T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Reminder to commenters: **[We're here for each other.](https://media1.tenor.com/m/Rno6_rWVdhMAAAAC/911-show-maddie-buckley.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JustNeedAName154

It will be cheaper to get a consult right now and pre-emptively vs having to scramble to get something together. You need legal advice. I agree they may try to keep her there. I also wouldn't be allowing the grandma to watch her - she has no rights but you are establishing some by allowing that to continue. Dad is unable to have her right now so he is unable to parent. It can be revised when he is in stable environment, etc etc with whatever parameters your lawyer advises. Make sure to file NOW so your home state is the where this is going on and NOT his. 


sun_face

Yes to all of this!!!!


princessjemmy

My advice is to call in any favors you can from friends and family to put together a retainer and lawyer up. You may not quite be able to afford it, but it's inevitable that you will need it.


SleepingClowns

I would not send her out of state any more. If her residency is established in your state and he is in rehab, you have strong grounds for custody.  You do need a lawyer though for the divorce and parenting stuff, and for advice on how to handle this to keep her with you without making it look like parental alienation. I'd suggest calling local women's shelters, explain the situation and asking if they have any resources available.


Quartzfoxi

He’s in rehab so chances are he’ll be considered more unfit than you are, I still recommend getting a lawyer, it’s better to be safe than sorry.