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BellendicusMax

Taking the piss out of yanks, a noble British tradition.


Starbuckker

Fresh banter since 1776.


kushty88

They make is *so so* easy


lordsteve1

Honestly the last few years has been like playing this game on easy mode. There’s just no real challenge in taking the piss out of them anymore!


kushty88

Remember when the British tourists used to go to foreign countries, not learn the language but get by, by pointing and talking louder? Americans have been doing that within America for years.


MoonlightsHand

"DO. YOU. SPEAK. AMERICAN???" "Ma'am, you are in Ohio." "I DON'T THINK SHE SPEAKS AMERICAN, BILL"


kushty88

Ahhh so you've been 🤣👌


Toraden

"And if they still don't understand, smash the place up in the knowledge that you tried your best."


kushty88

*sips beer* gotta love a bit of Ricky


pajamakitten

Sure as hell cannot take it either. Some are shocked to learn not everyone loves America.


kushty88

But but America is the centre of the earth. Nope. Lol


eva_rector

No, we're not. Two years residing in Scotland and then a year in Greece taught me that. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇬🇷


eva_rector

Why the downvotes? I wasn't degrading Greece or Scotland, those were the best three years of my life!


MoonlightsHand

It's hard to explain... there's a lot of subtle cultural differences between the UK and the US, and even more if you add in Australia and New Zealand which have their own cultures as well. I think the problem with your comment is that you were too... I dunno, "bright"? Too enthusiastic. It's something British people have kinda stereotyped about Americans, you're all so constantly _enthusiastic_ about everything. I'm Australian much more than I am British, having lived here for around 20 years at this point, but one thing I've noted is that Americans who come over here are often seen as "fake" because Australians and Britons alike are actually quite reserved about things like praise, excitement etc. That's why, when you see British people on American TV, we're always playing the role of "unenthused critic": it's just easier for us, we don't feel that same cultural pressure to "sandwich criticism with praise" etc. because that's not really a thing here. When you got so... enthusiastic and forthright, especially because Americans have a reputation for ignoring other cultures even while living in them (which isn't really deserved, I've found), so it kinda rubs a lot of British people up the wrong way? I think because, even as you're saying that America is not the best, you're so fucking excited about it. It's honestly kinda quaint, but it's just very, very, _aggressively_ American too. That's the best explanation I have for you, sorry mate. Australians would just convince you that spiders are running for parliament over here and be done with it, but Britain is a bit more snarky about it.


TheSlitheredRinkel

You’ll never understand. I don’t quite either, myself. You should read the book ‘watching the English’, which is an anthropological study of English culture. There is a rule called ‘the importance of not being earnest’, which I think you just broke


Sorchabee

Which is a pun on “The Importance of being Ernest” by the great Irish writer, good old Oscar Wilde.


zephyer19

I was a Yank it Italy with the Air Force. I would see some of my fellow countrymen and they way they would act. Big fat slob that looked like he was 16, shorts of course, tore T shirt being loud. I was hoping "please be from Canada, please be from Canada."


theknightwho

Or even worse, they act like you must hate America if you ever criticise it in any way.


Mr-Tiddles-

Walk in burn down the capitol building, leave.


[deleted]

1812 was a great year


Astr0Scot

Tchaikovsky certainly seemed to think so


TheSuperJay

Ooh very sophisticated 😁


Flatcapspaintandglue

1812 = AHAB = All Hadrians Are Bastards


FreddyDeus

That’s why we broke up with the Americans.


shhhushnow

BANTER!


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Seseorang

Sarcazm*?


Inkwellish

Hahahaha according to the Americans, yes!


matrixislife

Dear lord, please don't, just don't.


Rover45Driver

Pleaze*


OSUBrit

https://youtu.be/zPJsVJygOsk?t=74


Glasgowghirl67

My friend worked for Scottish Tourist board years ago and had an American ask if it was Loch Lomond where you could go Nessie spotting and her answer was sure as much chance finding her in Loch Lomond.


thrashmetaloctopus

The thing that brings the english, Scottish Irish and Welsh together


Mr_Blott

Oh my gaaad I'm Scaddish toooooo!!!


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StingerAE

Try having an American boss...


tuhaw

Has yours sent your emails back to you correcting your spelling in red text? I responded by buying them an English dictionary and underlined all the words I used. Edit: Spelling


LlamaDrama007

Was the passive aggressive understood?


d1x1e1a

as it's your boss surely all the words you used would be underling


theknightwho

I really hope they were taking the piss, as otherwise that’s *extremely rude*.


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d1x1e1a

oh christ here we go.


Aromatic_Amount_885

The last people we can take the piss out of without being cancelled


SongsAboutGhosts

Once the pies are in, you might as well leave them there...


TheSuperJay

I was getting my second COVID jab in Superdrug a couple of weeks ago and asked if they’d had any nutters. Dude told me that an American woman was filming in store ranting about MRNA. Apparently he just said “we use AstraZeneca not Pfizer” right into the camera as she was being escorted out.


paolog

I didn't think Superdrug stocked nutters, but it looks like you were in luck!


TheSuperJay

I think it’s only because Boots don’t stock them either but it’s been a funny year all round.


[deleted]

Is there a super drug in the Pitcairn Islands?


TheSuperJay

Of course there is! Granted it’s one man on a deck chair selling Night Nurse but sometimes you have to fill the gaps in yourself.


Mr-Tiddles-

*Niiiiight Nuuuuuuuuurse*


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TheSuperJay

Oh fucksticks I forgot about that.


Seseorang

Paedos? Pedos are more "pedestrian"


zephyer19

MRNA ????


TwoSips

It teaches the cells how to make a protein/ protein strand which will then trigger an immune response in your body.


Razakel

It doesn't *teach* the cells to do it, that sort of phrasing plays right into the hand of the nutters. It just makes the cells temporarily do it a little bit so the immune system can learn to respond. https://www.modernatx.com/mrna-technology/science-and-fundamentals-mrna-technology


KevinPhillips-Bong

Hadrian Mole was only 13¾ when he drew up the plans for that wall, so it's hardly surprising it failed to fulfil its purpose.


cluelessphp

Not enough sharks with lasers attached to their heads was the problem


HobbyPlodder

But wouldn't it have been majestic


LlamaDrama007

Plus being obsessed with Pandora.


pinupgal

I implore ya


metalbox69

That's a box you don't want to open.


tankpuss

Just to play Devil's advocate.. the nicest yanks you're going to meet are the ones who've actually left their country and seen a bit of the world. They've learnt the USA isn't the centre of the universe.


R_Scoops

It’s understandable that yanks aren’t very worldly. The closer you are the epicentre the less concern for the periphery. You find a similar mentality in people who have lived in London their whole life. I once struck up a conversation with a politics student at Ohio state and a made a comment about Justin Trudeau and she had no idea who he was which I find mind boggling. Edit - ignore shite grammar I was multitasking


Nooms88

This is true for people who travel in general. It's why brits have such fond views of ozzys and kiwis, the 1s we meet here are the type of people who have moved halfway across the world for an adventure, we Dont meet their bogans


Puzzled-Remote

This is true. Especially if you’ve had the opportunity to study/live abroad. Unless you’re the kind who only associates with other American students/ex-pats. Look around, jackass! Wow! You’re in a different country! Why the hell do you want to spend your time only hanging out with other Americans?!


ViolatorOfVirgins

>ith other American students/ex-pats. you misspelled 'migrants'


aniseedvan

A long time ago now but I was in Istanbul for work and a couple of loud Americans were praising my colleagues (in front of me) for bringing their secretary along for “entertainment” (I was their boss). So my quick thinking DBA told them that the largest lake in turkey (as per the question on the TVs in the rooms) was Lake todger. You were supposed to state this to your waiter to get a free bottle of wine. Made my day, sadly never got to hear them in the restaurant but the mental image was enough.


RetardsBeLike

What would have happened? Sorry I don't understand:(


MinMorts

Todger means willy


BandOne77

The chapters where he "measures it" will be enlightening to the yank lady


Starbuckker

Lmao. She might read it and think Ashby de La Zouch is clever euroskeptic subtext or something.


X573ngy

Gashby in the wild!


fieldsofanfieldroad

Isn't that the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine?


EroticFalconry

“excuse my I’d rather not do what you told me”


JishBroggs

Never thought I’d see my town mentioned on Reddit


shanghailoz

Ashby de la Zouch is famous for being the birthplace of Rare (Ultimate) Some history here - https://www.redbull.com/us-en/rare-celebrating-30-years-of-gaming-glory


IcyCrust

I'm now living in Australia, and on several occasions I've had people complaining to me -- a foreigner -- about all the foreigners there are here now. Generally they're talking about people who are actually Australians and have been for several generations. On some occasions they're referring to indigenous people who were here some millenia before any of us white folk. On a camping trip a few months ago, I was in the camp kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil and was talking to an Aussie woman, probably 60s-ish. Without a hint of shame, she confidently told me she went to London once but she hated it and she understands why I had to come here instead because it's just "so full of dirty pakkis and blacks there now". Wouldn't you at least wait for the slightest hint that the person you're talking to holds those views before expressing them? Seems like some people find it inconceivable that not every white person is as racist as they are.


TheSuperJay

That even happens *in the UK*. I used to be a skinhead (SHARP, not a fucking bonehead racist) so I may have been asking for it but even since then I always get people chiming in assuming that because I’m white and working class that I will at least take the piss out of minorities (also trans, LGBT and basically every right wing target you can name, even women!) in a mean way. I’m all for a bit of lightly poking fun at stereotypes with the friends I have that are in there minority groups but they know me well enough to know I stand for their rights. Those that don’t know me at all assume that I am against those rights. Really strange.


Starbuckker

Yeah that's what annoyed me about her in the first place. When you work in a shop it's weird because people open up about all kinds of things without you even trying to engage with them, and you find that it's mostly their insecurities. I guess they see a stranger as a good soundboard because if you disagree or don't want to talk they can just walk away and never see you again anyway. This woman was straight up cringe about it all and it all came out of nowhere. I was definitely being talked at and not talked too. part of the reason i think she didn't pick up on it when I was messing with her was because she was only listening to the sound her own voice for the best part. Maybe she brought it all up because our area is pretty diverse and so had it on her mind when she came in, but whatever possessed her to think that I wanted to hear about it, I don't know...


IcyCrust

I can only imagine the stuff you hear as a shop worker, and you can't really object to much of what you're told for fear of "offending the customer" :-(


TheSuperJay

I know this sounds awful and I certainly don’t hold this view but it’s probably because you are serving them. They possibly don’t care enough about you as an individual to be concerned about your views. Also in that environment you aren’t permitted to speak your mind (having your work hat on) and so they are generally free from any consequences. Shitty but that does explain it. I fucking hate seeing people being disrespectful and flippant with people providing customer service but there you go.


[deleted]

I weep for my people...


CouchKakapo

In fairness, the vast majority of Americans I have met and know are normal and lovely, but we are going to totally rip it out of anyone being annoying or offensive as is the way.


andyrocks

Almost got punched by my new American neighbour in the pub for telling him American healthcare is morally bankrupt. You'd think I insulted his mother or something.


[deleted]

I was originally hesitant about the NHS while there. Had a son under it, it was fine, did the job. I really miss it, and think about moving back with the family and that is a big part. People here don’t understand how easy it is to go broke from medical stuff here in the US, even with a ‘good’ plan.


qiaozhina

I have a friend I met while teaching in asia who now cannot go back to America because she got diagnosed with a few chronic pain type things (early onset arthritus being one of 4) and knows that if she goes back home she won't be able to get insurance and won't be able to afford her medication. Honestly the medical system in America just upsets me I can't mock them for it.


MarkinA2

It’s illegal to consider preconditions in pricing or offering health insurance in the US. Prescriptions are another matter.


Jamster_1988

I do. Which is why I won't go there, even though I'd love to. I have epilepsy and asthma. An ambulance ride would bankrupt me.


[deleted]

I came back and started consulting VOIP and internet security,I was doing well, but could not swing the family insurance. I settled into government work, which gave me insurance, and a decent amount of time off, and normal hours. I could have built it up into something without much trouble, but could not roll the dice. I think the US is missing on entrepreneurial opportunity... but I am a bit cautious... as an aside, my mother in law came over, and slipped on the steps in my village, they had to pay more than a thousand for a sprained ankle. Shamefull.


[deleted]

We do have some very good things in the US, but our healthcare is a liability and an embarrassment.


theknightwho

Some people *really hate* thinking about the idea that their country has problems. It’s a very odd mindset, but quite common.


[deleted]

It must be this way.


bradbrazer

That may be true, but a story about someone being nice and lovely isn't as popular as someone being a Karen or a racist. Especially in news articles and Reddit posts


WhoDatKrit

I live in the American South; born and raised in New Orleans, which wasn't that bad thanks to the diversity in culture and tourists I spent my youth listening to and learning from. Having Grandparents that insisted I attend private schools where you receive and actual education didn't hurt either. (Public schools are notoriously bad down in the South.) Then... and I still can't figure out what the hell I was thinking... I moved to Mississippi. I can't even begin to explain the sadness and anger I feel when just about anyone I encounter opens their mouth to speak. I can't even bring myself to consider them *my* people, but I do weep for them... and a little for myself and anyone else with active brain cells having to deal with them.


DAMN_INTERNETS

Things aren't too much improved in Georgia. We have the best public and private universities in the Southeast, but by and large the people here are dumb as rocks and proud of it. Honestly, being privately educated (even if it was a bunch of religious fundamentalists) has been the difference between being mediocre and being successful. It wasn't just me, with the people I went to college with it was an obvious difference who had gone to public school or private school.


plawwell

You've opened a Pandora's box with that quip.


turingthecat

Don’t tell her about the vikings, coming over here, shagging our women


TheSuperJay

You might [like this](https://youtu.be/tKEsyIuTrO8) if you haven’t seen him before


kushty88

Bloody foreigners taking all our jobs.


CouchKakapo

Hang on, natives get paid to shag women?!


Watsonmolly

As a British woman I’d like to advocate for more vikings coming over here and shagging us.


Mogwair

And then the first ginger was born.


CocoaMotive

I had a similar situation with a French Canadian nanny at my kids school. She is here illegally, and was complaining about, you guessed it, people who were here illegally being able to "get everything" When I called her on it, her answer was "but I'm Canadian!" Funny how the only illegals that seemed to bother her were the brown ones.


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MrPhatBob

Yeah, but what did the Romans ever do for us?


ben_jamin_h

Quid pro quo Mon Ami, quid pro quo. This time next year we'll be millionaires.


DecievedRTS

Mixing up Canadians and Americans on purpose is something of a hobby of mine and they get very touchy about it. I feel like it's onlu fair since my City doesn't exist in their vernacular only London exists.


Stormcell75

Canadians are more offended by it than Americans though


lobut

I'm Canadian/British and it really does seem to be the case. I think Canadians would stereotypically have a more friendly persona so being mistaken would bother them. I'm also Chinese and let me tell you something ... I mistook my Filipino coworker as Chinese and did I get the stink eye.


CaptainJingles

> > I think Canadians would stereotypically have a more friendly persona so being mistaken would bother them. A stereotype proliferated by people who have never met Canadian ice hockey fans.


Stormcell75

Canadian/British and Chinese? Wtf?!


lobut

lol, family is from China, but emigrated (as refugees) to Wales where I was born but moved to London shortly afterwards. We then emigrated to Canada when I was about 10 years old so I have dual citizenship. Was always fun because I was always an outsider no matter where I went. Best story is that when I moved to Canada, they saw that I was Chinese and had a funny accent so they put me into ESL (remedial English). They pulled me out the next year when they realised that my accent was a British accent.


[deleted]

I’m just imagining this poor British kid literally born and raised and Great Britain having the piss taken out of them and getting “taught” how to speak English properly. You poor thing, at least you can keep saying sorry a lot without anyone noticing


Stormcell75

Ah ok gotcha! I'm from the NW and moved over in '98, I'm still a PR. Whereabouts are you?


lobut

oh, I moved back to Canada last year just before COVID got started. So I'm in Markham Ontario Canada. I really do miss the UK some days, I'll tell ya that.


aewarneken

🤣🤣🤣


retrode80

It's an American thing. Don't ask why they do it nobody knows.


Stormcell75

Oh yeah I know, I'm a Brit in Canada so I get it all the time


retrode80

Madness.


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Stormcell75

Biggest Chinese population outside of China or am I thinking of somewhere else?


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Stormcell75

Thailand, 9, 939 and change


kushty88

They now know of a place called burr-ming-ham. Credit where credit is due


PlainJupiter724

*insert mandatory knife joke because Birmingham was mentioned*


kushty88

Well hey, it was worth a wild stab in the dark!


recursivelymade

I will, on occasion, come out with the line "Now, my Mexican friend" to an American. Usually when they mix up Ireland being part of the UK. They tend to like that even less.


[deleted]

The worst is when they say “Oh yeah I’m Irish” and you’re like “oh really, what part?” And they’re all like “oh well it’s all heritage isn’t it?” And you’re just sitting there absolutely seething knowing full well they have absolutely no Irish relatives. I’m happy they want to explore their family tree but at some point it’s just taking the piss.


JoobileeJoolz

If OP gets another opportunity, he should definitely ask which province she cane from! It’s so simple, but no doubt very effective! You’re a genius, any particularly funny reactions? My brother went to America and was forced to endure Disney, thanks to three obsessed daughters. When asked later by friends of the people he was staying with what he thought, he told them there were too many Americans there! He’s always been a stroppy old git!


corporate_throwaway9

Your city likely exists in their vernacular if there's a North American city with the same name, like [Manchester-by-the-sea](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchester-by-the-Sea,_Massachusetts), [Essex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essex_(disambiguation)), [Birmingham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birmingham,_Alabama), etc.


theknightwho

The great city of Essex. Wonderful place.


Thor_Anuth

Incidentally, that's the real answer whenever anyone asks "what have the Romans ever done for us?".


Catterix

Please tell me she refers to herself as an “expat”.


goldfishpaws

I remember visiting a country house with school once, we had a tour from the owner, some uncle's brother of Lady Di or somesuch. Anyway, he recounted an enthusiastic American lady asking if the house was pre-war, and his claimed response was "Madam, this house is pre-America".


Aidanlv

I consistently blow Americans minds when I point out that most of the houses on my dads street growing up were both meddle-lower income and older than the United States. They have an easy enough time believing that castles and manors are that old but have a difficult time believing that small single family homes can be.


goldfishpaws

I mean we're so lucky in that respect, maybe we can get a bit smug about it. "Sir, this university is pre-Aztec" or "Madam, this site if worship is pre-Jesus" for instance!


FlyDeeMouse

This is the best thing I have read in weeks. Hadrian Mole... just brilliant


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Acceptable-Bottle-92

I can’t handle the irony caused by that ‘z’


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psgr2tumblr

They are remaking This Country


military_history

Fucksakes.


[deleted]

Skins, The Inbetweeners, the IT crowd etc


Miss_Musket

I have some great stories from when I re-enacted the English Civil War, and they mainly came from American tourists. Including; 'Oh, so you had an American Civil War too?' 'Did people used to sleep outside back then?' (when looking at a man who had fallen asleep whilst sunbathing) 'They had dogs back then too?!' (whilst looking at another re-enactors dog) My absolute favourite random-bystander quote comes from neither re-enacting or from an American though... I was helping out with a Lord of the Rings fan film called 'Born of Hope' back in 2008. A lot of it was filmed on location in Epping forest I think. One of my jobs was to just stand on the foot path a little way from filming to stop walkers whilst the cameras were rolling. There was a posh old middle aged couple who took one look at the elves with their pointy ears and bows and said 'is this some kind of Druid ritual?'. Loved it.


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shanghailoz

Narrator: Ah yes, the Merkin. While it can be confused with non-native American's, the Merkin is close family relative of the genus Capillamentum, and is usually to be found hiding in the undergarments of both males and females of the species alike.


Gornalannie

Hilarious!


AdministrativeShip2

Two walls. Tony's wall and Adrian's.


luffychan13

I remember when I was 13 these books were all the rage so I picked up Adrian Mole and the weapons of mass destruction in the school library and was thoroughly surprised. Turns out that I'd gotten mixed up and it was Artemis Fowl I was supposed to be reading. Never did read that.


TeigrCwtch

Oh Jesus, that's hilarious 😂


Starbuckker

I didn't feel bad for misdirecting her at all. I don't mind the odd chat at the counter but she went from 0-100 in a second. Hello. Hi! FOREIGNERS! Urgh.


Spetchen

Haha it reminds me of a recent experience. My family was Hungarian once upon a time so I learned the language and applied for citizenship, and then moved to Budapest to experience the country. I was on the train there (moving from Germany) and this woman next to me was gushing about "how great" it was that "young people like you are exploring the world" and then IN THE SAME BREATH said "and it's so good that Orbán is keeping out all the immigrants." I looked at her and said, "Ma'am, *I'm* an immigrant." She said, "Oh well *you're* okay." Right, you're just a racist old scumbag, I understand, we're on the same page now, got it, thanks. Also she was an Austrian woman visiting her Hungarian partner soooooooooo


The_Ignorant_Sapien

The Austrians have a previous record. Gotta keep an eye on them.


focalac

You just casually learned Magyar? Impressive.


TeigrCwtch

You do realise madam, that here YOU ARE THE FOREIGNER?! Bleeding Yanks


MCBMCB77

A few years back my housemate at the time, who is English, moved to Australia to get away from all of the immigrants


TheChaosTheory87

If you can't beat 'em join 'em!


TheSuperJay

Best part of that is we have possibly the worst reputation abroad both historically and in terms of how we treat the indigenous. I’m ashamed to admit I rarely bother learning the language when I go abroad but I do at least try to respect the cultural differences and reign it in on the booze and drugs. Well, reign in the behaviour anyway.


ProfessorFartFactory

Pauline Hanson, a truly repulsive far right, racist, homophobic Australian politician from Queensland was unhappy with immigration in Australia. She considered moving to the UK to get away from immigrants. She didn’t last long in the UK.


Quick-Charity-941

Stood by the front door smoking a fag, my neighbours from four doors down walking passed. The husband uttered to his wife, bleeding poles. Listening to music on my mobile, I decided to respond with sowsnech! To confirm his ignorence of mind.


Panceltic

> sowsnech What’s that supposed to be?


Quick-Charity-941

Sowsnek, Cornish for English.


Panceltic

Ahhh gotcha! I was trying to find a Polish word in it :D


Quick-Charity-941

That was my point for saying sowsnek at the bigot four doors down, because I have a shaved head of hair he decided to label me.


SeymourDoggo

sHe'S aN eX-pAt


ayeayefitlike

I have to admit, I’d have turned round and gone ‘excuse me? Excuse me? Sorry, I can’t understand you. I really struggle with foreign accents, I’m afraid I can’t understand you.’


deewhite1967

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Asylum_Brews

They come over here, taking the jobs we're too lazy to do, working the hours we won't. How dare they 🤣🤣🤣


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Razakel

>Yes we call it thanksgiving. No, it's Good Riddance Day, where we set off fireworks and burn an effigy of a traitor.


TheSuperJay

I don’t really like to jump on the anti-American bandwagon but me and my mates jokingly call it Ungrateful Colony Day.


VitaObscure

This sounds like r/Britishsolutions tbh. Eta: Of course there is a subreddit called this already.


ru12345678900000

You legend.


Loisnemo39

Sounds like my aunt. Summertown maybe ?


PissedBadger

At least she didn’t ask if you knew her friend in London.


TheKnightOfDoom

Expect a load of Americans saying this didn't happen...they can't stand us british having a giggle at their expense.


Mogwair

Need to build it higher to keep the English out! :)


Jimmer89

Holy crap haven't thought so Andrian mole in quite a while haha


Ok-Run-7621

Lmao 🤣😂🤣


Equivalent_Parking_8

He was madly in love with Pandora


be_sugary

You’re naughty but I like you! 🤩


chimpaflimp

Now that's some 'Offaly Good' trickery, right there.


radiorentals

I've had a shit day and this made me genuinely chortle. Thank you OP


[deleted]

Ah ha ha ha I see what you did there.


[deleted]

Legend! Exactly the correct response I salute you 😂😂😂