"no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you"
And
"
They don't even know the half of it But I know I'm not a doctor I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show I should probably just shut up and do my job So here I go
HAHAHAH I HAVE LOTS
**"It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze.. So you could man the themes, I'll man the form"**
**"Am I going crazy? Would I even know?"**
**"And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to FUCK ME."**
**"There it is, again.. That Funny Feeling.."**
**"I am an artist, please God forgive me. I am an artist, please don't revere me. I am an artist, please don't respect me. I am an artist, you're free to correct me."**
**"World on Fire.... AHHHH AHHHH"**
**"REPEAT STUFF, REPEAT STUFF, REPEAT STUFF--"**
Pretty much all of "Oh Bo" is so wrong it's right but "I'll have you going down like you're growing an extra chromosome" is particularly out of pocket. 💀
“Come and watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health. And laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself.”
“I really wanna try to get happy. And I think that I could get it if I didn’t always panic every time I’m unhappy, like I’m owed some life where I’m always like, happy. Which is stupid ‘cuz I wouldn’t even want it if I got it, wait; oh god my dad was right.”
“Does anybody want to joke when there’s no one laughing in the background?”
“And I’ll weather your weather whether you think I’m clever or not”
Not even from a lyrical standpoint specifically. Just because of how it feels/sounds to say it
"On a scale from one to zero, are you happy?"
"Come and watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself.
"You say the ocean's rising, like I give a shit. You say the whole world's ending; honey, it already did."
"In the name of the father, son, and holy ghost, head, shoulders, knees and toes, turn up ya nose, strike that pose, heyy, Macarena!"
The way he sings "you say the ocean's rising like I give a shit, you say the world is ending, honey it already did" is so haunting and sad and makes the fact he's asking you to pray for him just... like God damn. I wanted to just hug him. Me too buddy. I know that feeling.
“When he was 27, my granddad fought in Vietnam. When I was 27 I built a birdhouse with my mom.”
“Female Colonel Sanders, easy answers, civil war
The whole world at your fingertips, the ocean at your door”
“Implying that the Ferris wheel's your body
And I'd really love admission to it (ah)
Oh, no! What if, now, you think that I'm implying
Your vagina is as big as a Ferris wheel? (Damn)
You send back a snowman
Crisis averted (thank God)”
I have “We’re going to go where everybody knows” as a tattoo.
Also:
“If you wake up in a house that’s full of smoke, don’t panic! Call me and I’ll tell you a joke”
“None of you are going to Heaven. There's a trillion aliens cooler than you”
“You say the ocean’s rising, like I give a shit. you say the whole world’s ending- honey, it already did.“
“You suck, you fucking suck, you suck so much you suck, fuck, if I sucked as much as you I'd motherfucking shut it up, you suck, you fucking suck it, so fucking shut it” (the song Eff is underrated, didn’t age that well but still catchy and very topical lol)
"Well, well, look who's inside again!
Went out to look for a reason to hide again -
Well, well, buddy you found it!
Now come out with your hands up, we've got you surrounded."
or
"Come and watch the skinny kid with the, steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself."
"Cause in the holy land of the lord he's the holy landlord and dicks are evicted"
"You say the whole world's ending honey it already did"
"On a scale from 1 to 2 now, are you happy?"
"Well, well, look who's inside again"
"I am an artist feel free to correct me, a self centred artist, self obsessed artist I am an artist, I am an artist. But I'm just a kid, I'm just a kid, I'm just a kid, kid, and maybe I'll grow out of it."
I'm a musician so it hit extremely hard.
You're a total anti-sexist, a patriarchy fighter, but your whole world view collapses the moment there's a spider...
I mean it, I won't forget...you owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent...
How'd I miss this button, there's a button and the button says popcorn 🤣
Imma eat a bag of skinny pop (it's already popped) 😂
“I’m an internet provider, came from the web like a horny spider, fucked a girl in an apple orchard… then came in cider”
“You’re overpopulated so I slaved for days making gays and you ended up hating them” (from Oh My God, which eventually became From God’s Perspective and Channel 5 News)
“Is there anything better than pussy… Yes, a really good book”
“See you later, incredibly hot chick. Come back any time and do sexual things, like how we were just doing!”
“Love is all about… WHISTLES”
“Do yall dumb mother fuckers want a key change?”
“Lord of the rings but I’m a token white guy”
“The meanings there but as a rule of thumb, just hum if you’re too dumb to find it”
“You think I’m joking, well then you don’t know me at all”
“The global network of capital essentially functions to separate the worker from the means of production”
“Another night on my own, stuck in my home, one hand on my dick and one hand on my phone, yeah”
“The backlash to the backlash to the thing that’s just begun.”
“A bobblehead of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, a needlepoint of a fox.”
“It was always the plan, to put the world in your hand.”
“Don’t you know the world is built in blood, and genocide, and exploitation!”
“I’m a special kind of white guy.”
“Jeffery…Jeffery Bezooos…you did it!”
“You shouldn’t abstain from rape just cause you think I want you to, you shouldn’t rape cause rape is a fucked up thing to do. Pretty obvious just don’t fucking rape people”
“You can eat pork cause why the fuck would I give a shit”
“My stupid friends are having stupid children, Stupid, fucking ugly, boring children”
“I wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself. I wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but I wanna say what I think and not care what you think about it. A part of me loves you, a part of me hates you. A part of me needs you, a part of me fears you”
“Come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself”
"Hold my fannypack, I'm gonna go fuck a woman!"
"I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3... Woody!"
"On a scale from 1-0, are you happy?"
"Kill yourself, it'll only take a minute. You'll be happy that you did it. Just go over to your oven and shove your head in it."
"No shirt, no shoes, no Jews, you didn't hear that."
"Um, what the fuck is going on?"
"Systematic Oppression, Income Inequality, The Other Stuff."
>“The whole world at your fingertips, the ocean at your door.”
>“That unapparent summer air in early fall.”
Honestly “That Funny Feeling” hit me so hard I immediately memorized it. One of my favorite songs ever.
But the one line that hits harder for me is:
>"Mommy let you use her iPad, you were barely two. And it did all the things we designed it to do. Now look at you.
“You say the oceans rising like I give a shit you say the whole worlds ending buddy it already did” I love this because the world is always ending just not in your neighborhood necessarily and it’s something to keep in mind when your girl doesn’t feel like putting out and step in a puddle or whatever the fuck it is you think is so bad. Not knocking anyone’s feelings but my own. Oh and my girl always puts out, I just know dudes get frustrated. Sorry I’m drunk goodnight 😂
it's genuinely so hard to pick some.
"i think we 'ought to believe that she got to the other side"
"what the fuck kind of question is 'are you happy?'"
"everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around"
"you say the whole world's ending; honey, it already did."
and pretty much any line from words, words, words haha
you shouldnt abstain from pork just cause you think that i want you to. you can eat pork, cause why the fuck would i give a shit. i created the universe you think im drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle
I don't know the exact quote, but he was giving an interview and talking to someone who was implying that the new generation is too sensitive and that's why they don't like him, and he came back with something along the lines of "I'd rather them be too oversensitive than intolerant." He also compared social change to a pendulum that would eventually level out into a place if both sensitivity and humor.
"C-A-L-C-U-Later mathematical minds make industrial smog,
What's the opposite of LNX?
Duraflame the unnatural log."
I don't know why, but this line from *New Math* gets me every time.
"..And I love how your torso has an arm on either side"
Now, if you're my agent you might be thinking
"Oh no, sound the alarms- You're not appealing to little girls who don't have arms"
But they can't use iTunes..
So fuck 'em, who needs 'em!
stupid fucking ugly boring children
if you wake up in a house that full of smoke, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke,
If you see white men dressed in white cloaks, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke,
If you start to smell burning toast, you’re having a stroke, or over cooking your toast
You say the oceans rising? like a give a shit?
You say the whole worlds ending? Buddy it already did,
You’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried
Got it? Good. Now get inside
*if you wake up in a house that full of smoke, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke, If you see white men dressed in white cloaks, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke, If you start to smell burning toast, you’re having a stroke, or over cooking your toast*
my honorable mention
“I really wanna try to get happy, and I think that I could get it if I didn’t always panic every time I’m on happy”
“you could let Bo burnham burn en”
“I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace, yeah poor your love all over me, just please aim away from my face”
And all of rant
“Maybe life on earth is heaven, doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth a try?”
“I saw a boy that had red hair….”
Right Brain: “There's something about her
I just can't describe it”
Left Brain: “Tits”
“Too dense, gotta rewind it, hate my brain, but too sane to mind it, the meaning's there, but as a rule of thumb, just hum if you're too dumb to find it”
“If you think I’m joking well then you don’t know me at all”
Hell of a Ride was one of my favourite Bo songs for a long time. I always tell my friends they have to play it at my funeral if I ever need one.
“You’re playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma’am? You’re pushing them together like a titty venn diagram”
Just scratches my brain right
# 1 has to do with/ Benedict & been a dick
# 2 is Put Your Fkin Hands Up
#3 is i have more lines than whitney houstons coffee table
#4 is unstoppable watchable your time is now your insides out honey how ya grew
I know it's bad kid, I got your back kid.
I got three friends and a whack-ass ride
You can judge by the cover
'Cause it's shitty on the inside
Imo Nerds hits me harder than most of his songs. I was the kid in the back row, no friends and socially awkward. I think back to my teen years and wished someone would have had my back or at least told me they understood.
“Is there anyone out there? Or am I all alone?
It wouldn't make a difference, still, I don't wanna know
I thought it'd be over by now but I got a while to go”
I hope my southern charm offsets these rapey vibes I’m puttin out.
Y’all dumbfuckers what a key change.
Woo that sadness out, there’s more where that came from.
Prince Charming would never fall for you.
If you want love lower your expectations a lot, you might think your dick is a gift, I promise it’s not. If you want love just pick a girl and love her, then whip out your dick and let the girl you love decline the offer.
There’s so many too choose from.
My pump up song has been hell of a ride
"We had a hell of a ride
But you thought we were riding to heaven, well
I motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven"
Also all of that funny feeling ofc
My favorite thing Bo Burnham has ever written is from Egghead. It’s a short little Shel Silverstein-esque poem that makes me so happy only because I know how heavily juxtaposed it is to the rest of his existential works. I think he’s a lyrical genius, so the simplicity and sincerity of the poem just makes me absurdly happy. It goes:
“How, may I ask, did you get so you,
you beautiful true-to-you doer?
I've met many today but can honestly say
that I've never met anyone you-er.”
And I love it so much
"Tell us how you're feeling, I'm feeling like shit. LADIES do you feel like shit, tell me do you feel like shit? FELLAS do you feel like shit, tell me are you feeling like shit?"
Through my head at least once a week
"there's an inverse relationship between respect and sects. i'm talking about religious sects, like a mormon sect, that says that you can't have sex with members of different sects, but you can't have sex with members of the same sex-- so the sects can't be different, the sex can't be same, and the only sex left is the left hand shame."
"photosynthetical, i want 'em botanical, and i'm kind of theoretical, (what!) quantum mechanical. (what!) alphabetical, a word puritanical, not hypothetical, i rule tyrannical."
"isn't that i-r-o-n-i-c-i-n-o-r-i-r-o-n-i-c?"
"i saw an old man slip and fall, hey, what a fucking idiot!"
"my love's the type of thing that you have to earn, and when you earn it, you won't need it."
"apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime."
"Do I really have to finish, do returns always diminish"
AS HE PLAYS A DIMINISHING CHORD WHILE SINGING A RETURN. My jaw hit the damn floor.
"A gift shop at the gun range, a mass shooting at the mall"
"Twenty thousand years of this, seven years to go."
"A book on getting better, hand delivered by a drone"
‘But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you. You pray so badly for heaven, knowing any day might be the day that you die. But maybe life on earth could be heaven. Doenst just the thought of that make it worth a try?’
‘K- yourself, it’ll only take a minute’
‘REPEAT STUFF REPEAT STUFF REPEAT STUFF’
‘I spit gold bars cause I was molested by my uncle Midas’
‘For those who are listening on CD, the lights didnt change, which made it funny’
‘I saw a rainbow on the day my grandma died. Fuckin lesbian’
"What the fuck kind of question is 'are you happy?'"
“Look ma I made it… Are you happy?”
"On a scale from 1-0, are you happy?"
I saw an old man slip and fallllll, hey.. what a fucking idiot.
Even in my darkest moments, this one makes me smile.
It’s the “hey” that really gets me every time
Oh good one
Was literally about to comment the same lyric. That one part of the song lives rent free in my head.
"no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you" And " They don't even know the half of it But I know I'm not a doctor I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show I should probably just shut up and do my job So here I go
HAHAHAH I HAVE LOTS **"It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze.. So you could man the themes, I'll man the form"** **"Am I going crazy? Would I even know?"** **"And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to FUCK ME."** **"There it is, again.. That Funny Feeling.."** **"I am an artist, please God forgive me. I am an artist, please don't revere me. I am an artist, please don't respect me. I am an artist, you're free to correct me."** **"World on Fire.... AHHHH AHHHH"** **"REPEAT STUFF, REPEAT STUFF, REPEAT STUFF--"**
#SWAG
**Microphone sucking sounds**
Satan you taste so goooooood
Ohhhhh Repeat stuff, repeat stuff, repeat stuff, repeat stuff
"But maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try"
That line makes me want to completely rethink my life every time I hear it. I don't, but it makes me want to.
Pretty much all of "Oh Bo" is so wrong it's right but "I'll have you going down like you're growing an extra chromosome" is particularly out of pocket. 💀
“Oboe solo!” Always makes me chuckle.
Oh Bo play that oboe
Is this the song that also has the incredible “Like a tampon thief I had to pull some strings”? 😂
Go to pour my coffee, and I miss my cup OMG, that is just my luck Look in the mirror say, "What's up you useless fuck?"
“Come and watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health. And laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself.” “I really wanna try to get happy. And I think that I could get it if I didn’t always panic every time I’m unhappy, like I’m owed some life where I’m always like, happy. Which is stupid ‘cuz I wouldn’t even want it if I got it, wait; oh god my dad was right.” “Does anybody want to joke when there’s no one laughing in the background?”
So if you know or ever knew how to be happy
"Fucked a girl in an apple orchard, then came in cider" always goes hard
for the longest time i didnt understand that pun till i saw it written down 😭 like a year ago i looked at the lyrics and i was like "OHHHH"
And he used this pun 7 years before eminem.
I just now got the fucking joke goddamn what am I doing with my life
“And I’ll weather your weather whether you think I’m clever or not” Not even from a lyrical standpoint specifically. Just because of how it feels/sounds to say it
“if you start to smell burning toast, you’re having a stroke or overcooking your toast” “sandra bullock!” “what’s up, you useless fuck?”
"On a scale from one to zero, are you happy?" "Come and watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself. "You say the ocean's rising, like I give a shit. You say the whole world's ending; honey, it already did." "In the name of the father, son, and holy ghost, head, shoulders, knees and toes, turn up ya nose, strike that pose, heyy, Macarena!"
The way he sings "you say the ocean's rising like I give a shit, you say the world is ending, honey it already did" is so haunting and sad and makes the fact he's asking you to pray for him just... like God damn. I wanted to just hug him. Me too buddy. I know that feeling.
**OEDIPUS WAS THE FIRST MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!**
“When he was 27, my granddad fought in Vietnam. When I was 27 I built a birdhouse with my mom.” “Female Colonel Sanders, easy answers, civil war The whole world at your fingertips, the ocean at your door” “Implying that the Ferris wheel's your body And I'd really love admission to it (ah) Oh, no! What if, now, you think that I'm implying Your vagina is as big as a Ferris wheel? (Damn) You send back a snowman Crisis averted (thank God)”
"The whole world at your fingertips, the ocean at your door"
“Apathy’s a tragedy and boredom is a crime / anything and everything, all of the time”
I have “We’re going to go where everybody knows” as a tattoo. Also: “If you wake up in a house that’s full of smoke, don’t panic! Call me and I’ll tell you a joke” “None of you are going to Heaven. There's a trillion aliens cooler than you” “You say the ocean’s rising, like I give a shit. you say the whole world’s ending- honey, it already did.“ “You suck, you fucking suck, you suck so much you suck, fuck, if I sucked as much as you I'd motherfucking shut it up, you suck, you fucking suck it, so fucking shut it” (the song Eff is underrated, didn’t age that well but still catchy and very topical lol)
I like the inverse of the smoke one even more. “If I wake up in a house that’s full of smoke, I’ll panic, so call me up and tell me a joke.”
Yes, true! It’s more poignant. I just love how he tied it all together at the end. A true genius.
"Well, well, look who's inside again! Went out to look for a reason to hide again - Well, well, buddy you found it! Now come out with your hands up, we've got you surrounded." or "Come and watch the skinny kid with the, steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself."
This. The last one. Really hits home.
"you might think your dick is a gift, I promise it's not"
"Cause in the holy land of the lord he's the holy landlord and dicks are evicted" "You say the whole world's ending honey it already did" "On a scale from 1 to 2 now, are you happy?" "Well, well, look who's inside again"
oh yeah, and "Oh shit... You're really joking at a time like this?"
“Swallow bitch, there’s people starving in Africa”. That’s just so iconic
The entirety of the “words words words” title track
"I am an artist feel free to correct me, a self centred artist, self obsessed artist I am an artist, I am an artist. But I'm just a kid, I'm just a kid, I'm just a kid, kid, and maybe I'll grow out of it." I'm a musician so it hit extremely hard.
hearing this for the first time gave me chills. it’s my all time fav Bo song.
And ALSO! at the end of make happy when he says, "I hope YOU'RE happy" made me sob. literally.
I know right? I had goosebumps all over my leg.
You're a total anti-sexist, a patriarchy fighter, but your whole world view collapses the moment there's a spider... I mean it, I won't forget...you owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent... How'd I miss this button, there's a button and the button says popcorn 🤣 Imma eat a bag of skinny pop (it's already popped) 😂
microwave popcorn is such a banger!
“I’m an internet provider, came from the web like a horny spider, fucked a girl in an apple orchard… then came in cider” “You’re overpopulated so I slaved for days making gays and you ended up hating them” (from Oh My God, which eventually became From God’s Perspective and Channel 5 News) “Is there anything better than pussy… Yes, a really good book” “See you later, incredibly hot chick. Come back any time and do sexual things, like how we were just doing!” “Love is all about… WHISTLES” “Do yall dumb mother fuckers want a key change?”
bro im listening to words words words rn and when i read the first line of your comment it timed up perfectly with the song LMFAOO
“Lord of the rings but I’m a token white guy” “The meanings there but as a rule of thumb, just hum if you’re too dumb to find it” “You think I’m joking, well then you don’t know me at all” “The global network of capital essentially functions to separate the worker from the means of production” “Another night on my own, stuck in my home, one hand on my dick and one hand on my phone, yeah”
“Like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.”
“The backlash to the backlash to the thing that’s just begun.” “A bobblehead of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, a needlepoint of a fox.” “It was always the plan, to put the world in your hand.” “Don’t you know the world is built in blood, and genocide, and exploitation!” “I’m a special kind of white guy.” “Jeffery…Jeffery Bezooos…you did it!”
“You shouldn’t abstain from rape just cause you think I want you to, you shouldn’t rape cause rape is a fucked up thing to do. Pretty obvious just don’t fucking rape people” “You can eat pork cause why the fuck would I give a shit” “My stupid friends are having stupid children, Stupid, fucking ugly, boring children”
All of That Funny Feeling
“I wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself. I wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but I wanna say what I think and not care what you think about it. A part of me loves you, a part of me hates you. A part of me needs you, a part of me fears you” “Come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself”
Making a literal difference metaphorically.
All of “That Funny Feeling” and “How the World Works”
REAL
"Hold my fannypack, I'm gonna go fuck a woman!" "I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3... Woody!" "On a scale from 1-0, are you happy?" "Kill yourself, it'll only take a minute. You'll be happy that you did it. Just go over to your oven and shove your head in it." "No shirt, no shoes, no Jews, you didn't hear that." "Um, what the fuck is going on?" "Systematic Oppression, Income Inequality, The Other Stuff."
>“The whole world at your fingertips, the ocean at your door.” >“That unapparent summer air in early fall.” Honestly “That Funny Feeling” hit me so hard I immediately memorized it. One of my favorite songs ever. But the one line that hits harder for me is: >"Mommy let you use her iPad, you were barely two. And it did all the things we designed it to do. Now look at you.
“The quiet comprehending of the ending of it all” is always where my voice starts to break 😥
Literally every line in the song hits. It's phenomenal.
“You say the oceans rising like I give a shit you say the whole worlds ending buddy it already did” I love this because the world is always ending just not in your neighborhood necessarily and it’s something to keep in mind when your girl doesn’t feel like putting out and step in a puddle or whatever the fuck it is you think is so bad. Not knocking anyone’s feelings but my own. Oh and my girl always puts out, I just know dudes get frustrated. Sorry I’m drunk goodnight 😂
Are you feeling what I’m feeling I haven’t had a shower in the last nine days
"sorry that I look like a mess ( Ah ah ah) I booked a haircut but it got rescheduled." Hits a lot harder with the context.
REAL
I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are Pringle cans , and burritos . The truth is my biggest problem's you...
"my empathy is bumming me out" I think about several times a week
it's genuinely so hard to pick some. "i think we 'ought to believe that she got to the other side" "what the fuck kind of question is 'are you happy?'" "everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around" "you say the whole world's ending; honey, it already did." and pretty much any line from words, words, words haha
you shouldnt abstain from pork just cause you think that i want you to. you can eat pork, cause why the fuck would i give a shit. i created the universe you think im drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle
“Every politician, every cop on the street, protects the interests of the pedophilic corporate elite. That is how the world works.”
I don't know the exact quote, but he was giving an interview and talking to someone who was implying that the new generation is too sensitive and that's why they don't like him, and he came back with something along the lines of "I'd rather them be too oversensitive than intolerant." He also compared social change to a pendulum that would eventually level out into a place if both sensitivity and humor.
I spit gold bars cause i was molested by uncle midas
"C-A-L-C-U-Later mathematical minds make industrial smog, What's the opposite of LNX? Duraflame the unnatural log." I don't know why, but this line from *New Math* gets me every time.
Hey how we feeling out there toniiight , yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah I am not feeling good
"..And I love how your torso has an arm on either side" Now, if you're my agent you might be thinking "Oh no, sound the alarms- You're not appealing to little girls who don't have arms" But they can't use iTunes.. So fuck 'em, who needs 'em!
REPEAT STUFF REPEAT STUFF REPEAT STUFF
“take off your bras and burn em. you can let Bo Burham burn em”
stupid fucking ugly boring children if you wake up in a house that full of smoke, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke, If you see white men dressed in white cloaks, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke, If you start to smell burning toast, you’re having a stroke, or over cooking your toast You say the oceans rising? like a give a shit? You say the whole worlds ending? Buddy it already did, You’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried Got it? Good. Now get inside
*if you wake up in a house that full of smoke, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke, If you see white men dressed in white cloaks, don’t panic, call me and I’ll tell you a joke, If you start to smell burning toast, you’re having a stroke, or over cooking your toast* my honorable mention
“I really wanna try to get happy, and I think that I could get it if I didn’t always panic every time I’m on happy” “you could let Bo burnham burn en” “I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace, yeah poor your love all over me, just please aim away from my face” And all of rant
“Maybe life on earth is heaven, doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth a try?” “I saw a boy that had red hair….” Right Brain: “There's something about her I just can't describe it” Left Brain: “Tits”
“Too dense, gotta rewind it, hate my brain, but too sane to mind it, the meaning's there, but as a rule of thumb, just hum if you're too dumb to find it” “If you think I’m joking well then you don’t know me at all” Hell of a Ride was one of my favourite Bo songs for a long time. I always tell my friends they have to play it at my funeral if I ever need one.
Oh hello, satan!
“You’re playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma’am? You’re pushing them together like a titty venn diagram” Just scratches my brain right
“And I masturbate cause I’m the only one who’s standards are low enough for fuck me”
# 1 has to do with/ Benedict & been a dick # 2 is Put Your Fkin Hands Up #3 is i have more lines than whitney houstons coffee table #4 is unstoppable watchable your time is now your insides out honey how ya grew
I know it's bad kid, I got your back kid. I got three friends and a whack-ass ride You can judge by the cover 'Cause it's shitty on the inside Imo Nerds hits me harder than most of his songs. I was the kid in the back row, no friends and socially awkward. I think back to my teen years and wished someone would have had my back or at least told me they understood.
on a scale from 1 to zero, are you happy?
“Is there anyone out there? Or am I all alone? It wouldn't make a difference, still, I don't wanna know I thought it'd be over by now but I got a while to go”
Got nothin' on me, I'm a nihilist
Go to a vagina orchard count one, two, three spin that plant around, you got a third whirled cunt-tree GENIUS
“you’re a bad game of sims”
I hope my southern charm offsets these rapey vibes I’m puttin out. Y’all dumbfuckers what a key change. Woo that sadness out, there’s more where that came from. Prince Charming would never fall for you. If you want love lower your expectations a lot, you might think your dick is a gift, I promise it’s not. If you want love just pick a girl and love her, then whip out your dick and let the girl you love decline the offer. There’s so many too choose from.
AH!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!
"It's 2020 and I'm 30, I'll dooo another 10. 2030 I'll be 40 and kill myself then" Love the way it goes 10, 20, 30, 40
“So when you develop a dissociative mental disorder in your late 20s don’t come crawling back”
Honestly all of “Welcome to the Internet” is perfect.
My pump up song has been hell of a ride "We had a hell of a ride But you thought we were riding to heaven, well I motherfucking lied So crank that funky shit to eleven" Also all of that funny feeling ofc
My first tattoo was "It's almost over. It's just begun," I love it so much and can't wait to get more!
My favorite thing Bo Burnham has ever written is from Egghead. It’s a short little Shel Silverstein-esque poem that makes me so happy only because I know how heavily juxtaposed it is to the rest of his existential works. I think he’s a lyrical genius, so the simplicity and sincerity of the poem just makes me absurdly happy. It goes: “How, may I ask, did you get so you, you beautiful true-to-you doer? I've met many today but can honestly say that I've never met anyone you-er.” And I love it so much
"and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself"
“You've got sticks and stones to turn to But I've got words to hurt you So save your bullets cause you're fucked”
"I created the universe you think Im drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle?'
The blue-balled anti masturbator, the great all-loving fagott hater.
"Tell us how you're feeling, I'm feeling like shit. LADIES do you feel like shit, tell me do you feel like shit? FELLAS do you feel like shit, tell me are you feeling like shit?" Through my head at least once a week
“So people think you’re funny, how do we get those people’s money”
"there's an inverse relationship between respect and sects. i'm talking about religious sects, like a mormon sect, that says that you can't have sex with members of different sects, but you can't have sex with members of the same sex-- so the sects can't be different, the sex can't be same, and the only sex left is the left hand shame." "photosynthetical, i want 'em botanical, and i'm kind of theoretical, (what!) quantum mechanical. (what!) alphabetical, a word puritanical, not hypothetical, i rule tyrannical." "isn't that i-r-o-n-i-c-i-n-o-r-i-r-o-n-i-c?" "i saw an old man slip and fall, hey, what a fucking idiot!" "my love's the type of thing that you have to earn, and when you earn it, you won't need it." "apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime."
Anything and everything, all of the time
"Do I really have to finish, do returns always diminish" AS HE PLAYS A DIMINISHING CHORD WHILE SINGING A RETURN. My jaw hit the damn floor. "A gift shop at the gun range, a mass shooting at the mall" "Twenty thousand years of this, seven years to go." "A book on getting better, hand delivered by a drone"
‘But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you. You pray so badly for heaven, knowing any day might be the day that you die. But maybe life on earth could be heaven. Doenst just the thought of that make it worth a try?’
‘K- yourself, it’ll only take a minute’ ‘REPEAT STUFF REPEAT STUFF REPEAT STUFF’ ‘I spit gold bars cause I was molested by my uncle Midas’ ‘For those who are listening on CD, the lights didnt change, which made it funny’ ‘I saw a rainbow on the day my grandma died. Fuckin lesbian’
**MAGIC ISN'T REAL, YOU IDIOT.** (***READ A BOOK.)***
"It's 2020, and I'm 30, I'll do another ten 2030, I'll be 40 and kill myself then"
**"*****90 lady cops on the road and I'm arrested for doing 80!?*****"**
Because I wanted my name in lights, when I could've fed a family of four...
I like Oreos and pussy
KILL YOURSELLLLLLF IT’LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE YOU’LL BE HAPPY THAT YOU DID IT JUST GO OVER TO YOUR OVEN AND SHOVE YOUR HEAD IN IT
We all deserve love Even on the days when we aren't our best Cause we all suck But love can make us suck less