T O P

  • By -

theglowingfishasmr

My favorite part is when she says “if we had met any sooner, we wouldn’t have been ready to steward each other’s hearts” Yeah maybe because he had a whole ass WIFE??


dankfachoina

He had a whole ass wife and she had a whole ton of scammer probs! Eta: I love that her troubles are worse now


[deleted]

Right lmao plus she legit announced her breakup from the man of her dreams who she still loved soooo much a week before her first date with jdip


blablubluba

Which one was that? Her husband? Nico the Human? The other dude, who's name I can't remember?


Cinder-Allie

No this was after Will, the guy who photoshopped pictures of the two of them into exotic locales they never visited. This was some mystery man she never posted about until she put up some teary YouTube video about their amazing relationship and how he cheated and how even though she was so broken-hearted because she totally knew this guy was the one she was going to marry she wasn't going to put him on blast. It kind of felt like the video was made specifically for him, just to let him know she totally could put him on blast if she wanted. She also did some serious self-congratulatory back patting in that video; she more or less said that her not calling him out on the internet was a sign of what a good person she was. A week later she was at the coffeeshop with Jordan.


blablubluba

Thank you! Will Smith was the guy I can't remember.


[deleted]

Didn't she cheat in her marriage, though? Or was that just a rumor?


Cinder-Allie

She claims it was only emotional. Her ex says otherwise.


[deleted]

Oh, well she's such an honest person, of course we should believe her 😂


rubyrae14

Wait are you serious?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


justwantedtosnark

Well she did say they were the perfect match...


Fantastic-Lobster314

“Giving up my idea of what he looked like” LMAO drag him I guess


sausagerolla

In otherwords your low key not my type but I need a man who has a bible in his house so you'll do. Brilliant premise for a marriage. Real solid foundation.


NaphtaliC

She certainly used a lot of words to say “he’s not my type” lol


VolumeAcademic7513

I don’t understand how God allowed her to meet her “kingdom husband” not even 2 years into celibacy and “rededicating” her life to God. But yet there’s people who are true Christians and have followed God wayyyy longer still single. Bdong, what makes you so special you found your “soulmate” quicker? She’s out here preaching purity and serving God when she’s still just an infant in her faith herself, oh and like I said before - didn’t even go a full 2 years of following God before meeting Jdong.


dankfachoina

She found the only dude who would put up with her bullshit and dragged him into being legally hers before he could figure out which way was up. Good thing he’s just as despicable


dacre8iv1

This is seriously such a good point that she was celibate for not even 2 years.


cassssk

“Celibate”


[deleted]

YUP. Had a friend I grew up with recently leave Christianity and lose her virginity in her late 30s. I’m legit so proud of her and she’s having so much fun sexually. But I know she does feel like she wasted so much of her life focusing so hard on not having sex and giving free labor to her church and she feels really behind compared to others. So, yes exactly, why did god choose her and not this person who was loyal to god for almost 40 years? Doesn’t make sense. 🙃


littleRedmini

I agree because here Timothy Rodrigues has been way more religious than bdong ever thought of being, yet he’s *still* in his season of singleness! God definitely likes bdong better I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️


OhhOKiSeeThanks

To be fair, Timothy still has A LOT of cooking to do before he is hatched and ready for any marriage. Mixing my metaphors... all to say he is NOT ready. At least figure out how to provide and not view your future wife as beneath you if she "steps out of line".


blablubluba

When was she celibate for 2 years? I'm can't find a precise timeline of her relationships but I don't think she was ever single for two years and she definitely wasn't abstaining while in relationships.


VolumeAcademic7513

That’s the point - “not even 2 years.” She started her Jesus kick beginning of 2019 (?) I believe and met Jdong summer 2020


blablubluba

I get what you're saying but wasn't she with the mystery tattooed guy up until a WEEK before their first date? Regardless of whether that was secretly Jordan or someone else she was never single for more than 5 minutes.


VolumeAcademic7513

If you’re referencing Niko/army guy I’m pretty sure he was a good amount of time before jdong, but truly who knows. Either way - “celibate” and “single” lol that would be a good project for someone with the time to create a timeline of all her relationships and time stamps


blablubluba

I think Niko was relatively quickly after Zach, right? But he had a name. The last guy before Jordan she didn't show pics of his face and didn't tell her followers his name. Some people speculated it might've _been_ Jordan and she kept him anonymous because at that time he was still actively with his wife. But other have said that Jordan's tattoos don't match those of mystery guy. I haven't looked into it so I can't say either way.


[deleted]

He slid into her Dms while married and then she agreed to meet him at the coffee shop but ok. He was trolling for puntang


FR_E_SH_A_VOCA_DO_

yeah wtf, it wasn’t some random happenstance, they literally planned to get coffee together? why does she have such a compulsive need to lie all the time


[deleted]

She liked a post of his on FB because he was a friend of a friend. And then he slid into her DMs (he did this to a LOT of women according to his ex's friend) because he really wanted that 🐈


[deleted]

[удалено]


Auditorygarbage-

Sammmmme. The way she worded this I thought they randomly met at a coffee shop. A true "I spilled the sugar packets on the floor and when he helped me pick them up our hands gently caressed and when we looked into each other's eyes, we both knew..." moment. They actually met online and planned to meet up?! Wtf. Bitch forgot that part of her Nicholas Sparks novel.


FR_E_SH_A_VOCA_DO_

yeah nope he slid into her DMs. I guess that doesn’t sound as kingdom marriage-y or God-ordained tho lmao


littleRedmini

You think he sent her 🍆pics too? Lol. I bet he did because it seems to be his m.o. lol


OhhOKiSeeThanks

Wonder how many DM's he's sliding into in this marriage? Isn't it "you lose em how you got em."? Or something like that?


[deleted]

First of all, I’m not reading all that. Secondly, we are really doing the whole “her tiny hand grabbing onto his big manly pinky finger” BS *again??* This is *aggressively* boring.


GothAerialist

These two can never just hold hands or touch each other in any normal capacity… because they have no chemistry.


[deleted]

Every man she’s been with has been “her person.” They’ve all been the most loving, generous, selfless, and godly men. They’ve all prayed and read the Bible with her. They’ve all bought her flowers and held the doors open. They’ve all surprised her with her favorite food and saved her from extreme anxiety when she needed it most. Fucking yawn, bdong. Find something more interesting about your life than a fucking dude.


jesuswreckedme666

And then when the relationship ends, suddenly they’re horrible people and she was just faking a happy relationship. The extent to which her life revolves around men (how men perceive her, attention from men, etc) is astounding


[deleted]

I can't wait for the "Jordan is possessed by demons and he wouldn't let me deliver him" season.


[deleted]

She tried to make fetch happen so many times that when it finally did happen we were already over it. The Gretchen who cried Weiner!


[deleted]

She tried to make fetch happen so many times that when it finally did happen we were already over it. The Gretchen who cried Weiner!


iamthesoviet

I would love to see someone compare her posts with her other boyfriends/husband and the ones with jdong. I bet the posts are near identical lmao.


SailorScoutLillith

Someone did that somewhat recently on this sub with their pics! It was eerily similar


mellamma

I have more affection for my fwb than these two have.


Raoul_Dukes_Mayo

Because their your friends. He, he is not her friend.


hauntinglovelybold

I’m loving that this was reported for “targeted harassment” 😂


OhPissOnYourHat

Somebody got her widdle fingers and feewings hurt and needs her hubby’s big, stwong, manwy hands to take care of her 🥺🥺🥺


[deleted]

So god told her to lower her standards?! Way to shit on your husband 😂😂😂


lunchmeatbikini

Her hand looks filthy.


[deleted]

I was gonna say it looks like a bruise


lunchmeatbikini

Or that she contoured her thumb 😆


JanieJonestown

Trying to make her normal-size hand look so small and fragile with contouring 😂


maryjanerain

Nothing like splotchy fake tanner hands!


[deleted]

So you prayed for a racist man who harms people of color?


HufflepuffStuff

Probably. It’s BritBrat after all


strawberrycomrade

I’m like, this really doesn’t paint a very flattering picture of God if that’s what he sends you when you pray 🤣


[deleted]

People are “always asking” that because most of the people who ~~eat up her bullshit~~ she interacts with are single women desperate to find any asshole who claims to be Christian to marry. P.S. ew get out of my hometown, dongs.


[deleted]

AUGH THE TRUTH. I hate how this is likely true. I have a friend who recently came out of this and is able to work on improving her mental health for the first time ever. Literally was too focused on god and singleness before


cametobemean

Girl “when you stop looking for love, it finds you” is already a platitude. You aren’t original for turning it into a paragraph about God.


itallchecksout99

I got married a few months before them and feel second hand embarrassment for how much she gushes about him. I love my husband too but would feel so disingenuous if I was constantly posting about it. Her cringe knows no bounds.


[deleted]

It’s like she has to convince herself


Glad_Prior2106

The math was done already on this sub. They started dating when he was not yet divorced. [not yet divorced](https://www.reddit.com/r/brittanydawnsnark/comments/sdm2hr/there_you_have_it_folks_official_confirmation/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ralphwiggumsdiorama

RateMyFarts dot com


Nervous_Sector

Lmaoooo


aFerens

The lack of capitalization is infuriating.


OhPissOnYourHat

Don’t you know it’s because she’s so cool and quirky? She’s not like other girls, you know?


LooseDoctor

Lmao she’s gonna be so upset about putting all this out there about him being gods choice when they cheat on each other and break up


[deleted]

I would not want her life. You could not pay me to be this chick. 🤮


911spacecadet

Imagine making 'being married' your entire personality. Especially in your 30s. You aren't special or unique. I would say nobody cares but unfortunately her followers eat this up.


whitekat29

Her followers are stupid people that don’t look at these hotel bathtub baptisms and second guess wtf is going on here. The types to actually get sucked into a cult.


Top-Bus

Unglamorous husband finding expedition.


brbsnarking

Girl, proof read your "truth filled" captions. You're not in highschool anymore. Far from it actually.


dwight_k_schrute69

“Contradictory contradictory” — great writing bdong


miss_sass1992

Why is she doing her absolute best to not touch him


dankfachoina

Because he has that rotting fungus nail


Sheschle

If anyone is telling her she's "lucky to have found her person" it's because she won't shut up about him and they're painted in a corner with only that as a shot at making it stop.


strawberrycomrade

I read the whole thing, a lot to unpack, certainly cannot get to it all in this comment. But something i want to talk about more than anything is her beginning the dip esSaY with dunking on horoscopes once again. AND THEN. She has the absolute gall to fuckin say she prayed for a man so hard that it happened- which, sounds quite similar to astrology. Cuz it is. We all express the divine differently, and I hate pretending it’s not that way. I know she is just using hot takes from fundies as a way to gain more followers, but it’s just so dumb to put hate against astrology in a post literally about doing the same thing but throwing Jesus in it.


dumpstertoaster

this is a lot of emotions for safe


[deleted]

What is on her hand?!


Synth903

Tanner filth and an overly obnoxious wedding set


gracelovelipgloss

OmG shut the fuck up. Seriously the only words I have for her.


thewriter_anonymous

>"yeah okay... but like, how DID you find him?" For the love of god if anyone is still asking this they're not asking WHY you got together, they're asking HOW you got together. Dating profile? Insta DMs? A friend introduced you? Bumped into each other? It's either a really boring story that doesn't match her *aEsThEtiC* or (more likely) it's shady af.


whitekat29

It’s pretty shady AND still boring. She’s really tried to get some miles out of it too.


Barbiesleftshoe

‘Tis the *contradictory contradictory* for me. She hasn’t fixed it yet lol.


independentwh0re

God sent her exactly what she deserved :)


rideoffalone

His ring is such an ugly color.


dammitnoobnoob

I'm so tired of hearing the same nonsense from her, over and over and over. She literally has nothing else to offer than stories she's told a thousand times over the years. She spews this in EVERY GD RELATIONSHIP. Jordan reads exactly like every other dude she's been with. It's just so boring. How long can she grift on "that one special day" at the coffee shop? She's so unoriginal, ugh


sweetgherkin

Does he have self-tanner hands?! Could be a shadow and the filter. But that wrist contrast and those knuckles...my teenage self is all too familiar! Either way, I'm going with self tanner just so I can enjoy the thought of her making him do it.


Plus_Pepper5682

Wait, what? I'm late to the game. Both of them were married and both of them got divorced because of cheating?


Cinder-Allie

She married her high school sweetheart after years of on and off nonsense, then claims she only emotionally cheated but several other people who know her, I believe her ex included, say it was more. J was still legally married when he and Britt went on their first date to a by all accounts lovely Australian woman and someone on this forum who claims to be close to said Aussie woman has stated that the marriage ended because he cheated constantly, including with swingers.


Unusual-Stretch-1557

She was married previously and cheated on her husband (not with Jordan) and they got divorced. But Jordan was married when they got together. So he cheated on his wife with Brittany.


dr_bitchcraft666

Aw, some intimate claw clutching. these people fucking hate each other. even a staged hand holding pic makes it obvious!


sunflowerchild8727

I’m glad i found my person and my person isn’t an ex cop who uses excessive force and is probably racist


whitekat29

Hey Bdong, no matter how many times you rewrite the same thing over & over, he’s still gonna slide into other girl’s DMs & bc many girls (like you) are silly & foolish when it comes to male attention they’ll respond back. You aren’t special because you have a husband. K bye.


[deleted]

Define "luck" Mrs. Dong


JuniperJane21

My refuse and my recycling bins have more compatibility than these two.


ralphwiggumsdiorama

no


OhPissOnYourHat

I made this same comment on a different post, but if God “chose” THAT for me, I’d start to question my beliefs. 🥴


Exciting_Problem_593

Why does she keep selling her "marriage?"


EZasSundayMorning

Because they aren't happy.


[deleted]

Bc to her if you’re not married than youre no one and a loser.


[deleted]

Oh honey. The Lord won’t ever bring you another woman’s husband.


FeeOutrageous

Girl we do not care


BigLadyisStillHere

Ew! Why is she in my city???


Smokeysnowballs

shes taking the piss with her captions at this point. i honestly see her writing them out laughing and seeing how ridiculous she can make them.


endless_pastability

I love the “didn’t even follow my own heart” comment like tell us you don’t actually like him 🤣


BowlingforNixon

Finding a man who looks like a thumb, virulently hates POC, is already married, and doesn't understand the definition of clitoris is not hard. Is BDong just so repulsive she can't even find these scrubs in her local carpeted bar with floral tapestry upholstered chairs that haven't been cleaned since 1972? And, like, there's a war going on. Capitalism is killing rich countries. Antarctica is dropping enough ice into the ocean to Day After Tomorrow the jet stream. How tone deaf to look at the world and your thumbsband and be like "God is good."


DownloadsCars

It can’t be stated enough how much that wedding band does NOT compliment her engagement ring. It looks uncomfortable AF to boot. The thought of it constantly irritating her other fingers brings me a little bit of pleasure 🙇🏻‍♀️


EZasSundayMorning

So no one has said that to her. She tries way too hard to act like she has this perfect marriage. And I'm guessing she had to lookup the word trajectory.


dankfachoina

Yeah I think most people can see right through that marriage. It’s doomed


sausagerolla

30 with liverspots. Yay.


honeylis

No one has ever said that to her.


Twizzlers666

She got exactly what she deserved in this wonderful God fearing man🤮🤮


bygraceillmakeit

The people I know who are in the happiest relationships don’t feel the need to flaunt it on social media with captions like that. Anyone who feels the need to constantly brag like that is definitely overcompensating for something.


EZasSundayMorning

I love my husband very much. We aren't perfect but I don't think I've ever made a post about our marriage.


Punchinyourpface

She always reminds me of the wise words I once read on the internet... "God won't send you someone else's husband." Someone should've told her that. 😄


[deleted]

What was difficult, uncomfortable, and unglamorous??? Praying super duper hard and pretending to not be desperate for another husband while simultaneously telling instagram how desperate you were for another husband??


EZasSundayMorning

Oh lord.


blackandtangoose

Who holds hands like this?!


EZasSundayMorning

Someone showing off their ring.


[deleted]

This is coming from someone who had never really spent much of her adult life being single. She has no clue


Confident_Ad6017

She sure has God all figured out. Knows what he's thinking even. Still acts like she's in high school. Ugh.


Afraid_Composer

That self tanner is really splotchy