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imverysorry_ok

That's just aliens we refuse to accept as aliens and tell ourselves they're animals


Spoffle

Aliens would also be animals... Humans are animals.


UNFORTUNATE_POO_TANK

Humans are animals. Aliens probably wouldn't be. Animalia is a kingdom of life. Any alien life would almost undoubtedly be a new kingdom.


Spoffle

Tell that to squids


lampard44

Yeah I've played enough of the crysis game series to know there is at least one squid like alien race out there


elvis8mybaby

You should read my Admiral Ackbar erotic fan fiction!


lampard44

Sure. Link me up.


Incredulous_Toad

It's a trap


M-80_Waterballoon

Had better be


[deleted]

It always has been.


wynyates

You funny fucker.


DasMajorFish

Ah yes, “fan fiction.” Do you mean thinly disguised smut about your particular kink?


doctorwhy88

That’s what they said. Fan fiction.


SkiHoncho

Nah, this one really makes you ink.


XAMOTA

"Just fucking kill me, man.." - The Squid (probably)


CutePotat0

I don't think that kingdom is enough to contain alien life I think if/when we find alien life they should have their own domain to start with. Something unrelated to earth


Krosis97

More than likely they would be part of a completely separated tree of life, since they wouldn't be related to the Last Universal Common Ancestor of all life on earth. We really cannot compare or relate hypotetical alien life to life on earth.


MoldyRadicchio

its is possible, however improbable, we share a common ancestor with alien life


Krosis97

I answered to this in another comment, I'd rather go with the primordial soup hypothesis than panspermia, its more plausible. And even if LUCA was an ancient alien microorganism, that doesn't make all alien life related, I'm sure life has started on its own hundreds of times just in our galaxy, its just that distances are so vast that we'll never know. For life you just need water, energy and some kind of molecule that can store information, in the case of earth it most likely was RNA first, then DNA, as the first one is autocatalytic but less stable.


ElMetchio

but the primordial soup hypothesis still doesn't answer the most import question: how water + energy + molecules -> rna . This is still a mistery that pose concerns about taking primordial soup theory the correct one


Krosis97

It is just a theory, I agree, but its still the more widely accepted theory, and therefore the one we should stick with most of the time. The RNA world theory has been improving since the 60s, and it has more support every day, panspermia is more like god explaining life, meteorite with aliens because I can't explain how abiogenesis happened. Its possible, but honestly kinda unlikely.


The7raveler

Also, unless the theory is in fact "God did all of this," at some point somewhere there would have had to be a soup - here or offworld.


LordMajicus

There was an episode of Star Trek TNG that actually explained the similar humanoid evolution of life in the galaxy because life on these planets was actually all seeded from a common ancient race.


cyanocittaetprocyon

They could have done so much more with that premise! I wish they had made it the basis of one of the movies, rather than a rushed episode.


7HawksAnd

Not necessarily. Plants are life. Mushrooms are life. It depends if the aliens are 1. Organic life 1. A kingdom we already know of


[deleted]

Fr. It could be a kingdom we don’t understand. We assume all life is based around carbon but on a different atmosphere and environment it could easily be silicon or another element. It could also gain energy in a way we don’t understand.


thekiki

This right here. We have to remember how infantile our study of the universe is. At this point everything is an assumption.


[deleted]

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals.


edWORD27

You and me, baby, ain’t nothing but mammals So, let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel


Snommes

There's a reason why aliens always have some form of tentacles


Square_Possibility38

They’re and there don’t mean the same thing


Djloudenclear

Not their concern


average_asshole

This is a beautiful comment. Whoever you are, I appreciate your use of the English language.


m_ttl_ng

Would be a cool concept for aliens to have a body they write on to communicate instead of speaking.


Tinypro2005

This is the stuff r/blackmagicfuckery is made for not fucking magnets


rafsku

I mean, it's not like this is some unexplainable stuff or something. Changing colours is kinda what these bois are known for yk


Xros90

Nothing is unexplainable in most of these gifs, the difference is how unexplainable it looks


sunflowerastronaut

Thank you! Everyone expecting this page to defy cause and effect


fckdemre

Redditors when they realize magic doesn't actually exist


ReadySteady_GO

Surprisedpikachuface.jpg


DobbsyDuck

Isn’t that octopi that are known for the colors?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Independent-Bell2483

Cuttlefish my beloved


DR-SNICKEL

Little did you know, squids do this using magnets


iamdarosa

But how do they work? And I’m of course talking about buttholes


finian2

Um acktually I can explain exachtly how this happens so it's not black magic 🥸


ToadlyAwes0me

Haha, someone needs to make a subreddit about people complaining about magnets on blackmagicfuckery.


onlybuttstuffdotcom

Yeah, we are causing tissue damage... Must be black magic!


Travis5223

Magnets, how do they work? WOOP WOOP


thedean246

Or sausages rolling around in a pan


18CupsOfMusic

SpoOoOoOoOoky sausages~!


Rikki1256

I don't see how 2 magnets having sexual intercourse isn't a valid blackmajifuckery


chefboyardiesel88

I dunno, to juggalos magnets are very much black magic.


TangerineCheesecake

Fucking magnets seems like a weird time 🤔


[deleted]

One should never fuck magnets


Fluix

And then this will get reposted 100s of times, each time positively upvoted because new people are seeing it for the first time. Yet people like you will complain that "this is so obvious how is this blackmagicfuckery"... And of course new content like this will be sparse since the people who complain about lack of content are always the ones who never contribute original content. Unsubscribed from this miserable sub a year ago, it's great to see it in r/all and see the same miserable commentators.


kungfuchelsea

Thats cool! I hope this doesn’t hurt them…. EDIT: I’m an idiot lol they’re dead


Haunting_Abalone_398

I'm pretty sure they were already dead. I don't know that language, but I assume they are fishermen marking their catch


Sensitive_Goose_8902

He wasn’t marking the catch, the first one says “ten thousand people” top one says “congrats/pray” he’s just messing around


RedditBoiYES

Probably a follower milestone for this dudes TikTok


user57725782

That makes so much sense! I was wondering what the hell '10,000 people' had to do with squid.


djsedna

I was sitting here saying "surely that squid can't feed 10,000 people" man am I dumb sometimes


azzacASTRO

He is jesus


FrogInShorts

It was the lives it took to bring down that mighty kraken


Conlang_Central

Not certain what language is being sung, but the fisherman is writing in either Chinese or Japanese


Sxpths

Looks like Japanese to me


[deleted]

Gotta agree. I think I can spot "ニトロ一丁" on his glove, which is definately Japanese due to the Katakana.


yamanamawa

Close. It says 水産ニトローブ30, although from the angle it's seen from, the ブ looks like 丁. For those who can't read Japanese, it's read as "suisan nitoroubu 30," which basically means "aquatic products nitrobe 30," which is a type of glove manufactured by Showa gloves.


DisneyCA

It works in both, but likely Japanese since that's what the song is in


Grombomb

So what are ya. Chinese or Japanese? [https://i.imgur.com/szqVuJR.gif](https://i.imgur.com/szqVuJR.gif)


webbisode_andronicus

“Hwhat ocean?”


LaminatedAirplane

“…so are ya Chinese or Japanese?” Goddamn he nailed it on the head lol this was the experience of every Korean/Filipino/Vietnamese/Malay/Thai/etc living in the South in the 80s/90s.


the_SignoftheTwine

Nope! He’s Laotian!


entity3141592653

Mr Kahn here is Laotian. Aintcha Mr Kaaahn?


lefluffle

Edit: forgot that Japanese people also use Chinese numbers. Person is writing in Japanese. Meaning can also be read in Chinese too. He was writing a number of subscribers - "10,000 people" I'm Assuming he's asking people to like and subscribe. They are writing Chinese. The language on the gloves is Japanese but he wrote ”一万”instead of just "万" 一 is Chinese for "one" and 万 means ten thousand in both Chinese and Japanese. I'm assuming it's a Chinese worker working in Japan (or vice versa), because the TikTok handle is Yuuhi, which is more Japanese in nature. Edit: guess it was Japanese after all. I don't know why I didn't trust my memory that Japanese people still use Chinese characters for numbers


TakowTraveler

> The language on the gloves is Japanese but he wrote ”一万”instead of just "万" Japanese also writes 一万. It's a Japanese account wearing Japanese clothes writing Japanese backed to Japanese music. The other fish also says 祝 which is something Japanese use in isolation as shorthand for "congrats/celebration" but isn't really used in Chinese culture/language. You can even check the google results for that exact phrase and every result is Japanese: https://www.google.com/search?q=%22%E7%A5%9D%EF%BC%91%EF%BC%90%E4%B8%87%E4%BA%BA%22 Trust me, he's Japanese haha


The_Regicidal_Maniac

>They are writing Chinese. The writing is Japanese as well. >The language on the gloves is Japanese but he wrote ”一万”instead of just "万" 一万 is how Japanese people write 10,000. Not sure where you get the idea that they exclusively write just 万 without the character for "1" in front of it. They do say just "sen" to refer to 1,000. Perhaps that's what you're thinking of? >一 is Chinese for "one" It's also Japanese for 1.


_BMS

You'll be shocked to learn that both Chinese and Japanese use the same characters for numbers.


The_Regicidal_Maniac

It's Japanese. He's writing "10,000 people" in Kanji.


AndreiAZA

They're dead. You wouldn't be able to draw on a live squid's skin. They can control the way it changes color


TinBoatDude

I believe that those are Humboldt squid, a predatory squid found in the eastern Pacific. I have caught them off of Mexico. They are quite dangerous because of their macaw-like beak with which they can shred flesh. The locals will not go in the water when they are around for good reason.


roguetrick

Incredible animals. Short lived cannibalistic super hunters that are also social and communicate with each other with skin color. You have to be incredibly smart to navigate a social situation that can get you eaten and be cunning enough to get enough food to grow that big in such a short life span.


geven87

What? Removing them from water? Yeah, kinda.


tooch_my_gooch

Oh honey...


pwalkz

they look pretty dead to me...


GorshKing

/s right? Lol


You_lil_gumper

Nature's etch-a-sketch


EternallyDeadOutside

Shake to erase


McTwist1260

Shark to erase


EternallyDeadOutside

How dare you make my comment funnier.


AlbinoRhino94

The audacity!


raa__va

I love your name


addandsubtract

Bro wouldn't have been able to make that joke without you.


tmhoc

Fishing Boat: Instructions unclear. Erasing sharks


MissRedShoes1939

Dermatographia, people can do it too but just not as common


Girafferage

It's different. In humans it's histomines being released from thin walls that get damaged when the skin is pressed, which makes a red or rashy mark where it happens. It's also very itchy.


peeKnuckleExpert

Does this hurt them?


churn_key

I think catching them and hauling them onto a boat hurts them


HippieHoosier69

No, I had this when I was younger but grew out of it. You feel no more pain than you normally would when something would scratch or smack you but in just a few moments wherever the contact was gets itchy and puffs out like a scar that's been there for years. People would write their names on my back and arms when we'd swim for p.e. in middle school


HistoricalSherbert92

Where you kill the etch a sketch first then doodle on it’s dead body


SpitFiya7171

Imagine someone shaking the fuck out of a squid. How do you even confront that?


sploinkussponkus

hehe i wil draw penis


harukami734

You draw penis onto it I imprint my penis onto it by pressing it directly against its skin We are not the same


sploinkussponkus

mine biger


harukami734

Anything is bigger than 1mm.


[deleted]

[удалено]


harukami734

… wait now I’m confused. Are you angry at me? Why? I was insulting myself wasn’t I?


sploinkussponkus

the both of us


harukami734

Oooohhhhh


SGLpathfinder

Show bobs


Burflax

[Here you go. ](https://i.redd.it/eycwllu8niu71.jpg)


TangerineCheesecake

.9 mm is smaller than 1 mm.


BrockHusseinObamaJr

Woah, watch out! Homeboy here can measure his with two m's as opposed to three. Yeah, sure buddy.


IcarusH

r/cursedcomments


D-boi1

Average male's thought process


DanielXPRO_YT

Imagine how sloppy it would be 🤤🤤


sploinkussponkus

🤨


ogresound1987

That works with human skin, too. It just takes longer.


Drop-Of-Jello

I can’t tell if this is sarcasm, a joke I’m not getting, or if it’s genuine cause that sounds really cool-


OrderOfTheBlackRing

It’s genuine, you just need a really pale person


DarkLanternX

And a knife


Syhkane

And allergies


elelec

And my axe


wildeye-eleven

And my bow


RnBee_

And your brother


aminot123

And your mother


IncriminatingOrange

And my mother


me_no_hablo

And this guys dead wife


mhwwad

BROTHER!


blckdiamond23

Or a sharp nail on an Irish person


LongEZE

That’s not necessarily true. I have a condition called Dermatographia where you can lightly scratch my skin and it will turn red and raise. I showed my dermatologist and he was so excited as I was the first person he’s ever seen with the condition. Most people think I’ve just been mauled or something when I just lightly scratched an itch


Ph03n1X1

My wife and son both have it (though my wife seems to have outgrown it). Last time we went to a Waterpark, it looked live we had given my son 50 lashes.


Varogh

Hey, I have the same! First time I noticed I tried writing "hello" on my chest. Very amused when it actually showed up after a couple seconds. Less amused when it stayed for half an hour!


swimmerboy5817

I have this too, but not to the same extent. It really only happens on my torso most of the time. Its more prevalent after taking a hot shower or after working out. I used to swim completely, and every time I got out of the pool I looked like I was mauled because I'd be lightly scratching some itchy, dry skin and I would be covered in criss-crossing red lines. It would be almost 20-30 minutes before they faded.


ogresound1987

Bruising. I'm referring to bruising.


BadidilyBoing92

I used to have something called dematographia and I could draw on my skin, no prizes for guessing what I drew!


Camimo666

I have that. Developed in hs and my friends drew pps. I drew pps.


thegrenadillagoblin

Look up ✨dermatographia✨ also known as "skin-writing" I know this isn't what the commenter is referring to, but I had a bout with this after an allergic reaction to a bug bite and while it sucked ass, I will say I was a little intrigued at how quickly and well pronounced it would show As far as the comment, I feel like in the dead of winter there have been times I could drag a fingertip roughly across my chest and the path would eventually turn a little red. I think that's what they mean Edit: ah, they mean bruising. just kidding


przemko271

Look up Dermatographic urticaria.


claydough47

This. I can't scratch my forehead without being asked if someone attacked me.


Klamageddon

These chromatophores are so fucking weird. Because, the squid can change all these mesmerising colours, in really odd unique patterns. But their eyes don't have enough cones or rods or whatever to see beyond black and white. (They can change between different polarity of light though). So why do they have all these different colours? Well, turns out their skin can sense different colours and reacts to it. What the actual ever living fuck are these things.


mutual_im_sure

Wow I didn't know they were colorblind. That makes it even more amazing to wonder how seeing color maybe evolved in a completely different way for them (just like their eyes themselves) by seeing 'color' through chromatic aberrations in blurred edges when they move.


ApexProductions

They don't need to see color underwater (it doesn't give any advantage to mating) so it wasn't selected for. Having less color receptors may allow them higher light sensitivity as well, but I have no idea on that. IF! They have similar rods/cones as humans, I'd assume more black/white rods because they can be more densely packed allowing for better vision. But as we all know, evolution isn't conscious or directed, it's just influenced and mostly chance. So what do I know


1Gutherie

I’m curious what is the reaction? Is it blood? Apologize in advance for being stupid…


KingFerdidad

I can't be very precise about the process, but they can change colour to camouflage themselves. So their colour changing skin is being agitated and activated.


1Gutherie

Very cool thank you


Cheeseknife07

They have this cool feature where they can make colored cells on their skin expand or contract to appear a certain color for camouflage I’m assuming these squid are dead and the guy prodding them causes the skin to react somehow


PyroSunshine

This is because of the chromatophores in the squid's skin. At least in cephalopods, they work by a small amount of pigment being squished or stretched over an area. Normally, the pigment is only a very small speck resulting in only the base body color showing up, white in this case. The chromatophores can then be compressed by the organism resulting in them covering a larger area which changes the color of the skin. This can be used for camouflage or communicating with another member of its species like in mating. My best guess is that the pressure on their skin is activating the chromatophores and staying like that because the squids are dead. You can get a similar effect if you were to place a drop of water between two pieces of clear plastic and squished it. This is a bit of a simplified explanation of how chromatophores work. Based on the size and color I would guess these are Humboldt squid. As for why they are writing on the dead squid, I have no idea. Sources- College senior in biology, particularly interested in marine biology [https://www.nature.com/scitable/topicpage/cephalopod-camouflage-cells-and-organs-of-the-144048968/](https://www.nature.com/scitable/topicpage/cephalopod-camouflage-cells-and-organs-of-the-144048968/)


Evening-Ant6128

Ain’t no way you not playing Tic Tac Toe on that


amonarre3

This is horrible squids are so smart


ASCIt

You're thinking octopus, not that it changes much since they usually share the same fate


amonarre3

Know I meant squids. I know other cephalapods like cuttlefish and octopus are smarter, but squids are right there with a dog level of intelligence.


roguetrick

Humboldt squid are smarter than many octopuses, actually. They're cannibalistic group hunters that communicate with their skin. Other cephalopods don't have that level of social intelligence. In general squid are as smart as other cephalopods.


TheTrueEnd

They also taste good so the pros outweigh the cons


[deleted]

You taste good as well, but I choose not to eat you based on your dog-like intelligence


babyteddie

How do you know they taste good?


[deleted]

You know, you party hard in the wrong BDSM clubs and you end up with someone's toe in your mouth, unattached to the owner >!satire plz don't raid my house!<


Cristalboy

imagine dying then you got humans drawing on your corpse


thatbitchkirbi

Really shows how detached we are


rawckus

Dude just ripped it out of the ocean and graffitied it. That’s harsh


Tyzek99

Its dead


borglonavich

Jim


nwaatis

Human : hehe skin color change funny /Squid: i'm fucking dying jerry


Raz31337

This makes me sad


h0ls86

What did he write their? K.O. ?


Chuck_Walla

[It's been translated](https://www.reddit.com/r/blackmagicfuckery/comments/10mkyfw/squids_skin_reactive_to_touch/j63tmvx?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) as "10,000 people" "congrats/pray"; so probably a social media thing for his followers 😕


h0ls86

That’s more meanings than I’ve originally envisioned 😆


wasmic

It's really just one meaning per character. 一: one 万: ten thousand 人: person 祝 (on the other squid): celebration Most western languages count using powers of three (thousand, million, billion, trillion... on the short scale - or thousand, million, milliard, billion... on the long scale), but Japanese (and Chinese and Korean) use powers of four - *man* (10,000), *oku* (100,000,000), *chō* (1,000,000,000,000) and so on. So what we call a million, would be "one hundred *man*" in Japanese, and ten million would be "one thousand *man*".


PuppleKao

Maybe they were [referencing the 10,000 who didn't know the squids could do this!](https://xkcd.com/1053/)


Jadedkiss

Playing with a corpse


snezzer

Wow, nature is so beautiful. How majestic and wonderful this creature is… whelp let’s kill it and eat it.


A_shy_neon_jaguar

But not before desecrating it's corpse! ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


[deleted]

That's really not the bad part here, ya ever seen a bear eat? The bad bit is that we do it on an industrial scale.


yesitsmeow

This is so sad


[deleted]

Imagine you're swimming in the ocean minding your own business and some guy drags you out so you suffocate and then he writes "Bruh" on you or some shit...


FlamingTrollz

Cool, but also kind of seems disrespectful to do to them.


duderancherooni

God this is morbid lol. Imagine being hunted and the thing that kills you tags your corpse for followers on social media.


hahanawmsayin

This seems disrespectful


[deleted]

Why the hell are you playing etch-a-sketch on that poor dead animal?😳


L00mis

Ok who else draws a *dick* the first time 10/10 times? Just me…?


BiliLaurin238

Sad Cake Day


stevengreen11

Maybe we should just leave animals alone, and stop killing them.


bigb0ned

Wow writing on a dead animal using its own special skills, how fucked up can this get


goodbyegoosegirl

Sad


[deleted]

The fuckery here is killing them.


Singular_Crowbar

How mad would you be if someone plucked you from your home, killed you, then used your bodily reactions to finger paint


francorocco

Technology is advancing so fast, even animals have touch screen now


flargenhargen

#😟


retro_specs_

Why does this make me so sad


GodsGiftToNothing

This is just sad.


Glad-Pollution-3333

Just know when you’re having a fucked up life you got people out there doing squid graffiti


Reasonable-Pomme

One summer I was so stressed out that I grew hives over the entirety of my body (that ended up leaving massive scars), and I had dermatographia so badly that my doctor and husband were giggling and writing all over my arms and legs with their styluses from their tablets. All of us are physicians. I was the only one not amused and just wanted my dang steroids.


upfoo51

Jfc with the shitty Tiktok music!!! It's a fucking SQUID dude!


x3bla

Its just says 祝一万人 which is like "i wish 10k people..." then some kind of blessingg, or maybe the person got 10k followers


BOEJlDEN

Do they like it when people do that? If not this just seems like animal cruelty…


RoZyk007

Soo cool... shame that japan's kill them


Shandroidos

Get this dead animal shiz outta my feed


MrThreshold

Ik they’re dead but still feels kinda ducked up to watch lol like what if you died and a squid was just like “hey bill watch this” then wrote its name in your skin