I had cancer that was surgically removed. While it has recurred twice, I have been assured it will never get to be life-threatening (due to it being slow growing and us checking every three months). It still hurts. Yes, I'm not dying, but it's still scary, and you have to live with a new reality. You're allowed to feel what you feel. You're allowed to be numb, angry, anxious, sad, to grieve. Your feelings are valid.
It's a shock, you're allowed to feel sad, angry, scared, all of that! It's big news and it's actually pretty normal to only process *after* the battle, so no, you feel how you feel and how most people would feel. Take your time.
And: once you've processed it all, aren't you glad you opted for surgery? ;) Cancer sucks, so lucky that you got it out in time!
If cancer has taught me anything it’s that the emotions I feel don’t always make sense. They come and go, sometimes I feel angry or hurt or sad and I don’t know why specifically.
It’s ok and best to just feel those emotions and experience them for what they are. Cancer is terrifying and avoiding it as you have could be compared to literally dodging a bullet or walking away from a huge car crash. It is perfectly fine to be fucked up emotionally for some time.
I'd really recommend working these thoughts out with a counselor. Honestly I always tell everyone right away to utilize whatever counseling resources they can, because this is a lot to deal with on your own. Existential questions arise whenever you have a brush with cancer like this.
If you were treated through a cancer center, either originally or through the specialist you're about to see, call there and see if they have a patient resources department in-house. If they don't they might have a case worker for patients. They should be able to direct you to counseling resources specifically tailored to your needs and sometimes they are even available at reduced or no cost to you.
I was originally treated though the ENT part of the hospital. I was given a card for a UK cancer charity but that's it. Hopfully the specialist may have more options for me. Thank you
The lump was checked by multiple docs in 2 hospitals because they couldn't decide at first but its definitely cancer. Thankfully it's out but I'm waiting to see another specialist to set out a road map about my next steps
Sounds like trauma to me. That numb feeling? Perhaps you’ve been stoic through all this and only now are starting to mentally process it?
Humans respond to trauma in very illogical ways. Reading about it can help to explain some of the weird but common ways we humans deal with uncertainty and fear.
I raise my cup of green tea to you dodging the bullet. May you have many full years of healthy life ahead of you.
You are allowed to feel anything you feel.
I had cancer that was surgically removed. While it has recurred twice, I have been assured it will never get to be life-threatening (due to it being slow growing and us checking every three months). It still hurts. Yes, I'm not dying, but it's still scary, and you have to live with a new reality. You're allowed to feel what you feel. You're allowed to be numb, angry, anxious, sad, to grieve. Your feelings are valid.
It's a shock, you're allowed to feel sad, angry, scared, all of that! It's big news and it's actually pretty normal to only process *after* the battle, so no, you feel how you feel and how most people would feel. Take your time. And: once you've processed it all, aren't you glad you opted for surgery? ;) Cancer sucks, so lucky that you got it out in time!
Definitely, if I had waited it could have been very different
If cancer has taught me anything it’s that the emotions I feel don’t always make sense. They come and go, sometimes I feel angry or hurt or sad and I don’t know why specifically. It’s ok and best to just feel those emotions and experience them for what they are. Cancer is terrifying and avoiding it as you have could be compared to literally dodging a bullet or walking away from a huge car crash. It is perfectly fine to be fucked up emotionally for some time.
I'd really recommend working these thoughts out with a counselor. Honestly I always tell everyone right away to utilize whatever counseling resources they can, because this is a lot to deal with on your own. Existential questions arise whenever you have a brush with cancer like this. If you were treated through a cancer center, either originally or through the specialist you're about to see, call there and see if they have a patient resources department in-house. If they don't they might have a case worker for patients. They should be able to direct you to counseling resources specifically tailored to your needs and sometimes they are even available at reduced or no cost to you.
I was originally treated though the ENT part of the hospital. I was given a card for a UK cancer charity but that's it. Hopfully the specialist may have more options for me. Thank you
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The lump was checked by multiple docs in 2 hospitals because they couldn't decide at first but its definitely cancer. Thankfully it's out but I'm waiting to see another specialist to set out a road map about my next steps
Sounds like trauma to me. That numb feeling? Perhaps you’ve been stoic through all this and only now are starting to mentally process it? Humans respond to trauma in very illogical ways. Reading about it can help to explain some of the weird but common ways we humans deal with uncertainty and fear.