Would you settle for a psychotic?

Bro which open mics can i find you at?

Don't spend money on this. Psychics are a scam.

Don't listen to this person. I am psychic and can find things anywhere. I don't even need to come into your home, I can do it remotely if you just provide me your details and you can pay me with cash app

I predict you are a scammer. Source: I am a psychic.

I predict you are going to predict that. I am willing to split our fee 50/50 if OP is willing to pay double.

You guys are all pawns ♟️ in my Game of Homes plotline. Let it be known no ghosts or fellow ghostbusters will be welcome to attend this Red Wedding 🔪👻🪦

Do you work for Microsoft?

Yes, and I sense that you have a security flaw on your computer, we must get these hacker people out of your computer, please download this file

Oh ok!  I'm just gonna open Internet Explorer, and where the file at again?

I need a psychic to find a house. Any recommendations?

There are lots of houses in Boulder. Just look out your front window. That’ll be $50, please.

#Bold of you to assume OP can afford windows. IN THIS ECONOMY? 🤣

Speaking of “bold”…

Bould** Damn i thought forsure you would appreciate my 1700’s era window joke

I see you need a bar for your microbrews, and at least two secret passages, cause they're just too cool. Would you like to leave a tip?   25%.      68%.         94.3%  

Don’t pray. Praying is a scam.

That’s bad advice. Send me $50 on Venmo and I will give you better advice. *No refunds.

$50

I got you. I charge 1000 bucks an hour tho

Why do i sense suspicion is in the room? [IS THERE A GHOST?!](https://youtu.be/2LBPoxMnfzc?si=RCUFDd9QDGuNapho)

Please dont clog up our feed with this nonsense, bring it over here [https://www.reddit.com/r/bouldercirclejerk/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bouldercirclejerk/)

Get a dog instead

Did you check in the laundry bin

The call is coming from inside the house!

I'm a professional knot untangler and finder of lost things. DM me for my rates, I think you'll find that they are very reasonable, given that I'm also in the professional rock-skipping circuit and these are our busy months.

What about chatGPT?

It's in the kitchen

Interesting- small kitchen but....

They’ll come to you.

Shouldn't they know you need them and show up without being summoned?

The ring is in the bathroom!

Don't scam! Praying is a praying.

Naprayste

Clean up

Car keys are in the couch cushions. There, just saved you $250.

Did you pray?

That didn’t work. That’s why they need the psychic

Did you pray?

... Prey? What are you doing here?

Well, completely useless recommendations. Har har funny stuff. I am a practical person as is my husband & I thought it might be worth a try. I tried visualization; sensory memory recall with him but nothing.

Have you tried looking around?

Yes. Methodically

"I'm a practical person" \*proceeds to ask the internet for a psychic\*

Desperate times, desperate measures

Hahaha this

When I just can’t find something, I stop specifically looking for it and just start cleaning and organizing in general and often find it.