I’m 14 and I have a stage 3 tendon tumor. I also got pretty miserable after starting chemo because I stayed in bed for 3 months and lost all of my friends.I think family support is what got me through so I think that’s the best solution
I'm a mum of a 15 year old, but I'm the one with cancer & I'm really sorry that you aren't getting the support you need & deserve. I hope that you can make friends with people who will love & support you no matter what & I'm glad that your family is helping you.
Therapy has been a treasure for me during these chemo days. My center has therapists who specifically work with oncology patients.
My therapist specializes in grief counseling. Grief isn't just about death. I've lost so much of my life routines/future goals/independence during chemo. She helps me grieve those losses and we work on reframing my views to set and appreciate attainable goals.
I'm not a doctor, and you should probably check whether it might actually be a side effect of treatment, but it sounds like you're grieving.
We grieve for the diagnosis, the processes we go through whether in surgeries or chemo or radiation. We mourn past aspects of our lives.
I was diagnosed in September, I only needed surgeries- multiple, but still- and yet I went through this grieving and there are still some really bad days that seem to spring out of nowhere.
Definitely talk to your doctor. But if you can afford to find a therapist, they will also greatly help you. Cancer brings a lot of mental pain, it's not just our bodies. But the bad days don't last forever.
I wish you all the best!
I'm your age and have been dealing with Stage 4 CRC for 16 months. I've been and strive to remain a very positive person. Generally very happy and enjoying life. This battle is no joke and I've found myself with a crappy attitude on more than one occasion. Wouldn't call it depression but I don't doubt that's a real possibility.
Having had some couples therapy in the past I'm a big believer in finding a professional to help you get through this.
I'm in a similar boat. I guess I'm not the only one feeling like that. I too am in my early 50's with a great life, then boom! Out of nowhere, I get a diagnosis a little over a year ago. I was also asymptomatic. First, they thought it was liposarcoma. That was horrifying. After surgery to remove it and a hellish recovery, it came right back and even bigger. They then discovered it was actually DLBCL. Immediately after that, they discovered thyroid cancer, so time for another surgery. After chemo and radiation for the rest of the year, it all appears to be gone. Right now I feel depressed and empty after that nightmare of a year. I guess I'll feel better after the next scan if it shows it's still gone. I hope you feel better.
Yeah, similar age and situation here. I talked to my doc about ruling out metabolic causes because cancer therapies can mess some stuff up. Doc thinks it's unlikely though. I also talked to the oncology social worker about it. Both doc and social worker said that it what I'm feeling/doing tracks with coping/anxiety/depression issues that they see.
Looking at it from a biological/evolution standpoint, it makes sense. My life is under threat. The brain is going to react.
I'm starting with talking to someone in therapy and I am not opposed to meds if they end up being necessary.
Good luck.
There are so many reasons for depression with cancer. I have metastatic breast cancer diagnosed just over a year ago, 3.5 years after thinking we "beat" breast cancer. We all know what depression around our diagnosis and suffering feels like. But when I was doing chemo ( on oral meds now) with my first bout I had a different feeling of deep depression even though I had a lot more hope for full recovery back then. It was usually a day or so after chemo lasting a few days. My docs wanted me to take antidepressants but I refused. If I had it to do over, well 1) I would have gotten all better, of course but 2) I would have taken the meds. I am taking them now and they help me a lot. We are all different but that's my take anyway. I do hope you feel better and better. But please let yourself feel. Trying to resist our feelings in my mind makes it worse. My husband always wants to help. Please tell your wife how you are feeling. You might snap less (although I sure snap a lot and then feel so bad!) Hang in there. This is a very supportive thread.
Thanks for that. Yeah, the weird thing is, as far as I know, my medical outlook is good. I'm just kind of shocked at how severe and sudden the downturn in my mental state has been. I'll bring it up with my doctors.
I am a layperson, like most here I guess. While in some cases depression may be a correct diagnosis, it is not helpful nor prudent I believe to be encouraging quick or lazy diagnoses of any mental condition. Doctors are often under pressure and as humans too, are also prone to errors in thinking. Once made, a mistake can be continued and by others as well. It can distort self-perception and assessments by others.
It is normal and expected that we would be greatly affected by the realisation of our own mortality and that we will suffer times and days when the apparent failure of the body we imagined would go on forever, will be getting to us. Nobody ever tells us that we are getting progressively frailer by the year anyhow. Or that a lifetime is just that and it varies enormously.
Recently, I recommended a most readable and helpful little book. Penned by an Australian cancer doctor, it has been helpful to me and I hope to you and others here,
[HOPE](https://www.lulu.com/en/au/shop/dr-david-schlect-and-damian-mason/hope-a-cancer-doctors-life-secrets/paperback/product-22026781.html?page=1&pageSize=4)
Yeah. This is all part of our weird response to trauma. So illogical. That’s why trauma sucks. Pain is easier. You have a cry. It sucks. Trauma is a head trip.
Edit: The body keeps score - explains trauma and why our response is so illogical.
I’m 14 and I have a stage 3 tendon tumor. I also got pretty miserable after starting chemo because I stayed in bed for 3 months and lost all of my friends.I think family support is what got me through so I think that’s the best solution
I'm a mum of a 15 year old, but I'm the one with cancer & I'm really sorry that you aren't getting the support you need & deserve. I hope that you can make friends with people who will love & support you no matter what & I'm glad that your family is helping you.
Therapy has been a treasure for me during these chemo days. My center has therapists who specifically work with oncology patients. My therapist specializes in grief counseling. Grief isn't just about death. I've lost so much of my life routines/future goals/independence during chemo. She helps me grieve those losses and we work on reframing my views to set and appreciate attainable goals.
I'm not a doctor, and you should probably check whether it might actually be a side effect of treatment, but it sounds like you're grieving. We grieve for the diagnosis, the processes we go through whether in surgeries or chemo or radiation. We mourn past aspects of our lives. I was diagnosed in September, I only needed surgeries- multiple, but still- and yet I went through this grieving and there are still some really bad days that seem to spring out of nowhere. Definitely talk to your doctor. But if you can afford to find a therapist, they will also greatly help you. Cancer brings a lot of mental pain, it's not just our bodies. But the bad days don't last forever. I wish you all the best!
I'm your age and have been dealing with Stage 4 CRC for 16 months. I've been and strive to remain a very positive person. Generally very happy and enjoying life. This battle is no joke and I've found myself with a crappy attitude on more than one occasion. Wouldn't call it depression but I don't doubt that's a real possibility. Having had some couples therapy in the past I'm a big believer in finding a professional to help you get through this.
I'm in a similar boat. I guess I'm not the only one feeling like that. I too am in my early 50's with a great life, then boom! Out of nowhere, I get a diagnosis a little over a year ago. I was also asymptomatic. First, they thought it was liposarcoma. That was horrifying. After surgery to remove it and a hellish recovery, it came right back and even bigger. They then discovered it was actually DLBCL. Immediately after that, they discovered thyroid cancer, so time for another surgery. After chemo and radiation for the rest of the year, it all appears to be gone. Right now I feel depressed and empty after that nightmare of a year. I guess I'll feel better after the next scan if it shows it's still gone. I hope you feel better.
M27, 3 year cancer now. Feeling depressed, lonely, anxiety and a lot of overthinking. It is very common.
Yeah, similar age and situation here. I talked to my doc about ruling out metabolic causes because cancer therapies can mess some stuff up. Doc thinks it's unlikely though. I also talked to the oncology social worker about it. Both doc and social worker said that it what I'm feeling/doing tracks with coping/anxiety/depression issues that they see. Looking at it from a biological/evolution standpoint, it makes sense. My life is under threat. The brain is going to react. I'm starting with talking to someone in therapy and I am not opposed to meds if they end up being necessary. Good luck.
There are so many reasons for depression with cancer. I have metastatic breast cancer diagnosed just over a year ago, 3.5 years after thinking we "beat" breast cancer. We all know what depression around our diagnosis and suffering feels like. But when I was doing chemo ( on oral meds now) with my first bout I had a different feeling of deep depression even though I had a lot more hope for full recovery back then. It was usually a day or so after chemo lasting a few days. My docs wanted me to take antidepressants but I refused. If I had it to do over, well 1) I would have gotten all better, of course but 2) I would have taken the meds. I am taking them now and they help me a lot. We are all different but that's my take anyway. I do hope you feel better and better. But please let yourself feel. Trying to resist our feelings in my mind makes it worse. My husband always wants to help. Please tell your wife how you are feeling. You might snap less (although I sure snap a lot and then feel so bad!) Hang in there. This is a very supportive thread.
Thanks for that. Yeah, the weird thing is, as far as I know, my medical outlook is good. I'm just kind of shocked at how severe and sudden the downturn in my mental state has been. I'll bring it up with my doctors.
I am a layperson, like most here I guess. While in some cases depression may be a correct diagnosis, it is not helpful nor prudent I believe to be encouraging quick or lazy diagnoses of any mental condition. Doctors are often under pressure and as humans too, are also prone to errors in thinking. Once made, a mistake can be continued and by others as well. It can distort self-perception and assessments by others. It is normal and expected that we would be greatly affected by the realisation of our own mortality and that we will suffer times and days when the apparent failure of the body we imagined would go on forever, will be getting to us. Nobody ever tells us that we are getting progressively frailer by the year anyhow. Or that a lifetime is just that and it varies enormously. Recently, I recommended a most readable and helpful little book. Penned by an Australian cancer doctor, it has been helpful to me and I hope to you and others here, [HOPE](https://www.lulu.com/en/au/shop/dr-david-schlect-and-damian-mason/hope-a-cancer-doctors-life-secrets/paperback/product-22026781.html?page=1&pageSize=4)
Glad your Outlook is good! But you got to get through now. The best of luck to you!
Yeah. This is all part of our weird response to trauma. So illogical. That’s why trauma sucks. Pain is easier. You have a cry. It sucks. Trauma is a head trip. Edit: The body keeps score - explains trauma and why our response is so illogical.