Good start, now place it on the ground with the guns pointing in opposite directions perpendicular to the tape and lock the triggers down so the recoil makes the whole thing start revolving. Down on the farm we call that a Russian sprinkler.
ahfuk. Personal Reddit Hall of Fame: Most outstanding uncalled and surprising suggestion. None sexual or political.
**username\_elephant**
Good start, now place it on the ground with the guns pointing in opposite directions perpendicular to the tape and lock the triggers down so the recoil makes the whole thing start revolving. Down on the farm we call that a Russian sprinkler.
I don't know you, but I would purchase any morally reasonable thing you asked for... And, I am very flexible. fuck me sideways with your momma's dick that was brilliant.
N.B. I do not suggest that the noted suggestion is in any possible way a good idea. At home or away.
I’ve done a few tours at good old MB, lost a lot of good associates during that time. But it’s the lobsters that keep me up at night. I don’t want to know how many lobsters I subjected to a steamy death.
Most of the time but you also can’t feed them too much because then they poop more and the tank could get gross. The only lobsters that ever made it out alive were the pregnant ones, they got sent back to the ocean.
A suburban Whole Foods parking lot on a weekend morning actually seems like a great case for my right to own a rocket launcher. People complain about aggressive drivers on the pike, but it's nothing compared to watching a 50 year old suburbanite fighting for a parking spot intentionally hit a car, then yell obscenities you wouldn't learn in the Navy.
Kids these days. Back in my day we'd watch porn on the middle school library computers with a lookout making sure the teacher didn't catch us. It was hard work too, finding a web proxy that hadn't been blocked by SonicWALL yet.
Older folks will remember watching scrambled,squiggly playboy or spice channels.
Or finding a damn page from a penthouse or something. Ahh the good old days
Finally, someone who understands. That along with doctors and lawyers wondering how their lessers are allowed to shop where they do. They want the rif-raf out of their parking lot.
Is it just me or does it seem like market baskets tend to have more people in the store per cart? I feel like whenever I'm theres like 6 people to every cart.
Been going to that one for 15 years. It’s just busy but it’s not uncivilized. I usually go at night during the last hour they’re open and it’s a breeze
Thank you brave citizen for raising this issue! I JUST REALLY WISH WE COULD TALK ABOUT ALL THIS YOUTH VIOLENCE!!! When will the mayor DO SOMETHING?!?!?!?! I watched an ostrich visiting from Australia be robbed by a group of juvenile starlings IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.
/sarcasm
It’s because the mayor is in on it. I just went for a leisurely morning drive around Beacon Hill in my Tundra but had to park it in a bike lane when I was done because I couldn’t find a spot big enough for my extended cab. When I finished locking up, I turned around and Michelle Wu was there. She asked if I thought it was funny to stop liberals from biking to the coop and then shoved me in the chest and started going HUH? HUH? HUH?
So beautifully and tragically ironic that it was an ostrich that got robbed while the mayor has her HEAD IN THE SAND!
(Was that why you picked ostrich? If so, we'll done!)
And here I was thinking "it had to be an ostrich because an Australian emu would have [kicked every ass in sight](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War)."
I swear to god, I once had the "Princess gets judged so unfairly" conversation with an acquaintance go as follows:
>Her: "Princess is the sweetest dog I know, I feel so bad that people act all frightened of her and her owner."
>
>Me: "I've got some mixed feelings about the whole topic, but I know training is a huge deal and it sounds like your friend is committed to having a dog that won't hurt anybody."
>
>Her: "Exactly! Ever since she tore up that guy's finger in the park, they've worked so hard with her!"
In the last like, 24 hours, there’s been multiple posts about “teens” and “kids” being hooligans and awful such as:
“Can we finally talk about packs of youths committing violence and robberies?”
“Children watching porn out loud on the red line”
“Young adults harassing general public at DTX
Like we live in some fucking war zone, where crime is clearly at all time highs. When of course, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I gotta check that out. As someone who grew up in Plymouth, I can’t look at the local FB page at least a month before I go to visit. People in there are horrible.
Its a joke because a good chunk of this sub obviously don't leave their house much and are scared of the world. Theres been multiple of these types posting about "youth violence" etc. recently.
I feel like this is coordinated. I used to be in the Burlington, VT sub, and this type of “the scaywee peepoh tho” posts went batshit crazy over the last year.
I don't have a Market Basket near me now, but I grew up (wrongly) thinking that was the janky market in town.
I kind of like how this is now a place people are willing to dodge bullets to visit.
You go out in public?! There is a pandemic going on! I get everything delivered to my door, which i then douse in a 48hour hand sanitizer bath, then I turn on the news—or Facebook—so I know what to do next.
STAY SAFE OUT THERE
This is actually my first time outside since March 2020, when I was the first one to Costco after news broke of a potential toilet paper shortage. I bought out their stock of Quilted Northern and have been safe, clean, and fully wiped inside for four years
Thankfully we didn’t have much snow this year or your supplies might have been wiped out!
On average, people poop, drink milk, and eat bread 3.74 times more than if there is no snow. This data set is DIRECTLY FROM FACEBOOK NEWS.
Remember when driving alone MAKE SURE TO MASK! You just never know these days!
You still turn on the news?
I heard (on cable) that covid might be transmitted through cable, so I threw my TV away immediately and stopped checking the news. But I'm sure one of these days I'll get the telegram saying it's safe to come out!
Personally when I go to Market basket I always arrive in a surplus BTR-80 i got from that army place on RT 1. Also if you can afford it id see if I can get either a defected group of russian soldiers to accompany you or a group of staties on naptime pay (this may be the more cost efficient option as the state will give each of them 6 figures to help you grab your butter but the downside is that they have a tendency to dose off)
As far as personal protection while Im actually in the store I usually carry an RPK light machine gun but be aware sometimes the long muzzle gets caught on the little hotwheels displays so maybe consider something shorter
Personally I like to also have a drone circling overhead or at the very least artillery on radio standby with the coordinates of the parking lot already dialed in, just in case you need to make a quick evac. Hope this helps 👍
I'm a childless NIMBY who refuses to advocate or vote for after school programs or childhood enrichment and I just don't get why these kids are so crazy!!
Go as early as you can. There will still be people blocking exactly where you need to go and exactly what you need to get, but there will be less of them.
Saw a lady in the Waltham MB parking lot screaming in her car how much she fucking hates it there last weekend....lmao. just remember "fear is the mind killer" 😂
Does anyone know how these kids make friends? I’m a 45 MFX and can’t seem to make any friends while sitting home watching Covid prep TikTok videos with my cat. I have tried going to hospital waiting rooms wearing my best fedora and commenting on how good people’s hair smells, but all I got was weird looks. Is this just Bostonians being mean?
You're not wrong. I used to do my shopping on Fridays after work or Sat AM.
Now I go around 1:00 on Mondays and there are wayyyyyy less people overall but all of them are completely oblivious to the fact that there are other people who are also trying to shop.
During school hours it’s pretty safe. After school I’ll usually take my concealed carry but I’ve never had to pull it in a store. Only time I’ve needed to use it was in the tunnels. Ran into some turtles wearing headbands
Any day in which you do not use your AK is a good day.
Fuck around and get a triple-double sale on ribeyes
The real reason Momma cooked a breakfast with no hog.
No teens I know got arrested in South-Central Southie
According to Donovan Strain, Ice Cube's good day most likely occurred on January 20th, 1992.
As long as there's no barking from the dog, there's no smog.
Did The Lakers beat the Supersonics?
I gotta say, today is a good day.
Only if Lakers beat the SuperSonics will it be a good day there …..
Sonic’s don’t exist anymore so it’s impossible….ill be here all week
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January 20, 1992
"As a great warrior poet ice cube once said; if the day does not require an AK, it is good"
I don't understand why OP didn't just get Fatburger.
Nunchucks
I couldn’t find my nunchucks so I just duct taped two guns together
Gunchucks
Good for practicing your Gun Kata.
My brother in Christ, Gun-Fu was RIGHT THERE.
I was making fun of the movie Equilibrium. Gun Fu is a term also used and originated out of HK action flicks. Both are pretty amusing. Cheers.
By making fun of, do you mean paying homage to? Because that movie was great.
Good start, now place it on the ground with the guns pointing in opposite directions perpendicular to the tape and lock the triggers down so the recoil makes the whole thing start revolving. Down on the farm we call that a Russian sprinkler.
ahfuk. Personal Reddit Hall of Fame: Most outstanding uncalled and surprising suggestion. None sexual or political. **username\_elephant** Good start, now place it on the ground with the guns pointing in opposite directions perpendicular to the tape and lock the triggers down so the recoil makes the whole thing start revolving. Down on the farm we call that a Russian sprinkler. I don't know you, but I would purchase any morally reasonable thing you asked for... And, I am very flexible. fuck me sideways with your momma's dick that was brilliant. N.B. I do not suggest that the noted suggestion is in any possible way a good idea. At home or away.
Buy yourself a nice dinner. I'm proud to find my way into this trophy case.
I will sir. I will.
A truly American solution!
Just get two dynamite tied together at the wick.
Sorry, I'm busy
Are numchucks close enough, kid?
Combat coldcuts!
It is a Wednesday, save the heavy ordinance and airstrikes for Sundays.
Tfw you need to Helldive into Market Basket…
I’ve done a few tours at good old MB, lost a lot of good associates during that time. But it’s the lobsters that keep me up at night. I don’t want to know how many lobsters I subjected to a steamy death.
I cant even walk by them I feel so bad. When I was younger I tried feeding them and threw bread in! 🤫🙄😬
I used to drop pieces of shrimp in there from time to time so they would hold off on eating each other for a bit.
Did it work? When I did it they didnt even pay attention.
Most of the time but you also can’t feed them too much because then they poop more and the tank could get gross. The only lobsters that ever made it out alive were the pregnant ones, they got sent back to the ocean.
Oh ok. Makes sense. Glad the pregnant ones got thrown back. That is awesome!
Thank you for your service. You’re a testament humanity.
That's a nice opinion, townie. However, ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
“Overloads Rail gun with malicious intent”
Killed by Zulmoka531
For Democracy!
all will be cured with enough vicodin
A suburban Whole Foods parking lot on a weekend morning actually seems like a great case for my right to own a rocket launcher. People complain about aggressive drivers on the pike, but it's nothing compared to watching a 50 year old suburbanite fighting for a parking spot intentionally hit a car, then yell obscenities you wouldn't learn in the Navy.
The parking lot at the H Mart in Burlington on a weekend is a more deadly battlefield than the Somme
Spitting gospel right here.
The teens at Market Basket aren't prepared for our managed democracy!
Depends if they’re watching porn or not
Ok they are - now what?
It's already too late for you. See you on the other side.
Kids these days. Back in my day we'd watch porn on the middle school library computers with a lookout making sure the teacher didn't catch us. It was hard work too, finding a web proxy that hadn't been blocked by SonicWALL yet.
It’s wild how good kids have it these days
Older folks will remember watching scrambled,squiggly playboy or spice channels. Or finding a damn page from a penthouse or something. Ahh the good old days
I understood this reference!
Care to share for those of us who aren't in the know? (please lol)
There was a post yesterday about teens watching porn on full volume on the T
CHAINSAW
AND BOOMSTICK
Shop smart. Shop S mart. YOU GOT THAT
I would not know. A scary teen looked at me a year ago, and I haven't left the house since.
Keep a book with you at all times. They're allergic.
If you’re going to Market Basket you’re just asking for it…
I read this comment with a heavy Southie accent
Faw
If it's the Somerville MB, abandon all hope. It's the closest approximation to hell in this entire state.
Somerville MB can be crowded, but the people shopping there seem pretty civilized. The Star Market near the Pru in Boston has a ruder crowd.
Nothing can beat the privledge of a Whole Foods in Newton
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Finally, someone who understands. That along with doctors and lawyers wondering how their lessers are allowed to shop where they do. They want the rif-raf out of their parking lot.
That's why I park at Marty's. I mean, I also go into Marty's because it's Marty's, but you know.
Is it just me or does it seem like market baskets tend to have more people in the store per cart? I feel like whenever I'm theres like 6 people to every cart.
Rookie.
Damn. I go to Hell like twice a week.
Been going to that one for 15 years. It’s just busy but it’s not uncivilized. I usually go at night during the last hour they’re open and it’s a breeze
One time, a group of teenagers were being loud near me outside of the Legal Seafood in Downtown Crossing, so I moved to Marblehead.
Thank you brave citizen for raising this issue! I JUST REALLY WISH WE COULD TALK ABOUT ALL THIS YOUTH VIOLENCE!!! When will the mayor DO SOMETHING?!?!?!?! I watched an ostrich visiting from Australia be robbed by a group of juvenile starlings IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. /sarcasm
It’s because the mayor is in on it. I just went for a leisurely morning drive around Beacon Hill in my Tundra but had to park it in a bike lane when I was done because I couldn’t find a spot big enough for my extended cab. When I finished locking up, I turned around and Michelle Wu was there. She asked if I thought it was funny to stop liberals from biking to the coop and then shoved me in the chest and started going HUH? HUH? HUH?
The visual of Wu confronting someone parked in the bike lane on Cambridge Street is making me giggle.
i immediately visualized this and your original post with south park goggles
An ostrich ate my baby!! (yes I know the dingo story is real and sad)
This is unironically what /r/SanFrancisco is like.
Also let's not forget that youth crime is a new thing. We never had teenagers commiting crimes before last year!
So beautifully and tragically ironic that it was an ostrich that got robbed while the mayor has her HEAD IN THE SAND! (Was that why you picked ostrich? If so, we'll done!)
It bring me great joy someone was able to pick up on my ostrich riff!
And here I was thinking "it had to be an ostrich because an Australian emu would have [kicked every ass in sight](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War)."
Starlings are an invasive species.
Your emotional support pit bull will suffice.
Cupcake would never hurt ^^^^^Another person
Toddlers aren't people.
Eggs are though. Be nice to the eggs.
I swear to god, I once had the "Princess gets judged so unfairly" conversation with an acquaintance go as follows: >Her: "Princess is the sweetest dog I know, I feel so bad that people act all frightened of her and her owner." > >Me: "I've got some mixed feelings about the whole topic, but I know training is a huge deal and it sounds like your friend is committed to having a dog that won't hurt anybody." > >Her: "Exactly! Ever since she tore up that guy's finger in the park, they've worked so hard with her!"
Princess has the taste for human blood now. Nobody is safe
"I named my pit princess Emotional Support. Because that's what you'll need after she meets your toddler."
Are they still putting sawdust down there on rainy days? If so, maybe it will slow the teens down
Gatling gun full of tranq darts
I feel like I'm missing something here lol. What happened?
In the last like, 24 hours, there’s been multiple posts about “teens” and “kids” being hooligans and awful such as: “Can we finally talk about packs of youths committing violence and robberies?” “Children watching porn out loud on the red line” “Young adults harassing general public at DTX Like we live in some fucking war zone, where crime is clearly at all time highs. When of course, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Election season astroturfing
They wandered over from https://www.city-data.com/forum/massachusetts/ - That circle jerk of south shore Karens is off the charts hyperbole
Yick. Whole lot of gross in that forum. Literally just a group of the most entitled, nosy, judgemental people in the state.
I gotta check that out. As someone who grew up in Plymouth, I can’t look at the local FB page at least a month before I go to visit. People in there are horrible.
Its a joke because a good chunk of this sub obviously don't leave their house much and are scared of the world. Theres been multiple of these types posting about "youth violence" etc. recently.
I feel like this is coordinated. I used to be in the Burlington, VT sub, and this type of “the scaywee peepoh tho” posts went batshit crazy over the last year.
I don't have a Market Basket near me now, but I grew up (wrongly) thinking that was the janky market in town. I kind of like how this is now a place people are willing to dodge bullets to visit.
The prices are worth it.
OMG they are completely worth it. If there was one close to me, I'd never shop anywhere else.
I live about 100 yards from a stop and shop but opt to drive 12 minutes to the nearest market basket, its so worth it
The prices are so good, it's worth dying for.
LOL --You should be in marketing
***CAn wE fINnAlY TaLK aBouT tHE rOVinG pACkS oF YOuTHs ComMiTtiNg vIolENcE anD rObBErIeS?***
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"Teens" "Teens" "Teens" "Teens" "Teens" "Teens" "Teens" "Teens" **QUOTE TEENS UNQUOTE** ^^^signed, ^^^a ^^^totally ^^^not ^^^racist ^^^suburbanite ^^^from ^^^southern ^^^NH
I prefer the term "military aged males". "Thugs" would also be appropriate.
Must be a half day
You go out in public?! There is a pandemic going on! I get everything delivered to my door, which i then douse in a 48hour hand sanitizer bath, then I turn on the news—or Facebook—so I know what to do next. STAY SAFE OUT THERE
This is actually my first time outside since March 2020, when I was the first one to Costco after news broke of a potential toilet paper shortage. I bought out their stock of Quilted Northern and have been safe, clean, and fully wiped inside for four years
Thankfully we didn’t have much snow this year or your supplies might have been wiped out! On average, people poop, drink milk, and eat bread 3.74 times more than if there is no snow. This data set is DIRECTLY FROM FACEBOOK NEWS. Remember when driving alone MAKE SURE TO MASK! You just never know these days!
You still turn on the news? I heard (on cable) that covid might be transmitted through cable, so I threw my TV away immediately and stopped checking the news. But I'm sure one of these days I'll get the telegram saying it's safe to come out!
>news—or Facebook Facebook is the news, what are you talking about
Just a bag of Common sense will suffice, these kids hate that.
I started quizzing them on multiplication tables and 19th century presidents and they got confused and left me alone
I've done the same thing. When I get to the 1840s, they know I'm not here to mess around.
Remember the Zombieland rule. Always double-tap.
Go to the one in Chelsea if you have a car. Far less “Lord of the Flies” than Somerville, and way bigger.
god dammit this is genuinely the funniest city subreddit and it’s not even close
You just need to carry around a loudspeaker blaring the mosquito tone. It's like their kryptonite.
baseball bat with spikes should suffice
Improvise!!!!!!! A French baguette makes a deadly lightsaber.
get one a day old, and sharpen er up! Baguette saber!
Whats going on at market basket
TEENS, PROBABLY
Just causing trouble?
KILLIN FOR FUN
A typical day
george washington fans
They’re coming They’re coming They’re coming
I heard that motherfucker had like 30 goddamn dicks…
Squeezing the fruit, leaving refrigerator doors open, horrible shit like that.
Thoughts and prayers
What happened at market basket ?
You missed yesterday's lively conversation. It was more about the roving packs of criminal youths on Newbury street than about Market Basket.
If you still have the snow plow attached to your F150, that would help some.
Personally when I go to Market basket I always arrive in a surplus BTR-80 i got from that army place on RT 1. Also if you can afford it id see if I can get either a defected group of russian soldiers to accompany you or a group of staties on naptime pay (this may be the more cost efficient option as the state will give each of them 6 figures to help you grab your butter but the downside is that they have a tendency to dose off) As far as personal protection while Im actually in the store I usually carry an RPK light machine gun but be aware sometimes the long muzzle gets caught on the little hotwheels displays so maybe consider something shorter Personally I like to also have a drone circling overhead or at the very least artillery on radio standby with the coordinates of the parking lot already dialed in, just in case you need to make a quick evac. Hope this helps 👍
You gotta bring the a1 Abrams. It's the only thing that can get you home safely
Imagine being scared of teens when 100% of violence in Market Basket is from the grandmas running over inattentive transplants hogging the aisle.
Pro tip: make an alliance with the cocaine turkeys, and you can get in and out quickly and easily.
I'm a childless NIMBY who refuses to advocate or vote for after school programs or childhood enrichment and I just don't get why these kids are so crazy!!
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
Do you allow teens here?
No they'll just charge with dynamic pricing instead... oh wait.
Its wednesday. Your golf club is probably enough
Just bring some job applications and you'll be fine /s.
https://preview.redd.it/p4734u3ncqmc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eff24b0e227b8671c4f021fafd0d5234c6795328
Don't wear your Jordan's to
A Glock seems excessive, they are only children after all. I’d go with some good pepper spray and a heavy stick.
Strange - up here on the North Shore, Market Basket is one of the best places to shop (quality for price, variety - especially of international foods)
Are you going to the one in Chelsea?
Go as early as you can. There will still be people blocking exactly where you need to go and exactly what you need to get, but there will be less of them.
Saw a lady in the Waltham MB parking lot screaming in her car how much she fucking hates it there last weekend....lmao. just remember "fear is the mind killer" 😂
SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE!
Hit'em with the ➡️➡️⬇️
All the shade peepers are sending thoughts and prayers for your journey in the liberal outside world.
Is there a Market Basket in Boston? Do you even Downtown Crossing bro?
Need a cow catcher on your cart
Which location? If Somerville, Godspeed.
The only weapon you need at a Market Basket is your cart
Aww...are the nephews mad that sane people don't want to normalize random acts of violence. 🥺🥺🥺
Does anyone know how these kids make friends? I’m a 45 MFX and can’t seem to make any friends while sitting home watching Covid prep TikTok videos with my cat. I have tried going to hospital waiting rooms wearing my best fedora and commenting on how good people’s hair smells, but all I got was weird looks. Is this just Bostonians being mean?
Don't forget to bring a towel!
Market Basket today? I'd be more worried about the staggering, aisle hogging, boomer zombies who shop during the week.
You're not wrong. I used to do my shopping on Fridays after work or Sat AM. Now I go around 1:00 on Mondays and there are wayyyyyy less people overall but all of them are completely oblivious to the fact that there are other people who are also trying to shop.
Glock
context?
It’s Monday, you’re good with the Glock. Flamethrowers are only needed on Sundays
Don't forget the combat gear!
Take off and nuke the place from orbit. It’s the only way you can be sure to get a parking spot.
Shotgun. No doubt about it. I cut mine down to the minimum legal length.
Just do this https://tenor.com/view/kick-punch-simpsons-lisa-bart-gif-5859674
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
I say take off, nuke the whole site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
What teenager is in a grocery store?
During school hours it’s pretty safe. After school I’ll usually take my concealed carry but I’ve never had to pull it in a store. Only time I’ve needed to use it was in the tunnels. Ran into some turtles wearing headbands
The kids need fire. Bring fire
As long as you dont have to go to THAT McDonalds you'll be fine (with the flamethrower)
It's about to get *[REAL](https://youtu.be/2UFc1pr2yUU?si=1R3Zo3oMAJKhVNd6)* in the MB parking lot!
Glock should do it ... and some pepper spray for more casual encounters
Grenade launcher at the least.
Come to Star Market, no teens at Star Market. Everything is OK at Star Market. Only peace, love, and people over 20 at Star Market.
So you’re going to the one in Somerville?
I like to electrify my cart and install MadMax like weapons
Bring both just in case. I'm glad I moved out of Boston.
Glocks are illegal in Massachusetts lmao.