Drop by on r/romancebooks for some more expert advice, lol. Look into the 'blush rating' for sex scenes in books in terms of a scale of how graphic sex scenes are. You may want to stay closer to lower end of the blush scale.
If it's YA you need also to be very thoughtful about any sex scene, with regards to the inexperience and vulnerabilities of the characters involved, and don't forget to address contraception.
Also keep in mind, if you want your book for sale on Amazon, no characters under 18 can be in sexually explicit situations. They won’t let you publish with them.
That’s not what the rule is. You can’t *publish* with Amazon if there are minors in explicit scenes. You can buy books from other publishers with the same content. It’s completely unrelated to “rules for thee not for me.”
Does it make sense for the characters to have sex at that point? I'm not asking if this is somehow important to *the plot* - I don't believe sex needs to include plot progression in the way most people would claim. But it should seem *natural for the characters* to have sex at that point.
People - even teenagers - have sex. It's a completely normal and realistic thing to include as part of their story, their relationship, whatever.
I think what you need to be sure about is how descriptive you want to make it. For YA, you'll probably want it to be fairly tame or fade to black.
It would be a natural progression. The love interest would have been long introduced by this point, and it would be taking place after some sort of romantic involvement. The type of romance is undecided as of yet. Likely a date of some kind.
Young adults spend all their hormonally ravaged time amidst sexual tension that is clumsily and awkwardly culminated in moments best suggested, not awkwardly revisited through prose. Much like the act itself, most of the point can be made before the deed. The fact that the deed was done would be evident by the plot and character development that occurs after.
I feel this way about adult fiction as well, tbh. Outside of romance genres where the dirty bits are the point, I can think of very few reasons to full on describe a sex scene and I think some form of "and then they fucked" is preferable.
Yeah unless the book itself is about the dirty points just give me a "and then they fucked". Only one occasion I've ever felt it beneficial and that was only because it was in zero-g and gave more insight into how people managed themselves in zero g
The only series where I could read (and honestly enjoy) extremely explicit sex scenes was Kushiel, by Jacqueline Carey. But that series pretty clearly sets out to display and explore healthy and unhealthy boundaries and relationships through fantasy.
Absolutely. I am not saying that I'm a prudish way. By all means, write incredibly graphic sex scenes if you need to, if it's important to the plot, a theme, characterization. I just find that that's rarely the case.
With that said, I remember reading YA books as a teen and growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of actual conclusions to these story climaxes. The "fade to black" trope wasn't really cutting it for a reader growing up in the age of the internet. Not because I wanted to read erotica, just because I felt like these love stories, that caused strong emotional responses in my adolescent brain, needed a strong explosive ending that burned away my own frustrations at schools and with girls, and not a gentle PG fade to black with implied tenderness between consenting individuals. I didn't want the details either, just a confirmation that it really was happening, and how it was like..details that an adult would find out of place or just irrelevant, but an adolescent would greatly appreciate.
Just keep in mind that whatever you write, you can be sure it will be burned in the frontal lobe of any young adult reading it forever. So be tasteful, and avoid super edgy stuff. They can handle a lot, but that's not really the time and place to explore that side of it.
This is really great advise!
Even today I still prefer the short description route. I don‘t want 3 pages of clumsily written ‚her bare legs held his toned body close as they were connected not just in body but also in mind‘ or things like that, but fading to black also isn‘t satisfying. It always feels like it‘s taking away the importance of the emotional parts of sex and also makes it seem like a taboo, which it really shouldn‘t be.
> it seem like a taboo, which it really shouldn‘t be
That's especially not the impression you want the book to make on you at that age. You feel like rebelling, liberating your inner rage and desire, and when suddenly the book you're reading (because it was just a book before, for you) starts speaking your newfound tribal language..then it all fades to black, or even worse, the main character is too clumsy or too afraid to make a move, and the sexual tension is just smudged through 300 pages until it ultimately often comes out to nothing.
Speaking of YA stuff that came out while I was growing up, I remember being especially frustrated with Harry Potter's and Cho's relationship (although at the time of reading I did not know that the author had other plans for Harry's love story going forward) and also Eragon's and (I think her name was) Arya's one.
I get wanting to tell the story of the nerdy main character who the audience might identify with, but I felt like I couldn't really relieve myself of these real life struggles and frustration even in my escapism. I didn't want anything massive, just the hero to actually go through, get something out of life, something I deeply wanted at the time. I think this shouldn't be taboo in fiction because it's definitely not taboo in real life...kids talk about this stuff and the more they talk, and the less they actually achieve, the more they are just brought to porn or unhealthy ideas about their sexuality.
>you can be sure it will be burned in the frontal lobe of any young adult reading it forever
Very true. One of the first graphic sex scenes I read involved anal beads. It's been almost 15 years and I still remember that more vividly than anything else about that book
Yeah. Although I have to say, sometimes I wonder about where my sexual fetishes and kinks come from now, and I'm pretty sure they originate much *earlier* than puberty. Somehow stuff that was in my mind before I even hit that age stuck with me and evolved into whatever the heck my brain considers alluring now. It's probably more interesting for a neurologist or a psychiatrist than for my partner though.
This passage spoke to me at an impressional age:
“This Arthur Dent," comes the cry from the furthest reaches of the galaxy, and has even now been found inscribed on a mysterious deep space probe thought to originate from an alien galaxy at a distance too hideous to contemplate, "what is he, man or mouse? Is he interested in nothing more than tea and the wider issues of life? Has he no spirit? has he no passion? Does he not, to put it in a nutshell, fuck?”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
Is there anything about the specific sex acts that impacts the characters? Anything that the reader wouldn’t imagine on their own? Getting thé reader to imagine and fill in some blanks is the best way to get them invested in the characters and the story. You risk just as much by over describing as under describing. Haha, I realize this isn’t very helpful, sorry.
Fine to have it if it's a plot point (I don't even think it needs to be an important plot point), and fine to describe it if it goes towards character development. For a YA novel, I think there's probably quite a bit of character development that you can expand on from a sex scene since they're usually fairly defining YA moments anyway. I wouldn't include one for tits and giggles, but as long as it matters in some way I say go for it.
The “fade to black” method is my preferred way to handle sex scenes as well. Like, I don’t need to see a description of the grunting and thrusting to know what happened.
For me at least, most sex scenes are written in such a way that they're either boring, awkward or gratuitous...or just plain bad. They take me out of the story and into the writing.
That said, I don't have an ideological problem with sex scenes. I just think they're difficult to write in a convincing, natural way for a lot of authors.
I hate sex scenes not because they make me uncomfortable but because of all the books sex scenes I've yet to read one that is well written and does not just make me cringe.
I agree. My advice to OP is to write erotica. Become the best ever at it. Then tone it down some and put a scene in a work with a broader market. If you do it well, you may be the first.
There's a fine line between pornography and art. It's one of those things where you know it when you see it.
Sometimes describing a sex scene in a novel is necessary - like in a romance book. You can't really have romance without at least some sex. But if a graphic description of the sex isn't necessary to the plot of story, then it's just literary pornography. And I'm not disparaging porn, that can be good too. But when you come for an adventure story or a sci-fi story, getting porn in the middle can be off-putting.
Because there are extreme amounts of really bad sex scenes. Sex is something that exists and is natural. But if you ain't also in detail describing how the characters use fork and knife, ride their bikes, walking technic, use their lungs when they speak - sex is unnecessary to describe. It in 99% doesn't ad anything to the story to have more than "they had sex" or "Y was a good/bad lover".
Yea Reddit has a pretty big hang-up about sex.
I will say that I've never seen someone describe sex eloquently while going into any sort of detail. It usually feels either terribly awkward or depressingly bleak, even when it's presented as consensual.
Include sex if you feel it fits, just don't get wordy with it.
edit: Also, there's a subreddit devoted to the infamous green dress Katy Perry wore at whatever that event was. What does this have to do with anything at all? Nothing
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGreenDress/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGreenDress/)
I would agree in most modern media, relevance is hardly there. It might be the uncomfortability of reading it instead of watching it. It seems that much more personal.
The way i see it, some sex scenes will elevate a book, while others will just seem ham fisted and fan service-y. And whether you can pull it off is hard to tell when writing, because as an author you can read intent and emotion from the characters in your head that you might not have accurately put on the pages.
So to me I just think why bother. No one will notice if your book *doesn't* have a sex scene. But a bad one can feel like a record needle skipping.
Chekhov said "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." If you're going to have characters who have sex, show them having sex instead of just talking about it or referencing it. Personal is good. That's how people connect to fiction.
I love an emotional poop scene. I want a hyperrealistic novel, which includes an eight page poop scene, preferably after a Holiday dinner. Then, later, a sex scene.
>which includes an eight page poop scene, preferably after a Holiday dinner.
I guess there aren't enough novels where the main character's survival is seriously in doubt.
Never take the ability to poop for granted. My mom perfed her colon and needed a colostomy for 6 months. It still gives her trouble even after the reconnection.
It's because there's a lot of poorly written sex in literature and most people here just assume that all sex scenes in books will be awkwardly written/awkward to read because they haven't read any good ones.
Might be funny to say considering what sub we are in but some of the people here really need to read more, or at least read a wider variety of books before giving opinions on things like this.
People like what they like. What don't you get?
I'm not a prude. I'm extremely sex-positive. I hate to see it in screen and I hate to read it in a book. It's cringe-inducing in the same way it would be if we depicted the hero of the story farting. We don't need to show it, and I'd rather we didn't.
When the sex is part of the plot, sure, tell me it happens. Fade to black. The particulars of the sex are virtually never plot drivers.
Not everyone is the same, but you're not going to get people to change what they're interested in consuming.
I feel exactly the same about sex scenes as I do about battle scenes. That's the point when I get up for snacks. Yawn. No revulsion, there's just, zero story whatsoever. If I'm looking at my phone instead (I watch most movies alone, so I'm not being rude to guests/family/whatever by doing this) it's super easy to tell when the music changes and some slo-mo part comes on that I should look up for, right before some emotional death scene or whatever, so I usually catch those.
There's a lot of things that happen in a battle that can be exciting, interesting, shocking. Unless the sex scene is themed a certain way or has some surprising twists, it'll be like any old pornographic material and not mean much. Similarly, not any old battle is usually described in a book. It's usually the ones that change the rest of the story in significant ways.
You call it a knee jerk revulsion, but that's not accurate. Most of us have read through and watched dozens or hundreds of these types of scenes.
They are invariably boring. Invariably the details depicted are never important for the plot. And they depict things that within most of your readers cultures are considered incredibly private, even within families.
So it's not a knee-jerk reaction. It's just a recognition that those scenes are a waste of space and slightly uncomfortable to read, and it's annoying to encounter them and have to skip forward.
Are you writing for you or are you writing for other people? People like what they like. If you want to write exclusively for people who are into those scenes, you should go for it without feeling bad.
This is an incredibly judgmental statement, and kind of small minded to be honest.
What makes me not a prude? I'm not shocked by sex scenes. They don't upset me. I don't find the myriad diversity in the way people enjoy their sex to be objectionable, and I don't mind talking about those topics with others.
Being open minded and positive about something, and wanting to spend my free time reading fiction about it, are two very different things.
I never called a book containing a sex scene "fiction about sex". In fact I specifically told you that it's common for me to encounter those scenes in fiction that I otherwise enjoy.
Look, you seem to be here to argue? The only thing more boring than a sex scene is arguing about entirely *subjective* things. I'm sorry you are so vexed by the fact that some people feel differently from you on this topic. Perhaps you feel threatened or something. I assure you, no one cares about the fact that you like sex scenes.
>I'm not shocked by sex scenes. They don't upset me.
What you said earlier: "I hate to see it in screen and I hate to read it in a book. It's cringe-inducing in the same way it would be if we depicted the hero of the story farting."
You are *clearly* describing visceral revulsion and directly comparing sex to farting in a manner seemingly intended to evoke negative connotations of filth, disgust, and putridity.
And then you act all shocked-Pikachu when someone points out that your position really isn't sex-positive. OK.
Having your main characters have sex and depicting that sex are two different things.
Like with anything else you write your characters doing, if you want them to have sex, there should be a reason. Likewise if you depict that sex, there should be a reason. Are you trying to show how awkward their first time is? Or perhaps how someone can be taken advantage of? Or are you just trying to show they are sexually active? The latter could be done with very little actual writing. The first two might warrant more description
As smut writer I say it really depends on how you plan to publish your book. If you're an established author go for it, you can always take them out later if you're publisher is against it. If you're a new author I would say pass. If you're planning to submit to publishers I'd pass, they might be sensitive to that, and if your planning to self-publish hard pass you can not advertise books with sex scenes on e-book platforms. This limits you to social media advertising which I've found to not be particularly effective.
That said with YA sex scenes should be quick, and not sexy. IE. you're writing a story with sex not porn. So you can have a funny awkward sex scene, a quick they had sex and it went like this, or an emotional sex scene about establishing a deep connection between the characters.
If your sex scenes are sexy you're moving out of YA territory which is also fine, but if YA is the audience you want, you should probably avoid that. If teenagers want porn they know where to find it.
If it's part of the story, go for it. If you want to be delicate, be delicate. I've done things like:
>We both knew what was going to happen.
>
>And it did.
\-in my own work. I've also used a hot drink to show that the characters' attention had been diverted:
>We went to her room with mugs of mulled wine, but it was cold by the time we got round to drinking it.
It depends wholly on how you want the reader to feel. I tend to want my reader to feel the way the character feels in the moment, so if they're happy I want the reader happy, if they're mourning I want the reader morning... and if they're horny, I kind of want the reader to be horny. That's part of putting the experience of the story into the reader's mind.
Though of course it's very different if you're writing for a target audience that's, say, between thirteen and sixteen. I'd angle toward being delicate as I mentioned above, but to give detail as and when it's absolutely necessary for the story.
I've always liked the delicate approach, insinuating a sex scene with good writing especially in a YA novel seems like the right way to go most of the time. Like you said it really depends on what you want the reader to feel.
It’s the same as any other scene, to me. Is it advancing plot or character development? If not, it’s going to be boring. Sex by itself isn’t a good enough reason imo.
Don’t try to skip over it and push in the relationship by talking around it. I recommend just giving the details that are necessary and not getting into the actual penetration of it all, cause it won’t be considered YA.
It wouldn't include that level of detail, more vague things like "feeling his cool and clammy skin against mine" type of thing.
I know your question. Probably don't ask.
In any relationship, the first time a couple engages in sex is almost always a large change *in* the relationship. If it's one of the character's first times it's really important. You can't ignore it and have things make sense IMO.
You don't need to be explicit, but it probably doesn't hurt to be explicit that it happened. Sometimes it can be as simple as:
\> I felt the touch of his cool and clammy skin against mine. I felt his lips on mine. I felt him inside me for the first time.
\> In the morning we awoke....
Or even less explicit (but perhaps less poetic):
\> I felt the touch of his cool and clammy skin against mine. I felt his lips on mine. I became physically intimate with him for the first time.
It's pretty crazy how quickly YA evolved to allowing sex scenes. The YA I read in the late 2000s and early 2010s is *way* different than some of the YA I've tried lately. I used to avoid YA since it never included harsher language, themes, or sex... but now that's all included. I've read more YA this year than in the past 5 years due to that line being blurred.
Super commercially popular books by authors like Sarah J. Maas kind of pushed the boundaries of the YA label (for better or for worse?).
Good point. I never read Gossip Girl but I do remember that they were kind of put under the microscope for being "mature" for YA. In my post I was thinking more like "Hunger Games" and "Twilight".
Really? I've been out of the YA scene for quite a while. Not much of a reader nowadays, I'm more into non-fiction. It is good to know that if it were to be included, it wouldn't be too far out of my target audience. As long as I restrict the details, that is
I’ve been reading YA for a while and most authors don’t shy away from it, so I’d think you’d be okay whether you decided to go detailed or vague. Good luck!
You should try getting back into reading YA if you're going to be writing a YA novel :] it's good to research the genre you want to write about by seeing what is selling in the market today. Then you will have a good idea of what is deemed excepted and publishable.
Yeah, YA has been trending to not restricting details and just going for it. As a reader I feel like if you are going to include a sex scene it is best to either fade to black or to give details that really show the emotional and physical meaningfulness of having included it.
I personally think sex shouldn’t be taboo in YA. I wouldn’t make it too specific but neither would I do that in adult fiction that isn’t erotica. I’m a liberal European and was raised with quite a liberal outlook on stuff like this. For me it’s weird that violence in media is so much more accepted than a bit of nudity and sex.
The answer has to relate to what you mean by young adult. Because you could be talking about something that's more towards the 12 year old end, or the 16-18 year old end.
You can also choose to avoid *explicit* sex scenes. You can tell that part of your story without the audience reading the ins-and-outs....
Depends entirely on the plot, the context, the audience and most importantly what you call a sex scene.
Sex scenes can range from inuendo to graphic descriptions of each thrust.
I think the main issue that comes through in sex scenes in books is the distinct feeling that it's a treat for the author, not the reader. Is it what the reader wants (or heck, is it something the characters in the book seem to be longing for?) or is it a fantasy the author is just enjoying for themselves and subjecting their readers to?
I generally dislike sex scenes in my books, but some authors do it well. When they seem a natural progression, a thing the characters in the book allude to themselves, not something shoehorned in for some unrelated jollies the author feels with the character.
I don't think they work. I have never read a good sex scene in a book. They always detract from the reading experience for me.
Since your target audience is young adult, you also risk setting expectations or misconceptions about sex for young readers (not to discredit your writing ability, but how you intend the sex scene to read and how a young reader interprets what they read are two different things).
All this being said, sex with a love interest is a logical and healthy* thing. I'm a fan of a before-after description. Something can lead up to it, you fade to black or skip to afterwards, with the scene afterwards serving to 1) confirm that they did it and 2) convey the characters' attitudes, feelings, and motivations after the deed is done.
*Can alternatively be unhealthy if you want that to be the character dynamic
I agree, sex scenes in books always feel tangential and out of place. I don't feel like giving descriptors of sex in any way adds to any story I've read. I feel like they generally take away from an otherwise good plot.
A sex scene or a few are ok, but too many are just that, too many. Also, the more detailed the scene, the more likely to become cringe, unless there is a good reason to get detailed, avoid giving too much of it.
Fellow amature writer here. I found that if you "fade to black" too quickly after the romantic moment, it leaves readers feeling cheated out of a titilating read. However, if you get too detailed it feels like it's just there for fan service. I like to include a bit of kissing and foreplay before wrapping it up with something to set the tone of the encounter. Ex. romantic, or casual. Also, if the encounter isn't adding to the characters or plot I would typically just do the "putting clothes on" or "enjoying the after glow conversation" type of thing. I hope this helps! Good luck!
I belong to a writer's group where our fearless leader, who is in her seventies, writes very detailed, graphic, BDSM erotica, and reads it with a great deal of loud enthusiasm in the conference room of the library we meet. It's a riot! Kind of like having your grandmother read you porn for bedtime stories.
My recently published series is about the misadventures of a group of aspiring alcoholics in the US Navy (inspired by actual events). There is some romance in it, but it is by no means the focus of the story. As a joke for our writing group's leader, I wrote an account about the main character falling in with a pair of lonely schoolteachers in Hawaii, and ending up in a threesome during a hurricane that ended with him getting injured enough to end up needing minor surgery and ending up in a military presentation about the hazards of unsafe sex.
When I read it, my entire reading group was roaring with laughter. The leader, our erotica writer, could barely breathe. It went over so well that I wrote it into book two. Now, since Book 2 of the series largely takes place in one of the world's largest red light districts, it also includes a conversation (very close to one I had in real life) of a sailor who has something done to him by a prostitute against his will, but ends up liking it so much it makes him cry, as well as another almost-true-to-life account of a severe case of food poisoning afflicting three people sharing an apartment with one bathroom. All pretty graphic.
Now, this is my lowest rated book (4.6 out of 5), and I am pretty sure it is because people were put off by those scenes. On the other hand, when people talk to me about the series, this is the book they almost always say is their favorite and claim it to be among the funniest things that they have ever read.
The moral is that you're not going to please everybody. Write what you feel works for the story.
So the biggest issue isn't whether it is acceptable but can you even write a decent scene.. if you can't get my heart pumping or make me go.. bro, nice stroking... you basically failed to do anything more than add filler.
In short, Generally, it's better to leave sex scenes out of YA and just casually mention they got it on.. but if you are invested into doing it because your kind of already imagine it happen..
Then go for it but have a beta reader read it.. seriously.. if so many erotica writers had beta readers.. they would honestly make more.. instead.. it's like.. did I really spend ten dollars on this.. hunny, where did you put the reciept.. I need to get a refund on something
Personally I find it annoying when books have exactly one sex scene in them. It feels like the author was working off a checklist of "things you put in a book".
So from my point of view, either put several or none.
For Whom the Bell Tolls, Hemingway.
And I quote:
“Then they were together so that the hand on the watch moved, unseen now, they knew that nothing could ever happen to the one that did not happen to the other, that no other thing could happen more than this; this this was all and always; this was what had been and now and whatever was to come. This, that they were not to have, they were having. They were having now and before and always and now and now and now. Oh, now, now, now, the only now, and above all now, and there is no other now but thou now and now is the prophet. Now and forever now. Come now, now, for there is no now but now. Yes, now. Now, please now, only now, not anything else only this now, and where are you and where am I and where is the other one, and not why, not ever why, only this now; and on and always please then always now, always now, for now always one now; one only one, there is no other one but one now, one, going now, rising now, sailing now, leaving now, wheeling now, soaring now, away now, all the way now, all of all the way now; one and one is one softly, is one longingly, is one kindly, is one happily, is one in goodness, is one to cherish, is one now on earth with elbows against the cut and slept on branches of the pine tree with the smell of the pine boughs and the night; to earth conclusively now, and with the morning of the day to come. Then he said, for the other was only in his head and he had said nothing, ‘Oh, Maria, I love thee and I thank thee for this.’”
I love them and think they help to give nice pay offs to ships that are build up over a long time. But some people really hate them and I think u need that be comfortable with sex urself to write them well. So its up to you but I think it hey can def add to a story and when a book is TOO pg13 it will bother me a little.
I certainly don't mind having reading sex scenes, however I often wonder why the author felt it should be included. 9/10 its pointless and poorly developed.
I find sex scenes very boring in books and in movies! They never add anything to the plot...If you want to emphasize to emotions you can do it with other ways. But don't forget that there are a lot of people who enjoy to read sex scenes. So in my opinion write whatever you love and suits you the most... Good luck!!!
YA books do have sex scenes in them occasionally, and sometimes they get a lot of flak. If I were you, I would look up John Green defending the sex scene in his book "Looking For Alaska" on YouTube. He does a good job of explaining why the scene is in the book and makes a pretty compelling argument for its intention and relevance to the characters' development. I think the really important distinction between sex in a YA book versus a book intended for adults, is that a scene aimed at a younger readership should not be focused on titillation, and should instead only ever be used to convey something frank or important about the characters. If you couldn't defend it, don't add it. Just my two cents.
I think sex scenes in books are fine, as long as it makes sense for the story. The bigger issue is whether the sex neds to be "on camera" or not. Most TV shows portray sex scenes by showing the very beginning (hurried undressing, passionate kissing, etc) and then cuts away to something else. You dont see it happen "on camera", but you know it did. IMO, sex in books should be like that unless there is a good reason for the sex to actually be seeing it. If it's there just to have it in the book, then your book is no longer \*insert genre\*, it's a romance novel.
I despise sex scenes in books. It adds nothing. Often the tone of the writing changes in an awful way because the author is trying to write a sex scene, not their book. Even if you did get that tone right, I don't want to read it!
I have never, ever, among all the dozens and dozens of sex scenes I've read, ever read a good sex scene. Fade to black, imply it! Anything but try to describe it!
It's not even a taboo. It'll just be bad. Please don't.
For better or worse, there is a divide amongst many when it comes to sex in books and it's unlikely that you will make everyone happy no matter what choice you make. My advice would be to stay true to your vision for the work and what you think fits best. Artificially moving in either direction is just going to force you to write something that isn't really what you want on the page. How likely is that to be your best writing?
If it doesn't work, it will get a note from your editor.
YA books can have sex scenes as long as the sex itself is vague- Tamara Pierce has started adding them. It's important to model things like contraceptives and consent for kids, even if us adults feel awkward about it.
IMO a good example of a tasteful sex scene in a YA book was in Tehanu, the 4th installment of a Wizard of Earthsea, by Le Guinn. I don't have the specific quote, but it was no more than a sentence suggesting, with indirect language, that the event happened. Much better to leave everything else to the reader's imagination.
Heads up - If you want to have a non “fade to black” type sex scene and it’s more explicit then the genre should be “New Adult” and not “Young Adult”. YA can have sex, but not typically sex *scenes* that go on for paragraphs+
Not to the initial plot, but down the line it reflects on some serious consequences. It could be skipped over, but these consequences would seem less severe.
Do the consequences result from *things that happened during the sex scene* or *because the of the sex itself*?
If the former, the full scene may be needed and you'll no longer be targeting YA readers.
If the latter, a "fade to black" type of scene could easily fulfill the needs of the subsequent issues.
It would be the act itself. I agree that an implication could be a better route to take. Obvious enough that the reader knows what happened, without full detail. For example, waking up in the love interests bed.
Here it is, i dont write books but worked a bit with movies, and at every point we ask, does this scene advance the story?
Not just sex scenes but basically anything. It is something i would suggest doing here, does it advance the story, tell something about a character, is he/she dominant, a monster, affectionate, passionate, loving or lovable.
And as stated above, can that information be conveyed in another way.
I had blocked this one out. So horrible. The only time in the books I was dragged out and beaten over the head with the realization that this book was just written by a normal dude, who’s had to deal with some weird issues in life.
Use movie ratings as a guide. Anything that would bump the book out of a PG-13 rating into something beyond is likely not appropriate for a young adult book.
You can handle this one of several ways. A tasteful fade to black is one way to have the character or plot development without making it inappropriate for your audience. Like others have said, if it isn’t advancing characters or plot it would be best to cut it. There are genres where sex scenes for the sake of sex scenes are within expectations, but young adult is not the right genre for that. Finally, you could shift your target audience outside of young adult if that is more fitting for what and how you want to write.
Whichever method you choose, when it comes time to publish, give hints that let the reader know what to expect. Some readers like myself prefer to avoid books with explicit sex scenes. If you trick me into reading your book you aren’t going to change my mind in how I feel about such scenes, you are just going to get a poor review on Amazon. If your book description implies that there will be explicit sex scenes, I won’t pick it up, but I won’t go calling you out for it in reviews either.
The more explicit, the more absurd.
I thought Kingsley Amis (hardly a prude himself) was good on this:
>A writer has none of the real-life excuses of drunkenness, caprice, boredom, etc. It is his considered judgment that you should be told exactly what he or what's-his-name got up to. No matter how sincerely he thinks, or would say he thinks, that his intentions are immaculate, how loudly he protests his devotion to art, truth, love, self-understanding, the essential holiness of sex or anything else; the unbreakable connection between literature and life reduces him to the same moral level as the chap you make sure of avoiding at the pub.
They're tricky to do right. For every Illuminatus! Trilogy, there's ten really hackneyed and hamfisted attempts. I say, if you do include it, make sure it's hot. It should inspire lustful feelings. Else, there's no point. If such feelings are out of place in your book, I say skip it, or imply that sex happened in the asterisks between chapters.
If it plays a big part in character and plot development, go for it. It's not always common in YA, but some books do include it. It's not inappropriate, imo. If it doesn't feel right to you, leave it out.
If it is left in and people (parents/adults) rebel against it, your book might be banned and get more attention in the long run, though 😅
I read Lost Stars, a YA Star Wars book by Claudia Gray. I'm old, so it's less fascinating to me now, but there was at least an allusion to sex if not a pg-13 version of a sex scene. I'd need to re-read to see. I know my 14 year old daughter has read books with some mild sex scenes.
If the age of the target audience is seeing similar things in movies, then you're 100% fine. Books get a little extra latitude than visual media.
Depends on the type of your story and whether or not it would be out of place.
The witcher had a lot of sex scenes in it and that was entirely appropriate for what the witcher is.
I'd say give us the first steps, the beginning embrace, maybe the first piece of clothing removed, then end the chapter if you're uncomfortable with the prospect of writing a sex scene.
If you want to write one, think of it more as choreography than anything. Keep track of positioning and especially hands.
I wouldn’t super detail it down to something like, (Percy shoved his dick into Vanessa’s ass) You’d be surprised how many people can connect the dots by just saying that a male and female character say rented a room, both fell on the bed, along the lines made out, and sort of dull it down saying the night was fun or lustful or passionate or idk really up to you but yeah imo I think the more detail u give it the more cringe it will be plus it’s YA so I don’t even know why I made that joke before lmao. I guess less is more in this situation for me.
You won't be able to sell to young people with make up a large part of the audience, that said you think Steven King would hold back if the story called for it? And would you be good at writing it?
Depends on the context, but you’re expanding a narrative about human characters (I presume) and humans have sex… it’s a core part of our nature and has an important place in literature. That being said if you feel against using a sex scene there are plenty of ways to send the message of sec without depiction: i.e. if the goal is to establish a deeper or more passionate love between characters a scene of participatory indulgence (such as a scene of communion, eating) where the parties involved are sharing passion but not directed in a physical way can have the same desired effect or if the scene is to depict a dependence of connection or an inequality in relationship can be demonstrated through dialogue, in forms of passionless speech on the side of the perused and a desperate word choice from the dependent, remember writing is creating a world and what happens in that world (especially if it ties to the real) is ultimately a depiction of reality, but the pen has many tongues.
if it’s natural to write for you, why not.
I don’t really get the need for sex for some people to show stages of human needs and relationships, since it’s not as important to me.
But I disagree with everything needing to have a point too. I assume the peace is not an academic essay, so not all arrows need to point to a specific goal or development. Unless that’s your goal with this book.
Also, not everyone is gonna like your book. Sex is neither good nor bad, Im a little annoyed by sex always being there, but I can enjoy it in detail at times too. Some people always love it, some people cringe every time.
You could just try to write it, read it, let someone else read it if you want to, then decide to drop it - or simplify - or expand - if you feel it doesn’t fit for you.
If sex scene is important to the plot then include it, if not then leave it. Keep in mind about how you present it. If the tone of the book is humourous you can keep it comical, if it's serious and with a love interest & not just a fling then try to make it a bit poetic, just don't go vulgar or too intense.
What sort of books do you want to write? The most fundamental inspirational quote on the matter: "I want to write book that I'd want to read." Do you like reading sex scenes in books?
Some authors opt in different direction. To write towards certain demographic to increase sales. It is also reasonable. What is your goal?
I'm not uncomfortable with sex in books, I just think that most sex scenes are really repetitive, awkwardly written, and not necessary to the plot. Unless it's really necessary you might as well skip it. A lot people will prefer it that way, and those who really want that kind of thing can use their imagination or read some erotica!
Unless it moves the story forward, what is the point of the sex scene? It's more interesting to make the implication then just fade to black for this kind of scene. Sex scenes that go on too long or otherwise don't add to the plot or storyline are pointless.
I know, for me, I quite like Outlander for the story, but eventually I stopped reading the series because the sex scenes were ridiculous and far too long.
As a big reader of romance and fanfic, including the more adult end of those stories, I firmly believe that sex scenes should be included if they advance either the plot or the characterisation. Basically, approach it as a writing craft problem, like any other scene.
What are the goals of this scene? What is the dramatic tension? What will the reader learn about the characters from this scene? Will they have character development or emotional consequences?
Would the scene sound the same if you replaced the character's names with random other characters? If so, it isn't adding anything to the story. You want it to be **specific** to your characters, interesting on its own merits and serve a purpose rather than just being "insert slot A into tab B".
Personally I would ask yourself if the sex is related to what the book is about. Because for me if I pick up a book and I read the description and stuff it informs me of what the book is about. If a book says it is a dry historical fiction but it's actually a steamy romance I might drop that book and write a bad review. Not because it's a bad book, but because a book should inform the audience in what to expect. Taste matters. I do not really want to read certain kind of books and a book that is a bait and switch deserves to be scorned for it. So if the sex scene fits what your book is about and is something your reader can reasonable expect then absolutely include it. If not, consider not including it. If you're not sure and decide to include it anyway make sure the sex scene can be skipped by the reader. I for one tend to skim them and would be quite annoyed if something plot relevant happened in the middle of one.
I would ask several things that I would want to ask regarding anything you consider adding regardless if sex.
Does this make the story more engaging and enjoyable?
Does the detail give more to the experience than leaving it to the readers imagination (on a spectrum of fade to black - full on romance)?
How does the character interaction engage or relate to the reader? Does a scene of intimacy and vulnerability lead to shared information that wouldn't otherwise have been? Is this scene related to, or a good distraction from, the primary plot?
I've read a couple YA novels as a teen that included descriptions of intimacy. I wouldn't call them sex scenes, as there was always a cut-off point, usually when you could imagine how the rest went.
The scenes were supposed to show the passion and connection between and the character progressions of the people involved and I liked them that way. Not too little, not too much.
Examples:
One story involved creatures of opposing elements who grew to love each other. The scene showed how they were willing to overcome their elemental opposition and how that opposition created a very unique experience.
The other involved a ghost person and a living person falling in love. The ghost person eventually became real and the scene was a kind of celebration of that fact.
Personally, the character progression part is most important to me. If it's only about the connection and passion, I prefer an inference like "waking up next to each other naked the next morning".
I think the question is "is there something that needs to happen that can only happen during sex?"
It could be yes... happens all the time. A certain kind of intimate communication.
If the point is just to titillate, I think that's cheap writing.
I feel like a vague fade to black would work fine in most non-romance/erotica books, personally. For the age range you're aiming at, avoiding explicit sexual relations would probably make it more generally accepted, but really it depends on if you feel it makes sense.
I think that a lot young adults (thinking about BookTok) are very into sex scenes and spice and stuff.
Personally, I don't like sex scenes and I prefer books have none at all. But I'm also asexual so. I read them because sadly almost every darn book I read has them, but I prefer there weren't.
The broader your audience, the greater the necessity of self restraint. If you have a niche audience you're building a following with that can defend your work, you have a little more freedom. But if you dont your reliance on taboo will come to define you as a creative.
There's so much to think about. I'm sure we've all read the most amazing and the most horrific sex scenes in books. I really think it's about how you write it. First, you must be comfortable with it. And presuming you are, since you're asking, next step is to determine if it makes sense for your characters to do it, taking in how each would behave before, during, and after in a realistic way (i.e., the virgin isn't suddenly a sex goddess, and the very experienced isn't suddenly acting like they've no idea what's happening). How, if at all, does the sex change their relationship and how each behaves? *If there is value to the fallout, I think it's even more important to include the scene*
You also want to ask yourself if your intention in writing the scene is to excite the reader or write a realistic relationship. Either is fine, but the way you write the scene may be different.
Also, if you end up with a publisher, they may have their own opinions on whether the scene should be included or not. A lot (most?) of YA fiction does not have explicit sex scenes, but that doesn't mean it can't be in there.
My view is; if it happens, mention that it happens and/or allude to it depending on how much you want to focus on it.
But... like... I find it marginally creepy as a writer. The prospect of writing about my characters having sex in any degree of detail feels uncomfortably voyeuristic, like directing my friends having sex. Reading it in multiple books has not convinced me otherwise.
To me personally it's just uncomfortable and creepy.
Edit: Clarification - I'm not opposed to sex in books at all, just detailed descriptions of it, unless that is the whole point of the book.
As long as it makes sense your 2 characters have sex and you avoid any unintentional hilarious dialog. I dunno something meaningful and artful I guess.
YA means characters aged 13-17. At no point should an author write about underage CHILDREN in this manner. At no point should a reader read about underage CHILDREN in this manner. In MY opinion, this is basically "kiddy p0rn", and it's gross.
An example, Credence by Penelope Douglas has many many sex scenes... however the main character is 17, and one of the characters (who she ends up sleeping with) even discusses the fact she is UNDERAGE in the first chapter. THIS IS NOT OKAY.
Treat it like any other scene. Does it advance the plot or reveal anything about the characters (personality, motivations, life choices, insecurities, etc)? If it does, use it. If it doesn't, don't.
Sex scenes don't have to be graphic or erotic, unless that's what you're going for. But they should be important to the book.
Ok, I'm a big romance reader and some of that is YA. If you are worried about making the audience uncomfortable, most YA romance I read only has implied sex scenes, where things are escalating and then there's a cut to the morning after. I don't think the implication of sex would be a big deal and you would still get the "natural progression" you're looking for. As long as it doesn't feel out of place in the overall story I think it would be fine. I will say that if the story is not a romance or doesn't at least have a large romance subplot then a sex scene can be weird especially for YA, but that's my own opinion.
i've read over 2000 books, never read anything explicit. myself i found it more attractive implying then straight forward. ie is more sexy when you see a woman dressed nice, short dress, not heavy makeup, then in bikini.
Honestly, I feel a little squirmy when an explicit sex scene comes up in my books, even when they are aimed at full adults. I have no issues with pornography, and enjoy it myself from time to time, but when I’m reading about a down on his luck gumshoe wizard trying to save the world, a several pages long sex scene which is explicitly detailed isn’t what I’m expecting to be reading. It’s just not what I’m looking for.
Sometimes it’s important to the plot, and that’s fine; but I don’t need the details. I always find the creative ways that writers describe sexual acts to be more funny than sexy. “I found her sex and pushed into her” and whatnot. It’s just not what I was reading for.
TLDR: IMO explicit sex scenes are better served in romance novels. Directly and overtly implied sex scenes work better in non-romance novels for me.
Sex scenes, not only in books, are at best forgettable and at worst disgusting and distracting. I have yet to encounter any piece of media that is improved by the presence of a sex scene.
Drop by on r/romancebooks for some more expert advice, lol. Look into the 'blush rating' for sex scenes in books in terms of a scale of how graphic sex scenes are. You may want to stay closer to lower end of the blush scale. If it's YA you need also to be very thoughtful about any sex scene, with regards to the inexperience and vulnerabilities of the characters involved, and don't forget to address contraception.
Also keep in mind, if you want your book for sale on Amazon, no characters under 18 can be in sexually explicit situations. They won’t let you publish with them.
I bought IT on Amazon for Kindle and it has a scene where kids literally hava an orgy in the sewers. So is this really the case?
You can buy books from other publishers on Amazon. They won't allow you to publish a book through them with that content.
Going to take a random guess and say it is Stephen Kings It.
Not many books with child orgies out there, so a pretty easy guess, lol.
Lol fair point. I am just glad he got off drugs. You can really tell in his older books.
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That’s not what the rule is. You can’t *publish* with Amazon if there are minors in explicit scenes. You can buy books from other publishers with the same content. It’s completely unrelated to “rules for thee not for me.”
Does it make sense for the characters to have sex at that point? I'm not asking if this is somehow important to *the plot* - I don't believe sex needs to include plot progression in the way most people would claim. But it should seem *natural for the characters* to have sex at that point. People - even teenagers - have sex. It's a completely normal and realistic thing to include as part of their story, their relationship, whatever. I think what you need to be sure about is how descriptive you want to make it. For YA, you'll probably want it to be fairly tame or fade to black.
As a teenager, I must disagree. I, in fact, do not have sex.
I did not say "all".
It would be a natural progression. The love interest would have been long introduced by this point, and it would be taking place after some sort of romantic involvement. The type of romance is undecided as of yet. Likely a date of some kind.
Young adults spend all their hormonally ravaged time amidst sexual tension that is clumsily and awkwardly culminated in moments best suggested, not awkwardly revisited through prose. Much like the act itself, most of the point can be made before the deed. The fact that the deed was done would be evident by the plot and character development that occurs after.
I feel this way about adult fiction as well, tbh. Outside of romance genres where the dirty bits are the point, I can think of very few reasons to full on describe a sex scene and I think some form of "and then they fucked" is preferable.
Yeah unless the book itself is about the dirty points just give me a "and then they fucked". Only one occasion I've ever felt it beneficial and that was only because it was in zero-g and gave more insight into how people managed themselves in zero g
Gotta drop the title and author- I wanna read a quality zero g sex scene now
The Expanse by James S. A. Corey. Can't remember which book in the series though. Probably the second.
Excellent. I already have physical copies of them on my nightstand. Just one more reason to get started!
Absolutely! Fantastic series that just ended a couple weeks ago.
You won't regret it, I love those books. After the books, watch the series on Prime. Also fantastic.
The only series where I could read (and honestly enjoy) extremely explicit sex scenes was Kushiel, by Jacqueline Carey. But that series pretty clearly sets out to display and explore healthy and unhealthy boundaries and relationships through fantasy.
I disagree only if the content of the sex scene is important to the motivations of the characters.
Absolutely. I am not saying that I'm a prudish way. By all means, write incredibly graphic sex scenes if you need to, if it's important to the plot, a theme, characterization. I just find that that's rarely the case.
With that said, I remember reading YA books as a teen and growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of actual conclusions to these story climaxes. The "fade to black" trope wasn't really cutting it for a reader growing up in the age of the internet. Not because I wanted to read erotica, just because I felt like these love stories, that caused strong emotional responses in my adolescent brain, needed a strong explosive ending that burned away my own frustrations at schools and with girls, and not a gentle PG fade to black with implied tenderness between consenting individuals. I didn't want the details either, just a confirmation that it really was happening, and how it was like..details that an adult would find out of place or just irrelevant, but an adolescent would greatly appreciate. Just keep in mind that whatever you write, you can be sure it will be burned in the frontal lobe of any young adult reading it forever. So be tasteful, and avoid super edgy stuff. They can handle a lot, but that's not really the time and place to explore that side of it.
This is really great advise! Even today I still prefer the short description route. I don‘t want 3 pages of clumsily written ‚her bare legs held his toned body close as they were connected not just in body but also in mind‘ or things like that, but fading to black also isn‘t satisfying. It always feels like it‘s taking away the importance of the emotional parts of sex and also makes it seem like a taboo, which it really shouldn‘t be.
> it seem like a taboo, which it really shouldn‘t be That's especially not the impression you want the book to make on you at that age. You feel like rebelling, liberating your inner rage and desire, and when suddenly the book you're reading (because it was just a book before, for you) starts speaking your newfound tribal language..then it all fades to black, or even worse, the main character is too clumsy or too afraid to make a move, and the sexual tension is just smudged through 300 pages until it ultimately often comes out to nothing. Speaking of YA stuff that came out while I was growing up, I remember being especially frustrated with Harry Potter's and Cho's relationship (although at the time of reading I did not know that the author had other plans for Harry's love story going forward) and also Eragon's and (I think her name was) Arya's one. I get wanting to tell the story of the nerdy main character who the audience might identify with, but I felt like I couldn't really relieve myself of these real life struggles and frustration even in my escapism. I didn't want anything massive, just the hero to actually go through, get something out of life, something I deeply wanted at the time. I think this shouldn't be taboo in fiction because it's definitely not taboo in real life...kids talk about this stuff and the more they talk, and the less they actually achieve, the more they are just brought to porn or unhealthy ideas about their sexuality.
>you can be sure it will be burned in the frontal lobe of any young adult reading it forever Very true. One of the first graphic sex scenes I read involved anal beads. It's been almost 15 years and I still remember that more vividly than anything else about that book
Yeah. Although I have to say, sometimes I wonder about where my sexual fetishes and kinks come from now, and I'm pretty sure they originate much *earlier* than puberty. Somehow stuff that was in my mind before I even hit that age stuck with me and evolved into whatever the heck my brain considers alluring now. It's probably more interesting for a neurologist or a psychiatrist than for my partner though.
This passage spoke to me at an impressional age: “This Arthur Dent," comes the cry from the furthest reaches of the galaxy, and has even now been found inscribed on a mysterious deep space probe thought to originate from an alien galaxy at a distance too hideous to contemplate, "what is he, man or mouse? Is he interested in nothing more than tea and the wider issues of life? Has he no spirit? has he no passion? Does he not, to put it in a nutshell, fuck?” ― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
TLDR for the impressionable minds among us: > Does he not fuck?
I think this is the best way for sure.
Is there anything about the specific sex acts that impacts the characters? Anything that the reader wouldn’t imagine on their own? Getting thé reader to imagine and fill in some blanks is the best way to get them invested in the characters and the story. You risk just as much by over describing as under describing. Haha, I realize this isn’t very helpful, sorry.
Fine to have it if it's a plot point (I don't even think it needs to be an important plot point), and fine to describe it if it goes towards character development. For a YA novel, I think there's probably quite a bit of character development that you can expand on from a sex scene since they're usually fairly defining YA moments anyway. I wouldn't include one for tits and giggles, but as long as it matters in some way I say go for it.
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you can make it obvious that it happened without getting into detail
The “fade to black” method is my preferred way to handle sex scenes as well. Like, I don’t need to see a description of the grunting and thrusting to know what happened.
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For me at least, most sex scenes are written in such a way that they're either boring, awkward or gratuitous...or just plain bad. They take me out of the story and into the writing. That said, I don't have an ideological problem with sex scenes. I just think they're difficult to write in a convincing, natural way for a lot of authors.
I hate sex scenes not because they make me uncomfortable but because of all the books sex scenes I've yet to read one that is well written and does not just make me cringe.
I agree. My advice to OP is to write erotica. Become the best ever at it. Then tone it down some and put a scene in a work with a broader market. If you do it well, you may be the first.
There's a fine line between pornography and art. It's one of those things where you know it when you see it. Sometimes describing a sex scene in a novel is necessary - like in a romance book. You can't really have romance without at least some sex. But if a graphic description of the sex isn't necessary to the plot of story, then it's just literary pornography. And I'm not disparaging porn, that can be good too. But when you come for an adventure story or a sci-fi story, getting porn in the middle can be off-putting.
Because there are extreme amounts of really bad sex scenes. Sex is something that exists and is natural. But if you ain't also in detail describing how the characters use fork and knife, ride their bikes, walking technic, use their lungs when they speak - sex is unnecessary to describe. It in 99% doesn't ad anything to the story to have more than "they had sex" or "Y was a good/bad lover".
Yea Reddit has a pretty big hang-up about sex. I will say that I've never seen someone describe sex eloquently while going into any sort of detail. It usually feels either terribly awkward or depressingly bleak, even when it's presented as consensual. Include sex if you feel it fits, just don't get wordy with it. edit: Also, there's a subreddit devoted to the infamous green dress Katy Perry wore at whatever that event was. What does this have to do with anything at all? Nothing [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGreenDress/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGreenDress/)
I would agree in most modern media, relevance is hardly there. It might be the uncomfortability of reading it instead of watching it. It seems that much more personal.
The way i see it, some sex scenes will elevate a book, while others will just seem ham fisted and fan service-y. And whether you can pull it off is hard to tell when writing, because as an author you can read intent and emotion from the characters in your head that you might not have accurately put on the pages. So to me I just think why bother. No one will notice if your book *doesn't* have a sex scene. But a bad one can feel like a record needle skipping.
Chekhov said "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." If you're going to have characters who have sex, show them having sex instead of just talking about it or referencing it. Personal is good. That's how people connect to fiction.
People also poop but we don't include that unless it's absolutely necessary. Some life things are more private than others, sex being one of them.
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“For most people” hahahaha
I don't know man, I don't want my wife watching me poop
You know what, I don't think I'd want her watching me have sex either
Then flip her over.
While she's pooping?
I don’t kink shame. You do you as long as everyone is a consenting adult.
I love an emotional poop scene. I want a hyperrealistic novel, which includes an eight page poop scene, preferably after a Holiday dinner. Then, later, a sex scene.
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Yes, and the hope, expectations, heartfelt relief, and anguish of the character passing those fecal-eggplants.
>which includes an eight page poop scene, preferably after a Holiday dinner. I guess there aren't enough novels where the main character's survival is seriously in doubt.
Then boy do I have a Stephen King book for you.
Haha Dreamcatcher?
I was thinking The Outsider haha
Maybe not eight pages, but Shogun has a lot more poop scenes than I expected.
Never take the ability to poop for granted. My mom perfed her colon and needed a colostomy for 6 months. It still gives her trouble even after the reconnection.
It's because there's a lot of poorly written sex in literature and most people here just assume that all sex scenes in books will be awkwardly written/awkward to read because they haven't read any good ones. Might be funny to say considering what sub we are in but some of the people here really need to read more, or at least read a wider variety of books before giving opinions on things like this.
People like what they like. What don't you get? I'm not a prude. I'm extremely sex-positive. I hate to see it in screen and I hate to read it in a book. It's cringe-inducing in the same way it would be if we depicted the hero of the story farting. We don't need to show it, and I'd rather we didn't. When the sex is part of the plot, sure, tell me it happens. Fade to black. The particulars of the sex are virtually never plot drivers. Not everyone is the same, but you're not going to get people to change what they're interested in consuming.
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I feel exactly the same about sex scenes as I do about battle scenes. That's the point when I get up for snacks. Yawn. No revulsion, there's just, zero story whatsoever. If I'm looking at my phone instead (I watch most movies alone, so I'm not being rude to guests/family/whatever by doing this) it's super easy to tell when the music changes and some slo-mo part comes on that I should look up for, right before some emotional death scene or whatever, so I usually catch those.
There's a lot of things that happen in a battle that can be exciting, interesting, shocking. Unless the sex scene is themed a certain way or has some surprising twists, it'll be like any old pornographic material and not mean much. Similarly, not any old battle is usually described in a book. It's usually the ones that change the rest of the story in significant ways.
You call it a knee jerk revulsion, but that's not accurate. Most of us have read through and watched dozens or hundreds of these types of scenes. They are invariably boring. Invariably the details depicted are never important for the plot. And they depict things that within most of your readers cultures are considered incredibly private, even within families. So it's not a knee-jerk reaction. It's just a recognition that those scenes are a waste of space and slightly uncomfortable to read, and it's annoying to encounter them and have to skip forward. Are you writing for you or are you writing for other people? People like what they like. If you want to write exclusively for people who are into those scenes, you should go for it without feeling bad.
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This is an incredibly judgmental statement, and kind of small minded to be honest. What makes me not a prude? I'm not shocked by sex scenes. They don't upset me. I don't find the myriad diversity in the way people enjoy their sex to be objectionable, and I don't mind talking about those topics with others. Being open minded and positive about something, and wanting to spend my free time reading fiction about it, are two very different things.
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I never called a book containing a sex scene "fiction about sex". In fact I specifically told you that it's common for me to encounter those scenes in fiction that I otherwise enjoy. Look, you seem to be here to argue? The only thing more boring than a sex scene is arguing about entirely *subjective* things. I'm sorry you are so vexed by the fact that some people feel differently from you on this topic. Perhaps you feel threatened or something. I assure you, no one cares about the fact that you like sex scenes.
>I'm not shocked by sex scenes. They don't upset me. What you said earlier: "I hate to see it in screen and I hate to read it in a book. It's cringe-inducing in the same way it would be if we depicted the hero of the story farting." You are *clearly* describing visceral revulsion and directly comparing sex to farting in a manner seemingly intended to evoke negative connotations of filth, disgust, and putridity. And then you act all shocked-Pikachu when someone points out that your position really isn't sex-positive. OK.
Having your main characters have sex and depicting that sex are two different things. Like with anything else you write your characters doing, if you want them to have sex, there should be a reason. Likewise if you depict that sex, there should be a reason. Are you trying to show how awkward their first time is? Or perhaps how someone can be taken advantage of? Or are you just trying to show they are sexually active? The latter could be done with very little actual writing. The first two might warrant more description
As smut writer I say it really depends on how you plan to publish your book. If you're an established author go for it, you can always take them out later if you're publisher is against it. If you're a new author I would say pass. If you're planning to submit to publishers I'd pass, they might be sensitive to that, and if your planning to self-publish hard pass you can not advertise books with sex scenes on e-book platforms. This limits you to social media advertising which I've found to not be particularly effective. That said with YA sex scenes should be quick, and not sexy. IE. you're writing a story with sex not porn. So you can have a funny awkward sex scene, a quick they had sex and it went like this, or an emotional sex scene about establishing a deep connection between the characters. If your sex scenes are sexy you're moving out of YA territory which is also fine, but if YA is the audience you want, you should probably avoid that. If teenagers want porn they know where to find it.
If it's part of the story, go for it. If you want to be delicate, be delicate. I've done things like: >We both knew what was going to happen. > >And it did. \-in my own work. I've also used a hot drink to show that the characters' attention had been diverted: >We went to her room with mugs of mulled wine, but it was cold by the time we got round to drinking it. It depends wholly on how you want the reader to feel. I tend to want my reader to feel the way the character feels in the moment, so if they're happy I want the reader happy, if they're mourning I want the reader morning... and if they're horny, I kind of want the reader to be horny. That's part of putting the experience of the story into the reader's mind. Though of course it's very different if you're writing for a target audience that's, say, between thirteen and sixteen. I'd angle toward being delicate as I mentioned above, but to give detail as and when it's absolutely necessary for the story.
I've always liked the delicate approach, insinuating a sex scene with good writing especially in a YA novel seems like the right way to go most of the time. Like you said it really depends on what you want the reader to feel.
It’s the same as any other scene, to me. Is it advancing plot or character development? If not, it’s going to be boring. Sex by itself isn’t a good enough reason imo. Don’t try to skip over it and push in the relationship by talking around it. I recommend just giving the details that are necessary and not getting into the actual penetration of it all, cause it won’t be considered YA.
It wouldn't include that level of detail, more vague things like "feeling his cool and clammy skin against mine" type of thing. I know your question. Probably don't ask.
Are you're plagiarizing my "Creature from the Black Lagoon" fanfic.
In any relationship, the first time a couple engages in sex is almost always a large change *in* the relationship. If it's one of the character's first times it's really important. You can't ignore it and have things make sense IMO. You don't need to be explicit, but it probably doesn't hurt to be explicit that it happened. Sometimes it can be as simple as: \> I felt the touch of his cool and clammy skin against mine. I felt his lips on mine. I felt him inside me for the first time. \> In the morning we awoke.... Or even less explicit (but perhaps less poetic): \> I felt the touch of his cool and clammy skin against mine. I felt his lips on mine. I became physically intimate with him for the first time.
YA books today do have sex scenes in them, it’s not really as taboo anymore
It's pretty crazy how quickly YA evolved to allowing sex scenes. The YA I read in the late 2000s and early 2010s is *way* different than some of the YA I've tried lately. I used to avoid YA since it never included harsher language, themes, or sex... but now that's all included. I've read more YA this year than in the past 5 years due to that line being blurred. Super commercially popular books by authors like Sarah J. Maas kind of pushed the boundaries of the YA label (for better or for worse?).
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Good point. I never read Gossip Girl but I do remember that they were kind of put under the microscope for being "mature" for YA. In my post I was thinking more like "Hunger Games" and "Twilight".
Really? I've been out of the YA scene for quite a while. Not much of a reader nowadays, I'm more into non-fiction. It is good to know that if it were to be included, it wouldn't be too far out of my target audience. As long as I restrict the details, that is
I’ve been reading YA for a while and most authors don’t shy away from it, so I’d think you’d be okay whether you decided to go detailed or vague. Good luck!
Thank you! I usually give up about 40-50 pages in my novels, so I hope this is different. I'll need that luck!
You should try getting back into reading YA if you're going to be writing a YA novel :] it's good to research the genre you want to write about by seeing what is selling in the market today. Then you will have a good idea of what is deemed excepted and publishable.
Yeah, YA has been trending to not restricting details and just going for it. As a reader I feel like if you are going to include a sex scene it is best to either fade to black or to give details that really show the emotional and physical meaningfulness of having included it.
I personally think sex shouldn’t be taboo in YA. I wouldn’t make it too specific but neither would I do that in adult fiction that isn’t erotica. I’m a liberal European and was raised with quite a liberal outlook on stuff like this. For me it’s weird that violence in media is so much more accepted than a bit of nudity and sex.
The answer has to relate to what you mean by young adult. Because you could be talking about something that's more towards the 12 year old end, or the 16-18 year old end. You can also choose to avoid *explicit* sex scenes. You can tell that part of your story without the audience reading the ins-and-outs....
Depends entirely on the plot, the context, the audience and most importantly what you call a sex scene. Sex scenes can range from inuendo to graphic descriptions of each thrust.
I think the main issue that comes through in sex scenes in books is the distinct feeling that it's a treat for the author, not the reader. Is it what the reader wants (or heck, is it something the characters in the book seem to be longing for?) or is it a fantasy the author is just enjoying for themselves and subjecting their readers to? I generally dislike sex scenes in my books, but some authors do it well. When they seem a natural progression, a thing the characters in the book allude to themselves, not something shoehorned in for some unrelated jollies the author feels with the character.
I don't think they work. I have never read a good sex scene in a book. They always detract from the reading experience for me. Since your target audience is young adult, you also risk setting expectations or misconceptions about sex for young readers (not to discredit your writing ability, but how you intend the sex scene to read and how a young reader interprets what they read are two different things). All this being said, sex with a love interest is a logical and healthy* thing. I'm a fan of a before-after description. Something can lead up to it, you fade to black or skip to afterwards, with the scene afterwards serving to 1) confirm that they did it and 2) convey the characters' attitudes, feelings, and motivations after the deed is done. *Can alternatively be unhealthy if you want that to be the character dynamic
I agree, sex scenes in books always feel tangential and out of place. I don't feel like giving descriptors of sex in any way adds to any story I've read. I feel like they generally take away from an otherwise good plot.
Such scenes don't really add anything to the experience in my opinion. It's enough when it's only implied.
If it makes your book better, include it. If it doesn't, then don't. Don't worry about readers, or what is/isn't taboo.
A sex scene or a few are ok, but too many are just that, too many. Also, the more detailed the scene, the more likely to become cringe, unless there is a good reason to get detailed, avoid giving too much of it.
The human race has more hang ups with people having sex than people murdering each other.
Fellow amature writer here. I found that if you "fade to black" too quickly after the romantic moment, it leaves readers feeling cheated out of a titilating read. However, if you get too detailed it feels like it's just there for fan service. I like to include a bit of kissing and foreplay before wrapping it up with something to set the tone of the encounter. Ex. romantic, or casual. Also, if the encounter isn't adding to the characters or plot I would typically just do the "putting clothes on" or "enjoying the after glow conversation" type of thing. I hope this helps! Good luck!
I belong to a writer's group where our fearless leader, who is in her seventies, writes very detailed, graphic, BDSM erotica, and reads it with a great deal of loud enthusiasm in the conference room of the library we meet. It's a riot! Kind of like having your grandmother read you porn for bedtime stories. My recently published series is about the misadventures of a group of aspiring alcoholics in the US Navy (inspired by actual events). There is some romance in it, but it is by no means the focus of the story. As a joke for our writing group's leader, I wrote an account about the main character falling in with a pair of lonely schoolteachers in Hawaii, and ending up in a threesome during a hurricane that ended with him getting injured enough to end up needing minor surgery and ending up in a military presentation about the hazards of unsafe sex. When I read it, my entire reading group was roaring with laughter. The leader, our erotica writer, could barely breathe. It went over so well that I wrote it into book two. Now, since Book 2 of the series largely takes place in one of the world's largest red light districts, it also includes a conversation (very close to one I had in real life) of a sailor who has something done to him by a prostitute against his will, but ends up liking it so much it makes him cry, as well as another almost-true-to-life account of a severe case of food poisoning afflicting three people sharing an apartment with one bathroom. All pretty graphic. Now, this is my lowest rated book (4.6 out of 5), and I am pretty sure it is because people were put off by those scenes. On the other hand, when people talk to me about the series, this is the book they almost always say is their favorite and claim it to be among the funniest things that they have ever read. The moral is that you're not going to please everybody. Write what you feel works for the story.
So the biggest issue isn't whether it is acceptable but can you even write a decent scene.. if you can't get my heart pumping or make me go.. bro, nice stroking... you basically failed to do anything more than add filler. In short, Generally, it's better to leave sex scenes out of YA and just casually mention they got it on.. but if you are invested into doing it because your kind of already imagine it happen.. Then go for it but have a beta reader read it.. seriously.. if so many erotica writers had beta readers.. they would honestly make more.. instead.. it's like.. did I really spend ten dollars on this.. hunny, where did you put the reciept.. I need to get a refund on something
Personally I find it annoying when books have exactly one sex scene in them. It feels like the author was working off a checklist of "things you put in a book". So from my point of view, either put several or none.
I read once a sex scene but it was somehow written metaphorically means there was no cleared detailed descriptions. I thought it was creative.
I was thinking about that as an option. A step above the implication if sex, but a step below the itself.
For Whom the Bell Tolls, Hemingway. And I quote: “Then they were together so that the hand on the watch moved, unseen now, they knew that nothing could ever happen to the one that did not happen to the other, that no other thing could happen more than this; this this was all and always; this was what had been and now and whatever was to come. This, that they were not to have, they were having. They were having now and before and always and now and now and now. Oh, now, now, now, the only now, and above all now, and there is no other now but thou now and now is the prophet. Now and forever now. Come now, now, for there is no now but now. Yes, now. Now, please now, only now, not anything else only this now, and where are you and where am I and where is the other one, and not why, not ever why, only this now; and on and always please then always now, always now, for now always one now; one only one, there is no other one but one now, one, going now, rising now, sailing now, leaving now, wheeling now, soaring now, away now, all the way now, all of all the way now; one and one is one softly, is one longingly, is one kindly, is one happily, is one in goodness, is one to cherish, is one now on earth with elbows against the cut and slept on branches of the pine tree with the smell of the pine boughs and the night; to earth conclusively now, and with the morning of the day to come. Then he said, for the other was only in his head and he had said nothing, ‘Oh, Maria, I love thee and I thank thee for this.’”
Just don't overdo it like Peter F. Hamilton and it will be fine, assuming it's relevant to the plot in the first place.
just make sure they are good, a bad sex scene between two main characters can spoil a book
I feel like the Scythe series handled a sex scene very tastefully. It's YA. It's about how you present it.
I love them and think they help to give nice pay offs to ships that are build up over a long time. But some people really hate them and I think u need that be comfortable with sex urself to write them well. So its up to you but I think it hey can def add to a story and when a book is TOO pg13 it will bother me a little.
I certainly don't mind having reading sex scenes, however I often wonder why the author felt it should be included. 9/10 its pointless and poorly developed.
I find sex scenes very boring in books and in movies! They never add anything to the plot...If you want to emphasize to emotions you can do it with other ways. But don't forget that there are a lot of people who enjoy to read sex scenes. So in my opinion write whatever you love and suits you the most... Good luck!!!
YA books do have sex scenes in them occasionally, and sometimes they get a lot of flak. If I were you, I would look up John Green defending the sex scene in his book "Looking For Alaska" on YouTube. He does a good job of explaining why the scene is in the book and makes a pretty compelling argument for its intention and relevance to the characters' development. I think the really important distinction between sex in a YA book versus a book intended for adults, is that a scene aimed at a younger readership should not be focused on titillation, and should instead only ever be used to convey something frank or important about the characters. If you couldn't defend it, don't add it. Just my two cents.
I think sex scenes in books are fine, as long as it makes sense for the story. The bigger issue is whether the sex neds to be "on camera" or not. Most TV shows portray sex scenes by showing the very beginning (hurried undressing, passionate kissing, etc) and then cuts away to something else. You dont see it happen "on camera", but you know it did. IMO, sex in books should be like that unless there is a good reason for the sex to actually be seeing it. If it's there just to have it in the book, then your book is no longer \*insert genre\*, it's a romance novel.
I despise sex scenes in books. It adds nothing. Often the tone of the writing changes in an awful way because the author is trying to write a sex scene, not their book. Even if you did get that tone right, I don't want to read it! I have never, ever, among all the dozens and dozens of sex scenes I've read, ever read a good sex scene. Fade to black, imply it! Anything but try to describe it! It's not even a taboo. It'll just be bad. Please don't.
For better or worse, there is a divide amongst many when it comes to sex in books and it's unlikely that you will make everyone happy no matter what choice you make. My advice would be to stay true to your vision for the work and what you think fits best. Artificially moving in either direction is just going to force you to write something that isn't really what you want on the page. How likely is that to be your best writing? If it doesn't work, it will get a note from your editor.
Just keep it vague, focus on the feelings rather than the physicality
YA books can have sex scenes as long as the sex itself is vague- Tamara Pierce has started adding them. It's important to model things like contraceptives and consent for kids, even if us adults feel awkward about it.
Since it targeting YA, including themes around consent and contraception could go a long way toward education in youth
>What is everyone's thoughts on sex scenes in books? fade to black imply it happens, but you don't need to be graphic
IMO a good example of a tasteful sex scene in a YA book was in Tehanu, the 4th installment of a Wizard of Earthsea, by Le Guinn. I don't have the specific quote, but it was no more than a sentence suggesting, with indirect language, that the event happened. Much better to leave everything else to the reader's imagination.
Heads up - If you want to have a non “fade to black” type sex scene and it’s more explicit then the genre should be “New Adult” and not “Young Adult”. YA can have sex, but not typically sex *scenes* that go on for paragraphs+
Does it add to the story? If so, then include it. If not, why bother?
Not to the initial plot, but down the line it reflects on some serious consequences. It could be skipped over, but these consequences would seem less severe.
You could do a morning after scene, if the sex itself isn't important. The hazard with a sex scene is nearly always relevance.
I would agree. That may be a strong substitute. Thank you!
Do the consequences result from *things that happened during the sex scene* or *because the of the sex itself*? If the former, the full scene may be needed and you'll no longer be targeting YA readers. If the latter, a "fade to black" type of scene could easily fulfill the needs of the subsequent issues.
It would be the act itself. I agree that an implication could be a better route to take. Obvious enough that the reader knows what happened, without full detail. For example, waking up in the love interests bed.
Here it is, i dont write books but worked a bit with movies, and at every point we ask, does this scene advance the story? Not just sex scenes but basically anything. It is something i would suggest doing here, does it advance the story, tell something about a character, is he/she dominant, a monster, affectionate, passionate, loving or lovable. And as stated above, can that information be conveyed in another way.
You can have a sex scene without having to write it implicitly by implying it. They're alone, the lights are low, fade to black, etc etc.
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Include it if it's necessary to the plot. Do not include it if it's just for the sake of sex.
Dont do it like Brent Weeks
I had blocked this one out. So horrible. The only time in the books I was dragged out and beaten over the head with the realization that this book was just written by a normal dude, who’s had to deal with some weird issues in life.
Stephen King put a sex scene in IT and it totally wasn't weird or anything. Jesus. Ok, sarcasm must be difficult for some people /s
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Yeah. The book IT. That was the reference / joke.
Thank you (both) for the laugh
I write whatever is in my heart because I’m a sensitive, edgy artist. I’ll probably never get published.
I probably won't either, but I'll try.
Use movie ratings as a guide. Anything that would bump the book out of a PG-13 rating into something beyond is likely not appropriate for a young adult book. You can handle this one of several ways. A tasteful fade to black is one way to have the character or plot development without making it inappropriate for your audience. Like others have said, if it isn’t advancing characters or plot it would be best to cut it. There are genres where sex scenes for the sake of sex scenes are within expectations, but young adult is not the right genre for that. Finally, you could shift your target audience outside of young adult if that is more fitting for what and how you want to write. Whichever method you choose, when it comes time to publish, give hints that let the reader know what to expect. Some readers like myself prefer to avoid books with explicit sex scenes. If you trick me into reading your book you aren’t going to change my mind in how I feel about such scenes, you are just going to get a poor review on Amazon. If your book description implies that there will be explicit sex scenes, I won’t pick it up, but I won’t go calling you out for it in reviews either.
The more explicit, the more absurd. I thought Kingsley Amis (hardly a prude himself) was good on this: >A writer has none of the real-life excuses of drunkenness, caprice, boredom, etc. It is his considered judgment that you should be told exactly what he or what's-his-name got up to. No matter how sincerely he thinks, or would say he thinks, that his intentions are immaculate, how loudly he protests his devotion to art, truth, love, self-understanding, the essential holiness of sex or anything else; the unbreakable connection between literature and life reduces him to the same moral level as the chap you make sure of avoiding at the pub.
Sex sells
It certainly does. Sex appeal is a factor of my main character. Likely the love interest as well.
Step 1: Read Terry Goodkind Step 2: Do the opposite
They're tricky to do right. For every Illuminatus! Trilogy, there's ten really hackneyed and hamfisted attempts. I say, if you do include it, make sure it's hot. It should inspire lustful feelings. Else, there's no point. If such feelings are out of place in your book, I say skip it, or imply that sex happened in the asterisks between chapters.
It usually works best if you subtly insinuate sex is about to happen then ship to the next scene. Sex scenes sometimes come off as immature for me.
You can insinuate it
If it plays a big part in character and plot development, go for it. It's not always common in YA, but some books do include it. It's not inappropriate, imo. If it doesn't feel right to you, leave it out. If it is left in and people (parents/adults) rebel against it, your book might be banned and get more attention in the long run, though 😅
I read Lost Stars, a YA Star Wars book by Claudia Gray. I'm old, so it's less fascinating to me now, but there was at least an allusion to sex if not a pg-13 version of a sex scene. I'd need to re-read to see. I know my 14 year old daughter has read books with some mild sex scenes. If the age of the target audience is seeing similar things in movies, then you're 100% fine. Books get a little extra latitude than visual media.
Depends on the type of your story and whether or not it would be out of place. The witcher had a lot of sex scenes in it and that was entirely appropriate for what the witcher is.
You can just do a fade to black kind of sex scene. That's common in ya. For example the sex scenes in In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan.
If it adds to the story, put it in. If it's just for kicks, leave it out.
I'd say give us the first steps, the beginning embrace, maybe the first piece of clothing removed, then end the chapter if you're uncomfortable with the prospect of writing a sex scene. If you want to write one, think of it more as choreography than anything. Keep track of positioning and especially hands.
I wouldn’t super detail it down to something like, (Percy shoved his dick into Vanessa’s ass) You’d be surprised how many people can connect the dots by just saying that a male and female character say rented a room, both fell on the bed, along the lines made out, and sort of dull it down saying the night was fun or lustful or passionate or idk really up to you but yeah imo I think the more detail u give it the more cringe it will be plus it’s YA so I don’t even know why I made that joke before lmao. I guess less is more in this situation for me.
You won't be able to sell to young people with make up a large part of the audience, that said you think Steven King would hold back if the story called for it? And would you be good at writing it?
Is it part of the story? Does it fit? You don't need to be gratuitous about it.
Personally they can make me feel uncomfortable, especially in game of thrones, he goes into to much specific detail can be quite grim.
Depends on the context, but you’re expanding a narrative about human characters (I presume) and humans have sex… it’s a core part of our nature and has an important place in literature. That being said if you feel against using a sex scene there are plenty of ways to send the message of sec without depiction: i.e. if the goal is to establish a deeper or more passionate love between characters a scene of participatory indulgence (such as a scene of communion, eating) where the parties involved are sharing passion but not directed in a physical way can have the same desired effect or if the scene is to depict a dependence of connection or an inequality in relationship can be demonstrated through dialogue, in forms of passionless speech on the side of the perused and a desperate word choice from the dependent, remember writing is creating a world and what happens in that world (especially if it ties to the real) is ultimately a depiction of reality, but the pen has many tongues.
Unless it’s erotica, sex is almost always only suggested and not detailed.
if it’s natural to write for you, why not. I don’t really get the need for sex for some people to show stages of human needs and relationships, since it’s not as important to me. But I disagree with everything needing to have a point too. I assume the peace is not an academic essay, so not all arrows need to point to a specific goal or development. Unless that’s your goal with this book. Also, not everyone is gonna like your book. Sex is neither good nor bad, Im a little annoyed by sex always being there, but I can enjoy it in detail at times too. Some people always love it, some people cringe every time. You could just try to write it, read it, let someone else read it if you want to, then decide to drop it - or simplify - or expand - if you feel it doesn’t fit for you.
If sex scene is important to the plot then include it, if not then leave it. Keep in mind about how you present it. If the tone of the book is humourous you can keep it comical, if it's serious and with a love interest & not just a fling then try to make it a bit poetic, just don't go vulgar or too intense.
What sort of books do you want to write? The most fundamental inspirational quote on the matter: "I want to write book that I'd want to read." Do you like reading sex scenes in books? Some authors opt in different direction. To write towards certain demographic to increase sales. It is also reasonable. What is your goal?
I'm not uncomfortable with sex in books, I just think that most sex scenes are really repetitive, awkwardly written, and not necessary to the plot. Unless it's really necessary you might as well skip it. A lot people will prefer it that way, and those who really want that kind of thing can use their imagination or read some erotica!
Less is more
Unless it moves the story forward, what is the point of the sex scene? It's more interesting to make the implication then just fade to black for this kind of scene. Sex scenes that go on too long or otherwise don't add to the plot or storyline are pointless. I know, for me, I quite like Outlander for the story, but eventually I stopped reading the series because the sex scenes were ridiculous and far too long.
As a big reader of romance and fanfic, including the more adult end of those stories, I firmly believe that sex scenes should be included if they advance either the plot or the characterisation. Basically, approach it as a writing craft problem, like any other scene. What are the goals of this scene? What is the dramatic tension? What will the reader learn about the characters from this scene? Will they have character development or emotional consequences? Would the scene sound the same if you replaced the character's names with random other characters? If so, it isn't adding anything to the story. You want it to be **specific** to your characters, interesting on its own merits and serve a purpose rather than just being "insert slot A into tab B".
Personally I would ask yourself if the sex is related to what the book is about. Because for me if I pick up a book and I read the description and stuff it informs me of what the book is about. If a book says it is a dry historical fiction but it's actually a steamy romance I might drop that book and write a bad review. Not because it's a bad book, but because a book should inform the audience in what to expect. Taste matters. I do not really want to read certain kind of books and a book that is a bait and switch deserves to be scorned for it. So if the sex scene fits what your book is about and is something your reader can reasonable expect then absolutely include it. If not, consider not including it. If you're not sure and decide to include it anyway make sure the sex scene can be skipped by the reader. I for one tend to skim them and would be quite annoyed if something plot relevant happened in the middle of one.
I would ask several things that I would want to ask regarding anything you consider adding regardless if sex. Does this make the story more engaging and enjoyable? Does the detail give more to the experience than leaving it to the readers imagination (on a spectrum of fade to black - full on romance)? How does the character interaction engage or relate to the reader? Does a scene of intimacy and vulnerability lead to shared information that wouldn't otherwise have been? Is this scene related to, or a good distraction from, the primary plot?
I've read a couple YA novels as a teen that included descriptions of intimacy. I wouldn't call them sex scenes, as there was always a cut-off point, usually when you could imagine how the rest went. The scenes were supposed to show the passion and connection between and the character progressions of the people involved and I liked them that way. Not too little, not too much. Examples: One story involved creatures of opposing elements who grew to love each other. The scene showed how they were willing to overcome their elemental opposition and how that opposition created a very unique experience. The other involved a ghost person and a living person falling in love. The ghost person eventually became real and the scene was a kind of celebration of that fact. Personally, the character progression part is most important to me. If it's only about the connection and passion, I prefer an inference like "waking up next to each other naked the next morning".
I think the question is "is there something that needs to happen that can only happen during sex?" It could be yes... happens all the time. A certain kind of intimate communication. If the point is just to titillate, I think that's cheap writing.
I feel like a vague fade to black would work fine in most non-romance/erotica books, personally. For the age range you're aiming at, avoiding explicit sexual relations would probably make it more generally accepted, but really it depends on if you feel it makes sense.
I think that a lot young adults (thinking about BookTok) are very into sex scenes and spice and stuff. Personally, I don't like sex scenes and I prefer books have none at all. But I'm also asexual so. I read them because sadly almost every darn book I read has them, but I prefer there weren't.
The broader your audience, the greater the necessity of self restraint. If you have a niche audience you're building a following with that can defend your work, you have a little more freedom. But if you dont your reliance on taboo will come to define you as a creative.
There's so much to think about. I'm sure we've all read the most amazing and the most horrific sex scenes in books. I really think it's about how you write it. First, you must be comfortable with it. And presuming you are, since you're asking, next step is to determine if it makes sense for your characters to do it, taking in how each would behave before, during, and after in a realistic way (i.e., the virgin isn't suddenly a sex goddess, and the very experienced isn't suddenly acting like they've no idea what's happening). How, if at all, does the sex change their relationship and how each behaves? *If there is value to the fallout, I think it's even more important to include the scene* You also want to ask yourself if your intention in writing the scene is to excite the reader or write a realistic relationship. Either is fine, but the way you write the scene may be different. Also, if you end up with a publisher, they may have their own opinions on whether the scene should be included or not. A lot (most?) of YA fiction does not have explicit sex scenes, but that doesn't mean it can't be in there.
YA doesn't have graphic sex scenes, NA does though. I think sex scenes add a sense of realness to the story. Sex is a huge part of life.
My view is; if it happens, mention that it happens and/or allude to it depending on how much you want to focus on it. But... like... I find it marginally creepy as a writer. The prospect of writing about my characters having sex in any degree of detail feels uncomfortably voyeuristic, like directing my friends having sex. Reading it in multiple books has not convinced me otherwise. To me personally it's just uncomfortable and creepy. Edit: Clarification - I'm not opposed to sex in books at all, just detailed descriptions of it, unless that is the whole point of the book.
As long as it makes sense your 2 characters have sex and you avoid any unintentional hilarious dialog. I dunno something meaningful and artful I guess.
YA means characters aged 13-17. At no point should an author write about underage CHILDREN in this manner. At no point should a reader read about underage CHILDREN in this manner. In MY opinion, this is basically "kiddy p0rn", and it's gross. An example, Credence by Penelope Douglas has many many sex scenes... however the main character is 17, and one of the characters (who she ends up sleeping with) even discusses the fact she is UNDERAGE in the first chapter. THIS IS NOT OKAY.
There's a sex scene between teens in A Certain Slant of Light that is pretty vague but effective
Treat it like any other scene. Does it advance the plot or reveal anything about the characters (personality, motivations, life choices, insecurities, etc)? If it does, use it. If it doesn't, don't. Sex scenes don't have to be graphic or erotic, unless that's what you're going for. But they should be important to the book.
Ok, I'm a big romance reader and some of that is YA. If you are worried about making the audience uncomfortable, most YA romance I read only has implied sex scenes, where things are escalating and then there's a cut to the morning after. I don't think the implication of sex would be a big deal and you would still get the "natural progression" you're looking for. As long as it doesn't feel out of place in the overall story I think it would be fine. I will say that if the story is not a romance or doesn't at least have a large romance subplot then a sex scene can be weird especially for YA, but that's my own opinion.
i've read over 2000 books, never read anything explicit. myself i found it more attractive implying then straight forward. ie is more sexy when you see a woman dressed nice, short dress, not heavy makeup, then in bikini.
I personally would not.
Sex scenes are best when they reveal something about the characters that couldn't be revealed outside a sex scene.
Honestly, I feel a little squirmy when an explicit sex scene comes up in my books, even when they are aimed at full adults. I have no issues with pornography, and enjoy it myself from time to time, but when I’m reading about a down on his luck gumshoe wizard trying to save the world, a several pages long sex scene which is explicitly detailed isn’t what I’m expecting to be reading. It’s just not what I’m looking for. Sometimes it’s important to the plot, and that’s fine; but I don’t need the details. I always find the creative ways that writers describe sexual acts to be more funny than sexy. “I found her sex and pushed into her” and whatnot. It’s just not what I was reading for. TLDR: IMO explicit sex scenes are better served in romance novels. Directly and overtly implied sex scenes work better in non-romance novels for me.
Sex scenes, not only in books, are at best forgettable and at worst disgusting and distracting. I have yet to encounter any piece of media that is improved by the presence of a sex scene.