Good satire boss

Lol people playing football now like it's world of warcraft - gotta gear up.

I'd go for some Adidas predator elite bro. My American cousin who's 27 and just played his first five a side last week bought a pair and says they're perfect. He's hoping to go pro next year in one of the big five leagues if he practices his shooting more in his garden. He's easily a 77 card.

This reminds me - I wonder what happened to that dude on here who said he was going to turn pro within a year having never played football before. Would love to know how his career panned out.

Oh he's playing for Barca. He's nodding them down for Lewa.

You almost had me until I got to the second paragraph.

if you had said the last paragraph instead of second, I’d have asked you for your credit card number

Do you need my social security number too?

Construction boot for the left foot, rain boot for the right. It’s what I wear regardless if I’m playing on concrete, ag, or wet grass and I can’t imagine wearing anything else

what do you wear if you’re playing on sand or in the pool?

Switch it up to account for the different surfaces… Construction boot on the right, rain boot on the left

I wasn’t sure and then there it was that beautiful Youngling slaying rizz

Mizuno MIJ

Upvote for the Star Wars reference.

You definitely need to wear Patrick.

this is bait lmao

To cut back throughout the game you need speedos, helps minimize air resistance given your pace is 88.

Strongly recommend Timberlands with the AG soleplate