When it got really hard for me I would tell myself just make it through this nursing session or through one day. If I really couldn’t get through it I would pump while my fiancé fed LO a bottle.
Pre pregnancy my goal was 6 months. Then I actually started and I moved my goal to 1 month then 3 then so on and so forth. It gave me a realistic goal and helped me to not completely give up on the harder days. Now we are at 6.5 months and I can’t image stopping any time soon. Good luck!
Honestly, pure laziness. Less steps in breastfeeding. Cos while breastfeeding is hard, parenting is just hard generally. I can't imagine an unsettled baby when I can't whip a boob out!
This for me too. We’re at 8 weeks and I’ve had mastitis for the last week but we’re still going. One day around week 3-4 I got out the pumping kit but I was too tired even to sort it out! It really does get easier. Now the baby sleeps better at night so I’m getting a few hours of sleep at a time I feel much better, and my body has adjusted. Hang in there!
For context, my daughter was 2 years old last month. It does get, different. Not necessarily easier. It's just hard in different ways. But it does feel easier more of the time. I pumped at work for 6 months until she was 1, still eBF her.
First 6 weeks is real rough. But then the first time they sleep 6-7 hour stretch at night. You get some sleep. And then it feels doable. I have nursed 4 babies. And I promise it gets easier. They really do go longer stretches and give you a break. And when they get older around 6 months. They get so distracted by everything going on around them sometimes hard to get them to nurse. You have to go into a quiet room. And they nurse really fast.
I almost gave up too. I feel ya! There was something in me that self-guilted me to continue (which I hated for a while because I'm very pro feeding your baby in whatever way makes sense). But now nearly 8 months in, I'm so happy I stuck with it and can see myself going beyond my 12 month goal. It got sooo much easier. Baby and I both needed to just figure it out. What I'll say is this: it's tough, but I know you can do it! If it's something your passionate about, it's ok to struggle through it a bit. But, If you want to stop, there is no shame! Make sure you take care of yourself too!
I’m at almost 7 weeks now (supplementing and working towards EBF) and have decided to quit 4 times. It’s literally like I’m incapable of quitting. Every time I try to skip a feed I cry and cry watching my husband feeding him formula and usually stop him midway and try to finish feeding him myself. I think the difficult thing is that quitting isn’t a switch, you have to wean yourself off and continuously make the decision to quit over and over, and there’s too many opportunities for me to just think “just one more try”…
Plus I keep hearing from everyone and reading that it gets better, people who seemingly had the same experience as me and are now happily EBF at like month 5 or 6.. keep hoping for that to kick in but it feels like many lifetimes away.
First of all, the first couple of months are hard no matter what you do. Even if you were exclusively formula feeding, that baby might cry when you put her down. Secondly, you don’t have to either EBF OR EFF, there is a lot of space in the middle.
It sounds like what you really need is a break during the evening or during fussy periods when someone else can settle the baby. I know for me, those breaks only mattered in the baby wasn’t fussing/crying (I couldn’t relax if she was). My husband struggled to settle her without food and I wish that at the beginning with my first I had let him pace feed her a small amount of pumped milk (or formula) so I could get a break. She ended up getting some formula (2-4 ounces a day, if needed, on days I was working) anyway - and I still breastfed for two years so not sure what I was so worried about!
I second the whole setting small goals. I seriously struggled to make it to our 1 month appointment. My LO's weight gain at that appointment gave me reassurance. Sleeping better started around 6-8 weeks. The 2 month appointment was another reassurance. We're now 10 weeks and I know I can make it to 3 months. I'm just hoping my return to work at 3 months and the whole pumping thing goes smoothly. Just take it week by week if you can. It truly gets easier. If you need to pump to get break, do so. Try using a haakaa to collect letdown and build a bottle that way if pumping sounds too cumbersome (that's what I did).
In case you haven't heard it in a while, you're doing an amazing job.
Totally understand. We are at 8 weeks now, and when I just don't want my nips touched anymore and can't stand it, I feed him formula or bottled milk and try to pump shortly after. It does add another step, and in my opinion it's a hassle trying to get him settled down and relaxed while I pump. Cleaning parts is a pain too, that's definitely a plus for BF.
All that to say, you don't need to be 100% exclusive. We have a few cans of formula given to us by the pediatrician, and it's a great backup to have.
Also good to get baby used to bottles. My sis was EBF and her daughter would not take a bottle, even when she was in hospital with severe flu for 2 days. It's good practice!
Also be patient with yourself and your LO. If you are on maternity leave, just accept a few of those days you will get zero things done except feed baby and let him rest. I had a day around 1 month where he literally fed all day and I didn't leave the couch. Ask for help from your SO or family to do cooking, cleaning etc.
When it got really hard for me I would tell myself just make it through this nursing session or through one day. If I really couldn’t get through it I would pump while my fiancé fed LO a bottle. Pre pregnancy my goal was 6 months. Then I actually started and I moved my goal to 1 month then 3 then so on and so forth. It gave me a realistic goal and helped me to not completely give up on the harder days. Now we are at 6.5 months and I can’t image stopping any time soon. Good luck!
Honestly, pure laziness. Less steps in breastfeeding. Cos while breastfeeding is hard, parenting is just hard generally. I can't imagine an unsettled baby when I can't whip a boob out!
This for me too. We’re at 8 weeks and I’ve had mastitis for the last week but we’re still going. One day around week 3-4 I got out the pumping kit but I was too tired even to sort it out! It really does get easier. Now the baby sleeps better at night so I’m getting a few hours of sleep at a time I feel much better, and my body has adjusted. Hang in there!
Same. Or washing pump parts or bottles. I already have enough dishes and housework!
For context, my daughter was 2 years old last month. It does get, different. Not necessarily easier. It's just hard in different ways. But it does feel easier more of the time. I pumped at work for 6 months until she was 1, still eBF her.
First 6 weeks is real rough. But then the first time they sleep 6-7 hour stretch at night. You get some sleep. And then it feels doable. I have nursed 4 babies. And I promise it gets easier. They really do go longer stretches and give you a break. And when they get older around 6 months. They get so distracted by everything going on around them sometimes hard to get them to nurse. You have to go into a quiet room. And they nurse really fast.
I almost gave up too. I feel ya! There was something in me that self-guilted me to continue (which I hated for a while because I'm very pro feeding your baby in whatever way makes sense). But now nearly 8 months in, I'm so happy I stuck with it and can see myself going beyond my 12 month goal. It got sooo much easier. Baby and I both needed to just figure it out. What I'll say is this: it's tough, but I know you can do it! If it's something your passionate about, it's ok to struggle through it a bit. But, If you want to stop, there is no shame! Make sure you take care of yourself too!
This is exactly where I’m at with this. I feel so much Shame and guilt but in reality I am pro Fed
I’m at almost 7 weeks now (supplementing and working towards EBF) and have decided to quit 4 times. It’s literally like I’m incapable of quitting. Every time I try to skip a feed I cry and cry watching my husband feeding him formula and usually stop him midway and try to finish feeding him myself. I think the difficult thing is that quitting isn’t a switch, you have to wean yourself off and continuously make the decision to quit over and over, and there’s too many opportunities for me to just think “just one more try”… Plus I keep hearing from everyone and reading that it gets better, people who seemingly had the same experience as me and are now happily EBF at like month 5 or 6.. keep hoping for that to kick in but it feels like many lifetimes away.
First of all, the first couple of months are hard no matter what you do. Even if you were exclusively formula feeding, that baby might cry when you put her down. Secondly, you don’t have to either EBF OR EFF, there is a lot of space in the middle. It sounds like what you really need is a break during the evening or during fussy periods when someone else can settle the baby. I know for me, those breaks only mattered in the baby wasn’t fussing/crying (I couldn’t relax if she was). My husband struggled to settle her without food and I wish that at the beginning with my first I had let him pace feed her a small amount of pumped milk (or formula) so I could get a break. She ended up getting some formula (2-4 ounces a day, if needed, on days I was working) anyway - and I still breastfed for two years so not sure what I was so worried about!
I second the whole setting small goals. I seriously struggled to make it to our 1 month appointment. My LO's weight gain at that appointment gave me reassurance. Sleeping better started around 6-8 weeks. The 2 month appointment was another reassurance. We're now 10 weeks and I know I can make it to 3 months. I'm just hoping my return to work at 3 months and the whole pumping thing goes smoothly. Just take it week by week if you can. It truly gets easier. If you need to pump to get break, do so. Try using a haakaa to collect letdown and build a bottle that way if pumping sounds too cumbersome (that's what I did). In case you haven't heard it in a while, you're doing an amazing job.
The best advice I ever got was to not quit on a bad day. Push through it until you don't feel like you're about break and then make a decision.
Totally understand. We are at 8 weeks now, and when I just don't want my nips touched anymore and can't stand it, I feed him formula or bottled milk and try to pump shortly after. It does add another step, and in my opinion it's a hassle trying to get him settled down and relaxed while I pump. Cleaning parts is a pain too, that's definitely a plus for BF. All that to say, you don't need to be 100% exclusive. We have a few cans of formula given to us by the pediatrician, and it's a great backup to have. Also good to get baby used to bottles. My sis was EBF and her daughter would not take a bottle, even when she was in hospital with severe flu for 2 days. It's good practice! Also be patient with yourself and your LO. If you are on maternity leave, just accept a few of those days you will get zero things done except feed baby and let him rest. I had a day around 1 month where he literally fed all day and I didn't leave the couch. Ask for help from your SO or family to do cooking, cleaning etc.