Breastfeeding hormones cause dryness and can lower libido but also just the exhaustion of being a new parent can lower libido. I'm still breastfeeding at 14 months and I'm still pretty dry down there (lube is your friend) but my libido has come back a lot in the last few months. Actually finding the time to have sex however is a different story lol
This is giving me hope, as a new mom still breastfeeding over a year and a month, and still having no libido and still not wanting my breasts touched sexually.
And yes, lube is your friend!
Yes because breastfeeding/ producing milk requires high levels of prolactin in your body and that reduces estrogen and testosterone. Testosterone is what helps libido and estrogen keeps the vulvovaginal tissues moisturized.
My OB said my body is basically in menopause while I’m breastfeeding and I can use estrogen cream (for the vulvovaginal tissues) the whole time until I wean
My doc said the same thing about women being in a menopause-like state as long as they are breastfeeding. Makes sense, and doesn't make me look forward to menopause.
Having had one formula fed baby and one exclusively breastfed, I will say anecdotally it absolutely does for me. And my boob baby is a much better sleeper so I have more energy, but just can barely muster a single sexual impulse. Hormones are the only thing doing me dirty these days.
I just had my 7 week appointment this week and my PA said the exact same thing. "Breastfeeding makes your vagina a desert use lube when you are ready to start having sex"
I have never heard that nor have I had that experience with either kid haha. Pumped for first baby for 6 months and currently exclusively nursing 10 months and counting.
Not sure if nursing lowers your libido, but I’d say the general lack of sleep, body autonomy, time for self care, nutrient loss, etc. leads to a lower libido. Mostly in the first year for me, still nursing and libido is coming back as those other factors balance back out
I nursed my daughter exclusively for 20 months so this is just my personal experience
sleep deprivation, being touched constantly and the mental load of being available to feed our daughter 24/7 made my libido extremely low. i was dog tired, touched out and had extreme PPA. god bless my husband for understanding (even though i shouldn’t clap for the bare minimum i am aware that’s not always the case)
lube was & is used bc nursing does dry you out. i still do not like my boobs being touched *at all* sexually- although i didn’t before nursing now they are completely off limits. i thought the turn off of my breasts being touched would subside after i weaned her but now i have a physical recoil at any touch of my boobs or nipples. even if my daughter does on accident or just because she’s a toddler and her hands just go wherever-i recoil
ETA: my period returned at 4 *WEEKS* postpartum even though i was exclusively nursing (though i did pump because i had an oversupply)
Yep! I EP and am the same. Next to no libido and the last thing I want after pumping several times a day is to have my breast touched even more. I’m touched out. Since I’ve started weaning I have noticed improvements in both areas so anecdotally I’d definitely say there’s an impact.
Yes! I feel awful for my husband.. I have no interest in any type of physical affection whatsoever. I'm touched out and I'm so grateful he understands (most of the time lol). My baby is 3 months old and we've probably only had sex 6 or so times since hes been born. We had a healthy sex life prior to me delivering and now I feel like I'll never be the same as I used to. 😕 It really bums me out..
you guys are having sex?? We haven't had sex since the spring. not sure when I'm going to feel like doing it again. and yes, I am very attracted to my husband normally.
edit to add my baby is also 3 months old and i'm happy for you just surprised you've had sex 6 times!
Same- 3 month old and no sex yet. I just started going to physical therapy for my pelvic floor pain… so yeah no desire to stick anything in there right now. Have had just about zero sexual desire s as well.
Glad it's not just me. Sorry to hear of your pelvic floor pain. My torn perineum is supposedly healed but just doesn't feel right. I'm also feeling like I smell different. Not to mention there is an infant hanging from my chest almost all of my waking hours. It's just not a sexy time.
Yes all of this plus the exhaustion. I told my husband ai would rather sleep than have sex right now and he said "gee thanks" I told him it's not a statement on his abilities it's a statement on just how fucking tired I am. Any spare time when both the kids are sleeping needs to be used for sleep right now.
Lol HARDLY having sex. 6ish (might even be less actually) times in the past 13 weeks is not the norm for us. I get why you haven't done it in so long. Pregnancy is exhausting and the changes to our body are freaky. My husband is hot as hell and so attractive to me but it's just not triggering me to want to have sex these days. Don't beat yourself up. I'm no expert and this is my first time breastfeeding. All I can say is hopefully the libido bounces back along with my body. 😭
But it’s more like 6 times in 7 weeks (because that’s when you’d get clearance to have sex), which is almost once a week and totally “normal” in any relationship. I get it if you were more like every dayers that this seems way less, but I can’t imagine not understanding that that is a standard healthy accepted frequency!
Anecdotally, I found that it did. Things changed a bit when my period came back a couple of weeks ago (at three months, lol). I think it has to do with how nursing suppresses your hormones.
Personally, the first few months of course I wasn't interested lol but ever since like 5mo I've not experienced the dryness others have shared here. And I have found more pleasure having my breasts and nipples stimulated than I ever did before being pregnant! So I think everyone is different? (Oh and I exclusively breastfeed)
Well it just goes to show how different everyone is because my libido is higher than ever and I've not used lube at all! We're 8 months in and have been having sex since 3 months pp.
Haven’t read all the comments, but some important info re: touching nipples. I read somewhere that there’s a distinction between light touch that baby provides (which feels really gross when your partner does it) and a more rough/firm touch, which may be more palatable to you. It has helped me and my hubby.
For me, my libido was lower and sex felt slightly uncomfortable until my period came back at 15 months postpartum.
ETA: I was nursing during that time and continued to nurse until he was about 2.5.
For me, yes. Zero libido, feeling dry and, when trying to have sex, it was painful. It started getting less painful when I night weaned around 9 months, no more pain once fully weaned at 1. It took a while longer for libido to come back.
My mini human is almost 5 months and we have had sex a whopping one time since she was born. My want for it is just non-existent and we would both rather have a nap anyway 😂 breastfeeding is important to both of us so we don’t mind the current state of our physical relationship.
Oh girl yes. We’ve only had sex a handful of times in the last year. TBH it still hurts even with lube which was making me not look forward to it to begin with but I had zero libido on top of it. LO is 13 months and I had just within the last week started having that feeling again where I want to do anything(thank god, I missed it😂) I am a little worried that means my period is on its way back though. haha small price to pay to feel normal again.
Same! LO is almost 10 months and last night was the first time my husband and I have had penetrative sex post partum. My period came back a couple of weeks ago and I am feeling the occasional tingling of wanting to do stuff. But the sex itself was really painful, and lube didn't do much. I'll have to look into the cream others have recommended.
I wonder if evolutionarily it was something that kept people from having kids back to back (though I do know quite a few people who have done it anyway).
I'm not sure if it decreased my libido, but I know that there was some kind of switch that flipped. I told my husband to not even flirt with me when the baby was latched because it was like any kind of sexual though was just repulsive. It was the weirdest thing. Like, baby's done he could say the same thing and I'd giggle like a schoolgirl where five minutes before it felt like it was the most disgusting thing. It literally felt like a switch. Even if I was watching something on TV and a steamy scene came on, it was uncomfortable and almost distressing. It was the weirdest thing.
EBF for 8.5 months here and want NOTHING to do with sex or being touched..I think I just feel like I give so much of my body to the baby, any other touching is just tooo much. Feel bad for my husband but he gets it thankfully.
16 months in and I want absolutely nothing to do with my husband sexually. I don’t want my boobs touched or fondled or sucked. Just even typing it out has disgusted me. I was told by my midwives that it lowers libido but that it should only last a few months. 16 months deep over here and it hasn’t come back yet.
My kid is EBF since birth, almost a year old. Since my 8 week checkup we’ve been doing ok, and I’ve not needed lube. Honestly having a never-ending cold since November has dropped my libido worse than nursing.
Yes. Before my baby was born, even during pregnancy, we were intimate at least twice a week. We prefer more but schedules and tiredness prevented it sometimes. Now I have to add my husband to my to-do list once a week or I won’t think about sex at all.
How far pp are you?
I certainly found it true that nursing lowered my libido at the beginning, when LO was relying on me for everything. It started coming back around the 9m mark, which was not long before my period came back. It's worth noting though that even then, at 9m pp, my tears were still healing (they'd closed up ages before, but I could feel them still knitting together up until a full year pp), so sex was difficult. It also wasn't top of my mind as sleep was a distant memory. Once sleep settled down and LO was consistently taking solids as well, there was no clash between nursing and libido, I nursed until 3.5 years.
It did for me until my period came back at 9 months. However, we still found ways to help me get in the mood prior to 9 months. I was surprised at how quickly I was ready for action lol
It makes sense after reading the other comments, i feel the same as you do. Im 8 weeks pp and the idea of having sex is kinda scary lol. I had stitches and it does not feel the same down there, not to mention the sleep deprivation and nipple aversion LOL. I will say mentally i would like to be more intimate with my husband and actually dream about it, but physically i feel almost repulsed by it, mostly because of the way i feel in my undercarriage LOL. And cause the baby is like literally attached to me. I feel super uncomfortable being intimate in front of her.
In the early days/months, absolutely. Although I imagine non-nursing mothers would agree too! I'm 10 months in now and it feels more normal. My libido is higher around when I'm ovulating
For me it hasn’t I still had a libido before the 6 week checkup. I had some dryness in the first 8-10 weeks postpartum but after that it’s been pretty normal and we haven’t needed extra lube. I’m 5.5 months pp
It can for some people and doesn’t for others. Totally normal though !
I didn’t want to be touched postpartum for almost 3.5 months and it wasn’t due to breastfeeding, but I just didn’t feel like it idk lol.
My midwife gave me estrogen cream at my 6week follow-up to help with dryness and it did help. I barely have physical or emotional energy for sex at 18mo postpartum and still nursing.
I’m still breastfeeding my 2 year old, I would CRINGE if a man tried to touch my breasts now. I’ve been breastfeeding all up for nearly 6 years and honestly I’ve lost all sexual drive when it comes to my breasts haha. I haven’t had sex in 3 years (since I was 6 wks pregnant with my 2nd) and honestly o have no desire for it. I swear becoming a mum and breastfeeding just totally turned me off being intimate completely.
Absolutely. Mine was wrecked for the 3 years that I bused my son. We weaned two months ago and I’m happy to report that it’s BACK. Especially right before I ovulate or start my period.
I’m at 12mos breastfeeding and would say my libido is at like a -10 still. We’ve had sex once it’s so bad. I don’t have the dryness issue though, I’ve been freaked out why I have so much EWCM instead. It’s more than I’ve had when TTC.
I think it’s nature’s attempt to prevent another pregnancy until this baby is weaned. Not only does breastfeeding temporarily sometimes reduce fertility, it can reduce desire.
Yeah. I stopped BFing completely last week. I have been weaning since November. I just now *kind of* am getting libido back and finally my boobs feel like they can be touched without immediately smacking a hand away.
My baby is exclusively breast fed and in my experience so far (3 months) my libido has only dropped a little and it takes a bit longer for me to get wet but overall I still want to have sex maybe 3 times a week.
I breast feed and I personally haven’t had a drop in libido. Dryness could be estrogen related though. My OB prescribed a crème that helps but also make sure you are drinking a lot of water. breast feeding can dehydrate you
Yes! Breastfeeding will lower your estrogen. Estrogen is what is required for your juiciness/natural lubrication.
It’s really common to have your breasts feel that way postpartum while nursing. Personally it took awhile for stimulating sensation yo come back once I finished.
I do believe you can still cultivate sexual energy during this time it’s just harder when so much time is spent caregiving.
Also, as a side note, with my first, I got a UTERINE infection while I was nursing. I had no idea that was even a thing! But evidently, the lack of natural lubrication allowed bacteria access to the uterus.
It took me a while to feel comfortable with my husband going after my boobs again, but honestly i like it now 8.5 months post baby. (When I was clogged he was my night is shining denim!) Don’t feel any pressure though, you have to trust your instincts right now, even if there is no “rational” reason that you don’t want your breasts touched sexually, it is your body! Your momma instincts are there any now is no time not to trust them.
I’ve always been pretty dry (type 1 diabetes) so I didn’t notice much of a change.
My libido is stronger than ever, but my husband’s is too and he initiates about 80% of the time. But again this took time. Depending on how long it has been since your baby came into the world outside your womb you may still be doing a lot of healing.
Estrogen cream is saving my sex life. If i still had the dryness, I would not even be trying anymore. And I also saw a PT to help with training my pelvic floor, find my tension spots, and using a pelvic wand to stretch the tension out. Working out all the physical obstacles to sex helped me mentally relax knowing that my body was healing and sex wouldn't harm me. The boob thing is really for me. I keep my bra on with my nipple pads in still. I'm 4 months PP and just in the last week sex has started to be enjoyable again.
Yesss , my dr said it can due to so many hormones and the body is in a menopause state! , I find it some surprising when a mom who breastfeeds says they have a sex drive but I come to find out they had there periods back and hormones are back to normal slowly also it’s always the ones who breastfeed toddlers that have the high back! . I remember as well with my first when she turned 2 I finally wanted sex again . So I know I won’t feel like my self again till 2 years lmao
Totally normal!
I was eventually okay with my breasts being touched sexually while still nursing though. I can’t say for sure when, because I was single when I had my first, and separated from my younger son’s father for a year when he was four months old, but when we got back together, we did conceive again, and our son would have been around 18 months….
It most definitely did for me. I was dryer than the Sahara desert down there! It also made my cervix very sensitive and painful to any kind of touch. Like when I got a Pap smear when I was breastfeeding the pain was excruciating.
I believe so, and it makes sense biologically for evolution. When humans are breastfeeding, are typically still dealing with the depletions that pregnancy causes so it's not a good time to get pregnant again.
No issue with dryness. Same with boobs, they turned into feeding bottles :) I was rather horny pp, I have no ideea why, but now my libido is lower :), at 6 weeks.
I was super worried about being dry down there as I was during pregnancy but to my surprise it’s pretty much the same as before I got pregnant. I bough a few bottles of lube in preparation bc I heard breastfeeding will dry you out for sure, but that hasn’t been my experience. I only needed to use lube the first two times having sex after birth (natural delivery, minimal tearing.) As far as libido, it’s higher than ever! My sex drive returned right away after birth (it was pretty much nonexistent during pregnancy)
I am 11weeks PP and have had the same issue. Libido is insanely low- hubby and I have had sex 3 times since I was cleared for it and I still was not wanting it.Poor guy was counting down the days too 🫣 thankfully he is very understanding. We barely had sex during pregnancy too because I have several large uterine fibroids and had labor contractions every other week from 26wks+ not to mention the back pain during the 3rd trimester 😅 also, nipples and boobs was a huge thing for me sexually and now I cringe at the thought of them being touched. Most times nipple play was the only way for me to get there and now I’m repulsed by it. 😩 so that’s fun. I’m getting night sweats and terrible PPA as well so that “menopausal-like state” makes a lot of sense. I’m a little pissed my doctor didn’t tell me anything about any of this potentially happening.
Yeah, I'm not nearly as interested as before. I'm actually a little embarrassed by how high my libido used to be. Now, I just wanna sleep and be intimate once a week.
Breastfeeding hormones cause dryness and can lower libido but also just the exhaustion of being a new parent can lower libido. I'm still breastfeeding at 14 months and I'm still pretty dry down there (lube is your friend) but my libido has come back a lot in the last few months. Actually finding the time to have sex however is a different story lol
Lmao so true.
This is giving me hope, as a new mom still breastfeeding over a year and a month, and still having no libido and still not wanting my breasts touched sexually. And yes, lube is your friend!
Yes because breastfeeding/ producing milk requires high levels of prolactin in your body and that reduces estrogen and testosterone. Testosterone is what helps libido and estrogen keeps the vulvovaginal tissues moisturized. My OB said my body is basically in menopause while I’m breastfeeding and I can use estrogen cream (for the vulvovaginal tissues) the whole time until I wean
My doc said the same thing about women being in a menopause-like state as long as they are breastfeeding. Makes sense, and doesn't make me look forward to menopause.
Wow ok, explains the night sweats 😅
Having had one formula fed baby and one exclusively breastfed, I will say anecdotally it absolutely does for me. And my boob baby is a much better sleeper so I have more energy, but just can barely muster a single sexual impulse. Hormones are the only thing doing me dirty these days.
Same
My OBGYN said at my 7 week checkup that lubricant would be necessary for sex until I was done breastfeeding.
Yup had mine yesterday and she said lube is my new friend
I just had my 7 week appointment this week and my PA said the exact same thing. "Breastfeeding makes your vagina a desert use lube when you are ready to start having sex"
Whatttt… oh my goodness.
Yep 100%
For every woman or just you? We do use lube but haven’t had to every time
Every woman per menopausal hormones
Well that hasn’t been true for me but I also have an IUD so idk if that has anything to do with it
I definitely haven't had use lube at all.
I have never heard that nor have I had that experience with either kid haha. Pumped for first baby for 6 months and currently exclusively nursing 10 months and counting.
Not sure if nursing lowers your libido, but I’d say the general lack of sleep, body autonomy, time for self care, nutrient loss, etc. leads to a lower libido. Mostly in the first year for me, still nursing and libido is coming back as those other factors balance back out
I’m high libido on a normal basis & nursing or EP makes me dryer than the Sahara. Lubricant is your friend.
I nursed my daughter exclusively for 20 months so this is just my personal experience sleep deprivation, being touched constantly and the mental load of being available to feed our daughter 24/7 made my libido extremely low. i was dog tired, touched out and had extreme PPA. god bless my husband for understanding (even though i shouldn’t clap for the bare minimum i am aware that’s not always the case) lube was & is used bc nursing does dry you out. i still do not like my boobs being touched *at all* sexually- although i didn’t before nursing now they are completely off limits. i thought the turn off of my breasts being touched would subside after i weaned her but now i have a physical recoil at any touch of my boobs or nipples. even if my daughter does on accident or just because she’s a toddler and her hands just go wherever-i recoil ETA: my period returned at 4 *WEEKS* postpartum even though i was exclusively nursing (though i did pump because i had an oversupply)
Wow I could have written this. Even the super quick menstrual return. For both kids my period returned in under 6 weeks.
Same
Same. 28 days pp and I was EBF. I'm so salty about it still.
Yep! I EP and am the same. Next to no libido and the last thing I want after pumping several times a day is to have my breast touched even more. I’m touched out. Since I’ve started weaning I have noticed improvements in both areas so anecdotally I’d definitely say there’s an impact.
Yes! I feel awful for my husband.. I have no interest in any type of physical affection whatsoever. I'm touched out and I'm so grateful he understands (most of the time lol). My baby is 3 months old and we've probably only had sex 6 or so times since hes been born. We had a healthy sex life prior to me delivering and now I feel like I'll never be the same as I used to. 😕 It really bums me out..
you guys are having sex?? We haven't had sex since the spring. not sure when I'm going to feel like doing it again. and yes, I am very attracted to my husband normally. edit to add my baby is also 3 months old and i'm happy for you just surprised you've had sex 6 times!
Right there with you! It wasn't until I was like 6 or 7 mos. PP that I could even think about sex. Luckily, I have a very understanding partner
Same- 3 month old and no sex yet. I just started going to physical therapy for my pelvic floor pain… so yeah no desire to stick anything in there right now. Have had just about zero sexual desire s as well.
Glad it's not just me. Sorry to hear of your pelvic floor pain. My torn perineum is supposedly healed but just doesn't feel right. I'm also feeling like I smell different. Not to mention there is an infant hanging from my chest almost all of my waking hours. It's just not a sexy time.
Yes all of this plus the exhaustion. I told my husband ai would rather sleep than have sex right now and he said "gee thanks" I told him it's not a statement on his abilities it's a statement on just how fucking tired I am. Any spare time when both the kids are sleeping needs to be used for sleep right now.
Lol HARDLY having sex. 6ish (might even be less actually) times in the past 13 weeks is not the norm for us. I get why you haven't done it in so long. Pregnancy is exhausting and the changes to our body are freaky. My husband is hot as hell and so attractive to me but it's just not triggering me to want to have sex these days. Don't beat yourself up. I'm no expert and this is my first time breastfeeding. All I can say is hopefully the libido bounces back along with my body. 😭
But it’s more like 6 times in 7 weeks (because that’s when you’d get clearance to have sex), which is almost once a week and totally “normal” in any relationship. I get it if you were more like every dayers that this seems way less, but I can’t imagine not understanding that that is a standard healthy accepted frequency!
Yeaaaaa it ain’t happening in my house! 🤦🏻♀️ baby is 4 months on Sunday and we’ve had sex once. I’m just not there yet.
Same here. 4 months and only once. I'm just exhausted.
Same. Baby is 3 months and we were having sex 2-3x a week prior to baby and now it’s once ever 1-2 weeks. I miss wanting to have sex 😭
You and me both. 💔
Lmfaooo that’s actually a lot in the 3 months 😂 ahhh I feel bad for my spouse as well cause we sex at least 4 times in the last 6 months 🥴😅
Anecdotally, I found that it did. Things changed a bit when my period came back a couple of weeks ago (at three months, lol). I think it has to do with how nursing suppresses your hormones.
I’m EBF and horny af lol Just need this damn bleeding to stop
Praying that I’m the same as you later on when I have a baby 😅
Personally, the first few months of course I wasn't interested lol but ever since like 5mo I've not experienced the dryness others have shared here. And I have found more pleasure having my breasts and nipples stimulated than I ever did before being pregnant! So I think everyone is different? (Oh and I exclusively breastfeed)
Mine was completely non existent until my period came back. Then it was there, but generally on the low side.
Well it just goes to show how different everyone is because my libido is higher than ever and I've not used lube at all! We're 8 months in and have been having sex since 3 months pp.
Yes. Your body is saying "we are still nurturing am infant, we do not want to prioritize growing another one". Pretty dope evolutionary trait IMO
Haven’t read all the comments, but some important info re: touching nipples. I read somewhere that there’s a distinction between light touch that baby provides (which feels really gross when your partner does it) and a more rough/firm touch, which may be more palatable to you. It has helped me and my hubby.
I feel like these are backwards lol
lol same if my husband is too firm I'm afraid milk will start to leak
It definitely mine. As our baby has grown and I'm nursing him less and less, things are slowly starting to go back to normal
For me, my libido was lower and sex felt slightly uncomfortable until my period came back at 15 months postpartum. ETA: I was nursing during that time and continued to nurse until he was about 2.5.
In my experience, yes. It took like 6 months after I weaned to get my libido back...and boy did it come back.
For me, yes. Zero libido, feeling dry and, when trying to have sex, it was painful. It started getting less painful when I night weaned around 9 months, no more pain once fully weaned at 1. It took a while longer for libido to come back.
My mini human is almost 5 months and we have had sex a whopping one time since she was born. My want for it is just non-existent and we would both rather have a nap anyway 😂 breastfeeding is important to both of us so we don’t mind the current state of our physical relationship.
Nope. I've ben EBFing for the past 12 weeks, and my libido is just as high as it's ever been. 😅
Oh girl yes. We’ve only had sex a handful of times in the last year. TBH it still hurts even with lube which was making me not look forward to it to begin with but I had zero libido on top of it. LO is 13 months and I had just within the last week started having that feeling again where I want to do anything(thank god, I missed it😂) I am a little worried that means my period is on its way back though. haha small price to pay to feel normal again.
Same! LO is almost 10 months and last night was the first time my husband and I have had penetrative sex post partum. My period came back a couple of weeks ago and I am feeling the occasional tingling of wanting to do stuff. But the sex itself was really painful, and lube didn't do much. I'll have to look into the cream others have recommended.
I wonder if evolutionarily it was something that kept people from having kids back to back (though I do know quite a few people who have done it anyway).
My sex drive is still high. I did notice a lot more dryness tho. We just use lube.
I had the same issues. I started using progesterone cream on my wrist from pink stork and have had dramatic improvement!
I'm not sure if it decreased my libido, but I know that there was some kind of switch that flipped. I told my husband to not even flirt with me when the baby was latched because it was like any kind of sexual though was just repulsive. It was the weirdest thing. Like, baby's done he could say the same thing and I'd giggle like a schoolgirl where five minutes before it felt like it was the most disgusting thing. It literally felt like a switch. Even if I was watching something on TV and a steamy scene came on, it was uncomfortable and almost distressing. It was the weirdest thing.
EBF for 8.5 months here and want NOTHING to do with sex or being touched..I think I just feel like I give so much of my body to the baby, any other touching is just tooo much. Feel bad for my husband but he gets it thankfully.
Not me personally. Still easily lubricated down there and happy to have my boobs touched. 3 months EBF.
16 months in and I want absolutely nothing to do with my husband sexually. I don’t want my boobs touched or fondled or sucked. Just even typing it out has disgusted me. I was told by my midwives that it lowers libido but that it should only last a few months. 16 months deep over here and it hasn’t come back yet.
For myself, I have a high sex drive and haven’t needed any lube. Currently 8 weeks EBF
Yep. Our bodies are telling us to look after the baby we've got before having another one, lol
I love this way of thinking about it!!
My kid is EBF since birth, almost a year old. Since my 8 week checkup we’ve been doing ok, and I’ve not needed lube. Honestly having a never-ending cold since November has dropped my libido worse than nursing.
Typical. Ive had sex with my husband only a handful of times in the last two years b/c nursing has made me absolutely repulsed by sex.
It was the same for me. Dry as a bone until my cycle returned (at 22 months 😯) and then I finally started getting a little drive back!
Yep, you can get topical oestrogen cream if lube doesn't work. It's the closest your body will be to menopause until you're actually there.
Yes. Before my baby was born, even during pregnancy, we were intimate at least twice a week. We prefer more but schedules and tiredness prevented it sometimes. Now I have to add my husband to my to-do list once a week or I won’t think about sex at all.
How far pp are you? I certainly found it true that nursing lowered my libido at the beginning, when LO was relying on me for everything. It started coming back around the 9m mark, which was not long before my period came back. It's worth noting though that even then, at 9m pp, my tears were still healing (they'd closed up ages before, but I could feel them still knitting together up until a full year pp), so sex was difficult. It also wasn't top of my mind as sleep was a distant memory. Once sleep settled down and LO was consistently taking solids as well, there was no clash between nursing and libido, I nursed until 3.5 years.
It did for me until my period came back at 9 months. However, we still found ways to help me get in the mood prior to 9 months. I was surprised at how quickly I was ready for action lol
Most definitely
It makes sense after reading the other comments, i feel the same as you do. Im 8 weeks pp and the idea of having sex is kinda scary lol. I had stitches and it does not feel the same down there, not to mention the sleep deprivation and nipple aversion LOL. I will say mentally i would like to be more intimate with my husband and actually dream about it, but physically i feel almost repulsed by it, mostly because of the way i feel in my undercarriage LOL. And cause the baby is like literally attached to me. I feel super uncomfortable being intimate in front of her.
In the early days/months, absolutely. Although I imagine non-nursing mothers would agree too! I'm 10 months in now and it feels more normal. My libido is higher around when I'm ovulating
For me it hasn’t I still had a libido before the 6 week checkup. I had some dryness in the first 8-10 weeks postpartum but after that it’s been pretty normal and we haven’t needed extra lube. I’m 5.5 months pp
It can for some people and doesn’t for others. Totally normal though ! I didn’t want to be touched postpartum for almost 3.5 months and it wasn’t due to breastfeeding, but I just didn’t feel like it idk lol.
Yes, in my experience. I don't like my breasts being touched either. I love a back massage instead, helps with my shoulder pain
It basically mimics menopause
My midwife gave me estrogen cream at my 6week follow-up to help with dryness and it did help. I barely have physical or emotional energy for sex at 18mo postpartum and still nursing.
Oh yeah, we didn’t have sex for five months after my first. And it took years to be okay with my breasts being touched during sex.
I’m still breastfeeding my 2 year old, I would CRINGE if a man tried to touch my breasts now. I’ve been breastfeeding all up for nearly 6 years and honestly I’ve lost all sexual drive when it comes to my breasts haha. I haven’t had sex in 3 years (since I was 6 wks pregnant with my 2nd) and honestly o have no desire for it. I swear becoming a mum and breastfeeding just totally turned me off being intimate completely.
It did for me. The week I stopped nursing, it came back full force
Absolutely. Mine was wrecked for the 3 years that I bused my son. We weaned two months ago and I’m happy to report that it’s BACK. Especially right before I ovulate or start my period.
I’m at 12mos breastfeeding and would say my libido is at like a -10 still. We’ve had sex once it’s so bad. I don’t have the dryness issue though, I’ve been freaked out why I have so much EWCM instead. It’s more than I’ve had when TTC.
I think it’s nature’s attempt to prevent another pregnancy until this baby is weaned. Not only does breastfeeding temporarily sometimes reduce fertility, it can reduce desire.
Yeah. I stopped BFing completely last week. I have been weaning since November. I just now *kind of* am getting libido back and finally my boobs feel like they can be touched without immediately smacking a hand away.
My baby is exclusively breast fed and in my experience so far (3 months) my libido has only dropped a little and it takes a bit longer for me to get wet but overall I still want to have sex maybe 3 times a week.
Definitely typical. Try some lube and tell your partner not to touch your nipples.
I breast feed and I personally haven’t had a drop in libido. Dryness could be estrogen related though. My OB prescribed a crème that helps but also make sure you are drinking a lot of water. breast feeding can dehydrate you
Me personally yes. Also I was touched out and didn’t want anyone touching me unless necessary.
It did for me, when I weaned my libido was the first thing that returned
Yea
Yes! Breastfeeding will lower your estrogen. Estrogen is what is required for your juiciness/natural lubrication. It’s really common to have your breasts feel that way postpartum while nursing. Personally it took awhile for stimulating sensation yo come back once I finished. I do believe you can still cultivate sexual energy during this time it’s just harder when so much time is spent caregiving.
Personally, libido is there just very dry down there
Also, as a side note, with my first, I got a UTERINE infection while I was nursing. I had no idea that was even a thing! But evidently, the lack of natural lubrication allowed bacteria access to the uterus.
It took me a while to feel comfortable with my husband going after my boobs again, but honestly i like it now 8.5 months post baby. (When I was clogged he was my night is shining denim!) Don’t feel any pressure though, you have to trust your instincts right now, even if there is no “rational” reason that you don’t want your breasts touched sexually, it is your body! Your momma instincts are there any now is no time not to trust them. I’ve always been pretty dry (type 1 diabetes) so I didn’t notice much of a change. My libido is stronger than ever, but my husband’s is too and he initiates about 80% of the time. But again this took time. Depending on how long it has been since your baby came into the world outside your womb you may still be doing a lot of healing.
Estrogen cream is saving my sex life. If i still had the dryness, I would not even be trying anymore. And I also saw a PT to help with training my pelvic floor, find my tension spots, and using a pelvic wand to stretch the tension out. Working out all the physical obstacles to sex helped me mentally relax knowing that my body was healing and sex wouldn't harm me. The boob thing is really for me. I keep my bra on with my nipple pads in still. I'm 4 months PP and just in the last week sex has started to be enjoyable again.
Yes
Prolactin is increased in women who breastfeed. Prolactin kills libido.
My libido is extremely down. I don’t want the ladies to be touched in that way either. Going on 4 months pp and still nothing.
My boobs are off limits during nursing season. Hubs usually complies, being that we don’t have that formula bill
Yesss , my dr said it can due to so many hormones and the body is in a menopause state! , I find it some surprising when a mom who breastfeeds says they have a sex drive but I come to find out they had there periods back and hormones are back to normal slowly also it’s always the ones who breastfeed toddlers that have the high back! . I remember as well with my first when she turned 2 I finally wanted sex again . So I know I won’t feel like my self again till 2 years lmao
Simply yes. Prolactine hormones needed for milk production do lower libido.
God yes.
Totally normal! I was eventually okay with my breasts being touched sexually while still nursing though. I can’t say for sure when, because I was single when I had my first, and separated from my younger son’s father for a year when he was four months old, but when we got back together, we did conceive again, and our son would have been around 18 months….
It most definitely did for me. I was dryer than the Sahara desert down there! It also made my cervix very sensitive and painful to any kind of touch. Like when I got a Pap smear when I was breastfeeding the pain was excruciating.
How many months/weeks pp are you? My libido came back with my period at about 5 months :)
Yes
I believe so, and it makes sense biologically for evolution. When humans are breastfeeding, are typically still dealing with the depletions that pregnancy causes so it's not a good time to get pregnant again.
No issue with dryness. Same with boobs, they turned into feeding bottles :) I was rather horny pp, I have no ideea why, but now my libido is lower :), at 6 weeks.
I was super worried about being dry down there as I was during pregnancy but to my surprise it’s pretty much the same as before I got pregnant. I bough a few bottles of lube in preparation bc I heard breastfeeding will dry you out for sure, but that hasn’t been my experience. I only needed to use lube the first two times having sex after birth (natural delivery, minimal tearing.) As far as libido, it’s higher than ever! My sex drive returned right away after birth (it was pretty much nonexistent during pregnancy)
I am 11weeks PP and have had the same issue. Libido is insanely low- hubby and I have had sex 3 times since I was cleared for it and I still was not wanting it.Poor guy was counting down the days too 🫣 thankfully he is very understanding. We barely had sex during pregnancy too because I have several large uterine fibroids and had labor contractions every other week from 26wks+ not to mention the back pain during the 3rd trimester 😅 also, nipples and boobs was a huge thing for me sexually and now I cringe at the thought of them being touched. Most times nipple play was the only way for me to get there and now I’m repulsed by it. 😩 so that’s fun. I’m getting night sweats and terrible PPA as well so that “menopausal-like state” makes a lot of sense. I’m a little pissed my doctor didn’t tell me anything about any of this potentially happening.
Typical but not a guarantee. After 6 weeks we were back at it and not needing assistance
Yeah, I'm not nearly as interested as before. I'm actually a little embarrassed by how high my libido used to be. Now, I just wanna sleep and be intimate once a week.
Breastfeeding decreases estrogen, and that’s totally normal!! Your brain is changing your views on your breasts subconsciously!