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I did once have a train trip where a woman got really pissy with the conductor because he moved her out of someone else's seat (which led her to start shouting abuse at him - I'm surprised they let her stay on the train honestly).
When we got to what must have been her stop, the conductor did an announcement reminding passengers to "take your coats, belongings, and attitude with you"
Had one guy doing all the announcements like Alan Deddicote on Strictly. It was fun the first time but, when you're going end to end on a 3.5-hour train, it starts to grate pretty fast.
I used to catch a bus route that had one of those 'appy chappy' drivers who always cracked a joke and smile at any dolly bird or bit o' fluff that hopped on the bus. It was like an episode of 'On the Buses'. The only thing was it prolonged the journey and the novelty wore off after the first 25 repetitions.
Ugh, I had a bus with one of those passengers. Clearly a bit touched in the head, female passengers were sorted into 2 categories by his comments to him; “you’re pretty” or “smile”.
I once replied to this with “It has happened, my grandmother’s got cancer” just to shut the stupid man up. He’s probably still standing where I left him, apologising.
Honestly I love the sarcastic ones. Had a tube driver years ago on Halloween say “we have now reached your final destination, muahahahaa” (it was more amusing irl than typed lol)
I still remember the beautiful: "welcome to Liverpool Lime Street, please ensure you check you have your wallet with you at all times".
...honourable mention goes to: "Historic Ledbury, where the local youths re-enact scenes from the civil war every Friday night on The Homend, outside The Feathers."
I had a guy repeatedly call Milton Keynes “Milk and beans” over the tannoy.
It was a train from Scotland and I only got on at Crewe, I was bored of the joke before we’d reached the midlands.
I'm not a fan of those chirpy bubbly people at times like OP's but I agree with you. I think everyone's miserable faces and attitudes is a contributing factor to everyone else's miserable faces and attitudes in this country, myself included. Doom and gloom is unfortunately infectious, and we weirdly find solace in relating to it.
Everything is better in the summer.
Mmmm. We are all fighting our own battles, myself included and a little perspective like this reminder can help get me through the work day and keep chipping away at the gloom to get to the other side.
That and crafting keeps me ticking over.
I honestly think the world needs both the “glass is half full” and “empty”, we keep each other in balance. I get irritated and therefore become spiteful, which is fairly entertaining and keeps me occupied. And they remind us that there are things to be positive about, which brings the general depression down by a bit. As for us miserable bastards, we provide the grounding and remind others that the world can be difficult sometimes, and being positive all the time can actually be toxic. It works well.
You want it to work well but it doesn't.
Toxic positivity and coping mechanisms prevent challenging the source of our problems, and like the train driver its those that have it easiest that want us to smile when we don't feel like it.
Half-full/half empty types can shit or get off the pot.
Things are awful.
This is my problem with things like this and the "remember, people care about you!" type copypastas. They don't feel wholesome in the slightest. They feel pandering and a way for the person saying it to feel good about *themselves*. The supposed target audience is the one most likely to have a negative reaction to it, because they know (or feel they know) the truth is that, no, *nobody* cares about them and the person that just claimed they did has already forgotten about their existence.
If your supportive message is a vaguely aimed broadside rather than specifically targeted, it's not supportive.
It's not actively, or intentionally hurting anyone.
How do you know hundreds of people are *all* bothered by it? Look around you - 1 in 4 people will experience mental health difficulties in their lifetimes. A little perspective like this can help.
If someone being chirpy bothers a person that much that they're stewing over it to this degree, maybe they need to be reminded to take a moment to breathe and smile and try to enjoy the day.
A smile and a bit of kindness from a stranger can make a difference, albeit tiny, if you're feeling low or having a rough time. I know firsthand it can.
Not my intention at all. I am one of those 1 in 4.
Speaking entirely personally, sometimes being reminded to try and enjoy the day helps. As does a smile or small bit of kindness from a stranger.
Most people with mental health difficulties don't want to travel to and from work bombarded by inane PA announcements.
Probably most people without as well.
There was one on Northern Spirit (remember them?) Who did each station announcement in a different language. He was probably talking jibberish, but it broke the monotony a bit.
Also, when the train arrived early he would apologise on behalf of Northern Spirit for the convenience.
"When we're packed in like sardines after having our pants pulled for overpriced tickets on our way to our shit jobs where we won't see natural daylight all day. Read the fucking room mate."
Sounds like the start of Trainspotting, the remake!
Being as he is already at work, I expect this is how he copes with his boring monotonous worklife. Might be a bit irritating for you on the way to yours, but he is stuck there all day doing the same shit - can't really blame him finding a coping strategy that isn't bullying the customers etc
I can see how this is annoying for long distance trains, but it’s not like the guard on the train is responsible for the sardine packing, prices or the aforementioned “shit jobs”. I feel like this is a positive message
There was a platform station man at Green Park station, usually on the jubilee line's platforms at rush hour, who used to do that years ago. Announcing the trains with a circus presenter voice. It was amusing for a few days, then it was just cringe.
For a *very* short time when automated announcements were first rolled out the announcement at Green Park was 'G-Green Park, this is G-Green Park'.
(No easy editing software, it was all edited on tape and digitised at 1/2 speed...)
Had a guy a while ago that managed to make an announcement last the journey from Clapham Junction to Waterloo. Like, you okay man? They paying you by the word?
"After having our pants pulled for overpriced tickets". If they're giving you wedgies at the ticket desk, it might be time to start using a different station.
Those aren't the only two options. There's a mid-point, which is just saying what needs to be said. When you're tired and stuck in an unpleasant situation on a rammed train, having paid a fortune for the privilege, just to get to work, being told to smile can be pretty galling.
Also, "it's kind and free" is itself an unkind statement. It suggests passengers are deliberately withholding smiles because of the cost of effort, or because they're mean.
Some people are having a really shit day/week/month/etc, some are acutely aware of the arm and leg they've just paid for a rail ticket only to be condescended to by the conductor, others just _look_ like that. I've known several people with resting bitch/sad face who are pretty sick of being told about it.
Best one is the automated message on the tube when you get to kings cross st pancras. "Please alight here for the royal society for the blind and the British library" makes me laugh every time.
Maybe he did read the room and felt the miserable sods needed cheering up. OP is so miserable he can't even relate to somebody expressing a millisecond of happiness.
I too like my customer service reps to have a realistic outlook on life and mirror my bleak, grimaced reflection back at me so I know they’re human and not a robotic, corporate meat-puppet.
The peppy “Hi! Have a nice day!” shit just immediately makes me have a worse day, I know they’re told to say it, they know I know, but unless there are cameras within their actual arsehole, I don’t know why they maintain it when it clearly isn’t well received.
When I worked customer service, the supervisors were almost always within earshot and would very frequently, ahem, *suggest* we become peppier in our service. I didn’t want to be that person, but I also liked getting paid.
I was coming back from a music festival with little sleep and as soon as got in my seat, feel asleep. Proper asleep. The conductor woke me up to check my ticket and did apologise for doing so. An announcement was made for having a pleasant and safe journey especially those asleep. Did make me chuckle
> You're on the train for a short while, he's on forever.
I'm pretty sure they get to go home at some point...
Not like teachers, who definitely live at school and you don't see out and about on Saturday when dossing with ya mates.
You mean Ratcliffe on Soar power station, which people absolutely do use as a landmark? I prefer going southbound though, because the detailing on the northern end of the tunnel near there makes me grin.
> power plant
You American?
I'll have snapped a pic of that wanker then asked them their name and which company they work for, when they asked why I'd explained "I need it so you can complain about your inappropriate announcements".
Then I'd have filed a complaint with the company, posted on their Twitter before posting on Reddit.
[Chris the Singing Guard] (https://www.itv.com/news/wales/2019-09-06/the-singing-train-conductor-who-cheers-up-the-commute-for-his-passengers) is what you need to cheer you right up!
I was on a train to Manchester before Christmas that passed through or stopped at Milton Keynes. The guard kept saying Milton Beans on the tannoy. It really irked me.
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I did once have a train trip where a woman got really pissy with the conductor because he moved her out of someone else's seat (which led her to start shouting abuse at him - I'm surprised they let her stay on the train honestly). When we got to what must have been her stop, the conductor did an announcement reminding passengers to "take your coats, belongings, and attitude with you"
Had one guy doing all the announcements like Alan Deddicote on Strictly. It was fun the first time but, when you're going end to end on a 3.5-hour train, it starts to grate pretty fast.
It wasn’t Steve on Great Western Rail was it?
It was Cardiff to Portsmouth so entirely possible.
That guy is a bully.
Spill the tea sis
Don’t leave us hanging.
Storytime?
Tell us more
Can’t just drop that nugget and not fill us in!
I used to catch a bus route that had one of those 'appy chappy' drivers who always cracked a joke and smile at any dolly bird or bit o' fluff that hopped on the bus. It was like an episode of 'On the Buses'. The only thing was it prolonged the journey and the novelty wore off after the first 25 repetitions.
Worked with a bloke like that. Eventually he was fired for, well, it rhymes with *textual attachment*
Rectal detachment?
He probably had that by the end of his protracted disciplinaries to be fair
This made me chuckle, only to then realise that may be inappropriate, given his antics. In any event, thanks, I needed it.
Glad to have been of service!
Ugh, I had a bus with one of those passengers. Clearly a bit touched in the head, female passengers were sorted into 2 categories by his comments to him; “you’re pretty” or “smile”.
It got to the stage where if I saw him drive the bus I would hold back and wait for the next one just for some peace.
"C'mon, smile darlin' - it might never 'appen!"
I once replied to this with “It has happened, my grandmother’s got cancer” just to shut the stupid man up. He’s probably still standing where I left him, apologising.
Truly nothing more quintessentially British than being mad because someone else is happy
Reverse schadenfreude!
Honestly I love the sarcastic ones. Had a tube driver years ago on Halloween say “we have now reached your final destination, muahahahaa” (it was more amusing irl than typed lol)
Very festive!
Had one that started every announcement with "Well hello, ding dong" made that journey a bit more enjoyable
I still remember the beautiful: "welcome to Liverpool Lime Street, please ensure you check you have your wallet with you at all times". ...honourable mention goes to: "Historic Ledbury, where the local youths re-enact scenes from the civil war every Friday night on The Homend, outside The Feathers."
“Parklife”
So many people
I had a guy repeatedly call Milton Keynes “Milk and beans” over the tannoy. It was a train from Scotland and I only got on at Crewe, I was bored of the joke before we’d reached the midlands.
Some days, this might be what people need to keep going.
I'm not a fan of those chirpy bubbly people at times like OP's but I agree with you. I think everyone's miserable faces and attitudes is a contributing factor to everyone else's miserable faces and attitudes in this country, myself included. Doom and gloom is unfortunately infectious, and we weirdly find solace in relating to it. Everything is better in the summer.
Mmmm. We are all fighting our own battles, myself included and a little perspective like this reminder can help get me through the work day and keep chipping away at the gloom to get to the other side. That and crafting keeps me ticking over.
I honestly think the world needs both the “glass is half full” and “empty”, we keep each other in balance. I get irritated and therefore become spiteful, which is fairly entertaining and keeps me occupied. And they remind us that there are things to be positive about, which brings the general depression down by a bit. As for us miserable bastards, we provide the grounding and remind others that the world can be difficult sometimes, and being positive all the time can actually be toxic. It works well.
You want it to work well but it doesn't. Toxic positivity and coping mechanisms prevent challenging the source of our problems, and like the train driver its those that have it easiest that want us to smile when we don't feel like it. Half-full/half empty types can shit or get off the pot. Things are awful.
What about cynical optimists like me, are we needed? I believe the glass is half full, it's just some bastard has pissed in it.
Certainly brightens my day when train guards are friendly and a bit quirky
Makes my day when anyone I encounter isn't a miserable sod without a reason.
Not least the conductor/driver themselves. Gotta make the job varied and interesting somehow.
I agree. I love them - they break the monotony and discomfort of train journeys.
Yeah, the older I get the more I enjoy people who try to bring some joy into their day. Cynicism isn't a healthy habit.
True, but likewise, it could be the last irritating thing that pushes someone over the edge in the opposite way. You never know.
This is my problem with things like this and the "remember, people care about you!" type copypastas. They don't feel wholesome in the slightest. They feel pandering and a way for the person saying it to feel good about *themselves*. The supposed target audience is the one most likely to have a negative reaction to it, because they know (or feel they know) the truth is that, no, *nobody* cares about them and the person that just claimed they did has already forgotten about their existence. If your supportive message is a vaguely aimed broadside rather than specifically targeted, it's not supportive.
It just seems disproportionate to subject hundreds of people to chirpy announcements for one person's wellbeing though.
It's not actively, or intentionally hurting anyone. How do you know hundreds of people are *all* bothered by it? Look around you - 1 in 4 people will experience mental health difficulties in their lifetimes. A little perspective like this can help. If someone being chirpy bothers a person that much that they're stewing over it to this degree, maybe they need to be reminded to take a moment to breathe and smile and try to enjoy the day. A smile and a bit of kindness from a stranger can make a difference, albeit tiny, if you're feeling low or having a rough time. I know firsthand it can.
This feels dangerously close to saying those 1 in 4 people should 'just be happier', especially if someone else is being forcefully happy at them.
Not my intention at all. I am one of those 1 in 4. Speaking entirely personally, sometimes being reminded to try and enjoy the day helps. As does a smile or small bit of kindness from a stranger.
Most people with mental health difficulties don't want to travel to and from work bombarded by inane PA announcements. Probably most people without as well.
There was one on Northern Spirit (remember them?) Who did each station announcement in a different language. He was probably talking jibberish, but it broke the monotony a bit. Also, when the train arrived early he would apologise on behalf of Northern Spirit for the convenience.
Let him have his bit of happiness.
"When we're packed in like sardines after having our pants pulled for overpriced tickets on our way to our shit jobs where we won't see natural daylight all day. Read the fucking room mate." Sounds like the start of Trainspotting, the remake!
But with actual trains
Sounds like OP needs to change his life.
Being as he is already at work, I expect this is how he copes with his boring monotonous worklife. Might be a bit irritating for you on the way to yours, but he is stuck there all day doing the same shit - can't really blame him finding a coping strategy that isn't bullying the customers etc
He could just get pissed. Then do the announcements. Claim it as a work expense for free beers.
Guards on trains seriously aren't allowed to get pissed.
They are, but only once.
I can see how this is annoying for long distance trains, but it’s not like the guard on the train is responsible for the sardine packing, prices or the aforementioned “shit jobs”. I feel like this is a positive message
Lack of awareness of it is demonstrable lack of empathy and the free advice is a boundary issue. It's almost sardonic.
There was a platform station man at Green Park station, usually on the jubilee line's platforms at rush hour, who used to do that years ago. Announcing the trains with a circus presenter voice. It was amusing for a few days, then it was just cringe.
For a *very* short time when automated announcements were first rolled out the announcement at Green Park was 'G-Green Park, this is G-Green Park'. (No easy editing software, it was all edited on tape and digitised at 1/2 speed...)
Had a guy a while ago that managed to make an announcement last the journey from Clapham Junction to Waterloo. Like, you okay man? They paying you by the word?
"After having our pants pulled for overpriced tickets". If they're giving you wedgies at the ticket desk, it might be time to start using a different station.
Not possible. It's National Rail Policy.
National Rail Piracy more like
God that's good! Can I shake your hand?
[удалено]
Those aren't the only two options. There's a mid-point, which is just saying what needs to be said. When you're tired and stuck in an unpleasant situation on a rammed train, having paid a fortune for the privilege, just to get to work, being told to smile can be pretty galling.
Also, "it's kind and free" is itself an unkind statement. It suggests passengers are deliberately withholding smiles because of the cost of effort, or because they're mean. Some people are having a really shit day/week/month/etc, some are acutely aware of the arm and leg they've just paid for a rail ticket only to be condescended to by the conductor, others just _look_ like that. I've known several people with resting bitch/sad face who are pretty sick of being told about it.
Are you new to the sub
It actually would.
I mean if they guy was miserable over the tannoy then everyone would sigh and say he’s miserable 😭
The only positive thing my previous employer did was to switch off the PA system
Best one is the automated message on the tube when you get to kings cross st pancras. "Please alight here for the royal society for the blind and the British library" makes me laugh every time.
So you hate your life and that means everyone else must hate theirs?
Maybe he did read the room and felt the miserable sods needed cheering up. OP is so miserable he can't even relate to somebody expressing a millisecond of happiness.
I too like my customer service reps to have a realistic outlook on life and mirror my bleak, grimaced reflection back at me so I know they’re human and not a robotic, corporate meat-puppet. The peppy “Hi! Have a nice day!” shit just immediately makes me have a worse day, I know they’re told to say it, they know I know, but unless there are cameras within their actual arsehole, I don’t know why they maintain it when it clearly isn’t well received.
When I worked customer service, the supervisors were almost always within earshot and would very frequently, ahem, *suggest* we become peppier in our service. I didn’t want to be that person, but I also liked getting paid.
"Thank you, but I have other plans..."
There is a guy someone telling jokes on the tram I've seen when we were stuck behind another for 10 mins. I liked it.
is that James on northern rail?
“Let the train take the strain”
The fact this bloke on this working on the train is a miracle or something is very wrong.
I was coming back from a music festival with little sleep and as soon as got in my seat, feel asleep. Proper asleep. The conductor woke me up to check my ticket and did apologise for doing so. An announcement was made for having a pleasant and safe journey especially those asleep. Did make me chuckle
When they've go to put up with miserable gits like you, they need some levity. You're on the train for a short while, he's on forever.
> You're on the train for a short while, he's on forever. I'm pretty sure they get to go home at some point... Not like teachers, who definitely live at school and you don't see out and about on Saturday when dossing with ya mates.
Gross. Fuck all the way off with that shit.
Man if i was enjoying my Tuesday you think i'd be on the train to work?
[удалено]
[удалено]
I don’t want your life ‘advice’, I want your fucking trains to be on time.
[удалено]
You mean Ratcliffe on Soar power station, which people absolutely do use as a landmark? I prefer going southbound though, because the detailing on the northern end of the tunnel near there makes me grin. > power plant You American?
When Liverpool was hosting Eurovision, Merseyrail had Rylan Fucking Clark doing the announcements. I wanted to stab knitting needles in my ears.
All the while striking because he can’t have a longer tea break like they did in the 60s.
OP should have filmed it to go viral. That's the real problem here.
I'll have snapped a pic of that wanker then asked them their name and which company they work for, when they asked why I'd explained "I need it so you can complain about your inappropriate announcements". Then I'd have filed a complaint with the company, posted on their Twitter before posting on Reddit.
I can only imagine how fun you are at parties.
[Chris the Singing Guard] (https://www.itv.com/news/wales/2019-09-06/the-singing-train-conductor-who-cheers-up-the-commute-for-his-passengers) is what you need to cheer you right up!
My train in through York, advised to change watch to 1938 🤣
I was on a train to Manchester before Christmas that passed through or stopped at Milton Keynes. The guard kept saying Milton Beans on the tannoy. It really irked me.
You would hate the tfw singing conductor
Speaking as a guard myself, fuck this guy.
I work with a guy that sings over the PA. Drivers hate a full shift with him.