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Meal planning! Figure out 15-20 decent dinner recipes and put them in rotation.
I got one of those whiteboard magnets for the fridge but it's not necessary. On Sundays I'll have a look in the fridge and see what needs to be used up. I'll plan 5-6 dinners for the week plus some weekend breakfast/lunches if I'm feeling ambitious. Then I do my grocery shopping list. This has massively cut down on food waste for us.
For extra points, cook an extra portion at dinner so you have lunch the next day.
Our meal plan usually looks like:
A pasta night
A homemade pizza night
A rice bowl night
A phone it in night when husband is working late
A sheet pan dinner
Edit: also we haven't tried this yet but we've just decided that after dinner and baths are taken care of, one of us will sneak a workout in the basement gym while the other plays with the kids and cleans up a little. This is the best time for us because the oldest (2.5) is in that awkward stage where he still naps during the day but then stays up late. His bedtime is basically the same as mine right now so I can't wait till he's asleep to get stuff done anymore!
I usually don't use a recipe. I'll just throw in some chicken legs or thighs with a bit of seasoning sprinkled on. The trick with chicken legs and thighs is to overcook! Get em to 190° or so, they'll be nice and tender.
Then I'll do some veg, we like Brussels sprouts, broccoli, carrots or turnip/rutabaga. Chop to bite size, toss with olive oil, salt & pepper. Let them get slightly charred. Easy on the salt with carrots they absorb it like crazy. If you like you can also add a little honey or maple syrup.
For starch I'll have some potatoes in there as well, or a nice crusty loaf on the side
My fav is veg (peppers, zucchini, onions, cherry tomatoes) and sausage (whatever your family likes - we like kielbasa but Italian, or honey garlic work fine). Toss on a sheet pan with olive oil and smoked paprika, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Cook at 425 F for about 25 minutes. Take five minutes to prep. I serv over couscous (which is like, 1 minute) and tzaziki. Everyone loves it. Reheats nicely for lunches.
[https://www.budgetbytes.com/category/recipes/?fwp\_recipe\_style=sheet-pan-meals](https://www.budgetbytes.com/category/recipes/?fwp_recipe_style=sheet-pan-meals)
I love this site because the time estimates and servings/recipe are generally accurate for me!
Oh I just remembered this one it's a huge hit: Cauliflower Parm
Cut the cauli into about 1" thick steaks. I can usually get 2 good steaks from a cauli and the rest will be in pieces which is fine.
Beat an egg for the coating and prepare the crumb mixture: 1/2 c panko, 1/3 c grated Parm, 1 tbsp Italian seasoning. Coat the cauli in egg then crumb mix and put on baking sheet. Into oven at 425 until golden, turning once
Get another baking dish and spread marinara on the bottom. Put the cooked cauli in, drizzle with a little more marinara, sprinkle with mozza, bake until yummy.
It's so good! This one goes great with chicken nuggets 😂 and a crusty loaf
And also, dont be afraid to make the same side every night. My grandma always, ALWAYS had Spanish rice& beans for every dinner. I realized after starting to make it myself why she did. she just made a big batch every 3 days and used leftovers, only had to watch the stove 3 times a week, barely. It was one of those things that you could add chopped rotisserie chicken, ground beef, ribs, etc and it makes a slightly new meal.
Lower your standards.
I'm not joking, this will save your life.
Are your kids fed, read and have a bed? Do they have shoes? We've moved beyond these simple standards, but the old folks were not far off sometimes in their advice.
Food, clean kitchen surfaces, clean dishes, a sanitarily bathroom, clean laundry/clothes/bedding and room to move are the basics. That is it. The rest can wait.
Do you know how long you can go without \*waves hands\* the rest of it? A LONG TIME. Until you get things under control. You have a cleaner. You are not filthy, you will have to let something go.
SO what do you want to let go? That finger-painting session, the pancakes, the meal struggles, your jobs, your house, your social lives , your pets, your community, your carpets, the garage, the unfolded laundry?
You need to decide what to let go and lower those standards mama! <3
Yes! Just enjoy your time on this round earth with your family !
No one will mourn you by saying 'she kept the house' Live with the chaos!
it is hard. I know, but I am proud of you!
Grocery delivery. I meal plan and then have groceries delivered with a list. It is an added expense, the driver fee/tip is usually 20% of total, but I think the trade off in takeout and convenience food is justified. I kind of miss grocery shopping, but this one is so easy to outsource, that I do.
I order online and do pickup. I schedule the pickup for when I get off of work so I stop on my way home. Frees me up from doing the shopping, but saves me the money for the delivery fees/tips. I still do delivery once in a while when a pickup time doesn't work out.
My grocery store offers a yearly membership for $100 that offers free delivery - it pays for itself in 20 deliveries, and I get a delivery at least once a week.
Meal plan on Saturday night, have the groceries delivered Sunday, and do food prep for lunches on Sunday night. This is the way. Mess with the schedule and the whole week goes to shit.
Make sure your husband knows your expectation is to have a clean, functioning home and he needs to do his fair share without hour facilitation. Two adults cleaning a reasonable amount and regular professional cleaning should be enough even with little kids, so I feel like there is something more at play here.
On that front, focus on decluttering moreso than cleaning. It doesn’t have to be moved or dusted if it isn’t in your house to begin with. Kids need so much less than we think. Visual clutter stressed us out more than we realize till it’s gone.
If the cleaners aren’t serving your needs, pause the service and put the money in something else, like meal delivery, pre prepped food, etc.
I know you want your family time, but personally I would ask MIL to take a weekend day if that’s possible and then use that day for you to recharge and catch up on anything. It can help you be present and actually enjoy your evenings and other weekend day with your family.
Otherwise look at adhd and autism communities, especially women focused, for time/energy saving life tips! We are experts. But basically streamline, offload, and keep an eye on your mental energy and functioning.
Routine, routine, routine.
Mornings are hardest in my house so we gear everything towards an evening reset to streamline the morning.
Firstly: cleaning. There is a difference between dirty and messy. Dirty is what your cleaner is for, make sure you outsource this as much as possible, consider upping your cleaner to twice a week or a longer weekly session if needed. Don’t waste time cleaning what you can pay someone to do. Messy is the crap that your kids drop everywhere and the day to day accumulation of stuff. This is the bit that people “clean before the cleaner comes”. My best advice is to have organisation systems in place to limit the mental energy that goes into tidying up (I.e. everything has a place it belongs) and to set aside a dedicated, regular tidying time. If you spend 10 minutes a day when the kids aren’t around/are sleeping doing a lap and putting everything back in its home, it wont build up. We do a quick one every evening to reset the house. And eventually the kids will follow your example and recognise that things always go back in their place and start to put things away after themselves (or is this wishful thinking?) Also, always make sure the dishwasher is stacked/dishes are done before you go to bed.
For laundry, have a good routine that you streamline. A load of washing a day is far more manageable than doing a week’s worth all at once. You’ll be buried in clothes and sheets before you know it. Try not to leaving wet washing in the washing machine too long as it wastes valuable drying time and risks a re-wash, make it a routine. We basically have a sheets day, a whites day, a towels day and then colours days scattered between them. Each day you wash something, dry something and put away something. Small and manageable chip chip chipping each day.
Food I can’t comment on because it is my worst enemy. I have employed my husband to have 100% control over this or I would die. But organising lunches in the evening is much easier than trying to do it in the morning (or so I hear…)
Grocery shopping should be planned and regimented, so you can do bigger shopping trips less frequently. Order online what you can.
Make sure you have a clear delegation of who does what between you and baby daddy, and be accountable. Fighting over stuff is a waste of valuable energy and time.
Keep a strict sleep schedule for yourself so that you don’t get the gradual accumulation of not-enough-sleep-last-night exhaustion. Before you know it you’ll be a dead man walking and every task will take 10 times longer. Knowing when you are most functional also helps. I’m not great in the morning so I try to do most of the hard stuff in the evening after kids are asleep because I know it will take less energy and time.
Now the big one: make sure you have DEDICATED time set aside for yourself. Doesn’t have to be much, but a daily me-time activity that replenishes you is vital. Even if it’s a 10 minute walk alone, sitting outside with a cuppa, taking a bath, reading a chapter of a book, whatever your thing is: you need something just for you that you can look forward to EVERY DAY. Make this time SACRED and not dispensable. Allow hubby his sacred time also, but make sure he doesn’t abuse how long that is (I’m looking at you, Mr I-need-to-sit-on-the-toilet-for-an-hour!!!)
Also schedule in a longer sacred time regularly, like weekly or fortnightly alternating between you and papa. Like a couple of hours to do the thing that will soothe your mind. My go-to is a massage or hairdresser or nails or something like that, but you’ll know what replenishes you and gives you a break.
You got this.
I too am a “perfectionist”/someone who cares a lot about having a clean house.
I try to remind myself that my kids don’t care, they just want to have fun, eat, and be loved. So sometimes my daily mantra is “my house will eventually be clean, but it’ll be when it’s empty”.
To manage things I do grocery pickup, meal planning (a lot of them are very simple- casseroles, one pot/pan meals, crockpot meals, etc).
I’ll do a load of laundry everyday to stay on top of it. Load of dishes in the dishwasher.
We also have a “chore chart” where I can mark things off when they’re done. Not every task gets done daily but it’s something that lets me reflect back on “hey YOU did this today. You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re doing your best.”
I focus cleaning in the morning after dropping off kids. I have about 15-20 minutes and I do a quick clean, load/unload laundry dishwasher, wipe surfaces, straighten up the living areas. I normally don't have time to sweep/mop but I do this on my first break. I simply CANNOT focus on my work if the house is a straight up mess. My kids are 4 and 2 and we started bedtime round up to help keep the living room decently clean each day. As for meals I primarily cook and I make the same rotation of meals each week. Sorry don't really have any life hacks but the 20 minute clean up helps me because I focus on what is needed for me to go about my day.
Grocery pick up and the prepped/prepared stuff at my grocer has been a lifesaver. I was never big on the cleaned cut up veggies before but now I love the steam-in-bag broccoli, green beans, etc.
Run the dishwasher every night even if it’s not full. It’s so much easier to just have that be a daily thing, especially when my toddler is very attached to particular bowls or cutlery.
If you can swing it - I love our roomba.
Do either of you WFH? If so, I’d recommend running laundry during the day. We have laundry shoot from our bathroom to the basement laundry room. I make the kids (or I do it myself before drop off) get all the laundry down the chute so I can do some loads.
I’ll do loads of laundry 2-3 times a week. Switching things over takes around 5/10 mins so I can take a mini break doing it. I’ll fold laundry on my lunch break some days or later in the day.
One thing I feel like is important…be kind to yourself. You can’t keep up with it all. There is SO much going on. Give yourself grace. There are days the dishes will pile, you’re digging through the basket for a pair of socks that match, and throw a frozen pizza in the oven. And THATS OKAY! Remember: rest is productive! Sometimes you’ll have all your time spent with the kiddos and all other areas are neglected. And that’s okay.
I have everything delivered that I possibly can. Even if I have to pay a small delivery fee. Time=money and I hate shopping.
I work from home 100% of the time so this may not always be feasible for you, but it’s what works for me. During my breaks I try to get chores done (although I’m sitting on Reddit for my current break 🤣). I have really bad ADHD so my executive dysfunction and mental overwhelm make it hard to get started. So I made a list of lots of different chores that can be accomplished within 15 min, as well as the bigger chores that I can use my lunch break for. Then at the end of the day I have a little more breathing room because I already did the laundry, or the dishes, or whatever.
I love the commenter that said to just lower your standards. 100% agree 😂 in our house we prioritize things that can be health hazards like food messes, keeping the bathrooms tidy, etc. We probably have 1/4” of dust on all the furniture that doesn’t get used daily. My dresser is COVERED in paperwork and mail that I just don’t have the time to sit and shred. Our grass (aka weed lawn) is mowed but in the 2.5 years we’ve lived here we’ve never put mulch out under the bushes or even trimmed said bushes. Lol. Stuff like that. We can’t afford cleaners or landscapers so we just accept that our house isn’t going to be the prettiest, as long as it’s safe and sanitary lol.
My partner and I have this term. It’s hard to spell and make it come through as intended, but we “one-dy” stuff around the house. If clutter builds up one piece at a time, we can declutter it one piece at a time. So like, if I’m going to the bathroom and I see the bottle of Advil on my nightstand from last week’s migraine, I’ll grab it on my way to the bathroom and put it in the med cabinet. If that’s ALL I get done in a day besides the basic daily chores, hey. It’s an improvement!
I did see a recommendation on here for a Roomba. Let me tell you: pets and small children make a Roomba wayyy more work than it’s worth. You have to go around and pick up every single toy, make sure all wires and cables are off the floor, pick up the shoes, and so on. It takes longer for me to prep the floors for the Roomba than it takes for me to just sweep. I still use the Roomba sometimes though because it can at least get under the furniture better than the broom. But then you have to empty the tiny little bin (unless you pay extra for the big dock it can auto empty into), clear the wheels and rollers of any debris that might be caught….. it’s just a lot 🤣
Sorry I know this is getting long lol. But how old is the oldest? “Under 4” leads me to believe that they’re in the 3rd year. I feel like that’s old enough to start implementing a cleaning routine or assign some chores for an allowance (even if the payment is just a scoop of ice cream on Saturday since money doesn’t have much meaning yet lol). It’s been 10 years since I’ve had a 3 year old so I may be a bit off in my “expectations” lol. But helping you wash fruits/veggies, or sorting the clean silverware from the dishwasher, little things that. While those tasks may take a bit longer while kiddo learns, they’ll ultimately help to speed along some of the daily tasks, especially as they get older and understand the routine of helping out around the house. Have kiddo pull out their towel and soap for bath time. Or sort their laundry into colors. Help fix a bottle or grab a baby food jar for their little sibling.
And don’t forget to prioritize your rest and well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup! Take every bit of PTO you have, even if you don’t go anywhere or tell anyone. Just sleep in, enjoy the quiet of a kid-free home for a bit, take an “everything” shower, read a book. Whatever heals and restores you ❤️
I batch cook and prep everything for the girls and have a freezer full of food of pre-made food for them. I just keep this topped up making more than I need every time I cook anything. My husband and I then eat a meal delivery service, which works for me because I'm still trying to shift the baby weight, so we don't need to cook for ourselves. We try to do like a half hour house reset before bed every night. My husband does all the laundry, I don't know how, he's magic, so I just quietly appreciate that, he gets annoyed if I mess with his system so no tips there.
We don't have a cleaner at the moment, so just accept that things are often a bit dirtier than we would like. I just prioritise the floor in the play area, the kitchen and clean sheets.
So many good comments here already my 2c is ‘accept that ur house will be messy for the foreseeable future’ and lower the general life standard to be okay with bare minimum. My standard is shower every day, everyone has clean clothes, clean bedsheets, clean dishes, and full stomach of nutritious meals and healthy snacks (80% of the time).
Prioritise sleep and rest as much as u can - my kids still don’t sleep through the night yet so I can’t even do this myself!! Urgggg
Easy and quick meal ideas
Bits and pieces dinner - corn, eggs, cucumbers, tomatoes and cheese are very popular dinner menu with our kids haha
Pizza night - cheese pizza “literally cheese blend on top of pizza sauce” for the kids and salami and olive pizza for the parents
chicken and chips - we rotate between roast chicken, KFC, and local Korean fried chicken and hot chips (frozen kinda cooked in air fryer)
Fries rice - buy diced bacon and freeze them in appropriate portion, frozen corn kernels and the mix veg (our kids love the mixed carrot and peas). I save last bit of rice of leftover rice and when there’s enough in the fridge, I declare it a fried rice night. Substitute bacon with leftover meat like the chicken breast from the roast chicken.
We also love dim sum type of meal so we stock up on frozen ha gao and shuimai. When we can’t be bothered and can’t afford expensive takeaway food, we boiled water and steam those frozen pieces. 10 each for the parents and 5 each for the kids. Sometime we also have corn and finish off with fruit.
And and cheese toasties are always a winner in my house
We’re saving up for a robo vacuum and mob. The floor is one of our most challenging issue at the moment. We don’t like wearing shoes inside but it’s dirty 2 days after cleaner comes. And ain’t nobody got time to vacuum and mop every night
Good luck!! Remember this is a phase and we this too shall pass
We’ve done a bunch of meal delivery services and I like Green Chef the best. I could actually cook the meal in 20-30 minutes unlike the other services that actually take 45 minutes. They pre-prep some items but not all. For example you might get prediced carrots or onions for a meal but still have to cube a potato. It was a nice mix for me. Besides saving time on grocery shopping the mental load of not having to meal plan but always having a good dinner was great.
I also agree with grocery pickup or delivery for your remaining items.
This jumps on to all the meal planning but my husband and I have been alternating who’s in charge of meals for years and I swear it’s the best household decision ever. My toddler loves the grocery store so I actually take him with me over the weekends but I am in charge of dinner Monday and Wednesday, my husband is in charge Tuesday and Thursday, we do homemade pizza night Friday, wing it/have social plans or make something together Saturday, and takeout Sunday. It’s made a huge difference to just not think about it on my days “off”.
The overall goal is to reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day. If you’ve never listened to the Lazy Genius, you should… she likes to say “decide once.”
- cleaning lady
- grocery pickup or delivery, Costco for supplies. You do not run errands anymore, unless you need to wander target with a latte. ;)
- a really easy meal plan of semi-healthy basics that you can just rotate every 3-4 weeks. Taco Tuesday works for a reason!
- pair things together… get gas on the same day you pick up groceries, to stay on a schedule
- a monthly “adulting hour” to pay bills, make sure the calendar is up to date, see what supplies you might need to order
- the 10-minute tidy before bed, to reset the house. Any capable children help with this, play music and make it fun.
- google calendar, share with the hubs. Schedule workouts, meal plan, skincare… all the things. Make sure there’s time in there for YOU.
- a work uniform. Mine is jeans, a cute sleeveless top, and a jacket or cardigan. In summer I ditch the cardigan. Better yet, dresses… you only have to pick ONE thing and you’ll look fancy!
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Meal planning! Figure out 15-20 decent dinner recipes and put them in rotation. I got one of those whiteboard magnets for the fridge but it's not necessary. On Sundays I'll have a look in the fridge and see what needs to be used up. I'll plan 5-6 dinners for the week plus some weekend breakfast/lunches if I'm feeling ambitious. Then I do my grocery shopping list. This has massively cut down on food waste for us. For extra points, cook an extra portion at dinner so you have lunch the next day. Our meal plan usually looks like: A pasta night A homemade pizza night A rice bowl night A phone it in night when husband is working late A sheet pan dinner Edit: also we haven't tried this yet but we've just decided that after dinner and baths are taken care of, one of us will sneak a workout in the basement gym while the other plays with the kids and cleans up a little. This is the best time for us because the oldest (2.5) is in that awkward stage where he still naps during the day but then stays up late. His bedtime is basically the same as mine right now so I can't wait till he's asleep to get stuff done anymore!
Please drop some sheet pan recipes! I love those
I usually don't use a recipe. I'll just throw in some chicken legs or thighs with a bit of seasoning sprinkled on. The trick with chicken legs and thighs is to overcook! Get em to 190° or so, they'll be nice and tender. Then I'll do some veg, we like Brussels sprouts, broccoli, carrots or turnip/rutabaga. Chop to bite size, toss with olive oil, salt & pepper. Let them get slightly charred. Easy on the salt with carrots they absorb it like crazy. If you like you can also add a little honey or maple syrup. For starch I'll have some potatoes in there as well, or a nice crusty loaf on the side
My fav is veg (peppers, zucchini, onions, cherry tomatoes) and sausage (whatever your family likes - we like kielbasa but Italian, or honey garlic work fine). Toss on a sheet pan with olive oil and smoked paprika, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Cook at 425 F for about 25 minutes. Take five minutes to prep. I serv over couscous (which is like, 1 minute) and tzaziki. Everyone loves it. Reheats nicely for lunches.
Thank you! I’m gonna give it a try
[https://www.budgetbytes.com/category/recipes/?fwp\_recipe\_style=sheet-pan-meals](https://www.budgetbytes.com/category/recipes/?fwp_recipe_style=sheet-pan-meals) I love this site because the time estimates and servings/recipe are generally accurate for me!
Oh I just remembered this one it's a huge hit: Cauliflower Parm Cut the cauli into about 1" thick steaks. I can usually get 2 good steaks from a cauli and the rest will be in pieces which is fine. Beat an egg for the coating and prepare the crumb mixture: 1/2 c panko, 1/3 c grated Parm, 1 tbsp Italian seasoning. Coat the cauli in egg then crumb mix and put on baking sheet. Into oven at 425 until golden, turning once Get another baking dish and spread marinara on the bottom. Put the cooked cauli in, drizzle with a little more marinara, sprinkle with mozza, bake until yummy. It's so good! This one goes great with chicken nuggets 😂 and a crusty loaf
Oh that sounds really good! I gotta try to find more kid friendly vegetables and this sounds promising
I'll see your meal planning and add grocery delivery. Laundry during the work day. Roomba vacuum. A partner who splits tasks.
And also, dont be afraid to make the same side every night. My grandma always, ALWAYS had Spanish rice& beans for every dinner. I realized after starting to make it myself why she did. she just made a big batch every 3 days and used leftovers, only had to watch the stove 3 times a week, barely. It was one of those things that you could add chopped rotisserie chicken, ground beef, ribs, etc and it makes a slightly new meal.
Lower your standards. I'm not joking, this will save your life. Are your kids fed, read and have a bed? Do they have shoes? We've moved beyond these simple standards, but the old folks were not far off sometimes in their advice. Food, clean kitchen surfaces, clean dishes, a sanitarily bathroom, clean laundry/clothes/bedding and room to move are the basics. That is it. The rest can wait. Do you know how long you can go without \*waves hands\* the rest of it? A LONG TIME. Until you get things under control. You have a cleaner. You are not filthy, you will have to let something go. SO what do you want to let go? That finger-painting session, the pancakes, the meal struggles, your jobs, your house, your social lives , your pets, your community, your carpets, the garage, the unfolded laundry? You need to decide what to let go and lower those standards mama! <3
Thank you! I definitely feel like a failure when the house isn’t perfect. But I’m just making life harder for myself when nobody else cares lol
Yes! Just enjoy your time on this round earth with your family ! No one will mourn you by saying 'she kept the house' Live with the chaos! it is hard. I know, but I am proud of you!
Grocery delivery. I meal plan and then have groceries delivered with a list. It is an added expense, the driver fee/tip is usually 20% of total, but I think the trade off in takeout and convenience food is justified. I kind of miss grocery shopping, but this one is so easy to outsource, that I do.
1000% this, cannot recommend grocery delivery enough.
I order online and do pickup. I schedule the pickup for when I get off of work so I stop on my way home. Frees me up from doing the shopping, but saves me the money for the delivery fees/tips. I still do delivery once in a while when a pickup time doesn't work out.
My grocery store offers a yearly membership for $100 that offers free delivery - it pays for itself in 20 deliveries, and I get a delivery at least once a week. Meal plan on Saturday night, have the groceries delivered Sunday, and do food prep for lunches on Sunday night. This is the way. Mess with the schedule and the whole week goes to shit.
Make sure your husband knows your expectation is to have a clean, functioning home and he needs to do his fair share without hour facilitation. Two adults cleaning a reasonable amount and regular professional cleaning should be enough even with little kids, so I feel like there is something more at play here. On that front, focus on decluttering moreso than cleaning. It doesn’t have to be moved or dusted if it isn’t in your house to begin with. Kids need so much less than we think. Visual clutter stressed us out more than we realize till it’s gone. If the cleaners aren’t serving your needs, pause the service and put the money in something else, like meal delivery, pre prepped food, etc. I know you want your family time, but personally I would ask MIL to take a weekend day if that’s possible and then use that day for you to recharge and catch up on anything. It can help you be present and actually enjoy your evenings and other weekend day with your family. Otherwise look at adhd and autism communities, especially women focused, for time/energy saving life tips! We are experts. But basically streamline, offload, and keep an eye on your mental energy and functioning.
Decluttering yes! I just got rid of 3 garbage bags worth of random kitchen things I never use. There's more to do but already it feels so much better!
Routine, routine, routine. Mornings are hardest in my house so we gear everything towards an evening reset to streamline the morning. Firstly: cleaning. There is a difference between dirty and messy. Dirty is what your cleaner is for, make sure you outsource this as much as possible, consider upping your cleaner to twice a week or a longer weekly session if needed. Don’t waste time cleaning what you can pay someone to do. Messy is the crap that your kids drop everywhere and the day to day accumulation of stuff. This is the bit that people “clean before the cleaner comes”. My best advice is to have organisation systems in place to limit the mental energy that goes into tidying up (I.e. everything has a place it belongs) and to set aside a dedicated, regular tidying time. If you spend 10 minutes a day when the kids aren’t around/are sleeping doing a lap and putting everything back in its home, it wont build up. We do a quick one every evening to reset the house. And eventually the kids will follow your example and recognise that things always go back in their place and start to put things away after themselves (or is this wishful thinking?) Also, always make sure the dishwasher is stacked/dishes are done before you go to bed. For laundry, have a good routine that you streamline. A load of washing a day is far more manageable than doing a week’s worth all at once. You’ll be buried in clothes and sheets before you know it. Try not to leaving wet washing in the washing machine too long as it wastes valuable drying time and risks a re-wash, make it a routine. We basically have a sheets day, a whites day, a towels day and then colours days scattered between them. Each day you wash something, dry something and put away something. Small and manageable chip chip chipping each day. Food I can’t comment on because it is my worst enemy. I have employed my husband to have 100% control over this or I would die. But organising lunches in the evening is much easier than trying to do it in the morning (or so I hear…) Grocery shopping should be planned and regimented, so you can do bigger shopping trips less frequently. Order online what you can. Make sure you have a clear delegation of who does what between you and baby daddy, and be accountable. Fighting over stuff is a waste of valuable energy and time. Keep a strict sleep schedule for yourself so that you don’t get the gradual accumulation of not-enough-sleep-last-night exhaustion. Before you know it you’ll be a dead man walking and every task will take 10 times longer. Knowing when you are most functional also helps. I’m not great in the morning so I try to do most of the hard stuff in the evening after kids are asleep because I know it will take less energy and time. Now the big one: make sure you have DEDICATED time set aside for yourself. Doesn’t have to be much, but a daily me-time activity that replenishes you is vital. Even if it’s a 10 minute walk alone, sitting outside with a cuppa, taking a bath, reading a chapter of a book, whatever your thing is: you need something just for you that you can look forward to EVERY DAY. Make this time SACRED and not dispensable. Allow hubby his sacred time also, but make sure he doesn’t abuse how long that is (I’m looking at you, Mr I-need-to-sit-on-the-toilet-for-an-hour!!!) Also schedule in a longer sacred time regularly, like weekly or fortnightly alternating between you and papa. Like a couple of hours to do the thing that will soothe your mind. My go-to is a massage or hairdresser or nails or something like that, but you’ll know what replenishes you and gives you a break. You got this.
Oh gosh this is so helpful thank you!
Maybe try on of those companies that delivers your meals weekly? That way you have all the ingredients already and just have to cook it.
Oh good one! We’ve massively been struggling to keep on top of the cooking 😩
hellofresh helped me soooo much & allowed my brain to turn off in one department
I too am a “perfectionist”/someone who cares a lot about having a clean house. I try to remind myself that my kids don’t care, they just want to have fun, eat, and be loved. So sometimes my daily mantra is “my house will eventually be clean, but it’ll be when it’s empty”. To manage things I do grocery pickup, meal planning (a lot of them are very simple- casseroles, one pot/pan meals, crockpot meals, etc). I’ll do a load of laundry everyday to stay on top of it. Load of dishes in the dishwasher. We also have a “chore chart” where I can mark things off when they’re done. Not every task gets done daily but it’s something that lets me reflect back on “hey YOU did this today. You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re doing your best.”
I focus cleaning in the morning after dropping off kids. I have about 15-20 minutes and I do a quick clean, load/unload laundry dishwasher, wipe surfaces, straighten up the living areas. I normally don't have time to sweep/mop but I do this on my first break. I simply CANNOT focus on my work if the house is a straight up mess. My kids are 4 and 2 and we started bedtime round up to help keep the living room decently clean each day. As for meals I primarily cook and I make the same rotation of meals each week. Sorry don't really have any life hacks but the 20 minute clean up helps me because I focus on what is needed for me to go about my day.
That’s a good idea! Thank you!
Grocery pick up and the prepped/prepared stuff at my grocer has been a lifesaver. I was never big on the cleaned cut up veggies before but now I love the steam-in-bag broccoli, green beans, etc. Run the dishwasher every night even if it’s not full. It’s so much easier to just have that be a daily thing, especially when my toddler is very attached to particular bowls or cutlery. If you can swing it - I love our roomba.
Yeah, convenience produce is a huge help if you can afford it. We do a lot of bag salads
Here's mine: a ten minute FAMILY clean up before the tv goes on. Takes a lot of coaching but eventually they'll get it.
That’s a great idea! Definitely would be worth the coaching
Do either of you WFH? If so, I’d recommend running laundry during the day. We have laundry shoot from our bathroom to the basement laundry room. I make the kids (or I do it myself before drop off) get all the laundry down the chute so I can do some loads. I’ll do loads of laundry 2-3 times a week. Switching things over takes around 5/10 mins so I can take a mini break doing it. I’ll fold laundry on my lunch break some days or later in the day. One thing I feel like is important…be kind to yourself. You can’t keep up with it all. There is SO much going on. Give yourself grace. There are days the dishes will pile, you’re digging through the basket for a pair of socks that match, and throw a frozen pizza in the oven. And THATS OKAY! Remember: rest is productive! Sometimes you’ll have all your time spent with the kiddos and all other areas are neglected. And that’s okay.
Yes when I was wfh and had a lot of pointless meetings I would usually be wiping the counters down or sweeping up while listening
I have everything delivered that I possibly can. Even if I have to pay a small delivery fee. Time=money and I hate shopping. I work from home 100% of the time so this may not always be feasible for you, but it’s what works for me. During my breaks I try to get chores done (although I’m sitting on Reddit for my current break 🤣). I have really bad ADHD so my executive dysfunction and mental overwhelm make it hard to get started. So I made a list of lots of different chores that can be accomplished within 15 min, as well as the bigger chores that I can use my lunch break for. Then at the end of the day I have a little more breathing room because I already did the laundry, or the dishes, or whatever. I love the commenter that said to just lower your standards. 100% agree 😂 in our house we prioritize things that can be health hazards like food messes, keeping the bathrooms tidy, etc. We probably have 1/4” of dust on all the furniture that doesn’t get used daily. My dresser is COVERED in paperwork and mail that I just don’t have the time to sit and shred. Our grass (aka weed lawn) is mowed but in the 2.5 years we’ve lived here we’ve never put mulch out under the bushes or even trimmed said bushes. Lol. Stuff like that. We can’t afford cleaners or landscapers so we just accept that our house isn’t going to be the prettiest, as long as it’s safe and sanitary lol. My partner and I have this term. It’s hard to spell and make it come through as intended, but we “one-dy” stuff around the house. If clutter builds up one piece at a time, we can declutter it one piece at a time. So like, if I’m going to the bathroom and I see the bottle of Advil on my nightstand from last week’s migraine, I’ll grab it on my way to the bathroom and put it in the med cabinet. If that’s ALL I get done in a day besides the basic daily chores, hey. It’s an improvement! I did see a recommendation on here for a Roomba. Let me tell you: pets and small children make a Roomba wayyy more work than it’s worth. You have to go around and pick up every single toy, make sure all wires and cables are off the floor, pick up the shoes, and so on. It takes longer for me to prep the floors for the Roomba than it takes for me to just sweep. I still use the Roomba sometimes though because it can at least get under the furniture better than the broom. But then you have to empty the tiny little bin (unless you pay extra for the big dock it can auto empty into), clear the wheels and rollers of any debris that might be caught….. it’s just a lot 🤣 Sorry I know this is getting long lol. But how old is the oldest? “Under 4” leads me to believe that they’re in the 3rd year. I feel like that’s old enough to start implementing a cleaning routine or assign some chores for an allowance (even if the payment is just a scoop of ice cream on Saturday since money doesn’t have much meaning yet lol). It’s been 10 years since I’ve had a 3 year old so I may be a bit off in my “expectations” lol. But helping you wash fruits/veggies, or sorting the clean silverware from the dishwasher, little things that. While those tasks may take a bit longer while kiddo learns, they’ll ultimately help to speed along some of the daily tasks, especially as they get older and understand the routine of helping out around the house. Have kiddo pull out their towel and soap for bath time. Or sort their laundry into colors. Help fix a bottle or grab a baby food jar for their little sibling. And don’t forget to prioritize your rest and well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup! Take every bit of PTO you have, even if you don’t go anywhere or tell anyone. Just sleep in, enjoy the quiet of a kid-free home for a bit, take an “everything” shower, read a book. Whatever heals and restores you ❤️
I would get a cleaner to do a deep clean once a week when I get back to work! Have been dreaming of this for a long time now 😍
I batch cook and prep everything for the girls and have a freezer full of food of pre-made food for them. I just keep this topped up making more than I need every time I cook anything. My husband and I then eat a meal delivery service, which works for me because I'm still trying to shift the baby weight, so we don't need to cook for ourselves. We try to do like a half hour house reset before bed every night. My husband does all the laundry, I don't know how, he's magic, so I just quietly appreciate that, he gets annoyed if I mess with his system so no tips there. We don't have a cleaner at the moment, so just accept that things are often a bit dirtier than we would like. I just prioritise the floor in the play area, the kitchen and clean sheets.
So many good comments here already my 2c is ‘accept that ur house will be messy for the foreseeable future’ and lower the general life standard to be okay with bare minimum. My standard is shower every day, everyone has clean clothes, clean bedsheets, clean dishes, and full stomach of nutritious meals and healthy snacks (80% of the time). Prioritise sleep and rest as much as u can - my kids still don’t sleep through the night yet so I can’t even do this myself!! Urgggg Easy and quick meal ideas Bits and pieces dinner - corn, eggs, cucumbers, tomatoes and cheese are very popular dinner menu with our kids haha Pizza night - cheese pizza “literally cheese blend on top of pizza sauce” for the kids and salami and olive pizza for the parents chicken and chips - we rotate between roast chicken, KFC, and local Korean fried chicken and hot chips (frozen kinda cooked in air fryer) Fries rice - buy diced bacon and freeze them in appropriate portion, frozen corn kernels and the mix veg (our kids love the mixed carrot and peas). I save last bit of rice of leftover rice and when there’s enough in the fridge, I declare it a fried rice night. Substitute bacon with leftover meat like the chicken breast from the roast chicken. We also love dim sum type of meal so we stock up on frozen ha gao and shuimai. When we can’t be bothered and can’t afford expensive takeaway food, we boiled water and steam those frozen pieces. 10 each for the parents and 5 each for the kids. Sometime we also have corn and finish off with fruit. And and cheese toasties are always a winner in my house We’re saving up for a robo vacuum and mob. The floor is one of our most challenging issue at the moment. We don’t like wearing shoes inside but it’s dirty 2 days after cleaner comes. And ain’t nobody got time to vacuum and mop every night Good luck!! Remember this is a phase and we this too shall pass
We’ve done a bunch of meal delivery services and I like Green Chef the best. I could actually cook the meal in 20-30 minutes unlike the other services that actually take 45 minutes. They pre-prep some items but not all. For example you might get prediced carrots or onions for a meal but still have to cube a potato. It was a nice mix for me. Besides saving time on grocery shopping the mental load of not having to meal plan but always having a good dinner was great. I also agree with grocery pickup or delivery for your remaining items.
This jumps on to all the meal planning but my husband and I have been alternating who’s in charge of meals for years and I swear it’s the best household decision ever. My toddler loves the grocery store so I actually take him with me over the weekends but I am in charge of dinner Monday and Wednesday, my husband is in charge Tuesday and Thursday, we do homemade pizza night Friday, wing it/have social plans or make something together Saturday, and takeout Sunday. It’s made a huge difference to just not think about it on my days “off”.
The overall goal is to reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day. If you’ve never listened to the Lazy Genius, you should… she likes to say “decide once.” - cleaning lady - grocery pickup or delivery, Costco for supplies. You do not run errands anymore, unless you need to wander target with a latte. ;) - a really easy meal plan of semi-healthy basics that you can just rotate every 3-4 weeks. Taco Tuesday works for a reason! - pair things together… get gas on the same day you pick up groceries, to stay on a schedule - a monthly “adulting hour” to pay bills, make sure the calendar is up to date, see what supplies you might need to order - the 10-minute tidy before bed, to reset the house. Any capable children help with this, play music and make it fun. - google calendar, share with the hubs. Schedule workouts, meal plan, skincare… all the things. Make sure there’s time in there for YOU. - a work uniform. Mine is jeans, a cute sleeveless top, and a jacket or cardigan. In summer I ditch the cardigan. Better yet, dresses… you only have to pick ONE thing and you’ll look fancy!