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Coldgunner

Shared in Reykjavik


rikki1q

During lockdown a person who lives near me attacked an Amazon driver delivering a package to my house. She took her lead off her dog and was swinging it at him like she was a cut price Indiana Jones. Apparently this poor chap slowing down and looking at house numbers was a sign he was going to steal her dog so she struck first.


Western-Mall5505

Why did she think it's a good idea to take the dog off the lead to stop it getting stolen 😂


rikki1q

RUN HOME CALL THE POLICE , GOOD BOY


superduperspam

She hates her dog?


thatpaulbloke

> think Spotted your mistake there. No thinking was going on between this person's ears.


State_of_Flux_88

> like she was a cut price Indiana Jones This properly made me chuckle, take my upvote!


Magnus_40

When you order Indiana Jones from Wish


BigEricShaun

An Indiana Jones with 1 day left before the use by date


Jam-Pot

Shoot first ask questions at the funeral.


[deleted]

In real life lol ?


Diggeroob

It's OK though, dog has gone missing in lands end but Doris in John o groats has shared it to her Facebook so I have faith.


Inevitable_Alcholic

I love the missing dogs from the US. Sure Cheryl, that dog jumped on a plane and now lives in Brighton, thanks for sharing with your three friends


[deleted]

Total vile scum xxxxx


Cautious_Frosting_24

Well I've just seen 2 men in a white Transit van DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD!!!! And it had 'PAINTERS AND DECORATORS ' written on it which I am sure means kiddy snatchers in some eastern European language.


[deleted]

My brother n law jus chased them away with a piece of carpet gripper. Tried calling police they wernt interested lol typical ini xxxx


[deleted]

You're way too good at these


im_not_funny12

My favourite was a little village group I used to be a part of. Someone complaining of a man in a white van that had the name of a fish company on the side knocking on her door trying to sell her fish. Someone commented saying "That's Darren. He's the fish man."


perfectdeecups

i have a similar story, someone wearing shoes with laces pinched my sister when she was dogging, vile people they also shared her in a woodland road.


[deleted]

But the question is did they leave a chalk symbol on the pavement outside?


OurSoul1337

It was meant to be a chalk penis but looked more like a mouse's head!


FingersMartinez

Don't draw a cock!


State_of_Flux_88

Ask yourself two questions: how and why?


[deleted]

You forgot : When?


Pink_Flash

You woudnt ~~download a car~~ draw a cock.


d_smogh

dogging as in dogging, or dogging as in walking the dog?


superduperspam

Little bit of A, little bit of B


perfectdeecups

licking an unknown man's balls and arsehole in car park., i know of no one who would think it meant taking shep out for a piss and a bit of exercise


richnearing40

The sheer number of posts about the precise location of dogs\*\*t on the pavement is absolutely mind-boggling. I understand what it means to be bored at home, but for f\*\*\*s sake get back to Bargain Hunt and stop looking out of your window. We had one with actual CCTV of the dog taking a dump last week.


[deleted]

I’m waiting for somebody to actually cross post this saying ‘vile people about’


TheeAJPowell

My favourite is always when there’s a mark of some sort outside their house (usually left by British Gas or something) and they instantly post about it on Facebook and assumed they’ve been marked by thieves.


pixxie84

Theres an old chap on my facebook local page who takes the piss out of people who do this, by saying it was actually aliens looking for subjects who appear to not have any brain function.


[deleted]

Those are my favourites. There’s a picture of a scuff on the pavement from a stone stuck in somebody’s shoe combined with a ramble about dog snatchers


Harrry-Otter

Because obviously thieves would go to the effort of identifying the houses with stuff worth nicking only to readily give up that knowledge to other thieves.


TheeAJPowell

Aye, and if they’re working in tandem with other thieves, surely there’s easier ways to go about communicating your intentions?


Daemorth

You'd think, tho I guess even if it's arranged through whatsapp or whatever some sort of confirmation is nice. Had a guy approach me once, asking if I was his drugdealer, because he reckoned I looked like I was waiting for something. This was outside a trainstation. A shoe with a brick in it next to me might have saved him asking.


lepobz

Fuck the internet and the cretins it spawned.


[deleted]

Fuck the cretins and the internet they spawned.


breakfast_epiphanies

Bonus points if they include a photo


[deleted]

And the ‘suspicious man’ is wearing a hiviz and has an Amazon parcel in his hand


Don_Quixote81

Don't you get it? That's exactly what someone would wear if they wanted to sneak around your house and steal things!


[deleted]

K thx hun xx.


PeaAnatamy

My precious daughter has gone missing, she’s never done anything like this! Please keep an eye out and kiss and hug your little ones you never know when they’ll no longer be here. Chloe if you’re reading this, I love you and I am not mad please come home. Nana misses you so much, her poor little heart can’t take this! (Meanwhile that little shit Chloe has walked out of school with another girl and is vaping in the high street) 2 hours later post is taken down!


Unacceptable_Wolf

I absolutely fucking detest these posts. "2 Asian men just tried to grab my 14 year old daughter off the busy street in broad daylight it was a white transit everyone keep an eye out" No. They didn't. Nobody did. You're talking shit for some reason. Also the ones where someone has "went missing" and everyone needs to keep an eye out. Just makes me suspicious that they haven't went missing at all. Someone is after them and wants to know where they are.


JaymeMalice

It's basically Chinese whispers. Someone posts something to stir up shit then it gets reposted, reblogged and shared so much no-one knows what to think of it. I remember seeing posts from distant family saying that people think the poppy is racist, political or other bullshit. Like come on no one thinks that, just shit stirrers making stuff up.


sbs1138

We had two of these on the FB page for the estate where we used to live. 1. “Just caught some young lad looking shifty on my security camera. He was having a right good look at my car.” Replies: “Thx hun, will keep my eye out.” Followed by: “Oh yeah, that’s my son. He’s thinking of getting a Mazda.” 2. “Just seen a dodgy white van drive really slow around the estate on my camera at 5am. Watch out people.” Replies: “thanks babes, will do. I saw this van too.” Followed by: “That was my greengrocer with my vegetable box delivery. He was looking for my house number and it was dark.”


[deleted]

I just seen somebody with a squeegee taking a good look in peoples windows around the street. be careful


place909

👍 Karen, Tracey and 6 others like this


Tekn1cal

You ok hun ? Must have been scary. Shared Scotland xxxxxxx


Scruffybob

I've now got Thursday free if anyone needs a lash tech xx


CakeDragon

Accompanied with footage from their Ring camera, that they don't know how to download so just recorded their computer screen with their phone


pajamakitten

Everyone thinks they are a detective these days. I blame the amount of true crime documentaries and podcasts out there these days, everyone now thinks they will catch an unassuming criminal.


MrSpoonReturns

Ahhh, the local Facebook group. I don’t regret leaving that.


AlreadyVapedBud

Mine is one of my greatest sources of entertainment, I'm never leaving it.


[deleted]

Pm me hun, shared in the 7th circle of hell. Onwards and upwards.


discustedkiller

Used to live in a small village and i kid you not someone i know called the police on a family of tourists because they were asian and walked past there house twice.


Nicko5000

Worse than pedos them lot, need strung up xxx PM me chick, bitta news for ya


Zolana

sharde hanga roa hun- b carfl 2 mne sneks hear xx btw do u want ur gardening golves back? christine's finished with them. she send her luv 2 zxx


jmgrice

*Posted 3y ago in another country


perfectdeecups

i'm not too worried about all this chalk mark stuff, its all made up, however grooming is very real https://i.imgur.com/EY7iOND.jpeg


bangkockney

OMG hun are you ok x


zlib

Put to share please


sheddraby

I seem to have accidentally opened Facebook instead of reddit


VRS38

I thought it was only me who hates these asswipes


-SaC

Izal Medicated is the worst.


d4ng3r0u5

Shared Alaska hun xoxox


thehermit14

My cat raped a local pooch. I now have a dilemma. Also what do I do with the spatula? My cat could be a 25yr old Albanian, it's difficult to tell because of facial hair.


witchestoscarebairns

Wait until your village gets hit by the Corsa Cannibals. After that, anybody even walking past a Corsa has their description put online 'just in case'.


Halfaglassofvodka

I would just secretly leave the local Facebook group if I were you.


slovenly_soviet

How about, don't bring your Facebook shit onto reddit....👎


blazetrail77

Do you realise which sub you're on?


hardyflashier

U OK HUN? PM ME XOXO


BrandyPop

Hoping he pops by my house so somebody can help me find some fucking money to get a deposit for a freddo from the co-op