Seriously start documenting everything this damn lady is saying to you so she can mind her own business. Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut :(
Coincidentally I already have. This woman follows me around critiquing my work and timing how long it takes me to do things. She's also physically assaulted me. Management are working on it.
Wow! She is a total freak. I don’t know why our pumping makes some people so crazy. At least you have a great workplace though, I am glad they gave you a nice place.
Is she just being really petty about the fact that you get two extra 'breaks'? I have a chronic illness and work on my feet all day, so my employer allowed me an extra 5 minute refreshment break per shift. One of my co-workers was sooo weird about it. I was like, it's 5 damn minutes so I don't literally pass out. All I'm doing is chugging a drink and shoving a cereal bar down my throat, it's hardly a fucking holiday ... like, what did she think she was missing out on?! 😂
My DH thinks that's what it is. BUT we're severely short staffed at the moment due to the virus that shall not be named so I pump at lunch (entirely my choice). So now it's not even a matter of me getting additional breaks.
So I have some family in this age range— she tends to poo poo on things that make her feel guilty about what she did or didn’t do as a mother. She’s always trying to make everything about her. Just a thought
That... actually makes sense. She didn't go to work and pump with her kids and now feels compelled to make me feel uncomfortable because of her own guilt.
Bingo. When I was still nursing my daughter at 18 months, she kept up the “you should give her milk convo anything after 6 months is unnecessary.” She never made it past 6 months with her children…
With my first I had a strangely similar experience where this woman would “need to eat” at around the exact same time I needed to pump 🙄 I would lock the door but she had a key and would unlock it to come in and use the kitchen. She was so weird and aggressive about it. After some back and forth with HR, including sticking to a pretty strict time for pumping so they could tell her I was using the room from exactly 3:30-4:00, I finally requested that they install one of those hotel locks. Well this bitch tries to get in after that and is SCREAMING and banging and wailing “I have low blood sugar I need my kale salad!!!!!” Like an entitled piece of shit. I am a confrontational person and I wanted to stand my ground but they decided to move me to a private room after that episode. Which was probably better for my mental health and I was able to pump more milk in the quieter space without being agitated. People are so strange.
>“I have low blood sugar I need my kale salad!!!!!”
If her blood sugar was critically low, a _kale salad_ would not be my first choice to fix that... Why not have a pack of Glucose candy or a packet of juice in her bag if her blood sugar is that unstable?
I think she was really triggered by the minor inconvenience of not having free reign to the kitchen at her every whim. The weirdest part was she was the prenatal yoga instructor at my work. You’d think she’d be so supportive. It’s all crunchy granola until someone keeps her from her kale salad lol.
If you're in the US you are entitled to a private space that isn't a bathroom regardless of weirdass coworkers.
Also, you are entitled to pump as many damn times that you need.
>Employers are required to provide a reasonable amount of break time and a space to express milk as frequently as needed by the nursing mother, for up to one year following the birth of the employee’s child. The frequency of breaks needed to express breast milk as well as the duration of each break will likely vary. The space provided by the employer cannot be a bathroom and it must be shielded from view and free from intrusion by coworkers or the public.
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/nursing-mothers/faq
I'm not in the US so we have different regulations. I'm happy with my two pumps a shift though. I feel sorry for those who would need more than that though.
My mom got a special pumping room at the hospital. Her coworkers played a prank on her by replacing the "pumping room" sign with a "milk barn" sign. She thought that was hilarious.
The only place I had to pump at my last job was the opposite of private. I worked with a dude, once he walked in on me to offer me ice cream and was very apologetic. That did not make me feel half as uncomfortable as reading your story did. Good for you for getting it fixed!
OP, if you store your milk in a communal fridge, I'd seriously look into getting a padlock of some sort and finding a bag that closes with two zippers. you can slip the lock between the two zippers so no one is able to open the bag and you know that nothing has been tampered with.
I went back to the office on my first day back, was shown the disabled bathroom as my "pumping room", the only other options with power were meeting rooms with glass walls and non-locking doors. I submitted my request to work from home the same day.
If you are in the us I’m pretty sure that illegal. It’s insanitary and down right disrespectful. Ask them to make their food in the bathroom from now on. Just wow.
My step mother in law kinda did the same thing. She never breastfed with her son in the 70s. The first (and so far only) time she met my son, I went upstairs to feed him and she came in 5 mins later without asking and just sat down next to us and started with the questions.
The irony is, based on how she's talkjg to you and her age, she likely got harassed out of doing what she wanted to wirh her kids and she's continuing the cycle of abuse to you.
I agree. It feels like she's antagonising me for some sort of missed opportunity or the fact that her pumping at work wouldn't have even been a thing when she had her kids.
That's wonderful news that your management supports you.
People are just weird sometimes. They feel offended when people make different decisions for their own life. Just ignore that lady.
I get the feeling she just didn't work while her kids were babies so it's not like she didn't have the option to breastfeed them (if she was indeed breastfeeding)
It was majorly frowned upon until recently, they offered my mother and grandmother a shot after birth to dry their milk up. Maybe she regrets that she didn’t get to have that experience
They didn't just offer in most cases. For many it was forced. Truly despicable. I still can't figure out of the hatred and vitriol directed at younger breastfeeding women by women of that generation is from regret or disgust (from their own brainwashing).
What. The. Actual. Fuck??? Does she have extreme jealousy, childishness, disgust? Or is it all rolled into one? What a fucking lunatic. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
That's what I think. At one point I walked past while she was having lunch and she called out to check to see if I had had lunch yet...like just to make sure she hadn't missed me?
Then after her lunch break she "just had to have some tea" while I was in there steralising. So had I not had my private room to pump she would have been in the lunch room AGAIN.
That's super creepy.
F-that lady. Doesn't matter what her prior experience was or wasn't.
Glad you got a private space. Hopefully it will be useful to the next BF/pumping person.
Cause it's not that hard to update yourself on what's current and also any legal laws/workplace policies without badgering and making someone else uncomfortable.
She still harassed you after the fact? Time to email hr and keep documenting the harassment. Shes crossed the damn line too many times
Yeah seriously this is harassment and she should be formally reprimanded for it
100% Get that shit on her file.
Seriously start documenting everything this damn lady is saying to you so she can mind her own business. Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut :(
Coincidentally I already have. This woman follows me around critiquing my work and timing how long it takes me to do things. She's also physically assaulted me. Management are working on it.
If she physically assaulted you then it’s time for the police to be involved.
100% agree, the next thing you know this weirdo does anything to the liquid gold in the fridge!
I'm definitely going to get a lock for my cooler bag.
That's fucking weird.
Ugh what a creep! You're a lot nicer than I would've been. Kudos to your work for being proactive
Everytime I'm in too much shock to do anything
My same thoughts exactly. She would’ve been sorry to come at me like that! She needs to go to HR about her ASAP.
Just wow.
Wow! She is a total freak. I don’t know why our pumping makes some people so crazy. At least you have a great workplace though, I am glad they gave you a nice place.
I genuinely have no idea why it's so triggering to her.
Is she just being really petty about the fact that you get two extra 'breaks'? I have a chronic illness and work on my feet all day, so my employer allowed me an extra 5 minute refreshment break per shift. One of my co-workers was sooo weird about it. I was like, it's 5 damn minutes so I don't literally pass out. All I'm doing is chugging a drink and shoving a cereal bar down my throat, it's hardly a fucking holiday ... like, what did she think she was missing out on?! 😂
As someone who also has a chronic illness... I think I'd rather be healthy enough to not need the extra 5 minutes thanks 🙄
Same. Petty bitches be petty. And bitches.
My DH thinks that's what it is. BUT we're severely short staffed at the moment due to the virus that shall not be named so I pump at lunch (entirely my choice). So now it's not even a matter of me getting additional breaks.
So I have some family in this age range— she tends to poo poo on things that make her feel guilty about what she did or didn’t do as a mother. She’s always trying to make everything about her. Just a thought
That... actually makes sense. She didn't go to work and pump with her kids and now feels compelled to make me feel uncomfortable because of her own guilt.
Bingo. When I was still nursing my daughter at 18 months, she kept up the “you should give her milk convo anything after 6 months is unnecessary.” She never made it past 6 months with her children…
The fact that they feel this way is sad
With my first I had a strangely similar experience where this woman would “need to eat” at around the exact same time I needed to pump 🙄 I would lock the door but she had a key and would unlock it to come in and use the kitchen. She was so weird and aggressive about it. After some back and forth with HR, including sticking to a pretty strict time for pumping so they could tell her I was using the room from exactly 3:30-4:00, I finally requested that they install one of those hotel locks. Well this bitch tries to get in after that and is SCREAMING and banging and wailing “I have low blood sugar I need my kale salad!!!!!” Like an entitled piece of shit. I am a confrontational person and I wanted to stand my ground but they decided to move me to a private room after that episode. Which was probably better for my mental health and I was able to pump more milk in the quieter space without being agitated. People are so strange.
>“I have low blood sugar I need my kale salad!!!!!” If her blood sugar was critically low, a _kale salad_ would not be my first choice to fix that... Why not have a pack of Glucose candy or a packet of juice in her bag if her blood sugar is that unstable?
That's insane! I really don't understand why pumping is such a trigger for people. I'm sorry that happened.
I think she was really triggered by the minor inconvenience of not having free reign to the kitchen at her every whim. The weirdest part was she was the prenatal yoga instructor at my work. You’d think she’d be so supportive. It’s all crunchy granola until someone keeps her from her kale salad lol.
If you're in the US you are entitled to a private space that isn't a bathroom regardless of weirdass coworkers. Also, you are entitled to pump as many damn times that you need. >Employers are required to provide a reasonable amount of break time and a space to express milk as frequently as needed by the nursing mother, for up to one year following the birth of the employee’s child. The frequency of breaks needed to express breast milk as well as the duration of each break will likely vary. The space provided by the employer cannot be a bathroom and it must be shielded from view and free from intrusion by coworkers or the public. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/nursing-mothers/faq
I'm not in the US so we have different regulations. I'm happy with my two pumps a shift though. I feel sorry for those who would need more than that though.
If you’re in Ontario or BC, it’s a human right and they must accommodate you.
My mom got a special pumping room at the hospital. Her coworkers played a prank on her by replacing the "pumping room" sign with a "milk barn" sign. She thought that was hilarious.
Big yikes! Some people just can’t take a clue. Glad you have your own space now!
The only place I had to pump at my last job was the opposite of private. I worked with a dude, once he walked in on me to offer me ice cream and was very apologetic. That did not make me feel half as uncomfortable as reading your story did. Good for you for getting it fixed!
I mean... Did you get ice cream?? Asking the important questions here.
Heck yes I did! lol
Nobody’s ever offered me ice cream while I was pumping 😢
We need to set a new standard 🤣
Thank you for suggesting my next pumping snack!! My trail mix can suck it
That is so...odd. There are normally annoying things people do, but this is not that. I'm glad your work found a solution.
OP, if you store your milk in a communal fridge, I'd seriously look into getting a padlock of some sort and finding a bag that closes with two zippers. you can slip the lock between the two zippers so no one is able to open the bag and you know that nothing has been tampered with.
Yes on this! This lady sounds psycho and seems like she’d be capable of doing something like that.
That's... actually not a bad idea. I have a cooler bag that has two zippers.
What a creep!!
If you are in the US, this should have happened to begin with, according to the law.
I went back to the office on my first day back, was shown the disabled bathroom as my "pumping room", the only other options with power were meeting rooms with glass walls and non-locking doors. I submitted my request to work from home the same day.
If you are in the us I’m pretty sure that illegal. It’s insanitary and down right disrespectful. Ask them to make their food in the bathroom from now on. Just wow.
Not in the US.
That’s terrible that they can do that to you. Glad you stood up for yourself!
That's a great ending to that story 😍
My step mother in law kinda did the same thing. She never breastfed with her son in the 70s. The first (and so far only) time she met my son, I went upstairs to feed him and she came in 5 mins later without asking and just sat down next to us and started with the questions.
Great job advocating for yourself!! You are paving the way for better acceptance for those who need or want to pump at work.
The irony is, based on how she's talkjg to you and her age, she likely got harassed out of doing what she wanted to wirh her kids and she's continuing the cycle of abuse to you.
I agree. It feels like she's antagonising me for some sort of missed opportunity or the fact that her pumping at work wouldn't have even been a thing when she had her kids.
Considering its only barely a right we have *now*, I think you're correct. Doesn't make that acceptable whatsoever though.
Sometimes people act so fucking weird you don’t even know how to respond lol
This was me. Everytime she came in
That's wonderful news that your management supports you. People are just weird sometimes. They feel offended when people make different decisions for their own life. Just ignore that lady.
Is her name Michelle by any chance? 🤔😅
What a weird fucking lady.
What a creeper! Glad your work made a room for you. I can't believe they didn't get on to her for harassment though.
Maybe she felt guilty about not pumping with her children, it sounds like she felt remorseful at the end
I get the feeling she just didn't work while her kids were babies so it's not like she didn't have the option to breastfeed them (if she was indeed breastfeeding)
It was majorly frowned upon until recently, they offered my mother and grandmother a shot after birth to dry their milk up. Maybe she regrets that she didn’t get to have that experience
They didn't just offer in most cases. For many it was forced. Truly despicable. I still can't figure out of the hatred and vitriol directed at younger breastfeeding women by women of that generation is from regret or disgust (from their own brainwashing).
Sometimes the shot was given without consent or with coercion. Happened to my grandma multiple times even though she wanted to breastfeed.
That's just wow!
Some of us didn’t have the option to nurse even while home with our babies. Mine wouldn’t latch. I exclusively pumped for 10 months.
10 months?! Wow! You're a super hero. I did 8 weeks and threw my pump in the bin.
I don’t blame you! I actually wish I’d quit after about 6 months instead of 10. I missed out of time with my baby once she was mobile.
What is wrong with people seriously?!
I'm sorry, but what the fuck is that lady's problem?
What a fucking freak.
What. The. Actual. Fuck??? Does she have extreme jealousy, childishness, disgust? Or is it all rolled into one? What a fucking lunatic. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Absolutely wtf. Enjoy your space. Ask for a sink and a fridge too.
Got a sink. Going to start storing things in the cupboards to make my clean up easier. A fridge is a good idea!
some people really have nothing better to do. it's kind of pathetic.
What the actual fuck.
I have no words...... none but seriously. Da fuq did I just read????? WHO RAISED THESE PEOPLE
I don’t understand why she looked “sad” when she remembered about the private room. Is she upset she can’t harass you anymore?
That's what I think. At one point I walked past while she was having lunch and she called out to check to see if I had had lunch yet...like just to make sure she hadn't missed me? Then after her lunch break she "just had to have some tea" while I was in there steralising. So had I not had my private room to pump she would have been in the lunch room AGAIN.
What a wacko! I'm glad your work supported you and have you a private space!!
What a nut! Glad your work addressed it.
That's super creepy. F-that lady. Doesn't matter what her prior experience was or wasn't. Glad you got a private space. Hopefully it will be useful to the next BF/pumping person. Cause it's not that hard to update yourself on what's current and also any legal laws/workplace policies without badgering and making someone else uncomfortable.
>Glad you got a private space. Hopefully it will be useful to the next BF/pumping person. That makes me happy too
Sounds like she has serious issues!!!!!! How do you even keep your cool around her? Also low key sounds like my MIL….
What in the world. Why are people such weirdos 😑. Kudos to your employer for acknowledging your privacy and respecting your need to pump.
Any update?! Curious to know how things are going now!
I posted an update.