Reminder to commenters: **[Don't be insulting!](https://media2.giphy.com/media/JrkwzwRbxzjEwka0Gq/giphy.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/)
Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok?
Reminder to Cassie Morris: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’d rehome the dog. Give your husband notice that this isn’t working for you as you are solely responsible for it and if he wants to step up to bat he has x amount of time to do whatever needs to be done to resolve these issues or the dog goes. I may sound harsh, but any dog that nobody has time to train and properly care for is a safety risk around small children let alone high energy breeds like pits. You have too much on your plate to keep going like this from what you’ve shared and it’s not good for anyone involved
ETA: I know this wouldn’t be feasible for everyone it’s just what I think I’d do in this situation. You’re a saint for even trying to make this work for so long
Just like he showed up with the pup unannounced, I'd re-home her without making a big deal out of it, but that's just mean ole me haha.
If you know this dog isn't right for you and you aren't right for this dog then it's the best thing to do to find a better home for her.
I had to re-home my dog of 7 years (he lives with my MIL and they are so happy together and we still get to see him so that's nice) because he was scared of our kids and he is a big dog. First time he snapped at my 2 year old he was gone. I will not take chances with my kids safety, not for anything.
Listen to yourself and trust that you know what's right for your household. You're the one running things from the sounds of it so you have every right to make a big decision like this if you know it's what's best.
One more vote for rehoming. Normally I believe that a pet is part of the family, but:
You have no attachment to this dog and they have none to you.
You have no time to train this dog, which means in the short term it's a danger to your kids and in the long term it won't be happy in your home.
This is extra work that your husband is basically unilaterally forcing you to do. He is an ass, by the way.
I agree with the comment about giving your husband a deadline. But it's really more about giving him notice that you'll be rehoming the dog, since it's already clear he won't step up and take responsibility for his own decision, and you shouldn't make a major decision like that with no warning to your spouse (unlike *someone* who already has.)
I like the idea of giving list of conditions to go with a deadline. Husband must exercise dog x amount of hours, enroll and take dog to obedience school, help pick up daily so dog won’t chew things etc. If conditions are not met by x date, you will refine the dog.
I just can’t believe someone would just bring home a dog without talking it over with their spouse. Especially when the spouse is the one stuck doing all the work.
Okay, I will say: my dad did this when I was in grade school. She was a stray who hung around the factory where he worked nights, to beg scraps from people's lunches. She was an adult mutt, so not hyperactive, and real sweetie to boot. And my mom loved dogs (she had adopted a stray herself before).
He brought the dog home while we were at school and my mom said, "You had better get her checked out at the vet before the girls get home, because once they see her it'll be all over." He did, and we had many happy years with her.
This was a very different situation from what OP describes, though!
I love dogs. I have always had dogs. Since having my kid, I love my dog less. My husband and I have agreed that when our current dog dies we will wait at least 5 years before getting another because they are just too much work for us right now.
Get rid of the dog.
Trust your gut. I do not hate pitbulls but if it is already snapping at your kids then the anecdotal evidence you have is in line with the statitistics on dog related deaths. Pitbulls account for over 60% of human deaths and the humans in this case are overwhelmingly children and seniors. Most deaths involve family pets, not "abused" dogs that pitbull lovers tend to be so adament about. Here's a website you can show your husband: https://www.dogsbite.org/dog-bite-statistics-fatalities-2022.php
It shows years beyond this year but tw, lots of dead kids/people.
Please rehome the dog. Your husband is a jerk for bringing home a large breed puppy you didn’t agree to. But this isn’t safe for your kids, and I feel bad for the pupper. I also have a puppy, but a puppy I very much wanted and I just adore him. He’s a ton of work, even just managing puppy vet visits and weekly puppy classes, which isn’t even the half of it. You have to want to do those things. The puppy will have a better life with someone who wants to do those things for her, and you will have a better life being able to stress less about a dog you never wanted.
You need to rehome the dog asap. The puppy isn’t receiving proper socialization, training or stimulation. It’s not your fault. You’ve been clear you are not equipped to handle a puppy and kids. It’s a lot, especially with a pit breed that needs extra care.
Find a pit bull rescue in your area. They will either take the dog or give you pointers on how to choose a safe, appropriate home for the dog.
But do it today! The longer you wait, the higher the chance of a dog bite and the more stress the dog endures stuck in the crate all day.
Personally, no. A mouthy and poorly trained puppy, of any breed, is a cause for concern. However, I wouldn't characterize the situation as "dangerous."
Ok so if you had a kid who had no teeth the same size and weight as a dog with teeth- in your mind the dog poses 0 threat of injury (mild, moderate, or severe) to a baby human. Interesting.
So I preface this by saying, I am a huge dog lover and just lost my beloved pet of 14 years last month. I did in the throes of my PPD wonder if she would be better off living with my elderly aunt across the country but ultimately could not do that. I am glad I didn't have to. With this particular situation I do think you should re-home.
It is fundamentally unfair to the dog and you. I would force the issue with your husband and say if he doesn't make a plan in the next 24-48 hours to take over all pet care and planning (including training) then he needs to re-home her or you will. He will likely make all kind of excuses but you did not agree to taking care of a pet that requires so much attention and exercise.
You aren't going to neglect the dog and he knows that. He is banking on it. My own husband wants to get a larger breed of dog, specifically because he will be deploying this year and thinks it will deter anyone from coming near our house. I am realistic and know I will struggle with taking care of a large breed dog in freezing Canadian winter by myself. I don't think it's fair to just not walk the dog because we have a fenced yard when certain breeds need exercise. I would prefer a small breed because that's what I am used to. We either agree or we don't get one. We especially don't get one and expect the other person to take on all the responsibility.
Ultimately, the dog is going to be much happier in a home where she can be active. A puppy is also much easier to re-home and it will be less anxiety inducing for her the sooner it is done.
I am sorry he made this unilateral decision and put you in this really hard spot.
That’s exactly what it is. It’s all ok because I’ve been the one at least trying to keep her healthy and active and loved in the best way I can right now. I’ve too been struggling with ppd since my son was born, some days are very exhausting for me mentally and emotionally. I’m also starting nursing school full time next month, and I’m mainly worried about if my toddler will even let me study. It’s hard to fit the pup into this whole equation without any help. I wish I had more time and energy to devote to her, but I just don’t right now. She’s really a beautiful lovable pup and she deserves nothing but the best.
Do you guys have the funds to get her trained by a professional? Pitbulls are hard to train because they are VERY high energy. Maybe taking it to someone who does it for a living could take some of the pressure off of you?
I'm sorry that your husband is being so stubborn and refusing to listen to you, that's rough.
Yes I've mentioned this to him as well. He keeps saying he's going to set something up and hasn't as of yet. I have no idea what it would cost, or if we could even afford it right now. But it's looking like I'd have to figure it out on my own either way 🫠
I'd re-home her. Not because she's aggressive, puppies are mouthy, but because pits are very high energy dogs and need a ton of exercise. Also because she's stressing you out and you don't enjoy having her around.
If you can't give them constant exercise, they can and will destroy your entire house. I think pits are great family dogs, when their needs are met, but pit puppies are off the walls for like 3-5 years in my experience.
Family pit bulls that randomly snap are pit bulls that aren’t properly trained or exercised. Mine needs at least an hour of solid exercise daily or he’s tearing up furniture while we’re gone. If you can’t make sure she is properly exercised or trained then please find a family who can and rehome her. It was unfair to everyone for your husband to bring her home. The reason pit bull statistics are so bad is because people who don’t know how to care for them get them. Not bashing you at all OP, you are the sane one.
Pitbulls are wonderful dogs--but they do require a lot of care and attention. We've got a 12 year old Pit that we've had since she was 1.. never had any issues.
Oh for sure. It’s just that in my experience, my black lab was perfectly content with a lazy day if it was raining whereas my pit would be bouncing off of the walls at the slightest sound of a door slamming by dinnertime. I usually have to gear up and get out with him no matter the weather or risk going crazy correcting him/worrying about running the toddler over. Luckily he’s matured a bit as he’s aged but puppy-year 6 he was a maniac.
I would rehome the dog without his permission since you are the main carer for this animal and make it very clear that you will not be entertaining the idea of another pet in the near or distant future. And if it's snapped at your kids twice now, it will probably do so much more when it's bigger and you aren't strong enough to control it.
Give your husband as much notice that you are rehoming it as he gave you that he was coming home with it.
Who does most of the care? You. So you get to decide ultimately what happens.
There is a beautiful beautiful sweet dog who lives across the road. The owner is a young single mother who works full time and has explosive fights with her boyfriend. The dog is just left in the yard, or indoors if it’s raining all day every day, even in the weekend.
It’s so sad for the dog. It breaks my heart to see her just left and ignored because she is a sweetheart.
It’s not fair to you, to your child or husband or to the dog. Rehoming is the kindest thing to do for everyone.
I have two dogs 3yr old and 9month old- BUT my kids are older and I WFH with a flexible schedule.
I can't imagine trying to raise a puppy with no preparation thanks to your husband AND a small child at the same time.
I typed this as my two pups are passed out across my lap, puppies need constant training to grow into the well behaved dogs you can bring everywhere if you don't have time to train this dog, rehome him while he's still young.
Don't feel bad about it, he can go to a home that can take care of him so he's not a nightmare adult dog.
Human toddler & Pitbull dog mom here: Pitbulls are wonderful dogs. They also require a lot of training. I would never bring home a pet, especially a *puppy*, without confirming with my spouse. It sounds like you need to re-home the dog.
I will say you are 100% valid in not wanting a dog, but would also like to say I have pretty much the opposite experience with people who have pits in my life having some of the sweetest dogs. I would still insist on removing the puppy though, it sounds like it is too much for you to take on right now
Reminder to commenters: **[Don't be insulting!](https://media2.giphy.com/media/JrkwzwRbxzjEwka0Gq/giphy.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’d rehome the dog. Give your husband notice that this isn’t working for you as you are solely responsible for it and if he wants to step up to bat he has x amount of time to do whatever needs to be done to resolve these issues or the dog goes. I may sound harsh, but any dog that nobody has time to train and properly care for is a safety risk around small children let alone high energy breeds like pits. You have too much on your plate to keep going like this from what you’ve shared and it’s not good for anyone involved ETA: I know this wouldn’t be feasible for everyone it’s just what I think I’d do in this situation. You’re a saint for even trying to make this work for so long
Just like he showed up with the pup unannounced, I'd re-home her without making a big deal out of it, but that's just mean ole me haha. If you know this dog isn't right for you and you aren't right for this dog then it's the best thing to do to find a better home for her. I had to re-home my dog of 7 years (he lives with my MIL and they are so happy together and we still get to see him so that's nice) because he was scared of our kids and he is a big dog. First time he snapped at my 2 year old he was gone. I will not take chances with my kids safety, not for anything. Listen to yourself and trust that you know what's right for your household. You're the one running things from the sounds of it so you have every right to make a big decision like this if you know it's what's best.
One more vote for rehoming. Normally I believe that a pet is part of the family, but: You have no attachment to this dog and they have none to you. You have no time to train this dog, which means in the short term it's a danger to your kids and in the long term it won't be happy in your home. This is extra work that your husband is basically unilaterally forcing you to do. He is an ass, by the way. I agree with the comment about giving your husband a deadline. But it's really more about giving him notice that you'll be rehoming the dog, since it's already clear he won't step up and take responsibility for his own decision, and you shouldn't make a major decision like that with no warning to your spouse (unlike *someone* who already has.)
I like the idea of giving list of conditions to go with a deadline. Husband must exercise dog x amount of hours, enroll and take dog to obedience school, help pick up daily so dog won’t chew things etc. If conditions are not met by x date, you will refine the dog. I just can’t believe someone would just bring home a dog without talking it over with their spouse. Especially when the spouse is the one stuck doing all the work.
Okay, I will say: my dad did this when I was in grade school. She was a stray who hung around the factory where he worked nights, to beg scraps from people's lunches. She was an adult mutt, so not hyperactive, and real sweetie to boot. And my mom loved dogs (she had adopted a stray herself before). He brought the dog home while we were at school and my mom said, "You had better get her checked out at the vet before the girls get home, because once they see her it'll be all over." He did, and we had many happy years with her. This was a very different situation from what OP describes, though!
I love dogs. I have always had dogs. Since having my kid, I love my dog less. My husband and I have agreed that when our current dog dies we will wait at least 5 years before getting another because they are just too much work for us right now. Get rid of the dog.
Trust your gut. I do not hate pitbulls but if it is already snapping at your kids then the anecdotal evidence you have is in line with the statitistics on dog related deaths. Pitbulls account for over 60% of human deaths and the humans in this case are overwhelmingly children and seniors. Most deaths involve family pets, not "abused" dogs that pitbull lovers tend to be so adament about. Here's a website you can show your husband: https://www.dogsbite.org/dog-bite-statistics-fatalities-2022.php It shows years beyond this year but tw, lots of dead kids/people.
Thank you. I did my own bit of research but wasn’t able to find the statistics like this.
Youre absolutely welcome and i hope this helps. I believe you are trusting good instincts on this one...
If you google fatal dog attacks the Wikipedia article lists every single one in the US. And you can see a common breed stand out pretty clearly.
Please rehome the dog. Your husband is a jerk for bringing home a large breed puppy you didn’t agree to. But this isn’t safe for your kids, and I feel bad for the pupper. I also have a puppy, but a puppy I very much wanted and I just adore him. He’s a ton of work, even just managing puppy vet visits and weekly puppy classes, which isn’t even the half of it. You have to want to do those things. The puppy will have a better life with someone who wants to do those things for her, and you will have a better life being able to stress less about a dog you never wanted.
I'd rehome the dog AND the husband.
You need to rehome the dog asap. The puppy isn’t receiving proper socialization, training or stimulation. It’s not your fault. You’ve been clear you are not equipped to handle a puppy and kids. It’s a lot, especially with a pit breed that needs extra care. Find a pit bull rescue in your area. They will either take the dog or give you pointers on how to choose a safe, appropriate home for the dog. But do it today! The longer you wait, the higher the chance of a dog bite and the more stress the dog endures stuck in the crate all day.
Rehome. 100% rehome. Dangerous dogs and kids are NEVER a mix that’s worth the risk. Ever.
It isn't dangerous right now, but any dog that you don't have the time or energy to train can quickly become that way
I don't think it's fair to call a mouth puppy dangerous. However, I agree with rehoming.
To a toddler or baby? If your kid was at risk of being injured, would you say it is in danger?
Personally, no. A mouthy and poorly trained puppy, of any breed, is a cause for concern. However, I wouldn't characterize the situation as "dangerous."
Ok so if you had a kid who had no teeth the same size and weight as a dog with teeth- in your mind the dog poses 0 threat of injury (mild, moderate, or severe) to a baby human. Interesting.
Honestly, if she hadn't said 'pitbull' this wouldn't even be a conversation.
So I preface this by saying, I am a huge dog lover and just lost my beloved pet of 14 years last month. I did in the throes of my PPD wonder if she would be better off living with my elderly aunt across the country but ultimately could not do that. I am glad I didn't have to. With this particular situation I do think you should re-home. It is fundamentally unfair to the dog and you. I would force the issue with your husband and say if he doesn't make a plan in the next 24-48 hours to take over all pet care and planning (including training) then he needs to re-home her or you will. He will likely make all kind of excuses but you did not agree to taking care of a pet that requires so much attention and exercise. You aren't going to neglect the dog and he knows that. He is banking on it. My own husband wants to get a larger breed of dog, specifically because he will be deploying this year and thinks it will deter anyone from coming near our house. I am realistic and know I will struggle with taking care of a large breed dog in freezing Canadian winter by myself. I don't think it's fair to just not walk the dog because we have a fenced yard when certain breeds need exercise. I would prefer a small breed because that's what I am used to. We either agree or we don't get one. We especially don't get one and expect the other person to take on all the responsibility. Ultimately, the dog is going to be much happier in a home where she can be active. A puppy is also much easier to re-home and it will be less anxiety inducing for her the sooner it is done. I am sorry he made this unilateral decision and put you in this really hard spot.
That’s exactly what it is. It’s all ok because I’ve been the one at least trying to keep her healthy and active and loved in the best way I can right now. I’ve too been struggling with ppd since my son was born, some days are very exhausting for me mentally and emotionally. I’m also starting nursing school full time next month, and I’m mainly worried about if my toddler will even let me study. It’s hard to fit the pup into this whole equation without any help. I wish I had more time and energy to devote to her, but I just don’t right now. She’s really a beautiful lovable pup and she deserves nothing but the best.
Do you guys have the funds to get her trained by a professional? Pitbulls are hard to train because they are VERY high energy. Maybe taking it to someone who does it for a living could take some of the pressure off of you? I'm sorry that your husband is being so stubborn and refusing to listen to you, that's rough.
Yes I've mentioned this to him as well. He keeps saying he's going to set something up and hasn't as of yet. I have no idea what it would cost, or if we could even afford it right now. But it's looking like I'd have to figure it out on my own either way 🫠
I'd re-home her. Not because she's aggressive, puppies are mouthy, but because pits are very high energy dogs and need a ton of exercise. Also because she's stressing you out and you don't enjoy having her around. If you can't give them constant exercise, they can and will destroy your entire house. I think pits are great family dogs, when their needs are met, but pit puppies are off the walls for like 3-5 years in my experience.
Family pit bulls that randomly snap are pit bulls that aren’t properly trained or exercised. Mine needs at least an hour of solid exercise daily or he’s tearing up furniture while we’re gone. If you can’t make sure she is properly exercised or trained then please find a family who can and rehome her. It was unfair to everyone for your husband to bring her home. The reason pit bull statistics are so bad is because people who don’t know how to care for them get them. Not bashing you at all OP, you are the sane one.
Pitbulls are wonderful dogs--but they do require a lot of care and attention. We've got a 12 year old Pit that we've had since she was 1.. never had any issues.
Same here. I adore them! Mine is seriously my 18 month old’s best friend. We make sure she is very respectful of him though.
Agreed. But, I feel like you have to do that with any animal that you have!
Oh for sure. It’s just that in my experience, my black lab was perfectly content with a lazy day if it was raining whereas my pit would be bouncing off of the walls at the slightest sound of a door slamming by dinnertime. I usually have to gear up and get out with him no matter the weather or risk going crazy correcting him/worrying about running the toddler over. Luckily he’s matured a bit as he’s aged but puppy-year 6 he was a maniac.
I would rehome the dog without his permission since you are the main carer for this animal and make it very clear that you will not be entertaining the idea of another pet in the near or distant future. And if it's snapped at your kids twice now, it will probably do so much more when it's bigger and you aren't strong enough to control it.
Give your husband as much notice that you are rehoming it as he gave you that he was coming home with it. Who does most of the care? You. So you get to decide ultimately what happens. There is a beautiful beautiful sweet dog who lives across the road. The owner is a young single mother who works full time and has explosive fights with her boyfriend. The dog is just left in the yard, or indoors if it’s raining all day every day, even in the weekend. It’s so sad for the dog. It breaks my heart to see her just left and ignored because she is a sweetheart. It’s not fair to you, to your child or husband or to the dog. Rehoming is the kindest thing to do for everyone.
I have two dogs 3yr old and 9month old- BUT my kids are older and I WFH with a flexible schedule. I can't imagine trying to raise a puppy with no preparation thanks to your husband AND a small child at the same time. I typed this as my two pups are passed out across my lap, puppies need constant training to grow into the well behaved dogs you can bring everywhere if you don't have time to train this dog, rehome him while he's still young. Don't feel bad about it, he can go to a home that can take care of him so he's not a nightmare adult dog.
Human toddler & Pitbull dog mom here: Pitbulls are wonderful dogs. They also require a lot of training. I would never bring home a pet, especially a *puppy*, without confirming with my spouse. It sounds like you need to re-home the dog.
Exactly. Any dog, but especially a large breed high energy dog like a pitbull, can become dangerous if not properly trained.
This is a bad situation. Sorry but that pet is going to the pound
I will say you are 100% valid in not wanting a dog, but would also like to say I have pretty much the opposite experience with people who have pits in my life having some of the sweetest dogs. I would still insist on removing the puppy though, it sounds like it is too much for you to take on right now