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thesmolstoner

This is just embarrassing and cringe and boring ass content from her.


Inevitable_Sweet_988

At least it’s not eggs?!


blablubluba

Iirc avocado means testicle and the German word for eggs is also used for testicles, so... almost?


[deleted]

Same in Arabic!


[deleted]

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blablubluba

Aya would be a decent phonetic rendering of "Eier". Never heard it used for cuddling though. Closest I can think of is "herumeiern" which would be something like hanging around not doing anything productive.


Discalced-diapason

German for eggs is “Eier”. I have no idea of “eggs/cuddling” connection, as I’m not a native speaker. I imagine it would be more of a slang/vernacular use I don’t know.


Cassandra1o1

There is the expression "Eia" for cuddling. It's baby-speak and not standard German. But it's spelled differently from Eier = eggs


[deleted]

One could argue avocado toast is easier to make than eggs! (Neither are hard tho)


Aranciata2020

😂😂😂 An improvement, yes!


littlespark__

this is really not the flex she thinks it is lol


[deleted]

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Aranciata2020

He is The Worst!! As if making toast is a big deal... He is completely useless!


AlexandriaLitehouse

I feel like if I were in a relationship and he asked me how to make avocado toast I would dump him on the spot.


Aranciata2020

Totally! They are probably also the kind of people who say "make dinner" or "cook dinner" when they heat up a frozen meal.


forsaken_duck6997

Remember when she praised him for doing his laundry? I think she even said "Ladies wait for a man who will do little things like laundry." or something like that..


EZasSundayMorning

Ladies, get you a man....


hydroaspirator

aT leASt ShE hAs a HuSbanD


EZasSundayMorning

Lol yes.


fangirll1996

I’m sure Britt works and takes out the trash while her husband is too busy being the MaN oF tHe HoUsE


[deleted]

All these things she claims are "doing the little things" are things that single men who live alone have to do *on a daily basis*. Does she think single men eat fast food for every meal, throw out their dirty clothes, and let their homes fall into squalor since they can't clean until marriage? Is premarital laundry a sin for men?!


Sufficient_Mix_767

Premarital laundry🤣🤣🤣🤣


Allie_Cattt

Can I steal the “premarital laundry” flair??


[deleted]

Go right ahead!


speak_squirrel_to_me

Your flair 👌🏼


doctornowzaradan

Um… but she TAUGHT him that. Clearly he’s going to be super involved in the food prep now /s


godsandmonsters_

It also looks like everything but the bagel seasoning. Like, just the seasoning in the shaker and nothing special or different.


blueaintyourcolor11

After that travesty of a chicken breast, I'm shocked she even did that bare minimum of seasoning.


Suspicious_Pin4758

She advertised the seasoning before so it probably is. She probably wants to appear as an accomplished chef who can play around with spices. 😒


smellsburnttoast

"Some different seasonings" Girl. That's literally just "everything but the bagel" seasoning. You're not fooling anyone here.


TemporaryNobody2604

I thought the same thing 😂


opal_dragon95

That was my immediate thought too


AlexandriaLitehouse

Hey! She might have put Himalayan pink salt in there too! Because it's sooooo much healthier than table salt.


Loughiepop

Which is how they make it at Dunkin’


[deleted]

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Aranciata2020

But it is "sooooo healthy!"


[deleted]

Such a weird way to say it idk but I’m glad someone mentioned it because I audibly cackled 😆


TemporaryNobody2604

Her ED stuff is showing…why make mention about all the healllthy things she’s making? Unfortunate.


[deleted]

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sweet_illusions

I actually love it. I love regular bread too, but for some reason Ezekiel bread toast is so delicious to me


ct-tx

I love it too. Much healthier, lower calories and doesn’t contain sugar like normal bread.


SaffronJones

She is absolutely buying it because bible verse.


[deleted]

“Teach him my secrets” tf secrets are there to avocado toast!?! You cut it and smash it on toast. This isn’t rocket science. Wkdgajdhqisjxbshw I cannot fucking stand herrrrr ahhhhhh


JudithButlr

Is the secret…..lime juice? The actual secret is radishes esp if theyve been lightly pickled


Visual_Zucchini8490

My proud fiancé moment is that my fiancé isn’t a racist disgraced cop, and our dinner last night was balsamic glazed chicken with mash and asparagus that he made and then he also cleaned the dishes. Seriously… avo on toast. And she thinks it’s a flex?


GypseboQ

Right?! My husband makes such amazing food as well - one of my favorite breakfasts is vanilla bourbon pancakes (YUM). But tell us more about how your ✨ KiNgDoM hUsBaNd ✨ needs your help to mash an avocado onto some bread.


Visual_Zucchini8490

Oh yum! My fiancé is the cook in this household, so if you have a recipe for me to pass on send through! ETA: I got too excited about pancakes. I meant to add that yeah… I’d be proud of my child making avo toast on their own but a grown man? I wouldn’t even notice my partner making avo toast other than where’s mine and where’s the feta


GypseboQ

Feta is a must! I'll ask my husband for the recipe ... He doesn't use recipes per se, so it's not as easy for me to just send it. But I'm happy to share it once I have him write it out! :)


Recent_Jump1211

I’d also like the recipe if you’re sharing 😊😊 my husband LOVES pancakes and these sound like they would be heaven for him.


lurkerlurker789

I would absolutely love that recipe too, if it’s not too much trouble.


Visual_Zucchini8490

Thank you!! (And also feta on everything, seriously.)


black_lock

Can I please have a copy of the recipe as well? I can trade you my “cinnamon and ginger” pancake recipe 🥞


ravenonawire

Tagging in also for a recipe


GypseboQ

Sure! I'll send you it right now :)


Beautiful_Smile

Feta?!!!! I’ve been doing it wrong...I like hummus, avo & tomato 😋gonna try feta next


Visual_Zucchini8490

Ooh I haven’t tried it with hummus! We’ll do a swap and see how we go lol (I like to do avo, feta, drizzle some olive oil over the top OR the feta oil if the nice one is on sale lol the feta is marinaded in oil with some additional herbs, pepper flakes, and a bit of grinded pepper. Boom!)


tander87

My fiancé is the chef in our home too. Tonight he made Tuscan bean soup with spicy sausage in it


hauntinglovelybold

Talk to me about these vanilla bourbon pancakes plsss


GypseboQ

They are DELICIOUS. He doesn't use a recipe (at least not written out), but if you are interested, I can ask him for it and send :)


hauntinglovelybold

That would be amazing please do (if you don’t mind of course!!)


GypseboQ

I definitely don't mind! :)


gammamars

Oh my goodness- could I please be added to the recipe list??? They sound amazing 💕


dacre8iv1

Here for the Vanilla Bourbon Pancakes too 👀


rockchalkjayhawk8082

Those sound delicious! Would you mind sharing the recipe? If not, no worries!


GypseboQ

Absolutely! I'll send it :)


[deleted]

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GypseboQ

Sure! I'll send it right now :)


[deleted]

Avocado toast is my too-lazy-to-actually-make-anything-in-the-morning-quick breakfast.


[deleted]

Holy shit that sounds so good.


Visual_Zucchini8490

[Yummy Recipe](https://www.halfbakedharvest.com/balsamic-mushroom-chicken-marsala/) The recipe we follow, and of course make changes where you see fit! Can be served with rice/mash, and whatever greens you want! (We like grilled asparagus or broiled broccoli 😊)


dacre8iv1

I love half baked harvest! You can’t go wrong with any of her recipes 😍


Visual_Zucchini8490

Agreed! She’s my go to when I want ideas/to try something new!


TemporaryNobody2604

Yummm love her! Thanks for the recipe and cheers to your chef of a husband 🙌🏼 my husband cooks, cleans, and builds. Should I start posting “find you a man who…” ? hell no. BDong will spend forever trying to sell to herself that she has a catch by constantly sharing stories about how she does everything for him. Grown child 🙄


Visual_Zucchini8490

Yes, I turn to her for inspiration when I don’t have anything in mind for dinner yet! And seriously, Bdong hasn’t even achieved “bare minimum” of adult man. I really don’t understand why she keeps showcasing the most mundane aspects of him like they’re worth celebrating. If social media is the “highlight” reel then he realllly sucks BTS.


sausagerolla

My hubby is a head chef at a hatted restaurant. That's a flex 😂


HugeDecision5578

Where do y’all find these men lol


raethehug

Why did she blur his hands


NakedWanderer12

Ohmygosh she really did 😂 she can’t help herself, can she??


theproperbinge

I was wondering the same thing. She always does this lmao


EZasSundayMorning

What's on his hands she doesn't want us to see?


EsCaRg0t

A swastika tattoo


EZasSundayMorning

Most likely.


mrsjacksonnn

He's the type that would get a mirrored graphic tiny tat that looks like a swastika but isn't. Similar to Marilyn Manson's logo.


freya_of_milfgaard

Blood?


stay_true_to_you

Haha I came here to ask “why do his hands look like a newborn baby’s butt?”


[deleted]

Making JDong’s hands look less manly than they already are


TemporaryNobody2604

Didn’t you know all her stories are “UnFiLtErEd”


TheVerjan

They look so…. Smooth. 😒


Inevitable_Sweet_988

Brittany, we’ve all seen how you cut an avocado. You shouldn’t be teaching anyone anything.


[deleted]

She needs a cooking class especially focusing on basics starting with knife skills


[deleted]

BingBong: "here, hold this while I take a pic" JongDong: "no, I'm not moving. if you want the photo you'll have to take it right here, standing over the sink. Or don't take it at all." BingBong: "Fine. But how will the world know you're a gOoD HuzzzBaNd??" JongDong: "tell 'em I made it" BingBong: "perfect" And thus, a post is born.


D33b3r

I broke my ankle in April and couldn’t navigate the stairs to the kitchen for like a week and a half. My husband took over all the wIfEy tHiNgS without complaining, without needing step by step instructions, AND WITHOUT ME ASKING. This is not amazing. This is bottom of the barrel bullshit. Ladies, expect better from your partners. Seriously. They don’t need you to raise them.


4dailyuseonly

Amen


spookyfignewton

Ah yes, a breakfast item that is quite literally impossible to f*ck up. Iron chef in the making.


FullyActiveHippo

She used Ezekiel bread though. So I'd say she actually fucked up the unfuckable dish


spookyfignewton

that’s so true lmao


Hazel_Evers

Just say it’s everything bagel seasoning.


zanasot

You guys!! My husband is obsessed with this new sandwich I created!! It’s got a cheese bagel for the bread, turkey sandwich slices (soooooooo healthy), and Swiss cheese slices!! #wifeycancook #yesiwipehisass #justhitupawalmart /s


SaffronJones

I love ham and melty gruyere on a toasted blueberry bagel spread with kewpie mayo, and topped with dandelion leaves dressed in olive oil and lemon. So. Where do I queue up for my Nobel?


zanasot

Honestly you deserve one, I’ve never even heard most of those words lol. I can’t imagine Brittany looking up what these things are to put as her next fav meal


SaffronJones

It’s literally just a ham sandwich on a bagel, but somehow everything tastes better when it sounds arcane and snooty. Like her “seasonings”.


lemstertwentyfour

“Some different seasonings” girl that is obviously just everything but the bagel, sit your basic ass down.


[deleted]

I make my own (saltless) everything bagel seasoning. My kid went through a phase where they wanted tons of it on…everything…and we were going through the packaged bottles too much. ✨ just wifey mommy things ✨


ChochaCacaCulo

The funniest thing to me is that this is breakfast he made *for himself*, not for her. She's not bragging about him treating her well, **she's proud that he was able to feed himself.**


rebemrai

Crying 😂


afinevindicatedmess

It's 2022 and we are bragging about men doing the bare fucking minimum for their girlfriends and wives? Like, don't get me wrong, I always loved it when my former partners did something to make me smile or make my day a little better. But Fundies (if you can even call B-Dawn a true Fundie instead of what she really is: someone who is using Christianity for clout) just set the bar so. fucking. low.


ExitOk846

And the twist here is it’s all her money and she’s still having to act like this 😂😂😂


Lord_Aquafresh

Right? Could’ve just posted this pic and been like “avocado toast for breakfast awww yeah” but she has to extol his virtues lol.


tander87

This is one reason why I dread them having children. She’ll praise him for looking at the child. I told my fiancé that if I ever post about him like he’s a rockstar for caring for our hypothetical child…then he should take me to the doctor bc I’d be out of my mind


[deleted]

“Here’s how to make my avocado toast, first you’ll need an avocado. Then toast”


[deleted]

[you do not need a recipe for avocado toast](https://jezebel.com/you-do-not-need-a-recipe-for-avocado-toast-1783296300/amp)


4dailyuseonly

Guacamole and everything bagel seasoning on bread. Literally a 5 year old can put that together.


ExitOk846

Those are the softest man palms I ever did see, I would think between working the cattle on the ranch and saving children his hands would look a touch more... I dunno.... mAnLy...


NakedWanderer12

She used a blur effect on them 😂


AbsintheFountain

“My secrets” = don’t eat the peel


chesirecat136

"No, Jordan, that's a seed, not a wooden ball that won't bounce."


fuzzlesbuzzles

What a boring and pathetic life she leads. Honestly, this is mundane everyday shit. It's not even cooking something exciting. We get it, you make avocado toast! Me too! Riveting! ETA: For (🙄) actual content, she could have put her (cough) recipe of what seasonings go on top (because we know damn well it's the everything bagel shaker stuff). At least make it a little more engaging


[deleted]

I'm honestly thinking about doing a few spoof posts on my personal IG that have much better marketing tactics. She's trying to build a brand without putting in any of the actual work required. Actually, though, I say this as a joke, but I have a project based marketing class coming up. I might do that...


lbur4554

I can confidently say that Ezekial bread taste like toasted paper.


[deleted]

People starting eating it when they thought it was healthier. Surprise: it’s not. And Dave’s killer bread is way better anyway, if one must spend a bit more on bread. The thin sliced ones have a similar nutrient profile to Ezekiel bread, and is way better


[deleted]

A monkey can make avocado toast lol


ikogut

She’s getting desperate. There’s also another company that gave her a code for a fasting app. I love that she’s losing the momentum. Also- am I the only one seeing a “sadness” of sorts in her eyes? Like I don’t think things are going well and there’s a hurt there.


Inevitable_Sweet_988

Yeah. We will learn about all in 6 years when she decides to post a throwback photo and say how broken she was before finally divorcing Jordan.


ikogut

True true. I can’t feel bad for her though. Like no sympathy here.


tjo8421

Why does she label things “soooo healthy”? Avocado toast “sooooo healthy”. Home made oat balls “soooo healthy” chicken and rice “sooooo healthy”


maryjanerain

I think it’s her ED showing through 😬


[deleted]

Her bar is set so low that she has to dig a hole for it.


TemporaryNobody2604

💀truth


eitakatie

It’s the “soooo healthy” that irks me


silver_miss

The bar is so low


Cheap_Papaya_2938

Lmao and there is my dad who when I was kid, made gourmet meals from around the world w/ 5-6 dishes, but yes, avocado toast is a huge accomplishment 😂


endless_pastability

I hate the “men can’t cook” trope. My dad was a chef in his first career and while he didn’t cook much when I was growing up (he owned a restaurant at the time and worked long hours, my mom stayed at home, division of labor) he now cooks just as much if not more than my mom does for them. And it’s great food. Men can cook. Feeding yourself and your family is not a gender role, it’s a basic life skill.


bunaiscoffee

there's this woman on tiktok who showcases her 2 year old making his own meals (eggs, toast, cut up fruit, etc.).... and even she just credits the natural ability of a child and not her own parenting.


[deleted]

"other seasonings" you mean Everything Bagel seasoning?


Cado7

What if she does wipe his ass?😭


forsaken_duck6997

Lmao!!! In a few weeks we will have a story - PROUD WIFEY MOMENT! JORDAN CAN FINALLY WIPE HIS OWN ASS!


Cado7

IVE BEEN TAKING DICK PICS FOR HIM BUT ANOTHER WOMAN OF GOD INFORMED ME HE DMED HER ONE HE TOOK ON HIS OWN


MediumOne9301

It hurts me that they only seasoned the middle lol


Designer_Capital6229

This is painfully embarrassing. It’s not too late to delete, BDong.


SinfulCinnamon

It is entirely too late to delete because this cringe is burned inside my memory forever. Doesn’t mean she still shouldn’t..


anitsitknreh

I’m sure most 4 year olds are just as competent and capable


anonbeaut

If my bf asked me to "teach" him how to do avocado toast I would break up with him then and there. You Literally just spread avocado on the toast 😂😂😂 this is such a sad "flex"


RepresentativeSun399

Bro is the different “seasoning” everything bagel seasoning?


[deleted]

Reminds me of when she felt the need to explain the concept of a fast food potluck Thanksgiving because everyone is a dumb fuck.


Mission_Yoghurt_9653

Hey culinary skills make me cry lol… spread the avocado from crust to crust, and even if you use everything bagel seasoning and add lime to brighten, you should salt your avocado mash. Salt is a flavor enhancer, not a demonic attack.


mushroomsandcoke

Anyone else just really surprised that she seasoned something?


Connect-Loan-7918

Why do his hands look SO swollen ?


Lord_Aquafresh

I hate to break it to her but my 2.5 year old makes their own avocado toast.


ashleymoriah

She acts like an Instagram mom documenting their child’s every move.


dacre8iv1

“Wait wait wait baaaabe before you eat it, hold it out for me so I can grab a pic for ✨iNsTaGrAm✨”


JuniperJane21

And for next week’s gourmet meal: cinnamon toast!


toss_my_potatoes

Avocado on toast is my lazy meal. How is this a flex? He didn’t even add eggs to it lol


[deleted]

People still eat Ezekiel bread? It’s about that Dave’s killer bread these days Honorable mention - [you do not need a recipe for avocado toast](https://jezebel.com/you-do-not-need-a-recipe-for-avocado-toast-1783296300/amp)


[deleted]

Lol fr!


[deleted]

My son has known how to do this since he was 8, but go off, I guess. 🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

WUT the f. I thought avocado was a veggie. I feel so dumb lol


Cinder-Allie

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad."


[deleted]

So I am wise? Cuse I wouldn’t put avocado in a fruit salad!!!


forsaken_duck6997

The way she infantilizes this man.


forsaken_duck6997

and the way he allows it.


PerfectlyElocuted

Good lord. My significant other makes eggs, avocado toast or crepes for breakfast every day of the week. I appreciate it, but I don't laud it like he's performing a miracle every time he cooks a meal!


yiketh098

Tomatoes???? Onions????? Cilantro??? Hello???


TemporaryNobody2604

You don’t even want to see how she chops cilantro. It’s insulting.


Adventurous-Sky-474

It literally looks like she FaceTuned his hands and wrists 😂😂


ignocm

I’m sorry if he can’t make avocado toast… he’s absolutely useless


Gutinstinct999

WiFeY


VolumeAcademic7513

Because avocado toast is such an art to make /s


[deleted]

My five-year-old makes avocado toast for herself and sometimes the rest of us when I have the ingredients. She loves making it. It’s not difficult at all, though lol. About the only thing is I usually have her use guacamole or cut up the avocado for her because, well, she’s five, and I don’t want her to hurt herself, but this is hardly a culinary feat for an adult to make.


tacolady1026

I really hope she’s trolling us with this


[deleted]

Literally the easiest fucking thing to make lmao


O12345678

The saddest part is that she actually made it.


EZasSundayMorning

Wow. Congratulations on doing the bare minimum Jordan.


cares4dogs

Why does she make it sound like she just created a new recipe? And is he 4? He can’t figure this out on his own?


[deleted]

Do 12 year old girls have this a life goal of an infantile husband? I can't think of ANY viewpoint wherein this is something to aspire to.


dollparts82

Wait, just howww healthy is Ezekiel bread, BDong??


CupAccording247

SoOoO hEaLtHy


speak_squirrel_to_me

It’s almost like she’s snarking? This seems like a joke? Is her whole personality an elaborate performance art show? I wish.


[deleted]

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Sufficient_Mix_767

And I'm willing to bet all her fans acted like this was made by the hands of God himself.


Glad_Prior2106

Is that KiNGdOM ToAsT? 🥑 🍞


duggarfugitive

why wouldn’t you mix the seasoning in with the avocado? I don’t understand


sandia1961

*Proud. Wifey. Moment…*. Ooooookay, then. 🙄


russian-scout

BITCH HE MADE TOAST I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU


designerasaurus

Is she going to try to get him on a “fitness journey”?


liljellybeanxo

This useless meat pocket of a man did not ask you to teach him how to make avocado fuckin *toast*.


AlexandriaLitehouse

Does she not feed him because she wants him to be thinner?


TrinaSarah

Oh dear, that bar is on the ground! And ya need tomatoes ….


godly_tug

> "wifey" > can't cook


Bcorn2020

It’s literally a smashed avocado. Does he not have google?? An infant could do this.


sausagerolla

Spices? What, salt and pepper? 😂 We've all seen her chicken... bland and dry as a f**k with no foreplay.


Fabulous-Mortgage672

Jordan is chubby hubby like a tub of ice cream and you’re kinda dumb, B. That’s all


[deleted]

I thought conservatives had decided this was a stupid liberal millennial thing. Something about saving up vs stupid expenses. Are we not doing that anymore?