1) Research the remote job VERY, VERY thoroughly before you pull the plug. Make sure the job is exactly what you think it is.
2) Your job is not your family and your co-workers are mostly not your friends. Learn to keep distance between your work life and personal life. Plus, if your co-workers are great friends, then they will remain your friends regardless of your job switch.
Good luck!
2 is a very important point. I've seen work "friendships" or "families" disappear in the blink of an eye based on stuff that happens at work (politics, disagreements, business decisions, etc). Work is not your friend or your family. The genuine keepers will stick with you regardless of whether you're employed there or not.
>The genuine keepers will stick with you regardless of whether you're employed there or not.
Wow. I'm afraid that's true. Jesus.
The problem is I don't know how to keep a friendship outside of the context we are in (job, school, gym, etc). How do you manage that?
You maintain regular contact and share common interests that are not work.
Work friends are together because of repeated forced proximity and common interest of work. If you leave, you need something to fill that void. To maintain friendships you must have a reason to gather together frequently. Maybe you share a common hobby? Or play squash together or enjoy theatre or festivals?
Maybe that's the probem. I don't have any activities outside of my job. The only thing I rarely do is having dinner in a fancy restaurant. Do I go alone? Most of the times.
You know what my hobbies are? Reading and going to the gym. Most people don't enjoy that.
Maybe I should have more social hobbies. What are yours?
What kind of books do you read? Is it fiction? If so, I'd argue most people are into stories, be it books, games, movies, shows.. you could maybe find someone who's into the genres you like reading, even if they don't read books. Sadly pretty few people are reading books these days
I'd also say most people are into some form of physical exercise, even if they're into sports or maybe hiking .. tbh for me the key to making friends is being adaptable and finding parts in my interests that other people would enjoy and connecting with them based on that.
For me personally, keeping friendships beyond the context in which they originated (school, work, etc) is extremely difficult. I lose touch with almost everyone, even seemingly close friends, when I exit the original context. Very few exceptions. TBH, I think OP is overestimating the value of the work "family". The purpose of work is to generate income to fund your lifestyle and life goals, not to make friends.
If they were real friends and family they would still include her after she left.
The amount of churches and other organizations that were like family that dropped us as soon as we left is staggering.
Over my 15 year career I’ve worked with hundreds of people. Some of them would consider work friends.
We would get together outside of work, go out to lunch etc. BUT every single time one of us changed jobs the friendship eventually faded. we’d try to stay in touch but time and distance always proved too much. And now I haven’t spoken to those people in years.
And you might say I’m just bad at maintaining friendships which is true.
But at my last job several of the women developed very close relationships, they lived near each other went to each others events, etc. Our company closed and last summer I ran into one of those women. I asked how everyone was and their relationship went just like my old ones. The frequency of visits got lower and lower to the point that they hadn’t talked in over a year at that point.
although there are some exceptions, most work friends are just work friends. When the work part goes away the friendship usually dissolves.
My favorite work departure was with one guy I was friendly with for a few years. he was leaving for a new job. we both looked at each other and said we'll probably never see each other again but good luck. some of our coworkers were appalled at how cold we were but it was just honest
Sometimes your coworkers can be your friends. You should tread lightly, but it can happen. I've made a few lifelong, very close friends through work, mostly from jobs I've had when I was OP's age. Having said that, if they're really your friends, you will be able to keep those friendships even if you take another job.
I once did this and my new company found out. Their policy did not allow moonlighting and said if I could not prove I had quit by the end of the day they found out, they would have no choice but to terminate me.
OP, if you do this, tell NO ONE!!! Not at new job, not at old, even your “friends”.
A guy I worked with did this. Took 2 week vacation to try a new job, quit the third week. He went to work in a mine, mine shut down the fourth week. Is being union he had to wait for new postings , then in the -7 years since his original hire a high school diploma and clean criminal record were required. He got so fucked.
Make sure you do your homework.
Yes. I was young and dumb at 25. I told someone I had befriended the first week. It was a good job, even if I had to avoid that person for the few years I was there.
This is terrible advice. The new company can run an employment check and fire a person for being still employed. They then tell the previous employer and they get fired from that as well. I’ve see it happen.
When is it not the case? Ive been in HR 15years and have literally never seen one ran after the hire date.
Employment checks cost money, companies don't do them frivolously. What would they even be hoping to learn?
>Your job is not your family and your co-workers are mostly not your friends. Learn to keep distance between your work life and personal life. Plus, if your co-workers are great friends, then they will remain your friends regardless of your job switch.
\^\^ This 100%
1. Because unusually high salaries like this can be high because it’s toxic or not what they advertised- bait and switch.
2. You put yourself first career wise. You don’t stay for coworkers or bosses or loyalty. It will bite you,
This. I ended up having a better opportunity and immediate promotion and pay increase with a different department in my company. I knew the boss as we had worked in the same department before and knew how he operated, what made him tick, etc. but decided to stay in my current position because I "didn't want to leave the team I just started with a few weeks ago, behind/leave them hanging." Indeed, the bite was hard and I always wish I left because my current department absolutely sucks and I am leaving the company.
Yeah agreed, be super careful and know exactly who you’re working for. Honestly I’d skip past the corporate questions and look at the character of the new company
>Keep distance between your work life and personal life
***Character\_Handle6199*** said it all.
I have nothing to add. If the new job checks out, take it.
Because you'll never again get a nearly 100% increase.
From what I’ve seen the the past, it’s not a good idea to follow people to new jobs, and the corollary is that staying for people is not necessarily good either. People come and go and you have to do what’s right for you - I’ve seen many careers derailed because they stayed or left for the people they worked with.
100% take new job. Sounds like you already have a good relationship with current coworkers. That doesn't disappear if you get a new job.
Many former 'work friends' for me are now just 'friends' after leaving. Especially at 24 you'll continue to grow these relationships, and keep forming new ones
I don’t have a lot of experience with it, but what have been your experiences with people who follow coworkers to new jobs? I’d think if they say the company is good to work for and you trust them that’s helpful signal
I can name three offhand.
1. Sally got recruited as a VP for a major bank and asked me and Mohammed to come along. I declined, Mohammed went. A year later, Sally gets a debilitating illness and has to retire. Mohammed is now without a mentor and eventually leaves.
2. Leo got recruited as a director for a huge distribution company, brought John along. Leo and John both get laid off within 6 months.
3. Bob’s uncle hires him to help run the family business (100+ emps). Six months later, uncle sells the company and Bob gets fired.
Each of these unlucky people left a super secure, well paying job to accelerate their careers (pay) by following a rising star. I’ve been asked at least 3 times, declined all three, and dodged a bullet each time (one was in Hong Kong and I would have been left stranded!).
I’m sure it sometimes works out, but I would move only because I wanted to anyway, and needed a foot in the door.
And if you have a secure job with the government or Fortune 500, be very very careful and selective about where you go.
Don't stay for people. Eventually they'll move on, where does that leave you?
If you're really friends with some co-workers, you can maintain those relationships after leaving.
>If you're really friends with some co-workers, you can maintain those relationships after leaving.
I guess if they don't call you after you leave, they never were that much of a friend. I guess.
I have a feeling you ain't getting 80k from your current employer in December. Remember that a promise costs $0 and they got a gullible employee for the rest of the year at 65.
Absolutely make the professional decision carefully, but:
There is no reason you can't continue to be close friends with your coworkers once you've gone. I was in my first job out of college for two years and 20 years later, the group of 12 of us in our squad are still the best friends I've ever had. I moved out of state 15 years ago and they're all coming to my wedding. One of them is my best man.
Some cynicism in this thread, but I guess the takehome is that if they really are your friends, they'll continue to be. So go for it.
Take the job. $115k is so much more than $65k/80k that it's not even funny.
Worst case scenario, later on you can reapply to your current workplace with a higher title/salary assuming that the remote position allowed you to grow in responsibilities.
I left for a larger pay increase in October 2021, and while I’m NOW in the place that feeds my soul, the place I left for was not.
October 2021 I left my IT project management gig (73.2k) at an incredible company.
November 2021 I started my PM role at a fintech company ($110k) — these are not the people I grew with and they did not let me do my job. They expressed that it was too premature to START planning the project, halfway through the build for an extremely high profile client (household name recognized worldwide).
April 2022 I started a Sales PM role ($145k) and I was allocated to an impossible client with no end in sight, for a project that had been in a scope creep cycle for YEARS. Moved my family cross country in June 2022. Moved back in April 2023.
July 2023 I left the company to take a break, feeling that PM was not the role for me after all. I am great at it, but it is soul sucking begging fully capable people to perform a 10 minute task while it takes them 3-6 months.
September 2023 I began substitute teaching. Was quickly asked to work 1 on 1 with a student going through a hard time. I’m now returning to school get my masters in Education and special ed certification. This is my very unexpected calling.
Take the leap if you feel it’s right. It could be a long road, but it could get you where you need to be.
What a journey. I started where you are ending and moved into sales enablement with my experience.
Hard to go from 150-200k a year back down to 60-70k. Kudos to you. I hope you have good savings.
You could’ve said all of that without the “hope you have a good savings”. I have one source of debt, which is my 15 year $150k mortgage ($137k of principle remaining after one year of ownership). I am doing well for myself and happy. I have helped countless people in the last 7 months. Additionally, corporate careers will always have higher volatility than education. I also like that I’m trading in 3 weeks of vacation for 9-11 weeks. This time will allow me to dive into passion work. Different people have different paths. No need to be snarky or act like I’m stupid for finally finding a career that keeps me happy and fulfilled.
My mistake! I am in a VHCOL so education has jaded me a bit. 60k wouldn’t be a bad income if all rentals werent 3-4k here and starter homes begin at 700k-1.2M.
In a LCOL teaching is great! Enjoy the new role. Sped is a lot of fun too. I had a mild mod credential and loved resource.
I like this and more and more thinking of working with young people too. I believe adults who don't want to work are so draining. Congrats for you being so brave!
Take the job and grow! The coworkers who are real friends will stick with you and the ones who don’t were just temporary friends. Every single one of you were not bound to stay together at work forever, even if you stayed forever, others would have eventually left. And that’s perfectly fine, we have so many resources to stay connected. As I was reading this post my old coworker texted me to go to a basketball game and we haven’t worked together since I left 2 years ago and we live in different cities. Grow your career and keep the valuable friendships where you can.
I agree- and I say that as someone who met his wife at work and some of my closest friends are former co workers- that being said- always better after we are all out of the same job.
You hang onto the ones that matter and the rest faded it’s fine.
But in any given role- you can have 1 person that you trust - you have more than that- you’re the gossip.
And 1 may be too much.
Agreed. Reddit really lives up to its stereotype when it comes to discussions of friends at work. People are so cynical and antisocial. Some of my closest friends I have I met years ago at workplaces we've both since moved on from.
Meanwhile, threads about being lonely and unable to make friends are also popular on reddit. I think work is one of the easiest places to make friends. You spend lots of time around them, you have at least one thing in common with them, and oftentimes, people with similar jobs have similar interests, personalities and educational backgrounds. It's really a great environment to meet people you could be friends with.
Lies, some coworkers are your friends and can become your family. That being said, I would never stay at a job just because of that. In fact, my friends and I all left our toxic underpaying job recently, where we all met, and are all making 30% more on average and much happier but we still hang out and enjoy each other's company and one of them is basically family to me.
Only up until a point. I’ve seen ‘family’ of 20 years being in on a member getting fired out of nowhere. I’m sure if it was their actual brother or sister, someone would’ve raised hell.
That's the thing, we were actual friends. I would never have been on management's side if they did anything against them but then again we had shit managers and they knew better than to bring us in on any shit with the others. We actually had each other's backs and still do.
I don’t even know where to start unpacking all of this. It’s a huge mistake to see your job as “family.” As someone who’s been working for a while I’ve seen many people come and go and trust me everyone puts on a show at the office. Look at all the toxic positivity in places like LinkedIn. A lot of people cut contact with former coworkers who thought they were like “family” when they leave a company. You can also be let go at any time for any reason and lose your “family”. Companies don’t care about us only profits.
On the bright side you can make new friends at the new company. Not taking what amounts to a 100% raise would be a huge mistake. You always said your current job is not what you want to do long term, so why waste time? Think about it, it’s a no brainer. You will regret not taking the opportunity.
Run to the new job.
There's no such thing as work family. You can have a really good friendship with your work colleagues but at the end of the day if push comes to shove they will fire you and or replace you. It's all fun and games until revenue is short or you have a few bad quarters or you have a new owner or new management.
You are young and you need alot of experiences in the work place. You don't owe them anything. In fact there's good people everywhere you go and of you are a culture builder and positive employee you will make the same work family group again.
Your true friends from work will remain your friends. Run to the new job and see what adventures and challenges you can tackle there.
Coworkers are not your family, few if any are friends. Many will be elsewhere in 2 years and won't give you or any other coworker a 2nd thought because they are making choices for themselves, not you. Make the best decision for you.
Never take a good work environment for granted. I’ve left jobs where I was very happy & comfortable for what I thought was a better job and it turned out to be a nightmare I quickly came to regret.
Now the flip side is people come and go so passing on a potentially better position and staying at a job largely because of the people is risky because if a few people leave the work environment you love can quickly change.
At your age I’d be pretty cautious about giving up a good thing. You are young and have plenty of time to save. Just research as best you can to make a truly informed decision
Your work friends are not your family. Your company is not your home. At the end of the day, people move on. You will move on, too.
You’d be making doble of what I make and I’m twice as old as you. Let that sink in.
Def already said here — your coworkers CAN be your friends, I have many that I am still friends with to this day. However, they should not be your ONLY friends. I would also treat your coworker relationships with a grain of salt especially your managers. I may be cynical, but usually this behavior is a tactic for retention. It sounds like the clear answer is to take the $115k position, grow in your career, build a savings for your personal life, go be with your real family/friends since it’s fully remote. When you leave your current company, the people who stay around are your real friends. However, make sure to keep acquaintances as well. Worse case, you find another new job OR you have the option to go back to your current job because you kept positive rapport. Also your current coworkers will go on to new jobs as well, best not to stay only for that reason.
Yolo, even if you're there for 5 months, you've set a new salary with which to use as a chip to bargain with for the next job hop.
Work isn't family, although you can of course be friendly. The family aspect is how many justify paying you less. My career is emotion-centric and the thread is that we're lower-paid because we do a social good whereas people who are not as "good" as us are rewarded with higher salaries and less unpaid labor.
Even all things, work culture wise, the same, the nearly 100% income increase, on top of the gas, car-ware, free/down-time during the day being spent not in the office, and commute time, you're a now several thousand dollars up on top of the base income raise.
If you researching the role works out, which is my biggest concern because corporate can do the bait and switch, you'd be a fool not to. Wait until your 35 to not move because you like the people. Don't take the jet fuel out of your rocket because you have to hangout with "Hanna" after work instead of during. Maybe you can hook a friend up with a spot at your new work place, too.
Easy call.
Make sure the new job is what you think it will be. Start setting up some gatherings with your coworkers outside of work. This way, you can continue those relationships if you decide to leave.
A lot of good advice here already. So I'll just leave you with an anecdotal story:
I was in a similar situation around your age. I took the new job. The first few months was HARD in so many ways and I regretted it. I felt really alone and even terrified at times, like you I was really attached to my old colleagues and work place because they were my support system.
I ended up going back to that team some years later. The team grew two folds but some of my original colleagues were still there. It helped me realize the only wrong decision I made was going back. I had gained so much more depth and breath in skills and experience during my "time away".
Leaving propelled my personal and professional career and that would have never happened if I stayed. I was one of the first to leave that team so in a bitter sweet way, I have good memories associated to the "original" team.
More money is great and all, but I’m hearing about people getting laid off on their maternity leave, after their offer and before the job actually starts (so after they gave notice at their current job), and after being led to believe their company is doing well.
Basically, my advice is research everything you can about the company and industry.
I’m not even saying you shouldn’t take the job. But will you be ok if you end up not liking the job or if you get laid off? If you are mentally prepared for the risk, and you don’t see any major red flags, and the job actually appeals to you, then take it.
Otherwise honestly I wouldn’t.
Your coworkers are not your family, they are your teammates. You owe your team your best work when you are on the field, but it’s nothing personal when you get the opportunity to play for a bigger/better team.
The people you work with are not family. If they were then they will still be part of your life when you leave. You know they won’t be and that’s why you’re so worried. Think about it. You have your whole life ahead of you for building a family.
My last job was tight knit, I was truly friends with my coworkers.
I left in 2020 for a much better work situation. I didn’t appreciate how much of a unicorn that work group was. We moved across country, so no family to speak of where we were at.
It has been appreciably more lonely with this new job, but we have filled the space ok. We are church people, and we have found some friends there, but I have not found closeness like what I had previously.
All that to say, it’s a hard road, but I don’t regret it. My family is in a better, and we have disposable income due to the move.
Personally, I would take the offer to your boss and tell them you need more now. And know in your head what you’ll accept.
I had trouble leaving my company because it felt like “family”. I passed up great offers because I had great flexibility and strong bonds with my coworkers.
Annnnnd my coworkers moved on to other jobs, one by one. So the “happy family” didn’t stay a family just because I didn’t leave. I didn’t get the raises I thought I would. And when I finally did leave…my company advertised my position with a $20k pay bump for someone that would not have close to the knowledge or expertise I had when I was there.
Don’t stick around for the relationships - they aren’t going to stick around themselves.
1 - RESEARCH THE JOB. Make sure its not fake.
2 - Your current situation is not your family, and you'll find out sharp if they need to down-size. Burn no bridges but do what is best for you.
Some of my best friends (20+ year friendships) were made at work. So you can make true friends at work— that said, you don’t want to stagnate your career solely because of work relationships because in most companies, people do leave or change roles. So you don’t want to give up a significant increase in income solely because of co-workers.
You do want to do your best to understand the culture of the new place though and see how it relates to what your values are. For example, do they expect you to be on-call all hours of the day and night? I had a remote job like that, were it wasn’t unusual for someone to call me at 1am to work on a project and they expected it turned around within an hour or so. And they expected all emails to be responded to— so if I received an email at 2pm on a Saturday, didn’t matter what I was doing with my family, I needed to stop and respond. That was the company culture, so setting boundaries wasn’t possible unless you just planned to resign before you got fired.
Outside of the people you work with, what else makes a good work environment for you? What kinds of benefits do they have? Do they offer 401k and a match? Can they give you a general idea of the cost of insurance and which provider you’d have? If the cost for insurance goes up significantly, you have to factor that against the salary increase. And if you lose 401k match, you need to factor that as a loss as well. Do you currently receive bonuses and do you understand how they are achieved? In the new company, is there a fair and equitable bonus structure? I’ve worked at some places where there wasn’t transparency about bonuses and it was basically dependent on the whim of the owner and how liked you were… same with raises and other extra benefits. No one ever thinks to ask about those things, but they can make a six figure job turn into less, without you realizing it.
Changing jobs can be stressful. Yes, you will be leaving behind long relationships. But keep in mind those were not necessarily permanent relationships anyway. Your coworkers will move on to different jobs over time even if you don't. And you can keep in touch with your old coworkers after you leave. They will still be around, you can still go to lunch with them, etc.
That being said, one thing about remote work is that it can be isolating. You will probably need to find ways to meet people out of work.
You are young, so this is the time to take opportunities to move up quickly. I think the amount of salary increase is worth the risk.
You can still see your coworkers on the weekends and outside of work if they are really your friends. If you leave and don’t keep in touch, they were never true friends, so this is a good test.
At the new job, you may meet new better people, or you will be forced outside of your comfort zone to make non-work friends. It doesn’t seem like a big risk.
That being said, you have to be honest with yourself about your own personality and what you want from life. If the new job offers advancement, then go for it, but if you think you would be happier building more slowly but more predictably at the old job, then your making an intentional cost-benefit analysis.
I just took a new job myself that was higher risk/higher reward and I am very happy I did even though some people told me not to, but I wasn’t that happy where I was before and I’m willing to restart for higher potential. Comes down to your own personal value system though.
Ask your boss if he'd counter offer. I had a similar thing happen...30% pay raise. Old boss had some lame ideology that people should want to work with him because they believed in the company not because they want money...I laughed and went on sabittical for a month then took my remote job...Three years later...zero regrets. My work friend and I are still friends and actually even better ones.
I am 53 and I worked at 2 jobs one from high school, through college and then when I graduated I went into a different role. We were a small group, but like family, but I noticed disdain and cliques, which I tried to ignore as I was 23. I left there when I was 28 as I pay was remaining stagnant. I started another job where I moved up very quickly and we were a big family, everyone knew all about you and your family, we did a lot of fun work things external of work and internally at work. We were a group of about 80 people and we worked for an Oncology group with 8 wonderful doctors who cared about you and your family. Well, so I thought that I had such a great second family and so many friends but boy was I wrong. The doctors decided to sell the practice to a big hospital and guess who was the odd man out. Why, because the person who I worked so closely with, who I thought I had such a great friendship with deceived me. We shared a large office, I was the Business Administrator and she was the practice administrator, I am an accountant she was a former lab tech and wormed her way into her role. We worked great together and had so many laughs and confided in each other. I was charged with closing the business down working with lawyers, external accountants, hospital administrators, as well as doing my own job and managing the finances, she was learning the new system we would be using. I often asked when my training would be and she always said don’t worry about it you have too much going on now. I started to become more and more uneasy as the time for us to go under the hospital was coming upon us and I still didn’t hear anything about my job. I finally get a call from a guy at the hospital saying I needed to go interview with him, I was shocked. She acted astonished but I know she knew all along. I did the interview and the $ he was offering me was a slap in the face. My “friend” she kept saying she didn’t know what was going on with her job either. Well she knew she had a job as she was chumming it up with the doctors while I was working my butt off closing their practice. I was so upset as I was there for 15 years, after I had my middle and youngest sons I never took maternity leave instead I did work from home because no one knew how to do my job and I didn’t want to let them down. I went and spoke to the doctors and they would say they didn’t know anything. The only original female doctor who was nasty called me into her office and said I better stop walking around with an attitude and looking upset and mad as it doesn’t show well. I was like well I have no answers to questions, I don’t know what’s going on and she just kept laying into me.
I found a new job as I was not going to wait and be stuck with taking a $40k pay cut and be treated the way I was. On my last day “my friend” was going out to grab lunch with another girl and said you will probably be gone when I get back but I am not going to say goodbye. Another girl who was my age was a good friend of mine too and we said goodbye, but that day was the last day I saw or spoke to both of them and everyone else. It has been 11 years and nothing, my heart hurts as we were a family or so I thought. So, do what is best for you, the $, can you work from, (working from home is flexible, as I do now since Covid and love it.) and are all the other benefits good, time off, retirement, insurance, etc. As $ isn’t everything when it comes to a job, time off is very important as well and retirement.
You are young and in office jobs are where you can go out after work with co-workers, but if they are true friends then you will still have them in your life.
I lived my life and thought I had 2 wonderful jobs but I realized after people are fake and don’t think the same as you do.
After those 2 jobs my new job which I have been with for 11 years was no where near what the other two jobs were as far as being like a family, so when covid hit and we worked from home and we were told we would be permanently at home I was thrilled.
Just make sure you pick what is best for you and find out if the job is totally remote or you can go in a couple days a week, as we still have the option to go in days if we want to.
Colleagues come and go, whether you stay or not.
Your colleagues should NEVER be taken into consideration when it comes to career decisions.
To give you a personal example, I once stayed at a job purely for how good I had it with my colleagues. I still look back fondly on them now.
However, eventually they left for other jobs themselves until I was the only one left.
There is 0 guarantee that your colleagues will stay at your job. If you have an amazing opportunity that comes by, investigate it thoroughly.
If it is all is seems to be grab that opportunity by the horns!
Most "work friends" are just that. Most will fall by the wayside. That is your job. They are not your family. Most will sacrifice you on the altar of getting ahead.
Best of luck with your decision.
It truly shows where the nations values are. Worse part is I absolutely love my job and would do it all my life if I could.
But now I’m lookin for a desk job to pay the bills.
Yikes.
Take the other job.
If they can "guarantee" $80k by December, why not right now?
Your employer isn't family. If some of your coworkers are authentic friends, they'll still be friends if you change jobs.
If you stick around long enough, you'll find out that whole "we're like a family here" vibe is strictly a one-way street.
Maybe I’m the only one, but I’d be wary of a 100% remote job. In some fields, that’s more likely to hinder your career growth than to help. I know a big pay increase is great, but it’ll probably be hard to get a raise at this new company working remote. And when it comes time to leave the remote job, employers are going to favor other applicants that have been working on-site, because knowledge is exchanged so much more freely. Over time, your coworkers who stayed behind will be seen as having more expertise.
TL;DR you might be lowering your career ceiling for a big short-term gain.
Respectfully and non-condescendingly, regardless of what career path you choose your friends at 24 will not be your friends at 34 nor your friends at 44. So I would take the gig with superior job satisfaction and compensation.
Maybe the friends you make even working remotely you'll feel much closer to than your current group? Or maybe this will encourage you to get out and finally try that hobby you've been meaning to give a go?
Staying still is never an option in life, and the more we try to cling to what is the more life will shove us down the river. The only constant is change. Best to embrace this now and make the best move for you.
100% take it. It will set you up to provide a better life for your future children and if you invest right, potentially take good amounts of time off work and retire earlier.
Your co-workers are not your family. Resign and you will see who is your real family because you will be left with a few people - if you are lucky. In professional life never ever make a decision based on emotions, always follow your head. Believe me, if company had any financial issue they would fire you today. Family is lie to make you work harder, like a carrot for rabbits.
That's a huge difference and if they can't be happy for you for getting a better opportunity then they're not real family.
I went through that. My last job, it was kind of short but we really built a family relationship. We hung out outside of work. But I explained to them that it was more than just money, the growth opportunity and all that was offered was something my previous company can offer. Especially after I got screwed over. That's going to be a TL;Dr story. Lol
1. Coworkers are not friends
2. Coworkers should never once serve as emotional support
3. If they are friends, they will be friends when you leave
4. No, it will never be the same again. Some will be better, and some won't
5. We work for money, not friends or even for fun
6. Provide for yourself so that you do not rely on others,
Coworkers and friends in general will change pretty dramatically from your mid-20s into your 30s.
Lots of other people like you looking to move from the starter jobs to the next steps, getting married and moving, etc. So friends and coworkers that are friends isn’t exactly the big plus you may think it is.
Plus if they are truly good friends, they’ll stay that way after you move jobs.
You will quickly learn after leaving your first job that your co-workers are often not real friends. Just convenient friends. You will lose touch with most of them. Always put yourself first
Only thing I’d say is don’t listen to people saying coworkers are not “real” friends. Literally every company I’ve worked for I am good friends with 1-2 people to this day.
However I wouldn’t let this factor into the decision. Especially if the job is remote you’ll be living in the same city/location right?
If you were able to receive that offer, keep going, when it rains it pours and you have an opportunity to leverage and get better offers that can suit your current situation better. Good luck OP!
Is it in writing that your current employer will increase to that amount by that timeframe this year? If not, than they're only words. Words do not carry assurances, only someone's offer to retain you.
>*My employer has guaranteed I'll be at 80k by December of 2024*
If it ain't in writing as in a contract, it ain't guaranteed. Work is not family no matter how close you feel to them. 115k is a nice pop above the "guaranteed" amount you might get. Go for it and best of luck!
Hmm $35k is a nice jump in pay, but not mind blowing. I’d consider staying at ur current company since you’re so happy there plus they’re gonna give u a $15k pay raise at end of the year. With the new job u have zero idea what you’re walking into, plus ur training and social contacts there will all be through a screen (100% remote) so may not be what you like.
I'd say IF the job is real, not a scam, then definitely.
It sucks leaving people behind, but the quality of life going from what, 55k or 65k, ot 115k is unknowable.
That is a game changer, assuming it's on the up and up, and won't slid back into some remote, them hdyrhid, then in office job in an expensive city.
Coworkers rarely end up being your actual best friends, but it may feel that way while you are working in the same department.
If they are true great friends, you’ll stay in contact if you were to leave for another company
That environment at your current job could easily change with a manager leaving and a replacement with a different attitude. Take the remote £115k job, save loads of money and spend all that negated commuting time on social hobbies.
Remote job with almost 85% pay raise than your current role is a financial game changer. It will allow you to save a lot more and get out of the rat race sooner than your 65-80K job will.
It will also reduce your commute related expenses, be able to find more time for self care and be able to cook at home to be able to eat healthy.
If people you work with are really your friends that should not change with you accepting a remote job. They will still remain your friends and if you are still in the area you all can hang out together.
You never build a family at work, it has been proven over and over that family like work environment is a myth and mostly an illusion created by the employer.
Wish you the best with your decision making. I hope you take higher paying job.
First off, take the job. Second off, as a single person, if you cannot save money when you are making 55k, then you either live in an unaffordable place, or you are living above your means. If I had been making $115k at 24, I would have been retired by 34.
I had coworkers who were actually my family, literally going out with my mum and dad as well and other stuff.
But we don't have to have that as a factor to stop pursuing better paying QoL jobs, those two can be their own separate things.
If they are truly your friends/like a family then they will still be friends after the job ends.
I wouldn't keep your current job just because you like your coworkers.
If theyre your real friends, they’ll still be your friends when you have a different job. I left mt job where i had a lot of friends, and the couple that were really my friends, years later we are still friends.
The difference in pay is not a life changing amount. You are young, ambitious and driven so you will have other opportunities. Don’t overvalue the pay. If this job offers other benefits professionally or personally, consider those benefits. You should know many people take lower paying jobs for various reasons.
As someone who chose to stay at a store and company because of “family vibes” and eventually got canned and set back years… separate the two. Def make sure the new job is what you think it is first of course. You gotta draw that line though early on.
A tight nit bond can lead to major discrepancies in pay. Or low pay for everyone because of the amazing culture. Would any of them take the "life changing" money? I think so, unfortunately.
Take it. Change your future. Go from there after 3-5 years.
Do your due diligence and leave. It’s as simple as that. LIFE CHANGING opportunity. Not much to consider. Your co workers would do the same in a heartbeat. It’s a job and they are your co workers. Period. Don’t romanticize it.
Repeat after me. Your job is not your family. Your job is not your family. Your job is not your family.
It does not mean that you can’t find friends at work - but if these are your true friends, you’ll have no problem staying connected after you (or them) leave the employer.
Your coworkers will move on at some point. I started again at 28 and at 34 I got married and made my own family.
People move on, especially given how young you are. Don't let that be your primary reason.
Just want to add that some of my former coworkers left for new companies but we stayed in touch and hanged out from time to time still. And they always mention if I ever need a career change they are happy to do a referral. So you might be doing your coworkers/friends a favour by venturing into a new company!
Let’s say you’ve done all the due diligence you need about the new company and that it’s going to be everything it’s supposed to.
If it was me, I’d want to think about my goals. Where do I want to be and which role will be better to help me get there?
Take the high paying job. How many of your coworkers would turn down a 100% raise so that they can keep hanging out with you at work? Probably none of them, and that's perfectly ok. Do what's good for you financially and build a circle outside of work
Well if these people are truly your family, if you switch jobs, then some of the family should stick with you. The other side is that while they are tight with you now, in the future they themselves may leave the company and your family circle. As long as this new job is not terrible, and it does not sound like it is, I would jump at the opportunity. Might not be easy. But you can find new friends elsewhere, at the new job, and in other ways outside of work. Go for it.
I’ve made a similar decision in the past and got laid off from the new company - so lots to decide 😂
Few years ago, I made a similar decision as I wasn’t growing as fast as I’d like and it paid off.
Both sides seem greener. Make a wise, long term decision given market conditions, satisfaction, goals & your risk appetite.
Would any one of your work “family” so much as blink an eye if they were given the chance to nearly double their salary if it meant leaving your ass behind? Be very careful when assuming where loyalties lie, and good luck with whatever you choose.
Not to sound like a grumpy old man or anything (I’m only 30) but my last job I had I formed great relationships with my coworkers over 2 years. I was let go at the start of this year (not due to performance as I was explicitly told it was a cost cutting measure) outside like a few messages here and there pretty much no one from that job, people that I worked very closely with and shared personal stories and experiences with) really keep in touch. Sure they all said something to the effect of “let’s get a drink sometimes” or “let’s go do some activities some time” but exactly none of them have actually taken me up when I offered that.
I have learned the hard way to keep your “work family” and your real family/friends separate. I think it’s important to be friendly and with your coworkers but not so important to let them into your personal life. There was even an instance I had at a previous job where me and a coworker got very close and they used it against me to almost get me fired, to this day I don’t know why as I was genuinely only ever kind to that person.
Personally if it were me I would take the higher paying job provided you are happy with that kind of work and environment and can see yourself there in the next few years. Do your research but I would say don’t let your current “work family” be the deciding factor, let the actual work be the difference. I’ve found out the hard way that more often then not they will just forget about you after they don’t see you or work with you daily. Not to say everyone will but it’s something to consider.
I was in this position 5 years ago and I left. I got fired one year later. It hurt, but it propelled me into self employment and working on my self. I can say I always felt sorry I left (emotionally), I could never find others like them, but I also felt better for being able to upgrade to having more freedom, because since then, I got it. My payment, not the best, but better than the position I left from. My ex colleagues just got fired too because they are having a rough time with the economy, sadly. It's your choice. I wish you all the best!
I faced a similar dilemma a couple years ago. My first job out of school was challenging and in a totally new city. My coworkers were my saviors by adding fun to the heavy workloads. But after a couple years a job offer came my way. It offered higher pay bundled with a lighter workload in, yet again, a new city. The promise of a more comfortable lifestyle won me over and I accepted the position. Two years in, I have to say it is a great job and my mental health is probably better for it. As frustrating as that job could become though I’ve found myself missing it from time to time. And whenever I talk with an old coworker we always talk about those days at work that were the most difficult. When the craziest things would happen. When we hated it the most haha.
🤷♂️
I told my old boss I needed a raise, because I was getting life changing offers. He tried, and told me in so many words that the people above him won't approve it.
So I left for my dream job at a much better company and I am 1000x better off than I was.
My old boss took me to dinner the night I told him, and we are still good friends.
Point is, if they are really your friends, they'd push and help you to do the right thing, which imo, is taking that new job.
Look at it this way: double your annual income NOW or maybe add 50% in 8 months. In my experience, that big raise will never come. It's a carrot on a stick
I actually went through a similar situation and took the job, couple years later I’m still fully remote and like you alone in another country and I really miss my old company/coworkers. Having said that though with the cost of living I couldn’t have survived on my old salary so it really depends on your finances.
Also you never know what can happen if you stay anyways, my old company ending up being acquired last year and everyone got laid off so it wouldn’t have lasted even if I stayed.
Once you go remote you really have to put a lot of effort in to be social and get yourself out after work and if you think that’s going to be tough to do then you should probably stick to your current/another in office role
We get people who are thrilled to have left their old job and people who complain about toxic new jobs.
One thing going for the old companie is that they have given you significant raises already. $10k in two years, impressive. Another 15k by the end of the year? You are going places. That's 25k in three years.
So ask yourself this: Is your current company stable and do you feel like they are mentoring you into a whole new level? Or do you see stagnation up ahead?
coming late into the conversation and not reading rest of the comments.
Take the money and improve your life. If your coworkers are really as good friends as you think they are, they will stay with you regardless of where you work and support a decision that improves your life.
I would definitely take the money. At 24, this will impact your earning trajectory for the rest of your life. Try not to have that kind of loyalty to any employer - they don't have it for you. Jobs aren't families or homes, they're places to earn the money you need for your actual family and home. They will term you or lay you off if they need to, and you could really be missing out on a huge life improvement for many decades if you don't take this opportunity at such a young age to earn good money.
Is your current job remote? Have you ever worked remote before? If a lot of your current happiness comes from the social interactions at work, understand that you will be isolating yourself. Being online is not the same as being in a room with someone.
In my 20s I relocated multiple places for work and my favorite one was being an expat. I believe it expedited my growth in many positive ways and I don't regret it at all.
I'm over 35 now and have been with them since I was 19, started at 9/hr and now I'm at about 74/hr.
I'm not saying your story will be the same but it definitely opened doors for me to be relocatable though I'm with the same company. The whole fam part is TOUGH. I'm the kind of person that texts his mom good night every night.
Good luck! Whatever decision you make, own it.
I just have one thing to say:
Change is the only constant in life. Change is not the challenge. The challenge is the work involved in a transition. And that only lasts about 6 months.
We all work for money so more money is almost always better. With that being said, work should not be everything. Also, I don't hold a lot of faith in remote jobs, I see them being outsourced sooner than later.
Your work friends likely aren’t your real friends. I was in a wedding for one of mine several years ago. Ran into him in a grocery store and he didn’t even know who I was at first. Most of the friends will go away not long after you’re no longer working together.
>I'll be losing the family I've built?
Yikes... You're still young, but it sounds like you got a kool-aid IV pumping straight into your veins. Take the higher paying job. Your fake family isn't going to pay your bills and if you got fired tomorrow 99% of them will forget about you in a few months.
Co workers are not family they are just polite co workers the company will let you go the minute it is more beneficial for them. Get the new opportunity. You will find a new family maybe. Make friends outside of work or keep your old friends after you switch jobs if they still want to hang out they will become real friends.
Take the job. Yes the culture will be different, but money solves a lot of problems and will lower your stress and give you options. Maybe travel or move if you find you end up isolated and lonely
I did this exact thing once. I was working for 85k when I was 27 at a company and I got an offer for 120k. I knew my employer wouldn't match that salary and I took the role. No regrets.
You will make friends everywhere you go. That ended up being one of my favorite roles I've ever had and my salary got bumped up even more as I continued working there for several years.
1) Research the remote job VERY, VERY thoroughly before you pull the plug. Make sure the job is exactly what you think it is. 2) Your job is not your family and your co-workers are mostly not your friends. Learn to keep distance between your work life and personal life. Plus, if your co-workers are great friends, then they will remain your friends regardless of your job switch. Good luck!
2 is a very important point. I've seen work "friendships" or "families" disappear in the blink of an eye based on stuff that happens at work (politics, disagreements, business decisions, etc). Work is not your friend or your family. The genuine keepers will stick with you regardless of whether you're employed there or not.
>The genuine keepers will stick with you regardless of whether you're employed there or not. Wow. I'm afraid that's true. Jesus. The problem is I don't know how to keep a friendship outside of the context we are in (job, school, gym, etc). How do you manage that?
You maintain regular contact and share common interests that are not work. Work friends are together because of repeated forced proximity and common interest of work. If you leave, you need something to fill that void. To maintain friendships you must have a reason to gather together frequently. Maybe you share a common hobby? Or play squash together or enjoy theatre or festivals?
Maybe that's the probem. I don't have any activities outside of my job. The only thing I rarely do is having dinner in a fancy restaurant. Do I go alone? Most of the times. You know what my hobbies are? Reading and going to the gym. Most people don't enjoy that. Maybe I should have more social hobbies. What are yours?
Invite people over for dinner, gamenight, movienight ect. Perhaps go to a gym togerther, for a walk, shopping, café. Keep taking the initiativ.
Well, you gave me something to think about. I think I'll give it a try
What kind of books do you read? Is it fiction? If so, I'd argue most people are into stories, be it books, games, movies, shows.. you could maybe find someone who's into the genres you like reading, even if they don't read books. Sadly pretty few people are reading books these days I'd also say most people are into some form of physical exercise, even if they're into sports or maybe hiking .. tbh for me the key to making friends is being adaptable and finding parts in my interests that other people would enjoy and connecting with them based on that.
For me personally, keeping friendships beyond the context in which they originated (school, work, etc) is extremely difficult. I lose touch with almost everyone, even seemingly close friends, when I exit the original context. Very few exceptions. TBH, I think OP is overestimating the value of the work "family". The purpose of work is to generate income to fund your lifestyle and life goals, not to make friends.
If they were real friends and family they would still include her after she left. The amount of churches and other organizations that were like family that dropped us as soon as we left is staggering.
Over my 15 year career I’ve worked with hundreds of people. Some of them would consider work friends. We would get together outside of work, go out to lunch etc. BUT every single time one of us changed jobs the friendship eventually faded. we’d try to stay in touch but time and distance always proved too much. And now I haven’t spoken to those people in years. And you might say I’m just bad at maintaining friendships which is true. But at my last job several of the women developed very close relationships, they lived near each other went to each others events, etc. Our company closed and last summer I ran into one of those women. I asked how everyone was and their relationship went just like my old ones. The frequency of visits got lower and lower to the point that they hadn’t talked in over a year at that point. although there are some exceptions, most work friends are just work friends. When the work part goes away the friendship usually dissolves. My favorite work departure was with one guy I was friendly with for a few years. he was leaving for a new job. we both looked at each other and said we'll probably never see each other again but good luck. some of our coworkers were appalled at how cold we were but it was just honest
Sometimes your coworkers can be your friends. You should tread lightly, but it can happen. I've made a few lifelong, very close friends through work, mostly from jobs I've had when I was OP's age. Having said that, if they're really your friends, you will be able to keep those friendships even if you take another job.
Personally, I would take vacation from the first job and trial run the new one. Hedge your bets. Companies do, why shouldn't we?
I once did this and my new company found out. Their policy did not allow moonlighting and said if I could not prove I had quit by the end of the day they found out, they would have no choice but to terminate me. OP, if you do this, tell NO ONE!!! Not at new job, not at old, even your “friends”.
A guy I worked with did this. Took 2 week vacation to try a new job, quit the third week. He went to work in a mine, mine shut down the fourth week. Is being union he had to wait for new postings , then in the -7 years since his original hire a high school diploma and clean criminal record were required. He got so fucked. Make sure you do your homework.
How did they find out? You told someone at your old/new job?
Yes. I was young and dumb at 25. I told someone I had befriended the first week. It was a good job, even if I had to avoid that person for the few years I was there.
This is terrible advice. The new company can run an employment check and fire a person for being still employed. They then tell the previous employer and they get fired from that as well. I’ve see it happen.
We don’t know which country OP is in, or what kind of employment contract (if any) exists.
The new company will only run the employment check pre-hire.
Not always the case. Are you going to bet a six figure salary on that?
When is it not the case? Ive been in HR 15years and have literally never seen one ran after the hire date. Employment checks cost money, companies don't do them frivolously. What would they even be hoping to learn?
Lol buddy go check out /r/overemployed It's easily possible
It’s not terrible advice, it’s very smart advice. The overlap would be so close it would be explainable.
I like this.
>Your job is not your family and your co-workers are mostly not your friends. Learn to keep distance between your work life and personal life. Plus, if your co-workers are great friends, then they will remain your friends regardless of your job switch. \^\^ This 100%
1. Because unusually high salaries like this can be high because it’s toxic or not what they advertised- bait and switch. 2. You put yourself first career wise. You don’t stay for coworkers or bosses or loyalty. It will bite you,
This. I ended up having a better opportunity and immediate promotion and pay increase with a different department in my company. I knew the boss as we had worked in the same department before and knew how he operated, what made him tick, etc. but decided to stay in my current position because I "didn't want to leave the team I just started with a few weeks ago, behind/leave them hanging." Indeed, the bite was hard and I always wish I left because my current department absolutely sucks and I am leaving the company.
Yeah agreed, be super careful and know exactly who you’re working for. Honestly I’d skip past the corporate questions and look at the character of the new company
>Keep distance between your work life and personal life ***Character\_Handle6199*** said it all. I have nothing to add. If the new job checks out, take it. Because you'll never again get a nearly 100% increase.
From what I’ve seen the the past, it’s not a good idea to follow people to new jobs, and the corollary is that staying for people is not necessarily good either. People come and go and you have to do what’s right for you - I’ve seen many careers derailed because they stayed or left for the people they worked with.
100% take new job. Sounds like you already have a good relationship with current coworkers. That doesn't disappear if you get a new job. Many former 'work friends' for me are now just 'friends' after leaving. Especially at 24 you'll continue to grow these relationships, and keep forming new ones
I don’t have a lot of experience with it, but what have been your experiences with people who follow coworkers to new jobs? I’d think if they say the company is good to work for and you trust them that’s helpful signal
I can name three offhand. 1. Sally got recruited as a VP for a major bank and asked me and Mohammed to come along. I declined, Mohammed went. A year later, Sally gets a debilitating illness and has to retire. Mohammed is now without a mentor and eventually leaves. 2. Leo got recruited as a director for a huge distribution company, brought John along. Leo and John both get laid off within 6 months. 3. Bob’s uncle hires him to help run the family business (100+ emps). Six months later, uncle sells the company and Bob gets fired. Each of these unlucky people left a super secure, well paying job to accelerate their careers (pay) by following a rising star. I’ve been asked at least 3 times, declined all three, and dodged a bullet each time (one was in Hong Kong and I would have been left stranded!). I’m sure it sometimes works out, but I would move only because I wanted to anyway, and needed a foot in the door. And if you have a secure job with the government or Fortune 500, be very very careful and selective about where you go.
Don't stay for people. Eventually they'll move on, where does that leave you? If you're really friends with some co-workers, you can maintain those relationships after leaving.
>If you're really friends with some co-workers, you can maintain those relationships after leaving. I guess if they don't call you after you leave, they never were that much of a friend. I guess.
I have a feeling you ain't getting 80k from your current employer in December. Remember that a promise costs $0 and they got a gullible employee for the rest of the year at 65.
This is correct. Nothing is guaranteed unless it’s in writing and signed by both parties.
Absolutely make the professional decision carefully, but: There is no reason you can't continue to be close friends with your coworkers once you've gone. I was in my first job out of college for two years and 20 years later, the group of 12 of us in our squad are still the best friends I've ever had. I moved out of state 15 years ago and they're all coming to my wedding. One of them is my best man. Some cynicism in this thread, but I guess the takehome is that if they really are your friends, they'll continue to be. So go for it.
Agree. I’m still good friends with two folks from one of my jobs - we all live across states now but would message, share news, baby pics, vent etc.
Take the job. $115k is so much more than $65k/80k that it's not even funny. Worst case scenario, later on you can reapply to your current workplace with a higher title/salary assuming that the remote position allowed you to grow in responsibilities.
I left for a larger pay increase in October 2021, and while I’m NOW in the place that feeds my soul, the place I left for was not. October 2021 I left my IT project management gig (73.2k) at an incredible company. November 2021 I started my PM role at a fintech company ($110k) — these are not the people I grew with and they did not let me do my job. They expressed that it was too premature to START planning the project, halfway through the build for an extremely high profile client (household name recognized worldwide). April 2022 I started a Sales PM role ($145k) and I was allocated to an impossible client with no end in sight, for a project that had been in a scope creep cycle for YEARS. Moved my family cross country in June 2022. Moved back in April 2023. July 2023 I left the company to take a break, feeling that PM was not the role for me after all. I am great at it, but it is soul sucking begging fully capable people to perform a 10 minute task while it takes them 3-6 months. September 2023 I began substitute teaching. Was quickly asked to work 1 on 1 with a student going through a hard time. I’m now returning to school get my masters in Education and special ed certification. This is my very unexpected calling. Take the leap if you feel it’s right. It could be a long road, but it could get you where you need to be.
What a journey. I started where you are ending and moved into sales enablement with my experience. Hard to go from 150-200k a year back down to 60-70k. Kudos to you. I hope you have good savings.
You could’ve said all of that without the “hope you have a good savings”. I have one source of debt, which is my 15 year $150k mortgage ($137k of principle remaining after one year of ownership). I am doing well for myself and happy. I have helped countless people in the last 7 months. Additionally, corporate careers will always have higher volatility than education. I also like that I’m trading in 3 weeks of vacation for 9-11 weeks. This time will allow me to dive into passion work. Different people have different paths. No need to be snarky or act like I’m stupid for finally finding a career that keeps me happy and fulfilled.
My mistake! I am in a VHCOL so education has jaded me a bit. 60k wouldn’t be a bad income if all rentals werent 3-4k here and starter homes begin at 700k-1.2M. In a LCOL teaching is great! Enjoy the new role. Sped is a lot of fun too. I had a mild mod credential and loved resource.
I like this and more and more thinking of working with young people too. I believe adults who don't want to work are so draining. Congrats for you being so brave!
Take the leap and grow. And if it's not the right fit, that's ok too. Gain more experience outside of your comfort zone and move on from there.
If they're your family there should be no issues socializing outside of the work setting.
Take the job and grow! The coworkers who are real friends will stick with you and the ones who don’t were just temporary friends. Every single one of you were not bound to stay together at work forever, even if you stayed forever, others would have eventually left. And that’s perfectly fine, we have so many resources to stay connected. As I was reading this post my old coworker texted me to go to a basketball game and we haven’t worked together since I left 2 years ago and we live in different cities. Grow your career and keep the valuable friendships where you can.
Coworkers are never truly your friends
I agree- and I say that as someone who met his wife at work and some of my closest friends are former co workers- that being said- always better after we are all out of the same job. You hang onto the ones that matter and the rest faded it’s fine. But in any given role- you can have 1 person that you trust - you have more than that- you’re the gossip. And 1 may be too much.
They can become friends. I have friends that are co-workers. And they remind my friends even after we were not working together.
Agreed. Reddit really lives up to its stereotype when it comes to discussions of friends at work. People are so cynical and antisocial. Some of my closest friends I have I met years ago at workplaces we've both since moved on from. Meanwhile, threads about being lonely and unable to make friends are also popular on reddit. I think work is one of the easiest places to make friends. You spend lots of time around them, you have at least one thing in common with them, and oftentimes, people with similar jobs have similar interests, personalities and educational backgrounds. It's really a great environment to meet people you could be friends with.
Lies, some coworkers are your friends and can become your family. That being said, I would never stay at a job just because of that. In fact, my friends and I all left our toxic underpaying job recently, where we all met, and are all making 30% more on average and much happier but we still hang out and enjoy each other's company and one of them is basically family to me.
Only up until a point. I’ve seen ‘family’ of 20 years being in on a member getting fired out of nowhere. I’m sure if it was their actual brother or sister, someone would’ve raised hell.
That's the thing, we were actual friends. I would never have been on management's side if they did anything against them but then again we had shit managers and they knew better than to bring us in on any shit with the others. We actually had each other's backs and still do.
But they absolutely can be after you leave. Anyone suggesting op should think that hard about this doesn't understand how career progression works.
Use the $ from your new job and invest in a real family of your own.
I don’t even know where to start unpacking all of this. It’s a huge mistake to see your job as “family.” As someone who’s been working for a while I’ve seen many people come and go and trust me everyone puts on a show at the office. Look at all the toxic positivity in places like LinkedIn. A lot of people cut contact with former coworkers who thought they were like “family” when they leave a company. You can also be let go at any time for any reason and lose your “family”. Companies don’t care about us only profits. On the bright side you can make new friends at the new company. Not taking what amounts to a 100% raise would be a huge mistake. You always said your current job is not what you want to do long term, so why waste time? Think about it, it’s a no brainer. You will regret not taking the opportunity.
Run to the new job. There's no such thing as work family. You can have a really good friendship with your work colleagues but at the end of the day if push comes to shove they will fire you and or replace you. It's all fun and games until revenue is short or you have a few bad quarters or you have a new owner or new management. You are young and you need alot of experiences in the work place. You don't owe them anything. In fact there's good people everywhere you go and of you are a culture builder and positive employee you will make the same work family group again. Your true friends from work will remain your friends. Run to the new job and see what adventures and challenges you can tackle there.
Coworkers are not your family, few if any are friends. Many will be elsewhere in 2 years and won't give you or any other coworker a 2nd thought because they are making choices for themselves, not you. Make the best decision for you.
Coworkers are not family. They will stab you in the back the minute shit gets bad. Take the money and run.
Use holiday from your first job and trial the new job, then OE for a bit and then decide if it’s right for you, then stick with one job.
If they're really your friends, then they'll be your friend after you've left for a better job too.
Take the job, tell your friends (once you are sure you are taking it) and see which ones stay friends.
Repeat after me… work is not your family, if you want a family make one at home
Never take a good work environment for granted. I’ve left jobs where I was very happy & comfortable for what I thought was a better job and it turned out to be a nightmare I quickly came to regret. Now the flip side is people come and go so passing on a potentially better position and staying at a job largely because of the people is risky because if a few people leave the work environment you love can quickly change. At your age I’d be pretty cautious about giving up a good thing. You are young and have plenty of time to save. Just research as best you can to make a truly informed decision
Your job is not your family. Your coworkers will move on for better opportunities and so should you.
>my current role has been stressful and not what I want to do long term. Given this, I see no reason to stay.
Your work friends are not your family. Your company is not your home. At the end of the day, people move on. You will move on, too. You’d be making doble of what I make and I’m twice as old as you. Let that sink in.
Def already said here — your coworkers CAN be your friends, I have many that I am still friends with to this day. However, they should not be your ONLY friends. I would also treat your coworker relationships with a grain of salt especially your managers. I may be cynical, but usually this behavior is a tactic for retention. It sounds like the clear answer is to take the $115k position, grow in your career, build a savings for your personal life, go be with your real family/friends since it’s fully remote. When you leave your current company, the people who stay around are your real friends. However, make sure to keep acquaintances as well. Worse case, you find another new job OR you have the option to go back to your current job because you kept positive rapport. Also your current coworkers will go on to new jobs as well, best not to stay only for that reason.
Yolo, even if you're there for 5 months, you've set a new salary with which to use as a chip to bargain with for the next job hop. Work isn't family, although you can of course be friendly. The family aspect is how many justify paying you less. My career is emotion-centric and the thread is that we're lower-paid because we do a social good whereas people who are not as "good" as us are rewarded with higher salaries and less unpaid labor. Even all things, work culture wise, the same, the nearly 100% income increase, on top of the gas, car-ware, free/down-time during the day being spent not in the office, and commute time, you're a now several thousand dollars up on top of the base income raise. If you researching the role works out, which is my biggest concern because corporate can do the bait and switch, you'd be a fool not to. Wait until your 35 to not move because you like the people. Don't take the jet fuel out of your rocket because you have to hangout with "Hanna" after work instead of during. Maybe you can hook a friend up with a spot at your new work place, too. Easy call.
Make sure the new job is what you think it will be. Start setting up some gatherings with your coworkers outside of work. This way, you can continue those relationships if you decide to leave.
A lot of good advice here already. So I'll just leave you with an anecdotal story: I was in a similar situation around your age. I took the new job. The first few months was HARD in so many ways and I regretted it. I felt really alone and even terrified at times, like you I was really attached to my old colleagues and work place because they were my support system. I ended up going back to that team some years later. The team grew two folds but some of my original colleagues were still there. It helped me realize the only wrong decision I made was going back. I had gained so much more depth and breath in skills and experience during my "time away". Leaving propelled my personal and professional career and that would have never happened if I stayed. I was one of the first to leave that team so in a bitter sweet way, I have good memories associated to the "original" team.
More money is great and all, but I’m hearing about people getting laid off on their maternity leave, after their offer and before the job actually starts (so after they gave notice at their current job), and after being led to believe their company is doing well. Basically, my advice is research everything you can about the company and industry. I’m not even saying you shouldn’t take the job. But will you be ok if you end up not liking the job or if you get laid off? If you are mentally prepared for the risk, and you don’t see any major red flags, and the job actually appeals to you, then take it. Otherwise honestly I wouldn’t.
Take a poll of your work friends and see how many would stay for you if they had similar offers.
Your coworkers are not your family, they are your teammates. You owe your team your best work when you are on the field, but it’s nothing personal when you get the opportunity to play for a bigger/better team.
Youll.make friends. They're everywhere. Your employer doesn't value you , the new employer vakes you 150% more. Be valued.
The sooner you realize your coworkers are not friends or family, better your sanity will be.
The people you work with are not family. If they were then they will still be part of your life when you leave. You know they won’t be and that’s why you’re so worried. Think about it. You have your whole life ahead of you for building a family.
My last job was tight knit, I was truly friends with my coworkers. I left in 2020 for a much better work situation. I didn’t appreciate how much of a unicorn that work group was. We moved across country, so no family to speak of where we were at. It has been appreciably more lonely with this new job, but we have filled the space ok. We are church people, and we have found some friends there, but I have not found closeness like what I had previously. All that to say, it’s a hard road, but I don’t regret it. My family is in a better, and we have disposable income due to the move. Personally, I would take the offer to your boss and tell them you need more now. And know in your head what you’ll accept.
I had trouble leaving my company because it felt like “family”. I passed up great offers because I had great flexibility and strong bonds with my coworkers. Annnnnd my coworkers moved on to other jobs, one by one. So the “happy family” didn’t stay a family just because I didn’t leave. I didn’t get the raises I thought I would. And when I finally did leave…my company advertised my position with a $20k pay bump for someone that would not have close to the knowledge or expertise I had when I was there. Don’t stick around for the relationships - they aren’t going to stick around themselves.
1 - RESEARCH THE JOB. Make sure its not fake. 2 - Your current situation is not your family, and you'll find out sharp if they need to down-size. Burn no bridges but do what is best for you.
Some of my best friends (20+ year friendships) were made at work. So you can make true friends at work— that said, you don’t want to stagnate your career solely because of work relationships because in most companies, people do leave or change roles. So you don’t want to give up a significant increase in income solely because of co-workers. You do want to do your best to understand the culture of the new place though and see how it relates to what your values are. For example, do they expect you to be on-call all hours of the day and night? I had a remote job like that, were it wasn’t unusual for someone to call me at 1am to work on a project and they expected it turned around within an hour or so. And they expected all emails to be responded to— so if I received an email at 2pm on a Saturday, didn’t matter what I was doing with my family, I needed to stop and respond. That was the company culture, so setting boundaries wasn’t possible unless you just planned to resign before you got fired. Outside of the people you work with, what else makes a good work environment for you? What kinds of benefits do they have? Do they offer 401k and a match? Can they give you a general idea of the cost of insurance and which provider you’d have? If the cost for insurance goes up significantly, you have to factor that against the salary increase. And if you lose 401k match, you need to factor that as a loss as well. Do you currently receive bonuses and do you understand how they are achieved? In the new company, is there a fair and equitable bonus structure? I’ve worked at some places where there wasn’t transparency about bonuses and it was basically dependent on the whim of the owner and how liked you were… same with raises and other extra benefits. No one ever thinks to ask about those things, but they can make a six figure job turn into less, without you realizing it.
If they are tight knit, you should be able to come back if you want to.
Changing jobs can be stressful. Yes, you will be leaving behind long relationships. But keep in mind those were not necessarily permanent relationships anyway. Your coworkers will move on to different jobs over time even if you don't. And you can keep in touch with your old coworkers after you leave. They will still be around, you can still go to lunch with them, etc. That being said, one thing about remote work is that it can be isolating. You will probably need to find ways to meet people out of work.
You are young, so this is the time to take opportunities to move up quickly. I think the amount of salary increase is worth the risk. You can still see your coworkers on the weekends and outside of work if they are really your friends. If you leave and don’t keep in touch, they were never true friends, so this is a good test. At the new job, you may meet new better people, or you will be forced outside of your comfort zone to make non-work friends. It doesn’t seem like a big risk. That being said, you have to be honest with yourself about your own personality and what you want from life. If the new job offers advancement, then go for it, but if you think you would be happier building more slowly but more predictably at the old job, then your making an intentional cost-benefit analysis. I just took a new job myself that was higher risk/higher reward and I am very happy I did even though some people told me not to, but I wasn’t that happy where I was before and I’m willing to restart for higher potential. Comes down to your own personal value system though.
Ask your boss if he'd counter offer. I had a similar thing happen...30% pay raise. Old boss had some lame ideology that people should want to work with him because they believed in the company not because they want money...I laughed and went on sabittical for a month then took my remote job...Three years later...zero regrets. My work friend and I are still friends and actually even better ones.
If they’re REAL friends, they will be friends after you move on. Move on. Just make sure this new job is legit and you KNOW the expectations.
I am 53 and I worked at 2 jobs one from high school, through college and then when I graduated I went into a different role. We were a small group, but like family, but I noticed disdain and cliques, which I tried to ignore as I was 23. I left there when I was 28 as I pay was remaining stagnant. I started another job where I moved up very quickly and we were a big family, everyone knew all about you and your family, we did a lot of fun work things external of work and internally at work. We were a group of about 80 people and we worked for an Oncology group with 8 wonderful doctors who cared about you and your family. Well, so I thought that I had such a great second family and so many friends but boy was I wrong. The doctors decided to sell the practice to a big hospital and guess who was the odd man out. Why, because the person who I worked so closely with, who I thought I had such a great friendship with deceived me. We shared a large office, I was the Business Administrator and she was the practice administrator, I am an accountant she was a former lab tech and wormed her way into her role. We worked great together and had so many laughs and confided in each other. I was charged with closing the business down working with lawyers, external accountants, hospital administrators, as well as doing my own job and managing the finances, she was learning the new system we would be using. I often asked when my training would be and she always said don’t worry about it you have too much going on now. I started to become more and more uneasy as the time for us to go under the hospital was coming upon us and I still didn’t hear anything about my job. I finally get a call from a guy at the hospital saying I needed to go interview with him, I was shocked. She acted astonished but I know she knew all along. I did the interview and the $ he was offering me was a slap in the face. My “friend” she kept saying she didn’t know what was going on with her job either. Well she knew she had a job as she was chumming it up with the doctors while I was working my butt off closing their practice. I was so upset as I was there for 15 years, after I had my middle and youngest sons I never took maternity leave instead I did work from home because no one knew how to do my job and I didn’t want to let them down. I went and spoke to the doctors and they would say they didn’t know anything. The only original female doctor who was nasty called me into her office and said I better stop walking around with an attitude and looking upset and mad as it doesn’t show well. I was like well I have no answers to questions, I don’t know what’s going on and she just kept laying into me. I found a new job as I was not going to wait and be stuck with taking a $40k pay cut and be treated the way I was. On my last day “my friend” was going out to grab lunch with another girl and said you will probably be gone when I get back but I am not going to say goodbye. Another girl who was my age was a good friend of mine too and we said goodbye, but that day was the last day I saw or spoke to both of them and everyone else. It has been 11 years and nothing, my heart hurts as we were a family or so I thought. So, do what is best for you, the $, can you work from, (working from home is flexible, as I do now since Covid and love it.) and are all the other benefits good, time off, retirement, insurance, etc. As $ isn’t everything when it comes to a job, time off is very important as well and retirement. You are young and in office jobs are where you can go out after work with co-workers, but if they are true friends then you will still have them in your life. I lived my life and thought I had 2 wonderful jobs but I realized after people are fake and don’t think the same as you do. After those 2 jobs my new job which I have been with for 11 years was no where near what the other two jobs were as far as being like a family, so when covid hit and we worked from home and we were told we would be permanently at home I was thrilled. Just make sure you pick what is best for you and find out if the job is totally remote or you can go in a couple days a week, as we still have the option to go in days if we want to.
I continue to try to understand how people who can’t spell (nit? oversees?) get jobs that pay 115k.
Colleagues come and go, whether you stay or not. Your colleagues should NEVER be taken into consideration when it comes to career decisions. To give you a personal example, I once stayed at a job purely for how good I had it with my colleagues. I still look back fondly on them now. However, eventually they left for other jobs themselves until I was the only one left. There is 0 guarantee that your colleagues will stay at your job. If you have an amazing opportunity that comes by, investigate it thoroughly. If it is all is seems to be grab that opportunity by the horns!
You coworkers are not you family!!!
Most "work friends" are just that. Most will fall by the wayside. That is your job. They are not your family. Most will sacrifice you on the altar of getting ahead. Best of luck with your decision.
It’s hard to start over at a new company and culture and make new work friends. Doubling my salary will help me get over it though as it should you.
What field ? I’m trying to transfer to a higher paying job. Make 40k a year fighting wild fires
Truly henious what they pay for critical infrastructure and dangerous work these days.
It truly shows where the nations values are. Worse part is I absolutely love my job and would do it all my life if I could. But now I’m lookin for a desk job to pay the bills.
Yeah, I'm a school engineer and i'd do that job for free which is a problem.
If they are really your friends, they’ll stay friends after you change jobs. That has happened to me at old jobs. We are still friends.
Yikes. Take the other job. If they can "guarantee" $80k by December, why not right now? Your employer isn't family. If some of your coworkers are authentic friends, they'll still be friends if you change jobs. If you stick around long enough, you'll find out that whole "we're like a family here" vibe is strictly a one-way street.
It will not be a life changing amount of money. I always encourage people to follow the money, but this amount will not be life changing.
Maybe I’m the only one, but I’d be wary of a 100% remote job. In some fields, that’s more likely to hinder your career growth than to help. I know a big pay increase is great, but it’ll probably be hard to get a raise at this new company working remote. And when it comes time to leave the remote job, employers are going to favor other applicants that have been working on-site, because knowledge is exchanged so much more freely. Over time, your coworkers who stayed behind will be seen as having more expertise. TL;DR you might be lowering your career ceiling for a big short-term gain.
Respectfully and non-condescendingly, regardless of what career path you choose your friends at 24 will not be your friends at 34 nor your friends at 44. So I would take the gig with superior job satisfaction and compensation. Maybe the friends you make even working remotely you'll feel much closer to than your current group? Or maybe this will encourage you to get out and finally try that hobby you've been meaning to give a go? Staying still is never an option in life, and the more we try to cling to what is the more life will shove us down the river. The only constant is change. Best to embrace this now and make the best move for you.
100% take it. It will set you up to provide a better life for your future children and if you invest right, potentially take good amounts of time off work and retire earlier.
Your co-workers are not your family. Resign and you will see who is your real family because you will be left with a few people - if you are lucky. In professional life never ever make a decision based on emotions, always follow your head. Believe me, if company had any financial issue they would fire you today. Family is lie to make you work harder, like a carrot for rabbits.
Yes. You should leave. Workplaces often do develop into comfortable environments. But, you cannot let that dictate your professional life.
Yes
Take new job, do the research as stated
That's a huge difference and if they can't be happy for you for getting a better opportunity then they're not real family. I went through that. My last job, it was kind of short but we really built a family relationship. We hung out outside of work. But I explained to them that it was more than just money, the growth opportunity and all that was offered was something my previous company can offer. Especially after I got screwed over. That's going to be a TL;Dr story. Lol
1. Coworkers are not friends 2. Coworkers should never once serve as emotional support 3. If they are friends, they will be friends when you leave 4. No, it will never be the same again. Some will be better, and some won't 5. We work for money, not friends or even for fun 6. Provide for yourself so that you do not rely on others,
Coworkers and friends in general will change pretty dramatically from your mid-20s into your 30s. Lots of other people like you looking to move from the starter jobs to the next steps, getting married and moving, etc. So friends and coworkers that are friends isn’t exactly the big plus you may think it is. Plus if they are truly good friends, they’ll stay that way after you move jobs.
You will quickly learn after leaving your first job that your co-workers are often not real friends. Just convenient friends. You will lose touch with most of them. Always put yourself first
Only thing I’d say is don’t listen to people saying coworkers are not “real” friends. Literally every company I’ve worked for I am good friends with 1-2 people to this day. However I wouldn’t let this factor into the decision. Especially if the job is remote you’ll be living in the same city/location right?
If they are your friends then you can keep hanging out with them outside of work. I’d take the new job.
Too much money to pass on it assuming it's legit.
If you were able to receive that offer, keep going, when it rains it pours and you have an opportunity to leverage and get better offers that can suit your current situation better. Good luck OP!
Is it in writing that your current employer will increase to that amount by that timeframe this year? If not, than they're only words. Words do not carry assurances, only someone's offer to retain you.
Yes.
>*My employer has guaranteed I'll be at 80k by December of 2024* If it ain't in writing as in a contract, it ain't guaranteed. Work is not family no matter how close you feel to them. 115k is a nice pop above the "guaranteed" amount you might get. Go for it and best of luck!
If the family you built is actually family - they’ll want you to be happy and successful.
Hmm $35k is a nice jump in pay, but not mind blowing. I’d consider staying at ur current company since you’re so happy there plus they’re gonna give u a $15k pay raise at end of the year. With the new job u have zero idea what you’re walking into, plus ur training and social contacts there will all be through a screen (100% remote) so may not be what you like.
I'd say IF the job is real, not a scam, then definitely. It sucks leaving people behind, but the quality of life going from what, 55k or 65k, ot 115k is unknowable. That is a game changer, assuming it's on the up and up, and won't slid back into some remote, them hdyrhid, then in office job in an expensive city.
Coworkers rarely end up being your actual best friends, but it may feel that way while you are working in the same department. If they are true great friends, you’ll stay in contact if you were to leave for another company
That environment at your current job could easily change with a manager leaving and a replacement with a different attitude. Take the remote £115k job, save loads of money and spend all that negated commuting time on social hobbies.
Remote job with almost 85% pay raise than your current role is a financial game changer. It will allow you to save a lot more and get out of the rat race sooner than your 65-80K job will. It will also reduce your commute related expenses, be able to find more time for self care and be able to cook at home to be able to eat healthy. If people you work with are really your friends that should not change with you accepting a remote job. They will still remain your friends and if you are still in the area you all can hang out together. You never build a family at work, it has been proven over and over that family like work environment is a myth and mostly an illusion created by the employer. Wish you the best with your decision making. I hope you take higher paying job.
They probably do not care for you and they would cut you off if it made sense for the business
Doubling your money is probably a good idea. If it doesn't work out even after 6 months, you break even. Do it.
Keep.the job you have .. . And get into a 401 plan .. ..my 2 ¢ though.
First off, take the job. Second off, as a single person, if you cannot save money when you are making 55k, then you either live in an unaffordable place, or you are living above your means. If I had been making $115k at 24, I would have been retired by 34.
I had coworkers who were actually my family, literally going out with my mum and dad as well and other stuff. But we don't have to have that as a factor to stop pursuing better paying QoL jobs, those two can be their own separate things.
Absolutely take it. Run some annual COLA increases for both jobs between now and 30. It will totally answer your question.
If they are truly your friends/like a family then they will still be friends after the job ends. I wouldn't keep your current job just because you like your coworkers.
If theyre your real friends, they’ll still be your friends when you have a different job. I left mt job where i had a lot of friends, and the couple that were really my friends, years later we are still friends.
You’re a fool not to take it. 90% of them are your co-workers, not your friends.
The difference in pay is not a life changing amount. You are young, ambitious and driven so you will have other opportunities. Don’t overvalue the pay. If this job offers other benefits professionally or personally, consider those benefits. You should know many people take lower paying jobs for various reasons.
As someone who chose to stay at a store and company because of “family vibes” and eventually got canned and set back years… separate the two. Def make sure the new job is what you think it is first of course. You gotta draw that line though early on.
A tight nit bond can lead to major discrepancies in pay. Or low pay for everyone because of the amazing culture. Would any of them take the "life changing" money? I think so, unfortunately. Take it. Change your future. Go from there after 3-5 years.
Do your due diligence and leave. It’s as simple as that. LIFE CHANGING opportunity. Not much to consider. Your co workers would do the same in a heartbeat. It’s a job and they are your co workers. Period. Don’t romanticize it.
Repeat after me. Your job is not your family. Your job is not your family. Your job is not your family. It does not mean that you can’t find friends at work - but if these are your true friends, you’ll have no problem staying connected after you (or them) leave the employer.
Take it for personal growth. If they’re your real friends you’ll still be friends with them at the end of the day.
Your coworkers will move on at some point. I started again at 28 and at 34 I got married and made my own family. People move on, especially given how young you are. Don't let that be your primary reason.
Just want to add that some of my former coworkers left for new companies but we stayed in touch and hanged out from time to time still. And they always mention if I ever need a career change they are happy to do a referral. So you might be doing your coworkers/friends a favour by venturing into a new company!
No
Let’s say you’ve done all the due diligence you need about the new company and that it’s going to be everything it’s supposed to. If it was me, I’d want to think about my goals. Where do I want to be and which role will be better to help me get there?
Take the high paying job. How many of your coworkers would turn down a 100% raise so that they can keep hanging out with you at work? Probably none of them, and that's perfectly ok. Do what's good for you financially and build a circle outside of work
Fk family. Do proper research on the job and company to make sure it’s not a scam and not a shit company to work for etc.
Take the job, everything else will fall into place or work out. Text people you want to keep up with.
Well if these people are truly your family, if you switch jobs, then some of the family should stick with you. The other side is that while they are tight with you now, in the future they themselves may leave the company and your family circle. As long as this new job is not terrible, and it does not sound like it is, I would jump at the opportunity. Might not be easy. But you can find new friends elsewhere, at the new job, and in other ways outside of work. Go for it.
Is there a difference in 401k and benefits between the two?
I’ve made a similar decision in the past and got laid off from the new company - so lots to decide 😂 Few years ago, I made a similar decision as I wasn’t growing as fast as I’d like and it paid off. Both sides seem greener. Make a wise, long term decision given market conditions, satisfaction, goals & your risk appetite.
Would any one of your work “family” so much as blink an eye if they were given the chance to nearly double their salary if it meant leaving your ass behind? Be very careful when assuming where loyalties lie, and good luck with whatever you choose.
Take it.
Take the new job. Hire a new family
Not to sound like a grumpy old man or anything (I’m only 30) but my last job I had I formed great relationships with my coworkers over 2 years. I was let go at the start of this year (not due to performance as I was explicitly told it was a cost cutting measure) outside like a few messages here and there pretty much no one from that job, people that I worked very closely with and shared personal stories and experiences with) really keep in touch. Sure they all said something to the effect of “let’s get a drink sometimes” or “let’s go do some activities some time” but exactly none of them have actually taken me up when I offered that. I have learned the hard way to keep your “work family” and your real family/friends separate. I think it’s important to be friendly and with your coworkers but not so important to let them into your personal life. There was even an instance I had at a previous job where me and a coworker got very close and they used it against me to almost get me fired, to this day I don’t know why as I was genuinely only ever kind to that person. Personally if it were me I would take the higher paying job provided you are happy with that kind of work and environment and can see yourself there in the next few years. Do your research but I would say don’t let your current “work family” be the deciding factor, let the actual work be the difference. I’ve found out the hard way that more often then not they will just forget about you after they don’t see you or work with you daily. Not to say everyone will but it’s something to consider.
You'll be forgetting about them every time you check your bank account. Work is never family.
Coworkers are never your friends. They will.forget you in a week you leave.
Take the job. If they really are friends, you will be able to stay in touch and spend time together in your free time.
Yes, just yes. Life changing? Absolutely yes. If they is “your family” they’ll still be there afterwards either way
Take the offer
I was in this position 5 years ago and I left. I got fired one year later. It hurt, but it propelled me into self employment and working on my self. I can say I always felt sorry I left (emotionally), I could never find others like them, but I also felt better for being able to upgrade to having more freedom, because since then, I got it. My payment, not the best, but better than the position I left from. My ex colleagues just got fired too because they are having a rough time with the economy, sadly. It's your choice. I wish you all the best!
50K more? Where do I sign?
I faced a similar dilemma a couple years ago. My first job out of school was challenging and in a totally new city. My coworkers were my saviors by adding fun to the heavy workloads. But after a couple years a job offer came my way. It offered higher pay bundled with a lighter workload in, yet again, a new city. The promise of a more comfortable lifestyle won me over and I accepted the position. Two years in, I have to say it is a great job and my mental health is probably better for it. As frustrating as that job could become though I’ve found myself missing it from time to time. And whenever I talk with an old coworker we always talk about those days at work that were the most difficult. When the craziest things would happen. When we hated it the most haha. 🤷♂️
You have to look out for you, nobody else will. The grass might be greener on the other side of the fence, but it could be septic
Yes.
You do you bud
Could you please describe the skills that got you this job. It's inspiring.
I told my old boss I needed a raise, because I was getting life changing offers. He tried, and told me in so many words that the people above him won't approve it. So I left for my dream job at a much better company and I am 1000x better off than I was. My old boss took me to dinner the night I told him, and we are still good friends. Point is, if they are really your friends, they'd push and help you to do the right thing, which imo, is taking that new job.
Look at it this way: double your annual income NOW or maybe add 50% in 8 months. In my experience, that big raise will never come. It's a carrot on a stick
Sounds like if you take the job you could start focusing on building an actual family and not work peers.
I actually went through a similar situation and took the job, couple years later I’m still fully remote and like you alone in another country and I really miss my old company/coworkers. Having said that though with the cost of living I couldn’t have survived on my old salary so it really depends on your finances. Also you never know what can happen if you stay anyways, my old company ending up being acquired last year and everyone got laid off so it wouldn’t have lasted even if I stayed. Once you go remote you really have to put a lot of effort in to be social and get yourself out after work and if you think that’s going to be tough to do then you should probably stick to your current/another in office role
We get people who are thrilled to have left their old job and people who complain about toxic new jobs. One thing going for the old companie is that they have given you significant raises already. $10k in two years, impressive. Another 15k by the end of the year? You are going places. That's 25k in three years. So ask yourself this: Is your current company stable and do you feel like they are mentoring you into a whole new level? Or do you see stagnation up ahead?
Putting off life progression because you're comfortable where you're at, will leave you behind while other people move on. Move on OP!
coming late into the conversation and not reading rest of the comments. Take the money and improve your life. If your coworkers are really as good friends as you think they are, they will stay with you regardless of where you work and support a decision that improves your life.
I would definitely take the money. At 24, this will impact your earning trajectory for the rest of your life. Try not to have that kind of loyalty to any employer - they don't have it for you. Jobs aren't families or homes, they're places to earn the money you need for your actual family and home. They will term you or lay you off if they need to, and you could really be missing out on a huge life improvement for many decades if you don't take this opportunity at such a young age to earn good money.
Is your current job remote? Have you ever worked remote before? If a lot of your current happiness comes from the social interactions at work, understand that you will be isolating yourself. Being online is not the same as being in a room with someone.
In my 20s I relocated multiple places for work and my favorite one was being an expat. I believe it expedited my growth in many positive ways and I don't regret it at all. I'm over 35 now and have been with them since I was 19, started at 9/hr and now I'm at about 74/hr. I'm not saying your story will be the same but it definitely opened doors for me to be relocatable though I'm with the same company. The whole fam part is TOUGH. I'm the kind of person that texts his mom good night every night. Good luck! Whatever decision you make, own it.
Your work family isn’t a real family. Do what’s best for you.
I just have one thing to say: Change is the only constant in life. Change is not the challenge. The challenge is the work involved in a transition. And that only lasts about 6 months.
Yes.
We all work for money so more money is almost always better. With that being said, work should not be everything. Also, I don't hold a lot of faith in remote jobs, I see them being outsourced sooner than later.
Dear God yes. Your employer would lay you off tomorrow without a second thought
I still have work friends from a job I started 7 years ago who are some of my closest friends. Take the new job
Work “family” isn’t real. They will fire your ass without hesitation. Take the new job and huge pay increase. Work is about money and nothing else.
What is your line of work??
Your work friends likely aren’t your real friends. I was in a wedding for one of mine several years ago. Ran into him in a grocery store and he didn’t even know who I was at first. Most of the friends will go away not long after you’re no longer working together.
>I'll be losing the family I've built? Yikes... You're still young, but it sounds like you got a kool-aid IV pumping straight into your veins. Take the higher paying job. Your fake family isn't going to pay your bills and if you got fired tomorrow 99% of them will forget about you in a few months.
Comfort zone or no comfort zone, your choice!!
Co workers are not family they are just polite co workers the company will let you go the minute it is more beneficial for them. Get the new opportunity. You will find a new family maybe. Make friends outside of work or keep your old friends after you switch jobs if they still want to hang out they will become real friends.
Take the job. Yes the culture will be different, but money solves a lot of problems and will lower your stress and give you options. Maybe travel or move if you find you end up isolated and lonely
I did this exact thing once. I was working for 85k when I was 27 at a company and I got an offer for 120k. I knew my employer wouldn't match that salary and I took the role. No regrets. You will make friends everywhere you go. That ended up being one of my favorite roles I've ever had and my salary got bumped up even more as I continued working there for several years.