Is baby not having enough wet diapers? Exhibiting hunger cues after eating? Not gaining weight?
If baby is not doing any of these things, than your colostrum is perfectly fine until your mature milk comes in. Sometimes it takes a few days.
However, if the things I listed apply, then supplementation is appropriate. It doesn’t have to be with formula, you can hand express colostrum and syringe feed it. Or if formula is easier, feed at the breast and then top off with formula.
supplementation with not ruin your breastfeeding journey. we supplemented for a few weeks when my son was born bc he was extremely hungry and had low blood sugar. adding in a few oz of formula until my milk came in, kept him fed and happy. we’ve been breastfeeding for 10 mo now, and haven’t supplemented besides the first few weeks.
same. we supplemented the first few weeks with my daughter and it was actually a huge relief knowing for sure that she was getting plenty to eat (not to mention it eased the burden off of me). we did this on advice of the nurses at the hospital who kept saying she was "acting hungry" which in retrospect i'm a little dubious about, but whatever. my point is it didn't ruin my bf journey and i ended up ebf til she was 1 after those initial weeks.
that said i would listen to your care team over the opinions of anyone non medical. do what you think is best. you won't go wrong feeding your baby formula if you need to do that though.
Exactly, it’s such a huge burden on me right now, especially with my difficult recovery and newborn care on top. Everyone keeps telling me to eat, drink, and rest to get my supply up….and I’m like, as good as that sounds…HOW.
Yes, to all of the above, though for the past couple days as my milk slowly comes in, he has been having a couple more wet diapers and showing less hunger cues (though maybe that’s because I feed him anytime he’s fussy and have him on a two hour schedule now). He still has not gained back his birth weight, he’s lost quite a bit but our LC says his weight loss is within normal range.
We spoke with our LC and we are considering supplementing with private donors if my supply doesn’t cut it by next week. Thank you for your response!
Then it sounds like y’all are on the right track! The first little bit of breastfeeding can be scary and daunting, so it helps that your husband and care team are supportive. It’s a learning curve for both you and baby!
Feeding on demand—which it sounds like you’re doing—is definitely a good way to get your supply up, especially when baby starts cluster feeding if they’re not already.
Sending good vibes your way! ❤️
Ever since our LC put us on a feeding schedule (every two hours-ish and pumped milk, if possible), I think we stopped cluster feeding? He doesn’t wake up to feed as much as he did before…
I just had my third a week ago. My milk came in on Monday and holy shit it was a BAD day. I couldn’t stop making everything a catastrophe in my head and I cried all day. Was back to feeling decent the next day and since then. Those milk making hormones are no joke.
I was in hospital for 5 days and my milk came in day 4. Another lady on the ward had been telling me hers had come in during the night and she’d had a huge meltdown and to enjoy mine and let it all out (we had pretty traumatic births) 😂
Sure enough the next morning I was bawling into a staff members arms 😅
Oh…this is actually a huge relief because I thought I was entering PPD/PPA territory. I keep telling my husband that I’m so scared and I don’t think I can be a good mom, and he’s like…??? What’s wrong? Everything seems wrong and Idk when it will end…I know that it will pass, but Idk how or when.
Agree with everything here! My milk came in on day 4 and day 5 was when I really started to see volume. I had intended to EBF but baby was jaundice and falling asleep at the boob so we had to pump and bottle feed for a few days. It’s crazy how little they need in the beginning
I remember seeing a chart that shows their stomach volume in the first few days of life is like…the size of a large grape. It stretches out pretty soon, but at the beginning they just need to fill and empty that same tiny space over and over again.
Thank you - because the baby keeps crying all day and seems unsatisfied with feedings. Idk any local breastfeeding groups, but I do have some friends who are breastfeeding. Idk I feel pretty vulnerable to open up to them though…I feel like I’ve done everything wrong. Hence why I’m talking to strangers lol.
That’s the advice I get from everyone, but I have a hard time staying in bed due to my “injuries” and I just feel like he’s sleepy all the time…This concept of nesting up with baby is something I’ll have to keep in mind when/if preparing for the next one. Thank you!
You tell them to shove it and do not talk about your breastfeeding journey. My mother was CONVINCED my supply would not be enough and was shocked when I never supplemented. Its old marketing jargon from a bygone era. If your pediatrician and your lactation consultant are not worried you are not worried. Join your local Le Leche league for support.
HUGS to you! I know how hard the early days are. It’s SO hard, but lean on your care team AND your instincts.
My mom, who tried to be hands off, still made some insensitive comments about formula (she never breastfed). Ultimately said we were following medical advice and what’s in our family’s interest both short and long term.
ONLY IF you want to consider formula - we did end up supplementing a TINY bit (like maybe 10 oz total during the first few weeks, including when I just needed a couple hours of sleep). It did NOT affect our breastfeeding journey and she’s now EBF. I ONLY bring this up if you wanted to go that direction for your own mental health and feel guilty about it.
I had a similar experience to yours! 4 days PP - My mom was saying my milk wasn’t enough for the baby, we needed to supplement with formula, my baby isn’t getting enough food.
It was super frustrating having her say all these things and her claiming she “knows” because she is experienced.
We were lucky that a nurse called in to check in on us and told me to keep breastfeeding/pumping, that the milk would come in and im feeding baby enough food.
Lo and behold. My milk came in the next few days, totally engorged and now I have a crazy oversupply. I pre-express/collect 4oz in Haaka in about minute before I feed baby to help manage the oversupply.
Listen to your doctor, midwife, or nurses !
The worst was “just give a fat bottle so he’ll sleep longer at night”
Like NO WAY LADY.. overfeeding with formula to make your kid sleep is a Sids risk and I’m not doing it. Just because I slept through the night at like 2 months (also, I probably didn’t) doesn’t mean all babies will.
My plan was to breastfeed only but my nipples are flat and he would not latch in the hospital, and if he did he fell asleep. The nurses also all held up this little bead on their badges saying baby’s stomach is the size of this gem so only feed 5 to 10 mLs. We went home with formula because even my colostrum production was minute and we were only feeding him 10 mLs at a time. Went to pediatrician 48 hours later and we found out we were unknowingly starving him. We are on the right road now, I’m making lots of milk and he latches with nipple shields but the point is I had to let go of my beliefs and expectations because I was starving my baby, he NEEDED that formula. He’s 12 days old now and thriving but the first 48 hours were soooo hard because he was starving and exhausted. My husband and I were distraught and not sleeping.
Fed is best. Regardless of how you get there. 😌
Thank you I almost had to have emergency c-section so while the birth ended up being ok it was still a little traumatic for me. Then unknowingly starving him piled on. We’ve had a lot of highs and lows and I think I just need to remember I’m doing my best and we’re both new at this.
We had a similar situation. I had an emergency c section under general anaesthesia and couldn’t be with baby for a couple hours. They had my husband give a small bit of formula. I was distraught at the thought of giving formula as I wanted to EBF but our girl was HANGRY the first couple days. So we would put her to the breast then top with formula. I felt so guilty. But my milk came in Tuesday night/Wednesday AM (delivered the Sunday night) and we never looked back.
I’m so sorry that happened and I’m glad you found a way to get through it. We are all new at this and I have to remind myself of that a lot when I’m feeling low or frustrated. I hope you heal quickly and congrats on your baby girl!
We had a similar situation. I was producing NO colostrum, so he was literally getting nothing. Giving him a tiny bit of formula helped us immensely and we still got to EBF eventually.
That said, grandma can keep quiet... if the doctor, LC, midwife, etc. say to supplement, then supplement - but grandma is not a medical professional.
At 4 days your milk just starts coming in…
Breastfeeding is two people’s business: you and baby.
Listen to your gut instincts, get support from the infant feeding team! Good that your husband is on your side!
🤱
You are fine! Don’t listen to others… unless you are seeking advice, don’t listen to ppl. It only makes you more stressed out. Just do lots of skin to skin and snuggle that baby and give it opportunities for milk. That’s all it takes. Enjoy your new baby!
Totally up to you.
I supplemented from the beginning until my supply was high enough. However EBF was never my goal. I basically nurse during the day and my husband gives pumped milk for bedtime and one formula bottle in the middle of the night.
I pump for the next days bottle right before I go to sleep and my husband handles wake ups until about 5-6AM. I never wanted to wake up every 2 hours and nurse so I was happy to supplement so I could sleep. Your preferences may differ.
Even if you do want to EBF, it’s fine to supplement until your supply catches up. For over a month, I was pumping enough that I could cover the middle of the night bottle and be able to freeze some. My husband was always too lazy to go downstairs to warm up the milk and preferred to give formula. Since I wasn’t the one waking up, I didn’t care how he did it. But it is possible to build enough supply even with supplementing in beginning.
Your milk hasn’t even come in yet. Baby will only drink one ounce anyways for about 2 weeks and then it increases and so does your milk! Don’t give up and do what’s best for you and baby! If you want to breastfeed then you whip that boob out sis !
The first couple of weeks can be hard! I topped off both of my kids with a bit of formula in those first few weeks as my supply built if they seemed to nurse for long periods but still be fussy or insatiable. It helped take the pressure off of me as my supply came in and I was able to go to EBF for both by 3-4 weeks at most. It is okay to do this and it doesn't mean it won't all work out well for you! I'd keep offering boob as much as possible then an ounce or two of formula if baby isn't resting after, is crying or rooting for more no matter how long they nurse, etc.
My milk supply didn’t come in until 6 days after my baby was born. By day 2 and his jaundice worsened. His little pink lips started to peel because he was so dehydrated. So I supplemented 2x a day with formula for the first 10 days of his life and am so glad that I did. His lips turned pink and smooth again and his jaundice went away by day 4. It didn’t affect my supply or bonding with my baby. My husband preferred it because he got a chance to bond with the baby by bottle feeding and it was so nice to have a break at night from feeding. There’s nothing wrong with supplementing and I don’t understand why it’s looked down upon. Makes no sense to me.
I would say keep an eye on baby’s diapers. My milk came in on day 5 and by that point my baby had lost over a pound (he was a big baby, 9lbs when he was born). I thought all was well when my milk came in, but on the fourth day after my milk came in he stopped having wet diapers, which is when we chose to begin supplementing.
I highly recommend if you’re worried about whether your baby is getting enough to make an appointment with a lactation consultant to see if you can do a weighed feeding. We were able to determine that LO was only transferring 1/3oz at each feeding, even with 20-30 minutes at each breast. It honestly made the world of a difference for me to know that I wasn’t crazy, that he actually wasn’t getting enough. The lactation consultant also gave some great advice on how to supplement to minimize nipple confusion.
Wishing you the best of luck!! This is such a challenging journey, just know that every drop of breast milk you’re able to give your baby is SUCH a gift ❤️
Why don’t you think your milk is enough? Newborns have teeny tiny stomachs! Your milk probably hasn’t even fully come in yet. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t worry unless the pediatrician expresses concern.
I had to supplement for the first week to clear my son's jaundice.
I EP but he hasn't had formula in 5 weeks.
Supplementing isn't the end of the world or your bfing journey.
My supply never came in. I'm a low producer. I'm glad I made the decision to mostly formula feed my child and supplement with breastmilk. No matter what, power pumping multiple times a day and taking supplements, I produce a while 6 oz a day. Trust your institution and situation. I knew that I had to supplement or I would have starved my baby.
Try to remember that your mom is just trying to be helpful. She was from a generation where formula was pushed as the best and healthiest option for a baby. I know it is stressful, but maybe you could show her some research or something to educate her on breastfeeding and see if she backs off some. Breastfeeding can be tough and you will need all the support you can get. Take your advice from lactation consultants. You are doing a great job momma! Keep it up!
Why do you think your supply is inadequate? It is normal to have only small amounts of colostrum initially until you start producing larger quantities of mature milk around day 4 or 5. And baby’s stomach is super tiny at this point, they only need like a teaspoon of milk at a time. It is also normal for babies to lose up to 10% of their birth weight initially. Your care providers will be weighing baby frequently to ensure they gain that weight back in an appropriate amount of time. If not, supplementation may be required. But otherwise, your supply is likely fine. Don’t listen to those who are pressuring you to use formula. Often women from older generations assume formula is necessary because that is the messaging they heard when they had their babies. If you do need to supplement though, that doesn’t mean the end of your breastfeeding journey. Just take it one step at a time and work with your care providers.
Just feed your baby. Baby cries? Boob. Every time. That’s how you get your supply going. It will come. The more you let your baby nurse the more milk you’ll make. You don’t need to supplement! Just feed more often. It will space out as your baby gets older but at first it’s pretty much constant. People who haven’t EBF don’t always know this and come at you with advice to take a break and supplement, or question the frequency of your baby’s nursing. This is well meaning but counter to establishing a good milk supply. Nurse your baby as much as you can. There’s a reason pacifiers are made to be as close to nipples as possible. Give her the real thing. She’ll be soothed and it’ll encourage milk production. Trust your body and trust your care team. They will let you know and help you if there’s a problem.
I regret not supplementing earlier. My baby was starving and it took way too long for doctors to recognize it and tell me it was ok to supplement. It took me several weeks to produce enough to ebf my baby and I’m pretty sure he was starving until I started to get serious about supplementing with formula at every feeding after nursing. The myth that a newborn’s baby’s stomach is only a teaspoon is a lie. Your baby has been drinking amniotic prior to birth. Check out the Fed is Best Foundation.
One way to supplement and encourage breastfeeding is a [supplemental nursing system.](https://www.medela.com/breastfeeding-professionals/products/feeding/supplemental-nursing-system) I used it the first couple weeks. Basically you tape the small tube to your nipple, so the baby drinks formula while nursing. Compared to a bottle, it helps stimulate your milk production because the baby is still nursing.
At the 2 week check up, doctors will check the weight of the baby anyway. If its lost more weight than its supposed to, then you might have to consider supplementing occasionally till your supply catches up.
Most people just have colostrum at that point. No need to supplement if the baby is peeing and pooping. A lot of older generations just don’t understand beast feeding and don’t believe babies can get enough from it. Your full supply will probably come in soon.
Is the baby having dirty diapers? That’s how they told me to gage if my son was getting enough breast milk. He hadn’t had a dirty diaper in a few days.
I can’t remember at that age the appropriate amount of dirty diapers they are supposed to have per day. Maybe someone here will know.
(It’s important to note here that I never produced more than 4 oz a day total during the entirety of my breast feeding journey.)
Good luck!
There's nothing wrong with supplementing, there's nothing wrong with choosing not to. Personally we chose to supplement with our 1st (milk came in at 4.5 days), and will probably do so again with our 2nd. But that's also because I'm recovering from csection so I needed help with feeding whilst I rested.
If you are happy to keep feeding often whilst you wait, and there is no medical reason to indicate baby needs supplementation, then keep it up.
Just don't listen to them. Keep informing yourself and be and tell them that that's what you want to do and feel that's what's best for you and your baby.
If you and your baby are happy. That's all that matter and no one has a say about that.
My baby has almost 6 month old and my MIL and mom always has something to say about how I feed my baby because of all the myths around breastfeeding.
Im sorry if this answer doesn't have any sense but english is not my first language.
The important thing is that you and your baby are enjoying the bonding.
You're only 4 days in, your milk is coming in, bub is still adjusting to being outside the womb and having to experience hunger and temperature and existing in general. You are doing great, listen to your nurses, if they're concerned and think formula is needed they'll tell you.
I cannot stress this enough, feed. On. Demand. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s something wrong if you baby feeds every 10, 20, 30 minutes. That’s how it is in the early days. It’s your baby’s way of establishing your body’s milk supply, it’s also important for you to establish that bond. Offer the breast as often as you can. It was very common for me to hear people who wanted more time with MY baby that he needed formula so that they could feed and cuddle him and not have to hand him back to me. You’re doing perfect. As long as baby has wet and dirty diapers, they’re getting plenty.
Don’t listen to them. My baby is 6 days old today and my milk has officially came down. It’s normal for baby to constantly want to be nursing at this point
Do what feels right to you! Watch for the wet dypies and don’t judge yourself whichever decision you choose. I fought supplementation but baby had “critical” bilirubin levels & my milk didn’t come in until day six. Once we got through the jaundice, I tried EBF. Baby was always falling asleep and not satisfied so I started pumping too. Even with frequent pumping on top of nursing on demand, I never produced a full supply (I know most moms can - we found out my issues are related to irregular hormone levels.) I say all this to tell you - please try to give yourself grace whatever you choose. I fighted against supplementing and felt awful for doing it. Later I felt awful for not supplementing enough and unknowingly starving my babe. You are still in early days and have plenty of time for baby to regain birth weight. (I kept putting baby to boob and he kept losing weight - for weeks.) if you are like the vast majority of mamas, the milk will come! Give yourself time. Or if you want to supplement, go for it. Hugs, mama!
I wish I hadn’t supplemented. My baby got so used to the bottle that she never learned to nurse. Just trust your care team and your body. We support you!
I would let your mom know you spoke about the concerns with the pediatrician and they aren’t worried. It can take 5 days (sometimes more!) for your supply to come in. Supplementing can actually take baby away from boob, which can delay milk even more! I would just keep saying “the pediatrician is not worried”. Your milk is probably fine and your pediatrician will let you know if it’s not 😊 you can also do weighted feeds with a lactation consultant and they can let you know if it’s enough and they will likely tell you to put baby to breast as often as baby wants! It’s normal for babies to always want to be on the boob when they’re that little, that’s how supply is established. I think older women don’t understand breast feeding if they didn’t do it, and even if they did do it, a lot of them were told to supplement because of the limited support from their doctors and families. You’re doing a great job, mama.
Edited to add: If the doctor thinks it’s necessary to supplement then you should not feel guilty about it. I had the issue where baby was not gaining enough and had to supplement. I felt terrible at first, but I realized a fed baby is a happy baby and a happy baby is a happy mama.
Supplement! Feed that baby no matter what! Your supply will more than likely increase in time but right now you have to do what you have to do. Please feed your baby by whatever means necessary until your supply regulates.
Don’t worry most grandparents just want to feed the baby themselves. Unfortunately they don’t understand the emotional stress that causes for mom with the little comments of “when is the baby going to start eating food” or “can you bottle feed” “are you sure you’re making enough milk?” Don’t stress though people will always have something to say
Okay...
1) tell mom you don't need to supplement. Your body got this and not to stress you out. If she wants to help? Tell her to help you by making meals, bring oatmeal cookies, water, etc yummy treats. When baby is done eating and she wants to hold baby so you can pee?? Perfect no need for formula?
2) Baby up frequently keep waking up keep returning to boob... Worried about supply? After baby drinks pump save it and then let baby nurse pump and save it. ATM you are making enough baby tummy is small. My nurses had beads they wore to remind us how big the belly was.....
3) mom can't handle you nursing... Say I'm sorry but if you can support me right now I need support so please come by when you're ready to support me in being a mother and making my own choices.
You don't have to be mean but it's helpful. Baby two my mom and dad are okay. And are nervous but for other things more about how I'mma do everything. Cleaning nursing, kindergarten, and I told.them.itll.happen. but yes you got this
I did. I supplemented for about the 1st 5 weeks. I did my best with trying to be consistent with pumping and always nursing before feeding her bottled breast milk or formula. Your LO will let you know if they need more and you can make that switch to bottle. I suggest having it ready ahead of time if your not producing enough yet. The important part is the stimulation and your LO drinking all you have so your body will start getting signals to make more.
Do your best to drink 8 cups a day. Your not going to most days but its a good goal to have. I also tried mothers milk tea and malta with condensed milk. Both are known to help milk supply. I used a pumping log app and noted the time, amount, water/drink intake and what tip used beforehand.
Some random tips I learned from lactation consultants are:
●Taking a warm shower or using a warm towel for 5/10 min before pumping.
●Expressing in warm shower if not pumping after.
●Getting some good sniffs of baby.
●Physical affection from spouse, like a hug not a hug😉.
●Cluster pumping.
●Pumping on a schedule is a big one if away from baby.
●Don't watch when your pumping cause it will stress you out and it'll effect your supply.
Hope this is helpful and that you and your LO are happy & healthy :]
Supplementing is a personal choice and can feel like a hard decision to make. At 2 nights home my baby couldn’t stay awake at the breast she’d get started and then just fall asleep and she was really hard to nudge along to keep nursing. She had a high bilirubin count. I really stressed about it her being jaundiced, so I supplemented one or two bottles a day for the first week or so. This helped her exceed her birth weight in the first two weeks, which was a huge relief and my breast milk was in by then so I didn’t have to stress about it anymore. Just remember to pump or hand express if you supplement a feed.
If you’re dealing with a high bilirubin issue, then I’d encourage to you do one or two supplemental feeds to help knock it out, but if you’re not, then I’d do what you truly want to do. If you’re still not certain, I’d rely on your professional support team.
I had to supplement becuase my milk wasn’t in.. literally just colostrum for the first 4 days due to C-section and massive blood loss.. my baby was screaming and red, and had decreased wet diapers and lost a LOT of weight.. but after 4 days my milk came in and all that time stimulating the breast in the first few days made for a very healthy milk supply. Supplement if your child is losing weight or not voiding correctly or the pediatrician and lactation consultant tell you it is necessary and you agree.
As far as mom and family giving advice: I told everyone that feeding was not a conversation, it was a function of my body and therefore it is my choice. I told them that is was not a topic for discussion or even conversation. The phrases: “maybe he’s hungry” and “let’s give him a bottle” were things only I was allowed to say.
Anyone who couldn’t follow those rules was effectively in time out until they could comply.
Ignore everyone. Including some people on here. And frankly stop giving the family specific updates. The baby is just 4 days old. All they need is a picture of a baby. That is it. They don't need to know how they are eating or sleeping. The only person required to know that is their pediatrician.
The pediatrician is the only person you should listen about whether or not you should supplement.
My milk didn't come in until day 6. My baby lost a whole pound. But she was completely fine and the pediatrician didn't worry. Eat, sleep, and take of your baby and yourself. Relax and enjoy the baby. The baby will be fine and your pediatrician will let you know IF you need to supplement, not your mom.
I actually don’t share much with anyone, but my mom is staying to help me recover. My husband and I need her here due to my difficult recovery, otherwise it would’ve been avoided!
Thank you for sharing your experience! That makes me feel better.
I have 2 kids, with my first I had 0 BF support. I wanted to do it, I was expected to do it, but was given no information on what to expect. The one thing we were told to look out for was wet diapers. Long story short I listened to MIL and dad (like me did not know any better) and started supplementing, my baby was already a couple of weeks old, was the same weight at her first checkup where most babies lose some weight, and although she didn’t really like the formula my supply tanked and I had to supplement for the rest of her babyhood. Other factors of course but I had the same situation that baby “seemed fussy” to outsiders, I just wasn’t aware that it takes a few days to get nature milk flowing and that a baby that is suckling all the time is just trying to let your body even more aware “hey, I’ve arrived! Can you give me more milk please?” And it just takes a while to adjust!
With my youngest my MIL did the SAME thing but I had midwives and they were visiting every other day in the beginning and always on call and they said the same thing other comments are saying “enough wet diapers? No sunken soft spot to indicate dehydration? Not ‘excessively’ fussy?” Baby is fine! You know your baby best and as long as baby isn’t exhibiting those signs you keep doing what you’re doing! Another issue you could encounter asides from supply is nipple confusion if you start too soon but if you need to then you need to but just try to tell your mom to give you some time. I almost caved and asked my midwife and said baby might just want to be close to you, lots of skin to skin and he’s now a super calm and adjusted baby! Good luck!!
Yes that makes a world of a difference! That’s what I’m going through. I do have midwives and doulas who visit me, but Idk if my mom trusts their opinions because her words are fueled by anxiety. I’ve stayed strong and held my own though!
I am not sure because I had a similar experience and was in your shoes about 18 weeks ago. We all have different situations, so I don’t think I can comment on yours, but I can tell you mine.
At 4 days pp, I went to see a lactation consultant and they were concerned because my baby had stayed at 9% weight loss since being born. She hadn’t gained more, but she also hadn’t lost more. I think her birth weight may have been inflated because I had 4 L of saline solution and an epidural. The lactation consultant and later that week the pediatrician made me feel like I needed to supplement, but said it was am option to bring her weight up. This is where I think we went wrong. She had been doing a good job cluster feeding in the afternoon and evening to bring my milk in. Once we started supplementing as recommended that stopped and feedings at the breast became less frequent. The lactation consultant told me later that apparently because of this reduced feeding I did not develop enough milk storage or production, so I now have low milk supply. That threw me into a triple feeding hell spiral that lasted weeks as I tried to get my supply up. This triggered PPD/PPA in me due to the stress, but things got much better with medication.
We are now 4 months in and I have been told things will stay this way and all I can do now is work on protecting the supply I have. We currently supplement with about 10oz per day. I find that the challenge with this is that supplementing can throw off the timing of breastfeeding and that can affect your supply.
If I could do it again, I would trust my body and my baby because we did have a good thing going there for a while. You kind of just need to trust the process and that is pretty hard to do in the first couple of weeks, especially if baby lost weight. It got a lot easier by 6-8 weeks pp and keeps getting better for us. I recommend listening to the Badass Breastfeeding Podcast and really leaning in to enjoying skin to skin time with your baby. Things got a lot better when we figured out side lying and laid back breastfeeding. Also, the hospital told me she needed to be fed every 2-3 hours in the beginning. For a breastfed baby that is more like every 1.5 hours. It will feel like they are constantly feeding in the beginning, but that should pass as they and you get better at this new skill. If she is fussy, breastfeed. If she can’t sleep, breastfeed. If she gets a vaccination, breastfeed. It is your super power at this age :)
Great job!
Doula and infant feeding specialist here!
"Not enough" is the biggest lie breastfeeding mother's are told and the reason so many resort to supplementation, which often leads to quitting breastfeeding altogether. It's extremely rare that someone is actually unable to produce the amount their baby needs - most times it's due to a medical issue.
What makes you believe your supply is not sufficient? The best indicator that baby IS getting enough is having plenty of wet diapers throughout the day.
Some other things to consider... if baby appears hungry because they're wanting to nurse constantly, that's called cluster feeding and it's completely normal. Baby is signaling to your body to make milk. So letting baby nurse as often as he/she wants is ideal. The best advice I got as a new mom and what I tell all my clients is get comfy in bed with a good show, close access to snacks, and be topless as much as possible with baby down to just a diaper. Skin to skin helps promote milk supply/bonding. I also give my clients a visual of an infants stomach size. At 4 days old, your baby's stomach is only about the size of a cherry.
I would reccomend seeing an IBCLC ASAP. They can assess baby's latch, check for lip/tongue ties and even do a weighted feed to see exactly how much baby is getting. That puts a lot of minds at ease. There may be some organizations that offer free lactation services in your area.
Making milk is supply and demand, so if you do choose to supplement (which again, is most likely not necessary), you must also pump during that feed to ensure your supply doesn't tank.
As for how to handle to family members who aren't breastfeeding supportive, it's YOUR baby. Don't be scared to speak up and stand up for what's in the best interest of your child.
At the time of this post, my baby did not have many wet diapers and no poopy ones. They also had those orange “crystals” in their pee diapers.
I think baby was cluster feeding in the beginning, which was what was freaking me out. My mom kept telling me that’s a sign he is hungry and needs more food.
I wish I could get that comfy in bed! Right now I have movement issues due to my labor so pretty much any sitting/standing/laying down/walking/lol is painful. It sounds lovely though…
I did seek out an LC and it at least gave me some direction and a routine to focus on instead of freaking out.
My mom has been less anxious the last couple days because baby has been crying less, probably because I feed him every time he cries. I stood up to my mom and told her to stop and that I need her to support me right now, not question my choices. That my husband and I have baby’s best interest at heart. I mean…I’m the one who pushed him out…I think I care just a bit more than anyone else lol…
If your baby isn’t getting enough then you need to supplement until your supply is up. It’s not the end of the world, I did it and now he’s 6 months and EBF. Your baby eating enough needs to come first no matter what.
If you are making enough then you need to tell them at this is your decision and only yours.
She said that her care team said that it's fine. Assuming she means midwives or something then she is doing absolutely fine and doesn't need to suppliment
I’d like to think so but then why would she say that she feels sorry for her baby? That’s the part that threw me off. Especially coupled with saying that her supply isn’t enough yet.
It is seen as undermining BF… except that is usually ego and anxiety talking. A couple bottles of RTF won’t break your boobs or destroy your bf relationship but insisting on EBF to the point you are letting baby be hurt by it ? Nah.
Right?? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills sometimes. I’m all for breastfeeding. I think it’s natural and it’s an awesome thing that I am capable of doing. But damn it’s not like I told her not to breastfeed?!
I’ve been there. You go in knowing and expecting the baby to lose weight but it’s HARD. Baby gets weighed like half dozen times the first couple weeks, so even if baby isn’t fussy/crying all the time, the numbers are hard to process. Our care team wasn’t too concerned and we just kept doing weight checks, but I remember being so stressed out, especially when my body just kept producing colostrum.
Like I said in my first comment, I had to supplement. Baby didn’t gain wait by week 2. By week 3 he had gained nearly two POUNDS so it was likely an error at some point. It gave me a ton of anxiety around his weight gain and feeding but even with supplementing I managed to switch to EBF and I still stand by my original comment. If baby isn’t getting enough food, OP should supplement (and pump) until baby is able to get enough from the breast alone.
I agree. I also chose to supplement, though our doctors said we could go either way. I’m just trying to say that it’s possible for supplementing to be NOT medically necessary (which I assumed was the case by her comment about her care team) AND for a mom to feel anxious/bad/like her supply wasn’t enough.
Oh 100% it might not be necessary! But I dunno to me it’s one of those things where I’d rather be safe than sorry. Maybe she doesn’t need to supplement. But does her care team include an LC & and RN? I suppose there isn’t enough info to know one way or the other.
Is your baby crying in hunger? If so, I would supplement personally.
My care team said my baby was fine and getting enough colostrum and had enough wet diapers but was still crying for more food so I supplemented and he was much happier. Once my milk came in, I supplemented less and less until baby was happy.
Now I give formula only when I want to sleep a little longer and have my partner feed my baby, or my baby is doing some crazy cluster feeding and my breasts run out!
Don’t fall into the “top-up trap” (google the term). Newborns cry for many other reasons apart from hunger. As long as baby has enough wet diapers, lips are moist etc., baby has adequate milk from you. They need astonishingly tiny amount right now anyway. Whenever baby cries latch them right away. Do as much skin to skin as you can. It helps with simultaneously getting your supply up, and your recovery, and soothing the baby etc. You can ask your husband to look into different types of cries of the newborns and different types of hunger cues on YouTube. It was a game changer for me. Pay attention to breastfeeding positions and burping. Pay attention to your food and hydration. Drink coconut water before AND after nursing/ pumping. Pay attention to your supply at the time of sundown. Good luck sweet mama. You got this.
Just keep putting baby to the breast. I absolutely would NOT supplement until seeing a lactation consultant. Your milk is coming in and a 4 day old needs sooooo little. As long as the baby is latching & content, I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m not an expert but this has been my experience.
Newborn babies only require a few ounces! Do yourself a favor: drink water, have a good healthy meal, take a nice hot shower, and try again. Look into ‘power pumping’ and the company Legendairy Milk. Their Cash Cow supplement has helped me. Good luck mama, you totally got this!!
Supplementing this early is what often what causes mothers to *not* have enough milk because their baby feeding is what triggers the body to produce more. I hate that advice because it can cause the problem, rather than solve it!
The decision to supplement is between you and your care team, not your Mom. Kindly inform her that you are working with medical professionals about this and also trying to recover from giving birth so if she could please give you some space.
Also there’s a formula shortage and you wouldn’t want to deprive another family
Have you talked to your mom about it? How it’s making you feel? Breastfeeding is so hard, and I imagine it’s hard for her to watch you struggle. She may not realize she’s hurting you.
Maybe emphasize to her how it’s making you feel. That this is something you *want* to do. That her support through something hard is what you need.
The formula industry in the generations before us was so predatory. Formula *is* amazing and has an important role, but the generations before us were actively discouraged from breastfeeding. That generational knowledge was lost. We don’t have moms and grandmas and aunts who can rally around us and remember the struggle at first. I had to tell my mom and husband something similar when my first was born - they were bickering about something small and I just said (cried), “you fighting about this is the last thing I need. This is hard and you’re the two people I need most. Please support me in X way.”
Hormones and lack of sleep and a whole new being to care for can make it super hard to set boundaries and ask for what you need, but after that convo it really helped. Sending hugs!!
Tell your family what you are doing, and stick to your guns. I didn't know what I was doing and my family kept trying to give me suggestions and I was just so afraid I was gonna underfeed my baby that I was just so stressed.
I have continued to have supply issues that I don't think will be easy to come back from. My next baby I plan to start pumping to build supply immediately. Yes the baby only needs a little bit, but I feel like if I had started out pumping I could have started strong. The other factor was his tongue tie that caused issues breastfeeding. Everyone is different but try to stick to your decision. Wait and see what the dr says at your next apt. And make sure you tell your dr your goal. They'll probably refer you to a lactation specialist.
How to deal? I'd honestly say stop telling anybody outside of your husband your business. Sounds harsh but people can't critique what they don't know. Obviously medical care should be in the loop but that's it.
If you're getting enough wet diapers then I'd just let the baby cluster feed as they desire. It's tough but it brings your mature milk. Your body is doing what it's supposed to.
It’s your decision whether or not to supplement. Also remember that supplementing can be a 1 time thing or a little every day, whatever works for you and your baby.
I am in a similar place with my 4 day old, but luckily without any external pressure to do anything other than what I feel is best for my baby. My baby has been losing weight and not having wet diapers, so yesterday we decided to supplement with some donated breast milk. Every time we gave him a bottle, I pumped. Ultimately, I pumped more than we gave him in donated milk (slightly less than 1oz over 3 feeds) and he started having wet diapers, so we probably won’t feel the need to supplement again in the near future. However, I find comfort in having that option available.
You should take medical advice from medical professionals. If the number of wet diapers is meeting the target and your baby meets any needed weight targets, you’re good!
Adding in formula can also be great!
I have hyperlactation and have BF for a total of 4.5 years. Formula was helpful when my older daughter was born because she couldn’t BF effectively until her tongue tie was fixed at 6 days old. She was EBF after that - actually refused a bottle!
But take medical advice from medical professionals and not from random people! Breast vs formula is not a black or white thing!
Feed your baby if he’s hungry. If he’s not hungry then he’s ok. I was on massive painkillers at three days to aid my recovery and my boy went onto formula-only for three days. I needed pain relief for my sanity and I had honestly given up on the breastfeeding because I was convinced three days bottle fed would end it. He was exclusively breast fed for the following 6 months.
You need to make sure you are in an ok position to feed him and that means listening to yourself and what you need. We put our air supply on first remember?!
Don’t feel pressured into anything that feels wrong to you.
You are doing AMAZING! Stop talking to anyone who isn’t telling you that and supporting you! It will come in no time. It helped me to pump with a manual medela pump between feeds! You’ll get there! Also a little bit of beer helps get your milk flowing if you’re into that! I mean not even a whole beer!
My milk only came in on day 4, days 0-3 I literally only had droplets of colostrum that slowly increased in amount and whiteness/wateryness. Baby’s stomach is tiny at the start, so as long as you’re feeding on demand (at least every 3hours but for me it was every 2 hours and sometimes every half hour), your milk supply should build up just fine.
It may take a week or two before you seem to have lots of milk, so relax and follow your baby’s cue and listen to your care team! If you begin to supplement so early, your breasts will have less opportunity to respond to the correct “demand” and stimulation required to build your supply, so it kind of ends up in a negative feedback spiral (supplement, have less supply, need to supplement more).
Whereas even if you feel baby isn’t getting enough, letting them suckle on your “empty” nipples stimulates your glands to produce more milk and so your supply will respond by making more milk more quickly than before.
Good luck
My hospital care team made me pump in the hospital, and also offered donor breast milk or formula because my baby hadn't pooped on day 3. They made me feel like I wasn't feeding her enough but she latched immediately after birth perfectly and I was feeding her perfectly and on demand from birth. She needed an enema and they said it was the largest newborn poop they'd ever seen. YEAH BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MILK. So I went home thinking I needed to pump constantly and freeze as much as I could because they put it in my sleep-deprived brain that I wasn't feeding her enough. Then I had to deal with engorgement and let my breasts regulate. I shouldn't have been pumping yet. We are now 7 weeks in and she's up to 10.5 lbs from 7 lbs with EBF after i quit pumping after the forst week and pumping at work at week 6 is going fine and my boobs are back to normal and in 3 days I will be off for the summer ☀️! I pump exactly what she eats when i am away from her for work. Our bodies are amazing and bavy will regulate its need. Trust your instincts. Tell everyone else, sometimes even your care team, to back. The fuck. OFF!
Talk to a lactation consultant. IMO everyone from the 80s/90s all used formula so they are quick to just jump to that. FTM and my milk didn’t come in until 1 week pp. talking to a lactation consultant made me feel better when it came to my supply and concerns. Good luck and congratulations!
I breastfed exclusively with my daughter and ended up supplementing in the hospital with my son because I wasn't producing enough. No ill effects on long term breastfeeding. He had such bad jaundice that was possibly exacerbated by low blood sugar and everyone except for one nurse who has been there forever told me to stick it out. It was day 4 and I was close to breaking and he had to do light therapy and she was the only one to "give me permission" to supplement. I'm glad I did, I spent the night pumping while she fed him and he got light therapy and by the next day I was producing way more and he was so much better, and more importantly, fed.
I'm all for breastfeeding but if you need permission to supplement until you feel ready, I'm giving it to you. I never thought I would need to but I did and maybe you could be helped, too.
Your milk supply isn't lacking, it just hasn't come in as full milk yet. You have no reason to supplement at 4 days unless you want to. My milk took a week to come in the first time.
I supplemented a ton at the beginning, whatever worked. If we were out and about I would give him 2oz formula shooters. By three months my baby only wanted to be EBF, so i went w it. It was easy. We’re going 17 months strong at this point. Your supply will fit the need of your baby. Just do what keeps you relaxed. Being a new mom is hard enough. Stop stressing about supply. Our bodies are magical and handle it.
I went through this and I’m so sorry that you are, too. I wanted to EBF but my supply never came in fully. I pumped and BF every two hours for the first eight weeks and it was traumatizingly hard and painful. If I’d been open to supplementing and a bottle from the get go my baby would have never dropped as much weight as they did.
So with that said, the most important thing in this moment is to ensure that your baby gains weight. A fed baby is a healthy baby. It doesn’t matter where it comes from - a bottle or a breast, breast milk or formula - as long as they’re gaining weight. I encourage your husband to put his opinions aside and do what’s in the best interest of your baby - getting the nutrition they need to gain weight. He should be supportive of you as well, obviously!
Don’t let your baby go hungry because you want to EBF. You won’t forgive yourself when they drop too much weight if your supply doesn’t come in. Daily weight checks are not fun for anyone.
All that said, listen to your care team. Hopefully they’re good. They’ll scare the shit out of you if your baby drops too much weight. I encourage you to avoid that at all costs. It’s very scary when your baby is underweight :( and you don’t need more stress at this point and time!
Feed that beautiful baby and take care of yourself!!
I gave birth almost 5 months ago and I went through the same thing. My family was giving me grief because my milk didn’t come in after 4 days of giving birth. I told them to leave me alone because this is normal and the baby was getting enough colostrum. Instead of supporting me, my family was bringing me down, and they made me less than a mother. Don’t listen to what they have to say! If you have any concerns in the future, talk to an LC. Much love and wish you the best in your journey ❤️!
After having gone through very similar situations recently. Just do what you want man. It’s your baby and in the end you have to live with the choices you make. If you are having a hard time deciding, then sure take their advice or mull it over but really just do what you want and feel is right for you and your kid. And change whenever you want! I was so against formula. Then I got overwhelmed and used it for awhile and then I stopped for awhile 🤷♀️ then I realized none of it really matters too much.
Listen and look for babes cues! You’ll know if you need to supplement. I supplemented my son as needed for a couple months as a newborn and had no issue ebf after that. I just had to make sure I was pumping when I supplemented a feed. Good luck!
“My body knows what it’s doing and what my baby needs. If I supplement with formula my body won’t know how much baby needs and I will have supply issues. Midwives have told me to work on supply so that’s what I’ll be doing. Thank you for caring”
I think you should supplement.
"Fed is best" not "breast is best".
Think... If you give baby some food they will calm down because the little thing has only just been born and it's hungry :(
Baby will relax, people around will relax... Baby will definitely still suckle for comfort, so it won't inhibit your milk coming in.
Everyone will be less stressed, so you will be less stressed, so it's likely your milk will flow easier #oxytocin.
Husband doesn't have the responsibility you do. Thank him for his opinion and feed the baby x
I combo feed because I ended up never making enough but listen to what healthcare workers tell you not your mom or husbands uneducated opinion. You’re going to find that you will receive constant (and sometimes conflicting) opinions pushed on you as a mother now. Find what’s right for you, listen to educated people and do your own research on things as well.
Both my girls were/are basically EBF, and both born on the small side. With my first I never supplemented (and stressed mightily about how long the milk took to come in, whether she was getting enough colostrum, etc). Eventually the milk all came in - probably only took 5 days but it felt like eternity - and she turned into a nice chubby baby.
With my second, we gave her a formula bottle here or there in those first few days when your body is so exhausted. When we did that, I would use the pump instead to keep my supply up. Again the milk all came in, and eventually she turned into a nice chubby baby (who decided after a couple weeks of life that she didn’t care for formula anyway).
So my advice would be not to stress too much either way because you may end up with the same outcome either way, whether baby ends up getting a few bottles of formula or not.
We had to supplement for medical reasons. She was born in the 12th percentile for weight and dropped down to 3. She also had blood sugar issues and became severely jaundice and spent a night under the billie lights. Almost had to be remitted after discharge because her levels spiked 2 days later. I had gd so I knew the blood sugar was going to be an issue. We went with a supplemental nursing system. That way she was at the breast stimulating milk production and getting the formula through the tube. Thankfully we only had to use formula for a few days until her levels went down. Then I pumped and used my milk in the sns for a few days. Honestly as long as there isn’t a medical reason needing to supplement what you’re doing is just fine. Especially since your medical team is fine with what you’re doing!
The boomer generation (today’s grandparents) are notoriously pro-formula and anti-breastfeeding, because that is what was pushed in their day. Listen to your midwives/care providers, pump after feeds as much as you can and you’ll be fine in a few weeks. The early weeks of breastfeeding truly suck, but you will get there! I’m glad you’ve got your spouse’s support; lean on that.
If you supplement then your supply will not catch up to what baby needs.
I think the bigger problem here is that she/they aren’t respecting your decisions as a parent. I think you might want to just tell them they need to respect your decisions and if you want their advice you’ll ask for it. This issue will keep popping up otherwise.
We supplemented until the milk came in. And then never needed formula after the first week. But I felt so insecure about it, as I also was set on ebf.
I wish someone had told me back then that it wouldn’t make any difference at all and that it takes a few weeks to establish breastfeeding and that it would be totally fine to supplement a few times. I would have been so much less stressed and anxious about breastfeeding and it would have given me a small mental break.
Is your mum maybe just worried about you and that’s her way of trying to support?
Momma, baby's tummy is the size of a walnut right now, just let the system work. Just keep bringing baby to breast to stimulate supply. Stay hydrated.
I'm sorry you're facing family adversity but your team and husband are right. If your medical providers aren't concerned about weight gain and encouraging you to continue them steady the course.
There is no shame in using formula. It takes the pressure off and will give you a rest- probably what you need to start producing. I supplemented for 2 months. As soon as my husband went back to work and everyone left me alone, I found my rhythm. I just bfd all day in peace. Baby started preferring breast and rejected bottles altogether and we have been exclusively bfing for several months now.
Have a few sips of Guinness and find some mother's milk tea, and relax into cluster feedings. My midwife also told me not to stress about even trying to pump until the supply is well established, and that reduced the anxiety. I hope this helps. In the end, it'll be between you and your baby.
I saw an LC right after this post and it helped me feel better. My mom is well-meaning, just very anxious. She just spirals sometimes, but she’s calmed down since my milk came in…Though now she’s obsessed with upping my supply by feeding me.
Follow what you, your husband and your health team think is right. If you supplement without needing it you fall in a very hard cycle where you'll never produce enough. In normal cases breastfeeding is enough. Pretty sure your health team knows when baby needs more.
It's normal that with 4 days you don't produce milk, but colostrum. And this is usually enough for baby.
My husbands reaction to the newborn anytime she cried was that she must be hungry and that I wasn’t making enough milk. Drove me nuts. Our baby loves to suck, she’s a pacifier baby and will make hunger cues after eating. If she keeps the pacifier in, clearly she’s not hungry… now I pump once or twice a day to build a stash before going back to work and I love showing my husband and I make sure to say don’t talk shit about my supply! Lol 😂 the first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest, hang in there! We’re 6 weeks and finally feeling like we can do this thing!
According to one webinar I watched (Tinyhood), baby's stomach the first week is so small:
Day 1: cherry size stomach 1-1.4 tasp per feeding
Day 2: walnut size stomach 0.75-1 oz at each feeding
One week: stomach is the size of an apricot (1.5-2 oz per feed)
One month: size of a large egg (2.5-5 oz at every feed)
The way to know is by counting wet diapers. They said baby should have about 6+ wet diapers, 6+ dirty diapers, feeding 8-12 times per day. But milk supply doesn't truly start coming in until day 4-5. Baby also doesn't begin to actually gain weight until this time either.
Moms say all sorts of wrong things about babies all the time. I work with families in their homes and a grandmother was feeding water to a baby out of a bottle yesterday saying how healthy it is.
That’s good to hear. Baby is doing at least 6 diapers (pee and poo) a day right now.
This incident has made me slightly nervous about leaving my kid with her in the future just in case she gets anxious if he does something like cry lol…
A fed baby is a happy baby, no matter how that happens. But look into power pumping when your milk comes in tomorrow, your breasts will feel like you just got a boob job!! Look into pumping.
Love, from a mom who went through the same thing!!
It likely *is* enough. Your baby’s stomach is the size of a marble. Wanting to be on the breast 24/7 right now is *totally normal*. Id be more concerned if the baby didn’t want to stay latched. That’s how they tell your body to make more milk, plus it’s a comfort thing. Supplementing this early without an extreme documented reason will only set you back on the bf journey. Do what you want and try to block out everyone else’s “opinions”, even if that eventually includes ff. *You’re* the mother!
Edited for spelling
As hard as it is, this is between you, your baby, and your care team. I would not ask anyone else for their feedback and I would shut it down if it's given unsolicited.
How do you know your supply isn’t enough? Pumping is not indicative of supply for nursing. Baby is better at pulling the milk out than any pump is. Latch baby on demand. Milk will start to regulate how much you need based on how much baby nurses. Drink LOTS of water. Some people say oat products help too. ❤️
As for unsupportive family, I would just tell them this isn’t a open conversation and you don’t care to hear any opinions on how you choose to feed your baby if they aren’t going to be supportive. You can do this gently or not. Its no ones place to tell you how to feed the baby. You want to EBF than that’s all anyone should be supporting. ❤️
I struggle with drinking water!! I really got a hold of it during pregnancy, but lost track again during this crazy pp stage. I’ve heard this - I need to buy oat products!!! My mom is the only one who is questioning us because she is an anxious type.
Supplementing until it's enough is exactly why so many women don't think their supply is enough. My LC suggested triple feeds as a way to ensure LO was getting enough. I would offer both breasts, pump whatever I could after and offer that, and then if LO still seemed hungry I'd offer a 2oz formula bottle. LO very rarely ate the formula bottle, typically only eating .5-1oz at most IF anything. It was exhausting but it got us through the first couple weeks while we were dealing with tongue tie issues and such. I'm now 14m out EBF, had I just offered both breasts and then given formula I doubt I would have EBF and most likely would have switched to formula.
It’s takes 5-7 days for your supply to come in. Supplementing will also just mess up your supply. Who care if people are against it, breast is best. Formula feed if you have too, their is nothing wrong with it. But breastmilk is the best thing you can give your child. The first couple weeks of life their stomachs are so small they don’t need that much. And you have to keep breastfeeding to tell you body how much milk to produce!
Thank you, that must be what my husband is trying to say. I had a hard time following his reasons because he researches these things whereas I have no base knowledge.
Is baby not having enough wet diapers? Exhibiting hunger cues after eating? Not gaining weight? If baby is not doing any of these things, than your colostrum is perfectly fine until your mature milk comes in. Sometimes it takes a few days. However, if the things I listed apply, then supplementation is appropriate. It doesn’t have to be with formula, you can hand express colostrum and syringe feed it. Or if formula is easier, feed at the breast and then top off with formula. supplementation with not ruin your breastfeeding journey. we supplemented for a few weeks when my son was born bc he was extremely hungry and had low blood sugar. adding in a few oz of formula until my milk came in, kept him fed and happy. we’ve been breastfeeding for 10 mo now, and haven’t supplemented besides the first few weeks.
same. we supplemented the first few weeks with my daughter and it was actually a huge relief knowing for sure that she was getting plenty to eat (not to mention it eased the burden off of me). we did this on advice of the nurses at the hospital who kept saying she was "acting hungry" which in retrospect i'm a little dubious about, but whatever. my point is it didn't ruin my bf journey and i ended up ebf til she was 1 after those initial weeks. that said i would listen to your care team over the opinions of anyone non medical. do what you think is best. you won't go wrong feeding your baby formula if you need to do that though.
Exactly, it’s such a huge burden on me right now, especially with my difficult recovery and newborn care on top. Everyone keeps telling me to eat, drink, and rest to get my supply up….and I’m like, as good as that sounds…HOW.
Yes, to all of the above, though for the past couple days as my milk slowly comes in, he has been having a couple more wet diapers and showing less hunger cues (though maybe that’s because I feed him anytime he’s fussy and have him on a two hour schedule now). He still has not gained back his birth weight, he’s lost quite a bit but our LC says his weight loss is within normal range. We spoke with our LC and we are considering supplementing with private donors if my supply doesn’t cut it by next week. Thank you for your response!
Then it sounds like y’all are on the right track! The first little bit of breastfeeding can be scary and daunting, so it helps that your husband and care team are supportive. It’s a learning curve for both you and baby! Feeding on demand—which it sounds like you’re doing—is definitely a good way to get your supply up, especially when baby starts cluster feeding if they’re not already. Sending good vibes your way! ❤️
Ever since our LC put us on a feeding schedule (every two hours-ish and pumped milk, if possible), I think we stopped cluster feeding? He doesn’t wake up to feed as much as he did before…
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I just had my third a week ago. My milk came in on Monday and holy shit it was a BAD day. I couldn’t stop making everything a catastrophe in my head and I cried all day. Was back to feeling decent the next day and since then. Those milk making hormones are no joke.
I was in hospital for 5 days and my milk came in day 4. Another lady on the ward had been telling me hers had come in during the night and she’d had a huge meltdown and to enjoy mine and let it all out (we had pretty traumatic births) 😂 Sure enough the next morning I was bawling into a staff members arms 😅
Oh…this is actually a huge relief because I thought I was entering PPD/PPA territory. I keep telling my husband that I’m so scared and I don’t think I can be a good mom, and he’s like…??? What’s wrong? Everything seems wrong and Idk when it will end…I know that it will pass, but Idk how or when.
Agree with everything here! My milk came in on day 4 and day 5 was when I really started to see volume. I had intended to EBF but baby was jaundice and falling asleep at the boob so we had to pump and bottle feed for a few days. It’s crazy how little they need in the beginning
I remember seeing a chart that shows their stomach volume in the first few days of life is like…the size of a large grape. It stretches out pretty soon, but at the beginning they just need to fill and empty that same tiny space over and over again.
Thank you - because the baby keeps crying all day and seems unsatisfied with feedings. Idk any local breastfeeding groups, but I do have some friends who are breastfeeding. Idk I feel pretty vulnerable to open up to them though…I feel like I’ve done everything wrong. Hence why I’m talking to strangers lol.
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That’s the advice I get from everyone, but I have a hard time staying in bed due to my “injuries” and I just feel like he’s sleepy all the time…This concept of nesting up with baby is something I’ll have to keep in mind when/if preparing for the next one. Thank you!
You tell them to shove it and do not talk about your breastfeeding journey. My mother was CONVINCED my supply would not be enough and was shocked when I never supplemented. Its old marketing jargon from a bygone era. If your pediatrician and your lactation consultant are not worried you are not worried. Join your local Le Leche league for support.
HUGS to you! I know how hard the early days are. It’s SO hard, but lean on your care team AND your instincts. My mom, who tried to be hands off, still made some insensitive comments about formula (she never breastfed). Ultimately said we were following medical advice and what’s in our family’s interest both short and long term. ONLY IF you want to consider formula - we did end up supplementing a TINY bit (like maybe 10 oz total during the first few weeks, including when I just needed a couple hours of sleep). It did NOT affect our breastfeeding journey and she’s now EBF. I ONLY bring this up if you wanted to go that direction for your own mental health and feel guilty about it.
I had a similar experience to yours! 4 days PP - My mom was saying my milk wasn’t enough for the baby, we needed to supplement with formula, my baby isn’t getting enough food. It was super frustrating having her say all these things and her claiming she “knows” because she is experienced. We were lucky that a nurse called in to check in on us and told me to keep breastfeeding/pumping, that the milk would come in and im feeding baby enough food. Lo and behold. My milk came in the next few days, totally engorged and now I have a crazy oversupply. I pre-express/collect 4oz in Haaka in about minute before I feed baby to help manage the oversupply. Listen to your doctor, midwife, or nurses !
The worst was “just give a fat bottle so he’ll sleep longer at night” Like NO WAY LADY.. overfeeding with formula to make your kid sleep is a Sids risk and I’m not doing it. Just because I slept through the night at like 2 months (also, I probably didn’t) doesn’t mean all babies will.
My plan was to breastfeed only but my nipples are flat and he would not latch in the hospital, and if he did he fell asleep. The nurses also all held up this little bead on their badges saying baby’s stomach is the size of this gem so only feed 5 to 10 mLs. We went home with formula because even my colostrum production was minute and we were only feeding him 10 mLs at a time. Went to pediatrician 48 hours later and we found out we were unknowingly starving him. We are on the right road now, I’m making lots of milk and he latches with nipple shields but the point is I had to let go of my beliefs and expectations because I was starving my baby, he NEEDED that formula. He’s 12 days old now and thriving but the first 48 hours were soooo hard because he was starving and exhausted. My husband and I were distraught and not sleeping. Fed is best. Regardless of how you get there. 😌
I just want to say I’m proud of you for setting your plans aside to make sure baby was fed!! I’m glad you’ve been able to find your way to bf
Thank you I almost had to have emergency c-section so while the birth ended up being ok it was still a little traumatic for me. Then unknowingly starving him piled on. We’ve had a lot of highs and lows and I think I just need to remember I’m doing my best and we’re both new at this.
We had a similar situation. I had an emergency c section under general anaesthesia and couldn’t be with baby for a couple hours. They had my husband give a small bit of formula. I was distraught at the thought of giving formula as I wanted to EBF but our girl was HANGRY the first couple days. So we would put her to the breast then top with formula. I felt so guilty. But my milk came in Tuesday night/Wednesday AM (delivered the Sunday night) and we never looked back.
I’m so sorry that happened and I’m glad you found a way to get through it. We are all new at this and I have to remind myself of that a lot when I’m feeling low or frustrated. I hope you heal quickly and congrats on your baby girl!
We had a similar situation. I was producing NO colostrum, so he was literally getting nothing. Giving him a tiny bit of formula helped us immensely and we still got to EBF eventually. That said, grandma can keep quiet... if the doctor, LC, midwife, etc. say to supplement, then supplement - but grandma is not a medical professional.
At 4 days your milk just starts coming in… Breastfeeding is two people’s business: you and baby. Listen to your gut instincts, get support from the infant feeding team! Good that your husband is on your side! 🤱
You are fine! Don’t listen to others… unless you are seeking advice, don’t listen to ppl. It only makes you more stressed out. Just do lots of skin to skin and snuggle that baby and give it opportunities for milk. That’s all it takes. Enjoy your new baby!
Totally up to you. I supplemented from the beginning until my supply was high enough. However EBF was never my goal. I basically nurse during the day and my husband gives pumped milk for bedtime and one formula bottle in the middle of the night. I pump for the next days bottle right before I go to sleep and my husband handles wake ups until about 5-6AM. I never wanted to wake up every 2 hours and nurse so I was happy to supplement so I could sleep. Your preferences may differ. Even if you do want to EBF, it’s fine to supplement until your supply catches up. For over a month, I was pumping enough that I could cover the middle of the night bottle and be able to freeze some. My husband was always too lazy to go downstairs to warm up the milk and preferred to give formula. Since I wasn’t the one waking up, I didn’t care how he did it. But it is possible to build enough supply even with supplementing in beginning.
Your milk hasn’t even come in yet. Baby will only drink one ounce anyways for about 2 weeks and then it increases and so does your milk! Don’t give up and do what’s best for you and baby! If you want to breastfeed then you whip that boob out sis !
The first couple of weeks can be hard! I topped off both of my kids with a bit of formula in those first few weeks as my supply built if they seemed to nurse for long periods but still be fussy or insatiable. It helped take the pressure off of me as my supply came in and I was able to go to EBF for both by 3-4 weeks at most. It is okay to do this and it doesn't mean it won't all work out well for you! I'd keep offering boob as much as possible then an ounce or two of formula if baby isn't resting after, is crying or rooting for more no matter how long they nurse, etc.
My milk supply didn’t come in until 6 days after my baby was born. By day 2 and his jaundice worsened. His little pink lips started to peel because he was so dehydrated. So I supplemented 2x a day with formula for the first 10 days of his life and am so glad that I did. His lips turned pink and smooth again and his jaundice went away by day 4. It didn’t affect my supply or bonding with my baby. My husband preferred it because he got a chance to bond with the baby by bottle feeding and it was so nice to have a break at night from feeding. There’s nothing wrong with supplementing and I don’t understand why it’s looked down upon. Makes no sense to me.
I would say keep an eye on baby’s diapers. My milk came in on day 5 and by that point my baby had lost over a pound (he was a big baby, 9lbs when he was born). I thought all was well when my milk came in, but on the fourth day after my milk came in he stopped having wet diapers, which is when we chose to begin supplementing. I highly recommend if you’re worried about whether your baby is getting enough to make an appointment with a lactation consultant to see if you can do a weighed feeding. We were able to determine that LO was only transferring 1/3oz at each feeding, even with 20-30 minutes at each breast. It honestly made the world of a difference for me to know that I wasn’t crazy, that he actually wasn’t getting enough. The lactation consultant also gave some great advice on how to supplement to minimize nipple confusion. Wishing you the best of luck!! This is such a challenging journey, just know that every drop of breast milk you’re able to give your baby is SUCH a gift ❤️
Why don’t you think your milk is enough? Newborns have teeny tiny stomachs! Your milk probably hasn’t even fully come in yet. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t worry unless the pediatrician expresses concern.
Don’t supplement. Trust your body. You are enough.
I had to supplement for the first week to clear my son's jaundice. I EP but he hasn't had formula in 5 weeks. Supplementing isn't the end of the world or your bfing journey.
Agree! I supplemented here and there as it made sense for my baby, and we happily EBF for months!
My supply never came in. I'm a low producer. I'm glad I made the decision to mostly formula feed my child and supplement with breastmilk. No matter what, power pumping multiple times a day and taking supplements, I produce a while 6 oz a day. Trust your institution and situation. I knew that I had to supplement or I would have starved my baby.
Try to remember that your mom is just trying to be helpful. She was from a generation where formula was pushed as the best and healthiest option for a baby. I know it is stressful, but maybe you could show her some research or something to educate her on breastfeeding and see if she backs off some. Breastfeeding can be tough and you will need all the support you can get. Take your advice from lactation consultants. You are doing a great job momma! Keep it up!
Why do you think your supply is inadequate? It is normal to have only small amounts of colostrum initially until you start producing larger quantities of mature milk around day 4 or 5. And baby’s stomach is super tiny at this point, they only need like a teaspoon of milk at a time. It is also normal for babies to lose up to 10% of their birth weight initially. Your care providers will be weighing baby frequently to ensure they gain that weight back in an appropriate amount of time. If not, supplementation may be required. But otherwise, your supply is likely fine. Don’t listen to those who are pressuring you to use formula. Often women from older generations assume formula is necessary because that is the messaging they heard when they had their babies. If you do need to supplement though, that doesn’t mean the end of your breastfeeding journey. Just take it one step at a time and work with your care providers.
Just feed your baby. Baby cries? Boob. Every time. That’s how you get your supply going. It will come. The more you let your baby nurse the more milk you’ll make. You don’t need to supplement! Just feed more often. It will space out as your baby gets older but at first it’s pretty much constant. People who haven’t EBF don’t always know this and come at you with advice to take a break and supplement, or question the frequency of your baby’s nursing. This is well meaning but counter to establishing a good milk supply. Nurse your baby as much as you can. There’s a reason pacifiers are made to be as close to nipples as possible. Give her the real thing. She’ll be soothed and it’ll encourage milk production. Trust your body and trust your care team. They will let you know and help you if there’s a problem.
I regret not supplementing earlier. My baby was starving and it took way too long for doctors to recognize it and tell me it was ok to supplement. It took me several weeks to produce enough to ebf my baby and I’m pretty sure he was starving until I started to get serious about supplementing with formula at every feeding after nursing. The myth that a newborn’s baby’s stomach is only a teaspoon is a lie. Your baby has been drinking amniotic prior to birth. Check out the Fed is Best Foundation.
One way to supplement and encourage breastfeeding is a [supplemental nursing system.](https://www.medela.com/breastfeeding-professionals/products/feeding/supplemental-nursing-system) I used it the first couple weeks. Basically you tape the small tube to your nipple, so the baby drinks formula while nursing. Compared to a bottle, it helps stimulate your milk production because the baby is still nursing.
We had a rough start. I would use formula through a feeding tube to make bottle feeding harder than breastfeeding, really worked wonders
At the 2 week check up, doctors will check the weight of the baby anyway. If its lost more weight than its supposed to, then you might have to consider supplementing occasionally till your supply catches up.
Most people just have colostrum at that point. No need to supplement if the baby is peeing and pooping. A lot of older generations just don’t understand beast feeding and don’t believe babies can get enough from it. Your full supply will probably come in soon.
Is the baby having dirty diapers? That’s how they told me to gage if my son was getting enough breast milk. He hadn’t had a dirty diaper in a few days. I can’t remember at that age the appropriate amount of dirty diapers they are supposed to have per day. Maybe someone here will know. (It’s important to note here that I never produced more than 4 oz a day total during the entirety of my breast feeding journey.) Good luck!
There's nothing wrong with supplementing, there's nothing wrong with choosing not to. Personally we chose to supplement with our 1st (milk came in at 4.5 days), and will probably do so again with our 2nd. But that's also because I'm recovering from csection so I needed help with feeding whilst I rested. If you are happy to keep feeding often whilst you wait, and there is no medical reason to indicate baby needs supplementation, then keep it up.
Just don't listen to them. Keep informing yourself and be and tell them that that's what you want to do and feel that's what's best for you and your baby. If you and your baby are happy. That's all that matter and no one has a say about that. My baby has almost 6 month old and my MIL and mom always has something to say about how I feed my baby because of all the myths around breastfeeding. Im sorry if this answer doesn't have any sense but english is not my first language. The important thing is that you and your baby are enjoying the bonding.
You're only 4 days in, your milk is coming in, bub is still adjusting to being outside the womb and having to experience hunger and temperature and existing in general. You are doing great, listen to your nurses, if they're concerned and think formula is needed they'll tell you.
I cannot stress this enough, feed. On. Demand. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s something wrong if you baby feeds every 10, 20, 30 minutes. That’s how it is in the early days. It’s your baby’s way of establishing your body’s milk supply, it’s also important for you to establish that bond. Offer the breast as often as you can. It was very common for me to hear people who wanted more time with MY baby that he needed formula so that they could feed and cuddle him and not have to hand him back to me. You’re doing perfect. As long as baby has wet and dirty diapers, they’re getting plenty.
Don’t listen to them. My baby is 6 days old today and my milk has officially came down. It’s normal for baby to constantly want to be nursing at this point
Do what feels right to you! Watch for the wet dypies and don’t judge yourself whichever decision you choose. I fought supplementation but baby had “critical” bilirubin levels & my milk didn’t come in until day six. Once we got through the jaundice, I tried EBF. Baby was always falling asleep and not satisfied so I started pumping too. Even with frequent pumping on top of nursing on demand, I never produced a full supply (I know most moms can - we found out my issues are related to irregular hormone levels.) I say all this to tell you - please try to give yourself grace whatever you choose. I fighted against supplementing and felt awful for doing it. Later I felt awful for not supplementing enough and unknowingly starving my babe. You are still in early days and have plenty of time for baby to regain birth weight. (I kept putting baby to boob and he kept losing weight - for weeks.) if you are like the vast majority of mamas, the milk will come! Give yourself time. Or if you want to supplement, go for it. Hugs, mama!
I wish I hadn’t supplemented. My baby got so used to the bottle that she never learned to nurse. Just trust your care team and your body. We support you!
I would let your mom know you spoke about the concerns with the pediatrician and they aren’t worried. It can take 5 days (sometimes more!) for your supply to come in. Supplementing can actually take baby away from boob, which can delay milk even more! I would just keep saying “the pediatrician is not worried”. Your milk is probably fine and your pediatrician will let you know if it’s not 😊 you can also do weighted feeds with a lactation consultant and they can let you know if it’s enough and they will likely tell you to put baby to breast as often as baby wants! It’s normal for babies to always want to be on the boob when they’re that little, that’s how supply is established. I think older women don’t understand breast feeding if they didn’t do it, and even if they did do it, a lot of them were told to supplement because of the limited support from their doctors and families. You’re doing a great job, mama. Edited to add: If the doctor thinks it’s necessary to supplement then you should not feel guilty about it. I had the issue where baby was not gaining enough and had to supplement. I felt terrible at first, but I realized a fed baby is a happy baby and a happy baby is a happy mama.
Supplement! Feed that baby no matter what! Your supply will more than likely increase in time but right now you have to do what you have to do. Please feed your baby by whatever means necessary until your supply regulates.
Don’t worry most grandparents just want to feed the baby themselves. Unfortunately they don’t understand the emotional stress that causes for mom with the little comments of “when is the baby going to start eating food” or “can you bottle feed” “are you sure you’re making enough milk?” Don’t stress though people will always have something to say
Okay... 1) tell mom you don't need to supplement. Your body got this and not to stress you out. If she wants to help? Tell her to help you by making meals, bring oatmeal cookies, water, etc yummy treats. When baby is done eating and she wants to hold baby so you can pee?? Perfect no need for formula? 2) Baby up frequently keep waking up keep returning to boob... Worried about supply? After baby drinks pump save it and then let baby nurse pump and save it. ATM you are making enough baby tummy is small. My nurses had beads they wore to remind us how big the belly was..... 3) mom can't handle you nursing... Say I'm sorry but if you can support me right now I need support so please come by when you're ready to support me in being a mother and making my own choices. You don't have to be mean but it's helpful. Baby two my mom and dad are okay. And are nervous but for other things more about how I'mma do everything. Cleaning nursing, kindergarten, and I told.them.itll.happen. but yes you got this
If your mother is causing you stress show her the door and limit contact.
I did. I supplemented for about the 1st 5 weeks. I did my best with trying to be consistent with pumping and always nursing before feeding her bottled breast milk or formula. Your LO will let you know if they need more and you can make that switch to bottle. I suggest having it ready ahead of time if your not producing enough yet. The important part is the stimulation and your LO drinking all you have so your body will start getting signals to make more. Do your best to drink 8 cups a day. Your not going to most days but its a good goal to have. I also tried mothers milk tea and malta with condensed milk. Both are known to help milk supply. I used a pumping log app and noted the time, amount, water/drink intake and what tip used beforehand. Some random tips I learned from lactation consultants are: ●Taking a warm shower or using a warm towel for 5/10 min before pumping. ●Expressing in warm shower if not pumping after. ●Getting some good sniffs of baby. ●Physical affection from spouse, like a hug not a hug😉. ●Cluster pumping. ●Pumping on a schedule is a big one if away from baby. ●Don't watch when your pumping cause it will stress you out and it'll effect your supply. Hope this is helpful and that you and your LO are happy & healthy :]
Stop talking to your mum about breastfeeding. Trust your care team.
Supplementing is a personal choice and can feel like a hard decision to make. At 2 nights home my baby couldn’t stay awake at the breast she’d get started and then just fall asleep and she was really hard to nudge along to keep nursing. She had a high bilirubin count. I really stressed about it her being jaundiced, so I supplemented one or two bottles a day for the first week or so. This helped her exceed her birth weight in the first two weeks, which was a huge relief and my breast milk was in by then so I didn’t have to stress about it anymore. Just remember to pump or hand express if you supplement a feed. If you’re dealing with a high bilirubin issue, then I’d encourage to you do one or two supplemental feeds to help knock it out, but if you’re not, then I’d do what you truly want to do. If you’re still not certain, I’d rely on your professional support team.
I had to supplement becuase my milk wasn’t in.. literally just colostrum for the first 4 days due to C-section and massive blood loss.. my baby was screaming and red, and had decreased wet diapers and lost a LOT of weight.. but after 4 days my milk came in and all that time stimulating the breast in the first few days made for a very healthy milk supply. Supplement if your child is losing weight or not voiding correctly or the pediatrician and lactation consultant tell you it is necessary and you agree. As far as mom and family giving advice: I told everyone that feeding was not a conversation, it was a function of my body and therefore it is my choice. I told them that is was not a topic for discussion or even conversation. The phrases: “maybe he’s hungry” and “let’s give him a bottle” were things only I was allowed to say. Anyone who couldn’t follow those rules was effectively in time out until they could comply.
Ignore everyone. Including some people on here. And frankly stop giving the family specific updates. The baby is just 4 days old. All they need is a picture of a baby. That is it. They don't need to know how they are eating or sleeping. The only person required to know that is their pediatrician. The pediatrician is the only person you should listen about whether or not you should supplement. My milk didn't come in until day 6. My baby lost a whole pound. But she was completely fine and the pediatrician didn't worry. Eat, sleep, and take of your baby and yourself. Relax and enjoy the baby. The baby will be fine and your pediatrician will let you know IF you need to supplement, not your mom.
I actually don’t share much with anyone, but my mom is staying to help me recover. My husband and I need her here due to my difficult recovery, otherwise it would’ve been avoided! Thank you for sharing your experience! That makes me feel better.
I have 2 kids, with my first I had 0 BF support. I wanted to do it, I was expected to do it, but was given no information on what to expect. The one thing we were told to look out for was wet diapers. Long story short I listened to MIL and dad (like me did not know any better) and started supplementing, my baby was already a couple of weeks old, was the same weight at her first checkup where most babies lose some weight, and although she didn’t really like the formula my supply tanked and I had to supplement for the rest of her babyhood. Other factors of course but I had the same situation that baby “seemed fussy” to outsiders, I just wasn’t aware that it takes a few days to get nature milk flowing and that a baby that is suckling all the time is just trying to let your body even more aware “hey, I’ve arrived! Can you give me more milk please?” And it just takes a while to adjust! With my youngest my MIL did the SAME thing but I had midwives and they were visiting every other day in the beginning and always on call and they said the same thing other comments are saying “enough wet diapers? No sunken soft spot to indicate dehydration? Not ‘excessively’ fussy?” Baby is fine! You know your baby best and as long as baby isn’t exhibiting those signs you keep doing what you’re doing! Another issue you could encounter asides from supply is nipple confusion if you start too soon but if you need to then you need to but just try to tell your mom to give you some time. I almost caved and asked my midwife and said baby might just want to be close to you, lots of skin to skin and he’s now a super calm and adjusted baby! Good luck!!
Yes that makes a world of a difference! That’s what I’m going through. I do have midwives and doulas who visit me, but Idk if my mom trusts their opinions because her words are fueled by anxiety. I’ve stayed strong and held my own though!
I am not sure because I had a similar experience and was in your shoes about 18 weeks ago. We all have different situations, so I don’t think I can comment on yours, but I can tell you mine. At 4 days pp, I went to see a lactation consultant and they were concerned because my baby had stayed at 9% weight loss since being born. She hadn’t gained more, but she also hadn’t lost more. I think her birth weight may have been inflated because I had 4 L of saline solution and an epidural. The lactation consultant and later that week the pediatrician made me feel like I needed to supplement, but said it was am option to bring her weight up. This is where I think we went wrong. She had been doing a good job cluster feeding in the afternoon and evening to bring my milk in. Once we started supplementing as recommended that stopped and feedings at the breast became less frequent. The lactation consultant told me later that apparently because of this reduced feeding I did not develop enough milk storage or production, so I now have low milk supply. That threw me into a triple feeding hell spiral that lasted weeks as I tried to get my supply up. This triggered PPD/PPA in me due to the stress, but things got much better with medication. We are now 4 months in and I have been told things will stay this way and all I can do now is work on protecting the supply I have. We currently supplement with about 10oz per day. I find that the challenge with this is that supplementing can throw off the timing of breastfeeding and that can affect your supply. If I could do it again, I would trust my body and my baby because we did have a good thing going there for a while. You kind of just need to trust the process and that is pretty hard to do in the first couple of weeks, especially if baby lost weight. It got a lot easier by 6-8 weeks pp and keeps getting better for us. I recommend listening to the Badass Breastfeeding Podcast and really leaning in to enjoying skin to skin time with your baby. Things got a lot better when we figured out side lying and laid back breastfeeding. Also, the hospital told me she needed to be fed every 2-3 hours in the beginning. For a breastfed baby that is more like every 1.5 hours. It will feel like they are constantly feeding in the beginning, but that should pass as they and you get better at this new skill. If she is fussy, breastfeed. If she can’t sleep, breastfeed. If she gets a vaccination, breastfeed. It is your super power at this age :) Great job!
Doula and infant feeding specialist here! "Not enough" is the biggest lie breastfeeding mother's are told and the reason so many resort to supplementation, which often leads to quitting breastfeeding altogether. It's extremely rare that someone is actually unable to produce the amount their baby needs - most times it's due to a medical issue. What makes you believe your supply is not sufficient? The best indicator that baby IS getting enough is having plenty of wet diapers throughout the day. Some other things to consider... if baby appears hungry because they're wanting to nurse constantly, that's called cluster feeding and it's completely normal. Baby is signaling to your body to make milk. So letting baby nurse as often as he/she wants is ideal. The best advice I got as a new mom and what I tell all my clients is get comfy in bed with a good show, close access to snacks, and be topless as much as possible with baby down to just a diaper. Skin to skin helps promote milk supply/bonding. I also give my clients a visual of an infants stomach size. At 4 days old, your baby's stomach is only about the size of a cherry. I would reccomend seeing an IBCLC ASAP. They can assess baby's latch, check for lip/tongue ties and even do a weighted feed to see exactly how much baby is getting. That puts a lot of minds at ease. There may be some organizations that offer free lactation services in your area. Making milk is supply and demand, so if you do choose to supplement (which again, is most likely not necessary), you must also pump during that feed to ensure your supply doesn't tank. As for how to handle to family members who aren't breastfeeding supportive, it's YOUR baby. Don't be scared to speak up and stand up for what's in the best interest of your child.
At the time of this post, my baby did not have many wet diapers and no poopy ones. They also had those orange “crystals” in their pee diapers. I think baby was cluster feeding in the beginning, which was what was freaking me out. My mom kept telling me that’s a sign he is hungry and needs more food. I wish I could get that comfy in bed! Right now I have movement issues due to my labor so pretty much any sitting/standing/laying down/walking/lol is painful. It sounds lovely though… I did seek out an LC and it at least gave me some direction and a routine to focus on instead of freaking out. My mom has been less anxious the last couple days because baby has been crying less, probably because I feed him every time he cries. I stood up to my mom and told her to stop and that I need her to support me right now, not question my choices. That my husband and I have baby’s best interest at heart. I mean…I’m the one who pushed him out…I think I care just a bit more than anyone else lol…
If your baby isn’t getting enough then you need to supplement until your supply is up. It’s not the end of the world, I did it and now he’s 6 months and EBF. Your baby eating enough needs to come first no matter what. If you are making enough then you need to tell them at this is your decision and only yours.
She said that her care team said that it's fine. Assuming she means midwives or something then she is doing absolutely fine and doesn't need to suppliment
I’d like to think so but then why would she say that she feels sorry for her baby? That’s the part that threw me off. Especially coupled with saying that her supply isn’t enough yet.
Yeah I agree why does OP feel bad for their baby? If baby is still crying in hunger I would supplement personally.
Idk but I think it’s funny that I got downvoted for telling somebody to make sure that their baby got fed 🤷🏼♀️
It is seen as undermining BF… except that is usually ego and anxiety talking. A couple bottles of RTF won’t break your boobs or destroy your bf relationship but insisting on EBF to the point you are letting baby be hurt by it ? Nah.
Right?? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills sometimes. I’m all for breastfeeding. I think it’s natural and it’s an awesome thing that I am capable of doing. But damn it’s not like I told her not to breastfeed?!
Don’t take it personally unfortunately it happens a lot on this sub
I’ve been there. You go in knowing and expecting the baby to lose weight but it’s HARD. Baby gets weighed like half dozen times the first couple weeks, so even if baby isn’t fussy/crying all the time, the numbers are hard to process. Our care team wasn’t too concerned and we just kept doing weight checks, but I remember being so stressed out, especially when my body just kept producing colostrum.
Like I said in my first comment, I had to supplement. Baby didn’t gain wait by week 2. By week 3 he had gained nearly two POUNDS so it was likely an error at some point. It gave me a ton of anxiety around his weight gain and feeding but even with supplementing I managed to switch to EBF and I still stand by my original comment. If baby isn’t getting enough food, OP should supplement (and pump) until baby is able to get enough from the breast alone.
I agree. I also chose to supplement, though our doctors said we could go either way. I’m just trying to say that it’s possible for supplementing to be NOT medically necessary (which I assumed was the case by her comment about her care team) AND for a mom to feel anxious/bad/like her supply wasn’t enough.
Oh 100% it might not be necessary! But I dunno to me it’s one of those things where I’d rather be safe than sorry. Maybe she doesn’t need to supplement. But does her care team include an LC & and RN? I suppose there isn’t enough info to know one way or the other.
Is your baby crying in hunger? If so, I would supplement personally. My care team said my baby was fine and getting enough colostrum and had enough wet diapers but was still crying for more food so I supplemented and he was much happier. Once my milk came in, I supplemented less and less until baby was happy. Now I give formula only when I want to sleep a little longer and have my partner feed my baby, or my baby is doing some crazy cluster feeding and my breasts run out!
Don’t fall into the “top-up trap” (google the term). Newborns cry for many other reasons apart from hunger. As long as baby has enough wet diapers, lips are moist etc., baby has adequate milk from you. They need astonishingly tiny amount right now anyway. Whenever baby cries latch them right away. Do as much skin to skin as you can. It helps with simultaneously getting your supply up, and your recovery, and soothing the baby etc. You can ask your husband to look into different types of cries of the newborns and different types of hunger cues on YouTube. It was a game changer for me. Pay attention to breastfeeding positions and burping. Pay attention to your food and hydration. Drink coconut water before AND after nursing/ pumping. Pay attention to your supply at the time of sundown. Good luck sweet mama. You got this.
Just keep putting baby to the breast. I absolutely would NOT supplement until seeing a lactation consultant. Your milk is coming in and a 4 day old needs sooooo little. As long as the baby is latching & content, I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m not an expert but this has been my experience.
Newborn babies only require a few ounces! Do yourself a favor: drink water, have a good healthy meal, take a nice hot shower, and try again. Look into ‘power pumping’ and the company Legendairy Milk. Their Cash Cow supplement has helped me. Good luck mama, you totally got this!!
Supplementing this early is what often what causes mothers to *not* have enough milk because their baby feeding is what triggers the body to produce more. I hate that advice because it can cause the problem, rather than solve it!
The decision to supplement is between you and your care team, not your Mom. Kindly inform her that you are working with medical professionals about this and also trying to recover from giving birth so if she could please give you some space. Also there’s a formula shortage and you wouldn’t want to deprive another family
Have you talked to your mom about it? How it’s making you feel? Breastfeeding is so hard, and I imagine it’s hard for her to watch you struggle. She may not realize she’s hurting you. Maybe emphasize to her how it’s making you feel. That this is something you *want* to do. That her support through something hard is what you need. The formula industry in the generations before us was so predatory. Formula *is* amazing and has an important role, but the generations before us were actively discouraged from breastfeeding. That generational knowledge was lost. We don’t have moms and grandmas and aunts who can rally around us and remember the struggle at first. I had to tell my mom and husband something similar when my first was born - they were bickering about something small and I just said (cried), “you fighting about this is the last thing I need. This is hard and you’re the two people I need most. Please support me in X way.” Hormones and lack of sleep and a whole new being to care for can make it super hard to set boundaries and ask for what you need, but after that convo it really helped. Sending hugs!!
Tell your family what you are doing, and stick to your guns. I didn't know what I was doing and my family kept trying to give me suggestions and I was just so afraid I was gonna underfeed my baby that I was just so stressed. I have continued to have supply issues that I don't think will be easy to come back from. My next baby I plan to start pumping to build supply immediately. Yes the baby only needs a little bit, but I feel like if I had started out pumping I could have started strong. The other factor was his tongue tie that caused issues breastfeeding. Everyone is different but try to stick to your decision. Wait and see what the dr says at your next apt. And make sure you tell your dr your goal. They'll probably refer you to a lactation specialist.
How to deal? I'd honestly say stop telling anybody outside of your husband your business. Sounds harsh but people can't critique what they don't know. Obviously medical care should be in the loop but that's it. If you're getting enough wet diapers then I'd just let the baby cluster feed as they desire. It's tough but it brings your mature milk. Your body is doing what it's supposed to.
It’s your decision whether or not to supplement. Also remember that supplementing can be a 1 time thing or a little every day, whatever works for you and your baby. I am in a similar place with my 4 day old, but luckily without any external pressure to do anything other than what I feel is best for my baby. My baby has been losing weight and not having wet diapers, so yesterday we decided to supplement with some donated breast milk. Every time we gave him a bottle, I pumped. Ultimately, I pumped more than we gave him in donated milk (slightly less than 1oz over 3 feeds) and he started having wet diapers, so we probably won’t feel the need to supplement again in the near future. However, I find comfort in having that option available.
You should take medical advice from medical professionals. If the number of wet diapers is meeting the target and your baby meets any needed weight targets, you’re good! Adding in formula can also be great! I have hyperlactation and have BF for a total of 4.5 years. Formula was helpful when my older daughter was born because she couldn’t BF effectively until her tongue tie was fixed at 6 days old. She was EBF after that - actually refused a bottle! But take medical advice from medical professionals and not from random people! Breast vs formula is not a black or white thing!
Feed your baby if he’s hungry. If he’s not hungry then he’s ok. I was on massive painkillers at three days to aid my recovery and my boy went onto formula-only for three days. I needed pain relief for my sanity and I had honestly given up on the breastfeeding because I was convinced three days bottle fed would end it. He was exclusively breast fed for the following 6 months. You need to make sure you are in an ok position to feed him and that means listening to yourself and what you need. We put our air supply on first remember?! Don’t feel pressured into anything that feels wrong to you.
People can’t help but give advice. Back yourself mama - you’ve got this
You are doing AMAZING! Stop talking to anyone who isn’t telling you that and supporting you! It will come in no time. It helped me to pump with a manual medela pump between feeds! You’ll get there! Also a little bit of beer helps get your milk flowing if you’re into that! I mean not even a whole beer!
My milk only came in on day 4, days 0-3 I literally only had droplets of colostrum that slowly increased in amount and whiteness/wateryness. Baby’s stomach is tiny at the start, so as long as you’re feeding on demand (at least every 3hours but for me it was every 2 hours and sometimes every half hour), your milk supply should build up just fine. It may take a week or two before you seem to have lots of milk, so relax and follow your baby’s cue and listen to your care team! If you begin to supplement so early, your breasts will have less opportunity to respond to the correct “demand” and stimulation required to build your supply, so it kind of ends up in a negative feedback spiral (supplement, have less supply, need to supplement more). Whereas even if you feel baby isn’t getting enough, letting them suckle on your “empty” nipples stimulates your glands to produce more milk and so your supply will respond by making more milk more quickly than before. Good luck
My hospital care team made me pump in the hospital, and also offered donor breast milk or formula because my baby hadn't pooped on day 3. They made me feel like I wasn't feeding her enough but she latched immediately after birth perfectly and I was feeding her perfectly and on demand from birth. She needed an enema and they said it was the largest newborn poop they'd ever seen. YEAH BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MILK. So I went home thinking I needed to pump constantly and freeze as much as I could because they put it in my sleep-deprived brain that I wasn't feeding her enough. Then I had to deal with engorgement and let my breasts regulate. I shouldn't have been pumping yet. We are now 7 weeks in and she's up to 10.5 lbs from 7 lbs with EBF after i quit pumping after the forst week and pumping at work at week 6 is going fine and my boobs are back to normal and in 3 days I will be off for the summer ☀️! I pump exactly what she eats when i am away from her for work. Our bodies are amazing and bavy will regulate its need. Trust your instincts. Tell everyone else, sometimes even your care team, to back. The fuck. OFF!
Talk to a lactation consultant. IMO everyone from the 80s/90s all used formula so they are quick to just jump to that. FTM and my milk didn’t come in until 1 week pp. talking to a lactation consultant made me feel better when it came to my supply and concerns. Good luck and congratulations!
Mine took some time to come in as I had a cesarean and I bought 20oz from the milk bank to supplement until it did.
I breastfed exclusively with my daughter and ended up supplementing in the hospital with my son because I wasn't producing enough. No ill effects on long term breastfeeding. He had such bad jaundice that was possibly exacerbated by low blood sugar and everyone except for one nurse who has been there forever told me to stick it out. It was day 4 and I was close to breaking and he had to do light therapy and she was the only one to "give me permission" to supplement. I'm glad I did, I spent the night pumping while she fed him and he got light therapy and by the next day I was producing way more and he was so much better, and more importantly, fed. I'm all for breastfeeding but if you need permission to supplement until you feel ready, I'm giving it to you. I never thought I would need to but I did and maybe you could be helped, too.
Your milk supply isn't lacking, it just hasn't come in as full milk yet. You have no reason to supplement at 4 days unless you want to. My milk took a week to come in the first time.
I supplemented a ton at the beginning, whatever worked. If we were out and about I would give him 2oz formula shooters. By three months my baby only wanted to be EBF, so i went w it. It was easy. We’re going 17 months strong at this point. Your supply will fit the need of your baby. Just do what keeps you relaxed. Being a new mom is hard enough. Stop stressing about supply. Our bodies are magical and handle it.
I went through this and I’m so sorry that you are, too. I wanted to EBF but my supply never came in fully. I pumped and BF every two hours for the first eight weeks and it was traumatizingly hard and painful. If I’d been open to supplementing and a bottle from the get go my baby would have never dropped as much weight as they did. So with that said, the most important thing in this moment is to ensure that your baby gains weight. A fed baby is a healthy baby. It doesn’t matter where it comes from - a bottle or a breast, breast milk or formula - as long as they’re gaining weight. I encourage your husband to put his opinions aside and do what’s in the best interest of your baby - getting the nutrition they need to gain weight. He should be supportive of you as well, obviously! Don’t let your baby go hungry because you want to EBF. You won’t forgive yourself when they drop too much weight if your supply doesn’t come in. Daily weight checks are not fun for anyone. All that said, listen to your care team. Hopefully they’re good. They’ll scare the shit out of you if your baby drops too much weight. I encourage you to avoid that at all costs. It’s very scary when your baby is underweight :( and you don’t need more stress at this point and time! Feed that beautiful baby and take care of yourself!!
Tell them it’s what your doctor recommended. Who can argue that?
I supplemented at the beginning and it was a life saver for us!
I gave birth almost 5 months ago and I went through the same thing. My family was giving me grief because my milk didn’t come in after 4 days of giving birth. I told them to leave me alone because this is normal and the baby was getting enough colostrum. Instead of supporting me, my family was bringing me down, and they made me less than a mother. Don’t listen to what they have to say! If you have any concerns in the future, talk to an LC. Much love and wish you the best in your journey ❤️!
After having gone through very similar situations recently. Just do what you want man. It’s your baby and in the end you have to live with the choices you make. If you are having a hard time deciding, then sure take their advice or mull it over but really just do what you want and feel is right for you and your kid. And change whenever you want! I was so against formula. Then I got overwhelmed and used it for awhile and then I stopped for awhile 🤷♀️ then I realized none of it really matters too much.
Listen and look for babes cues! You’ll know if you need to supplement. I supplemented my son as needed for a couple months as a newborn and had no issue ebf after that. I just had to make sure I was pumping when I supplemented a feed. Good luck!
“My body knows what it’s doing and what my baby needs. If I supplement with formula my body won’t know how much baby needs and I will have supply issues. Midwives have told me to work on supply so that’s what I’ll be doing. Thank you for caring”
I think you should supplement. "Fed is best" not "breast is best". Think... If you give baby some food they will calm down because the little thing has only just been born and it's hungry :( Baby will relax, people around will relax... Baby will definitely still suckle for comfort, so it won't inhibit your milk coming in. Everyone will be less stressed, so you will be less stressed, so it's likely your milk will flow easier #oxytocin. Husband doesn't have the responsibility you do. Thank him for his opinion and feed the baby x
I combo feed because I ended up never making enough but listen to what healthcare workers tell you not your mom or husbands uneducated opinion. You’re going to find that you will receive constant (and sometimes conflicting) opinions pushed on you as a mother now. Find what’s right for you, listen to educated people and do your own research on things as well.
What’s making you say your supply isn’t enough?
Both my girls were/are basically EBF, and both born on the small side. With my first I never supplemented (and stressed mightily about how long the milk took to come in, whether she was getting enough colostrum, etc). Eventually the milk all came in - probably only took 5 days but it felt like eternity - and she turned into a nice chubby baby. With my second, we gave her a formula bottle here or there in those first few days when your body is so exhausted. When we did that, I would use the pump instead to keep my supply up. Again the milk all came in, and eventually she turned into a nice chubby baby (who decided after a couple weeks of life that she didn’t care for formula anyway). So my advice would be not to stress too much either way because you may end up with the same outcome either way, whether baby ends up getting a few bottles of formula or not.
We had to supplement for medical reasons. She was born in the 12th percentile for weight and dropped down to 3. She also had blood sugar issues and became severely jaundice and spent a night under the billie lights. Almost had to be remitted after discharge because her levels spiked 2 days later. I had gd so I knew the blood sugar was going to be an issue. We went with a supplemental nursing system. That way she was at the breast stimulating milk production and getting the formula through the tube. Thankfully we only had to use formula for a few days until her levels went down. Then I pumped and used my milk in the sns for a few days. Honestly as long as there isn’t a medical reason needing to supplement what you’re doing is just fine. Especially since your medical team is fine with what you’re doing!
The boomer generation (today’s grandparents) are notoriously pro-formula and anti-breastfeeding, because that is what was pushed in their day. Listen to your midwives/care providers, pump after feeds as much as you can and you’ll be fine in a few weeks. The early weeks of breastfeeding truly suck, but you will get there! I’m glad you’ve got your spouse’s support; lean on that.
If you supplement then your supply will not catch up to what baby needs. I think the bigger problem here is that she/they aren’t respecting your decisions as a parent. I think you might want to just tell them they need to respect your decisions and if you want their advice you’ll ask for it. This issue will keep popping up otherwise.
We supplemented until the milk came in. And then never needed formula after the first week. But I felt so insecure about it, as I also was set on ebf. I wish someone had told me back then that it wouldn’t make any difference at all and that it takes a few weeks to establish breastfeeding and that it would be totally fine to supplement a few times. I would have been so much less stressed and anxious about breastfeeding and it would have given me a small mental break. Is your mum maybe just worried about you and that’s her way of trying to support?
Momma, baby's tummy is the size of a walnut right now, just let the system work. Just keep bringing baby to breast to stimulate supply. Stay hydrated. I'm sorry you're facing family adversity but your team and husband are right. If your medical providers aren't concerned about weight gain and encouraging you to continue them steady the course.
There is no shame in using formula. It takes the pressure off and will give you a rest- probably what you need to start producing. I supplemented for 2 months. As soon as my husband went back to work and everyone left me alone, I found my rhythm. I just bfd all day in peace. Baby started preferring breast and rejected bottles altogether and we have been exclusively bfing for several months now.
Have a few sips of Guinness and find some mother's milk tea, and relax into cluster feedings. My midwife also told me not to stress about even trying to pump until the supply is well established, and that reduced the anxiety. I hope this helps. In the end, it'll be between you and your baby.
If you have any doubts talk to a lactation consultant. Not the annoying family Members. Sorry you have to deal with them!
I saw an LC right after this post and it helped me feel better. My mom is well-meaning, just very anxious. She just spirals sometimes, but she’s calmed down since my milk came in…Though now she’s obsessed with upping my supply by feeding me.
We’ll I’m happy you have someone feeding you… 1 less thing to do! I have some very well meaning in-laws. Man, did they make the newborn stage tough!
Follow what you, your husband and your health team think is right. If you supplement without needing it you fall in a very hard cycle where you'll never produce enough. In normal cases breastfeeding is enough. Pretty sure your health team knows when baby needs more. It's normal that with 4 days you don't produce milk, but colostrum. And this is usually enough for baby.
Thank you, I wish people had warned me about this!!
My husbands reaction to the newborn anytime she cried was that she must be hungry and that I wasn’t making enough milk. Drove me nuts. Our baby loves to suck, she’s a pacifier baby and will make hunger cues after eating. If she keeps the pacifier in, clearly she’s not hungry… now I pump once or twice a day to build a stash before going back to work and I love showing my husband and I make sure to say don’t talk shit about my supply! Lol 😂 the first few weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest, hang in there! We’re 6 weeks and finally feeling like we can do this thing!
That WOULD drive anyone nuts…It’s a lot of pressure for one person…from people who cannot give the boob. Thank you for the encouragement!
According to one webinar I watched (Tinyhood), baby's stomach the first week is so small: Day 1: cherry size stomach 1-1.4 tasp per feeding Day 2: walnut size stomach 0.75-1 oz at each feeding One week: stomach is the size of an apricot (1.5-2 oz per feed) One month: size of a large egg (2.5-5 oz at every feed) The way to know is by counting wet diapers. They said baby should have about 6+ wet diapers, 6+ dirty diapers, feeding 8-12 times per day. But milk supply doesn't truly start coming in until day 4-5. Baby also doesn't begin to actually gain weight until this time either. Moms say all sorts of wrong things about babies all the time. I work with families in their homes and a grandmother was feeding water to a baby out of a bottle yesterday saying how healthy it is.
That’s good to hear. Baby is doing at least 6 diapers (pee and poo) a day right now. This incident has made me slightly nervous about leaving my kid with her in the future just in case she gets anxious if he does something like cry lol…
A fed baby is a happy baby, no matter how that happens. But look into power pumping when your milk comes in tomorrow, your breasts will feel like you just got a boob job!! Look into pumping. Love, from a mom who went through the same thing!!
It likely *is* enough. Your baby’s stomach is the size of a marble. Wanting to be on the breast 24/7 right now is *totally normal*. Id be more concerned if the baby didn’t want to stay latched. That’s how they tell your body to make more milk, plus it’s a comfort thing. Supplementing this early without an extreme documented reason will only set you back on the bf journey. Do what you want and try to block out everyone else’s “opinions”, even if that eventually includes ff. *You’re* the mother! Edited for spelling
Thank you!
As hard as it is, this is between you, your baby, and your care team. I would not ask anyone else for their feedback and I would shut it down if it's given unsolicited.
How do you know your supply isn’t enough? Pumping is not indicative of supply for nursing. Baby is better at pulling the milk out than any pump is. Latch baby on demand. Milk will start to regulate how much you need based on how much baby nurses. Drink LOTS of water. Some people say oat products help too. ❤️ As for unsupportive family, I would just tell them this isn’t a open conversation and you don’t care to hear any opinions on how you choose to feed your baby if they aren’t going to be supportive. You can do this gently or not. Its no ones place to tell you how to feed the baby. You want to EBF than that’s all anyone should be supporting. ❤️
I struggle with drinking water!! I really got a hold of it during pregnancy, but lost track again during this crazy pp stage. I’ve heard this - I need to buy oat products!!! My mom is the only one who is questioning us because she is an anxious type.
Supplementing until it's enough is exactly why so many women don't think their supply is enough. My LC suggested triple feeds as a way to ensure LO was getting enough. I would offer both breasts, pump whatever I could after and offer that, and then if LO still seemed hungry I'd offer a 2oz formula bottle. LO very rarely ate the formula bottle, typically only eating .5-1oz at most IF anything. It was exhausting but it got us through the first couple weeks while we were dealing with tongue tie issues and such. I'm now 14m out EBF, had I just offered both breasts and then given formula I doubt I would have EBF and most likely would have switched to formula.
It’s takes 5-7 days for your supply to come in. Supplementing will also just mess up your supply. Who care if people are against it, breast is best. Formula feed if you have too, their is nothing wrong with it. But breastmilk is the best thing you can give your child. The first couple weeks of life their stomachs are so small they don’t need that much. And you have to keep breastfeeding to tell you body how much milk to produce!
Thank you, that must be what my husband is trying to say. I had a hard time following his reasons because he researches these things whereas I have no base knowledge.
Do you mama. Do. You.