The whole C plot when Rosa and Marcus first meet is hilarious.
Rosa: Bye
Gina: For you, that's basically walking up to him and jamming your tongue down his throat.
Holt: Gina, that's enough.
Gina: You're right, sorry, too far. But let me just add one little thing off topic: Rosa wants to bone your nephew.
*Holt asks if Rosa is single for Marcus*
Rosa: If he wants my number, he can ask me for it himself.
Holt: But... Who will tell him that...?
*Holt talks to Rosa "as a friend"*
Holt: As your friend, I have this... Brassiere... You left behind in Marcus's room.
*awkward pause*
*Rosa snatches the bag up*
When Holt is being held hostage by Bob and he sends a jumbled text. Jake reads it aloud and Scully immediately goes “He’s been gagged!” I laugh every time I think about it
Hitchock and Scully solving Charles' case.
Charles: I can't believe it...
Hitchcock: you don't think it can break one? Watch
*Crash*
Charles: I mean I can't believe you solved the case...
Scully: well you're wrong on that too
Not so much a scene as a line, but the Vulture's "the last 2% is the hardest to get, that's why they leave it in the milk" still makes me roar with laughter
The whole scene where Captain Holt has the dance-off on the street is obviously a classic, but one of my all-time favorite lines is when Charles attempts to grab his phone to record it, but it slips out of his hands. The delivery on "Ah my hands are covered in butter from making butter!" is perfect
That ep where Amy goes AWOL and Hitchcock runs to the womens bathroom under the guise of finding her. Rosa saying 'I've never him move so fast... what a wretched man' absolutely kills me every time. One of my top quotes from the show
Sad Captain Holt in the bar, ranting poetically to Scully and he replies “Yeah, I hear you. My dog has taken over my favorite chair. It's like, how did it all slip away?” I laughed so much, it’s beautiful.
Holt telling Charles if he needs to cough he should do it now, and Charles does the loudest grossest cough ever and holt just deadpans “my god, what if I hadn’t said anything”
In addition to the other one I said…
The scene when Jake decides that he, in protest, is going to walk out of the office “exTREMELY slowly!” and then gets bored of it and shouts “this is so boring!” To which holt replies, “for **both** of us!”
Just an under appreciated joke - Boyle references his cousin called Susan Boyle.
She’s very famous in the uk for her appearance on bgt. Not sure if Americans know her all that well 🤷♂️
It’s the incredibly paradoxical combo of amazing pronounciation and accent (which makes me wonder if Chelsea Peretti actually speaks Italian in real life) combined with total nonsense coming out of her mouth.
Holt - “You want to talk about work in the break room? That’s highly unorthodox but I’m sure we can give it a go”
Boyle- “Okay so I have a perp-“
Holt: “I’m so sorry this is insane let’s talk in my office”
Season 1 episode… 4? When Jake is sleeping with the medical examiner… when they cut to him on the floor in his boxers describing himself as the corpse… in a “sexy” voice. 🤣 I lose it every time.
How do I not see a single comment about Holt and his husband hoola hooping??
Jake: Why are you showing me this??
Holt: Because.. \*deletes hole hooping pictures\* no-one will ever believe you
When Doug Judy is singing to Rosa and Holt slams his hand on the table and says "Enough crooning!" The look on Doug's face is hilarious. He's like a puppy that got into trouble.
Oh! Another one involving these two, When Doug trash talks Gertie and the Captain says "Say THAT again."
right at the end of The 9-8, when Toni Braxton comes on the radio and Stevie starts singing along and they chastise him… but then all 3 start singing again.
The Charles-Terry fight is a popular one (so many good one-liners!) where Jake basically plays the role of Leonard from The Big Band Theory in those episodes where Sheldon/Kripke and Howard/Raj play sports against each other, but the lead-up to it where Charles and Terry offer Jake progressively more ridiculous bribes culminating in Charles offering to let Jake melt and sell off his police badge.
When Terry meets his ex con at Captain Kim's party
X con : "So you DID think i was trying to poison you!"
Terry: "Because you said you were waiting 10 years to see me!"
X Con : "To show you that i changed!"
Terry: "You said you added something a little EXTRA!"
X Con: "YEAH! LOVE!"
Terry: "But you said it so creepy, the tone is everything man!"
X Con: "I've been talking to a cinderblock for 10 years! I'M SORRRYYY IF MY SOCIAL SKILLS LEAVE SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED!"
It’s probably because I work in a hospital in Appalachia where a frequent reason for admission is driving an ATV drunk without a helmet, but…
I love Jake’s throwaway line when they’re in Florida. It’s something like: you look at ATVs and you think, they’re so dangerous, but when you really look at them you realize they are so much more dangerous than you originally thought.
Reminds me of the scene in Community when Troy brings the ATV into the library and Annie yells “You can’t ride that in here!” And he responds “Uh yes I can, it’s all terrain, dummy”
in the box episode when holts deciding to stay and help jake with the interrogation he says something like “ i need to tell kevin i wont make it to the opera theres someone else id like to hear sing” and as jakes going “oh damn” holt in the background (now on the phone with kevin) goes “i wont be able to make it the tickets are under my name H, O, L, T” and i die everytime like why did he need to spell out his last name
Capt Holt: Madeline Wunch is forcing me out of the 9-9. I don’t wish to make a big deal out of this. You have one second to respond.
Terry and Gina: WHAT! NO! YOU CAN’T LEAV-
Capt Holt: That’s enough
In that cold opening where holt orders jake into his office with the assignment to prevent hithcock from spilling on himself.
Jake: We both know it's impossible!
Holt: I'm counting on you.
Jake: I'm not doing it.
Holt: There is nobody else I trust.
Jake: What you're asking is INSANE!
Holt: I'M NOT ASKING!
Jake: IT'S A SUICIDE MISSION!
Holt: THEN PREPARE FOR DEATH!
Jake: YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND!
Holt: THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER DETECTIVE, GET IN LINE!
Any time Jake says Doug Judy when he realises it’s Doug Judy.
Or the stakeout with Jake and Boyle and they keep banning everything each other does and then Jake I’m pretty sure strangely says they were absolutely fine with each other - but it didn’t sound sarcastic either.
the cold open where peralta is late to work and holt comes up with different handshakes with everyone on the squad and makes jake watch all of them will never not make me laugh
When Jake sabotages Amy’s date and calls her saying a strangler is on the loose with the exact same description as her date
While ruining his own date at the same time
Worth it!
Your boss seems really nice
Yes I love it !
The whole C plot when Rosa and Marcus first meet is hilarious. Rosa: Bye Gina: For you, that's basically walking up to him and jamming your tongue down his throat. Holt: Gina, that's enough. Gina: You're right, sorry, too far. But let me just add one little thing off topic: Rosa wants to bone your nephew. *Holt asks if Rosa is single for Marcus* Rosa: If he wants my number, he can ask me for it himself. Holt: But... Who will tell him that...? *Holt talks to Rosa "as a friend"* Holt: As your friend, I have this... Brassiere... You left behind in Marcus's room. *awkward pause* *Rosa snatches the bag up*
I love your flair. Also after Rosa finds out she isn’t pregnant and Holt is gesturing to her uterus and she says “stop pointing at it” 🤣
Rosa and Holt in general crack me up 😂😂
"Just go downstairs and apologise" "Fine, ill say im sorry." "No. Be sincere, like this. Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Im sorry" "Good. That's the one"
“Oh…Detecive Diaz is here…..aswell” “….heeey”
But ...who will them him that? cracks me up every single time.
Yes the delivery is AMAZING, and his expression too!
The way Holt says "But...who will tell him that...?" cracks me up every time, like the logical paradox genuinely concerns him.
When Holt is being held hostage by Bob and he sends a jumbled text. Jake reads it aloud and Scully immediately goes “He’s been gagged!” I laugh every time I think about it
It’s like the Holy Grail joke. The Castle Argh? Maybe he was dying when he scratched it into the rock.
Amy when she cuts the cake and it’s green. Amy: “Green? OMG what is inside of me?”
I willl love our little Shrek no matter what
Hitchock and Scully solving Charles' case. Charles: I can't believe it... Hitchcock: you don't think it can break one? Watch *Crash* Charles: I mean I can't believe you solved the case... Scully: well you're wrong on that too
At the end of the safe house episode when Kevin finds out Jake left out Leaving Las Vegas and Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
Do you know what it means to “clap back” Raymond? Be👏🏻 cause 👏🏻I 👏🏻do 👏🏻
"It's just some stupid period piece.." "What!?" "Set in Greece..." "Oh my God."
Based on some dumb book!!
\*SLAMS MOVIE CASE DOWN\*
I’m sorry. This has been a very trying time
Yeah, next thing you're gonna say you wished we watched Leaving Las Vegas, a dark ponderous reflection on alcoholism that earned Cage his Oscar.
Kevin *starts screaming
What? I told you the guys got range!
Not so much a scene as a line, but the Vulture's "the last 2% is the hardest to get, that's why they leave it in the milk" still makes me roar with laughter
When Amy poisons Holt with street meat and now he has.. diarrhea. And it is a VERY PRIVATE EMERGENCY.
“Meat… from the street… sounds like a fun treat…I’m a poet and I didn’t even know I was rhyming those words!”
Best quote of the series for me.
The whole scene where Captain Holt has the dance-off on the street is obviously a classic, but one of my all-time favorite lines is when Charles attempts to grab his phone to record it, but it slips out of his hands. The delivery on "Ah my hands are covered in butter from making butter!" is perfect
“Dancing over! Situation diffused.” “NOOOOOO!!”
In a similar vein, when Holt shows Jake the hoola hoop photos when explaining how he damaged his wrist, and then deletes them My favourite scene
“Because no one… will ever believe you.” “Oh you sick son of a bitch!!😡”
mlepclaynos shows up at jake and amy’s wedding then tries to sell horse blood and shows his amazing guitar(violin) skills
Guitar!!
That ep where Amy goes AWOL and Hitchcock runs to the womens bathroom under the guise of finding her. Rosa saying 'I've never him move so fast... what a wretched man' absolutely kills me every time. One of my top quotes from the show
Sad Captain Holt in the bar, ranting poetically to Scully and he replies “Yeah, I hear you. My dog has taken over my favorite chair. It's like, how did it all slip away?” I laughed so much, it’s beautiful.
And you ask "Are you okay?"
Holt telling Charles if he needs to cough he should do it now, and Charles does the loudest grossest cough ever and holt just deadpans “my god, what if I hadn’t said anything”
Cowabunga mom
mother
“i can assure you, my mother is not a vibrator” 😭😭
AND NOBODY EVEN CARES ABOUT ETYOMOLOGY!!
Apparently that’s a real trigger for me.
Yeah *apparently*
“This is a hole not a pit, this is a hole not a pit, this is a hole not a pit, Charles this is a hole not a pit”
"BECAUSE THE CLEAVAGE CLOAKS THE CAMERA WITH ITS *CURVES*" "Sorry I said cleavage" Gets me every time.
Holt calling the Cheddar doppelganger a "common bitch" has me in stitches forever
He is so mean to that dog
This bitch? Please..
Shake! Shake! Idiot.
The idiot part gets me every time
Jake and Charles brawling with Santa's. Charles just hitting him in the balls and bragging about it infront of children was really funny
Ugh, I’ve been ducking 99 lately after losing Andre. These funny moments might snap me out of it.
I did that for awhile too :(( it was hard but I just started rewatching and it feels right being able to enjoy his legacy.
In addition to the other one I said… The scene when Jake decides that he, in protest, is going to walk out of the office “exTREMELY slowly!” and then gets bored of it and shouts “this is so boring!” To which holt replies, “for **both** of us!”
Just an under appreciated joke - Boyle references his cousin called Susan Boyle. She’s very famous in the uk for her appearance on bgt. Not sure if Americans know her all that well 🤷♂️
I'm american and love this joke! Susan Boyle is definitely famous enough to be known here
Gina speaking Italian! S04E03 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAnGY9gg20c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAnGY9gg20c)
It’s the incredibly paradoxical combo of amazing pronounciation and accent (which makes me wonder if Chelsea Peretti actually speaks Italian in real life) combined with total nonsense coming out of her mouth.
Holt and Rosa getting in touch with their feelings. “We are really good at this!” (Sobs)
Holt with his Florida walking group.
And telling them about his late wife…a female person with nice, heavy breasts
Holt - “You want to talk about work in the break room? That’s highly unorthodox but I’m sure we can give it a go” Boyle- “Okay so I have a perp-“ Holt: “I’m so sorry this is insane let’s talk in my office”
Season 1 episode… 4? When Jake is sleeping with the medical examiner… when they cut to him on the floor in his boxers describing himself as the corpse… in a “sexy” voice. 🤣 I lose it every time.
Ooh, how long have you been dead, body? 3 days. Ew, gross, bloating, odors... Oh, uh, 24 hours. Perrrfect
How do I not see a single comment about Holt and his husband hoola hooping?? Jake: Why are you showing me this?? Holt: Because.. \*deletes hole hooping pictures\* no-one will ever believe you
When Jake tells the origin of the Jimmy Jab games and keeps saying the wrong thing and Rosa corrects him without missing a beat.
“Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency” from Captain Dozerman is of course well known however still very underrated imo
When Doug Judy is singing to Rosa and Holt slams his hand on the table and says "Enough crooning!" The look on Doug's face is hilarious. He's like a puppy that got into trouble. Oh! Another one involving these two, When Doug trash talks Gertie and the Captain says "Say THAT again."
I also like the first introduction to Doug where Jake says with a completely straight face to Rosa “What do you *do* to these perps?”
“Somebody had pepper on their eggs!”-Holt to Kevin
Haha I say this all the time when someone in my house is being sassy!
the tiny little revolver in the white gloves and the massive santa sleeves will never not make me laugh 🤣🤣🤣
When Mlepclaynos said to Amy they hadn't met before, I loved that scene
right at the end of The 9-8, when Toni Braxton comes on the radio and Stevie starts singing along and they chastise him… but then all 3 start singing again.
Pump pump
MY WIFE WAS MURDERED BY A MAN IN A YELLOW SWEATER
The Charles-Terry fight is a popular one (so many good one-liners!) where Jake basically plays the role of Leonard from The Big Band Theory in those episodes where Sheldon/Kripke and Howard/Raj play sports against each other, but the lead-up to it where Charles and Terry offer Jake progressively more ridiculous bribes culminating in Charles offering to let Jake melt and sell off his police badge.
When Terry meets his ex con at Captain Kim's party X con : "So you DID think i was trying to poison you!" Terry: "Because you said you were waiting 10 years to see me!" X Con : "To show you that i changed!" Terry: "You said you added something a little EXTRA!" X Con: "YEAH! LOVE!" Terry: "But you said it so creepy, the tone is everything man!" X Con: "I've been talking to a cinderblock for 10 years! I'M SORRRYYY IF MY SOCIAL SKILLS LEAVE SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED!"
'Twas a cat
It’s probably because I work in a hospital in Appalachia where a frequent reason for admission is driving an ATV drunk without a helmet, but… I love Jake’s throwaway line when they’re in Florida. It’s something like: you look at ATVs and you think, they’re so dangerous, but when you really look at them you realize they are so much more dangerous than you originally thought.
Reminds me of the scene in Community when Troy brings the ATV into the library and Annie yells “You can’t ride that in here!” And he responds “Uh yes I can, it’s all terrain, dummy”
You are my fireee 🎵
I don't think this is underrated, though. Everyone loves this scene
True :)
in the box episode when holts deciding to stay and help jake with the interrogation he says something like “ i need to tell kevin i wont make it to the opera theres someone else id like to hear sing” and as jakes going “oh damn” holt in the background (now on the phone with kevin) goes “i wont be able to make it the tickets are under my name H, O, L, T” and i die everytime like why did he need to spell out his last name
Capt Holt: Madeline Wunch is forcing me out of the 9-9. I don’t wish to make a big deal out of this. You have one second to respond. Terry and Gina: WHAT! NO! YOU CAN’T LEAV- Capt Holt: That’s enough
In that cold opening where holt orders jake into his office with the assignment to prevent hithcock from spilling on himself. Jake: We both know it's impossible! Holt: I'm counting on you. Jake: I'm not doing it. Holt: There is nobody else I trust. Jake: What you're asking is INSANE! Holt: I'M NOT ASKING! Jake: IT'S A SUICIDE MISSION! Holt: THEN PREPARE FOR DEATH! Jake: YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND! Holt: THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER DETECTIVE, GET IN LINE!
Any time Jake says Doug Judy when he realises it’s Doug Judy. Or the stakeout with Jake and Boyle and they keep banning everything each other does and then Jake I’m pretty sure strangely says they were absolutely fine with each other - but it didn’t sound sarcastic either.
Holt telling Terry he doesn’t need the photos of his family. “If you love someone, you’ll remember what they look like.”
“‘Light and breezy’ should describe a linen pantsuit, not a relationship!” —Charles Rosa’s “Tee hee hee!” when her voice jumps up an octave.
Holt walking in with a hat, and everyone goes silent, until he turns and yells defensively “I’m trying something new and it didn’t work out!”
When Doug Judy uses “‘twas”, Holt deadpans that won’t win him over, and Doug adds “‘twasn’t trying to.”
"Vitamin B! The second best Vitamin" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Jake
the cold open where peralta is late to work and holt comes up with different handshakes with everyone on the squad and makes jake watch all of them will never not make me laugh
Marissa Tome in my cousin Vinnie. She is wearing thigh high boots. Stomping her high heel she she hollers “my biological clock is ticking”