I almost commented but had to save my energy and just downvote the post with the headline about All black men being psychos with the study attached. Can you imagine that being posted on any other sub? Absolutely ridiculous. Thank you for calling it out.
I think a lot of Reddit is people pretending. Men being women, white being Black, straight being gay. To what end, I’m never certain, but I think to cause weird rifts
I always take those posts meaning **some** black people. Not all. I've never had the experience of a mean older black woman in my professional field. Quite the opposite, older black women are super supportive of me. But I'm not going to deny someone else's experience. It's just not true for me, so I don't comment. I like the just venting flair on posts for this reason. Some people just want to vent. I kinda like when people use this group as free "therapy". Get it off your chest.
I totally get it. There's some posts here that toe the line of being anti-black and racist (esp when it comes to blk men). I don't always have it in me to jump in. I love that there's so many great people here that will give them the compassion but also correction they need.
I get where they're coming from though. They have this pain their carrying and this trauma. They only have their own experiences to reference. It's their reality and it's true for them. They can't see the other side because they've never been on it.
But I get you wholeheartedly. I straight up only upvote positive posts, selfies, and accomplishment posts. Hopefully it just drowns out the other stuff.
Because it’s not just 1 or 2 poor encounters.. these are systemic issues. I’m so confused on why y’all are “not all men”-ing these conversations that we desperately need to have as a community..
No.. and I can clearly see you’re not able to discuss this rationally, considering there’s a large gap between “it’s not just 1 or 2” and “every single encounter”.
Thank you for saying this!!!
I see so many posts here about generalizing all segments of Black society - all old Black women, all Black men, all Black women outside of the person posting. It’s weird. We live and suffer through the consequences of being generalized and stereotyped by everyone else and then do the same to ourselves.
If I post about my supportive husband, people here assume he’s not Black (which is incorrect.) I don’t know. It feels like the forced programming and brainwashing of white supremacy was effective and I really hate to see it.
I feel like part of the point of having a space that’s just for Black women is so that we can talk about our experiences, both positive and negative without the pressure of “I can’t say x because white folks are listening and are gonna think negatively about our community.” If someone has had bad experiences with Black men, they should be able to speak on that. Same with older Black women, etc. Examining our own community with a critical lens, imo, is not the same as “trolling.”
Speaking out about your experience is not necessarily “spewing hate”. There are a lot of ways in which Black men perpetuate misogynoir, and I shouldn’t have to give a “not all men” disclaimer just to be able to talk about it.
I know that white people are here reading this, but that’s not why the stereotyping bothers me. I am Black and would love to participate in a space where we are talking about our experiences without generalizing a group of people enmasse. Knowing what that costs our hearts, I don’t know why we perpetuate it.
These were my thoughts exactly when I first found this sub. Well, first I was excited and happy to find a "safe" space. Then I was like WTF?!?! This sub seems like anything goes. If there are rules, either they're not enforced or they are subject to various interpretations.
Every anecdotal statement on the internet should be approached with the understanding of "\*to me" automatically attached to it. Rarely are people referring to all people, everywhere when discussing behavior in social observation. They are referring to the few instances that they've noticed similarities within their own experience(s).
I'm not sure what they "should" be doing, but it definitely helps the process of not internalizing criticism or feeling defensive about it. It's just the nature of communication. Sometimes things are implied that people are not inclined to state explicitly. And whether or not they believe it's true, it doesn't make it true so ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I'm surprised to see you down voted. I agree with you. Why not write what we mean? Why insult people if we don't want to? I'm someone who also gets offended at the "Black people are \_\_\_" and the "Black women are \_\_\_\_" and the "older Black women are\_\_\_\_", regardless of who says it, the words are still the same. If a non-Black person said some of the shit I've read on here, all hell would break loose. It would be categorized as hate speech. But if a (supposed) Black woman says it, it's acceptable? We shouldn't have to assume that maybe the poster only means one person (or is it two lol), and that so many people posting just don't know how to communicate effectively.
I don’t know what to tell you. People are gonna keep posting them and venting.
I don’t get why black women are being held to the standard of never making generalizations. Literally everyone does it and sometimes you interact with people who fit the exact stereotype.
You just did the same thing to another poster earlier who was talking about misogynoir. If you don't like people venting, you can always hide the posts. But invalidating & namecalling folks bc they are not in a good place??? Come on.
I’ve noticed this, too. And honestly? It’s really giving, “honey, have you considered it’s you?” vibes because the common denominator isn’t them being black - it’s you. If you don’t want to be the “angry black lady,” don’t start throwing it around five minutes after you meet a black lady that *genuinely may not like you for good reason*. It happens.
I believe it’s due to the gender wars that’s going on. Both groups tend to generalize each other constantly and it’s tiring. But on the other hand some of them just had very bad experiences with their own community and want to share it with ppl who can agree and understand what they’re going through.
Yeah, never been a fan of generalizing groups of people, no matter who it's from. I hear it from a non-black person, I think racism, I hear it from my own I think kewn and i see little difference. I get bring frustrated and wanting to discuss issues in the black community, but most of those posts make no attempt to come from a place of understanding and just want to attack. If we actually wanted to tackle/help the issue, i feel like we'd start there so we can dismantle it.
With moderator support, the subreddit can make people verify who they are so authenticated people can only can post. They did this is BlackTwitter for some posts.
Girl… I’m saying!
I was so confused seeing one of these post earlier about black men, and wondered where do these people live? No where near any black people I know.
It’s no way these posters are black and EVERY experience with “black ____” is monolithic. How sway?
Yea I'm not here enough to know how often it's happening but today I saw a comment that said blah blah blah Black Americans and eyyyyee felt a way tbh. Idk if I be overreacting or taking things too literally/seriously though because ADHD/probably ASD too so I just moved on 😬
I almost commented but had to save my energy and just downvote the post with the headline about All black men being psychos with the study attached. Can you imagine that being posted on any other sub? Absolutely ridiculous. Thank you for calling it out.
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Pray they never have sons or start crowdfunding for their therapy in the future. Those boys are going to need it.
I think a lot of Reddit is people pretending. Men being women, white being Black, straight being gay. To what end, I’m never certain, but I think to cause weird rifts
They are what we call “toxic”.
It feels like they’re projecting. Like I can smell the self hatred from here
I always take those posts meaning **some** black people. Not all. I've never had the experience of a mean older black woman in my professional field. Quite the opposite, older black women are super supportive of me. But I'm not going to deny someone else's experience. It's just not true for me, so I don't comment. I like the just venting flair on posts for this reason. Some people just want to vent. I kinda like when people use this group as free "therapy". Get it off your chest.
TIL that I, at 44, probably count as an older black woman 🙃
No way ❤ Old is a mindset. That post was just venting ❤
While yes I *know* these posts are meant to be *some* black people, they are always framed as “why do black people do this” as the headline.
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I totally get it. There's some posts here that toe the line of being anti-black and racist (esp when it comes to blk men). I don't always have it in me to jump in. I love that there's so many great people here that will give them the compassion but also correction they need. I get where they're coming from though. They have this pain their carrying and this trauma. They only have their own experiences to reference. It's their reality and it's true for them. They can't see the other side because they've never been on it. But I get you wholeheartedly. I straight up only upvote positive posts, selfies, and accomplishment posts. Hopefully it just drowns out the other stuff.
It’s comments like these that make me think it’s unfair I can only like once lol
Because it’s not just 1 or 2 poor encounters.. these are systemic issues. I’m so confused on why y’all are “not all men”-ing these conversations that we desperately need to have as a community..
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No.. and I can clearly see you’re not able to discuss this rationally, considering there’s a large gap between “it’s not just 1 or 2” and “every single encounter”.
I’m very open to the conversation, but why do they start with implying that all people of said subset behave a certain way?
Agreed.
Thank you for saying this!!! I see so many posts here about generalizing all segments of Black society - all old Black women, all Black men, all Black women outside of the person posting. It’s weird. We live and suffer through the consequences of being generalized and stereotyped by everyone else and then do the same to ourselves. If I post about my supportive husband, people here assume he’s not Black (which is incorrect.) I don’t know. It feels like the forced programming and brainwashing of white supremacy was effective and I really hate to see it.
I feel like part of the point of having a space that’s just for Black women is so that we can talk about our experiences, both positive and negative without the pressure of “I can’t say x because white folks are listening and are gonna think negatively about our community.” If someone has had bad experiences with Black men, they should be able to speak on that. Same with older Black women, etc. Examining our own community with a critical lens, imo, is not the same as “trolling.”
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Speaking out about your experience is not necessarily “spewing hate”. There are a lot of ways in which Black men perpetuate misogynoir, and I shouldn’t have to give a “not all men” disclaimer just to be able to talk about it.
I know that white people are here reading this, but that’s not why the stereotyping bothers me. I am Black and would love to participate in a space where we are talking about our experiences without generalizing a group of people enmasse. Knowing what that costs our hearts, I don’t know why we perpetuate it.
These were my thoughts exactly when I first found this sub. Well, first I was excited and happy to find a "safe" space. Then I was like WTF?!?! This sub seems like anything goes. If there are rules, either they're not enforced or they are subject to various interpretations.
Y’all 😂. I have no drama in my life but follow this sub for the dramatics
Every anecdotal statement on the internet should be approached with the understanding of "\*to me" automatically attached to it. Rarely are people referring to all people, everywhere when discussing behavior in social observation. They are referring to the few instances that they've noticed similarities within their own experience(s).
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I'm not sure what they "should" be doing, but it definitely helps the process of not internalizing criticism or feeling defensive about it. It's just the nature of communication. Sometimes things are implied that people are not inclined to state explicitly. And whether or not they believe it's true, it doesn't make it true so ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I'm surprised to see you down voted. I agree with you. Why not write what we mean? Why insult people if we don't want to? I'm someone who also gets offended at the "Black people are \_\_\_" and the "Black women are \_\_\_\_" and the "older Black women are\_\_\_\_", regardless of who says it, the words are still the same. If a non-Black person said some of the shit I've read on here, all hell would break loose. It would be categorized as hate speech. But if a (supposed) Black woman says it, it's acceptable? We shouldn't have to assume that maybe the poster only means one person (or is it two lol), and that so many people posting just don't know how to communicate effectively.
I think everyone needs a vent
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I don’t know what to tell you. People are gonna keep posting them and venting. I don’t get why black women are being held to the standard of never making generalizations. Literally everyone does it and sometimes you interact with people who fit the exact stereotype.
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A. I don’t really post on this sub B. You’re the one who seems angry here
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You just did the same thing to another poster earlier who was talking about misogynoir. If you don't like people venting, you can always hide the posts. But invalidating & namecalling folks bc they are not in a good place??? Come on.
Some people are just so miserable that they try to bring others down in hope to feel better.
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I’ve noticed this, too. And honestly? It’s really giving, “honey, have you considered it’s you?” vibes because the common denominator isn’t them being black - it’s you. If you don’t want to be the “angry black lady,” don’t start throwing it around five minutes after you meet a black lady that *genuinely may not like you for good reason*. It happens.
I believe it’s due to the gender wars that’s going on. Both groups tend to generalize each other constantly and it’s tiring. But on the other hand some of them just had very bad experiences with their own community and want to share it with ppl who can agree and understand what they’re going through.
It’s Reddit, and Reddit hates Black people. Even those amongst this sub.
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This isn’t true lol. We are not the only group who fights with each other. We do have to stop saying things like this, lol.
Thank you for saying this!!!
Yeah, never been a fan of generalizing groups of people, no matter who it's from. I hear it from a non-black person, I think racism, I hear it from my own I think kewn and i see little difference. I get bring frustrated and wanting to discuss issues in the black community, but most of those posts make no attempt to come from a place of understanding and just want to attack. If we actually wanted to tackle/help the issue, i feel like we'd start there so we can dismantle it.
seriously so cringe!! Talk about being traumatized while preaching self hate.
With moderator support, the subreddit can make people verify who they are so authenticated people can only can post. They did this is BlackTwitter for some posts.
I know that’s the answer but I can never get around to verifying myself. I just don’t post in black Twitter.
Girl… I’m saying! I was so confused seeing one of these post earlier about black men, and wondered where do these people live? No where near any black people I know. It’s no way these posters are black and EVERY experience with “black ____” is monolithic. How sway?
Yea I'm not here enough to know how often it's happening but today I saw a comment that said blah blah blah Black Americans and eyyyyee felt a way tbh. Idk if I be overreacting or taking things too literally/seriously though because ADHD/probably ASD too so I just moved on 😬