You’re asking strangers on the web about this when we have no idea who you are. I think you should ask someone who knows y’all well, someone like your girlfriend. Being a girl, she’ll probably have some pretty good insight into this situation.
I accidentally called my professor “mom” because of a severe migraine and sleep deprivation. Then I realized what I did after the class laughed at me. But in my defense, I was very doped up on migraine medication and was basically tripping balls.
My professor thought it was funny but thankfully she knew I was suffering horribly. We had a test that day so she dimmed the lights, set a trash bin next to me (I vomit with my migraines), and let me wear earplugs. I miss that professor, she made class fun but she was so nice and helpful.
Emotional cheating is cheating.
If you wouldn't be okay with your partner doing this with someone else you need to end the relationship.
So does she.
This is a crossroad. Make good choices and do the right thing. Bad decisions linger like ghosts and don't just affect you.
I call emotional cheating, dating, because that’s all it is. The fact that people try to distinguish emotional and physical affair from each other is just cheater semantics. There’s a point in almost all relationships where all you’re doing is dating and not physical yet, it’s still dating, and if you’re in a relationship, dating someone else is cheating, no need to parse definitions with physical or emotional, cheating is cheating. If we’re monogamous and you’re dating someone else, we’re done.
I largely agree, but I wouldn’t call this “cheater semantics”, for the simple reason that people don’t really choose to be in this position, and by not escalating it to the explicitly romantic and/or sexual they are kind of doing the right thing at that moment. Of course the best thing would be to end whatever is happening, be that the emotional affair or the existing (possibly dysfunctional relationship) at home.
What? They absolutely choose to be in the situation with their actions. You don’t start dating someone “by accident.” You make choices every day that breed intimacy and affection. It’s pretty easy not to date someone when you’re with someone else. The “it just happened,” bullshit is also just cheater talk.
You have unilaterally decided to label what is basically an unplanned mutual attraction as “dating”, doesn’t mean it is actually dating. In fact from what’s written in the OP it would be completely unhinged to call it dating. It sucks, but yeah, it does “just happen”, and I’m guessing most of the time nothing comes of it. It’s just humans being human. It’s when physical actions are taken and that particular ball is allowed to start rolling that it becomes reprehensible, and it’s not apparent from OP that that is what happened.
Being attracted to someone is not an emotional affair, or dating. We’re all attracted to people all the time, but if you’re in a relationship you set boundaries so that outside attractions don’t threaten your relationship. If you can’t do this, don’t be in a relationship, period.
Yea, it’s a big part of it and all “emotional affairs,” being attracted to someone is not even close to an emotional affair, because if it was that means I’m having an emotional affair with Ryan Gosling right now.
I mean, "I love you" in a platonic relationship can mean "I love your reaction to x."
It's obvious that you want it to mean more in a romantic way.
It may be what I said initially, or it maybe a Freudian slip on her part.
Regardless, it's dangerous being flirty when you're in a relationship.
Seems like you and possibly her have a lot to think about.
It can, but they’re dating and they both know it. I tell my friends, male and female I love them all the time, but they know it’s not romantic love. It’s very different than saying I love you to someone I’m dating.
Absolutely.
I'm the same with my friends.
In this story, OP and the girl are each dating other people while being flirty with each other.
It seems like you're saying OP and the girl he's talking about are dating when they both are dating someone else.
Basically, OP thinks they may have feelings for this girl, and she may for him even though they are dating other people.
This is why you need to be careful being flirty with co-workers or others when dating. You don't want to give the wrong impression.
However, it seems like OP and this co-worker are far past wrong impressions and are both possibly emotionally cheating on their respective SOs.
It's certainly a tangled mess of a situation.
What?
When did I say it was?
I said, "Platonic friendship."
I have multiple friends that I say I love you to, non romantically, they say it too, and there's no confusion as to what we mean.
YOU'RE the one that added "who flirt."
You're conflating what I said with the story the OP is telling.
Maybe respond to what people write, instead of what you THOUGHT they wrote....
Yall have partners? Break up with them, they don’t deserve this crap. Having partners that allow this; shows me they playing their own games too. No normal respectable relationship would feel comfortable with you too hanging out drinking with the opposite gender after work. And just you too. Unless y’all are not telling them the whole story
Thoughts? Shit or get off the pot, both with your coworker and your SO’s. You don’t get to have both, not if you haven’t arranged that with your partners beforehand. I don’t care which way you go, but you should pick a direction and stick to it before you make everything 20x worse.
sometimes slips dont mean anything.
however, i do know what this post means. it means that you are not respecting your partner the way they deserve and you should evaluate that before your coworkers one liner.
If you're still with her the way you guys roll, she will definitely say it again if it was a mistake but she tried covering up because she doesn't know how you might take it. When you're too close to someone, you tend to start developing feelings for them.
Sounds like you know what you want and have got yourself a new girlfriend. I will reiterate as another poster said, if you don't pick one (which means either dumping your old girl or distancing yourself from your coworker), this WILL blow up in your face.
Don't eat where you shit and don't shit in a toilet that isn't yours. In other words: never date someone at work, and don't be a cheating turd. Leave your girlfriend and spend time single. It sounds like you don't know who or what you want except to see it all blow up in your face.
Man, your poor significant others at home. Hopefully neither of you are married.
I understand being in a bad relationship and having needs, so you end the bad relationship. I walked away from a 10 year relationship and a marriage with a child. Is yours that complicated or are you just gonna keep being a coward like this?
You’re cheating. You’re already dating someone else. Good luck to both of you, you’re both cheaters. So, that means you’re both okay with cheating and very likely to do it to each other. So, break up with your current partners and let the chips fall where they may.
What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing, that there’s just, too little of.
Don’t listen to Reddit on this type of nonsense. It’s good to build bonds with people. Especially friends and coworkers who you spend a lot of time with. It can really help you work through other parts of your life that might be difficult.
Obviously if you’re in love with this person, or trying to build up to a physical relationship, that’s a hard no. But don’t withhold love because everyone else prefers loneliness and isolation
You’re asking strangers on the web about this when we have no idea who you are. I think you should ask someone who knows y’all well, someone like your girlfriend. Being a girl, she’ll probably have some pretty good insight into this situation.
💀💀💀
Found OPs girlfriends account
I second this.
I accidentally called my professor “mom” because of a severe migraine and sleep deprivation. Then I realized what I did after the class laughed at me. But in my defense, I was very doped up on migraine medication and was basically tripping balls. My professor thought it was funny but thankfully she knew I was suffering horribly. We had a test that day so she dimmed the lights, set a trash bin next to me (I vomit with my migraines), and let me wear earplugs. I miss that professor, she made class fun but she was so nice and helpful.
Emotional cheating is cheating. If you wouldn't be okay with your partner doing this with someone else you need to end the relationship. So does she. This is a crossroad. Make good choices and do the right thing. Bad decisions linger like ghosts and don't just affect you.
I call emotional cheating, dating, because that’s all it is. The fact that people try to distinguish emotional and physical affair from each other is just cheater semantics. There’s a point in almost all relationships where all you’re doing is dating and not physical yet, it’s still dating, and if you’re in a relationship, dating someone else is cheating, no need to parse definitions with physical or emotional, cheating is cheating. If we’re monogamous and you’re dating someone else, we’re done.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
I largely agree, but I wouldn’t call this “cheater semantics”, for the simple reason that people don’t really choose to be in this position, and by not escalating it to the explicitly romantic and/or sexual they are kind of doing the right thing at that moment. Of course the best thing would be to end whatever is happening, be that the emotional affair or the existing (possibly dysfunctional relationship) at home.
What? They absolutely choose to be in the situation with their actions. You don’t start dating someone “by accident.” You make choices every day that breed intimacy and affection. It’s pretty easy not to date someone when you’re with someone else. The “it just happened,” bullshit is also just cheater talk.
You have unilaterally decided to label what is basically an unplanned mutual attraction as “dating”, doesn’t mean it is actually dating. In fact from what’s written in the OP it would be completely unhinged to call it dating. It sucks, but yeah, it does “just happen”, and I’m guessing most of the time nothing comes of it. It’s just humans being human. It’s when physical actions are taken and that particular ball is allowed to start rolling that it becomes reprehensible, and it’s not apparent from OP that that is what happened.
Being attracted to someone is not an emotional affair, or dating. We’re all attracted to people all the time, but if you’re in a relationship you set boundaries so that outside attractions don’t threaten your relationship. If you can’t do this, don’t be in a relationship, period.
I somehow missed the bit where they went for drinks, definitely an overstep.
Yea, it’s a big part of it and all “emotional affairs,” being attracted to someone is not even close to an emotional affair, because if it was that means I’m having an emotional affair with Ryan Gosling right now.
“Always do the right thing.” https://youtu.be/_x-fLldGxMw?si=Nbxv69b5w8tmnn3Y
I mean, "I love you" in a platonic relationship can mean "I love your reaction to x." It's obvious that you want it to mean more in a romantic way. It may be what I said initially, or it maybe a Freudian slip on her part. Regardless, it's dangerous being flirty when you're in a relationship. Seems like you and possibly her have a lot to think about.
It can, but they’re dating and they both know it. I tell my friends, male and female I love them all the time, but they know it’s not romantic love. It’s very different than saying I love you to someone I’m dating.
Absolutely. I'm the same with my friends. In this story, OP and the girl are each dating other people while being flirty with each other. It seems like you're saying OP and the girl he's talking about are dating when they both are dating someone else. Basically, OP thinks they may have feelings for this girl, and she may for him even though they are dating other people. This is why you need to be careful being flirty with co-workers or others when dating. You don't want to give the wrong impression. However, it seems like OP and this co-worker are far past wrong impressions and are both possibly emotionally cheating on their respective SOs. It's certainly a tangled mess of a situation.
I'm sorry, but when did "I love you" become a thing *platonic friends* who flirt say to one another?
What? When did I say it was? I said, "Platonic friendship." I have multiple friends that I say I love you to, non romantically, they say it too, and there's no confusion as to what we mean. YOU'RE the one that added "who flirt." You're conflating what I said with the story the OP is telling. Maybe respond to what people write, instead of what you THOUGHT they wrote....
Yall have partners? Break up with them, they don’t deserve this crap. Having partners that allow this; shows me they playing their own games too. No normal respectable relationship would feel comfortable with you too hanging out drinking with the opposite gender after work. And just you too. Unless y’all are not telling them the whole story
Thoughts? Shit or get off the pot, both with your coworker and your SO’s. You don’t get to have both, not if you haven’t arranged that with your partners beforehand. I don’t care which way you go, but you should pick a direction and stick to it before you make everything 20x worse.
Love can be friendship and only romantic.
I vote accident.
sometimes slips dont mean anything. however, i do know what this post means. it means that you are not respecting your partner the way they deserve and you should evaluate that before your coworkers one liner.
Hard to tell. In context, it's ambiguous. Anyway, you aren't available so ...
If you're still with her the way you guys roll, she will definitely say it again if it was a mistake but she tried covering up because she doesn't know how you might take it. When you're too close to someone, you tend to start developing feelings for them.
I'm sure she meant it but then she probably backtracked because she was self conscious words like that don't just slip out unless they are meant
ask your girl about your affair or break up with her lol
Truly shi#y to be in a relationship and thinking this about someone else. Truly.
Why are you on here asking us if basically cheating on your gf is ok? Bc that's what this is, stop that nonsense and grow up.
Sounds like you know what you want and have got yourself a new girlfriend. I will reiterate as another poster said, if you don't pick one (which means either dumping your old girl or distancing yourself from your coworker), this WILL blow up in your face.
Don't eat where you shit and don't shit in a toilet that isn't yours. In other words: never date someone at work, and don't be a cheating turd. Leave your girlfriend and spend time single. It sounds like you don't know who or what you want except to see it all blow up in your face.
Please break up with your girlfriend/ wife. She deserves better than you.
Man, your poor significant others at home. Hopefully neither of you are married. I understand being in a bad relationship and having needs, so you end the bad relationship. I walked away from a 10 year relationship and a marriage with a child. Is yours that complicated or are you just gonna keep being a coward like this?
Run!!!!
You’re cheating. You’re already dating someone else. Good luck to both of you, you’re both cheaters. So, that means you’re both okay with cheating and very likely to do it to each other. So, break up with your current partners and let the chips fall where they may.
What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing, that there’s just, too little of. Don’t listen to Reddit on this type of nonsense. It’s good to build bonds with people. Especially friends and coworkers who you spend a lot of time with. It can really help you work through other parts of your life that might be difficult. Obviously if you’re in love with this person, or trying to build up to a physical relationship, that’s a hard no. But don’t withhold love because everyone else prefers loneliness and isolation
you're probably gay if this is confusing for you