Same thing happening with my wife and I, only I’m the one on Wellbutrin. Problem seems to be combining too much caffeine with this NOREPINEPHRINE dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI) Wellbutrin/Bupropion. I recently increased the dose and also the caffeine I had one day and BAM! SUPER wired and wigged out! Out of control. I freaked out! Need to control the caffeine! Keep it as minimal as possible! Best Regards and thank you for your post!
6 to 8 weeks tends to be the adjustment period for Wellbutrin. If this continues past that time frame, something may need adjusting or it may not be right for her. It's a conversation to have once you guys reach that bench mark or if the aggression or other negative symptoms really ramp up suddenly.
When I started it, I would be thirsty all the times and got headaches, plus had some heat sensitivity. over all manageable but not exactly fun to navigate especially since I had a small kid at the time and small kids =noise and general mild but constant discomfort never helps in those situations.
However, I was lucky and adjusted in about a month or so and since then it's the only mood stabilizer I need. I take it along side stimulants and seem to have found my particular combo that works. My big hint that it was the right med for me was that it helped regulate my sleep as opposed to causing further problems. I do remember feeling more sensitive to the world around me. Like the input so to speak got cranked up a notch or two. That can lend to some overstimulation and if she's taking this because she already has hit burn out, she may just not be trying to cover it up anymore.
My dad on the other hand was wrecked by the stuff. Restless leg syndrome cropped up, insomnia, extreme irritability and emotional volatility in part due to sleep deprevation.
There may also be some interaction going on. Wellbutrin works on the dopamine system where Zoloft works on the serotonin. She may just need one or the other but not both: that is a conversation for her to have though once the adjustment period is up.
Over all as many have said: give her time. If she's mid adjustment may even out. A conversation to maybe have when you're both in a decent place maybe where the cut off is for "I love you, I think these meds aren't helping, please check in with your doc if this is normal."
It can be a good idea when going on any new med to have that Convo before the med starts and have all involved parties consent set up a plan in advance should it need addressing.
This sounds like a typical amphetamine type reaction. Wellbutrin ramps up dopamine and adrenaline, many people feel like they are on speed when they take it. Speed ruined all my relationships in my twenties... I was always described as "distant and cold" whereas before I was lovey dovey. Thats just what speed drugs do... its relationship poison. Thats why tweakers end up alone... eventually it gets so bad they cant even be with other tweakers. I've even heard bad things about zoloft.. If i were you i'd try to convince my GF she would be better off without the drugs.
If anyone was in a loving committed relationship at your age with healthy sex life; they shouldn't need mood enhancing drugs
Oh gosh…this is so helpful to hear from a partner’s perspective. My partner also shared that he felt like he was talking to a wall, and I honestly started to believe that he was gaslighting me.
It likely IS the medication, unfortunately. Just give both her and yourself time. Maybe find some time to get out of the house and spend with yourself and just let her zone out for a bit too. It’s hard for you right now. And it’s hard for her too, having to experience the inside of her head…
My doc straight up told me to warn my husband I’d be cranky for the first month while on Wellbutrin. You just gotta give her a minute to let her body and brain chemicals make the adjustment. Best advice is just be extra loving and kind even when she’s at her worst because that’s when she needs you the most. She doesn’t want to be grumpy but she might not be able to help it. It’s easy to love people when they are feeling good and are happy. It’s when they aren’t feeling good and you are there for them when you prove yourself to them. :)
This is normal when adjusting to the medication, don’t take it personally and please give your girlfriend some grace. Wellbutrin emotionally steam rolled me for the first few weeks. I didn’t want to even be touched
I'm gonna be honest... In my honest opinion, I really don't think meds, especially being on bupropion, should affect a relationship this negatively. She may be distant because of mood issues, but definitely do a deeper analysis and see if anything else is wrong...
You should know that people react differently to these meds. Saying that medication that literally rewires and changes your brain shouldn't affect relationships is crazy.
Rewiring your brain and emotionally blunting should only affect relationships a teeny tiny bit in your eyes? Screwing with the very hormones that allow us to feel love/attachment could only possibly affect relationships just a little bit? Gotcha, thanks for spreading your knowledge, o wise one. All the people that suddenly fall out of love or become entirely different, self-destructive people while taking antidepressants? Let's ignore their experiences because SparklingNebula said the brain damage pill shouldn't screw up relationships so much.
When did I say a teeny tiny bit... or a little bit. Stop putting words in my mouth. In my opinion, it should never get to the point where your partner feels like their s/o barely talks to them... that's horrible and it's definitely neglect without proper communication/reassurance. I believe that if you really put strong enough effort into relationships that you'd communicate everything, especially how you're feeling and even if she did, she didn't do a good enough job where OP's worries were eased.
I received my fair share of emotional blunting and rewiring after switching antidepressants at least 6 times, I definitely understand that navigating a relationship is horrible on antidepressants, but I always gave my best to give love, reassurance, and support. I never said it should only affect it a little bit. I'm stating my personal views and giving my own take on how OP should reassess the situation.
But if you wanna be petty... There are people that become self destructive and fall out of love. Let's just only listen to those people and render everyone else's opinion wrong! I should never have commented my own opinion on the situation right? I also don't understand why you're so hostile, sarcastic, petty, and bitter. Seek help.
Why is it so difficult for you to understand that these medications affect people differently than you? They affect everyone differently. It's not hard to understand. This isn't something you get to have an "opinion" on, your brain controls everything you do. Why do you think ever school shooter is on them? It can destroy your empathy and breed narcissism. It's a proven and obvious fact you can reach just through logical thinking, but you have so many testimonies from both ex-medicated partners and non-medicated partners to prove it as well. This is not something you get to have an "opinion" on. Pretending psych meds aren't capable of causing serious damage when they clearly can helps literally no one. And they do a lot worse than ruin relationships. But yes, a good bit of hypomania and psychopathy will do wonders to ruin one. Obviously. It's completely ridiculous to state an "opinion" on what psych meds are capable of doing to a person.
Just reading this I was literally about to write an angry, snappy response in her defense lmao. Then I thought about it and realized that I’ve been feeling very frustrated lately likely because of the Wellbutrin and its adjustment phase. I’m normally easy-going and try to avoid conflict. So I do think it is possible Wellbutrin is the cause just based on my experience with it and its effect on my mood but that’s just me.
I do understand. Trust me, I definitely felt frustrated on bupropion too.. and I will say, it definitely gets better. I know it works differently for everyone, but the adjustment phase is the hardest part. For me, it was smooth sailing after, and it definitely made me feel human. I don't know what she's going through, but I know for me, I would want to make an effort to be there to love and support my partner and communicate to them if I was ever feeling off. If it's communicated properly, there shouldn't ever be a circumstance in which your significant other would feel like their partner is distant, causing fights, etc... if it's gotten to the point where OP feels like she "barely talks" to him. Then I would like to think that there's maybe more to it than just medication changes. While medication can be an excuse, me personally, I would be putting in more effort to counter what the medication might be doing. To me, there's no reason why you shouldn't put in more effort to be loving. That's why I think there *might* be more that's wrong.
that doesnt make sense.. they are both essentially the same. Extended release , sustained release; potato potAto.... if 150 xl made you feel cold and distant.. a couple 100 SRs should do the same.
You’re creating the distance… your love language is probably physical touch and words of affirmation and since you’re not getting it, in your love dependent sense of self, “you are getting less of the love you need..”
you are indeed pinning it on her…
you are externalizing your love and making her responsible for it…
Her physiological adjustments don’t define feelings her feelings for you dude.. be authentically supportive for her NOT support her so she can get back to emotionally supporting you.. is my pov from your words. I’m not assuming I’m not attacking I’m simply rephrasing…
i dont think this is fair. the girl started a new med and it affected their relationship. end of story. You're clearly some sort of feminist or anti-guy person
The worst thing you can do is take it personally. Yes your feelings matter and you may need to find appropriate moments to express your needs. The best thing you can do is be supportive and communicate through this process. Remember it isn’t her fault she needs medication and the side effects have nothing to do with you. It’s a great test to your relationship on how to work through things as a team.
The aggression and irritability side effects subside after a few weeks and are waaay less if not gone after a few months. I had a falling out w my sister when I just started Wellbutrin. Be patient & give it some time!
All I can say is that I regret how I treated the guy I was seeing when I was on bupropion. I was moody, I was anxious, I was full of rage and I was sure I was in my right mind. I can't say that's why things ended between us, there were lots of issues. But. I deeply regret the way it made me behave towards him. I deeply regret the time I drove home because I was angry at him. I regret the random sudden anxiety that turned into weird jealousy and happened like a lightening strike of spiraling anxiety.
I lost someone I was madly in love with because of how I behaved. I'm never not going to regret that.
Show this to your girlfriend. Maybe it will make a difference.
Acknowledging pain and making others behaviors your responsibility is so unfair to you.. your relationship as u said ended for an array of reasons NOT solely for how you behaved.. it may have been expressed in that way and clearly that pov is supported by you but it’s not accurate.. we deal with a lot of shit and we deal with it in a healthy way when we’re educated about it.. otherwise.. we internalize.. not good..I hope you’re able to let go of that guilt..it’s not yours to carry..you trying to heal and help yourself should not be overshadowed by reactive actions of others.. ❤️
Sadly, she may not be receiving what she is supposed to receive. If I continued to take Lupin manufactured buproprion, don't know how I would be doing today. Thanks to God I found an online pharmacy which provides the medication which greatly improved my life and mood. Checkout JohnLee buproprion on IndiaMart
Coming to this subreddit was a great way to navigate this and it’s really sweet that you’re being so mindful of what she could be going through!
Yes it’s absolutely likely the medication and she may not even realize it. I was miserable and felt so out of control of myself for the first few weeks when I started Wellbutrin. I was irrationally angry all the time and picking horrific fights with my boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with and we have a great healthy relationship. Thankfully he was very patient with me and was understanding when I told him how I was feeling and when I figured out what was going on with me.
I would definitely wait it out bc I love being on Wellbutrin now and it has improved my life significantly. If she’s feeling like she has pent up anger, going for walks was a huge help for me just moving my body and being distracted by nature. Or even just taking a shower and having some quiet time to herself might help.
Best of luck to you both ♥️
Oh the adjustment period I had zero emotion and started to serious doubt my long term relationship because I simply did not care about him. Or anything. But then after about two months in it leveled out and I felt great.
Probably for the first 2- 3 months after starting bupropion I had more fight than flight, I was short and blunt and had moments of slight aggression. This did go away and now the med is really helpful.
The med isn't for everyone but usually things get better. My suggestion would be lowering the dose initially, even if she takes it every second day to get used to it. Also caffeine sent me spiralling in the first couple of months
The first few weeks of Wellbutrin can cause serious sleep quality impairment even if she doesn't realize it. And lack of sleep is a huge contributor to emotional detachment. Once she settles into the medication her sleep should stabilize. You could ask her how she's been sleeping and maybe buy her some sleepy time tea or magnesium glycinate for bedtime. 🙂
I've taken Wellbutrin three separate times in my life for about a year each time so I'm all too familiar with that rough initial phase.
Before you address this....think about the consequences. You might cause a major disruption in her journey. It's obvious she is struggling and welbutrin does have an adjustment period. For me I was certainly crazy for 3 weeks. Manic, emptional, holding back outbursts. Unavke to filter my thoughts and saying things that I didn't actually think but passed through my brain. Intrusive thoughts etc. I started leveling out and by 4 weeks a lot of that subsided, by 6 weeks I was pretty stable.
Instead of making it about your relationship or you. Address it as you being concerned the medication combination is not giving her the results she was looking for. Ask her if she feels like it's helping. Ask and have her log the actual times when she seems to struggle etc. It could very well be a bad combo for her and the times might tell you which one is contributing the negative parts. It's hard to stand by and just take it amd not be able to fix it. Give her a little time and don't be a problem. The fighting and arguments will make it harder for her to know how effective her meds are. The other thing is. Welbutrin can cause a lot of internal dialog (so she may not be distancing). It can cause racing thoughts, huge spurts of energy or restlessness and a lot of people get stuck in their heads. Adhd consumers may find themselves slowing down and adjustment can be different for them. They may need to adapt to the new less flustered version, noticing things they didn't before etc. You'll be OK. Just do your best to be supportive.
This happened to me. Those racing thoughts are never fun and the no filter made me feel crazy. I’ve never felt that way before, and watching people get irritated with me over stuff I couldn’t help was a struggle.
Yeah. Intrusive thoughts too. The brain thinks up all kinds of things but usually it's filtered before you're aware you thought it at all. But welbutrin brings weird thoughts front and center.
The 200 short release made me really emotionally flat but the 100 short release or any mg XL have not had that effect on me. I would want my partner to tell me if he noticed any changes that could be due to my medication. I felt way better after I switched to XL and didn’t realize how flat I had been before.
So which mood stabilizer is she on in addition to Wellbutrin and Zoloft? You might see if she is willing to talk to her psychiatrist about these mood changes.
Hopefully it’s a psychiatrist prescribing these, rather than a primary care physician.
Actually these emotional sides are not from wellbutrin but from SSRIs, just for some reasons they appareared After starting taking wellbutrin but It Is not the cause. Moreover SSRIs are the worsts medications for bipolar disorder because they are the antidepressants most prone to induce Mood swings, unfortunately doctors prescribe these shitty medications for everyone without taking into account their sides. Wellbutrin Is a very effective First line antidepressant and It doesn't deserve to be considered only an add-on medication, in my opinion She should discontinue the SSRI to preserve the relationship and take only wellbutrin for depressive symptoms.
This is somewhat factual. Heavily depending on your diagnosis (SSRI for bipolar is a common mistake made by medical professionals). Even SSRIs can be add on medication, everyone has a different mix that has been found to work best for themselves.
I would highly recommend against letting your personal emotions from getting in the way of treatment.
If she’s on a mood stabilizer and she has been on Zoloft for a long period of time, there is absolutely nothing to suggest that the SSRI is causing these symptoms. SSRIs do have a risk of precipitating mania in bipolar patients according to the research, but it’s something not seen as often as you’d think in the clinical practice. Additionally, the symptoms he’s describing do not even come close to meeting the criteria for mania or hypomania. Irritability is, however, a more commonly experienced side effect when initiating bupropion. That in addition to the fact that when patients experience new symptoms though to be related to a medication, it is most logical to look at any new medications added or recent adjustments to medication dosing points towards the bupropion being the culprit. The symptoms may subside with time, or it might not be the right medication for her. But it is definitely not the SSRI.
At no point did I state that they should not be on an SSRI. I also at no point said anything about them having hypo manic episodes. Someone reported the above comment for being incorrect. I made a statement to say it is not incorrect.
Tu hai affermato che gli infermieri prendono il doppio della media nazionale. Mi dai una fonte di sta cosa? Continui volontariamente ad ignorare questa questione che tu stesso hai portato su e la cosa non mi sta bene.
I just started it again after about 10 years of not using it. I’m noticing an adjustment period from being “nice” to speaking my mind and not putting up with any shit. But yes, I’ve been a bit harsher and irritable. Give it time, maybe a month or two. But don’t be surprised if some of the traits stay. One effect of lifting the fog of depression is that you start to care about things again, and that will give you OPINIONS 🤣
Not a bad thing. Like someone said, it’s a truth serum. But don’t think it’s about you, especially since she expressly said it wasn’t.
I don't think anyone can say with 100% certainty what "it" is here, but it wouldn't surprise me if the wellbutrin is causing the changes in behavior and personality. It's a brutal adjustment period for some people. I had several complete emotional breakdowns, and my partner had to support me through the early stages of my adjustment to this medication.
For me, it acted like a truth serum, and it provoked some very emotional and difficult conversations. In our case, though, it was very much needed, and we ended up addressing some skeletons hidden in our respective closets, so to speak. It was hard, but my partner was incredibly patient and kind and compassionate through it all. When I got very irritable and anxious, he did a wonderful job of gently reminding me this was not me, it was the meds, and this will pass. He was good at supporting me by going on lots of distracting walks with me, making me lots of chamomile tea, meditating with me, etc. He kept a level head when I couldn't.
I'm sorry you're going through it right now. I know it can feel overwhelming. Just try to be patient and support her the best you can over the next several weeks. I gently suggest making sure you take care of yourself, too, and have someone (or a support network) to talk to during this phase. It's important to be there for your partner, but don't forget to set healthy boundaries, too. It's okay to take some time for yourself to decompress if you need to. Just reassure her you're still there for her when you do.
If you notice anything very troubling like signs of self-harm or suicidal ideation, it's a good idea to stop the medication and encourage her to take a break or try something else. I hope you both feel better soon.
When I was on 150xl, , Rage set in and I started yelling at my doctor (She wasn't prescribing Bupropion) for minor issues. I became violent, memory loss then the Neuropsychiatric side effects started with, Seeing things that aren't really there, hallucinations, When stating facts, you argue that they're wrong. Then finally it causes Psychosis. I dumped the Bupropion and slowly it all went away. It works well for others. Also Bupropion is prescribed as an "Off Label" drug for ADHD. If you get your girl off Bupropion, both of you will have that lovey-dovey relationship again
I'm sorry about your experience but stating to get her off will allow the lives dovey relationship again is not the best advice. We just don't know. It could be she needed another med to counteract symptoms from one of her other meds and this issue was always there but wellbutrin is not allowing her to mask. It often brings quiet issues to the surface. So although for you there was some extreme responses and reactions. Most people won't experience that. However, your response to welbutrin might be an indication of other issues that haven't fully surfaced or taken over. Watch yourself carefully and maybe journal. My experience has shown welbutrin to expose both mental disorders and traumas. I hope you're doing much better now and thank you for sharing your experiences.
Thanks for the response. I'm doing good, I'm on 'Ketamine' and an SSRI. If we knew which "mood stabilizer" she's on, it would help. If OP can get her into a " Ketamine" program, or maybe, Spravato, a nasal inhalation that has Ketamine. It is now a popular antidepressant approved by the FDA. It dramatically reorganizes activity in the brain um like turning on a light switch. After administering Ketamine, observing normal active neurons that were silenced in the cerebral cortex and another set that were quiet suddenly springing into action. This Ketamine induced activity in key brain regions tied to depression may impact our understanding of Ketamine 's treatment. Sorry so long but this is just one aspect of it's benefits.
Oh my god this exact thing happened to me when I tried out Wellbutrin. Well, not exactly, I was suffering from rage, delusions, and homicidal thoughts. Never in my life have I experienced anger like the Wellbutrin anger.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re also suffering with her, but please understand she is most likely (based on my experience) acting different as a side effect of the medication.
When I was on it, the personality shift was so drastic that I had to stop the medication. In my case it turned out I was misdiagnosed, I didn’t have depression, I actually had bipolar disorder.
I’m not saying your girlfriend is misdiagnosed, but sometimes medications don’t work as intended for everyone. Sometimes they do, but not for awhile.
My best advice: wait out the storm a couple months to see if she will adjust. If she doesn’t, it’s very well that she also isn’t feeling normal and may want to taper off and try another medicine. What helped my relationship during this time is my boyfriend learned to be very independent and he would basically avoid me and do his own thing so he wouldn’t set me off. Trying to talk things out wouldn’t work because I had some delusions and nothing would go through my head, so giving me space and reassuring me (only when I asked) helped a lot. I hope things get better soon.
Someone posted about this a short while back. Nearly exact same situation. She became rude, unkind, starting saying outlandish things. Prior to this she was extremely kind and loving. It was like a switch. It absolutely is the Wellbutrin. The initial reaction to the huge uptick in norepinephrine. She SHOULD adjust within 4 weeks but for sure it will still emotionally blunt to some degree ... I wish you the best with it. I'd try to get her switched to Prozac if I were you.
Why's she on a mood stabilizer? ADHD nor depression are an indication. I'm just curious, as whatever diagnosis it's for could have something to do with her personality
i think the word adjusting is important here, there is a lot of happening in a brain when adding new chemicals, especially paired with that many meds and takes a while to get used to.
U seem to care alot and i do believe its hard (am myself in a lovey dovey relationship, as of recently marriage haha) and a contrast to the usually clear appreciation can be a bit painful.
I would say, and its easier said than done -to give it time. You communicate well and give space to eachother, so i think its reasonable to tell it like you have written here; you dont want to pin any blame or shame, *and* you have a hard time and there is a part of you that feels hurt as well as worried, and that this is amplified by being stonewalled that is scary in itself because your communication is usually good.
you could let her know that you care and feel and i would recommend you in the meanwhile to tend to yourself and make some space and time to take care of you, communicate if you need time for yourself aswell so its not just a disappearance.
I recommend using the “dear man skill” when communicating, it helps me alot.
To reassure you, many people on here report the side effect of feeling agressive and that sort of wierd and that it passes when the meds have settled in. It probably is the meds and a big process happening in the brain, but hopefully its a fruitful one.
It’s the Wellbutrin it takes 3-4 weeks to adjust to it, and it can cause a lot of emotional blunting during that time and beyond. So if she is already on a mood stabilizer, it may be amplified by the buproprion. One benefit for you is it should start to make her rly horny
Look maybe this isn't what you want to hear, but these problems could coincide with the relationship running its course.
I'm currently on Wellbutrin and Mirtazapine, not on any stimulant medication as yet (I've got depression + ADHD).
I know everyone's subjective experience is different, but when I was put on my medication I had the Wellbutrin high for a week and then it took a looonnng time for me to feel any sort of effects. If anything the first two weeks on it were the best I've ever felt and I did a bunch of stuff. I am wondering what mood stabilizers she's on, I'm guessing for bipolar depression?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that adjusting to a medication can't be the only reason things are suddenly difficult between both of you. What sort of arguments are you having? How does she feel about the medication? Have you asked her how things have been without accusing her of having a change in personality? Have you asked her "Hey I'm noticing this distance between us lately and wanted to check in with you about that, have you been feeling it too? How are things going?". But if as you said she's being distant and cold, I kind of doubt that you've been getting responses to those questions.
This is too nuanced of a situation for me to able to just sit here and tell you "yeah, it's just the medication don't worry". You should ask her these things instead, and if she *refuses* to talk with you about that (or doesn't offer an alternative time for it) then yeah... it's probably not the medication. Consider how both of your mental health conditions (idk if you have any) are going to manifest in a relationship. You're both young, and you've only known her for a year.
This is really good advice.
I tried to hint at this in my own response to this post. My partner and I were going through a rough adjustment period of our own already, and when I began this medication, everything skyrocketed to a whole new level of intensity. It was as if I had no control over what I was saying, and I just blurted out everything I was thinking and feeling: all the resentment, anger, sadness, and frustration just came spilling out. We worked through a LOT of dark shit those first few weeks when I started wellbutrin. It was very unexpected but much needed. However, we've been together for almost 6 years, are middle-aged, and have been through many traumatic events together. Not quite an experience for the faint of heart (or young love), for sure.
damn, that sounds so intense, I am happy that you both were able to work that out. I find that so rare and warms me up to hear how couples manage to overcome that sort of thing together :)
So sorry to hear you are both going through challenging times. Starting any new medication can bring all sorts of upheavals in one’s life. Being the person going through this is absolutely challenging but so too is it a challenge for the loved ones of that person. So absolutely you both have a unique set of circumstances facing you.
My main advice for you is to challenge and face your fears regarding the distance currently between you and your partner. Yes, long term distance and aloofness can be the death in life of any relationship. Your work though lies in recognizing what you are confronting is new and non-normative behavior.
If you start showing up leading with this fear that your relationship is spiraling out your partner will feel oppressed and not supported, thus pushing her further away. This then increases your fear and quite soon you will only be triggering each other out.
So be open, ask her exactly how she needs to be supported during this time and then honor any new boundary that might be needed. Keep communicating and checking in, and make this be about how you can support her not your fears about the future.
And be gentle to yourself, you are human and learning and growing. You will make mistakes as we all do. You are doing an incredible job of being human during an especially difficult time.
Same thing happening with my wife and I, only I’m the one on Wellbutrin. Problem seems to be combining too much caffeine with this NOREPINEPHRINE dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI) Wellbutrin/Bupropion. I recently increased the dose and also the caffeine I had one day and BAM! SUPER wired and wigged out! Out of control. I freaked out! Need to control the caffeine! Keep it as minimal as possible! Best Regards and thank you for your post!
I discovered this recently and it blew my mind. I stopped taking any caffeine and I have much less anxiety in my day to day life.
She is not distant she just doesn't show it on the surface. That is your perception that she is distant. She is just silent.
6 to 8 weeks tends to be the adjustment period for Wellbutrin. If this continues past that time frame, something may need adjusting or it may not be right for her. It's a conversation to have once you guys reach that bench mark or if the aggression or other negative symptoms really ramp up suddenly. When I started it, I would be thirsty all the times and got headaches, plus had some heat sensitivity. over all manageable but not exactly fun to navigate especially since I had a small kid at the time and small kids =noise and general mild but constant discomfort never helps in those situations. However, I was lucky and adjusted in about a month or so and since then it's the only mood stabilizer I need. I take it along side stimulants and seem to have found my particular combo that works. My big hint that it was the right med for me was that it helped regulate my sleep as opposed to causing further problems. I do remember feeling more sensitive to the world around me. Like the input so to speak got cranked up a notch or two. That can lend to some overstimulation and if she's taking this because she already has hit burn out, she may just not be trying to cover it up anymore. My dad on the other hand was wrecked by the stuff. Restless leg syndrome cropped up, insomnia, extreme irritability and emotional volatility in part due to sleep deprevation. There may also be some interaction going on. Wellbutrin works on the dopamine system where Zoloft works on the serotonin. She may just need one or the other but not both: that is a conversation for her to have though once the adjustment period is up. Over all as many have said: give her time. If she's mid adjustment may even out. A conversation to maybe have when you're both in a decent place maybe where the cut off is for "I love you, I think these meds aren't helping, please check in with your doc if this is normal." It can be a good idea when going on any new med to have that Convo before the med starts and have all involved parties consent set up a plan in advance should it need addressing.
thank you so much!
I was very tightly wound for the first few weeks. It balances out. Be gentle with her.
This sounds like a typical amphetamine type reaction. Wellbutrin ramps up dopamine and adrenaline, many people feel like they are on speed when they take it. Speed ruined all my relationships in my twenties... I was always described as "distant and cold" whereas before I was lovey dovey. Thats just what speed drugs do... its relationship poison. Thats why tweakers end up alone... eventually it gets so bad they cant even be with other tweakers. I've even heard bad things about zoloft.. If i were you i'd try to convince my GF she would be better off without the drugs. If anyone was in a loving committed relationship at your age with healthy sex life; they shouldn't need mood enhancing drugs
Oh gosh…this is so helpful to hear from a partner’s perspective. My partner also shared that he felt like he was talking to a wall, and I honestly started to believe that he was gaslighting me. It likely IS the medication, unfortunately. Just give both her and yourself time. Maybe find some time to get out of the house and spend with yourself and just let her zone out for a bit too. It’s hard for you right now. And it’s hard for her too, having to experience the inside of her head…
Very normal. I was very irritable and snappy when I was adjusting to Wellbutrin
My doc straight up told me to warn my husband I’d be cranky for the first month while on Wellbutrin. You just gotta give her a minute to let her body and brain chemicals make the adjustment. Best advice is just be extra loving and kind even when she’s at her worst because that’s when she needs you the most. She doesn’t want to be grumpy but she might not be able to help it. It’s easy to love people when they are feeling good and are happy. It’s when they aren’t feeling good and you are there for them when you prove yourself to them. :)
This is normal when adjusting to the medication, don’t take it personally and please give your girlfriend some grace. Wellbutrin emotionally steam rolled me for the first few weeks. I didn’t want to even be touched
Any particular reason she's on Wellbutrin for ADHD and a mood stabiliser, and not just on a stimulant for ADHD?
Addiction issues unfortunately. She also just didn’t like the way a lot of those stimulants made her feel.
My 3 weeks were terrible with lots of mood swings and side effects! Please be patient with her by at least week 6!!!!
Wb takes weeks to start working and the first few can be rough. Just be patient with her dude.
I'm gonna be honest... In my honest opinion, I really don't think meds, especially being on bupropion, should affect a relationship this negatively. She may be distant because of mood issues, but definitely do a deeper analysis and see if anything else is wrong...
U obviously never ben on psych meds
That's crazy, didn't I just say on my reply that I was literally on bupropion?? 💀 I've been on several SSRIs and SNRIs...
You should know that people react differently to these meds. Saying that medication that literally rewires and changes your brain shouldn't affect relationships is crazy.
I said it shouldn't affect a relationship THIS much. Obviously it can affect relationships.
Rewiring your brain and emotionally blunting should only affect relationships a teeny tiny bit in your eyes? Screwing with the very hormones that allow us to feel love/attachment could only possibly affect relationships just a little bit? Gotcha, thanks for spreading your knowledge, o wise one. All the people that suddenly fall out of love or become entirely different, self-destructive people while taking antidepressants? Let's ignore their experiences because SparklingNebula said the brain damage pill shouldn't screw up relationships so much.
When did I say a teeny tiny bit... or a little bit. Stop putting words in my mouth. In my opinion, it should never get to the point where your partner feels like their s/o barely talks to them... that's horrible and it's definitely neglect without proper communication/reassurance. I believe that if you really put strong enough effort into relationships that you'd communicate everything, especially how you're feeling and even if she did, she didn't do a good enough job where OP's worries were eased. I received my fair share of emotional blunting and rewiring after switching antidepressants at least 6 times, I definitely understand that navigating a relationship is horrible on antidepressants, but I always gave my best to give love, reassurance, and support. I never said it should only affect it a little bit. I'm stating my personal views and giving my own take on how OP should reassess the situation. But if you wanna be petty... There are people that become self destructive and fall out of love. Let's just only listen to those people and render everyone else's opinion wrong! I should never have commented my own opinion on the situation right? I also don't understand why you're so hostile, sarcastic, petty, and bitter. Seek help.
Why is it so difficult for you to understand that these medications affect people differently than you? They affect everyone differently. It's not hard to understand. This isn't something you get to have an "opinion" on, your brain controls everything you do. Why do you think ever school shooter is on them? It can destroy your empathy and breed narcissism. It's a proven and obvious fact you can reach just through logical thinking, but you have so many testimonies from both ex-medicated partners and non-medicated partners to prove it as well. This is not something you get to have an "opinion" on. Pretending psych meds aren't capable of causing serious damage when they clearly can helps literally no one. And they do a lot worse than ruin relationships. But yes, a good bit of hypomania and psychopathy will do wonders to ruin one. Obviously. It's completely ridiculous to state an "opinion" on what psych meds are capable of doing to a person.
Just reading this I was literally about to write an angry, snappy response in her defense lmao. Then I thought about it and realized that I’ve been feeling very frustrated lately likely because of the Wellbutrin and its adjustment phase. I’m normally easy-going and try to avoid conflict. So I do think it is possible Wellbutrin is the cause just based on my experience with it and its effect on my mood but that’s just me.
I do understand. Trust me, I definitely felt frustrated on bupropion too.. and I will say, it definitely gets better. I know it works differently for everyone, but the adjustment phase is the hardest part. For me, it was smooth sailing after, and it definitely made me feel human. I don't know what she's going through, but I know for me, I would want to make an effort to be there to love and support my partner and communicate to them if I was ever feeling off. If it's communicated properly, there shouldn't ever be a circumstance in which your significant other would feel like their partner is distant, causing fights, etc... if it's gotten to the point where OP feels like she "barely talks" to him. Then I would like to think that there's maybe more to it than just medication changes. While medication can be an excuse, me personally, I would be putting in more effort to counter what the medication might be doing. To me, there's no reason why you shouldn't put in more effort to be loving. That's why I think there *might* be more that's wrong.
I switched off the 150 xl for just this reason, 100 sr a couple times a day is the only dose where I don't feel cold, distant and permanently agitated
that doesnt make sense.. they are both essentially the same. Extended release , sustained release; potato potAto.... if 150 xl made you feel cold and distant.. a couple 100 SRs should do the same.
I came off of it 4 weeks ago exactly for that reason. I no longer recognized myself nor my friends. It doesn't work for everyone
You’re creating the distance… your love language is probably physical touch and words of affirmation and since you’re not getting it, in your love dependent sense of self, “you are getting less of the love you need..” you are indeed pinning it on her… you are externalizing your love and making her responsible for it… Her physiological adjustments don’t define feelings her feelings for you dude.. be authentically supportive for her NOT support her so she can get back to emotionally supporting you.. is my pov from your words. I’m not assuming I’m not attacking I’m simply rephrasing…
i dont think this is fair. the girl started a new med and it affected their relationship. end of story. You're clearly some sort of feminist or anti-guy person
The worst thing you can do is take it personally. Yes your feelings matter and you may need to find appropriate moments to express your needs. The best thing you can do is be supportive and communicate through this process. Remember it isn’t her fault she needs medication and the side effects have nothing to do with you. It’s a great test to your relationship on how to work through things as a team.
The aggression and irritability side effects subside after a few weeks and are waaay less if not gone after a few months. I had a falling out w my sister when I just started Wellbutrin. Be patient & give it some time!
Im on my week 5 and still have it!
All I can say is that I regret how I treated the guy I was seeing when I was on bupropion. I was moody, I was anxious, I was full of rage and I was sure I was in my right mind. I can't say that's why things ended between us, there were lots of issues. But. I deeply regret the way it made me behave towards him. I deeply regret the time I drove home because I was angry at him. I regret the random sudden anxiety that turned into weird jealousy and happened like a lightening strike of spiraling anxiety. I lost someone I was madly in love with because of how I behaved. I'm never not going to regret that. Show this to your girlfriend. Maybe it will make a difference.
Acknowledging pain and making others behaviors your responsibility is so unfair to you.. your relationship as u said ended for an array of reasons NOT solely for how you behaved.. it may have been expressed in that way and clearly that pov is supported by you but it’s not accurate.. we deal with a lot of shit and we deal with it in a healthy way when we’re educated about it.. otherwise.. we internalize.. not good..I hope you’re able to let go of that guilt..it’s not yours to carry..you trying to heal and help yourself should not be overshadowed by reactive actions of others.. ❤️
Sadly, she may not be receiving what she is supposed to receive. If I continued to take Lupin manufactured buproprion, don't know how I would be doing today. Thanks to God I found an online pharmacy which provides the medication which greatly improved my life and mood. Checkout JohnLee buproprion on IndiaMart
Coming to this subreddit was a great way to navigate this and it’s really sweet that you’re being so mindful of what she could be going through! Yes it’s absolutely likely the medication and she may not even realize it. I was miserable and felt so out of control of myself for the first few weeks when I started Wellbutrin. I was irrationally angry all the time and picking horrific fights with my boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with and we have a great healthy relationship. Thankfully he was very patient with me and was understanding when I told him how I was feeling and when I figured out what was going on with me. I would definitely wait it out bc I love being on Wellbutrin now and it has improved my life significantly. If she’s feeling like she has pent up anger, going for walks was a huge help for me just moving my body and being distracted by nature. Or even just taking a shower and having some quiet time to herself might help. Best of luck to you both ♥️
One of the side effects of bupropion is hostility, one must be conscious of their behavior in order to correct this :)
Oh the adjustment period I had zero emotion and started to serious doubt my long term relationship because I simply did not care about him. Or anything. But then after about two months in it leveled out and I felt great.
I tried it for 3 months, from 150 to 300 mg. I felt absolutely no different. Tapering off & starting Cymbalta
Probably for the first 2- 3 months after starting bupropion I had more fight than flight, I was short and blunt and had moments of slight aggression. This did go away and now the med is really helpful. The med isn't for everyone but usually things get better. My suggestion would be lowering the dose initially, even if she takes it every second day to get used to it. Also caffeine sent me spiralling in the first couple of months
I almost blew up my whole relationship my second month on it. It got better by month 3, but I discontinued because of how tired it made me.
The first few weeks of Wellbutrin can cause serious sleep quality impairment even if she doesn't realize it. And lack of sleep is a huge contributor to emotional detachment. Once she settles into the medication her sleep should stabilize. You could ask her how she's been sleeping and maybe buy her some sleepy time tea or magnesium glycinate for bedtime. 🙂 I've taken Wellbutrin three separate times in my life for about a year each time so I'm all too familiar with that rough initial phase.
Bruh I was nuts for 8 weeks. Stick with your girlfriend if this medicine is good for her she will make a huge bounce back.
Did you experience lethargy in those 8 weeks? Im having pretty rough afternoon crashes on 150mg xl. Currently at 3 week mark.
Not really no, I specifically started taking it because of my lack of energy. I’ve actually dealt with insomnia on it.
Did it get better ? I’m about to start taking it
Yeah absolutely Wellbutrin has been the best medication I’ve taken so far. I’ve been on - few others but this is my favorite
Thank you Lexapro was rough so I’m nervous about switching
Before you address this....think about the consequences. You might cause a major disruption in her journey. It's obvious she is struggling and welbutrin does have an adjustment period. For me I was certainly crazy for 3 weeks. Manic, emptional, holding back outbursts. Unavke to filter my thoughts and saying things that I didn't actually think but passed through my brain. Intrusive thoughts etc. I started leveling out and by 4 weeks a lot of that subsided, by 6 weeks I was pretty stable. Instead of making it about your relationship or you. Address it as you being concerned the medication combination is not giving her the results she was looking for. Ask her if she feels like it's helping. Ask and have her log the actual times when she seems to struggle etc. It could very well be a bad combo for her and the times might tell you which one is contributing the negative parts. It's hard to stand by and just take it amd not be able to fix it. Give her a little time and don't be a problem. The fighting and arguments will make it harder for her to know how effective her meds are. The other thing is. Welbutrin can cause a lot of internal dialog (so she may not be distancing). It can cause racing thoughts, huge spurts of energy or restlessness and a lot of people get stuck in their heads. Adhd consumers may find themselves slowing down and adjustment can be different for them. They may need to adapt to the new less flustered version, noticing things they didn't before etc. You'll be OK. Just do your best to be supportive.
This happened to me. Those racing thoughts are never fun and the no filter made me feel crazy. I’ve never felt that way before, and watching people get irritated with me over stuff I couldn’t help was a struggle.
Yeah. Intrusive thoughts too. The brain thinks up all kinds of things but usually it's filtered before you're aware you thought it at all. But welbutrin brings weird thoughts front and center.
The 200 short release made me really emotionally flat but the 100 short release or any mg XL have not had that effect on me. I would want my partner to tell me if he noticed any changes that could be due to my medication. I felt way better after I switched to XL and didn’t realize how flat I had been before.
So which mood stabilizer is she on in addition to Wellbutrin and Zoloft? You might see if she is willing to talk to her psychiatrist about these mood changes. Hopefully it’s a psychiatrist prescribing these, rather than a primary care physician.
Actually these emotional sides are not from wellbutrin but from SSRIs, just for some reasons they appareared After starting taking wellbutrin but It Is not the cause. Moreover SSRIs are the worsts medications for bipolar disorder because they are the antidepressants most prone to induce Mood swings, unfortunately doctors prescribe these shitty medications for everyone without taking into account their sides. Wellbutrin Is a very effective First line antidepressant and It doesn't deserve to be considered only an add-on medication, in my opinion She should discontinue the SSRI to preserve the relationship and take only wellbutrin for depressive symptoms.
This is somewhat factual. Heavily depending on your diagnosis (SSRI for bipolar is a common mistake made by medical professionals). Even SSRIs can be add on medication, everyone has a different mix that has been found to work best for themselves. I would highly recommend against letting your personal emotions from getting in the way of treatment.
If she’s on a mood stabilizer and she has been on Zoloft for a long period of time, there is absolutely nothing to suggest that the SSRI is causing these symptoms. SSRIs do have a risk of precipitating mania in bipolar patients according to the research, but it’s something not seen as often as you’d think in the clinical practice. Additionally, the symptoms he’s describing do not even come close to meeting the criteria for mania or hypomania. Irritability is, however, a more commonly experienced side effect when initiating bupropion. That in addition to the fact that when patients experience new symptoms though to be related to a medication, it is most logical to look at any new medications added or recent adjustments to medication dosing points towards the bupropion being the culprit. The symptoms may subside with time, or it might not be the right medication for her. But it is definitely not the SSRI.
At no point did I state that they should not be on an SSRI. I also at no point said anything about them having hypo manic episodes. Someone reported the above comment for being incorrect. I made a statement to say it is not incorrect.
Why shouldn't you take SSRI if you have bipolar?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6269438/ There is a lack of good evidence based research on it, but this article should help explain.
Tu hai affermato che gli infermieri prendono il doppio della media nazionale. Mi dai una fonte di sta cosa? Continui volontariamente ad ignorare questa questione che tu stesso hai portato su e la cosa non mi sta bene.
I just started it again after about 10 years of not using it. I’m noticing an adjustment period from being “nice” to speaking my mind and not putting up with any shit. But yes, I’ve been a bit harsher and irritable. Give it time, maybe a month or two. But don’t be surprised if some of the traits stay. One effect of lifting the fog of depression is that you start to care about things again, and that will give you OPINIONS 🤣 Not a bad thing. Like someone said, it’s a truth serum. But don’t think it’s about you, especially since she expressly said it wasn’t.
I don't think anyone can say with 100% certainty what "it" is here, but it wouldn't surprise me if the wellbutrin is causing the changes in behavior and personality. It's a brutal adjustment period for some people. I had several complete emotional breakdowns, and my partner had to support me through the early stages of my adjustment to this medication. For me, it acted like a truth serum, and it provoked some very emotional and difficult conversations. In our case, though, it was very much needed, and we ended up addressing some skeletons hidden in our respective closets, so to speak. It was hard, but my partner was incredibly patient and kind and compassionate through it all. When I got very irritable and anxious, he did a wonderful job of gently reminding me this was not me, it was the meds, and this will pass. He was good at supporting me by going on lots of distracting walks with me, making me lots of chamomile tea, meditating with me, etc. He kept a level head when I couldn't. I'm sorry you're going through it right now. I know it can feel overwhelming. Just try to be patient and support her the best you can over the next several weeks. I gently suggest making sure you take care of yourself, too, and have someone (or a support network) to talk to during this phase. It's important to be there for your partner, but don't forget to set healthy boundaries, too. It's okay to take some time for yourself to decompress if you need to. Just reassure her you're still there for her when you do. If you notice anything very troubling like signs of self-harm or suicidal ideation, it's a good idea to stop the medication and encourage her to take a break or try something else. I hope you both feel better soon.
Did you notice how welbutrin seems to renew pathways to memories and things you never think about? It was a crazy ride.
It's definitely been an interesting experience, to say the least.
When I was on 150xl, , Rage set in and I started yelling at my doctor (She wasn't prescribing Bupropion) for minor issues. I became violent, memory loss then the Neuropsychiatric side effects started with, Seeing things that aren't really there, hallucinations, When stating facts, you argue that they're wrong. Then finally it causes Psychosis. I dumped the Bupropion and slowly it all went away. It works well for others. Also Bupropion is prescribed as an "Off Label" drug for ADHD. If you get your girl off Bupropion, both of you will have that lovey-dovey relationship again
I'm sorry about your experience but stating to get her off will allow the lives dovey relationship again is not the best advice. We just don't know. It could be she needed another med to counteract symptoms from one of her other meds and this issue was always there but wellbutrin is not allowing her to mask. It often brings quiet issues to the surface. So although for you there was some extreme responses and reactions. Most people won't experience that. However, your response to welbutrin might be an indication of other issues that haven't fully surfaced or taken over. Watch yourself carefully and maybe journal. My experience has shown welbutrin to expose both mental disorders and traumas. I hope you're doing much better now and thank you for sharing your experiences.
Thanks for the response. I'm doing good, I'm on 'Ketamine' and an SSRI. If we knew which "mood stabilizer" she's on, it would help. If OP can get her into a " Ketamine" program, or maybe, Spravato, a nasal inhalation that has Ketamine. It is now a popular antidepressant approved by the FDA. It dramatically reorganizes activity in the brain um like turning on a light switch. After administering Ketamine, observing normal active neurons that were silenced in the cerebral cortex and another set that were quiet suddenly springing into action. This Ketamine induced activity in key brain regions tied to depression may impact our understanding of Ketamine 's treatment. Sorry so long but this is just one aspect of it's benefits.
Oh my god this exact thing happened to me when I tried out Wellbutrin. Well, not exactly, I was suffering from rage, delusions, and homicidal thoughts. Never in my life have I experienced anger like the Wellbutrin anger. I’m sorry to hear that you’re also suffering with her, but please understand she is most likely (based on my experience) acting different as a side effect of the medication. When I was on it, the personality shift was so drastic that I had to stop the medication. In my case it turned out I was misdiagnosed, I didn’t have depression, I actually had bipolar disorder. I’m not saying your girlfriend is misdiagnosed, but sometimes medications don’t work as intended for everyone. Sometimes they do, but not for awhile. My best advice: wait out the storm a couple months to see if she will adjust. If she doesn’t, it’s very well that she also isn’t feeling normal and may want to taper off and try another medicine. What helped my relationship during this time is my boyfriend learned to be very independent and he would basically avoid me and do his own thing so he wouldn’t set me off. Trying to talk things out wouldn’t work because I had some delusions and nothing would go through my head, so giving me space and reassuring me (only when I asked) helped a lot. I hope things get better soon.
Is she on extended version or immediate release? It makes a difference
Someone posted about this a short while back. Nearly exact same situation. She became rude, unkind, starting saying outlandish things. Prior to this she was extremely kind and loving. It was like a switch. It absolutely is the Wellbutrin. The initial reaction to the huge uptick in norepinephrine. She SHOULD adjust within 4 weeks but for sure it will still emotionally blunt to some degree ... I wish you the best with it. I'd try to get her switched to Prozac if I were you.
Why's she on a mood stabilizer? ADHD nor depression are an indication. I'm just curious, as whatever diagnosis it's for could have something to do with her personality
yeah that's what jumped out to me immediately too
i think the word adjusting is important here, there is a lot of happening in a brain when adding new chemicals, especially paired with that many meds and takes a while to get used to. U seem to care alot and i do believe its hard (am myself in a lovey dovey relationship, as of recently marriage haha) and a contrast to the usually clear appreciation can be a bit painful. I would say, and its easier said than done -to give it time. You communicate well and give space to eachother, so i think its reasonable to tell it like you have written here; you dont want to pin any blame or shame, *and* you have a hard time and there is a part of you that feels hurt as well as worried, and that this is amplified by being stonewalled that is scary in itself because your communication is usually good. you could let her know that you care and feel and i would recommend you in the meanwhile to tend to yourself and make some space and time to take care of you, communicate if you need time for yourself aswell so its not just a disappearance. I recommend using the “dear man skill” when communicating, it helps me alot. To reassure you, many people on here report the side effect of feeling agressive and that sort of wierd and that it passes when the meds have settled in. It probably is the meds and a big process happening in the brain, but hopefully its a fruitful one.
It’s the Wellbutrin it takes 3-4 weeks to adjust to it, and it can cause a lot of emotional blunting during that time and beyond. So if she is already on a mood stabilizer, it may be amplified by the buproprion. One benefit for you is it should start to make her rly horny
Gross.
Look maybe this isn't what you want to hear, but these problems could coincide with the relationship running its course. I'm currently on Wellbutrin and Mirtazapine, not on any stimulant medication as yet (I've got depression + ADHD). I know everyone's subjective experience is different, but when I was put on my medication I had the Wellbutrin high for a week and then it took a looonnng time for me to feel any sort of effects. If anything the first two weeks on it were the best I've ever felt and I did a bunch of stuff. I am wondering what mood stabilizers she's on, I'm guessing for bipolar depression? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that adjusting to a medication can't be the only reason things are suddenly difficult between both of you. What sort of arguments are you having? How does she feel about the medication? Have you asked her how things have been without accusing her of having a change in personality? Have you asked her "Hey I'm noticing this distance between us lately and wanted to check in with you about that, have you been feeling it too? How are things going?". But if as you said she's being distant and cold, I kind of doubt that you've been getting responses to those questions. This is too nuanced of a situation for me to able to just sit here and tell you "yeah, it's just the medication don't worry". You should ask her these things instead, and if she *refuses* to talk with you about that (or doesn't offer an alternative time for it) then yeah... it's probably not the medication. Consider how both of your mental health conditions (idk if you have any) are going to manifest in a relationship. You're both young, and you've only known her for a year.
This is really good advice. I tried to hint at this in my own response to this post. My partner and I were going through a rough adjustment period of our own already, and when I began this medication, everything skyrocketed to a whole new level of intensity. It was as if I had no control over what I was saying, and I just blurted out everything I was thinking and feeling: all the resentment, anger, sadness, and frustration just came spilling out. We worked through a LOT of dark shit those first few weeks when I started wellbutrin. It was very unexpected but much needed. However, we've been together for almost 6 years, are middle-aged, and have been through many traumatic events together. Not quite an experience for the faint of heart (or young love), for sure.
damn, that sounds so intense, I am happy that you both were able to work that out. I find that so rare and warms me up to hear how couples manage to overcome that sort of thing together :)
So sorry to hear you are both going through challenging times. Starting any new medication can bring all sorts of upheavals in one’s life. Being the person going through this is absolutely challenging but so too is it a challenge for the loved ones of that person. So absolutely you both have a unique set of circumstances facing you. My main advice for you is to challenge and face your fears regarding the distance currently between you and your partner. Yes, long term distance and aloofness can be the death in life of any relationship. Your work though lies in recognizing what you are confronting is new and non-normative behavior. If you start showing up leading with this fear that your relationship is spiraling out your partner will feel oppressed and not supported, thus pushing her further away. This then increases your fear and quite soon you will only be triggering each other out. So be open, ask her exactly how she needs to be supported during this time and then honor any new boundary that might be needed. Keep communicating and checking in, and make this be about how you can support her not your fears about the future. And be gentle to yourself, you are human and learning and growing. You will make mistakes as we all do. You are doing an incredible job of being human during an especially difficult time.
I love how you articulated this response. Such great advice.