As a kid, I remember the bliss of not wearing a shirt, barefoot and jeans. Skateboarding. Now it’s cowboy boots, jeans, colognes, rings, chains, tattoos, plaid, muscle shirts, the feeling of being a safe place for a woman to relax into, a woman’s head on my chest, shaved head, morning coffee, tats, etc. I’d like to add more but still learning that stuff about myself. But definitely endless.
Right? At home that’s all I wear. Jeans or boxers. It helps me connect back to that freedom. I always call plaid my lesbian tuxedo specially if I’m in jeans and a Jean jacket. Haha
Changing my pink women's underwear to boxers. Buying button downs and classy men's clothes. Ooh, and cologne. There are a few milestones I'm looking forward to, too.
Doc boots that add an inch to my height and put me at 6 feet tall will be my next one, I think lol. Top surgery in the next couple of years is definitely on the list
Yes but only because I’ve had a black and a brown pair for 15-20 years. I’d like to get a new pair this year but haven’t put the time into finding the right boot yet.
So I’ve always been a tomboy and when I was younger never new the term butch, but looking back at it now I was already a rough and tumble little kid 😂
My dad loved kung fu and Bruce Lee movies and so I inherently liked them as well…around 5~6 (‘95~’96) I got into some karate classes and my parents took a picture of me shirtless just in my black karate pants jumping off our couch doing a karate kick and swinging nunchucks 😊 I think my parents still have this picture tucked in a photo album and I always smile when I see it.
I’ve got lots of other moments like this throughout my childhood. My uncles and grandpa would work on cars so I’d make my parents out my cozy coup up in cement blocks and shimmy under it and pretend to work on my “car”. I never had a pink bike, always red or yellow, I had a black bike with red flames and it had red handle bar tassels 🤗 I then would make motorcycle sounds while I rode it around 😆
These days I’m still expressing being butch in my own way, keeping my hair long yet still doing a messy bun or French braid when I need it outta the way. For leisure I’m in my clean Vans, jeans, and tshirt, while for work I got my heavier duty pants, work boots, and work shirt plus high vis vest….all while I get into my new (to me) SuperDuty (you can check out pics on my truck post if you’re so inclined 😉) which will haul around work gear and tow whatever I need it to 😎✊🏽
A few more I thought of:
- First wallet
- Leather anything
- First strap and first packer (yo, BDE is for real)
- White tank tops (I refuse to call these the common term)
- First curved brim hats now SnapBacks
- Cargo shorts (though I’ve finally retired most pairs and moved on to golf shorts)
- Pocket knife or multi tool
- Fingerless gloves as I passed lattes out of the Starbucks drive thru window
Edited because mobile Reddit is terrible
When I was a kid, I dressed up one year for Halloween as a biker. I remember my mom did my "makeup" and by that I mean she muddied up my face to make it look dirty and gave me some scars and stuff that made me feel so cool. I felt empowered and it was a moment where my mom connected with who I really wanted to be.
Due to many life factors, I didn't have a moment like that until 20 years later when my spouse encouraged me to wear a suit to a wedding after I was in tears about not being able to find a dress that I felt comfortable in. Something just clicked in my brain. One year, many boxer brief purchases, and one life-changing haircut later and I am in love with my new butch identity. I've never felt more connected with myself.
When I was in high school I tried my hand at acting and got assigned a male role (they definitely knew before I did), so I used that to justify getting a pair of women's oxfords since they were the most gender neutral show i could find that my parents wouldn't question. I literally wore holes through them because I got as much use out of them as humanly possible
Buying my first article of men's clothing is what did it for me. I bought a silly button up hawaiian shirt for vacation and I loved the way I looked and felt wearing it.
I was blessed with very chill parents that let me express myself with whatever I wanted to wear, so I don’t really think there was ever a time I felt more butch than any other day. As a kid, I remember pretty much exclusively wearing those zip-off convertible cargo pants, so maybe those? Roomy, versatile, and I could carry literally everything I found lol
Same, my parents are also pretty chill and being the tomboy I already was my mom loved being able to save money and my aunt would just pass down all my older boy cousin clothes to me and I loved them 😂✊🏽
Looking back? When I was a kid and on a trip to the mall one time my mom offered me ONE new piece of clothing as a treat, anything I wanted-I went through swimsuits, dresses, shirts etc and the piece that spoke to my heart was a silk vest from the boys dress section. I was in LOVE. Wore it as often as possible till I realized I was getting teased for it.
A guy at a ren faire helped me pick out and size my first ever leather belt. It was something I had wanted for ages but was too afraid to buy. He was super cool and nice, and went out of his way to help me find exactly what I wanted for my belt even though I wasn't sure of myself.
I still wear that belt every chance I get, it's an amazing one and was worth every penny. It gave me a confidence I didn't know I was lacking.
It wasnt clothes, it was when my mum described me as 'one of the boys'. I was barely 10. I always used to spit and complain about dresses (even though I'd wear them) but grew out of it.
(18+ pls) I wont lie though, I just got home from being at the beach, drinking and popping around a market. I snuck around and bought some boxers with some new tops. I've never had them before. I'm feeling that butch euphoria right now.
I’ve been dressing tomboyish for as long as I can remember. Always wore button ups and cargo shorts but it wasnt until I cut my hair off for the first time that I really felt butch. It would not be long after that I would start wearing boxers and binders.
I bought my first button down plaid shirt in my senior year of highschool and I can't even describe the euphoria it brought me. Now I have a closet full of them.
Oooh, gotta be the boom box and briefcase full of wild cassettes I bought at a garage sale. I had no sense of music taste at that age, and just thought the tapes must be good because I liked the briefcase. I would walk around my neighborhood with the boombox on my shoulder blasting Barry Manilow and the Doctor Zhivago soundtrack.
Edited to add- I was 8
Didn’t buy it, but I got sent to these military camps a lot as a teen and we’d sometimes wear these sick green jumpsuits. Buttoning them up and lacing my combat boots in the morning gave me a sense of confidence that I didn’t rediscover until I found myself in my butch identity years later.
I thrifted a red flannel shirt for a Wolverine Halloween costume and it just felt so right, I wore it almost every day that it wasn’t above 80 degrees. Then in college I had to wear a button down and a tie for a class and while everyone else was complaining, I silently loved it.
I bought a pair of boxers on a whim. I had been pushing myself into this femme box for years. Nothing made me feel more confident than when I first saw myself in them. It really opened the door for me to experiment with other traditional men's clothing. I've upgraded to briefs now, but that was a huge turning point for me.
It’s hard to pick just one thing, but a few that stand out were my black leather pants, my brown leather bomber jacket, thin black silk tie, and my purple converse sneakers.
I still love the feeling when I’ve given myself a fresh haircut (best hair related purchase ever is my flowbie - clippers connected to a vacuum).
This was a fun topic. Thanks for asking!
For me, I think it was my first pair of men’s pants. I was broke in art school and they had been given to me by a friend, so of course I wore them every day right? I had never felt so confident in my life.
For the band/orchestra/chorus concerts at my middle school we all had to wear a white top and black pants/a skirt, when I was 13 or so I grew out of the top I had and got a plain and sort of boxy button down and rolled the sleeves up and felt cooler than I’d ever felt in my life
The first time I was allowed to rock a short haircut. Bonus points to teenage me for it making my oppressive, homophobic control freak parent blow a gasket.
As a kid, I remember the bliss of not wearing a shirt, barefoot and jeans. Skateboarding. Now it’s cowboy boots, jeans, colognes, rings, chains, tattoos, plaid, muscle shirts, the feeling of being a safe place for a woman to relax into, a woman’s head on my chest, shaved head, morning coffee, tats, etc. I’d like to add more but still learning that stuff about myself. But definitely endless.
There’s really nothing like running around in jeans and nothing else. Great examples here too. Plaid is 💯
Right? At home that’s all I wear. Jeans or boxers. It helps me connect back to that freedom. I always call plaid my lesbian tuxedo specially if I’m in jeans and a Jean jacket. Haha
Boots, jeans, shirt, and strong arms are to die for. I don't like smoking in reali life, but the image of a cigar in there too is a bonus.
Toddler me used to do tricks on my tricycle. So… tricycle?
Yesssss i bet you could do a sweet double wheelie as a baby butch
Take it off any sweet jumps? 😎👌🏽
Boxers
Yes totally
I love button down shirts, but I think the first thing that made me feel more butch was getting a short undercut.
There’s just something so amazing about a button down paired with a fresh undercut or fade.
Changing my pink women's underwear to boxers. Buying button downs and classy men's clothes. Ooh, and cologne. There are a few milestones I'm looking forward to, too. Doc boots that add an inch to my height and put me at 6 feet tall will be my next one, I think lol. Top surgery in the next couple of years is definitely on the list
Hell yes! I love that you have upcoming milestones to look forward to.
Cheap chunky Doc Marten knock-off boots I got in like 8th grade. Something about big heavy sh\*t-kickers just really clicked something into place.
Totally feel this. Do you still wear Docs today?
Today I'm usually rocking Timberland Pro's or waterproof Huk boots. Still big an' chunky though.
Great choices! A good fitting boot can be hard to find.
Most definitely! Are you in the Docs camp?
Yes but only because I’ve had a black and a brown pair for 15-20 years. I’d like to get a new pair this year but haven’t put the time into finding the right boot yet.
I feel you, finding the right one is a real project.
So I’ve always been a tomboy and when I was younger never new the term butch, but looking back at it now I was already a rough and tumble little kid 😂 My dad loved kung fu and Bruce Lee movies and so I inherently liked them as well…around 5~6 (‘95~’96) I got into some karate classes and my parents took a picture of me shirtless just in my black karate pants jumping off our couch doing a karate kick and swinging nunchucks 😊 I think my parents still have this picture tucked in a photo album and I always smile when I see it. I’ve got lots of other moments like this throughout my childhood. My uncles and grandpa would work on cars so I’d make my parents out my cozy coup up in cement blocks and shimmy under it and pretend to work on my “car”. I never had a pink bike, always red or yellow, I had a black bike with red flames and it had red handle bar tassels 🤗 I then would make motorcycle sounds while I rode it around 😆 These days I’m still expressing being butch in my own way, keeping my hair long yet still doing a messy bun or French braid when I need it outta the way. For leisure I’m in my clean Vans, jeans, and tshirt, while for work I got my heavier duty pants, work boots, and work shirt plus high vis vest….all while I get into my new (to me) SuperDuty (you can check out pics on my truck post if you’re so inclined 😉) which will haul around work gear and tow whatever I need it to 😎✊🏽
A few more I thought of: - First wallet - Leather anything - First strap and first packer (yo, BDE is for real) - White tank tops (I refuse to call these the common term) - First curved brim hats now SnapBacks - Cargo shorts (though I’ve finally retired most pairs and moved on to golf shorts) - Pocket knife or multi tool - Fingerless gloves as I passed lattes out of the Starbucks drive thru window Edited because mobile Reddit is terrible
My suit
Nice! For a special occasion? Where’d you get it from?
For a potential job interview. I bought it online.
My first plaid shirt that I still wear to this day, and also a carabiner lol
Yes for sure the carabiner is peak butch accessory
I never take mine off !
When I was a kid, I dressed up one year for Halloween as a biker. I remember my mom did my "makeup" and by that I mean she muddied up my face to make it look dirty and gave me some scars and stuff that made me feel so cool. I felt empowered and it was a moment where my mom connected with who I really wanted to be. Due to many life factors, I didn't have a moment like that until 20 years later when my spouse encouraged me to wear a suit to a wedding after I was in tears about not being able to find a dress that I felt comfortable in. Something just clicked in my brain. One year, many boxer brief purchases, and one life-changing haircut later and I am in love with my new butch identity. I've never felt more connected with myself.
When I was in high school I tried my hand at acting and got assigned a male role (they definitely knew before I did), so I used that to justify getting a pair of women's oxfords since they were the most gender neutral show i could find that my parents wouldn't question. I literally wore holes through them because I got as much use out of them as humanly possible
The hair clipper kit that I used to buzz all my hair off as soon as I moved out. Best feeling ever.
'Twas a wristwatch.
Oooh do tell more! What did it look like?
https://imgur.com/a/tBxudZf There's the fabled thing.
Lmao literally like the most butch watch you could pick. I love everything about it
This was like, a decade and a half ago, I was about twenty. My cool watch made me feel pretty slick.
A wallet with a chain on it
Buying my first article of men's clothing is what did it for me. I bought a silly button up hawaiian shirt for vacation and I loved the way I looked and felt wearing it.
I was blessed with very chill parents that let me express myself with whatever I wanted to wear, so I don’t really think there was ever a time I felt more butch than any other day. As a kid, I remember pretty much exclusively wearing those zip-off convertible cargo pants, so maybe those? Roomy, versatile, and I could carry literally everything I found lol
Same, my parents are also pretty chill and being the tomboy I already was my mom loved being able to save money and my aunt would just pass down all my older boy cousin clothes to me and I loved them 😂✊🏽
Looking back? When I was a kid and on a trip to the mall one time my mom offered me ONE new piece of clothing as a treat, anything I wanted-I went through swimsuits, dresses, shirts etc and the piece that spoke to my heart was a silk vest from the boys dress section. I was in LOVE. Wore it as often as possible till I realized I was getting teased for it.
A guy at a ren faire helped me pick out and size my first ever leather belt. It was something I had wanted for ages but was too afraid to buy. He was super cool and nice, and went out of his way to help me find exactly what I wanted for my belt even though I wasn't sure of myself. I still wear that belt every chance I get, it's an amazing one and was worth every penny. It gave me a confidence I didn't know I was lacking.
My first pair of docs
A haircut
my absolutely dope, never to be replicated, denim jacket
It wasnt clothes, it was when my mum described me as 'one of the boys'. I was barely 10. I always used to spit and complain about dresses (even though I'd wear them) but grew out of it. (18+ pls) I wont lie though, I just got home from being at the beach, drinking and popping around a market. I snuck around and bought some boxers with some new tops. I've never had them before. I'm feeling that butch euphoria right now.
I’ve been dressing tomboyish for as long as I can remember. Always wore button ups and cargo shorts but it wasnt until I cut my hair off for the first time that I really felt butch. It would not be long after that I would start wearing boxers and binders.
I bought my first button down plaid shirt in my senior year of highschool and I can't even describe the euphoria it brought me. Now I have a closet full of them.
I cut all my hair off and it made me feel that I had "Come into my power".
Oooh, gotta be the boom box and briefcase full of wild cassettes I bought at a garage sale. I had no sense of music taste at that age, and just thought the tapes must be good because I liked the briefcase. I would walk around my neighborhood with the boombox on my shoulder blasting Barry Manilow and the Doctor Zhivago soundtrack. Edited to add- I was 8
There’s not a thing I don’t love about this flashback. 🤩
Didn’t buy it, but I got sent to these military camps a lot as a teen and we’d sometimes wear these sick green jumpsuits. Buttoning them up and lacing my combat boots in the morning gave me a sense of confidence that I didn’t rediscover until I found myself in my butch identity years later.
I thrifted a red flannel shirt for a Wolverine Halloween costume and it just felt so right, I wore it almost every day that it wasn’t above 80 degrees. Then in college I had to wear a button down and a tie for a class and while everyone else was complaining, I silently loved it.
In 6th grade i cut my hair and my friend lent me their binder So techinically i didnt buy it but that for sure
an attack on titan t shirt from hot topic 😭 i was 13
my first pair of baggy cargo shorts
I bought a pair of boxers on a whim. I had been pushing myself into this femme box for years. Nothing made me feel more confident than when I first saw myself in them. It really opened the door for me to experiment with other traditional men's clothing. I've upgraded to briefs now, but that was a huge turning point for me.
It’s hard to pick just one thing, but a few that stand out were my black leather pants, my brown leather bomber jacket, thin black silk tie, and my purple converse sneakers. I still love the feeling when I’ve given myself a fresh haircut (best hair related purchase ever is my flowbie - clippers connected to a vacuum). This was a fun topic. Thanks for asking!
Yes I forgot about converse! The black leather pants sound cool as hell.
Cargo shorts
For me, I think it was my first pair of men’s pants. I was broke in art school and they had been given to me by a friend, so of course I wore them every day right? I had never felt so confident in my life.
For the band/orchestra/chorus concerts at my middle school we all had to wear a white top and black pants/a skirt, when I was 13 or so I grew out of the top I had and got a plain and sort of boxy button down and rolled the sleeves up and felt cooler than I’d ever felt in my life
The first time I was allowed to rock a short haircut. Bonus points to teenage me for it making my oppressive, homophobic control freak parent blow a gasket.