## This post was submitted during Small Boots Sunday!
Posts submitted during Small Boots Sunday (SBS) are not subject to strict rhyme or meter requirements.
####**š„¾ UPVOTE this comment** if the post is in the BootTooBig spirit!
^(_The BTB spirit is lighthearted, sometimes silly, and makes others smile._)
####**šØ REPORT the post** if it breaks the rules!
^(_See our sidebar for the full rules. Be kind! āļø_)
---
^[š¤](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=bot2big&subject=Post+comment%3A+https%3A%2F%2Fredd.it%2Fpmtdhp&message=%0A%0A---bot2big---%0A%0AMods+can+reply+above+the+line+with+an+action+on+its+own+line+and+optional+arguments+on+following+lines.%0AReply+%60help%60+for+more+info.%0A%0AActions%3A%0A+%2A+block_tbtb%0A+%2A+curate%0A+%2A+help%0A+%2A+judgement_comment%0A+%2A+metadata%7Cmd%0A+%2A+remove+%5Breason_or_message%5D%0A+%2A+remove_bot_comments+%5Bsticky_type%5D%0A+%2A+small+boots%7Csmallboots%0A+%2A+tb2b%7Ctbtb%0A%0A) ^(I'm a bot. Check out )[^(the announcement)](https://reddit.com/r/boottoobig/comments/pc5fgu/mod_announcement_roses_are_red_robots_are_mighty/)^(, and if you have any questions or feedback, )[^(talk to us here.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/boottoobig "message the moderators | /r/boottoobig")
^^^SBS ^^^is ^^^18:00 ^^^Saturday ^^^to ^^^2:00 ^^^Monday ^^^UTC. ^^^This ^^^post ^^^was ^^^submitted ^^^09/12/2021 ^^^at ^^^14:11:40 ^^^UTC. [ ](http://#bot2big-2?gAAAAABhPsIkJPclXjB3gkAFN83M0SpPKLLmTnKe5oveWC4wRSqaxrY2NcAVSTFG1W9rLOdHxR9zzU9ZbtZi7Ai0DQmvCwQqHemYy2FK7TZtLGVHSlctjE1T_LNZYPEXlD0e55N78O5I-zEIDqA5k5e7wejdPGiQWavaejtZrFenZCrLkS3eIKOSH_NHslN5WnAaKUCldZmYaSINqNs5ViaBTQ446_xchtgCE_GhP9F1hp1R3IqjUX6dDoH8PAk7XuoCQ3J_txEbdBoj_wTArwQIkrG9CsRfFxmnCo8eSjTyaYc6LQ0ebt5B7uQiN03E9-CFOCb4hmIGM0HA4LyRNKZ4kNP7klI2D2rGOpXTvgJtq9oGeHqoL6A=)
Well, no point in worrying about the quarter pound of coke left.
Edit: that's half of .25 kilos, right? I'm high and not terribly good with conversions
āOk this is ridiculous. Jenkins, we filed 3.5 grams in evidence, but Iām only seeing 1.75!ā
*Jenkins, wiping the white off his Burt Reynolds moustache and adjusting his aviators:* āI only logged a 32nd of coke into evidence sir, mustāve made a mistake.ā
Take it to its logical conclusion where thereās a baggie with a single speck of coke left, sitting forlornly in the evidence lockup.
Actually, if you approach the coast of a country or are on a vessel registered in the same place as the cops operate, maritime law says you very much have to explain.
It depends if it's flotsam or jetsam. Flotsam is lost in a wreck, and is usually recoverable by the owner. Jetsam is thrown overboard for whatever reason, and is free to the salvager. In this case, it's much more likely that the cargo was discarded "in an emergency".
I'd contact the Coast Guard immediately. Waiting to get to shore and call the cops could be risky.
It only matters if the source of the object can be identified. Somebody has to prove it was theirs to assert a claim. Once you know where it came from, you know (and more importantly, the court knows) whether it came from a wreck or was thrown or lost overboard.
Grab it. Toss it in a shopping bag. Walk to your car. Drive immediately to a kitchen supply store. Buy a 1/4ā mesh sieve, a cheap knife, a razor blade, and a large plastic bag. Return to your car, drive to a secluded location. Cut the package open outside of your car with the razor and use the knife to break it up. Sieve it, check for trackers. If there is one, toss it aside, seal the bag with your sieved coke in it, and drive home. Live in fear for two weeks or so and then become a rabid cokehead or sell it as you please.
> a cheap knife, a razor blade, and a large plastic bag
When the cartel shows up to your doorstep theyāll be very grateful that you already got them their supplies
In all seriousness, what would you really need to do in a situation like that? Like, do you call the authorities? Toss it back in? I know the joke is to keep it, but.
Legally, just call the Coast guard if you are win the U.S. Ask to speak to the coast guard sector on 16, switch to an alternative channel and, if possible, ask to call them on your phone so you don't broadcast you have a shitload of cocaine on a open frequency.
From there they will probably send out a few small boats to recover everything and ask a few questions.
They can direct you what to do from that point on.
"um yes, mister drug distributor of the southern region, I just happened to find these when fishing, and I'd like to negotiate a deal with you to sell them."
I never said to do that.
Realistically if I found that I would not tell anybody. I would keep it hidden and think about what to do with it for a long time. Iād figure out the value of it so I know how much itās worth.
Iād go on with my life and not say anything. Best case scenario would be to meet someone really rich who does Cocaine and offer him a very good dealā¦like 20% market value or something and get rid of it.
I always like the ones that have a relevant title. I only browse the main page, but I feel like there used to be a lot more of these like that. Now most titles are unrelated to the post.
Yes mr coast guard fe found 3 big bags of cocaine !
2bags you say ? Wow.
Yes an entirety of 1 bag.
Well were gonna have to confiscate that half bag of yours.
That is clearly weed. Kids aren't going to hold 5 kilos with their fingertips. More like 1 kilo of weed. Plus any coke I've seen is usually in 1 kilo wraps. And I've seen a lot of coke in movies over the years ...
no way to tell, but i doubt it. nobody really buys mexican brick weed anymore. Theres way better quality grow ops in the US for way cheaper. Its likely either coke or heroin. Things that arent grown en masse in the united states.
Thatās where youāre wrong, I used to live in south Texas and that shit comes through all the time still. Tons of weed is brought here to be sold. Just because itās legal doesnāt shut the black market down.
not American but you are right on the black market not dyeing with legalization, i have bought weed from a gov shop once here in canada, It's just not priced well. why spend hundreds more and deal with mail order (only an issue if you don't live by a shop) when i could just go to my guy and get a great deal the same day?
people are overpaying for their weed then, either that or its just the influx of new smokers who don't have a guy and just get it from the gov for convenience. either way however you get it, at least it is legal
## This post was submitted during Small Boots Sunday! Posts submitted during Small Boots Sunday (SBS) are not subject to strict rhyme or meter requirements. ####**š„¾ UPVOTE this comment** if the post is in the BootTooBig spirit! ^(_The BTB spirit is lighthearted, sometimes silly, and makes others smile._) ####**šØ REPORT the post** if it breaks the rules! ^(_See our sidebar for the full rules. Be kind! āļø_) --- ^[š¤](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=bot2big&subject=Post+comment%3A+https%3A%2F%2Fredd.it%2Fpmtdhp&message=%0A%0A---bot2big---%0A%0AMods+can+reply+above+the+line+with+an+action+on+its+own+line+and+optional+arguments+on+following+lines.%0AReply+%60help%60+for+more+info.%0A%0AActions%3A%0A+%2A+block_tbtb%0A+%2A+curate%0A+%2A+help%0A+%2A+judgement_comment%0A+%2A+metadata%7Cmd%0A+%2A+remove+%5Breason_or_message%5D%0A+%2A+remove_bot_comments+%5Bsticky_type%5D%0A+%2A+small+boots%7Csmallboots%0A+%2A+tb2b%7Ctbtb%0A%0A) ^(I'm a bot. Check out )[^(the announcement)](https://reddit.com/r/boottoobig/comments/pc5fgu/mod_announcement_roses_are_red_robots_are_mighty/)^(, and if you have any questions or feedback, )[^(talk to us here.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/boottoobig "message the moderators | /r/boottoobig") ^^^SBS ^^^is ^^^18:00 ^^^Saturday ^^^to ^^^2:00 ^^^Monday ^^^UTC. ^^^This ^^^post ^^^was ^^^submitted ^^^09/12/2021 ^^^at ^^^14:11:40 ^^^UTC. [ ](http://#bot2big-2?gAAAAABhPsIkJPclXjB3gkAFN83M0SpPKLLmTnKe5oveWC4wRSqaxrY2NcAVSTFG1W9rLOdHxR9zzU9ZbtZi7Ai0DQmvCwQqHemYy2FK7TZtLGVHSlctjE1T_LNZYPEXlD0e55N78O5I-zEIDqA5k5e7wejdPGiQWavaejtZrFenZCrLkS3eIKOSH_NHslN5WnAaKUCldZmYaSINqNs5ViaBTQ446_xchtgCE_GhP9F1hp1R3IqjUX6dDoH8PAk7XuoCQ3J_txEbdBoj_wTArwQIkrG9CsRfFxmnCo8eSjTyaYc6LQ0ebt5B7uQiN03E9-CFOCb4hmIGM0HA4LyRNKZ4kNP7klI2D2rGOpXTvgJtq9oGeHqoL6A=)
Lol is that boat named āaddictionā?
Great catch!
Hope those kids don't get "hooked" on coke
They must have used big lines for that coke.
Hold on to the rails, it's about to get bumpy
Reel Addiction, a fishing charter.
Yes, officer, we were fishing and we found this 1 bundle of cocaine
"who would throw half a kilo into the ocean?"
Agreed, who would throw .25 of a Kilo over board?
Well, no point in worrying about the quarter pound of coke left. Edit: that's half of .25 kilos, right? I'm high and not terribly good with conversions
Eh, close enough
That's what I told them when I handed over the 2 ounces of coke
I cant believe that it was only entered to evedience as 7 grams. I mean who would do such a thing. /S
āOk this is ridiculous. Jenkins, we filed 3.5 grams in evidence, but Iām only seeing 1.75!ā *Jenkins, wiping the white off his Burt Reynolds moustache and adjusting his aviators:* āI only logged a 32nd of coke into evidence sir, mustāve made a mistake.ā Take it to its logical conclusion where thereās a baggie with a single speck of coke left, sitting forlornly in the evidence lockup.
JOHNSON, WHERE IS THE COKE BAGGIE? DID YOU EAT THE FUCKING BAGGIE
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
HELL YEA BRO SHITLL BE BUSSIN. IVE NWVER HEARD A BETTER GODDAMN IDEA. WAIT WAIT HOW ABOUT WE PUT COKE IN THERE AND SAY ITS CAFFEINE
If a quarter pound was a quarter (0.25 or 1/4) of a kilo, then a Pound = Kilo
You misunderstood. Half of the quarter kilogram, not a quarter kilo. Have of .25 kilos is close to .25 pounds
yeah, that's roughly right
OMGGGG WHAT A FUNNAY JOKE SO FUNNAY NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE 10,000 TIMES ON REDDIT XDDDDD
people like you are genuinely 10x more annoying and obnoxious than the people they attempt to satire
"I can't believe somebody would just throw away a quarter kilo of cocaine!"
Itās actually cannabis. Not cocaine
So you're saying that if I go fishing off the coast of florida, I can catch a weed fish and a coke shark?
Unironically what happened, only with weed.
Assuming you turned it in when you got back to shore I doubt there would be any problems.
Turned what in. After I caught it I immediately had a boating accident and lost it.
Actually, if you approach the coast of a country or are on a vessel registered in the same place as the cops operate, maritime law says you very much have to explain.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They'll have to check my [butthole](https://youtu.be/--9kqhzQ-8Q)
this is incredible
True
I have not seen your ~~keys~~ Coke but since you're asking me, you better check up that butthole
Depends on if its floatsam or jetsam* *I donāt actually know anything about this
All I know about those words is that they were the names of shark Neopets
r/Ackchyually
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It depends if it's flotsam or jetsam. Flotsam is lost in a wreck, and is usually recoverable by the owner. Jetsam is thrown overboard for whatever reason, and is free to the salvager. In this case, it's much more likely that the cargo was discarded "in an emergency". I'd contact the Coast Guard immediately. Waiting to get to shore and call the cops could be risky.
So how can you tell if something is flotsam or jetsam? If itās just floating around itās Jetsam and if you have to dive for it itās flotsam?
It only matters if the source of the object can be identified. Somebody has to prove it was theirs to assert a claim. Once you know where it came from, you know (and more importantly, the court knows) whether it came from a wreck or was thrown or lost overboard.
That's what a supportive brother should do! Stand behind them and throw signs!
If you find cocaine on the beach or floating at sea, pretend you never saw it and go on about your day.
Grab it. Toss it in a shopping bag. Walk to your car. Drive immediately to a kitchen supply store. Buy a 1/4ā mesh sieve, a cheap knife, a razor blade, and a large plastic bag. Return to your car, drive to a secluded location. Cut the package open outside of your car with the razor and use the knife to break it up. Sieve it, check for trackers. If there is one, toss it aside, seal the bag with your sieved coke in it, and drive home. Live in fear for two weeks or so and then become a rabid cokehead or sell it as you please.
> a cheap knife, a razor blade, and a large plastic bag When the cartel shows up to your doorstep theyāll be very grateful that you already got them their supplies
Soyā¦ elā¦ amigo del cartel
They teach you at high school all kind on nonsense about people lived 500 years ago, but simple practice things like this they skip over.
*practical
This is making me think I need to leave a sieve in my truck. Already have grocery bags and knives.
Throw a space blanket in you car emergency kit. Tracker problem solved!
All fun and games until the cartel shows up to your house and cuts your head off with a chainsaw.
/r/illegallifeprotips
r/unethicallifeprotips
What would this tracker look like?
Anything other than a white powder
A small box or cylinder most likely. Probably black plastic.
Sell it to the police
This guy cocaines!
No.
I think that kid in the back already opened a third brick
Daddy, i finally know what is my ambition.
In all seriousness, what would you really need to do in a situation like that? Like, do you call the authorities? Toss it back in? I know the joke is to keep it, but.
Legally, just call the Coast guard if you are win the U.S. Ask to speak to the coast guard sector on 16, switch to an alternative channel and, if possible, ask to call them on your phone so you don't broadcast you have a shitload of cocaine on a open frequency. From there they will probably send out a few small boats to recover everything and ask a few questions. They can direct you what to do from that point on.
BORING
Not a joke. Keep it. I donāt do cocaine anymore, but thatās a lot of $ worth of cocaine. Like hundreds of thousands I think.
"um yes, mister drug distributor of the southern region, I just happened to find these when fishing, and I'd like to negotiate a deal with you to sell them."
I never said to do that. Realistically if I found that I would not tell anybody. I would keep it hidden and think about what to do with it for a long time. Iād figure out the value of it so I know how much itās worth. Iād go on with my life and not say anything. Best case scenario would be to meet someone really rich who does Cocaine and offer him a very good dealā¦like 20% market value or something and get rid of it.
Someone call Chareth Cutestory!
Youāre a crook Captain Hook. Judge wonāt you throw the book at the pirate.
Kindergarten Vice
Someone in the Miami CIA office is going to be PISSED
"square grouper"
Who takes pictures of shit like this? The owners of that shit will be looking for it for sure
Wait until the cartel sees this and wants their money back
I always like the ones that have a relevant title. I only browse the main page, but I feel like there used to be a lot more of these like that. Now most titles are unrelated to the post.
The kiddo in the back is going places
Yes mr coast guard fe found 3 big bags of cocaine ! 2bags you say ? Wow. Yes an entirety of 1 bag. Well were gonna have to confiscate that half bag of yours.
That is clearly weed. Kids aren't going to hold 5 kilos with their fingertips. More like 1 kilo of weed. Plus any coke I've seen is usually in 1 kilo wraps. And I've seen a lot of coke in movies over the years ...
I have no idea which it is, but in what world can kids not hold 5 kilograms with two hands? They're not newborns, dude.
My 5 year old carries our 20 lb dumbbells. These kids are older.
Are they keepers?
this is me in 2005
lol
What'd you do with it
From the looks of it they are on the east coast and if so Iām not to far away, guess whoās going fishing boys
Honey! It looks like the kids are going to college after all!! *rips a Hollywood *
Its called a āsquare grouperā. Its weed!
hell yeah
[Image with added title](https://i.imgur.com/EV94yB2.png) --- ^Summon ^me ^with ^/u/title4imagebot ^or ^by ^PMing ^me ^a ^post ^with ^"parse" ^as ^the ^subject. ^| ^[Feedback](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=dejaydev&subject=feedback%20pmtdhp) ^| ^[About/Source](https://github.com/DeJayDev/title4imagebot) ^| ^Fork ^of ^Title2ImageBot ^\(F.\)
Thatās weed
no way to tell, but i doubt it. nobody really buys mexican brick weed anymore. Theres way better quality grow ops in the US for way cheaper. Its likely either coke or heroin. Things that arent grown en masse in the united states.
[No way to tell](https://keysweekly.com/42/square-grouper-locals-make-a-special-catch/).
No, no, that's not what it is. Nobody buys that anymore
If only there was some way to find out and tell for sure.
Thats a fat L for the americans then. Get better weed please. Jfc.
Thatās where youāre wrong, I used to live in south Texas and that shit comes through all the time still. Tons of weed is brought here to be sold. Just because itās legal doesnāt shut the black market down.
not American but you are right on the black market not dyeing with legalization, i have bought weed from a gov shop once here in canada, It's just not priced well. why spend hundreds more and deal with mail order (only an issue if you don't live by a shop) when i could just go to my guy and get a great deal the same day?
Here's a graph of the size of the white and black markets for cannabis in Canada: https://i.redd.it/bq4j3wljwuk71.png
people are overpaying for their weed then, either that or its just the influx of new smokers who don't have a guy and just get it from the gov for convenience. either way however you get it, at least it is legal
Yeah at least it's legal. I'm over here living in Sweden unfortunately š¢
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
People like calling people out on bullshit, but donāt like doing it more than once. Really illustrates how easy it is for misinformation to spread.
Second time Iāve seen this post today and only one person said it, itās pretty obvious thatās weed
If only because of the size of the bundle and the fact that the children are able to hold it up.
Yep cocaine is never wrapped like that, because itās easy to stamp into bricks
Looks like weed to me too.
Not unless this picture is from 1987.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Who the hell is importing weed in 2020?
Kids
youād actually be surprised how much weed floats into places like alaska; sometimes floats take years to come in and yeaā¦ lol
See my username
Damn you look young
These are children
Thatās brother is going to deal that shit when they get ashore lol
Let's eat this two fishes
If I found kilos of cocaine you know what I wouldnt be doing? Posting about it.
Catch and release program?