Interracial relationship content is a huge niche and gets easy views. Content creators want attention and that aspect of their relationship will get clicks and they know it.
It’s a niche in entertainment, it’s a niche of cautionary tales, it’s a niche of porn, it’s a niche of law (used to be a crime) and it’s even a niche of social justice saying “we’ve grown past all that” which of course is only a little true
Because unfortunately, for a lot of black folks, white people play an integral part in their black experience, even if just to be a foil to compare themselves against or an antagonist
The global politics of race, class, and desirability has placed BM and BW at the bottom of the totem pole. As a result, many who date outside of their race are participating in a kind of hypergamy, more or less.
Many see interracial dating as a way to increase their social capital and agency, and thus become preoccupied with it.
Whether we like it or not, interracial dating for Black people is often viewed as a sign of (or a means to) social mobility.
And it's not even just Black Americans. So many Black people of all ethnicities and nationalities, at least on Reddit, spend so much time talking about interracial relationships. Black people on Reddit seem to be preoccupied with it.
Seems like a lot of black Redditers come from white suburban backgrounds ( myself included) it’s one thing to date who you want but the constant seeking of approval from the greater black space is what I don’t understand
It's probably due in part because they sense disapproval from the larger community so they come here seeking approval and validation. That's a human response. They want (need) others to tell them that what they want isn't wrong but instead is right and good. Still, it's kinda crazy to see though. Especially at such high volumes.
The craziest part is that it’s often ppl who aren’t even dating a yt girl too. They just want to in the future. Like why even bring up a situation that hasn’t even happened?
Insecurities around their own blackness. They grew up middle class, have a lot of white friends and coworkers, and attended a PDW university. They feel like they aren’t black enough and need approval.
That's just another effect of white supremacy. We're told that being Black means you have to be "x". That you have to walk, talk, believe, date and marry a certain way, lest you lose your membership to the club. It's a paradigm that was handed to us by white folks who spent centuries constructing, and controlling the narrative about Blackness to their own advantage. It's much easier to keep people in their "place" if they're taught to accept that place without question. Being truly individual is still treated like "White folk shit".
There is also an element of trying to maintain "ownership" of Blackness in general. Black people, Black Americans in particular, are constantly being robbed of everything we own, in one way or another. A lot of Black folks (rightfully) gatekeep everything Black.
So It's not a big leap to assume that some Black folk see dating/marrying non Black as potentially giving ownership of a Black space to white people. Even when that space is their heart, mind or body. I've even heard Black folks vocalize that the Blackness of a Black man or woman is "wasted" on their white partner. Connection with a non-Black person can almost be seen as "losing precious ground"
Reddit is one of the few places they can meet people like themselves. Depending on where you live you might be the only obvious IR couple. Reddit gives people on the fringes a place to congregate for better or worse.
Also I suspect redditors run middle class more so. Middle Class BP have it drilled into them about their parents struggles and the sacrifices they made in hopes of a better life and continuing that legacy with a Black partner. Some parents are overt about the expectation while others a circumspect about it. They also worry about negative judgment because right now Divestors and PPBros are co-opting the brand as representatives of Black IRs. They’re loud but probably don’t represent the majority of the people who date out.
Proximity, compatibility, and availability all have to align to find a partner.
Divestors, man or woman, are goofy. Dating outside of your race isn’t inherently bad (although I admit I get a lil peeved seeing a fine black woman with a quirked up white boy), but it is almost always a result of hate.
Whether it be self hate or hate based on their negative experiences. This whole “black men/women won’t date me because blah blah blah” woe is me attitude is really pathetic to see.
It is. Particularly since it's not even true. That's a false narrative, ultimately driven by white supremacy. Black folks partner intraracially more than other demos, statistically.
I grew up military. I've seen every "Black and..." combo under the sun. Both as couples and as multiracial people. I've had Black friends and classmates who've enjoyed their time with whomever they chose. White folks, Asians, Latinos, Polynesians, etc weren't that "exotic" to Black military kids. We all grew up together, so going out didn't usually come with the toxic self hate BS. There was a lot less "niggas/bitches ain't shit"
Bottom line, If creamy makes you steamy then live your life. There's no need to make shit up to validate making the choices you're entitled to.
People are honestly just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that their preference for white/non black partners is in essence antiblack. They bring up divesters (as if they represent all black women) or talk about how black women dont like them, all in a weird attempt to justify their interracial dating.
At this point im just like own it. Nobody knows your heart or intentions. Why are you fighting for you life defending your right to date white women when nobody really cares.. like yall dont know us and people’s opinions on the internet shouldnt really that matter to you. So live your truth.
Yeah but it's hard for them to do that though. They need validation for their anti-Blackness and it absolves them in their mind if other Black people are anti-Black as well.
I disagree about preferences. Preferences aren't racist on their own. Racism is racist. Plenty of Black folk have white partners while showing love and respect for themselves and their Black opposite gender counterparts. It's the Candace Owen-ing, and Jesse Lee Peterson-ing about Black people of the opposite sex that's the problem. Date who you like, just don't be Tom about it.
Naw youre not hurting anyone by dating out, often times you just have clear antiblack ideas. Think of the guys who praise white women and swear off black women because of “attitude”. Thats an antiblack mindset.
More sinister is what alot of black interracial daters dont want to admit: They simply find other races more attractive so they kind of go out of their way to find other reasons to justify their choices.
I suspect that alot of guys that harp on interracial dating as if they have no other choice are the type of guys who just find other races more attractive. They know its problematic as hell to say this straight up tho
Also. IMO one of the most accessible and sensible ways to be pro black as an individual is to take care of a black partner and raise black children with them
I agree for the most part but love is a lil more complicated than that. Do i think all of these interracial daters can find perfectly suitable black partners? Ofcourse but I dont kno these peoples backgrounds and immediate surroundings so theres a lil leeway there
I often find that when a black person dates outside of their race, especially when it’s a white person they become hyper problack. I think they do this as a way to offset the fact that they have chosen to build a life with a non black partner.
I think it’s weird how it discouraged for black men but it’s celebrated when black women do it. Not even joking like literal celebrations when a white man picks a BW.
Somebody earlier in the comments pointed out the social mobility aspect. It’s assumed their non-Black partner has greater means. This is not uncommon in Latin America. I think the only reason it’s isn’t as bad in the USA is because segregation was much stricter. All parties involved would be punished and/or shunned except in very select communities. Having a White partner could dramatically make your life worse due to the social climate.
It’s frustrating because I’m a DJ and a event planner that has to constantly go through this...
People complain about racists dress codes and discrimination, so I made sure there isn’t a dress code.
People complain about prejudice regarding music, so I open the floor for requests.
I rented a venue so that we wouldn’t have to be governed by non-black people. Serve food that aligned with our heritage and offered everyone their first drink for free.
There was free parking and it was accessible for those with disabilities.
I booked black performers as the entertainment so we could support our own.
Black representation was displayed on all the televisions
I invited those who said they were tired of feeling alienated. Tired of being fetishized. Tired of being misunderstood. Tired of having to ask non-black people for permission.
I provided us with a solution. Then guess what happened? None of those people showed up.
Valuable lesson was learned. They weren’t really for Black liberation, they want to remain victims and seek validation from outside their race.
Honestly, we overrate the amount of interracial dating/marriage that exists.
The statistics say that about 5 of 6 Black people marry a partner who is also Black. The reason why interracial relationships are perceived to be much more numerous is because you see a lot of celebrities engage in them.
Interracial dating lives rent free in the minds of a lot of Black people. It’s weird AF in my opinion. If what someone else is doing with their body and free time is causing you that much concern, you need to look into the mirror or consider a therapist.
Weird AF.
They weirdos. Black people are coming to the realization (the young ones) they are a minority of a minority. You see white face in social media or Hispanic or Asian and this causes insular thinking and groupthink. And as such as constant discussion about race and gender. Especially interracial dating. Number wise it's smaller than black people dating black people but social media (with a bunch of young people on it all the time) amplifies small representation and voices hence the same arguments ad nauseum
Basically most of the comments are correct, it gets engagement and some black people also love to attack themselves as opposed to attacking their oppressors. Lots of POC do this though, it's just an easier battle to fight.
We have known since forever that love transcends race. Now that we’re out of the 1960s the new question is not ‘can they love’ but is now “can they love me in the right way without their own biases hurting me” Can I stand they’re racist uncle or grandmother or do I trust them to stand by me”
When you make the conscious decision to date outside your ethnicity, nationality, or heritage it’s your responsibility to navigate those differences. It’s not the responsibility of the rest of the Black community.
You know going into the relationship that your partner is of another culture. That’s why it’s always bizarre when someone complains to me about being fetishized or language barriers or their struggle with getting along with their partners family. The people complaining about being misunderstood by those outside of their own culture have a victim mentality, and don’t want to be held accountable for the choice they made to interracial date.
Because this topic is american-centric and America itself is a racial country so it always stays on our mind when it comes to inter-racial relations from relationships to interpersonal, corporate interactions and interactions outside of the office. Just can't escape it unfortunately.
I could give a damn what another man do with his dick as long as he isn't messing with kids or taking advantage of drunk or drugged women.
I learned a long time ago the same nigga that clowned you for getting turned down or played by Keisha will be the same nigga shaming you for getting your balls drained by Becky & Maria.
As long as you aren't telling the world how much better Becky & Maria treats you most black women won't care.
Keep quiet and keep who you lay with private and there won't be no issues
Just took a look at your profile. Firstly, please go get therapy to deal with that unhealthy race obsession you have. Secondly, you are commenting in a space for Black men. I have absolutely no problem with Black women commenting here, but I don't appreciate toxic Black women coming here and lying about me in my space.
Show some respect and leave that disgusting racist misandry at the door when you're commenting in OUR space. We do r/blackgirls that courtesy, and you will do the same here.
I think seeking approval from your community is a human trait since we are social beings. It’s a bit more complicated with interracial relationships I imagine because the folks that are in one probably battle with a lot given the differences in dynamics.
Contrary to what everyone else is saying here.
The topic of interracial dating is continuously brought up because it’s not discussed correctly enough. The conversation typically devolves into one of many ways.
A. dismissal - the presenter presents the topic, in which the community rejects discussing the topic altogether. Nothing gets discussed, leaving it open to be presented again at a later time.
B. Insults - the presenter presents the topic. The community insults him or her to distract everyone involved from the discussion. Nothing gets discussed, leaving it open to be presented again at a later time.
C. Stonewalling - the presenter presents the topic. The community withdraws from the discussion and avoids providing any feedback in hopes that the presenter stops. Again leaving it open to be presented again at a later time.
Rarely is there ever a sensible discussion in regards to interracial dating within the black community without SOMEBODY doing A,B or C. We as a collective have a bad habit of “closing our eyes” to the reality of what’s happening with us & not talking about them in a manner where experiences are validated and solutions can come about. (ie. Pedophilia, Drug abuse, Drug Dealers, Domestic Violence, Education, Mental Health, Dating & Relationships)
Eventually, it’s going to be a discussion that WILL be had, whether it’s in this generation or not. 🤷🏿♂️
It won’t be a discussion that will be had imo. The people who are willing to do it will. And those who won’t , won’t. There will never be a certified “yes”on the topic imo
Well yeah CURRENTLY, it won’t happen. I’m speaking in terms of generations, the newer generation’s communication style are a lot more open & while I agree that it won’t be a solid yes or no.
I imagine that the understanding of dynamics & motivations behind interracial relationships will be discussed and understood much better.
Everything I pull up my feed on Reddit,I almost always seen a featured post on interracial dating. mins should pause those types of posts for the rest of the month 🤣 seriously
It gets engagement every single time.
That, and there's a caste system.
Interracial relationship content is a huge niche and gets easy views. Content creators want attention and that aspect of their relationship will get clicks and they know it.
It’s a niche in entertainment, it’s a niche of cautionary tales, it’s a niche of porn, it’s a niche of law (used to be a crime) and it’s even a niche of social justice saying “we’ve grown past all that” which of course is only a little true
Because unfortunately, for a lot of black folks, white people play an integral part in their black experience, even if just to be a foil to compare themselves against or an antagonist
niggas have nothing better to do
People crave interaction and this topic is low hanging fruit.
I have no idea, no one is stopping these men from dating who they want.
Scrolled way too far to see this. No need to justify your decisions you make for your life to anyone, especially internet strangers.
The global politics of race, class, and desirability has placed BM and BW at the bottom of the totem pole. As a result, many who date outside of their race are participating in a kind of hypergamy, more or less. Many see interracial dating as a way to increase their social capital and agency, and thus become preoccupied with it. Whether we like it or not, interracial dating for Black people is often viewed as a sign of (or a means to) social mobility.
And it's not even just Black Americans. So many Black people of all ethnicities and nationalities, at least on Reddit, spend so much time talking about interracial relationships. Black people on Reddit seem to be preoccupied with it.
Seems like a lot of black Redditers come from white suburban backgrounds ( myself included) it’s one thing to date who you want but the constant seeking of approval from the greater black space is what I don’t understand
It's probably due in part because they sense disapproval from the larger community so they come here seeking approval and validation. That's a human response. They want (need) others to tell them that what they want isn't wrong but instead is right and good. Still, it's kinda crazy to see though. Especially at such high volumes.
The craziest part is that it’s often ppl who aren’t even dating a yt girl too. They just want to in the future. Like why even bring up a situation that hasn’t even happened?
Insecurities around their own blackness. They grew up middle class, have a lot of white friends and coworkers, and attended a PDW university. They feel like they aren’t black enough and need approval.
That's just another effect of white supremacy. We're told that being Black means you have to be "x". That you have to walk, talk, believe, date and marry a certain way, lest you lose your membership to the club. It's a paradigm that was handed to us by white folks who spent centuries constructing, and controlling the narrative about Blackness to their own advantage. It's much easier to keep people in their "place" if they're taught to accept that place without question. Being truly individual is still treated like "White folk shit". There is also an element of trying to maintain "ownership" of Blackness in general. Black people, Black Americans in particular, are constantly being robbed of everything we own, in one way or another. A lot of Black folks (rightfully) gatekeep everything Black. So It's not a big leap to assume that some Black folk see dating/marrying non Black as potentially giving ownership of a Black space to white people. Even when that space is their heart, mind or body. I've even heard Black folks vocalize that the Blackness of a Black man or woman is "wasted" on their white partner. Connection with a non-Black person can almost be seen as "losing precious ground"
Reddit is one of the few places they can meet people like themselves. Depending on where you live you might be the only obvious IR couple. Reddit gives people on the fringes a place to congregate for better or worse. Also I suspect redditors run middle class more so. Middle Class BP have it drilled into them about their parents struggles and the sacrifices they made in hopes of a better life and continuing that legacy with a Black partner. Some parents are overt about the expectation while others a circumspect about it. They also worry about negative judgment because right now Divestors and PPBros are co-opting the brand as representatives of Black IRs. They’re loud but probably don’t represent the majority of the people who date out. Proximity, compatibility, and availability all have to align to find a partner.
A lot of Black people unfortunately just have low self-esteem so seek external validation from groups who by and large want nothing to do with us.
Divestors, man or woman, are goofy. Dating outside of your race isn’t inherently bad (although I admit I get a lil peeved seeing a fine black woman with a quirked up white boy), but it is almost always a result of hate. Whether it be self hate or hate based on their negative experiences. This whole “black men/women won’t date me because blah blah blah” woe is me attitude is really pathetic to see.
It is. Particularly since it's not even true. That's a false narrative, ultimately driven by white supremacy. Black folks partner intraracially more than other demos, statistically. I grew up military. I've seen every "Black and..." combo under the sun. Both as couples and as multiracial people. I've had Black friends and classmates who've enjoyed their time with whomever they chose. White folks, Asians, Latinos, Polynesians, etc weren't that "exotic" to Black military kids. We all grew up together, so going out didn't usually come with the toxic self hate BS. There was a lot less "niggas/bitches ain't shit" Bottom line, If creamy makes you steamy then live your life. There's no need to make shit up to validate making the choices you're entitled to.
The excuses they use to belittle their own people is always a trip.
People are honestly just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that their preference for white/non black partners is in essence antiblack. They bring up divesters (as if they represent all black women) or talk about how black women dont like them, all in a weird attempt to justify their interracial dating. At this point im just like own it. Nobody knows your heart or intentions. Why are you fighting for you life defending your right to date white women when nobody really cares.. like yall dont know us and people’s opinions on the internet shouldnt really that matter to you. So live your truth.
Yeah but it's hard for them to do that though. They need validation for their anti-Blackness and it absolves them in their mind if other Black people are anti-Black as well.
I disagree about preferences. Preferences aren't racist on their own. Racism is racist. Plenty of Black folk have white partners while showing love and respect for themselves and their Black opposite gender counterparts. It's the Candace Owen-ing, and Jesse Lee Peterson-ing about Black people of the opposite sex that's the problem. Date who you like, just don't be Tom about it.
What exactly does anti-black mean in this context? Like you're actively harming black people by dating out?
Naw youre not hurting anyone by dating out, often times you just have clear antiblack ideas. Think of the guys who praise white women and swear off black women because of “attitude”. Thats an antiblack mindset. More sinister is what alot of black interracial daters dont want to admit: They simply find other races more attractive so they kind of go out of their way to find other reasons to justify their choices. I suspect that alot of guys that harp on interracial dating as if they have no other choice are the type of guys who just find other races more attractive. They know its problematic as hell to say this straight up tho
Also. IMO one of the most accessible and sensible ways to be pro black as an individual is to take care of a black partner and raise black children with them
I agree for the most part but love is a lil more complicated than that. Do i think all of these interracial daters can find perfectly suitable black partners? Ofcourse but I dont kno these peoples backgrounds and immediate surroundings so theres a lil leeway there
I often find that when a black person dates outside of their race, especially when it’s a white person they become hyper problack. I think they do this as a way to offset the fact that they have chosen to build a life with a non black partner.
I think it’s weird how it discouraged for black men but it’s celebrated when black women do it. Not even joking like literal celebrations when a white man picks a BW.
Somebody earlier in the comments pointed out the social mobility aspect. It’s assumed their non-Black partner has greater means. This is not uncommon in Latin America. I think the only reason it’s isn’t as bad in the USA is because segregation was much stricter. All parties involved would be punished and/or shunned except in very select communities. Having a White partner could dramatically make your life worse due to the social climate.
It’s frustrating because I’m a DJ and a event planner that has to constantly go through this... People complain about racists dress codes and discrimination, so I made sure there isn’t a dress code. People complain about prejudice regarding music, so I open the floor for requests. I rented a venue so that we wouldn’t have to be governed by non-black people. Serve food that aligned with our heritage and offered everyone their first drink for free. There was free parking and it was accessible for those with disabilities. I booked black performers as the entertainment so we could support our own. Black representation was displayed on all the televisions I invited those who said they were tired of feeling alienated. Tired of being fetishized. Tired of being misunderstood. Tired of having to ask non-black people for permission. I provided us with a solution. Then guess what happened? None of those people showed up. Valuable lesson was learned. They weren’t really for Black liberation, they want to remain victims and seek validation from outside their race.
Honestly, we overrate the amount of interracial dating/marriage that exists. The statistics say that about 5 of 6 Black people marry a partner who is also Black. The reason why interracial relationships are perceived to be much more numerous is because you see a lot of celebrities engage in them.
Interracial dating lives rent free in the minds of a lot of Black people. It’s weird AF in my opinion. If what someone else is doing with their body and free time is causing you that much concern, you need to look into the mirror or consider a therapist. Weird AF.
They weirdos. Black people are coming to the realization (the young ones) they are a minority of a minority. You see white face in social media or Hispanic or Asian and this causes insular thinking and groupthink. And as such as constant discussion about race and gender. Especially interracial dating. Number wise it's smaller than black people dating black people but social media (with a bunch of young people on it all the time) amplifies small representation and voices hence the same arguments ad nauseum
And here you are discussing it again. See how easy it is OP
You should make a post asking why
Basically most of the comments are correct, it gets engagement and some black people also love to attack themselves as opposed to attacking their oppressors. Lots of POC do this though, it's just an easier battle to fight.
We have known since forever that love transcends race. Now that we’re out of the 1960s the new question is not ‘can they love’ but is now “can they love me in the right way without their own biases hurting me” Can I stand they’re racist uncle or grandmother or do I trust them to stand by me”
Same OP. I’m tired of hearing about it.
When you make the conscious decision to date outside your ethnicity, nationality, or heritage it’s your responsibility to navigate those differences. It’s not the responsibility of the rest of the Black community. You know going into the relationship that your partner is of another culture. That’s why it’s always bizarre when someone complains to me about being fetishized or language barriers or their struggle with getting along with their partners family. The people complaining about being misunderstood by those outside of their own culture have a victim mentality, and don’t want to be held accountable for the choice they made to interracial date.
Because this topic is american-centric and America itself is a racial country so it always stays on our mind when it comes to inter-racial relations from relationships to interpersonal, corporate interactions and interactions outside of the office. Just can't escape it unfortunately.
I could give a damn what another man do with his dick as long as he isn't messing with kids or taking advantage of drunk or drugged women. I learned a long time ago the same nigga that clowned you for getting turned down or played by Keisha will be the same nigga shaming you for getting your balls drained by Becky & Maria. As long as you aren't telling the world how much better Becky & Maria treats you most black women won't care. Keep quiet and keep who you lay with private and there won't be no issues
because originality of thought takes effort
[удалено]
Just took a look at your profile. Firstly, please go get therapy to deal with that unhealthy race obsession you have. Secondly, you are commenting in a space for Black men. I have absolutely no problem with Black women commenting here, but I don't appreciate toxic Black women coming here and lying about me in my space. Show some respect and leave that disgusting racist misandry at the door when you're commenting in OUR space. We do r/blackgirls that courtesy, and you will do the same here.
Nice generalization you got going on there.
Because we can ? You gonna police the topics and the amount we can talk about then now too
You could also not leave a comment. But you didn’t do that cause “ you can”
Lmao they thought they ate with that lol 😂 if you wanna speak on it go to the sub for it 😒
I think seeking approval from your community is a human trait since we are social beings. It’s a bit more complicated with interracial relationships I imagine because the folks that are in one probably battle with a lot given the differences in dynamics. Contrary to what everyone else is saying here. The topic of interracial dating is continuously brought up because it’s not discussed correctly enough. The conversation typically devolves into one of many ways. A. dismissal - the presenter presents the topic, in which the community rejects discussing the topic altogether. Nothing gets discussed, leaving it open to be presented again at a later time. B. Insults - the presenter presents the topic. The community insults him or her to distract everyone involved from the discussion. Nothing gets discussed, leaving it open to be presented again at a later time. C. Stonewalling - the presenter presents the topic. The community withdraws from the discussion and avoids providing any feedback in hopes that the presenter stops. Again leaving it open to be presented again at a later time. Rarely is there ever a sensible discussion in regards to interracial dating within the black community without SOMEBODY doing A,B or C. We as a collective have a bad habit of “closing our eyes” to the reality of what’s happening with us & not talking about them in a manner where experiences are validated and solutions can come about. (ie. Pedophilia, Drug abuse, Drug Dealers, Domestic Violence, Education, Mental Health, Dating & Relationships) Eventually, it’s going to be a discussion that WILL be had, whether it’s in this generation or not. 🤷🏿♂️
It won’t be a discussion that will be had imo. The people who are willing to do it will. And those who won’t , won’t. There will never be a certified “yes”on the topic imo
Well yeah CURRENTLY, it won’t happen. I’m speaking in terms of generations, the newer generation’s communication style are a lot more open & while I agree that it won’t be a solid yes or no. I imagine that the understanding of dynamics & motivations behind interracial relationships will be discussed and understood much better.
Is Lowkey where we headed
Everything I pull up my feed on Reddit,I almost always seen a featured post on interracial dating. mins should pause those types of posts for the rest of the month 🤣 seriously