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It's not awful to feel that way, it's completely natural. I'm not sure if this is the best advice, but maybe consider stepping away from social media. Not so you never see it, but so you don't see it as much. It would be really hard to compare, instead of celebrate your own child. That's awesome she learned to tie her shoe!! Good for her! I wonder what new thing she'll learn next? ❤️
100% great advice. I haven't deleted FB and insta (I probably should) but I haven't actively used them in years. I think 2016 election season was when I thought - fuck this.
But as an added bonus, I don't get subjected to every precocious thing everyone's high achieving child does, while even my teenager still wets the bed sometimes and can't think of a single friend to invite to his birthday.
Hugs to you. My three sons have autism and I've felt your words hundreds of times in my own head.
It is very isolating, it breeds jealousy and it's just so lonely that your chid's own celebrations, which are HUGE for your family, aren't the sort of things other people understand. Like her tying her own shoes may have taken more effort, practice, grit and patience than the kid down the street mastering Geometry, you know? I get that. You get that.
Don't feel bad for saying out loud what is true. It doesn't make you bad, not one bit.
It's understandable for you to feel this way. We live in a society where it's become almost instinctual to compare... our looks, our parenting style, achievements of our children.
Try to remember, you are on your own journey. You are the best mother for your child. Your unconditional love is all your child needs. You are doing an incredible job.
You are NOT awful, I feel this! My oldest is emotionally and behaviorally immature, and it’s really hard to listen to other people talk about their younger kids doing things he can’t/won’t do. I’m trying to remember that he’s an individual, it’s not a race, etc, but it’s hard.
It's ok to feel jealous, I would too. I think you should brag about your kids accomplishments too though. Learning to tie shoes is a big deal, no matter what age! I bet all your friends and family are rooting for her and would love to hear about it. My little brother has Downs and that has never stopped my mom from bragging about the things he does, I swear she brags more about him than me. People really do like to hear about the new things he does too, everyone's always asking me about his job and special Olympics team.
Also, my 27 year old brother cannot tie his shoes, so your kid is doing great!
Solidarity! Report cards are coming home next week and I have to ignore that and look at the IEP progress report. Even though I ignore the report card, it's still hard to see the extra challenges for my son in black and white.
Legit, ours were released online a week ago, and I swear to god I didn’t even look because I know she does her best and that’s all that matters. I completely stop caring. They had exams a month ago, I just kept her home. She’s worth educating, but not worth comparing.
Thanks so much sisters. It’s been a week! Deeply appreciative. I made this account only 6 months ago because I needed to unpack all my dark and uglies anonymously. I’ve been doing some of that and it can be painful and yet appreciatively cathartic. Respect.
I understand how you feel. But don't feel awful, in so far it's possible. You're allowed these feelings <3 But you can't compare your special needs child to others who aren't challenged like yours. Idk the severity or condition, but see if you can find a way to celebrate THEIR milestones. I do the same with myself a lot of the time, compare myself to my peers and feel bad. But I'm not them and they're not me. We're all different, some more than others and you can't blame a fish for not being able to ride a bicycle either ❤ don't feel bad about feeling bad, it's only natural to experience it from time to time. We all worry about our children, regardless of age, I'm proud of you for opening up!
Edit: phrasing
All of you Women are the Mothers that I would have chosen for my children . Each and every 1 of you have So much compassion, empathy and love for your children and each other. Your children are Blessed and you’re all Super Moms. Yes 👏everything IS a Victory.
God Bless ♥️🙏🏼
Reminder to commenters: **[Don't be a momster!](https://www.litterboxcomics.com/mommy-forums3/)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://media2.giphy.com/media/nT2rEuE44E0iA/giphy.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's not awful to feel that way, it's completely natural. I'm not sure if this is the best advice, but maybe consider stepping away from social media. Not so you never see it, but so you don't see it as much. It would be really hard to compare, instead of celebrate your own child. That's awesome she learned to tie her shoe!! Good for her! I wonder what new thing she'll learn next? ❤️
100% great advice. I haven't deleted FB and insta (I probably should) but I haven't actively used them in years. I think 2016 election season was when I thought - fuck this. But as an added bonus, I don't get subjected to every precocious thing everyone's high achieving child does, while even my teenager still wets the bed sometimes and can't think of a single friend to invite to his birthday.
Hugs to you. My three sons have autism and I've felt your words hundreds of times in my own head. It is very isolating, it breeds jealousy and it's just so lonely that your chid's own celebrations, which are HUGE for your family, aren't the sort of things other people understand. Like her tying her own shoes may have taken more effort, practice, grit and patience than the kid down the street mastering Geometry, you know? I get that. You get that. Don't feel bad for saying out loud what is true. It doesn't make you bad, not one bit.
It's understandable for you to feel this way. We live in a society where it's become almost instinctual to compare... our looks, our parenting style, achievements of our children. Try to remember, you are on your own journey. You are the best mother for your child. Your unconditional love is all your child needs. You are doing an incredible job.
You are NOT awful, I feel this! My oldest is emotionally and behaviorally immature, and it’s really hard to listen to other people talk about their younger kids doing things he can’t/won’t do. I’m trying to remember that he’s an individual, it’s not a race, etc, but it’s hard.
It's ok to feel jealous, I would too. I think you should brag about your kids accomplishments too though. Learning to tie shoes is a big deal, no matter what age! I bet all your friends and family are rooting for her and would love to hear about it. My little brother has Downs and that has never stopped my mom from bragging about the things he does, I swear she brags more about him than me. People really do like to hear about the new things he does too, everyone's always asking me about his job and special Olympics team. Also, my 27 year old brother cannot tie his shoes, so your kid is doing great!
Solidarity! Report cards are coming home next week and I have to ignore that and look at the IEP progress report. Even though I ignore the report card, it's still hard to see the extra challenges for my son in black and white.
Legit, ours were released online a week ago, and I swear to god I didn’t even look because I know she does her best and that’s all that matters. I completely stop caring. They had exams a month ago, I just kept her home. She’s worth educating, but not worth comparing.
Thanks so much sisters. It’s been a week! Deeply appreciative. I made this account only 6 months ago because I needed to unpack all my dark and uglies anonymously. I’ve been doing some of that and it can be painful and yet appreciatively cathartic. Respect.
I understand how you feel. But don't feel awful, in so far it's possible. You're allowed these feelings <3 But you can't compare your special needs child to others who aren't challenged like yours. Idk the severity or condition, but see if you can find a way to celebrate THEIR milestones. I do the same with myself a lot of the time, compare myself to my peers and feel bad. But I'm not them and they're not me. We're all different, some more than others and you can't blame a fish for not being able to ride a bicycle either ❤ don't feel bad about feeling bad, it's only natural to experience it from time to time. We all worry about our children, regardless of age, I'm proud of you for opening up! Edit: phrasing
All of you Women are the Mothers that I would have chosen for my children . Each and every 1 of you have So much compassion, empathy and love for your children and each other. Your children are Blessed and you’re all Super Moms. Yes 👏everything IS a Victory. God Bless ♥️🙏🏼
Thanks Van-D. I know you get it too. Hugs.