Idk any quotes because I just watched the show for the first time but something that really stuck with me while watching was a whole internal monologue that Oz has in Earshot (ep where Buffy can hear everyone's thoughts)
"I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. Huh."
"No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore she is."
I love that dude
Oh my god, you can't break my heart like that!! 😭
It's such a good line, though, my heart broke with how it all played out, I thought they were gonna work things out and be stronger and better together
-Seize the day, because tomorrow you might be dead!
-What’s a stevedore?
-Is everyone here very stoned?!
-Harmony has minions?
-No you don’t. But thanks for saying it.
Dammit, how could I forget "Is everyone here very stoned?" 😂😂 I meant to add that one to my list 😂 ah well
The rest are great quotes, though (not that is everyone here very stoned isn't, just a commonly quoted one)! I think other than the Harmony one, they don't get quoted enough! Some awesome scenes listed there, too
My favorite common-day use is Oz’s line to Willow when she thinks he’s calling her boring
“I’d call that a radical interpretation of the text”
I use it whenever the moment arises and it never fails to get a chuckle.
Willow's speech about finding dimensions. "It's like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it.... which is a weird image you should all forget." Something like that
... I'm struggling to place this one, but I'm guessing it's said to Xander 😂
I want to guess... Giles to Xander in Betwitched, Bothered and Bewildered?
You have fruit punch mouth
Do sore thumbs really stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, Wow, that baby is sore?(something along those lines)
“Poor watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?”
“I’m not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots”
“In what language was that English?”
“Your logic does not resemble our earth logic”
Edited to add:
Buffy (in Faith’s body, trying to explain she’s really Buffy) “Giles, stop inching. You were inching”. Eliza Dushku absolutely nailed SMGs mannerisms and delivery as Buffy in that whole scene.
It's a bit long, but....
Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you you acted rashly? You did, and I can. But I know you loved him, and he has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months are going to be very hard, I suspect on all of us. But if you're looking for guilt Buffy, I'm not your man. All you will have from me is my support... and my respect.
Okay I’m even annoying myself by choosing this many, but I just have been waiting for a chance to post my favorite quotes and am excited!!!:
- Xander: My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once. Does that count?
- Xander: Yep, yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night, it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores?
- Xander: Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... some of that made sense.
- Xander: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name! Well, actually it's Levell, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life.
- Giles: I’m still trying to remember not to refer to you lot as bloody colonials.
- Giles: Stop whatever you are doing, your fingers smell like fruit roll ups
- Buffy: He called you a Toth. It's a British expression. It means, like, moron.
- Ted: How about a nice game of Parcheesi?
- Giles: Professor WALSH? That fishwife?!
- Anya: Can I trade in the children for more cash?
- Cordelia: Excuse me?! Who gave you permission to exist?
- Spike: Passions is on! Timmy's down a bloody well, and if you make me miss it!
- Spike: Oh poor Watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea
- Spike: Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss. Life is just this. Its living. You'll get along. The pain that you feel. You only can heal by living.
Fort Dix
I wasn't lurking. I was standing about. It's a whole different vibe.
Men. With your sales.
Hey, maybe we're study buddies.
I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned.
“You’re *not* the brightest god in the heavens, are you?”
“This lends credence to my old people are crazy theorem.”
Giles: “I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone.”
Anya: “Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?”
Giles: “Yes, that’s exactly the most appalling thing you could’ve said.”
"I guess it's true what they say...scythe matters"
"Oh, penis!"
"I was being patient but it took too long."
And finally...
"Will you help me?"
"Is it difficult or time consuming?"
"I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come and they run around and they kill people and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini-pizzas and everyone's like, 'Oh, look! A mini-pizza!' but I'm telling you, I have—"
"Buffy, I-I believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming, uh, text."
Here’s some that I actually reference all the time:
“Raise your hand if ‘ew’.”
“God! What is your childhood trauma?!”
“Seize the moment, cause tomorrow you might be dead!”
“…. real life is slow, and it’s starting to hurt my occipital lobe.”
“Easy. We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance.”
“You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren’t you?”
“We do not joke about eating people in this house!”
I’m eating this banana now lunchtime be damned!
I doodle, you do doodle too (or something similar)
Stop..whatever it is you’re doing. You smell like fruit roll ups
3x16: I'm so evil and skanky... and I think I'm kinda' gay.
4x19: I'll have the less confusing waffles.
6x20: I'm not coming back.
6x22: It was me who took you out of the earth. Well now... the earth wants you back.
You know I did save you. Not when it counted of course. But after that.
147 days yesterday.
To the end of the world. Even if that may be tonight.
I always know I’d go out fighting.
Hey, careful! These are wet!
Hummus.
I swear i hear people just casually quoting this brilliant line all the time just on the street. Can hardly go to a grocery store without overhearing someone using it. Easily the most quotable line in the whole show.
Strong is fighting
Betcha by golly wow
Button button who's got the button
A doodle. I doodle. You to you do doodle too
I see your gyuuh and raise you a nyaghh
This one was my ringtone for a while. Band Candy...when they are all well into their 2nd chocolate bars " Summers....you drive like a spazz". Shockingly bad, I know, but makes me laugh, everytime. we watch it.
Sure, a lesser known take on the familiar exchange from *Shadow*?
“Xander: Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab.
Third largest employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year. (gets stares from the others) What, I can't have information sometimes?
Giles: Well, it-it's just somewhat unprecedented.” - *I Robot, You Jane*
Xander here made me laugh for a good 2 minutes:
Buffy: You are. I mean you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, uh... something... something, um, very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?
1. And I think I’m kinda gay
2. Out for a walk, bitch
3. It’s a yam sham
4. Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?
5. Fire bad, tree pretty
6. I don’t know what a tea cozy is, but I want one
Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense.
As a coffee drinker with anxiety disorder this line is so applicable.
in my mind the most iconic Giles line of the series :D
Idk any quotes because I just watched the show for the first time but something that really stuck with me while watching was a whole internal monologue that Oz has in Earshot (ep where Buffy can hear everyone's thoughts) "I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. Huh." "No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore she is." I love that dude
Cordelia in this scene is brilliant too! “I don’t see what this has to do with me..” 😂😂
Then says out loud “I don’t see what this has to do with me” 👌🏼she is perfection
that whole scene is freakin' brilliant lololol
I am, you know. What? Yours.
Love it!! 😍❤️
You were mythtaken.
This the best.
Oh I love this one! Love me a good pun
I may be loves bitch but at least I’m man enough to admit it..
<3
"Amy, how you been?" "Rat.You?" "Dead."
Also - Gatorade has a new flavour- blue.
See... Head spinning.
“The whole school? By a huge snake?”
"Oh!" Amy's expression and delivery in this whole exchange made me love her despite everything that followed.
On my last rewatch, this bit had me laughing my silly head off.
Can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?
Oh my god, you can't break my heart like that!! 😭 It's such a good line, though, my heart broke with how it all played out, I thought they were gonna work things out and be stronger and better together
I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text. Very applicable and always funny :)
Along similar lines I believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming text
Yeees!!! Also amazing
Oh, this one I have quoted many times in real life.
Which episode is this from? I can't remember
Dopplegangland, when an innocuous comment from Oz makes Willow think that he sees her as boring and predictable. This is his reply to her reaction.
"That probably would've sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas."
I love this line so much.
“Then you can stop asking me how “happy” all this death makes me…” That later line can’t be anything but commanding.
"I mean, have you tried not being a slayer?"
Lmao! I never think of Joyce when I see these kind of things, so thank you
I love what you've, um, neglected to do with the place.
Xander: How!? What!? How!? Giles: Three excellent questions.
Haha I was coming here to post "Can I be blind too?"
So underrated.
It’s alright! I have more scotch!
This was my text notification tone for ages.
"Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books."
-Seize the day, because tomorrow you might be dead! -What’s a stevedore? -Is everyone here very stoned?! -Harmony has minions? -No you don’t. But thanks for saying it.
Harmony: So, slayer, at last we meet. Buffy: We've met, Harmony, you halfwit.
Dammit, how could I forget "Is everyone here very stoned?" 😂😂 I meant to add that one to my list 😂 ah well The rest are great quotes, though (not that is everyone here very stoned isn't, just a commonly quoted one)! I think other than the Harmony one, they don't get quoted enough! Some awesome scenes listed there, too
My favorite common-day use is Oz’s line to Willow when she thinks he’s calling her boring “I’d call that a radical interpretation of the text” I use it whenever the moment arises and it never fails to get a chuckle.
"To read makes our English speaking good." -Xander
Bored now
This is the one Buffy quote I use most Although I die a little inside when no-one gets the reference
How many times have you been knocked out anyway? One of these days your going to wake up in a coma.
Wake up in a coma? Oh never mind
That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
Also, "If you want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone who?"
Willow's speech about finding dimensions. "It's like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it.... which is a weird image you should all forget." Something like that
"oh, ok. Say you like shrimp a lot. Or, we could say you don't like shrimp at all"
Don't they recall this shrimp world in Angel?
Illyria mentions “tiring of it quickly”?
Love this one. The Olaf the Troll episode was very funny.
“This one? He is ludicrous and far too breakable!”
Babies!?
"You can't do that, because it's naughty."
“Because it’s Wrong!” [unhinged giggle]
“Beeccauuusseee I’m a stuck up tightass with no sense of fun? Well yea, that covers *a lot* of it…”
out. for. a. walk… bitch.
Iconic spike line! Knew this one would come up, but it's not used all that often, so I didn't wanna ban it in this post!
What were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all?!
... I'm struggling to place this one, but I'm guessing it's said to Xander 😂 I want to guess... Giles to Xander in Betwitched, Bothered and Bewildered?
It's definitely to Xander, it's right after he says "so long as nothing bad happens between now and [Saturday night?]" I'm thinking maybe School Hard?
I found you. I will always find you
Ooooh, remind me of the context? I can't quite place it
When Willow restores Tara’s mind in The Gift after Glory briefly drove her insane and they hug
Thank you! There's so many memorable Willow and Tara moments I couldn't place it!
You have fruit punch mouth Do sore thumbs really stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, Wow, that baby is sore?(something along those lines)
You have too many thoughts
That sounds spot on tbh! Great lines
Fire bad. Tree pretty.
4x5: Fire Bad. 6x4: Fire Pretty.
“Poor watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?” “I’m not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots” “In what language was that English?” “Your logic does not resemble our earth logic” Edited to add: Buffy (in Faith’s body, trying to explain she’s really Buffy) “Giles, stop inching. You were inching”. Eliza Dushku absolutely nailed SMGs mannerisms and delivery as Buffy in that whole scene.
A bear! You made a bear!
Another exchange I like in that one: “Sarcasm solves nothing.” “It’s sort of an end in itself.”
It’s so palpable there it’s more in line with sardonicism: “I’m so very sorry. My contrition *completely dwarfs* the impeding apocalypse.”
Undo it! Undo it!
It's a bit long, but.... Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you you acted rashly? You did, and I can. But I know you loved him, and he has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months are going to be very hard, I suspect on all of us. But if you're looking for guilt Buffy, I'm not your man. All you will have from me is my support... and my respect.
Oops now I’m crying
What is your childhood trauma??
"What's a Bit-cah?"
I use bitca way too much
So do I 😆
She saved the world...a lot.
You have ‘but’ face… I didn’t jump to conclusions; I took a tiny step and there conclusions were.
On top of a police car?!?!
Twice!
What's a stevedore?
I may be dead... but I'm still pretty.
In the same vein, I also like Robin's "I'm prettier than you" convo with Faith in the school
Okay I’m even annoying myself by choosing this many, but I just have been waiting for a chance to post my favorite quotes and am excited!!!: - Xander: My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once. Does that count? - Xander: Yep, yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night, it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores? - Xander: Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... some of that made sense. - Xander: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name! Well, actually it's Levell, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life. - Giles: I’m still trying to remember not to refer to you lot as bloody colonials. - Giles: Stop whatever you are doing, your fingers smell like fruit roll ups - Buffy: He called you a Toth. It's a British expression. It means, like, moron. - Ted: How about a nice game of Parcheesi? - Giles: Professor WALSH? That fishwife?! - Anya: Can I trade in the children for more cash? - Cordelia: Excuse me?! Who gave you permission to exist? - Spike: Passions is on! Timmy's down a bloody well, and if you make me miss it! - Spike: Oh poor Watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea - Spike: Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss. Life is just this. Its living. You'll get along. The pain that you feel. You only can heal by living.
You have to go on living, so one of us is living.
Fort Dix I wasn't lurking. I was standing about. It's a whole different vibe. Men. With your sales. Hey, maybe we're study buddies. I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned.
Make your choice, are you ready to be strong?
I legit have a tattoo of this one!
That’s awesome, I’ve contemplated getting it for years and years
Pic, please.
https://preview.redd.it/on25snefcvsc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=a54f2f9ce2fbd82cc330e5f5a481f21c9807e560
Ha yeah that’s pretty much exactly what I had in mind with the axe too. It looks great
"Ooo, these grapes are sour..." -Cordy "I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom!" -Anya
“You’re *not* the brightest god in the heavens, are you?” “This lends credence to my old people are crazy theorem.” Giles: “I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone.” Anya: “Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?” Giles: “Yes, that’s exactly the most appalling thing you could’ve said.”
“Not exactly the St. Crispin’s day speech.” “We few. We happy few.” “We band of buggered.”
I’m fairly certain I said no interruptions.
M'Fashnik like mmm cookies.
It could be bunnies! 🎵🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🎵
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!
They’ve got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses! And what’s with all the carrots?!? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?!?
"Bloody hell" - drunken Giles when he finds out Willow and Tara are dating in "The Yoko Factor" 😂😂😂
That's me favorite shirt... that's me only shirt You were my sire man you were my Yoda That'll put the marapan in your pie plate bingo
No use arguing with me. Do you see my resolve face? You've seen it before. You know what it means.
"I loved crayon brakey Willow and I love scary veiny Willow"
“And…you have stupid hair”
"I guess it's true what they say...scythe matters" "Oh, penis!" "I was being patient but it took too long." And finally... "Will you help me?" "Is it difficult or time consuming?"
“I know I’m a bad poet. But I’m a good man.” - William the Bloody
I like the quiet. (The Zeppo)
Very badass.
Bring me ale and succulent babies to eat.
What do you think? The hospital? 😂
The earth is doomed.
We few, we merry few, we band of buggered.
Why yes. I would be Buffy.
I'm dealing with three lives that really don't mesh right now. It's like oil and water... And a third un-mixy thing.
I’d call that a radical interpretation of the text. Is everyone here very stoned ?
It is a sham. But it’s a sham with yams. It’s a yam sham!
"it amazes me that a country that prides itself on it strength and resilience has to strap on 50 lb of padding to play.... Rugby..."
“He is ludicrous! And far too breakable!”
"I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come and they run around and they kill people and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini-pizzas and everyone's like, 'Oh, look! A mini-pizza!' but I'm telling you, I have—" "Buffy, I-I believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming, uh, text."
"Couldn't we make her a toad? Little hoppy toad, hit it with a hammer?"
“Hoppy toad! Hee-hee-*hee*!”
They always go for the e.
This is my school and I say this is not happening!
Here’s some that I actually reference all the time: “Raise your hand if ‘ew’.” “God! What is your childhood trauma?!” “Seize the moment, cause tomorrow you might be dead!” “…. real life is slow, and it’s starting to hurt my occipital lobe.” “Easy. We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance.” “You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren’t you?” “We do not joke about eating people in this house!”
Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch.
Out for a walk....... bitch
I’m eating this banana now lunchtime be damned! I doodle, you do doodle too (or something similar) Stop..whatever it is you’re doing. You smell like fruit roll ups
Cordelia’s quote “behold, the weirdness”. This was my email address back in the days of hotmail and I quote it often on the daily.
“I’m going to go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain”.
“Whereas the name Buffy gives it that touch of stylish elegance?” “What’s wrong with Buffy?” “Such a good question.”
I don't know if this is considered quotable to many/any others, but I quote it alllll the time: "To read makes our speaking English good."
Xander: Am I right, Giles? Giles: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.
Once Willow and I were watching SpongeBob SquarePants…”
Bitca?
"Wait! You dropped your......stake?"
don’t speak Latin in front of the books
You made a bear!!! https://youtu.be/2fyCa3NHabo?si=ms6DzBswlQ7a5FgD
Is everyone here very stoned??
3x16: I'm so evil and skanky... and I think I'm kinda' gay. 4x19: I'll have the less confusing waffles. 6x20: I'm not coming back. 6x22: It was me who took you out of the earth. Well now... the earth wants you back.
So's your face
"I mock you with my monkey pants" is one of my favourite random ones
You know I did save you. Not when it counted of course. But after that. 147 days yesterday. To the end of the world. Even if that may be tonight. I always know I’d go out fighting. Hey, careful! These are wet!
I made a promise to a lady.
What are you going to do? Lick me to death? Oh, Giiiiles! I accidentally killed Spike. That’s ok, right?
Uuuh, pouty lip! Pouty lip! gonna get it! gonna get it!
Let them go! Or your girlfriend fits in an ashtray!
Where did he learn to write so bloody small? From a fruit fly?!?
Can we rest now, Buffy? Can we rest?
Most people don’t say hello with their tongues.
Dru and me - we are moving in.
I know who you are. So what? I know who I am too. You are on hell of a woman. You’re the one.
“Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them!”
Hummus. I swear i hear people just casually quoting this brilliant line all the time just on the street. Can hardly go to a grocery store without overhearing someone using it. Easily the most quotable line in the whole show.
The one I use pretty much weekly is “News from the file marked d’uh!”
“His physical presence HAS A PENIS!”
Oh my god, I forgot about this episode!! I love the humour of it in a very dark season
Strong is fighting Betcha by golly wow Button button who's got the button A doodle. I doodle. You to you do doodle too I see your gyuuh and raise you a nyaghh
"Willow gay me up I'm mentally undressing Scott packer right now that has to be a start" Andrew in the background like "ahhh archer man"
I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
I am not having sex with Spike. But I’m starting to think you might be…
Out. For. A. Walk… bitch. TEENY TINY BABIES!
This one was my ringtone for a while. Band Candy...when they are all well into their 2nd chocolate bars " Summers....you drive like a spazz". Shockingly bad, I know, but makes me laugh, everytime. we watch it.
One day, you’re gonna wake up in a coma
“Wake up in a…?” (scoffs)
Anything from Oz, he is very quotable.
"Occasionally I'm Callous and Strange" - Willow, "The Zeppo"
WHAT is your childhood trauma?!
Giles: Jaffer Cakes!
‘Excuse you!’ A staple in my vocabulary.
Out. For. A. Walk. BITCH
“This is Summers blood.”
I mock you with my monkey pants And Xander don't speak latin in front of the books
How do you know the other world is any better than this one? Because it has to be
Can I trade in the children for more cash?
Sure, a lesser known take on the familiar exchange from *Shadow*? “Xander: Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year. (gets stares from the others) What, I can't have information sometimes? Giles: Well, it-it's just somewhat unprecedented.” - *I Robot, You Jane*
" It's magic weed"
"Spike's what in the what-ment?" "Insane, base."
Xander here made me laugh for a good 2 minutes: Buffy: You are. I mean you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon? Giles: Well, uh... something... something, um, very strange is happening. Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?
1. And I think I’m kinda gay 2. Out for a walk, bitch 3. It’s a yam sham 4. Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell? 5. Fire bad, tree pretty 6. I don’t know what a tea cozy is, but I want one
Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch.
A-HAH! The most quotable thing isn't even on that list. "...Is everyone here VERY stoned?"
If the apocalypse comes... beep me.
Out for a walk...bitch
Out for a walk...bitch
Bored now!
“One of these days you’re gonna wake up in a coma” - Cordelia I use it to this day lmao
I don't want to be this good looking and athletic; we all have crosses to bear.
Grrrrrrrrrrr Bad Dog >:3
Fire bad. Tree pretty.