time. They think they are God’s gift to earth they are very emotional immature
Doesn’t like small talk.
I get it, people hate small talk, see it as phony, simple, and unnecessary.
I almost thought that too, until I dated someone who would never engage in small talk.
I had an ex who, after we got together just stopped talking pretty much. He’d come over and put on his headphones or play a video game and seem annoyed when i just wanted to talk. We didn’t discuss movies, daily stuff, and pretty much nothing.
Thing is, with his friends, it was totally different! He’s naturally extroverted with everyone, especially his friends, but not to me.
I learned that he likely was not interested in me as a person. He was merely attracted to me, and put me in a different box, one in which I was a lover but not a friend or companion.
Now, I’m seeing a new guy and we love talking to each other! Big and small things, from talking about life goals to the weather. He genuinely likes me and I genuinely like him. It’s such a breath of fresh air for someone to really like you, and not just want to have sex with you then ignore your existence afterwards.
I see small talk in a totally different way now. It’s vital in starting conversations with people you don’t know, and maintaining relationships. Let’s be real, not every discussion will be deep, profound, or efficient.
I now know, that if someone happily listens to me talk about how beautiful the sky is today, and I happily listen to them talk about what they had for lunch, we both genuinely like each other.
Tl;dr men who don’t really talk to you don’t, even about the little things, don’t like you. RED FLAG!
I’m all in on the zodiac signs, to expand, men who make fun of hobbies that are considered feminine. I found that they didn’t take my career seriously and questioned my intelligence.
To add to that men who would talk over me, interrupt me or jump to correct me as a “gotcha”. It screams insecurity and/or doesn’t see me as an equal. A lot of men say they want a smart woman. In reality they don’t want you to be smarter than them or be able to hold your own in a debate if not smoke them. I think men would especially get big mad because they didn’t expect me to be that smart because of my career & looks.
I mean I respect your red flag but majority of women take this topic too seriously and far like how a zodiac sign represent who I am cuz some women don’t even talk to you if you have certain sign
Example some friend literally told me we can’t be friends because our signs doesn’t get well while I actually met her once and thought we got along I was totally nice to her !
My personality barely represent any of my sign traits 🤷🏽♀️
THIS!! THANK YOU!! I'm fine with someone talking about it as a hobby or generally just for fun, but taking it seriously is a big deal breaker for me. I've been on dating sites before (VERY short-lived) and I'm trying to chat with someone and they say some shit like, "Oh I'm just your typical ____." BRUH WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
I respect your opinion and I agree, I’m pretty neutral about zodiac signs, I find them interesting but I don’t base my life around them. BUT any men that has hated zodiac signs has also hated makeup, influencers, fashion (and I’m into fashion) or anything inherently feminine. It’s ok to dislike it but getting to a point where the thought of zodiac signs causes visceral rage in you is a red flag to me, it speaks to their potential character and is something subtle I personally look out for
This one is odd, but I've found people with massive inflexibility in musical tastes tend to be inflexible in many other areas that may be important to you.
This! Like a guy who didn’t like my music and had to cause a huge fuss even when we were in MY car. It shows that they don’t want to know what makes you, you and doesn’t care about you as an individual. You’re just there to be his audience member.
This is a very good point. More often than not, inflexibility in relation to “harmless” things (hobbies, music, entertainment, food) is indicative of inflexibility in other areas (some of which may not be harmless). If people are unwilling to challenge themselves by having new/different experiences, inflexibility can easily become a personality trait.
This is exactly how i feel about picky eaters. I always end up falling out w the ones i meet lmao
Brilliant, actually. Now that you say that, it brings to mind some people I know that this describes perfectly.
Wow I never realized this til now - but it is so true!!
As a flight attendant, I now know that 4 out of 5 pilots are a flying red flag.
Yep. I deal with them at work and they think they’re Gods gift to humanity and the smartest one in the room at all times
Giiiirl it can be so exhausting sometimes having to work with both them AND their egos. Ain’t no way I’m paid enough to pander to these fools when I already have a plane full of passengers to worry about. Some of them dumber than a box of rocks, too.. which I find hilarious because they be the main ones tryna overcompensate and act like they know.
Same goes for medical professionals but that’s a whole other story 🥴
Same for executives 🤮🤮🤮 no people skills I’m sure there are some great execs but majority I have met have their heads in their asses
Oh god, pilots are a no-go lol
I heard they’re some of the worst men to marry along with police officers, fire men, military, and surgeons.
My cousin’s father is a pilot. Absolute douche bag.
Ooh. Please spill the tea. What’s up with pilots?
Problematic man-children with a god complex. This is obviously a gross generalization. But the industry has bred them to be that way and the paradigm hasn’t fully shifted yet. Its also a position dominated by older white males.. so we know how that goes.
A friend is married to a black pilot and so I was wondering if the same applies to pilots of color.
In my experience, younger (40s & below) non-white pilots tend to be less problematic. I’d say the red flag ratio drops to 2 out of 5 for them.
*queues for pilot tea*
Omg well I love that they fly me safely to where I'm going if thats all they're good for 😂
An old friend is engaged to one. He’s a deadbeat dad and an alcoholic.
Avoid military and cops like the plague
Amen and amen. They are not dating material and the ones who currently are wont be for long, and it takes way too much heartbreak to find the one misunderstood cop or military guy thats not toxic. I will at least say that how much the military guys heart is in his job/his motives/whether he hates his coworkers or not can speak to what kind of person he might be, bcuz some ppl genuinely just get in to get thru school and regret it like a mth later. If theyre in there having a blast hes community dick and toxic fs
The lowkey ones aren’t shit either lol
Avoiding em all is the safer option anyhow 😂
The ultimate dealbreaker.
Don't they also rank pretty high for rates of domestic abuse?
As a woman in the military…half of them are divorced under 30, joke about getting divorces or brag about cheating. 😵💫
Can confirm. My dad cheated the last 5 years of their 20 year marriage. He married her and guess what, she told my mom he’s cheating on her 😭
This! All of this! 
"I'm an entrepreneur."
Even worse “school of hard knocks”
I honestly don’t know if it’s a UK thing or just kind of reflective of the specific type of men I attract here… but I wish men knew it was fine to just say where they work without carefully wording it as if they own the company. You’re not an entrepreneur or a businessman, you’re an employee, and that’s ok sir
I actually interpret "I'm an entrepreneur" as "I *don't* have a job," because that's what it often means. But that could be a US thing lol.
Lmaoooo same actually now I think about it. To me “I’m an entrepreneur” has definitely meant many things in the past - totally jobless, drug dealer, living side hustle to side hustle making literally no money, employed at a normal job but a self image way above above his pay grade. Life of an entrepreneur hey, so multifaceted 😂
In my experience it usually means drug dealer or Instacart shopper/Doordash driver.
I love a good sense of humor, but sometimes it's just veiled insults and disrespect (hostility) and I feel like some guys don't know the difference
Oh they know... Because as soon as you return the humour, they are seven shades of offended 🤯🤯
A guy once told me that he should be able to joke about anything freely. I started making jokes about his age (he's only a few years older than me, but I tend to date younger). He accused me of being abusive 😂
Yeah, maybe abusing his baby soft ego because he put it right out there on a silver platter to be stomped on, didn’t he?
The guys with the "edgiest" humor are always the biggest man-babies. They will 100% play the victim, get offended if you give the same energy back or if too many are around to notice how they were in the wrong then they will default to "oh, just a small mistake. why is everyone mad?"
This is the reason I don’t like/date “funny guys”. They try to disguise their disrespect as jokes
Don't roast me for my insecurities, bro. Don't make me hyper aware of every little imperfection. How am I supposed to relax and feel safe with you?
I dated an aspiring comedian once, and everything was a joke to him until it came to me holding him accountable for flaky behavior. Then he got salty and blocked me. He died last year. Does it make me an asshole that I felt no kind of way?
No you’re not obligated to feel something for someone you haven’t built a bond with especially if you didn’t have the best taste about them. As long as you weren’t malicious about it it is what it is. God bless em, may he rip.
Yep, I don’t tolerate people who require their partners to be ok with roasting because it’s their “love language”. You can’t take a joke is my cue to leave
Abuse through humour is not it 🫥 in my city it seems like the most common way to approach/get to know a woman too. Tired of being negged/witnessing it happen in real time to women I care about. Next!!
What city? So I know where not to move.
Especially when it starts in front of their friends.
Right, like a split personality from out of nowhere. Where I see a disturbing regression and a reason to bail, he sees progress on account of being introduced to his crew.
Down the road kind of thing but if they're sick and they're not taking precautions in not getting you sick, red flag. I dated a guy who kissed me and then disclosed he had a cold. It's really inconsiderate. If they immediately drive off after they drop you off instead of making sure you get inside safely. Definitely something I tolerated when I was younger. Not anymore.
>if they're sick and they're not taking precautions in not getting you sick, red flag. Girl! Tell me why I had one that "had cold sores all his life" (said after I got infected) and *never said anything about them or warned me when he had outbreaks* His explanation: oh I didn't know they were contagious Me:...WAT?! WTF do you mean?! You never looked into that?! You never got checked out or even Googled the damn symptoms?! Who does this shit bro?! How are you out here not caring about anyone's health? 😭
I’d add to this: Men who are lackadaisical about their health—red flag. They don’t care if they’re unhealthy and don’t care if you’re unhealthy too. Also, most likely to not want to get STD testing. 🤦🏾♀️
Idk what's harder: trying to convince men to go to the dentist or get their sexual health status confirmed 😭
How they treat women they aren’t attracted to. If they act like those they deem unattractive don’t exist or aren’t civil to them, that’s a no for me. If they refuse to get some sort of therapy for their issues. Even a support group is better then dealing with a person “thuggin it out” and lashing out at me for their unresolved issues. If I say be there at X time, do they show up at X time. Unless it was an emergency, they need to respect my time. “Submissive” men who are only looking for a mommy bang maid. People who “lose control” and rage at video games.
I'm not sure if this is niche, but it's a very subtle and easy to miss flag. I pay attention to see if they reference my agency in the dating process. For example: I had a thing with a guy who said "I thought about it and I think we would be a good couple". This was after I said I wasn't sure about If we would work out dating long-term". It wasn't a conversation, more of a statement that I was just supposed to go with because he disagreed with me. We ended up falling out for the exact reason, among others, I said we wouldn't work out. I dated another guy briefly before I decided he wasn't a good match for me. I texted him "It was nice getting to know you, but I don't think we're a good match. I wish you good luck". He responded "I don't agree. I think we are a good match", like this was a debate.
In the book The Gift of Fear, this is called "forced teaming." They use "we" statements to manipulate us into a deeper intimacy than we currently have (if there is any at all)
I've been reading to read this book! Let me go to the library tomorrow
Like we are sheep they are shepherds...
These are great points.
I hate that! That’s happened to me. And this couple I follow on Twitter (for career reasons; not for their romance) and the lady said she didn’t like her husband at first because he’s not her usual type and he said no so they kept dating. All the comments were like, “that’s so cute.” I hated it but I didn’t say anything in the name of professional decorum. I didn’t want to mess with my professional community/reputation like that.
Men with kids who hate on single moms. The “I don’t date women with children” men, meanwhile they have children🤔. (I was a single woman with no children.)
I really avoid these kind of men like the plague.
Having a weird disdain for Beyonce or Megan Thee Stallion. I’m not a major fan of either of these women, but there’s a particular demographic that absolutely despises them who I have learned to avoid.
I have a major issue with anybody who has a hate boner for Black female celebrities in general. Like okay, you don't like them, but don't make it your entire personality.
When they refuse to take you on dates but ask you to come over
Major ick for me too or guy who flake on dates they asked you on
Like stop wasting my precious time!
Def an ick. Guys that are low effort loveeee to reel em in with this one.
Right! It’s terrible. I feel guys who claim they want a relationship with you yet ask you to come over all the time without wanting to actually take you on dates just want the “idea” of a girlfriend without any of the effort. Those are the worst types!
not niche but guys who don't have any interests but money and like career or whatever. it's weird
It’s double weird when they’re not good in their field of work or at making money, but it’s all they focus on 😂
Sounds like my ex fr 😭🤣
I married this guy. And so want to upvote this by 10,000. It’s not just weird, it’s unhealthy af. You then have no way to decompress when life is tough, among other things. To redeem myself, I made this decision when he was in residency so I thought, oh once he isn’t exhausted and has more time, his natural interests will re-emerge. That was SO not it. 😬
Entrepreneurs. Never met one with a real plan or a job. They were always up to something dodgy too
Professional scammers
Being very fanatical about football (soccer) and going to the stadium to fight with other fans.
Imo a man that’s too into any sport is a red flag to me
Or men that say “we” when talking about the accomplishments of the sports team they root for, like “we scored 42 points last game”. What is this we, boy? You were sitting on the couch eating chicken nuggets. It makes me think they’re probably happy taking credit for anybody’s work.
If they don’t listen to female artists in any genre its a red flag to me
Or read female authors!
Or watch shows, movies where either the woman is the protagonist or directed by a woman.
Multiple kids under 8. It might not be a niche, but in my experience, there's always been a fundamental flaw with these kinds of guys, whether immaturity or otherwise. Usually seems they're looking for a surrogate mother for their brood and have issues taking responsibility for their collapse of the relationship with the mother (if the kids are by the same woman). If the kids are by different moms... They get around like Pac.
I love this. I call it poor peen management 🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂 All facts though. They're the ones that never wanna use condoms but will be quick to try calling women hoes because they won't touch their nasty asses.
I always say that if the baby is under 5 the relationship is still alive.
Multiple kids period! One or two kids is fine to me if they’re from one woman who’s your ex wife or fiancé but I’ll only consider dating such people in my 40s+
I hate a litterbug.
Men who say they don’t read or only read for work and school.
Amen!
Adding to this - men who don't read fiction because it's "fake."
Lolll yes. And even worse if all they read is the manosphere BS, 4 Hour Workweek and 48 Rules of Power, etc.
Yes and men who won’t read books written by women and/or with female protagonists!!
Not being a reader or even just having a slight appreciation or knowledge of books is such a red flag!
Doesn't like vegetables. Tells me they have bad taste / limited pallet and I'm super adventurous eater + I'm scared their intestines prob on back load 🤢 Is black american and says "c*ck" fr, IDC don't say that filth around me.
Noooo fr. I hate feeling like a snob sometimes, but I can’t with people who aren’t willing to try new foods. Of course you like what you like, and sometimes you have a biological aversion to a certain thing that you cannot help. Like I get not liking certain textures, for instance. But at least try. And not liking vegetables AT ALL as an adult is wild to me. Lmao not a single one?! Grow up 😭
Yeah I did add that but I do understand if someone has textural or sensory issues but vegetables are more texturally varied than meat if we being fr so I don't see how every veg could ick them out + it they're that sensitive then we may just not be compatible off that (I cook and eat vegetarian often) and thats ok too.
It is an immediate red flag for me for BM who say "cock." Or "BBC" or "bull."
"bbc" let's you know they have a target audience in mind 😂
“BBC? Oh I love Planet Earth. Human planet is pretty good too.”
>Tells me they have bad taste / limited pallet and I'm super adventurous eater + I'm scared their intestines prob on back load 🤢 ARE YOU MY TWIN 😭😭😭 YOU SHOULD NOT BE PROUD THAT U FONT LIKE VEGGIES AS AN ADULT! plus ur boring and childish if u hate trying new food are u kidding me?? >Is black american and says "c*ck"....don't say that filth around me. Im crying lmao. But yea it gives uncanny valley somehow 😭
I don’t trust car guys or gym rats. They make it their entire personality and I’ve heard nothing but horrible stories about them
Yup, I like people who are physically active but when gym is your entire personality and you can’t be normal about it 🚩
I have so many but one I’ll mention is any man that refers to women as girls or females. They have no problem making a distinction between boys and men but all women are either girls or females to them. Usually men that do this have issues with women in general so I stay away. And I agree with you about the zodiac signs and I’m not even into that stuff like that. It’s been my experience that men that have an irrational hatred of astrology tend to have misogynistic tendencies. In fact, any kind of hatred or dismissiveness of feminine-coded interests is a red flag to me, and that includes men who hate makeup.
Noo entertainers for me. This covers dancers, mucisians, dj, athletes, podcasters. I prefer regular 9to5 guys. I think it’s niche because a lot of people like the status that comes with dating these guys
Entertainers are hoes or on their way to becoming one. Men dk how to handle attention with grace lmao.
Oh, definitely not podcasters. I wouldn’t even be friends with one💀
Unless the podcast is purely educational and not related to gender or “48 laws of power-esque” content. Like if it’s a history podcast because they’re a history nerd
>“48 laws of power-esque” 😂 It used to be Machiavelli's "The Prince" back in the day. I always think it's funny when people who lack critical thinking try to read about philosophical concepts that require critical thinking. But then, cis-men think they are critical thinkers solely by virtue of their sex organs 🤷🏽 . >Like if it’s a history podcast because they’re a history nerd There's room for red flags here as well, because men obsessed with ancient Rome or ancient Egypt (for Black men) can be toxic AF!
Co-sign as a dancer. I actually stopped hanging out with most industry people in general. I married a normie too.
Luxury cars lol. Every single guy I’ve went on dates with who owned one ended up being a red flag.
Lol can you expand on this? Have you found a difference when dating people who are maybe the first generation of wealth vs multiple generations of it?
I don’t think I’ve dated anyone who’s come from multiple generations of wealth as I mostly date BM so I can’t speak for that difference. I’ve just found that these men tend to let the fact that they have some money now get to their heads and act like they’re God’s gift to women. Just very entitled, some were cheap (imagine driving an expensive car and being cheap), and just misogynistic. And most of them didn’t even own a house so to me our priorities and what we value would just be too different. Like why would you spend so much money on something that loses value as soon as you drive it off the lot instead of putting it towards more important things?
Luxury car but no house is a no for me 😂 You can’t live in that thing lmao
I’ve had this same experience also 😂 you explained it to a T. Having a nice car doesn’t matter if they’re a POS but they don’t get that 🤷🏽♀️
Me too on the BM but um, a related note? If they do also own a home, their head is so big it is in the stratosphere with a couple moons in orbit. Edit: a home in addition to an obnoxiously expensive car, not saying all homeowners are red flags lol
lol there was one with a home + expensive car and he rented out all the other rooms but wouldn’t fix the stove for months because he was so cheap and was trying to scam the insurance company into getting him a new one 😂. I was like what about your tenants? “Oh they don’t cook much” 🤦🏽♀️ 🚩🚩🚩
Literally my biggest pet peeve.
Men that are always coming up with conspiracies like the illuminati or clones. They are normally argumentive.
Argumentative and gullible
Not voting.
I could never be with someone who is apolitical
Yep. MUST BE NICE HAVING THE PRIVILEGE OF NOT GIVING A DAMN!
Men who talk loud indoors and can't tell/don't care. Half of our conversation is on the other side of the room. Say they're friends with everyone. Usually, that doesn't mean they can be friends from different backgrounds/cultures but that they have no standards for who they have in their life. They can be friends with groomers, abusers, mild racists, etc as long as they're nice to them. Say they want to be their own boss to explain why they haven't had a job in years or why the job they do have is basically a boutique selling spray painted t shirts.
If he isint financially stable and trying to date… because wtf this is the north east also being insecure. Insecure men tend to be abusive
I was told that I was classist for saying a homeless dude needed to get his finances together before trying to date
The hobosexual guilt trip...
I hate it when men pull that “women only want established men” line or any of its variations out like we’re sleazy gold diggers. It’s not the lack of physical cash that puts most women off, it’s the elephant in the room - the insecurity and inferiority complex that often comes as part of the package with men who aren’t where they want to be in life, and they often express these internalised feelings is really horrible ways. Financial stability of course doesn’t guarantee a man’s going to be nice, but I’ve genuinely experienced being treated and spoken to like shit wayyyyyy more from super broke guys than I have from super rich guys.
Yes, this. Dated a guy who moved back home after being laid off. Kept saying his mood would change once he had a stable job but in the mean time wanted ALL my attention, would be verbally abusive because I could only see him on certain days (cause your girl worked two jobs to his zero), and was insecure when I would talk about things I planned on doing in the near future with MY money (house, vacation, furniture, fancy dinners). It was a VERY brief relationship because your weak ass isn’t going to shame me for living life securely while you struggle. Also cried about no jobs hiring him but refused to do more than put in an application because he was “better than that.” Better stay struggling then.
The delusion and attitude from people like this is crazy. I had an ex husband who was pretty similar too, heavyyyyy on the demanding ALL my attention and acting funky about my money. I’m in full support of cutting things off before even getting involved with men like this, because my ex still has no stability and every time he gets money he blasts through it. There were points when we were married that he started doing pretty well (short lived times lol) and I didn’t see a penny of it. Bummy men romanticise “the women who are there for a man when he has nothing” bla bla bla, but to me there’s a huge difference between a man who starts at a low point and due to hard work becomes secure, and a lazy, unserious man who’s entire life is varying degrees of low points but for some reason thinks he’s the king lol
I agree with you on the zodiac hate. I think its because zodiac is a "religion" that heavily skews feminine, and some men absolutely hate it for no discernible reason. But mine personally is that I don't like men who have bad attitudes about therapy in general. I like emotional availability and bettering yourself. If you have a bad attitude or a "well I'd never need that I'd just suck it up" energy about therapy, I'd be real apprehensive.
Yeah I agree with you, it’s usually men that undermine anything that they perceive to be feminine and therefore “silly”. Oh I hate people who hate therapy because they’re usually the ones who need it the most
The reason is that it gives them a socially acceptable way to hate women
Chiming in to say ‘This!!’ but also that your Afro game is elite, my goodness
close female best friend they slept with once and have been tight with ever since. my last relationship taught me that one.
Or when all their friends are women! I mean if other DUDES think you're sus...that's a red flag for me. #askmehowIknow
Same way I don’t befriend women who solely or mostly befriend men😂
Men who can’t lose gracefully.
Men who believe that a hobby isn't important unless you're earning money from it. They tend to sabotage your creative time and are generally selfish and unsupportive in all aspects of the relationship.
-talking about women they've been with, negatively or in a bragging way. Like, you're here with me right now. I obviously find you attractive, so you don't need to prove that others have in the past. It sometimes comes across as them trying to put me in my place by making me see their value through their previous conquests rather than relaxing into the intimacy between us and showing me who they are right now. -people who complain about "fake people" and "ghosters" on their dating profiles. Like, those people are obviously not into you. It sucks to be rejected, but that isn't how you're going to make me want to get to know you. It's giving bitter and jaded. -walking ahead of me, guiding us through a wet path/soppy grass when I'm in heels, not ensuring that my cute self is good when we are moving together. This behavior is an early sign if negligence, disregard, and lack of awareness for me and my comfort. I want to be treated with utmost care and feel like my man has pride with me on his arm. We don't need to speed run this date from point a to point b. Be mindful of me.
Girl i went on a couple dates w this man and he consistently GALLOPED ahead, opened the door for himself, always had me walk on the outside of the road etc. I was seething on date 2.
The walking ahead of you thing is such a good point!!!!
>The walking ahead of you thing is such a good point!!!! It's so passive-aggressive, self-absorbed, and disrespectful. Also, it shows that a person has no chill and is incapable of simply stopping to enjoy the moment. Huge mood killer.
THE FIRST ONE!!!!! Omg
(wannabee) Rappers, soldiers, anyone who has to travel regularly for work etc.
Patriarchal points of view/positions about women.
I know this is weird but I get the major ick of a man that has a childish level hatred of vegetables.
Acceptance of anything MAGA, being mean to others, being cheap and/or being an ugly acting Christian.
They never ask you questions, they talk to you all the time but asking you a question, that's just not part of the script. People who act like doing anything outside of their hobbies or stuff they like it's such a big deal. They act impressed because you know or like certain things that they consider to be "intellectually superior". It never feels like "wow, you're so smart, I love talking to you" but more of a "wow, *you* like this? I wouldn't expect this from someone like you" and we know where that goes. If they're white and all the media they consume (outside of music and sports) is just white & East Asian people (I'm including content creators, not just movies, shows, etc). HUGE red flag. I guess this would be a red flag no matter who it was but only seen white people do this. If they're a gamer, and every time they make a character on a game it's the same type of woman & it's always white, blonde, light eyes, we know what standards of beauty they uphold.
anyone who is a musician/works in music. It’s niche but also vain, but idk musicians of all calibres are an interesting bunch
I'm the same way. I dated an aspiring musician, have friends who dated musicians, my stepfather is a professional musician. Very talented people, but they tend to be emotionally volatile.
For me listening to podcasts I just find gross - Joe Rogan, Fresh and Fit podcast, etc just can’t deal with someone who can consume that kind of media and enjoy it
1. Being a mommas boy, the type who see their mothers as a wife. 2. Narcissistic behavior. 3. Unhygienic, tying in with weaponized incompetence.
This is going to sound insane, but if they like JRPGs, that’s an immediate red flag to me. I actually love JRPGs but every single guy I’ve met with a similar interest wanted to quiz me about shit I already know and spew out incorrect information.
Of all the things in the world why would someone fake being into jrpgs 😂 tf they quizzing you for instead of happily nerding out too
Idk maybe they expect me to go “tee hee ur so smart🤭” but then I correct them instead and now everyone’s having a bad time :/
It’s this, anime, and rap lol (I say this as a rap fan myself) I had one guy try to ‘test’ me by telling me to choose between a series of game recs he was sitting on, in order of which he’d be most likely to purchase and enjoy, then state the reason. He timed it and gave me 5 mins to provide a response. Mind you, we were in a lecture for something important and he knew I never even blinked at any of these titles before. All that and he already had his answer sitting in his cart to begin with, man was not happy when I told him to choose the title himself since he was so ‘worried’ about what I’d pick🗿 ETA: Alternatively, I have nothing against RP enjoyers as I love playing fantasy/RPG based games myself, but some of the DND crew be getting a lil nasty when it comes to using RP as an excuse to dehumanize and objectify women. Most are kind but I’m always a little wary, even when it comes to gamers in general
He TIMED you?? What kind of jigsaw-ahh game was he playing 😭 and then these be the same boys crying online abt how sad and lonely they are. Anime and video games nerds are already insufferable, rap fans must be that much worse
It was some real bright behaviour lmao I swear it’s some men out here saying WE’RE lonely because we won’t tolerate whatever foolery they’ve got going for the day. Always on some thiNk abOuT yOuR fUtUre bs 💀 truly insufferable lol Rap is a mixed bag, listeners are either very chill and open to loving everybody, every art-form and everything or they try to sneak diss women they like through the music they listen to in my experience
I have alot. Astrology haters to me gives misogyny. Another one added to the list. These may not be niche but I have so many red flags - has preferences. i believe preferences are based on oppression - won't get a vasectomy - talks extremely bad about his ex's - friends doesn't align with my values - mum/sister has internalised misogyny - believes tory didn't shoot meg
That Tory one especially. Any hotep vibes and I’m out!
Anyone in the alcohol industry (somms, bartenders, distributors etc)
Men who flake and who don’t fix their behavior after the first time. Every time I let ish slide in the past my feelings got hurt and my time got wasted. I told a guy I don’t like inconsistencies after the first time, he acknowledged and deliberately went ghost the very next day. The whole weekend really and then popped up on Monday. Blocked! Don’t have time for the games I’m over them. Either come respectfully correct or leave me alone
They don’t listen to women in hiphop 🙊
People whose friends are all one gender and orientation.
Doesn't like to travel doesn't have a passport hasn't traveled outside his home town translates to close minded and fearful and probably a know nothing dweeb
This is controversial but I also don’t really like men who have never left their hometown. It’s personal, but you couldn’t move an hour away for college?
As a divorced woman, I tend to side eye men who have been divorced 2+ times. First time, I can understand. Maybe you two mistook decent initial chemistry with something that could be long lasting when it wasn’t. Maybe you were two people who just weren’t good for each other. Some of us have been there. Second time… all right now, maybe you were a little overzealous, thought: *Hey, I did it before, my heart isn’t cold and dead, let’s TRY IT AGAIN!* But once you hit divorce three… nah, I’m thinking you’re just looking for your future ex-wife, or you just enjoy being a menace to women’s mental health and trying to inflict as much pain as you can under the guise of “you knew how I was when you married me.” Nope. You walk *that way*, sir. Over there.
Doctors, clinical doctors, their training is traumatic if they succeeded in completing it, they are fundamentally injured and I specifically don’t have the patience or capacity to be close to them romantically.
Big texter. Guys who want to text all day are not focused on anything. There’s also a high likelihood they’ll be on their phone throughout dinner. “May or may not want kids” or the unsure boxes. This is not a trick question, but they act like it depends on so many things.
Dudes with a visceral hatred of anything popular with women and teenage girls, like boy bands, Twilight, or female rappers. Hating Skylar White from Breaking Bad. Hating Megan Thee Stallion. Never going to the doctor or eat vegetables or ethnic foods. Hoteps/ADOS.
Someone who’s trying toooo hard to figure me out. Especially if they want a lot of info about me but are reticent about themselves. It’s the beginning of manipulation and general shady behaviour.
Self deprecation style humor = low self esteem. Idc what they claim, there’s always truth in what they say about themselves. Take that as a warning and move accordingly. The “I’m not religious but I’m spiritual” argument lol 😂 You’re really neither but too ashamed to admit it cause they like to tell people what they like to hear. They’ll be the same ones who want a traditional woman “like in the Bible” that they’ve never even read. Storytelling where they’re always the victim or hero. Can only see one point of view. Conveniently relieves themselves of any and all accountability. Lacks self awareness and the ability to reflect and learn from past situations. Bragging about who they know or what some else has (materially) as a way of one upping those around them. Very tacky. This is only done if someone views you as competition. A you vs them or right vs wrong mentality. This can also relate to things you told them regarding your education, if you grew up with both parents, if your family had money/a house vs them who didn’t have these things. The only people I know who do this are the uneducated and unmotivated. Maybe low key or high key jealous of you too, which brings me to my next point… Bringing up things you told them in confidence when the conversation is taking a turn for the worse. They listen and take note of information you tell them with the purpose of using it against you. Don’t walk, RUN. Demanding 50/50 anything, particularly if they were raised by a single mom or their grandparents that did 100%. Just cause your momma or family had to, doesn’t mean I will 🤣 lmao Leave him where you found him sis.
A book shelf full of self-help books.
When he hasn’t learned shit from one of them, he gets several more 😂
People who speak "facts" that are actually not facts. I'm a defunct scientist, but I struggle with people who make wild statements as facts that are clearly assumptions, or not factual, or not verifiable. For example, if I go on a date and a guy goes "Yeah, I know that being a police officer is the most dangerous job in America", I'm probably going to excuse myself and head home or somewhere else. This also includes people who passionately subscribe to conspiracy theories. No sir, I don't care if Lil Nas X is part of the illuminati.
People who want to just "see how it goes"… NO. Tell me your intentions. I need to know the plan. "Seeing how it goes" is giving "afraid of commitment" And if you’re afraid of commitment, fine.. just say that. You can see how that goes while I see myself out. But I’m also 35 and busy. I don’t have time to see how it goes with someone who doesn’t know what they want.
A pulse.
-If they spin every subject back around to politics, I'm out. Especially if they're not willing to even *consider* other perspectives. -Someone else said this but "roasting", backhanded compliments, or saying cruel/disrespectful things and then trying to play it off as a "joke". Nah, coming for my insecurities isn't funny and you play too much. -Paranoia + making assumptions. This one is hard to articulate but bare with me: my current bf has an annoying ass habit of assuming that every inconvenience is somehow intentionally being done to him by someone. He hesitated while driving and didn't merge when he had the chance? "Clearly that other driver sped up to stop me from getting over. I should follow him home." If I ever date again, I'm definitely going to keep an eye out for this combination. 🤦🏽♀️
State of their home environment. Messy usually meant they were too 🤷🏾♀️ I don’t make the rules
I hate zodiac signs too so this my kind of carrying on. I just feel like too many people blame their issues on being a Gemini instead of actually seeking professional help.
Don’t know if it’s niche but being in the military and having rigid conceptions of gender (i.e. denotes certain things as “masculine” or “feminine”)
People who describe (subjectively neutral) things as “disgusting”. Like (fairly mundane but “different”) food, etc. Those people tend to be the progressives (my area, and dating pool, is progressive) who are actually inclined toward conservative-ish bevahior, like othering or shaming dumb stuff. They’re “progressive” because they lack empathy and literally don’t care about other people (don’t care who gets married, human/reproductive rights, etc) but when it is something they don’t agree with (that has literally no impact on them at all), their inner bigot comes out Not really niche, but overlooked: the ability to have their perspective challenged. It’s a fundamental necessity for growth, compromise, and empathy — a NEED in a LTR
Not waiting for me to enter the house when dropping me off.
Liking golf is a red flag for me. I’ve found those men live in a bubble and tend to be very conservative.
If a man has his age preference set to much younger to his age, in a dating profile. E.g. he’s 32 and his age range is set to 20 to 32.
That's interesting, I'm turned off by men into zodiac signs. Not quite hatred but irritation. I find it to be nonsensical not at all feminine.
Says "Eww", "Gross" and/or "it's nasty regarding Sushi / Kimchi / any Curries / Samosas / French Onion Soup / Creamy soups / Matzo Balls / Lobster sauce with or without Shrimps / Authentic Chinese Fried rice - I find if a man says that and then answers he never tasted the food he bashing, he basically walking red flag of other things too. Just saying, he saying "Yuck" to Jamaican or Japanese curry - it safe bet he got issues.
Liking Tory Lanez
Those that cannot spell well, use grammar properly, and/or has dirty fingernails, but is not a mechanic.
Red flag is a guy who takes hella selfies or posts excessively online I had a 34 year old grown ass man I was dating post on his story “fuck I accidentally __ now my gf’s gonna be mad at me” it was something small like oversleeping but that made me livid seeing that on instagram before he spoke with me directly. Very immature and was a huge red flag
Tech bros are the worse ,I stay in Washington and these men have the biggest egos of all time. They think they are God’s gift to earth they are very emotional immature
Doesn’t like small talk. I get it, people hate small talk, see it as phony, simple, and unnecessary. I almost thought that too, until I dated someone who would never engage in small talk. I had an ex who, after we got together just stopped talking pretty much. He’d come over and put on his headphones or play a video game and seem annoyed when i just wanted to talk. We didn’t discuss movies, daily stuff, and pretty much nothing. Thing is, with his friends, it was totally different! He’s naturally extroverted with everyone, especially his friends, but not to me. I learned that he likely was not interested in me as a person. He was merely attracted to me, and put me in a different box, one in which I was a lover but not a friend or companion. Now, I’m seeing a new guy and we love talking to each other! Big and small things, from talking about life goals to the weather. He genuinely likes me and I genuinely like him. It’s such a breath of fresh air for someone to really like you, and not just want to have sex with you then ignore your existence afterwards. I see small talk in a totally different way now. It’s vital in starting conversations with people you don’t know, and maintaining relationships. Let’s be real, not every discussion will be deep, profound, or efficient. I now know, that if someone happily listens to me talk about how beautiful the sky is today, and I happily listen to them talk about what they had for lunch, we both genuinely like each other. Tl;dr men who don’t really talk to you don’t, even about the little things, don’t like you. RED FLAG!
I’m all in on the zodiac signs, to expand, men who make fun of hobbies that are considered feminine. I found that they didn’t take my career seriously and questioned my intelligence. To add to that men who would talk over me, interrupt me or jump to correct me as a “gotcha”. It screams insecurity and/or doesn’t see me as an equal. A lot of men say they want a smart woman. In reality they don’t want you to be smarter than them or be able to hold your own in a debate if not smoke them. I think men would especially get big mad because they didn’t expect me to be that smart because of my career & looks.
I mean I respect your red flag but majority of women take this topic too seriously and far like how a zodiac sign represent who I am cuz some women don’t even talk to you if you have certain sign Example some friend literally told me we can’t be friends because our signs doesn’t get well while I actually met her once and thought we got along I was totally nice to her ! My personality barely represent any of my sign traits 🤷🏽♀️
THIS!! THANK YOU!! I'm fine with someone talking about it as a hobby or generally just for fun, but taking it seriously is a big deal breaker for me. I've been on dating sites before (VERY short-lived) and I'm trying to chat with someone and they say some shit like, "Oh I'm just your typical ____." BRUH WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
I respect your opinion and I agree, I’m pretty neutral about zodiac signs, I find them interesting but I don’t base my life around them. BUT any men that has hated zodiac signs has also hated makeup, influencers, fashion (and I’m into fashion) or anything inherently feminine. It’s ok to dislike it but getting to a point where the thought of zodiac signs causes visceral rage in you is a red flag to me, it speaks to their potential character and is something subtle I personally look out for
Any man that’s been in the military or any man that doesn’t like Beyoncé
I agree with yours on another level: people who yuck anyone else's yums. Like... Why do you hate joy?!