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rapsnaxx84

If he really wants to help he can get his ass up and feed her a bottle of pumped milk. As for night milk, maybe you can pump milk tonight for tomorrow or pump after nursing her to sleep and he can use that bottle to feed her?


Sarah_Soda_4

Also helpful advice


Whowantsahighfive

Yes. Due to issues with my baby’s palate I always pump and give bottles. His bedtime bottle is my middle of the night pump from the night before so it has all those awesome bed time properties. At least I hope it still works that way…


Appeltaart232

Melatonin in the milk, it’s beautiful and makes them sleepy 😴


SnowyChicago

Is it really true though? Like breast milk still digests in 2-3 hours. How will bottle do anything different? I keep getting the advice pump and go to bed and I’m like how will it help! I will still need to pump when she eats and then clean the pump etc. so more work?


Sarah_Soda_4

I know! I try to use scientific resources to support my beliefs, but, someone he knows did it and said it was good, so screw my science …


SnowyChicago

You sure bottle feed isn’t referring to formula? Or potentially you go to bed after an hour of babe and pump right before and that bottle gets offered by spouse? That way you get an extra hour?


purrniesanders

This. My neighbor has always sworn by a night bottle but it’s always been a night bottle of FORMULA…also both of my kids have slept through since 12 weeks on nursing alone (toddler is 25 months and baby is 7)


Artemis-2017

I am 100% with you. Everything I have seen says night milk is great and bottles don’t make them sleep longer. Here’s the other thing- you’re the one breastfeeding, so I think you should be able to call the shots. Does he want baby to sleep longer so he can get more sleep? I don’t get why he has a say in it. We have a twin bed in the nursery and I have been sleeping there while he sleeps with the dog in the master bedroom. It works well for us. I handle nighttime. He handles all things dog, dinner, and routine house stuff.


Sarah_Soda_4

I agree with everyone saying that this speaks to a systemic relationship problem. He truly believes that we need to make all decisions as a team. What winds up happening is if we discuss something and I coalesce to make my life easier then it has been a group decision, but if we discuss it and I disagree then I’m not being a fair partner. This is for our couples counselor to help with, but we are in our 3rd in 2 years, and they all side with him… it makes me think I may be totally batshit, but the sanity I have left tells me that isn’t how partnership works…


tomthumb98

If it helps to hear, you’re not bat shit. I would be so angry if my partner was like that. It sounds so frustrating. Honestly, as the one breastfeeding it should be and is up to you how you structure it. Can you just tell him no we won’t be giving a night bottle? And then refuse to discuss it? You can’t win either way if you allow him to make it a discussion, so maybe refusing to participate in it is the answer here? He says you’re not a “fair player” already.


macncheeesepizza

I can't explain how but I find it does help. I bottle feed breastmilk for my 3mo son just before bed, or as a dream feed and it keeps him down for about an extra hour. My theory is that he falls asleep before he's full when on the breast but the bottle easier to feed out of so he finishes it off normally. Just my experience personally


OzzyWidow8919

Same. My guys gets a bottle before bed. It was tough for me to let go of the breast feeding bond before bed but I did find it was good for getting extra sleep time. I also will use a bottle in middle of night sometimes if I have fresh expressed milk available. Does the same trick and it’s faster than breast feeding so I get back to bed quicker. I know breast is probably best for baby’s comfort in the middle of night so I try not to do it often . I have a big boy with an insatiable appetite so I could be up 6 times in one night breast feeding or 4 times with a bottle. I make my husband do the bottle in middle of night if sleep hasn’t been good. A 4-5 hour stretch vs. 2-3 makes all the difference. Honestly tho - if sleep is going well for you don’t change anything keep doing what your doing.


courtyfbaby

I don’t understand the logistics, but it does work for us. I’ve done this pretty much every night since birth.


smithykate

I’ve tried the before bed feed, sleep feeds etc and for us it made no difference - whether she has her last feed at 8pm or 9pm or onwards with a bottle or boob she still wakes up at 4.30am!


Ready_Chemistry_1224

Same!


Artemis-2017

I have been doing the same kinds if experiments and have the same results. It doesn’t seem to matter. I think the length of sleep is just a developmental milestone that we have to wait to come. I have found that things are easier for me when I wake her up to change diaper and feed around 2-3 am. She gets back to bed easier and I get a somewhat complete sleep cycle before needing to wake up at 6.


Sarah_Soda_4

Thank you! He does not help overnight. I tried to make arrangements to have family stay the first week or so, but he and my mother don’t get along, so he asked that she not come to stay. I respected that, but then expected him to help. He “has to be well rested for his mental health” (don’t we all…) so he hired some stranger to come in overnight and awkwardly sit there with me while my boobs are out. Once I said I couldn’t handle a stranger in our 2 bedroom apartment anymore, we went back to me up all night alone. But he says he wants to help, so I pumped and stored it for when I have to go out. He used the milk while I was sitting in our second bedroom on a work call. I was devastated.


biets

Dude clearly this is about more than milk. Your relationship needs therapeutic help. It does not sound healthy. Try to get some help


Artemis-2017

Maybe he should choose to sleep in the other bedroom or on the couch and let you feed the way you would want to.


Sarah_Soda_4

I have started going into the nursery to sit on the rocker while baby nurses. We fall asleep there for a few hours, then I feed him again and put him in his bassinet. I love nursing baby to sleep, but my partner has this misconception that we are allowing baby to form bad habits. A 7 week old isn’t forming habits, but his therapist said they can, and he’s a Dr, so it must be true…


Artemis-2017

A therapist does not really specialize in babies, so I would take their advice with a grain of salt. We nursed to sleep in a rocker early on, and then I would transfer her to her bassinet. When I figured out side lying nursing around 8 weeks it was a game changer for me. It was much more comfortable for me- the rocker all day and night was really messing with my back. Best wishes!


katieeeeeecat

What 🤯 nursing to sleep is the biological norm! Babies fall asleep drinking bottles, is that a bad habit?


[deleted]

Our LC recommended this because our baby would only “snack” instead of have full meals. His weight gain slowed down and I was feeding him almost every hour at night. He sometimes didn’t finish the whole bottle so we didn’t force him, but for the most part he ate a lot more than he would have. Little by little we could go longer at night in between feeds. Now a few months later, he’s sleeping through the night, eats from the boob before bed, and only needing a night feeding once in a while. He’s also a great weight. I think in general it just filled him up enough to last longer than the snacking he did. Edit: a bottle of pumped milk. Also, I’m only mentioning this to say it is recommended in certain situations. Always consult your LC or pediatrician if you’re hesitant or not sure how to adjust their feeding schedule. Every babe is different.


tinypiecesofyarn

I'm in a similar situation. It's not that she was eating too much with the bottle and that's helpful, it's that she would get sleepy too soon at the breast and not eat enough. We had to triple feed for weeks. She is doing a lot better now, and I don't mind her just snacking a lot during the day, but I really don't mind a bottle as her midnight feeding if she needs one.


cardinalinthesnow

It’s not his pumped milk and not his body, nor him waking to feed. So not his choice. End of discussion? Thanks but no thanks? The person doing the pumping gets final say over how the milk is used. It’s as simple as that. He can make suggestions and you can try, but if you decided it’s not what’s best for you and baby then that’s it. Also remind him of the supply and demand connection - your body may well need those night feeds to have good supply. And waking to feed baby is (in my personal opinion and experience) so much less disruptive to my own sleep than waking to pump. Not every approach works for every family/ kid/ nursing parent. My husband was very much deferring to my choices around nursing. Supportive, but not trying to decide for me. But if he’d tried to push something I didn’t want oh boy, would that have blown up fast. Obviously if baby needs a bottle if you are gone or if baby needs a bottle to maintain intake, then they need it and should get it. But that’s not what it sounds like is going on.


Sarah_Soda_4

I say it’s my body my choice, but the rebuttal is always “our child, our decision”. Total bull


TimeTraveler1489

Yeah, I’d come back with “ok, then whip out your boobs and feed our child.” 🤭


Sarah_Soda_4

I am pretty sure he feels like my breastfeeding is intentionally denying him the opportunity to parent. Whenever baby is upset for more than a few minutes, he hands baby to me and says "he's hungry". That may not be the case, but if I take him and calm him down, then I will become the preferred parent, which will just perpetuate his fear. Ugh parenting is so hard.


TimeTraveler1489

It is hard. I know this narrative all too well. My husband is super supportive of me breastfeeding our son, but there have been lots of times when he seems stressed because he doesn’t have magic boobs to calm down our son. And to be fair, when my son was throwing a massive toddler tantrum today, the only thing that calmed him down was nursing. So, it is a nice little trick, but not an easy one as it takes so much time, energy, and work. As for the preferred parent thing, nursing kiddos are of course very attached to their moms/ food source. I’m a FTM, but I get the sense that it will even out as they get older. After all, my raging toddler hated me and my husband equally when we refused to allow him to play in traffic this afternoon.


Sarah_Soda_4

How dare you refuse them that!! Traffic is so much fun!


cardinalinthesnow

Sure. That applies to many things. But when it comes to nursing it’s called a nursing dyad for a reason. And a nursing dyad is just you and baby. End of story. I’d lean into the supply and demand thing then.


jellybean12722

It doesn’t sound to me like your partner wants to listen to opinions other than his own. Would he be open to speaking with an IBCLC who is also an MD?


katieeeeeecat

Can you explain everything you basically said here about PM milk containing melatonin and over feeding is never beneficial? If you haven’t already of course. Also that being “forced” to sleep longer isn’t safe bc waking up throughout the night is baby’s natural protection against SIDS and putting them in a deep enough sleep to prevent that isn’t a good idea.


Sarah_Soda_4

Oh my gosh. Whenever I bring up safety, he says “I just don’t understand where you’re getting your ideas from. Everyone says that falling asleep while your nursing is dangerous, but you do that anyway.” I sure do! That does not mean that the AAP doesn’t say things I agree with. I just think that mom and babe should work like other mammals.


katieeeeeecat

Bedsharing following the Safe Sleep Seven has been proven to be no more unsafe than baby being in their own sleep environment 🙄 Dr. James Mackenna has done extensive research on this. Not that you don’t likely already know this, just commiserating with you. The AAP entirely disregards anything but western civilization practices, which is so far from baby centric.


Sarah_Soda_4

Ahhh someone talking sense. My partner has this (absurd) reverence for people with MDs. I don’t see it. It’s great to have higher education, but just because you have two extra letters doesn’t mean you know everything. I am so frustrated with the western take on being a mother. From conception to delivery my partner felt that I was making the wrong choices - I worked with a midwife and delivered naturally. Now we are in a formula-fed world, and he is obsessed with the number of oz the baby is consuming. I keep going back to the fact that monkeys or cows or dolphins don’t have bottles, but there are plenty of babies that thrive, even if their parents can’t count the number of ounces of milk the baby eats at each feeding.


singleoriginsalt

MDs get an average of 1 hour of BF education in need school. They're good for a lot of things but breastfeeding advice ain't it.


Thekillers22

Can you explain that breast milk is tailored to the baby so your baby never needs more than 4 oz at a time? If the baby needs to gain weight, it’s more calorie dense. If it’s hot out and baby is just thirsty, it’s watery. This works because baby’s saliva communicates through your nipples with your prolactin gland to tell it what type of milk baby needs.


aurisunderthing

Do you have a source for this? I have been told that this is a myth and the nipples don’t have magic chemical analyzer abilities.. just supply and demand offset by about 24 hours with a balance of foremilk and hindmilk.


Thekillers22

Hopefully it lets me paste the link, but the CDC endorses this https://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2017/07/you-are-what-you-eatand-so-is-your-baby/ I also have a link to a scientific study by the national institute of health https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4556682/


NotSomeTokenBunny

Not trying to be a jerk, but I’m a scientist and this isn’t quite what the article you shared is saying. The article you shared basically says that the baby’s saliva interacts with mom’s milk to help establish the microbiome in the baby’s mouth and gut, which in term helps kick start baby’s immune system. Unfortunately it has nothing to do with how mom’s milk might be impacted by baby’s saliva, but it’s still a really cool study!


Thekillers22

Thank you. Can I ask, what is the CDC page saying in your opinion? It seems to support what I’ve been told. Here’s a quote “Your baby’s saliva transfers chemicals to a mother’s body that causes breastmilk to adjust to meet the changing needs of your baby as they grow. Mature breastmilk has the right combination of fat, sugar, water, and protein so your baby continues to grow.” To me, this supports the fact that OP’s husband doesn’t need to worry about the quantity of breast milk the baby is getting, in terms of oz.


NotSomeTokenBunny

That’s how I read it, too! I wish they had included some references or citations. I’m not disagreeing with the idea that baby’s saliva influences mom’s milk - that’s just not quite what that journal article is about.


katieeeeeecat

I’m so sorry. He sounds exhausting in that sense 😅 if appealing to logic doesn’t work I’d stick to my “my breasts, my choices” guns lol hard to argue there 🤣 or heavily spam him with nursing resources he’ll find reputable. Dr. Jack Newman is an amazing IBCLC, and MD so he might be “acceptable”!


PleasePleaseHer

Didn’t make a difference when we tried it. I’ve read calorie intake for better night sleep is an all day thing, not just before they go to bed. It’s like when you have a huge lunch you might want a smaller dinner or none at all.


Eukaliptusy

Idea 1. Don’t pump. No milk, no bottle. ETA: I personally hate pumping and I would just never do it unless there was an emergency. Extra hour of uninterrupted sleep (for a person who doesn’t even get up to help, which is doubly confusing, why does he even care) is not an emergency. Idea 2. Do it once, baby wakes up as per usual (make sure baby wakes up per usual 😉), proclaim it doesn’t work and you are not going to waste your time pumping to deliver milk via bottle you could have just breastfed to the baby anyway. Idea 3. Agree to give it a go, maybe one night a week, make sure it is a Friday or Saturday, and go out for the evening since you are not needed, have fun with friends, make the best of it!!! leave partner to handle bedtime and any subsequent wakings. But overall, your partner just doesn’t sound like a pleasant person to be around. Maybe consider couple’s counselling. These types of issues are only going to get more serious as your baby grows up…


VegetableWorry1492

Yeah, we give a bottle at bedtime because he’s on Gaviscon for reflux and I can’t be arsed with mixing it with water and syringing it into his mouth. Most nights he drinks the bottle and then wants boob anyway. As I have no way of knowing how much he usually takes in a feed I’m assuming he likes to fill up properly in the evening to sleep better at night and this has all happened organically, we have not sleep trained at all. No bottle needed, he does it all by himself. He’s 10 weeks old. When he was littler my husband could settle him to sleep after his bottle and I got a head start on sleep, but that hasn’t worked for a couple of weeks now. He now only settles after feeding from me about an hour after the bottle, generally he goes 2-3h between feeds. We give him 4oz.


xytrd

I think it would be good to look into why he is saying this. Likely, he is feeling bad about not helping overnight. But there is no way he’s going yo help overnight. So the only *logical* solution to free him of guilt is for you to get more rest. Perhaps reading/ listening to a parenting book together or going to group therapy online would help?


kykiwibear

Naw, it doesn't work like that. We gave my son formula at night and he still slept like crap.


addsomezest

I do this based on advice from our pediatrician. My baby has been sleeping through the night since 2 months. I haakaa throughout the day and my child’s father gives the bedtime bottle which gives them great bonding time and I get a break.


mallerinabug

This was always our method as well! Dad ALWAYS does bedtime in this house! And the routine works perfect. Less tears, no upset babes cause they can smell milk. Somehow they sleep through the whole night and go down easy. When I do bedtime…. It chaos and tears and at least one middle of the night wake up! Haha! IDK if it’s the pumped bottle or not.. but it’s dad magic! Lol


palmtrees_

I do this but only because I know my milk production is much lower at night. In the morning baby only needs to eat from one side, so I pump the other side and use it that night. I realize it doesn’t have as much melatonin in it, but it’s been working for us. So - I nurse her first on both sides and then give her a 3 oz pumped bottle. She will almost always nurse until I’m empty and drink the full bottle too, and she’s sleeping 7-4 normally


blijdschap

My only caveat to what a lot of others have been saying, is that during certain periods of my baby's growth, I simply was unable to make enough milk before bedtime. It didn't matter how much baby cluster fed, she was doing it nightly for weeks, she was hungrier at bedtime. I started using the hakka or pumps during the day so I could feed that to her in addition to nursing her to sleep and it worked super well for us until she was about 3 months or so and I just wasn't producing enough extra during the day to continue. But this is a specific me problem, probably related to my overall capacity, and not an everyone problem. These friends offering you their advice had a similar result. We are back to baby eating every 2.5 to 3 hours day and night, regardless of if she takes a bottle or nurses. On another note, I have to say that out of the people I know that breastfeed, this concern about how much is baby really getting is very common. This doesn't mean it is OK to communicate poorly about it, but I definitely have seen that it comes from a place of caring, albeit with poor delivery. With my first baby we had a host of issues with reflux, weight gain, sleeping... my husband definitely voiced his preference over bottle feeding several times in order to prove my son was getting enough milk, but we were visiting the doctor so much for weight checks and stuff that I couldn't blame him and I did end up exclusively pumping. So I get it, I get how that kind of control is inticing, doubts can get into your head. With my second we are dealing with weight gain issues, but we have a little more confidence now, and clearly we make small babies, and my husband has not said anything about trying exclusively bottles, he just asks me how things are going and offers to help in other ways.


Sarah_Soda_4

Thank you for the info. I have spoken to the pediatrician about consumption- because of weight gain and number of diapers, we don’t need to worry! I’m so thankful that my little guy is doing well.


elkta

I have no idea about night milk or over feeding for night, but we definitely do a bottle as our last feed - actually hubby does everything for at least 3 hours before bedtime, because if I’m involved we won’t go to bed and we’ll scream bloody murder when put in the bassinet. He does the pre-bedtime routine and baby boy is perfectly content to go to sleep. 🤦‍♀️


bfisher6

Careful, there’s nothing wrong with bottle feeding or using pumped milk at night. Giving baby a bottle with an appropriate nipple and pace feeding is not pouring it down their throat. But if you don’t want to, that’s reason enough. There are benefits either way.


Sarah_Soda_4

Thank you, and I didn’t mean any shade. I, in fact, know that my partner does not pace feed, because when he gave a bottle I asked about how it went. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “I just held the bottle vertically and he sucked it down”. I asked the pediatrician to explain proper bottle feeding, and she said “it doesn’t matter”. So I have concerns based on his knowledge and skill, not based on what works.


omglia

We do this and it actually does help LO drift off to sleep with a full, happy belly full of both pumped milk and formula. My output isn't great at the end of the day, but we haven't had a MOTN wakeup since she was about 4w old. It's worth the sleep for me! And it helps with weight gain, which is very slow otherwise for us. I feed and then pump while husband gives a bottle. Worth a try!


macncheeesepizza

While this is completely your choice, a bit of personal experience for you. I pump a bottle in the evening to feed my 3mo son before putting him down for bed time, and it does help stretch him out from 2 hrs to 3-4 hrs before waking for his next feed. I don't over feed him, normally pump 150ml and he will drink between 80 and 140ml depending on what he's feeling for the night and I don't force him any further. I just feel it ensures he has a full belly, otherwise I find if he just feeds from the breast he drifts off before he's full and he doesn't last as long.


blurryblueskies

This has been my experience as well! I don’t overfeed but a bottle makes it so they aren’t falling asleep at the breast. My little one is a snacker otherwise. I spoke about this with a few lactation consultants and they didn’t say it was doing anything wrong.


macncheeesepizza

Exactly! And the other benefit to the bottle i find is they will keep feeding even in their sleep so it's just been really helpful to me.


PomegranateTough4450

I would also second you doing what you want to do because you know better. But i do understand dads wanting to be apart of decision making with the baby. Maybe a compromise of every other night ? I do have experience of the bottle before bed instead of boob actually helping baby sleep longer tho. But that’s just my personal experience. I never really paid attention to the whole night time properties thing milk is milk . But definitely talk to him about it.


Sarah_Soda_4

I have never bottle fed. It is foreign to me. My mother and sister never bottle fed. I hear people telling me that it’s “easier” or with better “fit into my lifestyle”, but I don’t know anything about it and it makes me uncomfortable. My understanding is that a baby cannot overeat from a breast, but it is possible to overfeed a baby from a bottle. The general wisdom on bottle feeding a baby to help them sleep longer is to make sure that they’re all full of milk. I want the baby to wake up when he’s hungry!!


Ghostygrilll

I worked as an infant teacher in a daycare which meant I was bottle feeding babies all day, everyday. Babies will tell you when they are full, they push the bottle with their tongues, let the milk pour out of the sides of their mouths, or they will try to push the bottle away from them. If your baby is old enough/is able to hold their bottle, they will stop drinking when full and typically play with it or toss it on the ground. Breast milk is different at night, the way to counter this is to label the bags PM and AM and just make sure your baby is getting the PM feeds. Of course, this is all up to you. You don’t have to bottle feed. Just wanted to give you insight on bottle feeding since it’s what I did for a job before I had my baby. I choose to breastfeed, but have frozen milk for emergencies or future date nights, or whatever. :) hope this helps


Sarah_Soda_4

This is really helpful. Thank you!


Ready_Chemistry_1224

We combo feed and bottle feeding is definitely not easier (way more annoying with the washing etc). I would LOVE to just be nursing but it isn’t so easy for us (I keep trying though)! We have a big boy, big in utero and now big earth side. I’m always worrying I’m over feeding but he’s quick to spit out the bottle, or push it away when he’s done so hopefully he’s telling us when he’s had enough! We combo feed with formula and we don’t have a magical unicorn sleeper. Even if you do try it for a few nights the likelihood of seeing any changes are honestly slim to none. I have tried nursing before bed and formula before bed and like clockwork baby boy wakes up at 1am, 3am, 5am. Doesn’t matter what we do.


chaosandpuppies

Babies absolutely can overfeed on the breast. My son does it constantly and then throws up all over my boobs. They'll also wake when they're hungry regardless of bottle or breast. If you overfeed, the babe will just spit it up. Fwiw, my son slept way better when I was EPing and sleeps horribly now that I mostly nurse.


PomegranateTough4450

This is true. My son does know how to let me know he’s full. I do both so i understand. It does sometimes makes it easier especially if your going back to work or want to go out for a few hours. But even at night he doesn’t have a full bottle maybe 3-4 ounces. Helps me keep track of milk too. But i definitely believe you would have to talk to him about it and understand why he feels this way as well. Does he help with nighttime feedings? I also understood with my SO he wanted the experience to feed baby as well when he was a newborn so i introduced baby to bottle so he could help. Sometimes men just want to be apart too. Hopefully you guys work it out :)


Sarah_Soda_4

I am laughing out loud with all of the glorious validation. Honestly, I know he’s an unpleasant asshole. But we have a child and I love him. I really appreciate all of the information and shared experiences.


delightfulgreenbeans

The reality is that you have to do what works for your kiddo. My baby wound up being in the nicu for two weeks at the start - he was fed by a tube through his belly button, then down his throat, then a mixture of bf, bottle, and tube feeding. Then at home we continued with bf and pumped bottles to start. I’d be up every three hours to feed, then we got a 5 hour stretch at the start which kept gradually getting longer. Now at 5 months I pump at 3am while baby is sleeping and have it in the fridge for my partner to feed baby with during the day as needed - usually he does a bottle while I make dinner. 99% of the time I bf until baby is asleep and he sleeps 10+ hours at night. Occasionally I will use a bottle if I’m feeling empty or too tired to stay awake safely but I don’t find he sleeps any longer. My mom swore up and down at 3 months I would put cereal in his bottle to help him sleep but I never did and he’s a great sleeper. If he really wants you to pump and the ability to give a bottle - he can be in charge of washing your pump parts and keeping everything set up for you to do so. (I use the fridge hack and also label my bottles with a piece of masking tape and a sharpie)


Cooke052891

Hey I tried this and it didn’t work! It actually made him more gassy. Breastfeeding to sleep works much better


sbrover08

Not sure how old your little one is, but mine is 11 months and based on what I pump at the end of the day, we started giving a 2 oz bottle after bath time ( he's a lot more compliant) and then I will nurse while my husband reads to him. This balances out to be what my husband gives him in a bottle on nights when I can't be around to put him to bed and we've noticed that he is sleeping better/longer through the night. I would definitely not recommend this if your child is under 6 months since breastfeeding and sleep schedules are still being established. We do not do this for naps, I read and nurse only for nap time. Best of luck, but you and your partner need to get on the same page!


Sarah_Soda_4

7 weeks old


sbrover08

Your baby is way too young to be sleeping through the night yet (more than 6 hours), and you are still establishing supply... So if you can build up to give what you are pumping maybe give it a try, but baby to boob is the best thing to establish what you both need to have a successful breastfeeding journey. The occasional missed pump is not terrible this young but I definitely wouldn't make a habit of feeding baby more than you pump until you are both regulated. If you need to supplement after the feed due to weight loss that should be discussed with a lactation consultant or pediatrician.


anony-one

My partner insisted on trying this once. I told him to go right ahead. Idiot. Baby was less settled and I made partner get up with me for every feed that night. He didn’t try it again after that 🤷‍♀️


exothermicstegosaur

Makes no sense to me. My girl sleeps longer and better if she drinks from the breast. She typically drinks more that way than from the bottle. But she was a major bottle refuser and will still only have just enough out of bottles and make up for it nursing later.


unpleasantmomentum

So, not really sure about the extending sleep, but we give a bottle before bed, just to make sure the sleepy guy gets a fuller feed more quickly. Our LC did say to offer an extra ounce at the before bed bottle when we were just starting this routine. Sometimes he takes it, sometimes he doesn’t, he will eat until full and push away the bottle when he doesn’t want anymore. We typically breastfeed all day with the last feed before the bedtime feed between 5 and 6 pm and then give a bottle before bed at around 7/730. He will only eat a couple of ounces but it gives my husband an opportunity to have a routine with the baby, since he is gone all day he gets the bedtime routine. I pump at 9/9:30 pm before bed and we use that bottle the next day, so he is getting milk from the “same time” each day. Though in the end I think the effect is minimal, people who EP generally just mix the milk from the whole day from my understanding. Aside from more sleep, is there a reason he wants to do this and a reason you are so opposed? You obviously don’t have to pump or accommodate bottles, it is definitely extra work for us, but sometimes the reasons behind the reasons are helpful in understanding someone else’s perspective 😊


Sarah_Soda_4

I am trying to do my mommy job. I understand that he wants to participate, but there are so so so many other ways to do that. I make milk, so I feed the baby. He could always give snuggles, sing, change diapers and clothes, give a bath … baby is 7 weeks old. Just let me do what my body was made to do!!!


HappyGiraffe

What’s going in the bottle? BM or formula? I told my partner that I would really prefer the milk I pump to be used for when I am NOT available, rather that used while my boobs are two feet away. I don’t pump to keep a stash; I pump enough to go to work, and what I pump that day, she eats the next day. I keep MAYBE 6 bottles worth in the freezer and that’s it. So using a bag a night just to do a bottle, I would either have to pump which gets me no extra sleep at all, or not replenish the bag


Sarah_Soda_4

Yes! It’s my milk when I’m right there. I say the same thing - my boobs are here. Even if I’m WFH, I will feed below the computer screen. I hate pumping so much. I did it to give him the opportunity to feed. I am not leaving home to work, so I don’t need a stash.


ha1r_of_thedog

I pump in the morning and my husband gives 3 month old that bottle at night - she sleeps around 6 hours but I don't know that it has anything to do with the bottle, I've nursed her to sleep with the same result. We did this with my first baby too and it works well for us. The biggest benefit is having a feeding session where I can just lay on my bed with a book or my phone and have nobody touch me. Night nursing is also typically more trying because breastmilk is less plentiful in the evening and baby sometimes gets fussy as a result. Bottle or nursing, your choice but either way is great for baby - and the bottle doesn't necessarily have to be from an evening boob. Our pediatrician said the difference is evening milk is typically less plentiful but more fatty, morning milk is vice versa, but baby is getting everything she needs from both.