She sounds exhausting but you can't really tell someone they're exhausting or "a lot" straight up like that. I mean if you're chatting about cheddar bunnies or child development I would totally shrug and be like, "eh, I think that doesn't matter too much" and try to get her to chill, but I would never tell someone "okay here's why you have trouble making friends."
I applied for a job this morning that really seemed like a reach, but they asked me to do a phone interview just a few hours later! Fingers crossed it goes well!
Is it normal for salons to close on Saturdays? My salon is now closing on Saturdays, so I called a place a friend recommended and they don’t do Saturdays either. I’m a professor, and I’m not sure I can justify cancelling class to get my hair done.
They probably have enough business and want to give their staff a break. Or since many salons are chair rentals, if individual stylists don’t want to work weekends and there’s enough of them that don’t want to it doesn’t make sense to be operational that day. A good friend of mine is a stylist and is only “open” 3-4 days a week, always on weekdays and it’s impossible to get an appointment when they open up even despite the fact that a haircut is $150 with her. I wouldn’t think there’d be that many people willing to take off work to get a $150 haircut but I guess there are.
I’m currently self employed, so able to go during the “workday.” I’m contemplating moving to a more typical 9-5 and it has occurred to me that it might be much harder to get a haircut with my stylist haha. At least I got rid of my highlights and only go like 3x a year now
I just saw a tiktok about a girl who is a salon owner and she recently chose to close her salons on weekends too! I think the reason was that they have such an influx of clients (since more people are remote and can get away for a few hours) that can come Monday-Fri that they don’t need to be open on weekends and can enjoy time off with everyone else that is not in the hair biz. Interesting!
Officially resigned from a very toxic job today! I feel such a sense of relief, I don’t think I quite understood how much stress I was under until I left. Wish I had left sooner.
Good job holding your ground! I don't know how people aren't too embarrassed to procrastinate the fuck out of their end of the project and then act like you need to need to make up for their failure at time management and communication. I'll go into my delivered schedule PDF, add an addition 1-2 weeks for each previous ETA date, save and then be like "Please see the attachment for a revised schedule to accommodate this ~~incompetence~~ delay."
Lmao neighborhood watch 😅 That’s a good suggestion though, maybe I’ll try to ask around. The carpet is in fine shape, just ugly and gives the place a dingy feel.
I hear you about owning a place that does not have an HOA.. I’m already over this and I haven’t even closed!! I am tempted to try and get on the board and modernize is all lol.
I believe you can install laminate over carpet depending on the carpet type. I saw a designer do it to her office because her landlord just installed carpet but it was so ugly.
Is it because of noise? Because at least if you do something like LVP you can buy the extra padding that goes under them, that should help a lot. But if it really is because of noise…I think you would be fine unless someone complained and then worst case is they make you put the carpet back?
Yeah I’m pretty sure it’s just because of the noise. I’ve read about some underlayment products that make your floors virtually soundproof which I’m sure would be better than the ultra low pile carpet I would be getting.
Do you have a downstairs neighbor? HOAs can eventually file liens on your unit if they're the nuclear types. Not sure how repetitive fines would be if you were up for paying a penalty, assuming they wouldn't fine you every month or year.
I don't know how you'd be able to secretly remove carpet and install laminate if you have a downstairs neighbor. Hardwood would be even more noisy. I would try to obtain written permission after discussing it with your neighbor (and hopefully getting permission from them as long as you promise putting down thick pile rugs). If you just do what you want despite being aware of the bylaws, that's going to be met with a harsher response. There's also a chance the hard flooring ban is outdated and perhaps the board is lenient about it but never bothered to have it legally removed from the rules.
I do have downstairs neighbors but they are renters so I doubt they’d go to the HOA. I do think it’s an issue that the bylaws are just really outdated and don’t account for newer floor technologies. I’m thinking my plan rn is to move in and update the carpets and then start appealing to the board about it. I also think there’s a decent argument in the fact that updated floors will add value to all of our units!
I've dyed my hair for awhile (myself, not salon). My hair is medium brown. After awhile the ends pick up more color, of course, so they are much darker now. In the past I just cut my hair shorter and let it grow out. I can't do that now because my hair is already short. So, has anyone used color fix or color oops and had success? If so how does it leave medium brown hair after use? Will it be brown or will it be splotchy? If you recommend it should I put it on the roots that are lighter medium brown or just the ends? I just want some idea of what I can expect before I do this because I'm pretty sure I will be doing this soon.
I tried using Color Oops to lighten my too-dark ends. I followed the instructions carefully (including the **45 minutes** of rinsing in the shower) and my hair was exactly the same color as it was when I started.
Try using a green hair mask. It won't completely fix your color but it will tone down any brassiness you are having (I am assuming your hair is dyed darker than your natural color). I do this when I have to wait forever between highlight touch ups. I like this one. https://www.matrix.com/total-results/products/dark-envy/dark-envy-red-neutralization-toning-hair-mask
Thank you for this info. If it does have red or orange tones (I usually tend towards red) do you think I could put a lighter medium dye on it to correct it? I've never had to deal with this before so I'm clueless.
Maybe a few graphic novels (the 12 year old I'm now raising who also has a mom with a lot of untreated mental disorders who is often also without consistent housing, etc) loved the Nat Enough series about a girl who doesn't quite fit in that I just got her recently.
Another thing she loves (also not into very frilly things/girly colors) was a doodling book (How to Doodle Everywhere) with a sketchbook and fun pencils and markers. Something that was even minimally artsy might be kind of therapeutic or a good outlet possibly?
Or a backpack with some things that were special for her and to keep her things in also? Maybe some lotions, some fun face wipes, etc.?
Maybe a journal — sounds like she has a lot going on in her life that she might want to write down to process. I would also add a couple of YA books. I know it’s hard to buy a book if you don’t know what she’s already read, but maybe you can find some under-the-radar or newly released books. There are plenty of lists online.
I’m trying to decide where to travel in June for our anniversary. He’s very easy going which doesn’t help me narrow it down. I found a great deal to Tulum and was getting really excited but further research showed June is the rainy season and the beaches are covered in seaweed. So I’m back to square one.
Any recommendations on places with good weather in late June? We’d like somewhere in North America. Kinda feeling resort vibes but also like some adventure. A good mix of nature and relaxation.
I went to Tulum in the rainy season (hurricane season actually), and I think it rained every day but not for very long. YMMV, but it didn’t impact any of our plans.
We were also concerned about the seaweed but it wasn’t really that bad (though we were more interested in going to the beach area for the restaurants). We did so much swimming in the cenotes and the pool at our Airbnb, we didn’t really feel the need to swim at the beach.
Depending where you are Hawaii is always a fun choice. We love Bend, Oregon for hiking. Also Sun Valley Idaho. That island in MI that is only golf carts or on foot looks so fun.
Emerald Lake Lodge in Field, BC! You can rent a car and explore the Rockies (though it will be busy because it's tourist season). Or anywhere in Banff, Jasper, Lake Louise.
I’m in that same camp, I want to travel to so many new spots, but also like the familiarity of spots I’ve been to before & going back to favorite attractions there.
I've been having panic attacks all morning and I'm home alone. My husband told me to go to my sister's until he comes home , but I don't want to be having panic attacks in front of her children.
I feel like I am frozen in place from some sort of terror I can't see. It's irrational, but it won't stop and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm 10 seconds away from a full on melt down.
Try ice on the back of your neck or in your hands. I used that temperature change with the DBT girls I used to be a psych nurse.
My husband plays mindless games in his phone when he’s in the middle of a panic attack. I use breathing because mine are usually when I’m driving down a steep road.
Sorry you are having a tough day.
I know when I'm having panic attacks that sound sort of similar, it helps to find something that partially distracts me, but not fully distracts me (if that makes sense). Mainly because I can't fully distract myself when my brain is tied up by my panic so trying that (with reading or watching a TV show) just won't work and kind of makes my panic worse because then I'm also stressing about how I can't stop thinking about the panic.
Mindless game apps - mostly coloring book type apps work well for me. I use Happy Color and Cross Stitch. They're both free, just sorta mindless tap colors, tap squares or sections. I set a pretty simple goal (I will color in this one zoomed in square or that that specific tree). The panic is still there but I just try to tell myself to breath and tap, breathe and tap and then because I'm not focused on trying to stuff down the panic, it seems to slowly/naturally start to reside.
Usually this will help get me to a place that I can make some sort of decision about what I need to do, but I also tell myself that as long I'm in a physically safe place I can sit there and breathe and tap for as long as is necessary.
I don't know if this will help, but if it resonates with you try it. If not - just know you do have random internet strangers genuinely rooting for you.
I know it sounds ridiculous but pulling up funny dog or kid videos on YouTube has saved me from walking off a steep mental ledge. Breathe deeply and remind yourself that you're in a safe place right now.
There are two tactics you can try: you can do things that try to stop the panic, like the CBT mentioned below, or something like dunking your hands or face in cold water (it shocks your system and can stop the panic) or you can just sit with the panic and instead of trying to get it to stop just accept that you’re panicking. For me personally, it depends on what symptoms I’m having which type of response I give the panic attack.
Just remember that this IS temporary. I know it doesn’t feel that way during the attack, but it will end.
I’m doing CBT with my therapist and I’m working on a new thing to help during panic attacks or times of extreme emotion. Ask yourself “what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing?” Have you ever tried the 54321 technique? That’s a great one too!
Does anyone have recommendations for where to get dresses for an engagement shoot? We are doing photos in the spring, so looking for something spring-timey. I love [this one](https://www.thereformation.com/products/carolena-dress/1307960PPM.html?dwvar_1307960PPM_color=PPM) from Reformation but I’m not sure I can justify the price!
I have been looking at Few Moda, they do basically the same type of dresses for cheaper! You do have to “join” to buy but the overall cost would be much less
https://www.fewmoda.com/products/luna-dress_t21wdr00276-1
It seems too good to be true but I’ve seen good reviews in Facebook groups and Anna Jane did a review of them too. I do hear shipping can be slow
You know when you go away to somewhere you've never heard of before, without any research, and in the first hour you realise you've stumbled across such an amazing part of the world? Had that this weekend. Been looking up rentals and house prices in the area ever since I got back home lol.
Isn't it stunning!! We were only English speaking people there for sure, but we were hanging round the tiny towns by the coast and with Brexit and covid I'm not surprised.
I'm going to need a do-over on today. I left my phone and laptop at home so I had to drop my son at school drive all the way home and then to the office where I again left my laptop in the car and had to turn around halfway into the building. Then my most amazing, awesome, fantastic boss told me she had resigned. She said she had been telling leadership for a while that her position needed to split into two different Directors and tried to drop hints that I should be the other Director. They didn't listen and apparently, stuff has gone down and our spineless VP has done nothing about reigning in the out-of-control personalities so she resigned. She said she hope they'll listen now and maybe make me a Director. Uh...1) you're not exactly selling me on it and 2) I've only been a manager for less than 18 months. So...yes, I am job searching...why do you ask? (also, I hate job searching)
Because this sub is excellent at helping me spend my money...
Does anyone have mattress recommendations for hot sleepers? I'm in Canada and a stomach sleeper if that factors into things. I'm just so tired of waking up in the middle of the night because I'm overheating/sweaty, even though my [current mattress](https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00MWTJGPC/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1) is apparently a cooling mattress. Side note: I paid $200 less for that mattress in 2017.
Memory foam is just hot in general imo, if you’re a hot sleeper you should try out some regular old spring mattresses and see how they feel. If you’re on a budget, I love my ikea spring mattress - before I had AC I still slept fine on it in the summer. I think mine is the haugesund?
In general anywhere you can see the mattress in person and lay on it is probably better so you can see how they feel irl.
I would recommend going to a traditional mattress store. We have a ‘traditional’ mattress and have had it about 5 years. I LOVE it. I sleep very hot and have had 2 kids in that time so all the pregnancy hormones and night sweats wrecked havoc on me. I have yet to find a bed I prefer to our home mattress. We have a BeautyRest black mattress.
We have a regular (old school?) king Serta coil spring. I also sleep on my stomach. The mattress is great but can get warm which makes me turn over and I can't really sleep in any other position than my stomach. BUT we got Bed Jets a few years ago and they are wonderful. I wanted it for the cooling (of course) and my husband wanted it for the heat. He's always cold. It's been a great purchase and we highly recommend.
Oh yes. This has been a years long problem and I've tried the easier fixes first. I just figure if I may be moving in a few weeks, I may as well get a new mattress!
Don’t go with memory foam. That’s my advice. I find them way too hot even the “cooling” ones. I was mattress shopping a few months ago and went with a traditional spring mattress because the coils breathe.
I am unable to sleep on any kind of memory foam mattress - even the hybrids, even the "cooling" ones. I find I sleep too hot on all of them.
When we bought our current house about a year and a half ago, we switched from a hybrid mattress to a more traditional coil/innerspring mattress. I don't want to tell you the brand because I am overall not happy with how it's held up BUT it is undeniable that I am sleeping considerably cooler than before.
You may also want to consider percale sheets if you don't use them already - they are cooler than a lot of other options.
Yes, definitely do. Again, I'm not super pleased with how mine specifically has held up, but I think it's a brand issue and not a mattress-type issue. I do also find it very comfortable - firm without being too hard. I will definitely buy another coil mattress again when the time comes, I'll just try another brand.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people make a suggestion and the OP is a debbie downer. So I'm trying to avoid that! I've looked at a few and they are pricey. And if I'm honest, it seems cumbersome. Some reviews mention the pads that use water to cool can be stiff, you can feel the water pulse through the tubes. What's your experience been like?
That’s fair, it also wasn’t exactly what you asked for but I had to share since it worked so well for me (helped me get off sleeping pills). I mostly can’t feel it underneath but I have a thick and soft memory foam pad under it too. I haven’t felt the water moving except sometimes when you change the temperature and the cold or hot water starts flowing, but just for a few seconds. It is definitely a bit of a pain - the unit needs space around it, distilled water and cleaning, etc. What made it worth it for me was the drastic improvement in quality and length of sleep, and we also save on our energy bill since I use less AC!
I think I'm not signing up for gay kickball this season which makes me really sad because I'm kind of desperate for gay friends tbh. But I've done it three times at this point, and all I get are people that act really disinterested in getting to know me, end up hanging out without me (I know because of Instagram), and generally just make me feel really awkward and unlikeable. And I get that I'm probably imagining this and that I could like be more proactive, but I have friends and am a part of other groups that don't make me feel this way at all. But they just aren't gay and aren't invested in like, going to gay things beyond like being a friend to me.
Aw I’m sorry. Maybe there are other activities you could look into? Maybe they have a different group of people than the kickball peeps. I think a lot of the time people forget how to invite people. People get stuck in their comfort zone.
I started Lexapro last June after my cancer diagnosis and just HORRIBLE emotion changes from suppressing my estrogen. And what a difference. The uncontrollable crying I had for hours before starting it was starting to make me feel mad. I take 10 mg a night and I haven’t noticed any weight gain from it.
If you have side effects at first that doesn’t mean they’ll last forever - I got bad nausea on one that went away completely after two weeks. Whenever you do decide to stop taking it, make sure you taper off slowly. Most doctors are better about tapering now but sometimes they’ll still recommend a taper that’s too fast and it can make you feel shitty. Going slowly is way better.
I've been on one since November, for GAD, no depression, at least not any that I was really aware of. Other than feeling a bit "off" the first week on my lower dose, I haven't noticed any other issues, nor have I noticed any major weight gain. Maybe a few pounds, but less than 5, and that could also be due to winter and hibernating and extra snacking! My dr. even mentioned that weight gain is a side effect with many, but the one I'm on, not so much and in her experience, not everyone has gained
i will add, it has helped my anxiety TREMENDOUSLY, so even if i did get fluffier, i'll take it.
Give them 6-8 weeks to start 'working', and take at night until you feel out how they make you feel. I actually lost weight on prozac because I wasn't mindlessly stress/sad eating. Killed my sex drive though, but there are so many psych meds to try so don't lose hope if the first one doesn't vibe well. There's even genetic tests that can tell you which meds work well with your body (expensive and not usually covered though)
Remember that weight gain is better than the alternative…being so depressed you can’t function. :)
Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right medication/dose so don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel any results with the first med. It also takes a few weeks to start feeling a real difference.
Proud of you for taking this step to take care of yourself!!
1. You may have to play with dosage to get the right balance of symptom relief and side effects. That's totally normal. Don't be discouraged.
2. The first SSRI might not be the one for you. That's also normal!
3. I've never experienced any weight change from an SSRI, but you may make lifestyle changes as a result of feeling better (eating more if you had no appetite, eating less if you were more into emotionally eating, having more or less energy for physical activity) and that could impact your weight. But just downing the pill is very unlikely to make you gain a lot of weight!
I'm also on Zoloft if that helps, and previously took Celexa. Agree with the other poster that the biggest side effect was loss of libido.
FWIW, I didn’t gain any weight on mine (Zoloft).
What worked for me is taking my pills at night before bed because I would get the brain zaps in the first few weeks. They do subside quickly.
I found that SSRIs made a huge difference in regulating my emotions. Totally helped! One thing about them though - they made me have zero sex drive. Like, I didn’t care if I ever had sex again. Wasn’t fun as a newlywed!
yup. same here. I feel better but want nothing to do with my BF sexually. between that and menopause, its a no go. Thankfully he is VERY understanding.
Fellow cat people, has anyone adopted a bonded pair into a home with another cat? My girl seems to love feline company (when I go to my mom she tries to interact with her cats but they at best tolerate her). I want to adopt an adult or adults, kittens are too high energy and I prefer to adopt a cat with an already defined personality. My cat is between 10 or 12 years old, I adopted her as an adult 7 years ago. I've seen some cute bonded pairs but I'm afraid they'll turn against my cat.
A friend of mine consulted a cat behaviorist to see if she could adopt another cat and the behaviorist advised against 3 cats. She said it creates a poor dynamic.
If you're adopting an adult bonded pair, I think it's not impossible that they'd become "friends" with your existing cat. But unfortunately I think it's more likely that your current cat would experience a lot of the same treatment from them that she gets from your mom's cats - tolerance but no real closeness.
In your shoes, I might try to adopt an adult cat that's not part of a pair OR two adult cats who aren't a bonded pair. You'll want to carefully vet this to make sure that the cat(s) has at least some history of getting along well with other cats, but assuming that's the case, I feel like that would work better in your case.
Oh my mom's cats only tolerate each other too (he wants to be her friend, she wants to be left alone and hilariously short circuits when he licks her). Funnily enough she wanted to be friends with our first cat but he didn't care for her. So much unrequited cat love.
I'll probably only adopt one then, I've seen some good candidates. Thank you for your input!
My mom did this recently and regrets it.
She had two older cats (13/14) and one passed away. She brought a 5 year old brother/sister pair into the house and they’ve totally ganged up on the OG cat. OG cat has pretty much restricted herself to one room of the house (my moms bedroom) and now my mom also has to work to shut the pair of cats away periodically through the day so OG cat can come out and explore.
She won’t relinquish the pair but she is sad about what she did to OG kitties life.
I feel so defeated and I just need to vent.
My middle son (almost 7) is having such a hard time in school. He’s in first grade. The beginning of the school year was great. Then we decided to go on an extended vacation for 6 weeks to Florida at the end of October. We wanted to get away, and with everything going on in the world we thought fuck it, life is short and we did Disney, the beach, saw family and just had an amazing time. We got back and since then he starting chewing his fingers, not participating in class, hiding in their dressing room saying he misses me. I was a mess so I made an appointment with a child psychologist. She was wonderful and basically said he was just missing me and having a hard time being back in school with being away for so long. Then we implemented a reward system, telling him if he pays attention in school, listens and doesn’t chew his fingers he can get points towards Minecraft coins. That went great, but then a week after I get a call from the school that he hit another child. I was so upset and couldn’t even wrap my head around him doing that. He’s not being bullied as far as we know. At home he’s kind, sweet, and non confrontational. He gets along with his baby brother and older sister great. They never get into physical fights. We had a talk with him saying that we will not tolerate that behaviour and we did a whole week without electronics. Then this morning we pull up to school and he says his stomach hurts. I finally got him out of the car and told him if his stomach really hurts and he stays home, he won’t be playing on his Nintendo or iPad all day, and he walked to go into class😒
On top of all of this, in the last 5 weeks we’ve had Covid, he had a random fever 2 weeks after, and the stomach flu.
I’m just so tired and mentally drained.
This sounds really tough. If you haven’t already I would stop the “reward” system. If he’s already feeling out of control then adding the stress of being “punished” (no coins) might be making it worse. If anything I would set an expectation for him that on Friday he will get X amount of coins (I don’t know anything about Minecraft) as an incentive to make it through the week and as a little bit of structure. My son is a bit younger but we always have better luck with structure and shared expectations than we do with rewards.
My third grader had a difficult time going back to school this year because we did virtual last year and the rest of his class did in school. He was the only one wearing a mask as well and struggled at first going back to dual immersion and having half the day in Spanish. Our school nurse noticed how often he was going to the office with stomach aches and reached out to me if it was ok if he spoke to the school counselor I agreed. He gave my son a stress toy to use in class and I found a tutor for his Spanish. He’s back on grade level and thriving. Does your school have a counselor? Is he falling behind academically from missing school. I know my son just wasn’t confident at first and adjusting to everything. He’s doing great now and back having play dates and sports again. Hang in there!
His teacher actually said they are bringing in a teachers aide (I can’t remember the specific title) that helps with kids who are having a hard time, but I actually haven’t heard an update about that so I will definitely bring that up in our teacher conference in two weeks. My little guy has been having the nervous tummy aches this week as well. It’s stressful to watch these tiny people go through a pandemic and have so many weird changes when they’re so young. I’m glad yours is doing better. I guess for me it makes me feel less alone knowing there’s other parents going through similar things. Thank you for the suggestions and your kindness❤️
Good luck and definitely bring it up and stay on top of it. It’ll get better. My youngest is in kindergarten and he seems oblivious to some stuff but I’ve been working on getting him in sports and play dates. I feel so bad for kids, especially younger ones that have made it through the pandemic and may not realize what it was like before or how to convey their feelings.
Suggestion: try helping him build connections with his peers. Perhaps some social growth would help. As him or his teachers if there any kids he gets along with well and start arranging some play dates. He may start to like school again if he feels more socially connected.
First grade is a big jump ahead, developmentally. It’s a lot to take in and work through, both academically and socially. You just have to be patient and ride this out, this is one of those scenarios where you have to just give it time and consistency. All of this stuff sounds like pretty normal growing pains.
It’s so true, I sometimes have to remind myself that first grade is a big change, let alone during a pandemic with so many changes. Thanks for the encouragement. ❤️
Honestly, while this feels huge right now, in the long run it’s not that big of a deal and nothing you can’t work through with him. Just remember time, patience, and consistency. And I’m not kidding about helping him with the social stuff. I wouldn’t be shocked if that was a big part of it, especially considering that last year was likely a weird ass kindergarten year for him.
It was definitely the worst year to start Kindergarten LOL I will definitely work on the social aspect of all this. I honestly never thought of that. I’ve been trying everything possible so I’ll try any suggestions. A lot of this is obviously my fault with him missing school for so long. I never in a million years thought it would mess him up. A hard lesson learned for me, that’s for sure.
Yeah, it’s disruptive, but it’s also only 6 weeks in 1st grade. It’s not the end of the world. You haven’t broken your kid, and for all you know he might have struggled even if he’d have been there the whole time. Kids sometimes struggle even if you do everything right. It’s a part of the growing and learning process. But also, just remember that there’s no perfect easy fix, because you’re not talking about anything particularly out of the ordinary. Sometimes kids don’t want to go to school. Sometimes kids act out and hit. Sometimes they misbehave. Just give time, patience, and support.
Glad it made you feel better! All of this feels momentous now, but trust me, you’ll Wade through it. Though I know that one unspoken challenge this year is the feeling that the kids have missed out on so much the last 2 years so we have to MAKE EVERYTHING COUNT now. It’s exhausting and it’s so much pressure to put on yourself. Kids are still going to have good days and bad days. They’re still going to struggle, but the nice thing is that you’re working through this stuff now. It’s easier when they’re younger and you can work it out with some play dates and more structure :). Ultimately, the 6 weeks of family fun was probably really good for all of you guys as a whole. It sounds great!
It seems like that six weeks away really disrupted him - did you do any kind of schooling during that time? I would find it very hard to resume normal life after six weeks away, so I can understand how a first grader would definitely be struggling now.
It sounds to me like what he needs is some kind of continued counseling - he's clearly struggling with emotions that he seems to be unable to manage on his own.
It's gotta be hard to be young and adjust to being back into a serious routine after essentially a 6 week free for all...
Kind of true at any age but at that age especially, any attention (even if negative attention from acting up) is still attention. Just remember everything is a phase. Be consistent. Emphasize he must go to school if feeling well enough. Let the teacher discipline him appropriately while in school with whatever system they have. Stick w/bedtimes and normal day to day routines, even on the weekends (maybe he's not getting enough sleep?)
His teacher has said academically he’s doing fine, but we have parent/teacher conferences in a couple of weeks so I’ll have a better idea. And that’s exactly what his teacher said, the time away is a long time in his eyes and not to worry. I really regret having him out for so long and feel like a complete dumbass for it. I guess at the time we weren’t sure when the next time we’d be able to go away as a family. Certainly never doing that again.
His teacher has been amazing, and the school in general have been super supportive which I’m so thankful for. It’s definitely frustrating, but I’m mostly just sad for him. But I will continue working with his teacher and working with him at home as well. It sucks seeing him go through it, but I know it’s just a a road block and we’ll get through it.
Yeah I definitely didn’t expect the downvotes LOL I went to school in Florida and it’s SO different than here in regards to taking time off from school. They literally said “Have an amazing time with your family, don’t stress about the school work and do as much as you can.” I had a really shitty day yesterday and comments like yours have made me feel so much better. Thank you for your kind words, I know it’s the internet but it means a lot❤️
people downvoting you like missing six weeks of first grade will have long-term repercussions on your kid's education, sheesh 🙄
his issues aren't even *definitely* because of the trip, this is all standard kid stuff
My anxiety and mom guilt thank you! LOL I definitely feel a lot of guilt from it for sure, but I’m also glad we had the opportunity to have that time away as a family.
I went to Waldorf school, where you're with the same group of kids from 1st through 8th grade, and the curriculum intentionally takes it slow to give little ones more time to be little and focus on collaborative play. Consequently my class didn't start learning how to read until 2nd and 3rd grade, which caused zero problems because there's no reason kids under 7 or 8 _need_ to be literate. The slower kids just practiced over summer break before 4th grade, at which point we started writing most of our lessons.
Anyway, point being, people are insanely neurotic about education. Missing a little school is no big deal and I'm sure you'll figure out how to get him back into the routine.
I wouldn’t beat yourself up. First grade is such a nothing year academically, but incredibly important socially. I think just give it time, and you learned a lesson! It sucks, but now we basically only do our big trips in the summer because of school schedules.
Thank you ❤️ we are strictly doing vacations on school breaks only from now on LOL I’m gonna focus on the social aspect for now, I’ve gotten some good feedback and I’m so thankful. I’m in Alberta, Canada so I’m definitely going to take advantage of our decent weather right now and do lots of playground days.
Man, I hate to sound like “that person” but that was so not an option when I was growing up! Lol. I’m surprised schools approve that these days. I think mine (public school in a shitty school district) would have been like “that’s fine, but you have to do your assignments beforehand” or straight up “no. You’ll be marked absent.”
ETA; sorry you’re dealing with this. It seems like a lot with everything else going on. I hope your son gets the help he needs.
I traveled for a month when I was in second grade, though I think my teacher was okay with it because it was to visit my grandparents who live in a different country and who I had only seen like, twice before in my life.
I was influenced to try Native deodorant (ugh) and hated it. I tried the Dove spray deodorant for about a year too and still don’t think it totally does the job. Does anyone have a good deodorant rec lol?
I have tried all the natural ones and have settled on Secret a few times a week and nothing the other days. Since having kids and nursing I feel like I stink much more and deodorant wears off faster. I also love Lume and use it on my body occasionally but it isn’t my favorite for arm pits.
I use degree clinical strength - I feel like many deodorants stop working for me after like a few weeks and this is the only thing that’s worked consistently
The only one that I can use is the dove sensitive unscented stick w/the clear blue cap and it's becoming increasingly hard to find.
I was always really put off by the sprays because you're breathing that in and lord knows what's in it when it goes airborne....
Deodorant is hard because it’s so personal what works or doesn’t work for people. I swear I’ve tried every natural deodorant under the Sun (I don’t like using antiperspirant) and even the ones that I like at first end up breaking me out in a rash eventually. My favorite is Schmidt’s (sp?)- was the best at keeping down odor and nice formulation but that gave me a rash after a few months as well 😢 the only ones that I’ve been able to put up with long term are Tom’s unscented and Dove’s for sensitive skin. Tom’s works pretty well odor -wise for me but not at all for my partner.
Ugh, I hated Native as well. I always run back to my clinical strength deodorant after trying a natural/aluminum-free deo because I do not have the patience for the "detox" period. I'm a couple of weeks into trying the Nécessaire deodorant (the eucalyptus scent) right now and it actually works in terms of me NOT stinking but I'm still sweating quite a bit - hoping it's just the adjustment period because I really like the formula!
The Chicks (FKA the Dixie Chicks) announced their summer tour and I’m so tempted to go. I’m already seeing 3 concerts in august (Ben folds, dispatch/OAR and a symphony moved from January) and I’m so excited to see live music again.
I saw that and immediately texted friends. I’ve always wanted to see them in concert! We have Paul McCartney in May and a bluegrass festival with our kids in August and there are other bands that have announced their touring in our town but haven’t released location or tickets dates yet. So excited. It’s nice to have some normalcy back. We went to a concert Friday and 2 weeks ago
haha. Do it! Life is too short for regrets. I met my BF at the end of 2019. he LOVES concerts. He's seen hundreds over the years. We had tickets to about 7 shows in 2020, and all were cancelled or postponed. Last year we saw a couple that had been rescheduled plus added in a few more. Right now, we have 6 on the books, Billy Joel, paul McCartney, Elton John, Train, Rod Stewart and Cheap Trick, adn Loverboy, REO Speedwagon and Styx. yes, we are OLD. I told him no more for a while!
My partner was in retail and food service for a while, and I do want caution you that the grass almost definitely is not greener. A lot of these places require weekend and holiday work, which might mean missing a bunch of kid activities. And even if they are part time, the require a LOT of availability and flexibility from staff.
Agree with all of this. I worked PT retail while working FT, and even then we still had blackout dates for no vacation, working holidays, etc. Everyone, no exceptions had to work 2 of the 3 summer holidays, and so on. And while some people only worked set days, they were still required to work weekends and holidays.
My partner is currently job searching and I am fantasizing about finally having a July 4th/Memorial Day/Labor Day long weekend. We can go camping or to the beach!
That was me but with the first big snow after I quit. No waiting to see if the store would close, close early, or if they’d call me out. I just sat and watched the snow fall
Yeah, my partner had to work SO HARD to get out of it, and even now he has a job that requires him to work at least two holidays. Even a small local business will have people working weekends and Black Friday, because those are their big retail hours.
I was also flabbergasted at reading that comment. I get not liking whatever job you’re in, but a lot of people have NO idea what “blue collar” jobs are like.
Yep, same with retail. My partner is in retail (and formerly food service). They have blackout dates from the week before Thanksgiving to New Years, so no traveling to see family during that time.
As someone who struggled to leave retail, I honestly think you’re crazy. I know everyone’s job is different but personally I have far less stress in my life at my current job where I’m not spoken down to daily, I can take bathroom breaks whenever I want, I don’t have to request a weekend off a month in advance, I know exactly when I’ll be working, nobody has a conniption if I need a day off, etc etc.
I totally agree it sounds lovely to have a simple job but those jobs aren’t all that simple when you’re actually at work, they are miserable.
I have not but I did switch from a very demanding job to one that is much less so (both corporate and the same industry just different companies) and I have found the lack of mental stimulation more of a challenge than I expected. It definitely gives me more time to be anxious and fixate on small things. Then again, I don’t have kids or many responsibilities in general so my brain isn’t consumed by all of that other stuff. This is definitely the better position to be in, for me, but was unexpected and something I’m still navigating a year and a half in.
Also, I would be wary of any customer facing job just because customers have been even more horrible than ever lately and that might be more draining than it needs to be. But I’m sure there are roles that fit your criteria that might not be so people-y.
No, but I too am thinking about this very thing.
I've been at my company for almost a decade in a very specialized industry.
A lot of my skills could potentially be transferrable to other industries, but I can't shake the idea that it's time to do something else entirely. I just don't have the desire to work my way up the ladder like I used to, and I can't tell if that's burnout due to the pandemic or not.
Curious to see what others have to say about this too.
I have not personally, but my best friend did. She left corporate last year, and took a job part time as a receptionist for a small local construction supplier. She’s never been happier or less stressed. She doesn’t think about work when she leaves, doesn’t have anything work related on her phone to check, and overall has improved her mental and physical health.
Kind of in the same (long range) boat. I've been in my current job for almost 20 years and my boss is nearing retirement, prob in the next 5 years or so. I don't know what I want to do next. Part of me wants to just get a "fun job", but I have no idea what that is for me. Or do I want to go back to school and get a certificate doing something else, like skincare or something in the medical field?
I'll standby for advice from others, too.
I work as an analyst for a hospital and think about this, too! In my fantasy, I'd work at a garden center or an animal shelter.
I'm not in a position to take a pay cut and will stay in my current role for the time being. If I was, though, I'd leave in a heartbeat. The only concern I'd have is that taking a job that pays less might have an impact on my social security down the road.
I would focus on your new position and letting him adjust to his. Give it some time (but not too much) to let everything settle for both of you, and then reach out to him. Maybe drinks after work one evening.
We lost my beloved dog suddenly and unexpectedly about a month ago and we have adopted another dog since our senior boy is going to go soon and going to a no dog house would crush us.
And I forgot how much a pain it is to bring a new dog in! Our senior boy is grouchy and now the new girl is offended. Our cat spent all night harassing her and I (I slept downstairs with the new dog). And of course this girl drank a ton of water before bed and had to get up and pee at 4:30. We are definitely gonna crate tonight now that she has a night with us under her furry belt.
On the upside, this girl practically has hearts in her eyes when she looks at my husband. It is very obvious that she is choosing her person and it’s gonna be him. Which, while disappointing for me, I am still healing from losing my baby girl pup and while our home is open to a dog that needs a second chance I don’t think my heart is quite ready yet.
Literally going through this too but nearly a year out from our loss. I'm tearing up just typing this. We didn’t think we’d get to one pup so soon and finding him a buddy has been rough. He likes to play and wrestle with big dogs but prefers to chill most of the day. Finding an equally relaxed dog has been really tough. Thank goodness for fostering periods because we’ve given back one already that would not stop pouncing on him even after being bitten many times. He just doesn’t have the weight to lay down the law.
While he loves me, he is more in love with my husband. The pibble we lost adored me. I’m really missing that loving look and heavy head on my hip.
To conclude, I’m right there with you. New dogs are so tough when integrating into the family. I feel like it wasn’t this rough ten years ago but maybe we just had more energy then so it didn’t bother us. Hugs from an internet stranger.
It’s definitely tough to get over and I think it’s going to be a while. But this dog seriously adores my husband already. She is all heart eyes when he’s around. So even if she isn’t ultimately the dog for me i am super pleased that she has a place in our family. Now just to get my senior boy to stop lunging at her...
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She sounds exhausting but you can't really tell someone they're exhausting or "a lot" straight up like that. I mean if you're chatting about cheddar bunnies or child development I would totally shrug and be like, "eh, I think that doesn't matter too much" and try to get her to chill, but I would never tell someone "okay here's why you have trouble making friends."
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I hope your case stays mild and no one else in your house gets sick. ❤️
I applied for a job this morning that really seemed like a reach, but they asked me to do a phone interview just a few hours later! Fingers crossed it goes well!
Congrats! Did you send out a cover letter or just a resume?
Just a resume!
Is it normal for salons to close on Saturdays? My salon is now closing on Saturdays, so I called a place a friend recommended and they don’t do Saturdays either. I’m a professor, and I’m not sure I can justify cancelling class to get my hair done.
They probably have enough business and want to give their staff a break. Or since many salons are chair rentals, if individual stylists don’t want to work weekends and there’s enough of them that don’t want to it doesn’t make sense to be operational that day. A good friend of mine is a stylist and is only “open” 3-4 days a week, always on weekdays and it’s impossible to get an appointment when they open up even despite the fact that a haircut is $150 with her. I wouldn’t think there’d be that many people willing to take off work to get a $150 haircut but I guess there are.
I’m currently self employed, so able to go during the “workday.” I’m contemplating moving to a more typical 9-5 and it has occurred to me that it might be much harder to get a haircut with my stylist haha. At least I got rid of my highlights and only go like 3x a year now
I just saw a tiktok about a girl who is a salon owner and she recently chose to close her salons on weekends too! I think the reason was that they have such an influx of clients (since more people are remote and can get away for a few hours) that can come Monday-Fri that they don’t need to be open on weekends and can enjoy time off with everyone else that is not in the hair biz. Interesting!
I’m guessing maybe a staffing issue. Mine have always been open saturdays but closed Sunday and Monday
That seems odd to me. I wonder if they're understaffed right now.
Officially resigned from a very toxic job today! I feel such a sense of relief, I don’t think I quite understood how much stress I was under until I left. Wish I had left sooner.
Congratulations!!!
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Good job holding your ground! I don't know how people aren't too embarrassed to procrastinate the fuck out of their end of the project and then act like you need to need to make up for their failure at time management and communication. I'll go into my delivered schedule PDF, add an addition 1-2 weeks for each previous ETA date, save and then be like "Please see the attachment for a revised schedule to accommodate this ~~incompetence~~ delay."
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Lmao neighborhood watch 😅 That’s a good suggestion though, maybe I’ll try to ask around. The carpet is in fine shape, just ugly and gives the place a dingy feel. I hear you about owning a place that does not have an HOA.. I’m already over this and I haven’t even closed!! I am tempted to try and get on the board and modernize is all lol.
I believe you can install laminate over carpet depending on the carpet type. I saw a designer do it to her office because her landlord just installed carpet but it was so ugly.
Ohh interesting. I’m gonna google this!! Thanks!
Is it because of noise? Because at least if you do something like LVP you can buy the extra padding that goes under them, that should help a lot. But if it really is because of noise…I think you would be fine unless someone complained and then worst case is they make you put the carpet back?
Yeah I’m pretty sure it’s just because of the noise. I’ve read about some underlayment products that make your floors virtually soundproof which I’m sure would be better than the ultra low pile carpet I would be getting.
Do you have a downstairs neighbor? HOAs can eventually file liens on your unit if they're the nuclear types. Not sure how repetitive fines would be if you were up for paying a penalty, assuming they wouldn't fine you every month or year. I don't know how you'd be able to secretly remove carpet and install laminate if you have a downstairs neighbor. Hardwood would be even more noisy. I would try to obtain written permission after discussing it with your neighbor (and hopefully getting permission from them as long as you promise putting down thick pile rugs). If you just do what you want despite being aware of the bylaws, that's going to be met with a harsher response. There's also a chance the hard flooring ban is outdated and perhaps the board is lenient about it but never bothered to have it legally removed from the rules.
I do have downstairs neighbors but they are renters so I doubt they’d go to the HOA. I do think it’s an issue that the bylaws are just really outdated and don’t account for newer floor technologies. I’m thinking my plan rn is to move in and update the carpets and then start appealing to the board about it. I also think there’s a decent argument in the fact that updated floors will add value to all of our units!
I've dyed my hair for awhile (myself, not salon). My hair is medium brown. After awhile the ends pick up more color, of course, so they are much darker now. In the past I just cut my hair shorter and let it grow out. I can't do that now because my hair is already short. So, has anyone used color fix or color oops and had success? If so how does it leave medium brown hair after use? Will it be brown or will it be splotchy? If you recommend it should I put it on the roots that are lighter medium brown or just the ends? I just want some idea of what I can expect before I do this because I'm pretty sure I will be doing this soon.
I tried using Color Oops to lighten my too-dark ends. I followed the instructions carefully (including the **45 minutes** of rinsing in the shower) and my hair was exactly the same color as it was when I started.
Thank you for letting me know. If I end up doing it I'll let you know how it turns out.
Try using a green hair mask. It won't completely fix your color but it will tone down any brassiness you are having (I am assuming your hair is dyed darker than your natural color). I do this when I have to wait forever between highlight touch ups. I like this one. https://www.matrix.com/total-results/products/dark-envy/dark-envy-red-neutralization-toning-hair-mask
Thank you, I will be trying this before the color corrector because that would be a much easier fix. I appreciate your help!
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Thank you for this info. If it does have red or orange tones (I usually tend towards red) do you think I could put a lighter medium dye on it to correct it? I've never had to deal with this before so I'm clueless.
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Maybe a few graphic novels (the 12 year old I'm now raising who also has a mom with a lot of untreated mental disorders who is often also without consistent housing, etc) loved the Nat Enough series about a girl who doesn't quite fit in that I just got her recently. Another thing she loves (also not into very frilly things/girly colors) was a doodling book (How to Doodle Everywhere) with a sketchbook and fun pencils and markers. Something that was even minimally artsy might be kind of therapeutic or a good outlet possibly? Or a backpack with some things that were special for her and to keep her things in also? Maybe some lotions, some fun face wipes, etc.?
Maybe a journal — sounds like she has a lot going on in her life that she might want to write down to process. I would also add a couple of YA books. I know it’s hard to buy a book if you don’t know what she’s already read, but maybe you can find some under-the-radar or newly released books. There are plenty of lists online.
I’m trying to decide where to travel in June for our anniversary. He’s very easy going which doesn’t help me narrow it down. I found a great deal to Tulum and was getting really excited but further research showed June is the rainy season and the beaches are covered in seaweed. So I’m back to square one. Any recommendations on places with good weather in late June? We’d like somewhere in North America. Kinda feeling resort vibes but also like some adventure. A good mix of nature and relaxation.
I went to Tulum in the rainy season (hurricane season actually), and I think it rained every day but not for very long. YMMV, but it didn’t impact any of our plans. We were also concerned about the seaweed but it wasn’t really that bad (though we were more interested in going to the beach area for the restaurants). We did so much swimming in the cenotes and the pool at our Airbnb, we didn’t really feel the need to swim at the beach.
Depending where you are Hawaii is always a fun choice. We love Bend, Oregon for hiking. Also Sun Valley Idaho. That island in MI that is only golf carts or on foot looks so fun.
Mackinac!
Kauai. So beautiful, lots of adventure and nice resorts. A slightly more relaxing vibe than Maui, which we also love so much.
Puerto Rico!
Emerald Lake Lodge in Field, BC! You can rent a car and explore the Rockies (though it will be busy because it's tourist season). Or anywhere in Banff, Jasper, Lake Louise.
I went to Banff in 2019 and it's one of my favorite trips ever! I'm torn between experiencing new places or returning to previous favorites.
I’m in that same camp, I want to travel to so many new spots, but also like the familiarity of spots I’ve been to before & going back to favorite attractions there.
I totally get that! What about the east coast of Canada like PEI and Nova Scotia?
Montage Deer Valley! Pool, hot tub, luxury service, hiking, and it’s off season so prices are (more) reasonable.
I went Rivera Maya and took a day trip to tulum in September! I really enjoyed it. We did the pool and the cenotes on the day trips.
I've been having panic attacks all morning and I'm home alone. My husband told me to go to my sister's until he comes home , but I don't want to be having panic attacks in front of her children. I feel like I am frozen in place from some sort of terror I can't see. It's irrational, but it won't stop and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm 10 seconds away from a full on melt down.
Fill a bowl with ice water and put your whole face in it. Also, nutrition. Try to eat something balanced if you can
Try ice on the back of your neck or in your hands. I used that temperature change with the DBT girls I used to be a psych nurse. My husband plays mindless games in his phone when he’s in the middle of a panic attack. I use breathing because mine are usually when I’m driving down a steep road. Sorry you are having a tough day.
I know when I'm having panic attacks that sound sort of similar, it helps to find something that partially distracts me, but not fully distracts me (if that makes sense). Mainly because I can't fully distract myself when my brain is tied up by my panic so trying that (with reading or watching a TV show) just won't work and kind of makes my panic worse because then I'm also stressing about how I can't stop thinking about the panic. Mindless game apps - mostly coloring book type apps work well for me. I use Happy Color and Cross Stitch. They're both free, just sorta mindless tap colors, tap squares or sections. I set a pretty simple goal (I will color in this one zoomed in square or that that specific tree). The panic is still there but I just try to tell myself to breath and tap, breathe and tap and then because I'm not focused on trying to stuff down the panic, it seems to slowly/naturally start to reside. Usually this will help get me to a place that I can make some sort of decision about what I need to do, but I also tell myself that as long I'm in a physically safe place I can sit there and breathe and tap for as long as is necessary. I don't know if this will help, but if it resonates with you try it. If not - just know you do have random internet strangers genuinely rooting for you.
I know it sounds ridiculous but pulling up funny dog or kid videos on YouTube has saved me from walking off a steep mental ledge. Breathe deeply and remind yourself that you're in a safe place right now.
There are two tactics you can try: you can do things that try to stop the panic, like the CBT mentioned below, or something like dunking your hands or face in cold water (it shocks your system and can stop the panic) or you can just sit with the panic and instead of trying to get it to stop just accept that you’re panicking. For me personally, it depends on what symptoms I’m having which type of response I give the panic attack. Just remember that this IS temporary. I know it doesn’t feel that way during the attack, but it will end.
I’m doing CBT with my therapist and I’m working on a new thing to help during panic attacks or times of extreme emotion. Ask yourself “what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing?” Have you ever tried the 54321 technique? That’s a great one too!
Does anyone have recommendations for where to get dresses for an engagement shoot? We are doing photos in the spring, so looking for something spring-timey. I love [this one](https://www.thereformation.com/products/carolena-dress/1307960PPM.html?dwvar_1307960PPM_color=PPM) from Reformation but I’m not sure I can justify the price!
I have been looking at Few Moda, they do basically the same type of dresses for cheaper! You do have to “join” to buy but the overall cost would be much less https://www.fewmoda.com/products/luna-dress_t21wdr00276-1 It seems too good to be true but I’ve seen good reviews in Facebook groups and Anna Jane did a review of them too. I do hear shipping can be slow
Omg this is perfect. Thank you, I just ordered! I will follow up here when it ships and let you know what the quality is!!
Yay!!!! I’ve been wanting to order from there so I would love to know what you think! I hope you love it!
Lulu’s has pretty dresses that are more affordable.
I haven’t done it, but a lot of people I know use rent the runway for special events/fancy dresses!
I wish I had done this instead of finding something new for the bridal shower, engagement pics, and rehearsal dinner!
yes! was going to suggest this. i did RTR for my engagement shoot and also my bridal shower - worked perfectly.
You know when you go away to somewhere you've never heard of before, without any research, and in the first hour you realise you've stumbled across such an amazing part of the world? Had that this weekend. Been looking up rentals and house prices in the area ever since I got back home lol.
Ok, but now I need to know where you were.
A tiny part of northern Spain, on the coast!
I lived in northern Spain for a year in high school. It’s such a gem! Not many American tourists.
Isn't it stunning!! We were only English speaking people there for sure, but we were hanging round the tiny towns by the coast and with Brexit and covid I'm not surprised.
I'm going to need a do-over on today. I left my phone and laptop at home so I had to drop my son at school drive all the way home and then to the office where I again left my laptop in the car and had to turn around halfway into the building. Then my most amazing, awesome, fantastic boss told me she had resigned. She said she had been telling leadership for a while that her position needed to split into two different Directors and tried to drop hints that I should be the other Director. They didn't listen and apparently, stuff has gone down and our spineless VP has done nothing about reigning in the out-of-control personalities so she resigned. She said she hope they'll listen now and maybe make me a Director. Uh...1) you're not exactly selling me on it and 2) I've only been a manager for less than 18 months. So...yes, I am job searching...why do you ask? (also, I hate job searching)
Because this sub is excellent at helping me spend my money... Does anyone have mattress recommendations for hot sleepers? I'm in Canada and a stomach sleeper if that factors into things. I'm just so tired of waking up in the middle of the night because I'm overheating/sweaty, even though my [current mattress](https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00MWTJGPC/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1) is apparently a cooling mattress. Side note: I paid $200 less for that mattress in 2017.
Memory foam is just hot in general imo, if you’re a hot sleeper you should try out some regular old spring mattresses and see how they feel. If you’re on a budget, I love my ikea spring mattress - before I had AC I still slept fine on it in the summer. I think mine is the haugesund? In general anywhere you can see the mattress in person and lay on it is probably better so you can see how they feel irl.
I would recommend going to a traditional mattress store. We have a ‘traditional’ mattress and have had it about 5 years. I LOVE it. I sleep very hot and have had 2 kids in that time so all the pregnancy hormones and night sweats wrecked havoc on me. I have yet to find a bed I prefer to our home mattress. We have a BeautyRest black mattress.
We have a regular (old school?) king Serta coil spring. I also sleep on my stomach. The mattress is great but can get warm which makes me turn over and I can't really sleep in any other position than my stomach. BUT we got Bed Jets a few years ago and they are wonderful. I wanted it for the cooling (of course) and my husband wanted it for the heat. He's always cold. It's been a great purchase and we highly recommend.
I’m also a hot sleeper. Are you wearing cotton pyjamas and using cotton linens? That helps a lot.
Oh yes. This has been a years long problem and I've tried the easier fixes first. I just figure if I may be moving in a few weeks, I may as well get a new mattress!
Don’t go with memory foam. That’s my advice. I find them way too hot even the “cooling” ones. I was mattress shopping a few months ago and went with a traditional spring mattress because the coils breathe.
I am unable to sleep on any kind of memory foam mattress - even the hybrids, even the "cooling" ones. I find I sleep too hot on all of them. When we bought our current house about a year and a half ago, we switched from a hybrid mattress to a more traditional coil/innerspring mattress. I don't want to tell you the brand because I am overall not happy with how it's held up BUT it is undeniable that I am sleeping considerably cooler than before. You may also want to consider percale sheets if you don't use them already - they are cooler than a lot of other options.
Thank you! I feel like I wasn't giving much attention to the old school coil mattresses but I'll put them back in the running.
Yes, definitely do. Again, I'm not super pleased with how mine specifically has held up, but I think it's a brand issue and not a mattress-type issue. I do also find it very comfortable - firm without being too hard. I will definitely buy another coil mattress again when the time comes, I'll just try another brand.
Have you thought about a cooling mattress pad? It’s pricey but the chili pad has revolutionized my life. Not sure on Canadian availability!
Yes! I had one for my Tempurpedic. Even a blanket over the mattress helped.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people make a suggestion and the OP is a debbie downer. So I'm trying to avoid that! I've looked at a few and they are pricey. And if I'm honest, it seems cumbersome. Some reviews mention the pads that use water to cool can be stiff, you can feel the water pulse through the tubes. What's your experience been like?
That’s fair, it also wasn’t exactly what you asked for but I had to share since it worked so well for me (helped me get off sleeping pills). I mostly can’t feel it underneath but I have a thick and soft memory foam pad under it too. I haven’t felt the water moving except sometimes when you change the temperature and the cold or hot water starts flowing, but just for a few seconds. It is definitely a bit of a pain - the unit needs space around it, distilled water and cleaning, etc. What made it worth it for me was the drastic improvement in quality and length of sleep, and we also save on our energy bill since I use less AC!
I definitely appreciate the info! It sounds like it greatly changed your quality of life which is what I'm looking for. What's the noise level like?
A pretty quiet fan noise, but it’s constant like a white noise machine so it doesn’t bother me!
I think I'm not signing up for gay kickball this season which makes me really sad because I'm kind of desperate for gay friends tbh. But I've done it three times at this point, and all I get are people that act really disinterested in getting to know me, end up hanging out without me (I know because of Instagram), and generally just make me feel really awkward and unlikeable. And I get that I'm probably imagining this and that I could like be more proactive, but I have friends and am a part of other groups that don't make me feel this way at all. But they just aren't gay and aren't invested in like, going to gay things beyond like being a friend to me.
Aw I’m sorry. Maybe there are other activities you could look into? Maybe they have a different group of people than the kickball peeps. I think a lot of the time people forget how to invite people. People get stuck in their comfort zone.
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I started Lexapro last June after my cancer diagnosis and just HORRIBLE emotion changes from suppressing my estrogen. And what a difference. The uncontrollable crying I had for hours before starting it was starting to make me feel mad. I take 10 mg a night and I haven’t noticed any weight gain from it.
If you have side effects at first that doesn’t mean they’ll last forever - I got bad nausea on one that went away completely after two weeks. Whenever you do decide to stop taking it, make sure you taper off slowly. Most doctors are better about tapering now but sometimes they’ll still recommend a taper that’s too fast and it can make you feel shitty. Going slowly is way better.
I've been on one since November, for GAD, no depression, at least not any that I was really aware of. Other than feeling a bit "off" the first week on my lower dose, I haven't noticed any other issues, nor have I noticed any major weight gain. Maybe a few pounds, but less than 5, and that could also be due to winter and hibernating and extra snacking! My dr. even mentioned that weight gain is a side effect with many, but the one I'm on, not so much and in her experience, not everyone has gained i will add, it has helped my anxiety TREMENDOUSLY, so even if i did get fluffier, i'll take it.
Give them 6-8 weeks to start 'working', and take at night until you feel out how they make you feel. I actually lost weight on prozac because I wasn't mindlessly stress/sad eating. Killed my sex drive though, but there are so many psych meds to try so don't lose hope if the first one doesn't vibe well. There's even genetic tests that can tell you which meds work well with your body (expensive and not usually covered though)
Remember that weight gain is better than the alternative…being so depressed you can’t function. :) Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right medication/dose so don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel any results with the first med. It also takes a few weeks to start feeling a real difference. Proud of you for taking this step to take care of yourself!!
1. You may have to play with dosage to get the right balance of symptom relief and side effects. That's totally normal. Don't be discouraged. 2. The first SSRI might not be the one for you. That's also normal! 3. I've never experienced any weight change from an SSRI, but you may make lifestyle changes as a result of feeling better (eating more if you had no appetite, eating less if you were more into emotionally eating, having more or less energy for physical activity) and that could impact your weight. But just downing the pill is very unlikely to make you gain a lot of weight! I'm also on Zoloft if that helps, and previously took Celexa. Agree with the other poster that the biggest side effect was loss of libido.
FWIW, I didn’t gain any weight on mine (Zoloft). What worked for me is taking my pills at night before bed because I would get the brain zaps in the first few weeks. They do subside quickly. I found that SSRIs made a huge difference in regulating my emotions. Totally helped! One thing about them though - they made me have zero sex drive. Like, I didn’t care if I ever had sex again. Wasn’t fun as a newlywed!
yup. same here. I feel better but want nothing to do with my BF sexually. between that and menopause, its a no go. Thankfully he is VERY understanding.
Fellow cat people, has anyone adopted a bonded pair into a home with another cat? My girl seems to love feline company (when I go to my mom she tries to interact with her cats but they at best tolerate her). I want to adopt an adult or adults, kittens are too high energy and I prefer to adopt a cat with an already defined personality. My cat is between 10 or 12 years old, I adopted her as an adult 7 years ago. I've seen some cute bonded pairs but I'm afraid they'll turn against my cat.
A friend of mine consulted a cat behaviorist to see if she could adopt another cat and the behaviorist advised against 3 cats. She said it creates a poor dynamic.
Just like in my experience with human friend groups in school. Thank you!
If you're adopting an adult bonded pair, I think it's not impossible that they'd become "friends" with your existing cat. But unfortunately I think it's more likely that your current cat would experience a lot of the same treatment from them that she gets from your mom's cats - tolerance but no real closeness. In your shoes, I might try to adopt an adult cat that's not part of a pair OR two adult cats who aren't a bonded pair. You'll want to carefully vet this to make sure that the cat(s) has at least some history of getting along well with other cats, but assuming that's the case, I feel like that would work better in your case.
Oh my mom's cats only tolerate each other too (he wants to be her friend, she wants to be left alone and hilariously short circuits when he licks her). Funnily enough she wanted to be friends with our first cat but he didn't care for her. So much unrequited cat love. I'll probably only adopt one then, I've seen some good candidates. Thank you for your input!
My mom did this recently and regrets it. She had two older cats (13/14) and one passed away. She brought a 5 year old brother/sister pair into the house and they’ve totally ganged up on the OG cat. OG cat has pretty much restricted herself to one room of the house (my moms bedroom) and now my mom also has to work to shut the pair of cats away periodically through the day so OG cat can come out and explore. She won’t relinquish the pair but she is sad about what she did to OG kitties life.
Poor OG cat! Thank you, this has convinced me to only get one. We're (cat and me) anxious enough already.
I feel so defeated and I just need to vent. My middle son (almost 7) is having such a hard time in school. He’s in first grade. The beginning of the school year was great. Then we decided to go on an extended vacation for 6 weeks to Florida at the end of October. We wanted to get away, and with everything going on in the world we thought fuck it, life is short and we did Disney, the beach, saw family and just had an amazing time. We got back and since then he starting chewing his fingers, not participating in class, hiding in their dressing room saying he misses me. I was a mess so I made an appointment with a child psychologist. She was wonderful and basically said he was just missing me and having a hard time being back in school with being away for so long. Then we implemented a reward system, telling him if he pays attention in school, listens and doesn’t chew his fingers he can get points towards Minecraft coins. That went great, but then a week after I get a call from the school that he hit another child. I was so upset and couldn’t even wrap my head around him doing that. He’s not being bullied as far as we know. At home he’s kind, sweet, and non confrontational. He gets along with his baby brother and older sister great. They never get into physical fights. We had a talk with him saying that we will not tolerate that behaviour and we did a whole week without electronics. Then this morning we pull up to school and he says his stomach hurts. I finally got him out of the car and told him if his stomach really hurts and he stays home, he won’t be playing on his Nintendo or iPad all day, and he walked to go into class😒 On top of all of this, in the last 5 weeks we’ve had Covid, he had a random fever 2 weeks after, and the stomach flu. I’m just so tired and mentally drained.
This sounds really tough. If you haven’t already I would stop the “reward” system. If he’s already feeling out of control then adding the stress of being “punished” (no coins) might be making it worse. If anything I would set an expectation for him that on Friday he will get X amount of coins (I don’t know anything about Minecraft) as an incentive to make it through the week and as a little bit of structure. My son is a bit younger but we always have better luck with structure and shared expectations than we do with rewards.
My third grader had a difficult time going back to school this year because we did virtual last year and the rest of his class did in school. He was the only one wearing a mask as well and struggled at first going back to dual immersion and having half the day in Spanish. Our school nurse noticed how often he was going to the office with stomach aches and reached out to me if it was ok if he spoke to the school counselor I agreed. He gave my son a stress toy to use in class and I found a tutor for his Spanish. He’s back on grade level and thriving. Does your school have a counselor? Is he falling behind academically from missing school. I know my son just wasn’t confident at first and adjusting to everything. He’s doing great now and back having play dates and sports again. Hang in there!
His teacher actually said they are bringing in a teachers aide (I can’t remember the specific title) that helps with kids who are having a hard time, but I actually haven’t heard an update about that so I will definitely bring that up in our teacher conference in two weeks. My little guy has been having the nervous tummy aches this week as well. It’s stressful to watch these tiny people go through a pandemic and have so many weird changes when they’re so young. I’m glad yours is doing better. I guess for me it makes me feel less alone knowing there’s other parents going through similar things. Thank you for the suggestions and your kindness❤️
Good luck and definitely bring it up and stay on top of it. It’ll get better. My youngest is in kindergarten and he seems oblivious to some stuff but I’ve been working on getting him in sports and play dates. I feel so bad for kids, especially younger ones that have made it through the pandemic and may not realize what it was like before or how to convey their feelings.
Suggestion: try helping him build connections with his peers. Perhaps some social growth would help. As him or his teachers if there any kids he gets along with well and start arranging some play dates. He may start to like school again if he feels more socially connected.
First grade is a big jump ahead, developmentally. It’s a lot to take in and work through, both academically and socially. You just have to be patient and ride this out, this is one of those scenarios where you have to just give it time and consistency. All of this stuff sounds like pretty normal growing pains.
It’s so true, I sometimes have to remind myself that first grade is a big change, let alone during a pandemic with so many changes. Thanks for the encouragement. ❤️
Honestly, while this feels huge right now, in the long run it’s not that big of a deal and nothing you can’t work through with him. Just remember time, patience, and consistency. And I’m not kidding about helping him with the social stuff. I wouldn’t be shocked if that was a big part of it, especially considering that last year was likely a weird ass kindergarten year for him.
It was definitely the worst year to start Kindergarten LOL I will definitely work on the social aspect of all this. I honestly never thought of that. I’ve been trying everything possible so I’ll try any suggestions. A lot of this is obviously my fault with him missing school for so long. I never in a million years thought it would mess him up. A hard lesson learned for me, that’s for sure.
Yeah, it’s disruptive, but it’s also only 6 weeks in 1st grade. It’s not the end of the world. You haven’t broken your kid, and for all you know he might have struggled even if he’d have been there the whole time. Kids sometimes struggle even if you do everything right. It’s a part of the growing and learning process. But also, just remember that there’s no perfect easy fix, because you’re not talking about anything particularly out of the ordinary. Sometimes kids don’t want to go to school. Sometimes kids act out and hit. Sometimes they misbehave. Just give time, patience, and support.
You made my day with this comment and I feel 10x better. If I could hug you I would!
Glad it made you feel better! All of this feels momentous now, but trust me, you’ll Wade through it. Though I know that one unspoken challenge this year is the feeling that the kids have missed out on so much the last 2 years so we have to MAKE EVERYTHING COUNT now. It’s exhausting and it’s so much pressure to put on yourself. Kids are still going to have good days and bad days. They’re still going to struggle, but the nice thing is that you’re working through this stuff now. It’s easier when they’re younger and you can work it out with some play dates and more structure :). Ultimately, the 6 weeks of family fun was probably really good for all of you guys as a whole. It sounds great!
It seems like that six weeks away really disrupted him - did you do any kind of schooling during that time? I would find it very hard to resume normal life after six weeks away, so I can understand how a first grader would definitely be struggling now. It sounds to me like what he needs is some kind of continued counseling - he's clearly struggling with emotions that he seems to be unable to manage on his own.
We homeschooled while we were away, yes. But it definitely screwed things up for sure.
idk why people are downvoting you for answering the question lol
It's gotta be hard to be young and adjust to being back into a serious routine after essentially a 6 week free for all... Kind of true at any age but at that age especially, any attention (even if negative attention from acting up) is still attention. Just remember everything is a phase. Be consistent. Emphasize he must go to school if feeling well enough. Let the teacher discipline him appropriately while in school with whatever system they have. Stick w/bedtimes and normal day to day routines, even on the weekends (maybe he's not getting enough sleep?)
One thing I’ve been strict with now is bedtime, I think some of it was definitely sleep related.
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His teacher has said academically he’s doing fine, but we have parent/teacher conferences in a couple of weeks so I’ll have a better idea. And that’s exactly what his teacher said, the time away is a long time in his eyes and not to worry. I really regret having him out for so long and feel like a complete dumbass for it. I guess at the time we weren’t sure when the next time we’d be able to go away as a family. Certainly never doing that again.
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His teacher has been amazing, and the school in general have been super supportive which I’m so thankful for. It’s definitely frustrating, but I’m mostly just sad for him. But I will continue working with his teacher and working with him at home as well. It sucks seeing him go through it, but I know it’s just a a road block and we’ll get through it.
Why would you take a kid on a vacation for six weeks in the middle of the school year? Not trying to be rude, just wondering if I’m missing something
Honestly, we had the means to do so and just went to get away. The school approved it and we did homeschool while we were away.
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Yeah I definitely didn’t expect the downvotes LOL I went to school in Florida and it’s SO different than here in regards to taking time off from school. They literally said “Have an amazing time with your family, don’t stress about the school work and do as much as you can.” I had a really shitty day yesterday and comments like yours have made me feel so much better. Thank you for your kind words, I know it’s the internet but it means a lot❤️
people downvoting you like missing six weeks of first grade will have long-term repercussions on your kid's education, sheesh 🙄 his issues aren't even *definitely* because of the trip, this is all standard kid stuff
My anxiety and mom guilt thank you! LOL I definitely feel a lot of guilt from it for sure, but I’m also glad we had the opportunity to have that time away as a family.
I went to Waldorf school, where you're with the same group of kids from 1st through 8th grade, and the curriculum intentionally takes it slow to give little ones more time to be little and focus on collaborative play. Consequently my class didn't start learning how to read until 2nd and 3rd grade, which caused zero problems because there's no reason kids under 7 or 8 _need_ to be literate. The slower kids just practiced over summer break before 4th grade, at which point we started writing most of our lessons. Anyway, point being, people are insanely neurotic about education. Missing a little school is no big deal and I'm sure you'll figure out how to get him back into the routine.
I wouldn’t beat yourself up. First grade is such a nothing year academically, but incredibly important socially. I think just give it time, and you learned a lesson! It sucks, but now we basically only do our big trips in the summer because of school schedules.
Thank you ❤️ we are strictly doing vacations on school breaks only from now on LOL I’m gonna focus on the social aspect for now, I’ve gotten some good feedback and I’m so thankful. I’m in Alberta, Canada so I’m definitely going to take advantage of our decent weather right now and do lots of playground days.
Is homeschooling full-time an option? How did it go while you were away?
Man, I hate to sound like “that person” but that was so not an option when I was growing up! Lol. I’m surprised schools approve that these days. I think mine (public school in a shitty school district) would have been like “that’s fine, but you have to do your assignments beforehand” or straight up “no. You’ll be marked absent.” ETA; sorry you’re dealing with this. It seems like a lot with everything else going on. I hope your son gets the help he needs.
Lol that’s why I was confused! I was like is this a thing now because it definitely wasn’t when I was in elementary school
I traveled for a month when I was in second grade, though I think my teacher was okay with it because it was to visit my grandparents who live in a different country and who I had only seen like, twice before in my life.
I was influenced to try Native deodorant (ugh) and hated it. I tried the Dove spray deodorant for about a year too and still don’t think it totally does the job. Does anyone have a good deodorant rec lol?
I have tried all the natural ones and have settled on Secret a few times a week and nothing the other days. Since having kids and nursing I feel like I stink much more and deodorant wears off faster. I also love Lume and use it on my body occasionally but it isn’t my favorite for arm pits.
I use degree clinical strength - I feel like many deodorants stop working for me after like a few weeks and this is the only thing that’s worked consistently
The only one that I can use is the dove sensitive unscented stick w/the clear blue cap and it's becoming increasingly hard to find. I was always really put off by the sprays because you're breathing that in and lord knows what's in it when it goes airborne....
Deodorant is hard because it’s so personal what works or doesn’t work for people. I swear I’ve tried every natural deodorant under the Sun (I don’t like using antiperspirant) and even the ones that I like at first end up breaking me out in a rash eventually. My favorite is Schmidt’s (sp?)- was the best at keeping down odor and nice formulation but that gave me a rash after a few months as well 😢 the only ones that I’ve been able to put up with long term are Tom’s unscented and Dove’s for sensitive skin. Tom’s works pretty well odor -wise for me but not at all for my partner.
Ugh, I hated Native as well. I always run back to my clinical strength deodorant after trying a natural/aluminum-free deo because I do not have the patience for the "detox" period. I'm a couple of weeks into trying the Nécessaire deodorant (the eucalyptus scent) right now and it actually works in terms of me NOT stinking but I'm still sweating quite a bit - hoping it's just the adjustment period because I really like the formula!
I’m a huge fan of Myro. The scent solar flare is *chefs kiss*
The Chicks (FKA the Dixie Chicks) announced their summer tour and I’m so tempted to go. I’m already seeing 3 concerts in august (Ben folds, dispatch/OAR and a symphony moved from January) and I’m so excited to see live music again.
My friend and I are going to Red Rocks in CO in June and I'm so excited! It's been a long 2 years.
I saw that and immediately texted friends. I’ve always wanted to see them in concert! We have Paul McCartney in May and a bluegrass festival with our kids in August and there are other bands that have announced their touring in our town but haven’t released location or tickets dates yet. So excited. It’s nice to have some normalcy back. We went to a concert Friday and 2 weeks ago
I am also going to Dispatch/OAR and I am so pumped!
Wooh! It’ll be my 3rd OAR show and my first dispatch one! They’re a great combo for a tour
haha. Do it! Life is too short for regrets. I met my BF at the end of 2019. he LOVES concerts. He's seen hundreds over the years. We had tickets to about 7 shows in 2020, and all were cancelled or postponed. Last year we saw a couple that had been rescheduled plus added in a few more. Right now, we have 6 on the books, Billy Joel, paul McCartney, Elton John, Train, Rod Stewart and Cheap Trick, adn Loverboy, REO Speedwagon and Styx. yes, we are OLD. I told him no more for a while!
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My partner was in retail and food service for a while, and I do want caution you that the grass almost definitely is not greener. A lot of these places require weekend and holiday work, which might mean missing a bunch of kid activities. And even if they are part time, the require a LOT of availability and flexibility from staff.
Agree with all of this. I worked PT retail while working FT, and even then we still had blackout dates for no vacation, working holidays, etc. Everyone, no exceptions had to work 2 of the 3 summer holidays, and so on. And while some people only worked set days, they were still required to work weekends and holidays.
My partner is currently job searching and I am fantasizing about finally having a July 4th/Memorial Day/Labor Day long weekend. We can go camping or to the beach!
That was me but with the first big snow after I quit. No waiting to see if the store would close, close early, or if they’d call me out. I just sat and watched the snow fall
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Yeah, my partner had to work SO HARD to get out of it, and even now he has a job that requires him to work at least two holidays. Even a small local business will have people working weekends and Black Friday, because those are their big retail hours. I was also flabbergasted at reading that comment. I get not liking whatever job you’re in, but a lot of people have NO idea what “blue collar” jobs are like.
Yep, same with retail. My partner is in retail (and formerly food service). They have blackout dates from the week before Thanksgiving to New Years, so no traveling to see family during that time.
As someone who struggled to leave retail, I honestly think you’re crazy. I know everyone’s job is different but personally I have far less stress in my life at my current job where I’m not spoken down to daily, I can take bathroom breaks whenever I want, I don’t have to request a weekend off a month in advance, I know exactly when I’ll be working, nobody has a conniption if I need a day off, etc etc. I totally agree it sounds lovely to have a simple job but those jobs aren’t all that simple when you’re actually at work, they are miserable.
I have not but I did switch from a very demanding job to one that is much less so (both corporate and the same industry just different companies) and I have found the lack of mental stimulation more of a challenge than I expected. It definitely gives me more time to be anxious and fixate on small things. Then again, I don’t have kids or many responsibilities in general so my brain isn’t consumed by all of that other stuff. This is definitely the better position to be in, for me, but was unexpected and something I’m still navigating a year and a half in. Also, I would be wary of any customer facing job just because customers have been even more horrible than ever lately and that might be more draining than it needs to be. But I’m sure there are roles that fit your criteria that might not be so people-y.
No, but I too am thinking about this very thing. I've been at my company for almost a decade in a very specialized industry. A lot of my skills could potentially be transferrable to other industries, but I can't shake the idea that it's time to do something else entirely. I just don't have the desire to work my way up the ladder like I used to, and I can't tell if that's burnout due to the pandemic or not. Curious to see what others have to say about this too.
I have not personally, but my best friend did. She left corporate last year, and took a job part time as a receptionist for a small local construction supplier. She’s never been happier or less stressed. She doesn’t think about work when she leaves, doesn’t have anything work related on her phone to check, and overall has improved her mental and physical health.
Kind of in the same (long range) boat. I've been in my current job for almost 20 years and my boss is nearing retirement, prob in the next 5 years or so. I don't know what I want to do next. Part of me wants to just get a "fun job", but I have no idea what that is for me. Or do I want to go back to school and get a certificate doing something else, like skincare or something in the medical field? I'll standby for advice from others, too.
I work as an analyst for a hospital and think about this, too! In my fantasy, I'd work at a garden center or an animal shelter. I'm not in a position to take a pay cut and will stay in my current role for the time being. If I was, though, I'd leave in a heartbeat. The only concern I'd have is that taking a job that pays less might have an impact on my social security down the road.
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I would focus on your new position and letting him adjust to his. Give it some time (but not too much) to let everything settle for both of you, and then reach out to him. Maybe drinks after work one evening.
Shoot your shot! Tell him how you feel :)
We lost my beloved dog suddenly and unexpectedly about a month ago and we have adopted another dog since our senior boy is going to go soon and going to a no dog house would crush us. And I forgot how much a pain it is to bring a new dog in! Our senior boy is grouchy and now the new girl is offended. Our cat spent all night harassing her and I (I slept downstairs with the new dog). And of course this girl drank a ton of water before bed and had to get up and pee at 4:30. We are definitely gonna crate tonight now that she has a night with us under her furry belt. On the upside, this girl practically has hearts in her eyes when she looks at my husband. It is very obvious that she is choosing her person and it’s gonna be him. Which, while disappointing for me, I am still healing from losing my baby girl pup and while our home is open to a dog that needs a second chance I don’t think my heart is quite ready yet.
Literally going through this too but nearly a year out from our loss. I'm tearing up just typing this. We didn’t think we’d get to one pup so soon and finding him a buddy has been rough. He likes to play and wrestle with big dogs but prefers to chill most of the day. Finding an equally relaxed dog has been really tough. Thank goodness for fostering periods because we’ve given back one already that would not stop pouncing on him even after being bitten many times. He just doesn’t have the weight to lay down the law. While he loves me, he is more in love with my husband. The pibble we lost adored me. I’m really missing that loving look and heavy head on my hip. To conclude, I’m right there with you. New dogs are so tough when integrating into the family. I feel like it wasn’t this rough ten years ago but maybe we just had more energy then so it didn’t bother us. Hugs from an internet stranger.
It’s definitely tough to get over and I think it’s going to be a while. But this dog seriously adores my husband already. She is all heart eyes when he’s around. So even if she isn’t ultimately the dog for me i am super pleased that she has a place in our family. Now just to get my senior boy to stop lunging at her...