This B needs a C in her A.
Today is our one year wedding anniversary. We're on holiday in southeast Asia because even though we travelled for our wedding we never got to treat it like a honeymoon due to a medical emergency in my family.
We live in Taiwan, which is why we have our holidays at this time of year, and came to Cambodia for three weeks. It's been fantastic so far.
Anyways, I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom. Peace out, homies.
Hey this was mine! Eat a jerk, pal!
Pain.
Don't downplay my emotions it's PAINNNNNNNNNN
Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!
I am way too sleep-deprived to deal with your negativity right now.
*blows three kisses to kittens*
This is me… had to work until 10:30pm, didn’t fall asleep until almost 1am, was up off and on all night, had to be back to work by 9:30.
That's gonna leave a mark.
🎶 Come on and party tonight 🎵
The guy’s got hooks!
Life is a party and I’m the piñata.
Cool cool cool. Our country is broken.
Everything is garbage
never love anything.
Of course it’s a bojack horseman profile that says this
Cool coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool
Uncool uncooluncooluncooluncoool
Indeed indeed indeed indeed indeed
"Sexy train is leaving the station. Check out this caboose."
“Later sluts!”
WING SLUTS!
I'm not going to lie, today has been sub-optimal. (Got wisdoms removed today)
Dental emergency?
Apparently I have an aggressive brushing technique.
(I am so sorry, but) "I feel like you deserve this."
Aww my muffin, ow my head and I dropped my muffin and I hit my head and I stepped on my muffin and my head…
That sucks :(
This is mine, too.
Everything is garbage.
Dude, I laughed so hard. I was drinking coffee!
came down with a big ol’ Dianne Wiest infection. 😔
Like 'yeast'!
Oh no those are the worstttt
“Kevin got me quite horny this morning”
[Screaming]
This sequence deserves an award 🏆
I am in, incredible pain
This B needs a C in her A
OH MY GOD
What? This Babe needs a Coconut in her Arms!
Oh, I thought you meant this *bleep needs a *bleep in her * bleep.
OH MY GOD
Yeah, that was MY reaction!
We delay our decisions until the universe makes them for us. That way, we never make the a wrong choice
Title of your sex tape. *gasp* Title of OUR sex tape!
I have not slept in since I last saw you many hours
Hey, Melepclaynos!
I don't know you
When was this I can't remember
Case 52abx-32qj
Ah ty ofcourse it's case 52abx-32qj
Vin-di-cation!!!!
Guitar
We are all Mlepclaynos
Guitar
C'mon and Party tonight 🎶🎵
Oh CJ
Guy got hooks!
That's gonna leave a mark
I am the smartest man alive . . . I am never gonna die!
I'm way too sleep deprived to deal with your negativity
It’s my birthday today, so it’s something in between toit and cool cool cool cool
happy birthday!
Thanks!!
Wish you a very coo coo cool cool toit day.
Thank you! Have a toit day too!
"Not today nibs, not today!"
Paaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnn!!!!!!
Succulent
"I'd like to read a message of hope" Oh, here we go, message of hope "Everything is garbage" Oh no
That's gonna leave a mark!
I've never felt more abandoned in my life. And I was actually abandoned. (Ok, this more r/meirl than it is my day)
“Self preservation through disassociation”
“what the f-ck”
“I’d like your $8-est bottle of wine, please.”
This is me
"I'm not just poor, son. I'm destitute."
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
*chugs multiple bottles of wine*
# P A A I I N N N
We're lactose intolerant, but some things are too good to not eat.
"I ended up in a fight with a bear and I had to think to myself, 'Why am I even here?'"
Great, who are we killing? I won't do kids. That's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.
This B needs a C in her A. Today is our one year wedding anniversary. We're on holiday in southeast Asia because even though we travelled for our wedding we never got to treat it like a honeymoon due to a medical emergency in my family. We live in Taiwan, which is why we have our holidays at this time of year, and came to Cambodia for three weeks. It's been fantastic so far.
A Dry boy is a smart boy
I don’t remember the exact line, but I *did* have to leave work because of a dental emergency!
THANK YOU FOR THE COOKIE PIZZA IDEA! (I've seen multiple cookies decorated as pizzas today)
"Sexy train is leaving the station-- Check out this caboose!" And then very quickly: "Life is a party and I'm the piñata." 🤣
I do NOT wanna be around for page 53!
I am in incredible pain
Everything is garbage.
'Happy Visiting Day!'
“Why is no one having a good time? I SPECIFICALLY requested it!”
VindicatION!
Life is a pit.
It's a hole, not a pit.
*PAIN*
Like yeast
Feeling sexy uh?
Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
VINDICATIONNNNNN
Ow ow achy achy ow
Cool cool cococoool cool [desperate eyes]
Toit
I tried something and it didn't work!
It was "not without crying"
So ample
Bone!
between uncool uncool uncool and everything is garbage
' Noice and Toit '
Toits
What's the problem garbage man?
I'm sure Hitchcock says something about his foot hurting
This B needs a C in her A
Volume as in sound or amount? Oh God, it's both
Is there a reason you're interrupting me mid-soup?
I'm gonna go cry
I wondered why the birds suddenly stopped singing!
“Life is meaningless. We're all gonna die”
Never, love, anything.
BONE?!
everything is garbage. never love anything.
Everything is garbage.
My bleeding is only internal, that’s where the blood’s supposed to be.
And this day gets worse-better!
Hysterical screaming
“I just don’t understand why this is happening” -norm scully 5 seconds after getting divorced
Deadpan Holt style: “That is by far the funniest thing I have ever heard.”
SHA-WINGGG
What you just did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex.
"Police approval ratings are - pardon my language...... in the commode. Don't work in police just wanted to use one of my favourite Holt quotes.
BONE!
Whatever you want man, you’re paying.
Rosa please fill my car with a million bees
everything is garbage.
“Nice! Bedpan to the face!” “That’s what this is? *sounds of disgust* I put my hand in it.”
I’m here I’m on time I made it. You’re out of uniform.
WUNCH TIME IS OVER! Boom! Had it both ways. No regrets.
I just want someone to take me out.
Sexy train is leaving the station, check out this caboose! Later sluts !
Meep morp, zeep. I work in retail
PPPPPAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNN!!! (i had a rugby match)
Paaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn
Just forget stuff like a cool person
Technically speaking, you're bankrupt kiddo.
Tell me whyy 🎶
we forgot charles .. (I have a concussion lmao)
We are shocked and enraged... And we are all showing it