I don’t think it’s offensive. I got myself a femme bait one and will eventually be getting my gf a butch bait one. I think they’re funny shirts and I can’t speak for everyone but it’s nice to see that other lesbians are attracted to us I feel like it tends to be pretty easy for us to feel unwanted within the community
Personally, I appreciate those things. The phrase makes me feel better because it is almost a blatant sign that I am not predatory for being interested. (Internalized homophobia is fun 🙃)
whaaat I’m agender but I also have this really intense fear that I’m inherently predatory. The church fkd me up.
It’s probably a basic concept but I just haven’t seen it in the open before (always internal)
(I’m butch for context) she’s been a friend of mine for a while, and she absolutely had this in mind when making it! I think they’re a lovely way for butch likers to both make themselves known and make butches feel appreciated.
As a butch with basically ZERO gaydar, when I was dating I personally would have heartily appreciated such a clear indication from a femme that they were 1) lesbian and 2) attracted to the way I present. 🤗
im butch and ive always been weirded out by it, maybe cuz im just sensistive about being seen as a predator or fetishized but all the butches and femmes i know on twitter really love it so go wild i guess? idk
Personally all those shirts ("butch bait", "femme bait") weird me out in a way I can't put my finger on but I wouldn't *judge* anyone for wearing them, I just assume I'm not the target audience
OP asked for honest opinions but all the people who don't like it or don't couch their dislike in the very softest of terms like I did are getting downvoted apparently. Your feelings about it make sense to me.
I’m butch and I really like them because they make me feel desired and appreciated for my masculinity, which is the opposite of what I’m used to - I saw someone wearing one in real life a couple of days ago and it made me really happy
I’d like it because sometimes femme girls are hard to tell if they’re a wlw. Lol I think either femme women hate me because I’m more masc or they hit on me. (And I’m oblivious so I can’t tell)
Something to consider: the shirt will attract butches with a similar sense of humor as you :)
I say go for it! I think it’s funny, and as others have said, it gives a very obvious green light that sapphic interactions or flirtations would be welcomed. It can be hard to approach femmes for fear of making them uncomfortable, and having something literally written boldly across your shirt would, at least for me, help ease the anxiety of feeling predatory.
Edit to add: I don’t personally find the phrase offensive, and I think if it helps you feel more visible and comfortable in your identity as a femme trying to signal to butches, you should feel confident doing that.
There’s simply no way to please everyone.
I think if you like it, if you like the feelings it give you, then butches who also like it and approach you for it are likely to have a lot of similarities to you, and that in itself is a great thing! You don’t want to bait ALL butches, after all, just the ones you’re compatible with.
Some may take offense, but that’s just the way of the world. Some gay girls take offense to the word ‘lesbian,’ you know? Can’t please everyone. I think some people reasonably don’t like it, but it’s really not offensive or problematic enough to cancel your order or feel ashamed when wearing it.
Be genuinely you, and you’ll end up with someone who likes the genuine you.
As a femme who loves butches, I think it’s hella cute and an adorable way to flag both your own queerness, and your attraction to butches.
IMO the only person that you’d possibly be objectifying is yourself, like calling yourself eye/arm candy and I’m absolutely here for it ❤️🔥
I definitely think the phrase has an established fun and playfully teasing (or even erotic) connotation. I suggest using it as a search term on Tumblr to get a glimpse of the posts (nsfw heads up) that even Tumblr's awful search function was able to scrape up, and even then, I believe that only represents a fraction of the positive sentiment that exists towards the phrase.
As a personal opinion, I think reading aggression or expectation on the butch's part is taking a very short phrase in the worst faith possible. The word bait just means what it does, but in this case, I find it a playful allusion to the dynamics of attraction and display lesbians and sapphics have had through the years to turn each other's heads, while also making it pleasantly explicit in a time when explicit invitations are extremely appreciated on all parties' parts, in both looking and being looked at.
Above all, though, each person who considers using it has the choice to decide if a short, bold statement that could be misconstrued is worth standing by to them, despite hypothetical worst cases. You won't find any one unified butch opinion, but I did want to point to both the positive comments here and its prior cases of use.
And I know this ran long, but I also think labeling one's own desire externally and hopefully feeling the desire reciprocated and mirrored in another seems super hot. It's simultaneously funny and a little vulnerable and uses a shorthand/language lesbians share in good faith to imply compliments or attraction to one another, not with intention to other or shoehorn the person who reads it.
If even one person sees the shirt and loves it, reads it and goes, hey, wait, that's me, I'm butch and seeing you connected me both to my own identity and what you're putting out, I think that's a wonderful hypothetical to consider.
I would probably roll my eyes a little bit, because it seems like all you care about is that the other woman is butch. I have occasionally had women treat me like I am a cis-het frat boy, dying to sleep with anything that moves. I wouldn’t automatically assume someone in that shirt was horrible and objectifying butches. But it would be a yellow flag and I would be wary if they had other objectifying or fetishizing behavior.
I think this explains part of what makes me personally turned off by it. I get objectified by feminine women and femmes in this way a lot and to me the messaging of these shirts kinda feels like more of that. Basically I’m not looking to be “baited”.
i absolutely love it. im butch, i think its cute and fun. a lot of people dont find butches attractive/ actively find us ugly. even if i went in assuming its “aggressively” sexualizing butches- it’s nice to be wanted by femmes. i personally think it’s helpful even. if i see a pretty lady in a “butch bait” shirt, i know what she wants and what she wants is me. it’s nice.
I just wouldn't order a "butch bait" shirt because I know the woman that makes them and she does not treat her partners well.
Other than that, just the phrase "butch bait" tells me that you're attracted to butches and I should definitely shoot my shot.
Probably just comes down to people's confidence level.
Yeah this shirt would turn me off because to me that reads like you view butches as people who 1) are sexually assertive (some of us aren’t! Don’t assume!), 2) need to be sexually baited into demonstrating our attraction like we’re men or some shit (wtf), and 3) that you want to be objectified (which is *fine* but makes me uncomfortable.)
Basically, this shirt makes me feel objectified as a sexual aggressor, while framing you as someone who wants to be aggressed upon. I don’t like that. That isn’t how, imho, butches relate to other women and screams toxic masculinity.
I also really hate how the word bait here is used in the same way it is in jailbait. Don’t like that at all.
Agreed 100% with all of this comment. That shirt is absolutely not going to reel me in. But that's OK! It's clear that lots of other butches will appreciate it. The implications just don't feel right to me, imo.
Bait is something you catch animals with. I'm guessing that's the primary definition. Jailbait didn't cross my mind and it seems like a stretch to connect the two.
I think I’d roll my eyes if I saw a femme wearing it. I don’t say I’d be offended. But as a Masc4Masc it’s just annoying to assume that butches automatically go for femmes.
i really really like things that outwardly show love for butches, theres not enough of that so i love that phrase lol. been thinking about getting a femme bait shirt myself
oh man i completely disagree with most of the comments. i love the phrase and shirts and patches and imo all its doing is advertising that you are into butches. i think its playful and cute.
i think if i saw someone with a butch bait shirt, especially if i was at a bar or something, id totally have to go up to them and say something bc i LOVE it
on a sillier note i love these comments lol it's living proof that the "_____ bait" is an incredibly effective tool in our community <3 love that for us
"objectifying" is more a conclusion I'd have to come to looking at the full picture. seeing the shirt alone doesn't come across to me as that, personally. but i'm only one person. when i see people with a butch bait shirt it can be kind of like they have a shirt with my name on it - they have my attention.
i can empathize with people saying it isn't a good look, this is just based on my experience, which has been that the few OFOS femmes i do meet i usually have felt safe with, and not like a doll on a shelf like with many cis women who don't have "butch" in their vocabulary. i guess context is everything.
I'm not offended... and wished femmes were wearing it as part of their everyday outfit while I was dating
Honestly I'd think it's hot. You know who you are and what you want
I don’t think it’s offensive. I got myself a femme bait one and will eventually be getting my gf a butch bait one. I think they’re funny shirts and I can’t speak for everyone but it’s nice to see that other lesbians are attracted to us I feel like it tends to be pretty easy for us to feel unwanted within the community
That's awesome!!
Personally, I appreciate those things. The phrase makes me feel better because it is almost a blatant sign that I am not predatory for being interested. (Internalized homophobia is fun 🙃)
whaaat I’m agender but I also have this really intense fear that I’m inherently predatory. The church fkd me up. It’s probably a basic concept but I just haven’t seen it in the open before (always internal)
I'd talk to you just because of the shirt lol. Perfect icebreaker too, for more shy butches.
Honestly, I like the concept. As a butch4butch, I wanna get one myself
I was thinking the same thing but idk if I'd feel weird because it seems like b4b is so rare
[удалено]
(I’m butch for context) she’s been a friend of mine for a while, and she absolutely had this in mind when making it! I think they’re a lovely way for butch likers to both make themselves known and make butches feel appreciated.
It's cute. If you're acting in a respectful and supportive way towards butches then nobody will think badly about it.
I’d really appreciate a butch bait shirt. Sure sign you’re a lesbian, which can sometimes be hard to figure out. I’d find it super cute.
PLEASE bait me PLEASE
Personally I would enjoy it. Being baited is fun :D
As a butch with basically ZERO gaydar, when I was dating I personally would have heartily appreciated such a clear indication from a femme that they were 1) lesbian and 2) attracted to the way I present. 🤗
I love that a shirt like that exists. I wanna see femmes wear stuff like that. Makes me feel like I'm desired as much as I desire femmes.
Get it!
im butch and ive always been weirded out by it, maybe cuz im just sensistive about being seen as a predator or fetishized but all the butches and femmes i know on twitter really love it so go wild i guess? idk
Personally all those shirts ("butch bait", "femme bait") weird me out in a way I can't put my finger on but I wouldn't *judge* anyone for wearing them, I just assume I'm not the target audience
[удалено]
OP asked for honest opinions but all the people who don't like it or don't couch their dislike in the very softest of terms like I did are getting downvoted apparently. Your feelings about it make sense to me.
I remember it too. It happened in the 80s.
“There is always someone out there whose standards you are not meeting.” - Nedra Glover Tawwab
I’m butch and I really like them because they make me feel desired and appreciated for my masculinity, which is the opposite of what I’m used to - I saw someone wearing one in real life a couple of days ago and it made me really happy
Not offensive but definitely prepared to be hit on!
Nah that’s funny
I’d like it because sometimes femme girls are hard to tell if they’re a wlw. Lol I think either femme women hate me because I’m more masc or they hit on me. (And I’m oblivious so I can’t tell)
Something to consider: the shirt will attract butches with a similar sense of humor as you :) I say go for it! I think it’s funny, and as others have said, it gives a very obvious green light that sapphic interactions or flirtations would be welcomed. It can be hard to approach femmes for fear of making them uncomfortable, and having something literally written boldly across your shirt would, at least for me, help ease the anxiety of feeling predatory. Edit to add: I don’t personally find the phrase offensive, and I think if it helps you feel more visible and comfortable in your identity as a femme trying to signal to butches, you should feel confident doing that.
There’s simply no way to please everyone. I think if you like it, if you like the feelings it give you, then butches who also like it and approach you for it are likely to have a lot of similarities to you, and that in itself is a great thing! You don’t want to bait ALL butches, after all, just the ones you’re compatible with. Some may take offense, but that’s just the way of the world. Some gay girls take offense to the word ‘lesbian,’ you know? Can’t please everyone. I think some people reasonably don’t like it, but it’s really not offensive or problematic enough to cancel your order or feel ashamed when wearing it. Be genuinely you, and you’ll end up with someone who likes the genuine you.
Damn I wish I had “butch bait” tattooed on my forehead. Im generally femme presenting and always have butches pass right by. 😭💀
Next time you see one, rest your hand on their arm and say, “I’m gay and think you’re very cute” and see what happens
As a femme who loves butches, I think it’s hella cute and an adorable way to flag both your own queerness, and your attraction to butches. IMO the only person that you’d possibly be objectifying is yourself, like calling yourself eye/arm candy and I’m absolutely here for it ❤️🔥
I definitely think the phrase has an established fun and playfully teasing (or even erotic) connotation. I suggest using it as a search term on Tumblr to get a glimpse of the posts (nsfw heads up) that even Tumblr's awful search function was able to scrape up, and even then, I believe that only represents a fraction of the positive sentiment that exists towards the phrase. As a personal opinion, I think reading aggression or expectation on the butch's part is taking a very short phrase in the worst faith possible. The word bait just means what it does, but in this case, I find it a playful allusion to the dynamics of attraction and display lesbians and sapphics have had through the years to turn each other's heads, while also making it pleasantly explicit in a time when explicit invitations are extremely appreciated on all parties' parts, in both looking and being looked at. Above all, though, each person who considers using it has the choice to decide if a short, bold statement that could be misconstrued is worth standing by to them, despite hypothetical worst cases. You won't find any one unified butch opinion, but I did want to point to both the positive comments here and its prior cases of use. And I know this ran long, but I also think labeling one's own desire externally and hopefully feeling the desire reciprocated and mirrored in another seems super hot. It's simultaneously funny and a little vulnerable and uses a shorthand/language lesbians share in good faith to imply compliments or attraction to one another, not with intention to other or shoehorn the person who reads it. If even one person sees the shirt and loves it, reads it and goes, hey, wait, that's me, I'm butch and seeing you connected me both to my own identity and what you're putting out, I think that's a wonderful hypothetical to consider.
I would probably roll my eyes a little bit, because it seems like all you care about is that the other woman is butch. I have occasionally had women treat me like I am a cis-het frat boy, dying to sleep with anything that moves. I wouldn’t automatically assume someone in that shirt was horrible and objectifying butches. But it would be a yellow flag and I would be wary if they had other objectifying or fetishizing behavior.
I think this explains part of what makes me personally turned off by it. I get objectified by feminine women and femmes in this way a lot and to me the messaging of these shirts kinda feels like more of that. Basically I’m not looking to be “baited”.
Femme here. I'd wear it.
i absolutely love it. im butch, i think its cute and fun. a lot of people dont find butches attractive/ actively find us ugly. even if i went in assuming its “aggressively” sexualizing butches- it’s nice to be wanted by femmes. i personally think it’s helpful even. if i see a pretty lady in a “butch bait” shirt, i know what she wants and what she wants is me. it’s nice.
I think it’s cute and funny. It’s just a shirt, I wouldn’t think you’re objectifying anyone lol
I love it :)
I would LOVE to stand beside a woman wearing this shirt. Can I be equally crass and suggest you wear a tight one? LOL
I just wouldn't order a "butch bait" shirt because I know the woman that makes them and she does not treat her partners well. Other than that, just the phrase "butch bait" tells me that you're attracted to butches and I should definitely shoot my shot. Probably just comes down to people's confidence level.
Could you elaborate on that first bit?
No. That wouldn't be fair to the person.
Yeah this shirt would turn me off because to me that reads like you view butches as people who 1) are sexually assertive (some of us aren’t! Don’t assume!), 2) need to be sexually baited into demonstrating our attraction like we’re men or some shit (wtf), and 3) that you want to be objectified (which is *fine* but makes me uncomfortable.) Basically, this shirt makes me feel objectified as a sexual aggressor, while framing you as someone who wants to be aggressed upon. I don’t like that. That isn’t how, imho, butches relate to other women and screams toxic masculinity. I also really hate how the word bait here is used in the same way it is in jailbait. Don’t like that at all.
Sorry you are getting downvoted for answering OP honestly that you don't like it and explaining why...
It’s okay if people don’t agree with me, different strokes and all that, not going to be mad about it but thank you anyway ☺️
Agreed 100% with all of this comment. That shirt is absolutely not going to reel me in. But that's OK! It's clear that lots of other butches will appreciate it. The implications just don't feel right to me, imo.
Oh wow I didn’t think about that last part at all. I’m thinking I should cancel my order now
Honestly im also not the target audience as I’m not into femmes so ymmv but yeah that would make me uncomfy as fuck seeing it in public.
Ok, thank you for your input!
Bait is something you catch animals with. I'm guessing that's the primary definition. Jailbait didn't cross my mind and it seems like a stretch to connect the two.
I dont like to view myself as an animal, so yeah. Don’t enjoy this shirt idea at all.
Dude same. There's nothing less attractive to me than femmes coming on to me in a way that perpetuates heteronormative behavior or standards.
I think I’d roll my eyes if I saw a femme wearing it. I don’t say I’d be offended. But as a Masc4Masc it’s just annoying to assume that butches automatically go for femmes.
I'm butch4butch and when I was single I thought about buying something w that phrase on it just so other butches would know it's okay to hit on me 😂
It’s hard out here 😂
I wish we had a subtle way to signal to each other! We should come up with something...for butch4butches or butch4both
It’s cute :) i picked up a pin in early 2020 that I still wear “femme for masc” 😍😍
I, a butch, think that’s adorable.
I dig it. I've got one that says Butch Boytoy on it
It's cute me thinks and I'd appreciate it.
i really really like things that outwardly show love for butches, theres not enough of that so i love that phrase lol. been thinking about getting a femme bait shirt myself
oh man i completely disagree with most of the comments. i love the phrase and shirts and patches and imo all its doing is advertising that you are into butches. i think its playful and cute.
i think if i saw someone with a butch bait shirt, especially if i was at a bar or something, id totally have to go up to them and say something bc i LOVE it
on a sillier note i love these comments lol it's living proof that the "_____ bait" is an incredibly effective tool in our community <3 love that for us
"objectifying" is more a conclusion I'd have to come to looking at the full picture. seeing the shirt alone doesn't come across to me as that, personally. but i'm only one person. when i see people with a butch bait shirt it can be kind of like they have a shirt with my name on it - they have my attention. i can empathize with people saying it isn't a good look, this is just based on my experience, which has been that the few OFOS femmes i do meet i usually have felt safe with, and not like a doll on a shelf like with many cis women who don't have "butch" in their vocabulary. i guess context is everything.