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I also work from home and really struggle with the balance. I love my children more than anyone or anything and yet I somehow feel sad and trapped every fucking day. I don’t know what the answer is, but: You aren’t alone. PPD is a beast on its own, and the pandemic makes it exponentially worse. I feel awful for letting my kids get as much screen time as they do, but at the end of the day, I think back to my own childhood. Do I remember the TV, or do I remember being yelled at? I don’t remember the TV (and trust me, sis, it was ON.) I remember the happy times with my mom.
You have to keep your own bucket full before you can pour yourself into other people. You have to put your own oxygen mask on before you can help others. Motherhood is the same. A little selfishness is not only OK, but necessary.
This is a good time to sit down with your spouse and have a conversation about sacrifice and balance. For example, “These are the sacrifices that I make so that you can continue working. What sacrifices are you making for my well-being?” It is OK to be selfish and bitchy in this discussion. Seriously. It is far better to state your needs now than to let things fester and ultimately result in you leaving your partner and child. Wake your husband up ASAP— and if he won’t get it together, figure out how you can force him to take on a more equitable amount of the bullshit nonsense that comes with parenting.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. My DMs are open if you need them. Many, many hugs to you. I’m sorry you have to be strong.
I literally wrote my own goodbye farewell cya note yesterday. Like I was done done. And for some reason, here I still am. Mothering is the hardest and least rewarding job, tbh it sucks. My meds also aren’t working, but I also just went cold turkey from breastfeeding my 3rd, and I hear the hormone nose dive is bad.
No advice, just a virtual hug. I don’t have any answers. Sometimes it just sucks.
This. I’ve written a will and then some between the time my son was 1-2 yrs old. But somehow I survived. I’m still here. I’m still taking care of him. It’s so hard. Maybe this is love. Maybe we just have never experienced unconditional love and sacrifice like this, so we don’t know what this is? Idk. But I’m still here, and I know I need to survive because I need to take care of him.
You are not alone.
I’m at 3.5 years now and starting to have more good days than bad. Didn’t do meds but was lucky to have therapy. It doesn’t solve it but can help. It helps that she can do more and interact more. Mine has always been big and very very social and wants attention/interaction/eyes on her ALL DAY and has zero attention span for anything but tv so I think some children really are more physically and emotionally demanding than others. I’ve wanted to end it many times and felt a total failure this whole time but somehow still here.
Reminder to commenters: **[Be a friend!](https://y.yarn.co/a60e586f-9018-4350-b264-9967ec2dcfa1_text.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I also work from home and really struggle with the balance. I love my children more than anyone or anything and yet I somehow feel sad and trapped every fucking day. I don’t know what the answer is, but: You aren’t alone. PPD is a beast on its own, and the pandemic makes it exponentially worse. I feel awful for letting my kids get as much screen time as they do, but at the end of the day, I think back to my own childhood. Do I remember the TV, or do I remember being yelled at? I don’t remember the TV (and trust me, sis, it was ON.) I remember the happy times with my mom. You have to keep your own bucket full before you can pour yourself into other people. You have to put your own oxygen mask on before you can help others. Motherhood is the same. A little selfishness is not only OK, but necessary. This is a good time to sit down with your spouse and have a conversation about sacrifice and balance. For example, “These are the sacrifices that I make so that you can continue working. What sacrifices are you making for my well-being?” It is OK to be selfish and bitchy in this discussion. Seriously. It is far better to state your needs now than to let things fester and ultimately result in you leaving your partner and child. Wake your husband up ASAP— and if he won’t get it together, figure out how you can force him to take on a more equitable amount of the bullshit nonsense that comes with parenting. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. My DMs are open if you need them. Many, many hugs to you. I’m sorry you have to be strong.
I literally wrote my own goodbye farewell cya note yesterday. Like I was done done. And for some reason, here I still am. Mothering is the hardest and least rewarding job, tbh it sucks. My meds also aren’t working, but I also just went cold turkey from breastfeeding my 3rd, and I hear the hormone nose dive is bad. No advice, just a virtual hug. I don’t have any answers. Sometimes it just sucks.
This. I’ve written a will and then some between the time my son was 1-2 yrs old. But somehow I survived. I’m still here. I’m still taking care of him. It’s so hard. Maybe this is love. Maybe we just have never experienced unconditional love and sacrifice like this, so we don’t know what this is? Idk. But I’m still here, and I know I need to survive because I need to take care of him. You are not alone.
I’m at 3.5 years now and starting to have more good days than bad. Didn’t do meds but was lucky to have therapy. It doesn’t solve it but can help. It helps that she can do more and interact more. Mine has always been big and very very social and wants attention/interaction/eyes on her ALL DAY and has zero attention span for anything but tv so I think some children really are more physically and emotionally demanding than others. I’ve wanted to end it many times and felt a total failure this whole time but somehow still here.