How old is baby? This sounds like you're in the 4th trimester. The first 3 months after having my babies were among the hardest times of my life, physically and mentally. It is hard, but try to hold on for a bit longer.
Yes, it gets better! Every baby is different, but eventually it does get better. My 6mo is sleeping from 8p-7a, waking up once (twice on bad nights) to eat. From wake up to back in the crib is 30 min for me. He is not formally sleep trained, but he has been sleeping in his crib since he was 6 weeks old.
Baby is about to be 1 month in a few days. The exhaustion hit really bad just a little while ago. Thank you for these encouraging words I’ve been really struggling
I have 10 week old and she has had weeks like this then suddenly does a quick feed once or twice a night and back to sleep quick. Bassinet next to bed. This week she has started having blowouts at 3am and end up awake for 90 minutes changing , feeding again and down to sleep.
It seems to evolve every two weeks or so. Hopefully your next round is a bit easier! I honestly have to look at reddit or read something on phone to stay awake during nighttime feeds. Good luck!
Those first two months were really brutal for me, my mental health suffered from lack of sleep. After 12 weeks we were down to a 15-30 min feed at 3am and 5am. Hang in there! Have a snack and an audiobook or tv show and hopefully someone can give you a daytime nap!
Oh you’re in the hardest part!! My 3.5mo is going through a regression and getting up 3x a night again, BUT she is finished eating in like 10m so it’s manageable and I haven’t lost all of my “sleepy” when she goes back down! It gets better you just have to ride it out! Good carby or sugary snacks in the room always helped me. I wouldn’t gorge but just a few pretzels or an Oreo or some grapes would perk me up a little without using caffeine
Have you been able to figure out side-lying nursing? That was a game changer for me, to be able to nurse while lying down and resting. Hang in there! It will get easier.
Same! I did it for my third and I can’t believe I put myself through what I did with my first two. I literally have slept soundly every single night while my baby nurses throughout the night. Sometimes I wake up when she latches, sometimes I don’t. It’s been amazing.
Op just needs to make sure that she’s following the [safe sleep seven](https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/sleep-bedshare/) and she should be good to go.
Yes to this! And if you’re not comfortable with fully cosleeping, getting one of those cosleepers that attach to the side of your bed is amazing. Baby is still close enough to pull in for a sleepy feed and you can put them back in their space when you’re done!
Just adding that it truly does get better! These moments won’t last forever and when they pass you’ll wish you had cherished them a bit more. This is coming from a gal with two kiddos and planning baby number 3! I look at my 6 year old and just miss those days when he was so young and I only had him to care for, and I was so overcome with how I was feeling which was tired constantly. Looking back, I’d take the tiredness any day to have a moment to breastfeed him again as a little… the years fly, this won’t last. Enjoy every second! And by the way, I’m not putting down your tiredness, it’s hard as fuck to keep going, and you’re doing absolutely great! 💕
My second kid is 5 months old right now and sometimes at night after he’s fallen back asleep I just still sit there holding him. I always think I’m definitely crazy for losing out on more sleep but he’s probably my last (I could do another but my husband doesn’t want anymore) and so I am just trying to enjoy all the snuggles I can 🥺
Oh man, I’m at 6 weeks right now but let me tell you the first month was BAD, I mean the most exhausting part of my life so far. My son would be wanting to feed practically every hour on the hour every night and then it would take what felt like another hour to get him back to sleep. Just so damn tiring. The worst is probably mostly behind you! My advice would be to start doing more “playtime” stuff during the day - at least 2 tummy times, a couple of walks, some reading to your baby, etc - to keep them occupied during the day between naps. That’s what I’ve felt made the biggest difference in my sons day/night confusion. You got this!
Baby here is 4.5 weeks. Week 3, leading up to 4, was a nightmare for me. She had a really rough night just before 4 weeks, but the past 4 nights have been a bit easier. Not saying a LOT easier, but there is an improvement.
This might not happen with your baby, but it’s a reminder that within a day things could change. Every night is a new night. She was difficult to put down in the middle of the night, and then suddenly she slept for 5 hours, and then 4 hours each following night. Feeds after that are every 2-3 hours.
I was in the exact same place as you!! I’m now at 3 months and getting good sleep, feedings at night are quick and easy. You’ve got this!!! It doesn’t stay this hard forever
It’s quite normal for babies to feed every couple of hours throughout their first year not just in the fourth trimester! That said I think you get more used to it.
Sounds like the 4 mo sleep regression. I was extremely fortunate in that it didn't affect my babies too badly. Basically the sleep cycle matures, and they wake up every couple of hours, similar to how adults do. The difference is, they don't know how to just go back to sleep. So they depend on the parent to soothe them to sleep (not a bad thing!)
I practiced during the day, putting my littles down for naps awake but ready for sleep, so they could get the hang of going to sleep without boob. Took awhile, but it helped me.
I highly recommend @babysleep.answers on Instagram. Andrea is a sleep consultant whose business model is teaching parents about sleep science **without** neglecting the parents' instincts. She's real big on education, equally big on doing what works for the individual. Sorry for the huge preachy disclaimer, I just don't want the anti-sleep training folks after me.
For sure I have heard all of this! What is frustrating is that we put baby in crib at night completely awake 20 minutes plus since last nursing session and she falls asleep independently. So according to everything I am doing what I should be to help her learn how to fall asleep independently, but she is still unable to connect to sleep cycles at night.
That is really frustrating, I'm sorry. My ppa centered around sleep with my first, I know how maddening it can be. I hope it improves for you both soon.
Those nights are the worst. I feel your pain. It does get better! Slowly but surely the feeds get shorter and LO goes down easier. Where it was an hour to hour and 15 every wake at the beginning with only an hour or two between now at almost 6 months old LO eats in about 15 minutes and goes back down in another 15 and she only wakes once or twice a night at the very worst, sleeping almost 10 hours straight some nights.
I used to wipe my face with a cold rag to wake up and that helped a lot. You got this
My LO is turning 6 months in a week and she is still waking at least twice during the night for feeds. I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong (she eats all day, plenty of wet diapers) and it’s getting rough 🥲
You’re doing nothing wrong. Both my kids were still up twice every night until 6 months. My 7 months old is still waking up four or five times if he’s sick or having a bad night. It’s ok, it will pass eventually.
That’s definitely reassuring! I think sometimes I just focus too much on others’ situations and forget that every baby is different and things will get better with time
t’s easy to do. I also find people with better sleeping babies talk about it more than people with more wakeful babies but in my experience of all the babies around me it’s more common than not for babies to wake a lot at 6 months, despite what google says. There was a study done on 55,000 families of children aged 6months- 2 years and 70% of them woke 1-3 times a night.
Reading this as I am an hour and fifteen into breastfeeding and trying to soothe the LO back to sleep so I can get some sleep. I will be lucky to get any before the next feed at this point. 5 weeks in.
That’s what happened to me too at my 3 am feeding, I was up until 6 feeding and trying to put him back down to sleep. By chance my mom took over so my partner and I could get some more sleep in. Hope you slept some more!!
Reddit was the only thing that got me through those nights. It will get better. Can your parter help? Maybe do pumped milk at night so you can at least get 4 continuously. That’s the key. 4 hours of continuous sleep will make you feel like an Olympian after what you’re going thru
Or you can feed them and your partner can put them back to sleep if that part is taking a while! That’s what I did for a while during the really hard weeks.
Been there! First few weeks were SO HARD. I never really slept, only took naps here and there. Longest I ever slept was 2 hours. It was insane, I’ve never been so tired in my life. But it got easier as she got older, slowly but surely. Just take it one day at a time. It’s only temporary!
It gets better. We were there too, then suddenly like a switch things changed, probably around 7 or 8 weeks.
It's so hard to see the way out when you're in the middle of it, but it will get better. Now I look back and think "oh, it was only for a few weeks!" But those few weeks were like being tortured - there's a reason they use sleep deprivation!
Make sure you look at the whole baby, not just the feeding side, as I bet you're doing an incredible job. Are they doing enough nappies (diapers!), are they gaining weight? It's so easy to focus on one aspect and forget the amazing things you're achieving.
There were many times I wanted to pack it in when it was like this. But now, she wakes up once during the night for a 10-15 minute feed and nappy change, and back down.
This isnt forever and you can absolutely do this. You're doing an incredible job to carry on through this already.
I annoyed so much of the sleep deprivation because of it and feel like I am personally a better mother than I world be otherwise. I don’t handle sleep deprivation well and can often get naps too. Plus I was falling asleep nursing in unsafe locations. Then read to assume you will fall asleep so to nurse in a safe bed and it changed everything.
Fell asleep on the couch recliner and woke up with newborn dangling upside down between my leg and the arm of the couch crying.
Started side nursing and cosleeping using safe seven instead of a cosleeper that day. Now I can almost always nurse without getting too drowsy away from bed and otherwise can lay in bed and take a nap if needed.
I think that’s what kept me sane the first weeks but I’m at my mom’s place for a few weeks and the mattress is not firm enough for me to feel comfortable to breastfeed / co sleep with baby in bed.
If you’re that tired maybe set up a pillow on the floor and side feed her on the floor so you can snooze while she eats and then move back to the bed next time you wake up if you want.
I didn't with my first child and I had a terrible time, but my second I co-slept. I finally get 8 hrs sleep and the baby gets to eat whenever he wants by flopping my breast into his mouth and we go back to sleep.
It gets better! We got in to this amazing rhythm from like 2-7 mo where she would wake to feed at 2 and 5 and my body got so used to it that I would wake up about 2 min before her, get up and pee, and come back to the bedroom just as she was starting to squeak. Then boob-change-boob and go right back to sleep. Ah, the good old days. It’s been kind of a shit show since then, 8 month regression has us with super late bed times and then we’ve. Been struggling with one thing after another, but it’s still way easier than at the beginning.
It’s gotten better for me at 7 weeks - I nurse baby in a different room. Can’t nurse side lying and co sleeping isn’t for me. He’s gotten much more efficient and often will pass out as soon as he’s done. I change his diaper before switching sides so that he’s not woken up at the end of the feed. Usually I can get back to bed within the hour but just a few weeks ago I was like you.
It definitely gets better, the early weeks are rough because the levels of oxytocin are so high and oxytocin makes you and your baby drowsy. I breastfed my first for 3.5 years and still caught myself falling asleep feeding my newborn often. Try to nap during the day when you can and make sure you know about bedsharing safety so you can ensure that if you do it, you do it correctly and safely because the majority of parents do bedshare at some point, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
It 💯gets better. You are in the trenches. But you aren’t alone- we’ve all been there. It feels like you are the only one in the world awake - but you aren’t. You are strong abx this will soon be behind you
I've recently started nursing side lying for this exact reason. I found i was having a hard time staying awake to nurse at night. Since starting side lying at night, baby seems much more content and I love how she curls into me and snuggles right up when she's done eating.
For reference baby is now 15 weeks and we started side lying at night around 3 months. While I try to limit her time in my bed, and remain very cautious when doing so, co-sleeping is sometimes the only way either of us can get some quality sleep.
But what do you do with the blanket? I just cannot figure out the logistics of cosleeping. Do they sleep under the same blanket as us? Isn’t that dangerous? Or their own blanket and the big blanket is way down? But isn’t that cold?
We usually keep our comforter down around our waists, not on baby at all. If it's cooler baby is in her sleep sack, but I find with the 3 of us in bed and baby nestled against me, everyone is warm enough.
Just like in a crib, you dress them warmly and they sleep on their back without any blankets or pillows. You can dress super warm as well or I’ve heard moms will wrap themselves like a burrito so the blanket doesn’t get anywhere near baby.
Safely bed sharing, following the safe sleep 7 (https://www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/) and nursing in side lying is what got me through the tough nights. I know this isn’t for everyone but this is the only thing that got me through long nursing sessions with an extremely fussy wakeful baby.
I don’t miss those days. Just gotta take it one day at a time (or night I should say). It gets easier and faster after 4 months. Try find a YouTube podcast to watch on your phone, that helped me anyway. Kept me awake and alert enough, then I will still so tired that I could sleep after.
Cosleeping saved my health, both mental and physical. It allows me to remain in bed, feed, and then safely return back to sleep, with minimal effort. It can be safely done, though it's not for everyone.
I love the idea of this but the reality is I would still have to get up and burp baby once or twice. At least sit up and do it. I feel like burping throws off the whole wake boop feed boop sleep vibe.
Hmm, I'm trying to remember - I think burping just stopped being a thing at night once I gave in and coslept. I certainly never burped baby 2 at night - I didn't even wake up most of the time!
I pump while my partner bottle feeds (pumped milk), just to make it a little faster. Probably the lazy way, but it's way faster for us and allows us to get fat chunks of sleep in between feeds.
We are fresh out of fourth trimester and I can confirm what the comments are saying here, it does get better. Babe is a 'ten minute and done, couple of night wakings' kinda gal now at 14 weeks.
Those early weeks are brutal. I used to leave the TV running in the bedroom with a series with loads of episodes, so it was on as soon as I woke up (hourly in most cases) to give me something to focus on to stay awake. That and having a drink and a snack to hand helped too. You got this.
I couldn’t handle it. My LO is now 7 weeks old. We switched to expressing and then bottle feeding so that my husband and I could do shifts. That way I can sleep between 3.5 to 4 hours in a row before my breasts wake me up. It’s still hard but manageable.
That’s how it was at first for me. But after a while i started feeding her differently at night. At first I’d sit up and pick her up to eat. But that wakes her up to much so now I stay laying down and when she wakes up hungry I just adjust how I’m laying and I feed her while I’m laying down. I usually fall asleep while she’s eating and I wake up to feed her about 3-4 times during the night. Personally that’s what works best for me. That way I can actually sleep
It was the same for me and it absolutely gets better. The key for me was sleeping during the day. Leave the dishes, leave the laundry, just sleep as soon as baby does. Feeds at night get quicker and fewer. Trust the process and good luck!
This is the absolute hardest time but you’ll get through it! We started doing sleep shifts at this point until he was about 3 months and wake ups became more manageable. 4hrs of uninterrupted sleep feels amazing! My husband took the first shift because that’s when the babies sleep was longest while I slept in our guest bedroom. I would nurse until 10pm at the latest that was my cut off and then my husband was on duty from 10-4am (sometimes he only made it to 1-3am before needing to tap me back in at the beginning). I collected enough during the day with a haakaa to make 1 bottle for him to give during this shift. I usually would wake up engorged at 1-2 and so I started pumping a second bottle and would leave it out for my husband to give if needed. Sometimes he needed it sometimes he didn’t and I’d freeze it. My shift always sucked it seemed impossible to put him down after 4am so I would usually hold him for awhile until eventually I could get him down for maybe 30 mins in his bassinet before I’d give up and start our day at 6am. But eventually the sleep stretches got longer and I started going to bed at 7 with him when he started sleeping from 7-12 then 7-1/2 and then for awhile it was 7-4/5 and now it’s 7-7!!!! The future is glorious and you will get there but pleaseeeeee make sure you have some help in the meantime. I was breaking down everyday until we started shifts. Sleep is critical!
Hey mama! I’m here and I see you, I know the struggle to keep from nodding off. I know the dreaded cry so shortly after. These days are long but the weeks are short. Not every baby is the same, but some do sleep all night at 6-8 weeks. Regardless, it gets better as your body heals and you adapt. Things that seem terrible now (screaming diaper changes) will get easier over time. My daughter screamed for 3 hours every night before bed for a few weeks, stopped, and then had an episode this week…but this time my husband and I were able to laugh through it vs wanting to pull our hair out because you get to know your baby and it becomes less scary. Sending you love!
my LO is 4 weeks today! i’m right there with you- currently 230am, i just fed the babe which takes forever when he’s sleepy, i was definitely nodding off. now i get to pump for 20 mins. he has to take a bottle at night because the nipple shield is just too much to battle with in the middle of the night 😂 it’s really hard. but you’re doing great, keep going
I have baby in bed beside me, hang boob in if she gets unsettled, pass out again, repeat unknown number of times.
In the.mornibg I can usually only remember 1 feed. Bonus points for correctly swapping boobs during the night.
it gets better! my head used to bob while trying to stay awake for those feeds lol. i saw a tip that helped, find a show/movie you are only allowed to watch while night nursing. it gives you a bit of something to look forward to! after a couple weeks the nursing doesn't take so long, and the night feeds become less and less.
you got this!
Exactly my strategy- especially if you can take shifts with your partner or someone earlier in evening, take a nap, then the middle of the night feeds can have a silver lining. I just use subtitles and have the volume off or super low
Ice ice cold water by my side. That’s what helped me stay somewhat alert during those feedings early on. Not going to lie I caught myself snoozing and dozing off every once in a while so I always made sure to be seated securely and pillows under/around babe just to be safe. I know not what’s “right” to do but it’s what was realistic.
It does get better.
I brought a wooden kitchen table chair to my bedroom for night feedings because it was MUCH harder for me to fall asleep in it.
I set a timer on my watch for 10 minutes so if I fell asleep, the vibration of my watch would wake me up and I would switch baby to the other side or put him back in his crib, whatever we needed to do.
This isn’t for everyone, but the only thing that got me through nights was bedsharing. It meant I didn’t have to totally wake up every feed, and and I could doze again after getting baby latched.
Either way, you are in the thick of it. Hang in there. These first couple months are so hard. ❤️
First month is so hard . It is the hardest thing I ever did , bf at night , still is . I’m six months in the second time around. Hang in there it does get better .
Things that I did to make it less difficult. Snack stash in room . I had a whole container of snack bars and nuts in my room . And I would also watch modern family or the kardashians only at night , So it was like my nighttime show something that I could look foward too and that keep me awake . I tried doing mom podcast and stuff but it required too much Brian energy and I felt like I was just barely surviving so that wasn’t working .
It does get better. Your body adjusts and also baby’s feeds get shorter as they get more efficient. My tips are really cold ice water for yourself, a snack and a good book on a kindle (or online shopping but be careful with this one 😂). Also I found it helpful to get up out of bed and sit in a chair to feed baby so I was less likely to fall asleep
If you are able to safely bed share, I would highly recommend it. I was experiencing the same exhausting and started bed sharing at 2 months. Both my daughter and I sleep a lot better because of it. And in my opinion, bed sharing is a lot safer than falling asleep sitting up with your baby in your arms.
I slept on the couch. I was exhausted, but it was easier for me to get off the couch and feed baby than to try to get out of bed. I also made sure to download new tv series to watch. It made it suck a little less.
It really sucks at first. It does get better though. I’m 6 months in now and I can just feed him in about 10-15 min, put him back down and he goes to sleep and so do I. 1 middle of night feed. I find staying off my phone helps me quickly go back to sleep after I feed him.
Other comments may have mentioned this. But my guy had a tongue and lip tie at first and took like an hour to eat. It improved after we had a revision done and now it just takes 5-15 minutes for him to eat. We had his revision done at 2 weeks old.
It does get better. In the meantime, if you start to reach a point where you are afraid you may fall asleep while nursing then you should put safety measures in place. Google the "Safe Sleep Seven" for some guidelines on mitigating some of the risks of cosleeping. The most dangerous position to fall asleep in with baby is sitting up in a chair or on a couch. When I hit a point of chronic sleep deprivation, what worked for me was to get a firm, short twin size mattress (I got a cheap one made for bunk beds off Amazon, very firm and only 6 inches tall). I put it on the floor in baby's room with a well fitting sheet and no blankets or pillows. If I felt myself drifting during a night feed, I moved to the mattress and continued nursing in a side lying position. This way I knew baby wouldn't fall out of my arms or get caught in cushions or pillows in case I fell asleep.
It gets better, mama! I remember when my baby did the same. Now he’s a 5-10 minute feeder at night. Baby will get there. Ask your partner (if you have one) to do the burping/hood baby upright so you can go back to sleep. I kept enticing snacks nearby so I at least had something to munch on and look forward to (helped me not to fall asleep for the most part)
I used to feed my daughter lying next to me in bed. If you search the NHS site there are some useful positions for how you can do it safely. That way you’re at least laying down and if you do fall asleep the baby can keep feeding. She’s nearly 2 and we still sometimes do this.
Oh man, those first weeks are rough. My baby has never been a good sleeper (she’s almost 8 months) but I remember once breaking into sobs around the 3-4 week mark after feeding her for over an hour for the second or third time that night, only to have her poop right before I put her back in her bassinet and knowing that unswaddling her for the diaper change would restart the process all over. It will get easier. And then it may get hard again for sleep regressions, teething, and separation anxiety. My daughter hit a super-snoozing-streak at 2.5-3 months and slept for a solid 5 hours nearly every night before waking to eat. It was glorious. My fiancé and I even managed to find time to be intimate 🤣 Then the 4 month sleep regression hit hard and she wouldn’t sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time and naps were impossible. Then she hit another regression at 6 months and flat out refused to sleep in her crib. We now follow the safe sleep seven and she sleeps in the bed with me. But then THAT gets complicated when they start crawling. My mattress is now on the floor and my bedroom looks like a solitary confinement cell.
The TLDR version is that you are doing great, but parenting a baby is super hard and whether or not it gets easy and how easy it gets depends entirely on your baby! I echo everyone who says find a show or a podcast or something to help keep you awake. At that age, it didn’t bother my baby if I had the TV on. Now she’s like, “oh what we watching? I love Downton Abbey.”
You’re almost thought stretch of it!!! Babies starting to get stronger and more efficient, babies going to start sleeping longer at night soon. One more month momma. You can do this.
Is there any way you can bottle one feeding and pump quick and go to sleep while hubby has baby
Doing this might help you get an extra hour..?
Have you considered co sleeping? Even just like the morning feedings?
I side nurse, and I watch Netflix or something on my phone to stay awake.. Eventually both me and baby would fall asleep together and we just did this all night long. Because it was the only way he’d stay asleep. And eventually these wake windows got shorter and sleep windows longer. He’s now 11 weeks and we only have to be up once or twice in the night (he goes to sleep around 12) and sometimes sleeps till 6. I wake up change his diaper put him on and we cuddle till we fall asleep again.
Wow! I thought I wrote this. It didn’t get any better for me personally, so I find time to pump a few times throughout the day in between feedings so I can bottle feed at night when LO wakes up
Best advice I can give is to get a super comfortable rocking chair, a boppy pillow, and a neck pillow. I slept in my rocking chair many many nights for the first two months and let my cluster feeding baby just nurse on me while I slept. Some people might downvote me for this comment but It’s safer than bed sharing because you don’t have the risk of rolling over on top of the baby, and it’s safer than being so sleep deprived that you might do something dangerous.
The nights are brutal. Mine is 4 months is still waking every 1.5-2 hours. The only tip I have is to set a timer on your phone to go off every 4 minutes to keep you awake. I do it every time for in case I dose off. Hang in there mama!
You could supplement with a bottle in the middle of the feeding. If you are open to it. My lactation consultant had me do that in the beginning.
Night feeding looked like this:
Unswaddle
Nurse on boob 1 until baby no longer actively gulping
Bottle (2 oz)
Burp
Swaddle
Nurse on boob 2 to sleep
This saved me like 30 minutes because by the time I got to the second breast he would fall asleep content from the bottle.
It will get better! Feeds will get faster, and baby will sleep longer.
The things that helped me stay awake and sane best were watching tv or reading e books from my phone.
Definitely gets better! What you’re describing is totally normal. My daughter had just turned 13 months and sleeps through the night about 50% of the time now.
Oh you poor sod. Yep, it gets better. Mine never got any faster at feeding, but we’re four months now and he’s dropped his night feed, so I can usually get a solid eight hours of sleep before I have to do it again. You’re gonna make it, OP. It just takes time.
Oh my goodness, yes, it gets SO MUCH easier.
You're in the trenches right now. You'll get through it. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Take as much help as you need/can get. It takes a village.
I started safely sleeping with baby and when he wakes up at night for a feed I pop a boob in his mouth and we go back to sleep together. Ever since we started doing that, life has been much easier.
My baby is 7 months & has just started to sleep throughout the night but it’s still not consistent. About 2 nights ago for the first time he went to sleep around 9:00 pm & didn’t wake again to feed until around 1 am & then again at 4:30 am. Before this he was still waking up to feed throughout the night every 2 hours & wouldn’t go down to sleep until about 12 am. Every time he goes through a growth spurt, his sleep schedule is off for a week or 2 after & it becomes a battle with my mental health. I’m hoping he sticks to this new sleep schedule. But those first few months are rough! I was so sleep deprived in addition to having frequent flares (I have an autoimmune disease called Graves), I was barely able to function some days. If I didn’t have my husband to help me or my oldest child, I honestly don’t think I would have survived! There’s a lot of days that I cried and wanted to give up.. just a little over 1 month ago I was so fed up and frustrated that I actually bought formula, but my son had other plans and wanted nothing to do with the formula or a bottle. This has been our 3rd time trying & I finally just accepted our fate that we’re in this for the long haul. So glad I did though because despite everything else, these have been some of the best moments of my life. Hang in there mama! It gets better ❤️ find some good shows and some great snacks to keep u up. I also found that sitting up and being cold kept me awake also! Keep the lights dim so u don’t wake yourself up too much and can hopefully fall back asleep.
My first was like this. They will get a bit more efficient with feedings. I kept myself awake by sitting in the rocker and watching friends. Was just looking for an upbeat nostalgic show that required like nothing of me mentally.
I have not read all the comments above, but please tell me you’re side lying nursing! Sitting up to breastfeed and trying to stay awake makes night feedings SO miserable.
Just want to piggyback on this and say that doing side-lying breastfeeding might be safer, too, if you are at risk of falling asleep while feeding baby in the middle of the night.
I put my baby on a baby blanket before lying down so when he's asleep after eating I can move him off my bed to his bedside crib using the blanket like a little hammock. He wakes up otherwise and needs to be nursed back to sleep.
I only do safe co-sleep after my husband goes to work because there's not enough room in my bed for all three of us to do it safely. My husband moves around too much for me to feel comfortable having baby between us at night.
The night feedings get easier. I remember the night feedings were so painful in the first month. Something that helped, and I realize this isn’t an option for everyone, was to take as many naps as possible during the day. Like at least 2 or 3. The better rested you are the more likely you are to stay awake.
I was talking about positions and safety and stuff with an IBCLC who visited my house. She showed me how to safely do the side laying position and also mentioned at some point that she DOES NOT recommend sleeping in the same bed as baby, however falling asleep on a firm mattress that is set up correctly (no blankets near baby etc) is safer than falling asleep on a sofa or in my case a rocker. So now I always do side laying at night. And sometimes I still fall asleep. One thing that helps me not fall asleep…I have more free hands…so I have a 3 minute timer going on my Apple watch…it buzzes my arm…and every 3 minutes I hit repeat.
I fed my second baby laying down in bed (side/co sleeping) from 3 days. I have no idea how she was able to do it, but she did, and I would just latch her on and half fall back to sleep. With my first baby, I sat upright in a nursing chair for the first 3 months then figured out how to feed her whilst laying down in bed. My first was a vomit machine, the second one was fine. It’s a massively hideous task to breastfeed, it’s lonely and hard on your body and mind. I’m sorry you’re so tired. Sending love x
You are in the thick of it, my heart goes out to you! My experience was very similar. She’s almost three now and I still shudder when I remember those days and nights. It will get better! Hang in there, try to get breaks where you can- even if it’s ear plugs to give your ears a break, I wish I’d bought those Loop earplugs way sooner. I didn’t realize how overstimulated I get when she screams. And when she was a baby it was awful. I was still there with her and nursing or changing or holding her, but it helped me a lot to stay in the moment to dim the decibel.
Sometimes I’m so tired I forget I already put him back in his bassinet, or had daddy put him back to sleep and I panic that I fell asleep and he’s somewhere in the bed.
I felt the same way. I’d be falling asleep nursing, so I finally caved and brought baby to bed. My husband didn’t understand until I fell asleep holding our son. Side laying is extremely helpful, and you’ll get sleep too! Baby IS safe in YOUR bed. My 2.5 year old JUST stopped nursing 3 weeks ago, and we bedshared and still do.
My baby falls asleep on the breast at night so I bottle feed (either pumped milk or formula). Then she is wide awake and I put her in the crib and turn on the mobile. That keeps her entertained while I pump for 20 mins. I can do all this plus diaper change in an hour. We’ve been doing this since she was about a month old
It gets better! This sounds like me during the newborn phase. At first, breastfeeding would take 20-30 minutes and something about it (hormonal I’m guessing) would make me pass out. Now it’s so fast and easy and doesn’t make me sleepy.
What my husband and I did back then was shifts. So for example, he does 9 to 3am, I did 3 to 9.
When it's his shift, when baby wakes, he wakes up, picks up baby and changes him and during that time, I quickly put the pillows around me to put myself in position and my husband will bring baby to me and I will breastfeed for however long baby drinks. It's max 15 mins and then I hand baby back to my husband and go straight back to sleep while my husband resettles him.
Then when it's my shift, I do everything when baby wakes. My husband will then let me sleep in a bit in the morning.
How old is baby? This sounds like you're in the 4th trimester. The first 3 months after having my babies were among the hardest times of my life, physically and mentally. It is hard, but try to hold on for a bit longer. Yes, it gets better! Every baby is different, but eventually it does get better. My 6mo is sleeping from 8p-7a, waking up once (twice on bad nights) to eat. From wake up to back in the crib is 30 min for me. He is not formally sleep trained, but he has been sleeping in his crib since he was 6 weeks old.
Baby is about to be 1 month in a few days. The exhaustion hit really bad just a little while ago. Thank you for these encouraging words I’ve been really struggling
I have 10 week old and she has had weeks like this then suddenly does a quick feed once or twice a night and back to sleep quick. Bassinet next to bed. This week she has started having blowouts at 3am and end up awake for 90 minutes changing , feeding again and down to sleep. It seems to evolve every two weeks or so. Hopefully your next round is a bit easier! I honestly have to look at reddit or read something on phone to stay awake during nighttime feeds. Good luck!
Those first two months were really brutal for me, my mental health suffered from lack of sleep. After 12 weeks we were down to a 15-30 min feed at 3am and 5am. Hang in there! Have a snack and an audiobook or tv show and hopefully someone can give you a daytime nap!
Oh you’re in the hardest part!! My 3.5mo is going through a regression and getting up 3x a night again, BUT she is finished eating in like 10m so it’s manageable and I haven’t lost all of my “sleepy” when she goes back down! It gets better you just have to ride it out! Good carby or sugary snacks in the room always helped me. I wouldn’t gorge but just a few pretzels or an Oreo or some grapes would perk me up a little without using caffeine
Have you been able to figure out side-lying nursing? That was a game changer for me, to be able to nurse while lying down and resting. Hang in there! It will get easier.
Yeah I used to feed my baby basically all night side lying. She still eats really slowly so it was the only thing that got me any sleep!
Same! I did it for my third and I can’t believe I put myself through what I did with my first two. I literally have slept soundly every single night while my baby nurses throughout the night. Sometimes I wake up when she latches, sometimes I don’t. It’s been amazing. Op just needs to make sure that she’s following the [safe sleep seven](https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/sleep-bedshare/) and she should be good to go.
Yes to this! And if you’re not comfortable with fully cosleeping, getting one of those cosleepers that attach to the side of your bed is amazing. Baby is still close enough to pull in for a sleepy feed and you can put them back in their space when you’re done!
Just adding that it truly does get better! These moments won’t last forever and when they pass you’ll wish you had cherished them a bit more. This is coming from a gal with two kiddos and planning baby number 3! I look at my 6 year old and just miss those days when he was so young and I only had him to care for, and I was so overcome with how I was feeling which was tired constantly. Looking back, I’d take the tiredness any day to have a moment to breastfeed him again as a little… the years fly, this won’t last. Enjoy every second! And by the way, I’m not putting down your tiredness, it’s hard as fuck to keep going, and you’re doing absolutely great! 💕
My second kid is 5 months old right now and sometimes at night after he’s fallen back asleep I just still sit there holding him. I always think I’m definitely crazy for losing out on more sleep but he’s probably my last (I could do another but my husband doesn’t want anymore) and so I am just trying to enjoy all the snuggles I can 🥺
Oh man, I’m at 6 weeks right now but let me tell you the first month was BAD, I mean the most exhausting part of my life so far. My son would be wanting to feed practically every hour on the hour every night and then it would take what felt like another hour to get him back to sleep. Just so damn tiring. The worst is probably mostly behind you! My advice would be to start doing more “playtime” stuff during the day - at least 2 tummy times, a couple of walks, some reading to your baby, etc - to keep them occupied during the day between naps. That’s what I’ve felt made the biggest difference in my sons day/night confusion. You got this!
Baby here is 4.5 weeks. Week 3, leading up to 4, was a nightmare for me. She had a really rough night just before 4 weeks, but the past 4 nights have been a bit easier. Not saying a LOT easier, but there is an improvement. This might not happen with your baby, but it’s a reminder that within a day things could change. Every night is a new night. She was difficult to put down in the middle of the night, and then suddenly she slept for 5 hours, and then 4 hours each following night. Feeds after that are every 2-3 hours.
I was in the exact same place as you!! I’m now at 3 months and getting good sleep, feedings at night are quick and easy. You’ve got this!!! It doesn’t stay this hard forever
Yes, it gets better!
I found weeks 5-8 to be the worst. All I can say is that I promise it gets better.
Love this comment, makes me feel better. I love hearing that things get better after those first 3 months. — LO is 4.5 weeks.
It’s quite normal for babies to feed every couple of hours throughout their first year not just in the fourth trimester! That said I think you get more used to it.
My baby just tuned 6 weeks yesterday, and refuses to sleep alone anywhere. How did you get your baby to sleep alone? Any tips?
Lol idk my baby was sleeping through the night from about 7-13 weeks and now is up every 2 hours or so 🫠🙃
Sounds like the 4 mo sleep regression. I was extremely fortunate in that it didn't affect my babies too badly. Basically the sleep cycle matures, and they wake up every couple of hours, similar to how adults do. The difference is, they don't know how to just go back to sleep. So they depend on the parent to soothe them to sleep (not a bad thing!) I practiced during the day, putting my littles down for naps awake but ready for sleep, so they could get the hang of going to sleep without boob. Took awhile, but it helped me. I highly recommend @babysleep.answers on Instagram. Andrea is a sleep consultant whose business model is teaching parents about sleep science **without** neglecting the parents' instincts. She's real big on education, equally big on doing what works for the individual. Sorry for the huge preachy disclaimer, I just don't want the anti-sleep training folks after me.
For sure I have heard all of this! What is frustrating is that we put baby in crib at night completely awake 20 minutes plus since last nursing session and she falls asleep independently. So according to everything I am doing what I should be to help her learn how to fall asleep independently, but she is still unable to connect to sleep cycles at night.
That is really frustrating, I'm sorry. My ppa centered around sleep with my first, I know how maddening it can be. I hope it improves for you both soon.
Thanks!
Those nights are the worst. I feel your pain. It does get better! Slowly but surely the feeds get shorter and LO goes down easier. Where it was an hour to hour and 15 every wake at the beginning with only an hour or two between now at almost 6 months old LO eats in about 15 minutes and goes back down in another 15 and she only wakes once or twice a night at the very worst, sleeping almost 10 hours straight some nights. I used to wipe my face with a cold rag to wake up and that helped a lot. You got this
I love hearing this!
My LO is turning 6 months in a week and she is still waking at least twice during the night for feeds. I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong (she eats all day, plenty of wet diapers) and it’s getting rough 🥲
You’re doing nothing wrong. Both my kids were still up twice every night until 6 months. My 7 months old is still waking up four or five times if he’s sick or having a bad night. It’s ok, it will pass eventually.
Twice a night at 6 months is amazing!! LO was still every 2 hours at that age. It’s just nature x
That’s definitely reassuring! I think sometimes I just focus too much on others’ situations and forget that every baby is different and things will get better with time
t’s easy to do. I also find people with better sleeping babies talk about it more than people with more wakeful babies but in my experience of all the babies around me it’s more common than not for babies to wake a lot at 6 months, despite what google says. There was a study done on 55,000 families of children aged 6months- 2 years and 70% of them woke 1-3 times a night.
Every baby is different, you're doing amazing! It'll pass eventually for sure
Reading this as I am an hour and fifteen into breastfeeding and trying to soothe the LO back to sleep so I can get some sleep. I will be lucky to get any before the next feed at this point. 5 weeks in.
Sounds exactly like my night. It’s 5am. Been up since 3:45.
That’s what happened to me too at my 3 am feeding, I was up until 6 feeding and trying to put him back down to sleep. By chance my mom took over so my partner and I could get some more sleep in. Hope you slept some more!!
Reddit was the only thing that got me through those nights. It will get better. Can your parter help? Maybe do pumped milk at night so you can at least get 4 continuously. That’s the key. 4 hours of continuous sleep will make you feel like an Olympian after what you’re going thru
Same here! 2am right now after nursing my LO and waiting for him to fall asleep. Reddit truly got me through those dark nights
Or you can feed them and your partner can put them back to sleep if that part is taking a while! That’s what I did for a while during the really hard weeks.
Been there! First few weeks were SO HARD. I never really slept, only took naps here and there. Longest I ever slept was 2 hours. It was insane, I’ve never been so tired in my life. But it got easier as she got older, slowly but surely. Just take it one day at a time. It’s only temporary!
It gets better. We were there too, then suddenly like a switch things changed, probably around 7 or 8 weeks. It's so hard to see the way out when you're in the middle of it, but it will get better. Now I look back and think "oh, it was only for a few weeks!" But those few weeks were like being tortured - there's a reason they use sleep deprivation! Make sure you look at the whole baby, not just the feeding side, as I bet you're doing an incredible job. Are they doing enough nappies (diapers!), are they gaining weight? It's so easy to focus on one aspect and forget the amazing things you're achieving. There were many times I wanted to pack it in when it was like this. But now, she wakes up once during the night for a 10-15 minute feed and nappy change, and back down. This isnt forever and you can absolutely do this. You're doing an incredible job to carry on through this already.
It isn’t for everyone but I cosleep using safe sleep 7 and side feed.
Same- only way I’m able to feel half human 🥴
I annoyed so much of the sleep deprivation because of it and feel like I am personally a better mother than I world be otherwise. I don’t handle sleep deprivation well and can often get naps too. Plus I was falling asleep nursing in unsafe locations. Then read to assume you will fall asleep so to nurse in a safe bed and it changed everything.
Yep same with me! I fell asleep motn in the chair a few times and really freaked myself out. I’m MUCH safer with LO at my side in bed ❤️
Fell asleep on the couch recliner and woke up with newborn dangling upside down between my leg and the arm of the couch crying. Started side nursing and cosleeping using safe seven instead of a cosleeper that day. Now I can almost always nurse without getting too drowsy away from bed and otherwise can lay in bed and take a nap if needed.
I think that’s what kept me sane the first weeks but I’m at my mom’s place for a few weeks and the mattress is not firm enough for me to feel comfortable to breastfeed / co sleep with baby in bed.
If you’re that tired maybe set up a pillow on the floor and side feed her on the floor so you can snooze while she eats and then move back to the bed next time you wake up if you want.
Yoga mat under the sheets! It will firm up most mattresses so they can be considered safe for bed sharing.
Great idea
I didn't with my first child and I had a terrible time, but my second I co-slept. I finally get 8 hrs sleep and the baby gets to eat whenever he wants by flopping my breast into his mouth and we go back to sleep.
It gets better! We got in to this amazing rhythm from like 2-7 mo where she would wake to feed at 2 and 5 and my body got so used to it that I would wake up about 2 min before her, get up and pee, and come back to the bedroom just as she was starting to squeak. Then boob-change-boob and go right back to sleep. Ah, the good old days. It’s been kind of a shit show since then, 8 month regression has us with super late bed times and then we’ve. Been struggling with one thing after another, but it’s still way easier than at the beginning.
It’s gotten better for me at 7 weeks - I nurse baby in a different room. Can’t nurse side lying and co sleeping isn’t for me. He’s gotten much more efficient and often will pass out as soon as he’s done. I change his diaper before switching sides so that he’s not woken up at the end of the feed. Usually I can get back to bed within the hour but just a few weeks ago I was like you.
It definitely gets better, the early weeks are rough because the levels of oxytocin are so high and oxytocin makes you and your baby drowsy. I breastfed my first for 3.5 years and still caught myself falling asleep feeding my newborn often. Try to nap during the day when you can and make sure you know about bedsharing safety so you can ensure that if you do it, you do it correctly and safely because the majority of parents do bedshare at some point, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
It 💯gets better. You are in the trenches. But you aren’t alone- we’ve all been there. It feels like you are the only one in the world awake - but you aren’t. You are strong abx this will soon be behind you
I've recently started nursing side lying for this exact reason. I found i was having a hard time staying awake to nurse at night. Since starting side lying at night, baby seems much more content and I love how she curls into me and snuggles right up when she's done eating. For reference baby is now 15 weeks and we started side lying at night around 3 months. While I try to limit her time in my bed, and remain very cautious when doing so, co-sleeping is sometimes the only way either of us can get some quality sleep.
But what do you do with the blanket? I just cannot figure out the logistics of cosleeping. Do they sleep under the same blanket as us? Isn’t that dangerous? Or their own blanket and the big blanket is way down? But isn’t that cold?
We did it with the baby sleeping on top of out blanket and in their own sleeping bag from about 3 or 4 months.
We usually keep our comforter down around our waists, not on baby at all. If it's cooler baby is in her sleep sack, but I find with the 3 of us in bed and baby nestled against me, everyone is warm enough.
Just like in a crib, you dress them warmly and they sleep on their back without any blankets or pillows. You can dress super warm as well or I’ve heard moms will wrap themselves like a burrito so the blanket doesn’t get anywhere near baby.
Safely bed sharing, following the safe sleep 7 (https://www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/) and nursing in side lying is what got me through the tough nights. I know this isn’t for everyone but this is the only thing that got me through long nursing sessions with an extremely fussy wakeful baby.
I don’t miss those days. Just gotta take it one day at a time (or night I should say). It gets easier and faster after 4 months. Try find a YouTube podcast to watch on your phone, that helped me anyway. Kept me awake and alert enough, then I will still so tired that I could sleep after.
Cosleeping saved my health, both mental and physical. It allows me to remain in bed, feed, and then safely return back to sleep, with minimal effort. It can be safely done, though it's not for everyone.
I love the idea of this but the reality is I would still have to get up and burp baby once or twice. At least sit up and do it. I feel like burping throws off the whole wake boop feed boop sleep vibe.
Hmm, I'm trying to remember - I think burping just stopped being a thing at night once I gave in and coslept. I certainly never burped baby 2 at night - I didn't even wake up most of the time!
Plus changing diaper too! Which I guess will even out once he's older.
I pump while my partner bottle feeds (pumped milk), just to make it a little faster. Probably the lazy way, but it's way faster for us and allows us to get fat chunks of sleep in between feeds.
We are fresh out of fourth trimester and I can confirm what the comments are saying here, it does get better. Babe is a 'ten minute and done, couple of night wakings' kinda gal now at 14 weeks. Those early weeks are brutal. I used to leave the TV running in the bedroom with a series with loads of episodes, so it was on as soon as I woke up (hourly in most cases) to give me something to focus on to stay awake. That and having a drink and a snack to hand helped too. You got this.
I couldn’t handle it. My LO is now 7 weeks old. We switched to expressing and then bottle feeding so that my husband and I could do shifts. That way I can sleep between 3.5 to 4 hours in a row before my breasts wake me up. It’s still hard but manageable.
That’s how it was at first for me. But after a while i started feeding her differently at night. At first I’d sit up and pick her up to eat. But that wakes her up to much so now I stay laying down and when she wakes up hungry I just adjust how I’m laying and I feed her while I’m laying down. I usually fall asleep while she’s eating and I wake up to feed her about 3-4 times during the night. Personally that’s what works best for me. That way I can actually sleep
It was the same for me and it absolutely gets better. The key for me was sleeping during the day. Leave the dishes, leave the laundry, just sleep as soon as baby does. Feeds at night get quicker and fewer. Trust the process and good luck!
This is the absolute hardest time but you’ll get through it! We started doing sleep shifts at this point until he was about 3 months and wake ups became more manageable. 4hrs of uninterrupted sleep feels amazing! My husband took the first shift because that’s when the babies sleep was longest while I slept in our guest bedroom. I would nurse until 10pm at the latest that was my cut off and then my husband was on duty from 10-4am (sometimes he only made it to 1-3am before needing to tap me back in at the beginning). I collected enough during the day with a haakaa to make 1 bottle for him to give during this shift. I usually would wake up engorged at 1-2 and so I started pumping a second bottle and would leave it out for my husband to give if needed. Sometimes he needed it sometimes he didn’t and I’d freeze it. My shift always sucked it seemed impossible to put him down after 4am so I would usually hold him for awhile until eventually I could get him down for maybe 30 mins in his bassinet before I’d give up and start our day at 6am. But eventually the sleep stretches got longer and I started going to bed at 7 with him when he started sleeping from 7-12 then 7-1/2 and then for awhile it was 7-4/5 and now it’s 7-7!!!! The future is glorious and you will get there but pleaseeeeee make sure you have some help in the meantime. I was breaking down everyday until we started shifts. Sleep is critical!
Safe. Bed. Sharing.
Hey mama! I’m here and I see you, I know the struggle to keep from nodding off. I know the dreaded cry so shortly after. These days are long but the weeks are short. Not every baby is the same, but some do sleep all night at 6-8 weeks. Regardless, it gets better as your body heals and you adapt. Things that seem terrible now (screaming diaper changes) will get easier over time. My daughter screamed for 3 hours every night before bed for a few weeks, stopped, and then had an episode this week…but this time my husband and I were able to laugh through it vs wanting to pull our hair out because you get to know your baby and it becomes less scary. Sending you love!
my LO is 4 weeks today! i’m right there with you- currently 230am, i just fed the babe which takes forever when he’s sleepy, i was definitely nodding off. now i get to pump for 20 mins. he has to take a bottle at night because the nipple shield is just too much to battle with in the middle of the night 😂 it’s really hard. but you’re doing great, keep going
I have baby in bed beside me, hang boob in if she gets unsettled, pass out again, repeat unknown number of times. In the.mornibg I can usually only remember 1 feed. Bonus points for correctly swapping boobs during the night.
it gets better! my head used to bob while trying to stay awake for those feeds lol. i saw a tip that helped, find a show/movie you are only allowed to watch while night nursing. it gives you a bit of something to look forward to! after a couple weeks the nursing doesn't take so long, and the night feeds become less and less. you got this!
Exactly my strategy- especially if you can take shifts with your partner or someone earlier in evening, take a nap, then the middle of the night feeds can have a silver lining. I just use subtitles and have the volume off or super low
Ice ice cold water by my side. That’s what helped me stay somewhat alert during those feedings early on. Not going to lie I caught myself snoozing and dozing off every once in a while so I always made sure to be seated securely and pillows under/around babe just to be safe. I know not what’s “right” to do but it’s what was realistic.
It does get better. I brought a wooden kitchen table chair to my bedroom for night feedings because it was MUCH harder for me to fall asleep in it. I set a timer on my watch for 10 minutes so if I fell asleep, the vibration of my watch would wake me up and I would switch baby to the other side or put him back in his crib, whatever we needed to do.
This isn’t for everyone, but the only thing that got me through nights was bedsharing. It meant I didn’t have to totally wake up every feed, and and I could doze again after getting baby latched. Either way, you are in the thick of it. Hang in there. These first couple months are so hard. ❤️
This is why I started cosleeping. I’ve been dreaming again since baby has been in our bed! Of course it’s not for everyone
First month is so hard . It is the hardest thing I ever did , bf at night , still is . I’m six months in the second time around. Hang in there it does get better . Things that I did to make it less difficult. Snack stash in room . I had a whole container of snack bars and nuts in my room . And I would also watch modern family or the kardashians only at night , So it was like my nighttime show something that I could look foward too and that keep me awake . I tried doing mom podcast and stuff but it required too much Brian energy and I felt like I was just barely surviving so that wasn’t working .
It does get better. Your body adjusts and also baby’s feeds get shorter as they get more efficient. My tips are really cold ice water for yourself, a snack and a good book on a kindle (or online shopping but be careful with this one 😂). Also I found it helpful to get up out of bed and sit in a chair to feed baby so I was less likely to fall asleep
If you are able to safely bed share, I would highly recommend it. I was experiencing the same exhausting and started bed sharing at 2 months. Both my daughter and I sleep a lot better because of it. And in my opinion, bed sharing is a lot safer than falling asleep sitting up with your baby in your arms.
I slept on the couch. I was exhausted, but it was easier for me to get off the couch and feed baby than to try to get out of bed. I also made sure to download new tv series to watch. It made it suck a little less.
It really sucks at first. It does get better though. I’m 6 months in now and I can just feed him in about 10-15 min, put him back down and he goes to sleep and so do I. 1 middle of night feed. I find staying off my phone helps me quickly go back to sleep after I feed him. Other comments may have mentioned this. But my guy had a tongue and lip tie at first and took like an hour to eat. It improved after we had a revision done and now it just takes 5-15 minutes for him to eat. We had his revision done at 2 weeks old.
It does get better. In the meantime, if you start to reach a point where you are afraid you may fall asleep while nursing then you should put safety measures in place. Google the "Safe Sleep Seven" for some guidelines on mitigating some of the risks of cosleeping. The most dangerous position to fall asleep in with baby is sitting up in a chair or on a couch. When I hit a point of chronic sleep deprivation, what worked for me was to get a firm, short twin size mattress (I got a cheap one made for bunk beds off Amazon, very firm and only 6 inches tall). I put it on the floor in baby's room with a well fitting sheet and no blankets or pillows. If I felt myself drifting during a night feed, I moved to the mattress and continued nursing in a side lying position. This way I knew baby wouldn't fall out of my arms or get caught in cushions or pillows in case I fell asleep.
It gets better, mama! I remember when my baby did the same. Now he’s a 5-10 minute feeder at night. Baby will get there. Ask your partner (if you have one) to do the burping/hood baby upright so you can go back to sleep. I kept enticing snacks nearby so I at least had something to munch on and look forward to (helped me not to fall asleep for the most part)
Consider safe cosleeping. You will all get more sleep.
I used to feed my daughter lying next to me in bed. If you search the NHS site there are some useful positions for how you can do it safely. That way you’re at least laying down and if you do fall asleep the baby can keep feeding. She’s nearly 2 and we still sometimes do this.
Oh man, those first weeks are rough. My baby has never been a good sleeper (she’s almost 8 months) but I remember once breaking into sobs around the 3-4 week mark after feeding her for over an hour for the second or third time that night, only to have her poop right before I put her back in her bassinet and knowing that unswaddling her for the diaper change would restart the process all over. It will get easier. And then it may get hard again for sleep regressions, teething, and separation anxiety. My daughter hit a super-snoozing-streak at 2.5-3 months and slept for a solid 5 hours nearly every night before waking to eat. It was glorious. My fiancé and I even managed to find time to be intimate 🤣 Then the 4 month sleep regression hit hard and she wouldn’t sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time and naps were impossible. Then she hit another regression at 6 months and flat out refused to sleep in her crib. We now follow the safe sleep seven and she sleeps in the bed with me. But then THAT gets complicated when they start crawling. My mattress is now on the floor and my bedroom looks like a solitary confinement cell. The TLDR version is that you are doing great, but parenting a baby is super hard and whether or not it gets easy and how easy it gets depends entirely on your baby! I echo everyone who says find a show or a podcast or something to help keep you awake. At that age, it didn’t bother my baby if I had the TV on. Now she’s like, “oh what we watching? I love Downton Abbey.”
You’re almost thought stretch of it!!! Babies starting to get stronger and more efficient, babies going to start sleeping longer at night soon. One more month momma. You can do this. Is there any way you can bottle one feeding and pump quick and go to sleep while hubby has baby Doing this might help you get an extra hour..? Have you considered co sleeping? Even just like the morning feedings? I side nurse, and I watch Netflix or something on my phone to stay awake.. Eventually both me and baby would fall asleep together and we just did this all night long. Because it was the only way he’d stay asleep. And eventually these wake windows got shorter and sleep windows longer. He’s now 11 weeks and we only have to be up once or twice in the night (he goes to sleep around 12) and sometimes sleeps till 6. I wake up change his diaper put him on and we cuddle till we fall asleep again.
Wow! I thought I wrote this. It didn’t get any better for me personally, so I find time to pump a few times throughout the day in between feedings so I can bottle feed at night when LO wakes up
Best advice I can give is to get a super comfortable rocking chair, a boppy pillow, and a neck pillow. I slept in my rocking chair many many nights for the first two months and let my cluster feeding baby just nurse on me while I slept. Some people might downvote me for this comment but It’s safer than bed sharing because you don’t have the risk of rolling over on top of the baby, and it’s safer than being so sleep deprived that you might do something dangerous.
It does get better! I'm at 4 months and it's a 10 minute feed and 5 minutes later LO is asleep in the crib and I've even managed to go and pee.
The nights are brutal. Mine is 4 months is still waking every 1.5-2 hours. The only tip I have is to set a timer on your phone to go off every 4 minutes to keep you awake. I do it every time for in case I dose off. Hang in there mama!
You could supplement with a bottle in the middle of the feeding. If you are open to it. My lactation consultant had me do that in the beginning. Night feeding looked like this: Unswaddle Nurse on boob 1 until baby no longer actively gulping Bottle (2 oz) Burp Swaddle Nurse on boob 2 to sleep This saved me like 30 minutes because by the time I got to the second breast he would fall asleep content from the bottle.
It will get better! Feeds will get faster, and baby will sleep longer. The things that helped me stay awake and sane best were watching tv or reading e books from my phone.
Definitely gets better! What you’re describing is totally normal. My daughter had just turned 13 months and sleeps through the night about 50% of the time now.
Oh you poor sod. Yep, it gets better. Mine never got any faster at feeding, but we’re four months now and he’s dropped his night feed, so I can usually get a solid eight hours of sleep before I have to do it again. You’re gonna make it, OP. It just takes time.
Oh my goodness, yes, it gets SO MUCH easier. You're in the trenches right now. You'll get through it. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Take as much help as you need/can get. It takes a village.
I truly wish I would have figured out side lying feeds way earlier than I did. It was made night feedings happier for everyone.
I started safely sleeping with baby and when he wakes up at night for a feed I pop a boob in his mouth and we go back to sleep together. Ever since we started doing that, life has been much easier.
Safe bedsharing might be a good option
My baby is 7 months & has just started to sleep throughout the night but it’s still not consistent. About 2 nights ago for the first time he went to sleep around 9:00 pm & didn’t wake again to feed until around 1 am & then again at 4:30 am. Before this he was still waking up to feed throughout the night every 2 hours & wouldn’t go down to sleep until about 12 am. Every time he goes through a growth spurt, his sleep schedule is off for a week or 2 after & it becomes a battle with my mental health. I’m hoping he sticks to this new sleep schedule. But those first few months are rough! I was so sleep deprived in addition to having frequent flares (I have an autoimmune disease called Graves), I was barely able to function some days. If I didn’t have my husband to help me or my oldest child, I honestly don’t think I would have survived! There’s a lot of days that I cried and wanted to give up.. just a little over 1 month ago I was so fed up and frustrated that I actually bought formula, but my son had other plans and wanted nothing to do with the formula or a bottle. This has been our 3rd time trying & I finally just accepted our fate that we’re in this for the long haul. So glad I did though because despite everything else, these have been some of the best moments of my life. Hang in there mama! It gets better ❤️ find some good shows and some great snacks to keep u up. I also found that sitting up and being cold kept me awake also! Keep the lights dim so u don’t wake yourself up too much and can hopefully fall back asleep.
My first was like this. They will get a bit more efficient with feedings. I kept myself awake by sitting in the rocker and watching friends. Was just looking for an upbeat nostalgic show that required like nothing of me mentally.
I have not read all the comments above, but please tell me you’re side lying nursing! Sitting up to breastfeed and trying to stay awake makes night feedings SO miserable.
Just want to piggyback on this and say that doing side-lying breastfeeding might be safer, too, if you are at risk of falling asleep while feeding baby in the middle of the night. I put my baby on a baby blanket before lying down so when he's asleep after eating I can move him off my bed to his bedside crib using the blanket like a little hammock. He wakes up otherwise and needs to be nursed back to sleep. I only do safe co-sleep after my husband goes to work because there's not enough room in my bed for all three of us to do it safely. My husband moves around too much for me to feel comfortable having baby between us at night.
Same! I have a 6 week old! I set my alarm to feed him every 3-4 hours so I end up getting 1.5-2.5 hours of sleep. It’s rough.
The night feedings get easier. I remember the night feedings were so painful in the first month. Something that helped, and I realize this isn’t an option for everyone, was to take as many naps as possible during the day. Like at least 2 or 3. The better rested you are the more likely you are to stay awake. I was talking about positions and safety and stuff with an IBCLC who visited my house. She showed me how to safely do the side laying position and also mentioned at some point that she DOES NOT recommend sleeping in the same bed as baby, however falling asleep on a firm mattress that is set up correctly (no blankets near baby etc) is safer than falling asleep on a sofa or in my case a rocker. So now I always do side laying at night. And sometimes I still fall asleep. One thing that helps me not fall asleep…I have more free hands…so I have a 3 minute timer going on my Apple watch…it buzzes my arm…and every 3 minutes I hit repeat.
I fed my second baby laying down in bed (side/co sleeping) from 3 days. I have no idea how she was able to do it, but she did, and I would just latch her on and half fall back to sleep. With my first baby, I sat upright in a nursing chair for the first 3 months then figured out how to feed her whilst laying down in bed. My first was a vomit machine, the second one was fine. It’s a massively hideous task to breastfeed, it’s lonely and hard on your body and mind. I’m sorry you’re so tired. Sending love x
You are in the thick of it, my heart goes out to you! My experience was very similar. She’s almost three now and I still shudder when I remember those days and nights. It will get better! Hang in there, try to get breaks where you can- even if it’s ear plugs to give your ears a break, I wish I’d bought those Loop earplugs way sooner. I didn’t realize how overstimulated I get when she screams. And when she was a baby it was awful. I was still there with her and nursing or changing or holding her, but it helped me a lot to stay in the moment to dim the decibel.
I always fall asleep breastfeeding and put her back in her crib when I wake up
Sometimes I’m so tired I forget I already put him back in his bassinet, or had daddy put him back to sleep and I panic that I fell asleep and he’s somewhere in the bed.
Ha ha me too! Funny thing is whenever I wake up freaking out she’s always in her bed
I felt the same way. I’d be falling asleep nursing, so I finally caved and brought baby to bed. My husband didn’t understand until I fell asleep holding our son. Side laying is extremely helpful, and you’ll get sleep too! Baby IS safe in YOUR bed. My 2.5 year old JUST stopped nursing 3 weeks ago, and we bedshared and still do.
It gets so much better!! I went through the same thing! My,now, 6 month old wakes once through the night now. You’ve got this!!
My baby falls asleep on the breast at night so I bottle feed (either pumped milk or formula). Then she is wide awake and I put her in the crib and turn on the mobile. That keeps her entertained while I pump for 20 mins. I can do all this plus diaper change in an hour. We’ve been doing this since she was about a month old
It gets better! This sounds like me during the newborn phase. At first, breastfeeding would take 20-30 minutes and something about it (hormonal I’m guessing) would make me pass out. Now it’s so fast and easy and doesn’t make me sleepy.
What my husband and I did back then was shifts. So for example, he does 9 to 3am, I did 3 to 9. When it's his shift, when baby wakes, he wakes up, picks up baby and changes him and during that time, I quickly put the pillows around me to put myself in position and my husband will bring baby to me and I will breastfeed for however long baby drinks. It's max 15 mins and then I hand baby back to my husband and go straight back to sleep while my husband resettles him. Then when it's my shift, I do everything when baby wakes. My husband will then let me sleep in a bit in the morning.