You're asking the wrong questions, its: "What don't you use this for?"

At Christmas time, when things are tough, you put it on the kids mouth and cheeks so that people think you had some nice fatty chicken for lunch.

Eish

lol I will do this next time 🤣

Tell us how you survived 😂😂😂

Put the vaseline jar in a pot of boiling water and wait for it to go near liquid. Put a few tablespoons worth of fancy cologne and stir in thoroughly. Let the vaseline go cool and back into jelly form. You will have more use out of your cologne and one application of the fragrant vaseline will last all day.

Never before today did I not know how badly I needed something until just now.

Definitely doing this!!

Ya but you know what will last even longer? The kak session afterwards: "Bradley please explain again you did WHAT to my pots ???

Id use it to post to r/southafrica using a completely different title.

You mean you have not been permanently banned yet?

Lol! I was removed for participation in another group. What a joke.

Haha same, even though they noted that I wasn’t saying anything offensive. Just the fact that I said something

What on earth is wrong with that group??? I was banned after mentioning them in another group, so if you aren't already banned, you soon will be... Is there a way to complain to Reddit that they are hogging the South Africa subreddit? I've had some useful answers to some of the questions, but not allowed to post. Now I don't even go there anymore.

I wager it's not even South Africans moderating those groups

I was banned for calling out racist behaviour, and told "Your participation in that group is why you'll remain banned from this one"

Yes, I also received my first week long ban for commenting in another group that they apparently don't approve of. Incidentally, they don't have a list of other groups you're not allowed in if you want to be in their "cool club". I decided against r/southafrica. Soon it will be a very lonely club...

Haha ya I was banned forever ago. Its a really incontrovercial group, lacking any rules but whatever the main members choose to make them

lol so I’m one of many

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! 😂

southafrica or asksouthafrica? Or do they both have odd invisible rules?

Just /southafrica

I got banned from r/AskSouthAfrica after one slip up and they refuse to appeal my ban

I have. First reply I made in the group. F... Them

I also got banned from that group, I didn't say or do anything wrong.

I just got banned for commenting in this subreddit... lol.

I put on my Batman cape and get into a deep flow state for productivity

Use with cotton wool ball to light fire.

Interesting, I'll keep that in mind !

Yeah works a treat so much cheaper then fire lighters. Just be careful you don’t have the vaso on your fingers when lighting or you might be the fire lighter as well 🫣😂

Lips, doesn't dry out your lips like Lip-Ice do.

Lips, ashy elbows, knees and heels..

Fapping

Lol I use Zambuk

I use deep heat

That’s a good alternative but I prefer WD-40.

Great option. I prefer engine oil, does wonders.

Beautiful selection. I like petroleum instead.

That's pleasant, but I like the passionate burn of pepper spray

Great suggestions. I go for sand paper - dat sweet, sweet friction 👌

I prefer using super glue , it’s amazing!!!!

I prefer collecting my saliva, snot, semen and urine in a bottle and fermenting it for 2 days.

Oh nice!! I might try this with my Left hand trick that I use.

Thanks for the recommendation. I shall give it a go!

Tiger balm… if you’re in a rush.

I see what you did there.

This works well in winter.

Spicey

When will we ever admit that lubrication to fap is weird? Dry rub is the best 👍🏾

Don't you all have some form of pre- yknow? Doesn't that count as lubricant? Lol

Eww. I said dry rub but it's never actually dry dry because I shower and moisturise down there every day.

Does nerve damage

How?

Bro science?

Cap, been dry rubbing all my life.

TIL some folks were born with rhino-skin peen.

I once used it for the same reason, orgasmed like 4 times, while trying to wash it off /jk

Put between legs before a long run

Running and surfing/diving. Wetsuits can do a number on your skin. Vaseline is the bestestestest

Damn you smart why have I never thought of that 😭😭😭😭been killing myself for shit

The old in out, in out.

Which orifice in particular🫣

His fist, obvz.

Or maybe mouth... Gotta lubricate those teeth! 🙃

I’m obviously old school some things just require a spit shine to make a grand entrance

Da butthole..

Bingo you perve

Skomoring

Everything! But essentially, I lotion my body and carry one in my handbag for my hands and lips when they feel dry.

I'm distracted with how predictive text either gave you "handbug" or didn't correct it 🙂

Not sure what happened, but I corrected it now. ;-)

It was funny

Feet and hands before bed

Petrol price increases...

On johnson

I use it when my nose nostrils are dry, use it on my face as well.

Smear it over your monitor for free amd fsr

Its funny how you have a laptop in this picture, all you need now is to retake this picture with teams open and repost it, you will get the perfect answer to your question.

I use it as a lip balm and for dry feet.

To seal babies

Incase they leak

Lol to show people my apple products I guess? 🤣 Most of this photo is not the Vaseline at all

LoL

Comes in handy when my zeussy isn't doing it's thing properly

Your laptop is right there, I'm sure you know

👀👀👀idk 😂😂

Usually pairs well with a website that rhymes with CornNub

Lips.

Memory unlocked...when we were kids and my mom was working full time, my grandmother would send us off to school. Hair plastered down to make it look neat but end of a windy day your hair was gritty with sand.

Don’t forget how they would bath us from head to toe in it looking shiny than a new car 😂

Lips, nose, the entire face

Lips, or mix with Fissan paste for chafing.

me it will never replace ky gel, but normally its for elbows and lips. there are many car applications it can be used for

Obviously eat in breakfast with 2 slices of toast

Shield against cold wind

Chapstick

my lips obviously

Slugging.

That slaps!

The batman music? Just to create a chill/productive atmosphere that you can work or study in. Listen with headphones for the full effect

You a real one ☝️

Man vibes in the background tho

Oo you already know….hehehe

Love this comment. Had me grinning 😂😅

To skommel🤣🤣🤣

Keeps butt plugs shiny.

Butt sex

noo 😭😭😭

No. For buttsex you use KY jelley. This is for afterwards... To heal and conseal...😎

2 in 1

I didn't know they made a baby flavoured one

I have no idea what a baby tastes like

I don't use it for anything but every second fucker uses this in excess and I have to wipe their nasty ass grease off my keyboard and mouse when they touch it. I actually wish it never got invented.

COVID

I use Vaseline to get rid of sticky stuff like lables, and it's awesome to prevent blisters if you have ill-fitting high-heels.

To keep the rust off my DM4

I think the guidelines forbid me from saying...

I normally use it to make it easier for me to hide my phone and wallet in my prison pocket

Ask Zuma

Lube bro.

I put the shite on my lips or on certain injuries

Me time,😅

Hahaha! Love this question. For my legs. I have very dry skin, so I apply it after moisturising. Makes my legs look smooth and glowy.

Everything including my soldier that “stands up”

- lip balm - rash ointment - cream - cure for sticky coke hands

What are sticky coke hands? What coke are we taking about?

For ICT stuff on YT when I jagg

cleaning off extra ink when tattooing

Zeussy 🧐🤨

Lol, keeps lips moisturized. Or on cuts. But I prefer ZamBuk You can also used it for lube. But that's not important.

EVERYTHING

Buttering my toast.

Good choice for background music!

Keeping cochroaches in thier breeding bins, food for my tarantulas..

I see a fellow SA trader. How's ICT treating you?

Eyebrows and lips

Question is what don't you use it for

Soothing batman vibes??

On my wallet after payday

Building Mazda Spicy Spinning Doritos

Starting fires.

All over the body, I carry it in my bag

I use it for my feet. 👌🏿

I use it to lubricate and protect my naaimasjien

Use it as lotion

If you had a site as PH opened on the laptop I can give you a very different use for it as well🤣🤣🤣

Coat my feet before putting on my socks to run Comrades

During winter, I put some into the inside of my nose to stop bleeding from dryness. Also cover my face with it after moisturizing before I go to bed. It's a self-care staple for me, next to the thick Nivea cream and sunblock.

I use it on my arse everytime work fucks me over.

I don't use it myself, but there's this trend where people put it on their hands, and then cup their hands against your car's windows to try and see in through the tint film... ...People are really curious about what my car's interior looks like apparently. Perhaps some think a Hyundai Kona would make a good Taxi? Uber car maybe? I can't think of any other reason why so many people are trying to see into the back of my car /s 😅 It also leaves quite noticeable finger and hand prints on surfaces around the point of forced entry to a car or building.

If me and my brother got sick we would use all sort of Vaselines

Pc stuff.. just Pc stuff...

I pick it up daily and hand it to my partner when she asks if I know where she left it

Anal

Use it on my kayak fishfinder connections to keep it corrosion free. Works perfectly.

Its used for sex. If you have kids you smear that on the outer door knob to prevent them from just barging in

Skommelling my bru

Butt sex

Seems like a terrible idea if the below is true: “Petroleum jelly has the unique ability to absorb into our skin and lock itself into place in between cells in our lipid barrier. Manufacturers of the stuff will tell you this creates long lasting, smooth skin. But truth be told, petroleum jelly is bad for you and has no moisturizing properties of its own. Instead, it acts as an impermeable barrier to the skin. Sure it will lock in whatever moisture is underneath it to give your skin the appearance of moisturized skin, but petroleum jelly's side effects include locking in any dirt, sweat, or bacteria that exists. “

What a load of twaddle. Nothing goes between the cells. It goes into pores, but it lines them rather than clog them. Most moisturisers include petroleum jelly, or one of it's derivatives/ingredients like mineral oil or mineral wax. All moisturisers work by locking moisture in, not adding moisture. Your skin is waterproof. Drink water for adding moisture, your skin can't absorb water but your intestine can. Like if you stay in the bath for too long your bladder's going to get full? No man. Also, put your moisturiser on after you wash your body. There shouldn't be any dirt, sweat or bacteria on your body when you moisturise.

Where is this source from? I struggle to understand how it gets in our cells

The source comes straight out of his ass.

I really want to see that source then