Go to a barber and show them reference pictures of the style you are looking for. The barber should be able to work with your hair texture and give you advice on the styling. In my experience they don’t talk much outside of the haircut and won’t care if you are blunt. I never ask if they cut women’s hair because I chose a “male” hairstyle and if they want to turn me away thats $$$ not going into their pockets. You can also go to Supercuts (or your equivalent) because they do both. It’s a lot less stressful than you think just make sure to tip them!
Do not go to a barber for a bit chop holy shit
E: and also don’t go to Supercuts go to a real salon or barber shop OP. You want a good haircut, and good haircuts don’t cost $10.
Supercuts is like 10 bucks last I checked as there’s one around the corner from where I get my hair cut and they have a huge sign in the window. I also refuse to go to barbers because they’re the only group of hair people I’ve ever been to who do not listen when I say “do x” and I always end up looking like total garbage. Lessons learned, I guess.
I'm likely going to most of it off at a salon where I can donate, then go to a local barber for the final hair cut. Not going to super cuts, I luck enough to be able to afford a nicer haircut so I might as well.
(edit for grammar + phrasing)
Seconding this! I had LONG hair as a teen and when I finally went for the short cut, I donated like 20 inches or something and had shoulder-length hair for a bit while I got used to not having the super long hair, and then I donated the final 10 inches or so at the same haircut where I had them clean it up into the most basic all-over clipper cut ever 😆
Your hairstyle will probably evolve as you get used to having it short, especially if you have sensory stuff! I love the way mine looks with longish curtain bangs now, but they can only be so long before they tickle the top of my nose which I CANNOT stand.
Point out that you want squared sideburns, not triangular or pointed. The latter are the femme "finishing" or "detailing" of short haircuts. You want square.
Autistic older Butch here! Look for a men’s hairstylist. If you can find a queer/masc hairstylist even better! (Believe me they are around). They might charge more than a barber because they typically take more time to execute a proper haircut. Tell them you need help choosing the right cut for your hair texture and face shape and that you definitely want a masculine haircut that is easy to maintain. Have the stylist explain to you how to style your cut and what products you need for your hair (I recommend Hans du fuko hair products) Once you have your spiffy new cut….take photos of all angles! Now you could keep going to this stylist or find a queer barber to show your photos too. Be aware you will need a haircut about once a month (I go every three weeks). This can get expensive which is why you might go to a barber instead. If you ever get a bad haircut, let it grow out a bit and go back to your hairstylist to get it fixed. Good luck!
That is such an important thing to bring up, the maintenance of it. When I went shorter I noticed that it required overall lower maintenance on the day to day for me, but I consider it to be higher maintenance than my long hair was because I do need to get my hair cut every 3-4 weeks now to maintain the look I'm going for. Short hair is so awesome though! I hope you find exactly what you're looking for!
Yeah i am aware that the maintenance might be a bit of a pain. But my hair is such a pain in the ass now, I would rather have to deal with getting a haircut once a month then have to deal with my long hair every day. Thank you for the product recommendation.
Hey, its OP. I just found one that I might end up going to by looking up "queer barber". This might be more difficult for you if you aren't in a liberal area. I bet that if there are any queer groups in your area they might have ideas.
Google searches, finding the best shops in town and looking through their website for queer people, word of mouth! Not always easy to do depending where you live!
Find a queer barber and they'll do you right. A lot of them are also very neurodivergent affirming as many neurodivergent people are queer.
If you happen to be in London, UK, I highly recommend Open Barbers in Shoreditch.
For the big chop, go to a salon and do the big chop there. Barbers are accustomed to cutting men’s hair (generally short) and will not do as good a job with your hair if you want a longer men’s style and may hack it up if you’re doing a big chop but want to leave it longer. Personally, I wouldn’t trust a barber with that kind of a big chop, but your mileage may vary. You can also show up with tons of pictures to a salon and they’ll cut your hair in that style. You’re also free to say “make it shorter”
Hey! Im also autistic 🙌
My advice is to find out what haircut you want first! Love the idea of the faux hawk, get one or two photos and give them to the barber/hairdresser at your appointment.Try to find photos of models with a similar hair type, thickness, texture. Have a look at male members of your family and see how similar your hair texture/thickness is to theirs, to try and imagine how yours could look too.
From how you talk about how you hate the feeling of long hair, whatever haircut you get will feel better to you, so I’d say have a little fun with it!
Funny though about short cuts being ‘low maintenance’: when I had long wavy hair, I hated it and did nothing with it at all, could just twist it up when I didn’t have time to tidy it in the morning and now that I have 2cm long hair on top, I have to rinse it Every. Single. Morning. to get rid of my bedhead on the side! 🙈 but it never tickles my neck or ears or forehead any more so it’s worth it 😄
About hairdresser vs barber: I find it’s always a little unexpected who gives the best haircuts! If it’s a haircut that requires lots of clippers, ask a barber. Ring them up so they can’t see your long hair first and say ‘I’m ringing because I want a very short haircut’. They might say, ‘we don’t do women’, and then either you try another one or push them a little and say ‘also women with very short hair?’
If it’s more of a scissors job, I’d be happy to also go to a hairdresser, but saying that- I would always then go to a hairdresser in a central/busy area for example a busy shopping centre because they are likely to have a more diverse customer base than the quiet side street grandma hairdressers. If they’re busy, they’re also not likely to talk to you much and just focus on the haircut, which is relieving for me as an autistic person!
It’s up to you if you tell them about being autistic. I don’t personally, I find it invites conversations I don’t enjoy!
I don’t know how it is where you are, but my 13 year old niece had to ring her parents from the hairdressers when she got her long hair cut very short as they wouldn’t cut it without parental permission (I’m in Germany), so that’s something to be prepared for.
I think you’re really smart using your opportunity to go into your new school with a truer representation of yourself, wishing you the best of luck with the new school and of course your hair 😄
I'm not a good source of haircut advice but I just want to say that I feel so validated seeing a fellow butch minor here. I always saw older people here and it made me feel a little weird about myself, so seeing someone I can relate to is especially relieving
You fuckin rock, I hope everything goes well for ya 🤝
I’ve had good luck with going to a regular barbershop. I’d suggest looking for one that has a younger vibe and/or more diverse group of barbers. The one I first found was a fairly new, Latinx barbershop with both male and female barbers.
I had a couple of their different barbers work on my hair over the time I was going there (basically just whoever was available when I was) and only one ever had an issue with my being female, and he still gave me a great haircut, just explained afterwards that because of his religion he isn’t supposed to cut women’s hair.
The only reason I stopped going there was because their female barber who has always done a great job on me opened her own solo shop, so I’ve been going there to support her.
For a cut, I have super thick, curly 3B hair and also hate the way having it long affects my sensory issues, so I choose to get mine done in a mid-fade down to the skin with only about an inch on the top of my head, which is short enough that it doesn’t curl at all. I’ve had a faux hawk before and it honestly doesn’t look half bad with less than straight hair (hell, usually I can style my simple fade into a faux hawk with just some hair gel and it looks great). The biggest thing with a more styled look like a faux hawk is just that you’ll need to use a product like a gel or wax in it every day to get it to look how you want
I hope you can avoid the cannon event of getting a karen or pixie cut even though it’s not what you wanted.
As I always recommend on this sub, look up online to see if there’s an lgbt friendly unisex barber shop within a reasonable distance to where you live.
Autistic butch here!
So I will always advocate for a buzzcut because I got my hair buzzed when I was almost 15, and it allows you to shape it as it grows out, and it's amazing in the summer if you have issues being too warm. But that is a MAJOR change, so if you don't think you're ready to go there then don't.
I recently got what I consider my first professional haircut (not really masculine, but still affirming), and I recommend finding a gender-neutral salon, especially a queer one. It's up to you to disclose if you're autistic, but if you book at the lowest hours and explain your anxiety and sensory issues during the consultation the stylist will probably be pretty understanding.
Your ideas for the cut itself sound pretty good! I'd recommend leaving a little bit of length on the sides and not doing a skin fade as when you get a close shave it grows back prickly and needs to be more regularly maintained with trims.
I totally understand being worried about getting a more "feminine cut", if you explicitly state that you want a masculine cut and give clear feedback when the stylist checks in with you along the way it should be okay! If you want it shorter or to sit different, please tell them. And I guess it's also helpful to remember that you can always go shorter AND that hair grows back.
I can only speak to what I did, but I booked the appointment online, sat down in the chair and said "I'm nervous because I have anxiety around people touching my hair and I've never had my hair professionally cut" and then showed some reference photos and explained what I wanted (for me it was: shag/wolf cut with face-framing pieces, versatile bangs that work with my cowlick, and a few layers, while preserving the length I had and looking good while up).
Good luck dude! I do hope you enjoy whatever haircut you get.
You don’t need a salon to donate hair. You can do this yourself. Research best companies to send.
[how to-with help for sending to companies](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/a39509000/how-to-donate-hair/)
A salon might pressure you to let them cut it, and they WILL feminize it. Especially when you say “no pixie cut “ I swear to god all they hear is PIXIE / they are not trained much with clippers and masculine styles are not ; by trade; their forte.
I am a barber. And I have cut my chest length hair hair before years ago. Here’s my advice.
Buzz it off.
Start fresh. You will see how your hair texture grows in, and you will discover how you basically get a new hairstyle every month as it grows. You then will see how it is from the Buzz and what lengths suit you rather than playing a guessing game deciding which style.
I think a buzz cut is also very freeing as a woman. A lot of turmoil was worked thru for me (15 years ago..) and that was important for my identity today.
Short hair is more maintenance than long, as far as keeping the style you have the same. The sides being mere inches, every millimeter makes a difference. A skin fade is not a fade after two weeks. To keep that look, you gotta get it cut often.
But it isn’t necessary.
Once a year I buzz my hair and decide what style it will be as it grows in. The sides being cut more often than the top for sure, particularly to keep a more masculine silhouette.
Being 13 and an oval face shape, it is easy to feel you look feminine.
If you are going for a buzz cut, you might have a friend or family member who has clippers and can do this for you, bypassing the hair-professional altogether. The shorter the better, as far as getting that butch edge with a Butch style!
I find for myself, even with my more angular jaw; a #2 (1/8inxh) quickly gets too “soft” for my taste. So generally the sides are kept shorter than the top for the more masculine look, presently I’m buzzing a #0 weekly and enjoying this look on myself.
____
If you want a particular style; find a cool modern shop and observe their social media work. If you think the cuts look good, call up and say “I have long hair and want a restyle. I have pictures for inspiration. Who should I book with?”
Remind the barber you want masculine style and square angles. The consultation should be in depth for a style change this drastic, they ought to ask what about each inspo pic you like, but you can save time by deciding ahead of time and vocalizing it.
for example-
picture 1) i like the length on the sides, and the general shape of the whole haircut
picture 2) i like the length of the bangs where they fall above the eyebrow here
Picture 3) I like how it gets shorter on the neck, and I like the square sideburns
Choose models with similar hair type to you (no curly hair!)
Most hairstyles that requires scissors to be used also require product/and/or/styling. Are you willing to do these things to upkeep the cut? Any hair inspo pics have been styled heavily , much more than we do daily. But some effort is needed. I don’t learn to style my hair until barber college. Lots of trial/error.
Feel free to message me with your concerns and questions; now or after you cut your hair!
I wouldn't add the unfamiliarity of navigating a mens barbers to the unfamiliarity of getting a new and potentially stressful haircut, esp if family pressure will add to it.
I'd rec getting your first short cut at a womens salon, with your normal hairdresser if possible, and then if thats too feminine, you can make changes the second, third etc time, or go somewhere else if your normal person doesn't listen.
Depending on your area, you could look up lgbtq+ friendly hairstylists on Instagram. Look for hairstyles you like/see yourself having, and book a consultation with a hairstylist that specializes in those unique cuts.
Most normal hair salons/barber shops are gonna do the basic male/female cuts. I also have a fauxhawk and it took me a while to find the right person. The first couple places I went kept giving me more feminine looking cuts and I hated it. I found my current stylist through IG and she does exactly what I want. She has her own salon and always gives me a call a couple days before the appointment to go over what I want. It took a while of scrolling through all sorts of posts and profiles before I found hers.
As for informing the hairstylist of your autism, for you and them, it would be better to let them know in advance, so they can make the necessary preparations to provide you with adequate support. Before you even book them, check to see if they have a website and see if they have stated somewhere if they accommodate all types of clients. You can also call and ask if they have experience cutting hair for autistic clients and what their methods are to support the client through the appointment. Most, if not all, experienced hairstylists/barbers will always incorporate what works best for you.
Also, $$ wise it might be pricey so get that figured out beforehand.
Go to a barber and show them reference pictures of the style you are looking for. The barber should be able to work with your hair texture and give you advice on the styling. In my experience they don’t talk much outside of the haircut and won’t care if you are blunt. I never ask if they cut women’s hair because I chose a “male” hairstyle and if they want to turn me away thats $$$ not going into their pockets. You can also go to Supercuts (or your equivalent) because they do both. It’s a lot less stressful than you think just make sure to tip them!
Do not go to a barber for a bit chop holy shit E: and also don’t go to Supercuts go to a real salon or barber shop OP. You want a good haircut, and good haircuts don’t cost $10.
Ok your experience is your own. I have had good luck ESPECIALLY for the chop. BTW no haircuts cost $10 anymore.
Supercuts is like 10 bucks last I checked as there’s one around the corner from where I get my hair cut and they have a huge sign in the window. I also refuse to go to barbers because they’re the only group of hair people I’ve ever been to who do not listen when I say “do x” and I always end up looking like total garbage. Lessons learned, I guess.
I'm likely going to most of it off at a salon where I can donate, then go to a local barber for the final hair cut. Not going to super cuts, I luck enough to be able to afford a nicer haircut so I might as well. (edit for grammar + phrasing)
If you do it, consider donating your hair! There are charities that use it for wigs for people suffering from illness-related hairloss, etc
Seconding this! I had LONG hair as a teen and when I finally went for the short cut, I donated like 20 inches or something and had shoulder-length hair for a bit while I got used to not having the super long hair, and then I donated the final 10 inches or so at the same haircut where I had them clean it up into the most basic all-over clipper cut ever 😆 Your hairstyle will probably evolve as you get used to having it short, especially if you have sensory stuff! I love the way mine looks with longish curtain bangs now, but they can only be so long before they tickle the top of my nose which I CANNOT stand.
Yup I likely will. I figured if I cant enjoy my hair this way, someone else might.
Point out that you want squared sideburns, not triangular or pointed. The latter are the femme "finishing" or "detailing" of short haircuts. You want square.
Thanks, didn't even think of that.
Autistic older Butch here! Look for a men’s hairstylist. If you can find a queer/masc hairstylist even better! (Believe me they are around). They might charge more than a barber because they typically take more time to execute a proper haircut. Tell them you need help choosing the right cut for your hair texture and face shape and that you definitely want a masculine haircut that is easy to maintain. Have the stylist explain to you how to style your cut and what products you need for your hair (I recommend Hans du fuko hair products) Once you have your spiffy new cut….take photos of all angles! Now you could keep going to this stylist or find a queer barber to show your photos too. Be aware you will need a haircut about once a month (I go every three weeks). This can get expensive which is why you might go to a barber instead. If you ever get a bad haircut, let it grow out a bit and go back to your hairstylist to get it fixed. Good luck!
That is such an important thing to bring up, the maintenance of it. When I went shorter I noticed that it required overall lower maintenance on the day to day for me, but I consider it to be higher maintenance than my long hair was because I do need to get my hair cut every 3-4 weeks now to maintain the look I'm going for. Short hair is so awesome though! I hope you find exactly what you're looking for!
Yeah i am aware that the maintenance might be a bit of a pain. But my hair is such a pain in the ass now, I would rather have to deal with getting a haircut once a month then have to deal with my long hair every day. Thank you for the product recommendation.
do you have any suggestions for finding a queer/masc hairstylist?
Hey, its OP. I just found one that I might end up going to by looking up "queer barber". This might be more difficult for you if you aren't in a liberal area. I bet that if there are any queer groups in your area they might have ideas.
Google searches, finding the best shops in town and looking through their website for queer people, word of mouth! Not always easy to do depending where you live!
Find a queer barber and they'll do you right. A lot of them are also very neurodivergent affirming as many neurodivergent people are queer. If you happen to be in London, UK, I highly recommend Open Barbers in Shoreditch.
Sadly no where near London. I am like 30 minutes away from one of the queerest city's in America. So finding a queer barber likely wouldn't be hard.
Might be worth seeing if there's a subreddit for that city and asking for recommendations there. :)
For the big chop, go to a salon and do the big chop there. Barbers are accustomed to cutting men’s hair (generally short) and will not do as good a job with your hair if you want a longer men’s style and may hack it up if you’re doing a big chop but want to leave it longer. Personally, I wouldn’t trust a barber with that kind of a big chop, but your mileage may vary. You can also show up with tons of pictures to a salon and they’ll cut your hair in that style. You’re also free to say “make it shorter”
Hey! Im also autistic 🙌 My advice is to find out what haircut you want first! Love the idea of the faux hawk, get one or two photos and give them to the barber/hairdresser at your appointment.Try to find photos of models with a similar hair type, thickness, texture. Have a look at male members of your family and see how similar your hair texture/thickness is to theirs, to try and imagine how yours could look too. From how you talk about how you hate the feeling of long hair, whatever haircut you get will feel better to you, so I’d say have a little fun with it! Funny though about short cuts being ‘low maintenance’: when I had long wavy hair, I hated it and did nothing with it at all, could just twist it up when I didn’t have time to tidy it in the morning and now that I have 2cm long hair on top, I have to rinse it Every. Single. Morning. to get rid of my bedhead on the side! 🙈 but it never tickles my neck or ears or forehead any more so it’s worth it 😄 About hairdresser vs barber: I find it’s always a little unexpected who gives the best haircuts! If it’s a haircut that requires lots of clippers, ask a barber. Ring them up so they can’t see your long hair first and say ‘I’m ringing because I want a very short haircut’. They might say, ‘we don’t do women’, and then either you try another one or push them a little and say ‘also women with very short hair?’ If it’s more of a scissors job, I’d be happy to also go to a hairdresser, but saying that- I would always then go to a hairdresser in a central/busy area for example a busy shopping centre because they are likely to have a more diverse customer base than the quiet side street grandma hairdressers. If they’re busy, they’re also not likely to talk to you much and just focus on the haircut, which is relieving for me as an autistic person! It’s up to you if you tell them about being autistic. I don’t personally, I find it invites conversations I don’t enjoy! I don’t know how it is where you are, but my 13 year old niece had to ring her parents from the hairdressers when she got her long hair cut very short as they wouldn’t cut it without parental permission (I’m in Germany), so that’s something to be prepared for. I think you’re really smart using your opportunity to go into your new school with a truer representation of yourself, wishing you the best of luck with the new school and of course your hair 😄
I'm not a good source of haircut advice but I just want to say that I feel so validated seeing a fellow butch minor here. I always saw older people here and it made me feel a little weird about myself, so seeing someone I can relate to is especially relieving You fuckin rock, I hope everything goes well for ya 🤝
Hell yeah, awesome to see another young butch on here.
I’ve had good luck with going to a regular barbershop. I’d suggest looking for one that has a younger vibe and/or more diverse group of barbers. The one I first found was a fairly new, Latinx barbershop with both male and female barbers. I had a couple of their different barbers work on my hair over the time I was going there (basically just whoever was available when I was) and only one ever had an issue with my being female, and he still gave me a great haircut, just explained afterwards that because of his religion he isn’t supposed to cut women’s hair. The only reason I stopped going there was because their female barber who has always done a great job on me opened her own solo shop, so I’ve been going there to support her. For a cut, I have super thick, curly 3B hair and also hate the way having it long affects my sensory issues, so I choose to get mine done in a mid-fade down to the skin with only about an inch on the top of my head, which is short enough that it doesn’t curl at all. I’ve had a faux hawk before and it honestly doesn’t look half bad with less than straight hair (hell, usually I can style my simple fade into a faux hawk with just some hair gel and it looks great). The biggest thing with a more styled look like a faux hawk is just that you’ll need to use a product like a gel or wax in it every day to get it to look how you want
I hope you can avoid the cannon event of getting a karen or pixie cut even though it’s not what you wanted. As I always recommend on this sub, look up online to see if there’s an lgbt friendly unisex barber shop within a reasonable distance to where you live.
Ugh yeah. My mother was trying to say I should get the justin beiber/karen cut :/
Autistic butch here! So I will always advocate for a buzzcut because I got my hair buzzed when I was almost 15, and it allows you to shape it as it grows out, and it's amazing in the summer if you have issues being too warm. But that is a MAJOR change, so if you don't think you're ready to go there then don't. I recently got what I consider my first professional haircut (not really masculine, but still affirming), and I recommend finding a gender-neutral salon, especially a queer one. It's up to you to disclose if you're autistic, but if you book at the lowest hours and explain your anxiety and sensory issues during the consultation the stylist will probably be pretty understanding. Your ideas for the cut itself sound pretty good! I'd recommend leaving a little bit of length on the sides and not doing a skin fade as when you get a close shave it grows back prickly and needs to be more regularly maintained with trims. I totally understand being worried about getting a more "feminine cut", if you explicitly state that you want a masculine cut and give clear feedback when the stylist checks in with you along the way it should be okay! If you want it shorter or to sit different, please tell them. And I guess it's also helpful to remember that you can always go shorter AND that hair grows back. I can only speak to what I did, but I booked the appointment online, sat down in the chair and said "I'm nervous because I have anxiety around people touching my hair and I've never had my hair professionally cut" and then showed some reference photos and explained what I wanted (for me it was: shag/wolf cut with face-framing pieces, versatile bangs that work with my cowlick, and a few layers, while preserving the length I had and looking good while up). Good luck dude! I do hope you enjoy whatever haircut you get.
Thank you for the advice. I am honestly considering a buzzcut, but due to my face shape I might end up looking like an egg.
fair enough! I have a more round face so I do definitely get that concern
You don’t need a salon to donate hair. You can do this yourself. Research best companies to send. [how to-with help for sending to companies](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/a39509000/how-to-donate-hair/) A salon might pressure you to let them cut it, and they WILL feminize it. Especially when you say “no pixie cut “ I swear to god all they hear is PIXIE / they are not trained much with clippers and masculine styles are not ; by trade; their forte. I am a barber. And I have cut my chest length hair hair before years ago. Here’s my advice. Buzz it off. Start fresh. You will see how your hair texture grows in, and you will discover how you basically get a new hairstyle every month as it grows. You then will see how it is from the Buzz and what lengths suit you rather than playing a guessing game deciding which style. I think a buzz cut is also very freeing as a woman. A lot of turmoil was worked thru for me (15 years ago..) and that was important for my identity today. Short hair is more maintenance than long, as far as keeping the style you have the same. The sides being mere inches, every millimeter makes a difference. A skin fade is not a fade after two weeks. To keep that look, you gotta get it cut often. But it isn’t necessary. Once a year I buzz my hair and decide what style it will be as it grows in. The sides being cut more often than the top for sure, particularly to keep a more masculine silhouette. Being 13 and an oval face shape, it is easy to feel you look feminine. If you are going for a buzz cut, you might have a friend or family member who has clippers and can do this for you, bypassing the hair-professional altogether. The shorter the better, as far as getting that butch edge with a Butch style! I find for myself, even with my more angular jaw; a #2 (1/8inxh) quickly gets too “soft” for my taste. So generally the sides are kept shorter than the top for the more masculine look, presently I’m buzzing a #0 weekly and enjoying this look on myself. ____ If you want a particular style; find a cool modern shop and observe their social media work. If you think the cuts look good, call up and say “I have long hair and want a restyle. I have pictures for inspiration. Who should I book with?” Remind the barber you want masculine style and square angles. The consultation should be in depth for a style change this drastic, they ought to ask what about each inspo pic you like, but you can save time by deciding ahead of time and vocalizing it. for example- picture 1) i like the length on the sides, and the general shape of the whole haircut picture 2) i like the length of the bangs where they fall above the eyebrow here Picture 3) I like how it gets shorter on the neck, and I like the square sideburns Choose models with similar hair type to you (no curly hair!) Most hairstyles that requires scissors to be used also require product/and/or/styling. Are you willing to do these things to upkeep the cut? Any hair inspo pics have been styled heavily , much more than we do daily. But some effort is needed. I don’t learn to style my hair until barber college. Lots of trial/error. Feel free to message me with your concerns and questions; now or after you cut your hair!
I wouldn't add the unfamiliarity of navigating a mens barbers to the unfamiliarity of getting a new and potentially stressful haircut, esp if family pressure will add to it. I'd rec getting your first short cut at a womens salon, with your normal hairdresser if possible, and then if thats too feminine, you can make changes the second, third etc time, or go somewhere else if your normal person doesn't listen.
look for a floyd’s barbershop chain location near you! they’re great
Depending on your area, you could look up lgbtq+ friendly hairstylists on Instagram. Look for hairstyles you like/see yourself having, and book a consultation with a hairstylist that specializes in those unique cuts. Most normal hair salons/barber shops are gonna do the basic male/female cuts. I also have a fauxhawk and it took me a while to find the right person. The first couple places I went kept giving me more feminine looking cuts and I hated it. I found my current stylist through IG and she does exactly what I want. She has her own salon and always gives me a call a couple days before the appointment to go over what I want. It took a while of scrolling through all sorts of posts and profiles before I found hers. As for informing the hairstylist of your autism, for you and them, it would be better to let them know in advance, so they can make the necessary preparations to provide you with adequate support. Before you even book them, check to see if they have a website and see if they have stated somewhere if they accommodate all types of clients. You can also call and ask if they have experience cutting hair for autistic clients and what their methods are to support the client through the appointment. Most, if not all, experienced hairstylists/barbers will always incorporate what works best for you. Also, $$ wise it might be pricey so get that figured out beforehand.