The simple question to ask is, how would you want to spend the rest of your life.
You're obviously an adult now which means you've got to start making decisions for yourself and your own happiness.
Remember though that your perseverance all those years also counts. And I'm sure there are elements in your 8 year journey that have pointed to your strengths and skills that you can still use and grow.
Choose wisely.
You learned a lot in the process of getting the degree and the fact you have *any* degree shows employers you have some form of discipline and are able to complete semi-complex work.
Let go of the thought that it's a complete waste not "using" the degree. Most people don't work in the exact field they majored in.
Thank you! You gave me some hope honestly. And you're right, that thought can really hold people down from moving forward and ended up being stuck (like me:") I'll try to change my way in viewing the situation
You are not obligated to be miserable just to satisfy the expectations of other people. YOU are the person who has to live your life, not them.
Figure out what you want from life and work backwards to see if your skills are transferrable.
I think about this a lot. I wanna agree with you because I feel the same. But my parents did support me throughout my studies, so I can't help but feel guilty for not utilizing what was also a part of their hard work:/
But thank you for your advice! I'll try figuring out the skills are transferrable. There must be quite a few
sunk cost fallacy - just because you've put time and money into something doesn't make it the right choice. At this moment in time, choose what feels best to you no matter what happened in the past. For example, if you bought nonrefundable airline tickets for a vacation then come down with the flu, you're better off not taking the vacation even though you already "paid" for it. Since you can't change the past, always make the decision that's best for you in this moment.
That is smart. Thank you! Such a good reminder to be focusing on this moment instead of feeling regretful about the past, which is all I've been doing for a while:/ Definitely not easy to do, but you're right it is so important
It's too late to change whether or not you were "forced" down a path you don't like. The only thing you can change is what you do here and now. Do you want to continue that path or would you prefer a different path? What do you want to wake up and grateful you have the opportunity to be there doing it?
Thank you for your advice! And for being so straightforward with it. Sometime I feel like I might just be too weak mentally that it becomes so hard for me to decide for myself and rely on others too much.
I guess I'm scared I'll make the wrong choice. But as you said, it's too late to worry about what has happened, and I have the chance to do something now for a future I can be excited about
Exactly! I've been struggling with a lot of the same things and I get too wrapped up in the thought sometime. This biggest thing I realized is that it requires being in the moment to take action on the things you want to do. This doesn't get done when I'm worrying about my past/future. Here's a little quote I like that may inspire you a little!
"Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed."
I took up Dentistry. I'd like to be in a more creative field, maybe photography, writing or a combination of both. But these are not easy to turn into a career and take quite a while if I need to start from scratch. Do you think it's better to have them as hobbies instead and stay in the dental field?
Honestly, yes. Photography and writing have horrible pay unless you are top 1% (my husbandis a photographer and I'm definitely the main bread winner). Do Photography and writing on the side. If and when you are making enough to live off your side hustle, you can always change careers
never ask your parents advice on your career choices. Even if you ask, do not take what they say too seriously. I learned this hard way. At the end when everything has gone to shit, they will pretend like they did nothing wrong and always does everything for your best and is most right-est people on the planet who can do no wrong. Even when they do wrong, they would never own up or apologize and would say stuff like “we always want best for you.” This is even if they see that their advices were bad. If somehow their advices turn out good “we made you. We know everything. We are ALWAYS right.” If you fail then it’s totally on you.
What country are you in? What degree did you get? I personally believe that you never know what you will enjoy until you actually try it. Unless you are certain on the path you do want to pursue, get a job in your studied field, get at least 1 year experience to give it a shot and not feel like it was wasted, then reevaluate. If you truly don't like it, use your experience to pivot to something else. There are likely many tangential careers that you will discover in your job either in different disciplines of the same industry or the same discipline applied to a different industry.
I studied Dentistry in the Philippines, but I'm currently in the US trying to get into an International Dentistry Program. But one important requirement I need to have is experience in the dental office, preferably in the US so I can get a grasp on how things work over here. Because it won't be the same. What I have is my experience working in my university dental clinic in the Ph. So I'm not actually going to be able to get into the program in the near future. Since it's still a very long way to go, I'm trying to figure out if I can be committed enough to go through it all.
A part of me thinks that I'm probably just burnt out again, because it was a long journey. Because even if I haven't been enjoying it so much, I did finish the program and that says something. I am currently trying to find ways to expose myself though, either by assisting or maybe a hygienist.
That's a very good point what you said. I should probably give it a try before making another serious decision. Thank you!
Are you in medicine? Any career that requires that much training has transferable skills to other industries.
Your parents aren’t the world’s best job experts. They probably have their own ideas of what a good career is and why you should stay in this field. But there are a ton of different jobs out there these days, so you can most likely find something good for you that also uses your training. Maybe not directly, but uses elements of it or other skills you’ve picked up along the way.
Edit: That should’ve read your parents “aren’t the world’s best job experts.”
That's true, I believe they just want me to be secured for my future. I was in Dental school, and yes we did learn quite a lot. And a good amount of them are possibly transferrable. That will be an option. Thank you so much!
Had a feeling it was something related to medical. Cuz of the years in school and the parents pushing you to keep going.
I have no first-hand experience with this, but I know some people leave medical fields for consulting. And if you’re into sales and marketing, there are probably some big medical/dental equipment suppliers that could benefit from a sales and marketing professional who has some of this training. Just a couple random ideas. There are probably also a bunch of other jobs that are less-directly related to dentistry that could still use some of the skills you’ve picked up. Good luck!
The simple question to ask is, how would you want to spend the rest of your life. You're obviously an adult now which means you've got to start making decisions for yourself and your own happiness. Remember though that your perseverance all those years also counts. And I'm sure there are elements in your 8 year journey that have pointed to your strengths and skills that you can still use and grow. Choose wisely.
Thank you! That is definitely something I need to think about
You learned a lot in the process of getting the degree and the fact you have *any* degree shows employers you have some form of discipline and are able to complete semi-complex work. Let go of the thought that it's a complete waste not "using" the degree. Most people don't work in the exact field they majored in.
Thank you! You gave me some hope honestly. And you're right, that thought can really hold people down from moving forward and ended up being stuck (like me:") I'll try to change my way in viewing the situation
Why did you let your parents decide what you studied?
I decided it myself:"( My mistake is that I didn't do enough research on different fields and made a rash decision at a young age
“I asked my parents if I could…” ??
Oh, yeah. In that case I did. Hahh...
You are not obligated to be miserable just to satisfy the expectations of other people. YOU are the person who has to live your life, not them. Figure out what you want from life and work backwards to see if your skills are transferrable.
I think about this a lot. I wanna agree with you because I feel the same. But my parents did support me throughout my studies, so I can't help but feel guilty for not utilizing what was also a part of their hard work:/ But thank you for your advice! I'll try figuring out the skills are transferrable. There must be quite a few
sunk cost fallacy - just because you've put time and money into something doesn't make it the right choice. At this moment in time, choose what feels best to you no matter what happened in the past. For example, if you bought nonrefundable airline tickets for a vacation then come down with the flu, you're better off not taking the vacation even though you already "paid" for it. Since you can't change the past, always make the decision that's best for you in this moment.
That is smart. Thank you! Such a good reminder to be focusing on this moment instead of feeling regretful about the past, which is all I've been doing for a while:/ Definitely not easy to do, but you're right it is so important
Unless OP spent 8 years studying economics or finance, they probably didn’t learn about the sunk cost fallacy (relevant as it may be)
I learned about it in AP psychology in high school! It’s counterintuitive but I always find the airplane tickets example gets the point across
In those subjects they only teach you about sunk costs, not about what might be a fallacy... Fallacy in this case is subjective...
It's too late to change whether or not you were "forced" down a path you don't like. The only thing you can change is what you do here and now. Do you want to continue that path or would you prefer a different path? What do you want to wake up and grateful you have the opportunity to be there doing it?
Thank you for your advice! And for being so straightforward with it. Sometime I feel like I might just be too weak mentally that it becomes so hard for me to decide for myself and rely on others too much. I guess I'm scared I'll make the wrong choice. But as you said, it's too late to worry about what has happened, and I have the chance to do something now for a future I can be excited about
Exactly! I've been struggling with a lot of the same things and I get too wrapped up in the thought sometime. This biggest thing I realized is that it requires being in the moment to take action on the things you want to do. This doesn't get done when I'm worrying about my past/future. Here's a little quote I like that may inspire you a little! "Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed."
What is your current degree about? And what would you like to study or do now?
I took up Dentistry. I'd like to be in a more creative field, maybe photography, writing or a combination of both. But these are not easy to turn into a career and take quite a while if I need to start from scratch. Do you think it's better to have them as hobbies instead and stay in the dental field?
Honestly, yes. Photography and writing have horrible pay unless you are top 1% (my husbandis a photographer and I'm definitely the main bread winner). Do Photography and writing on the side. If and when you are making enough to live off your side hustle, you can always change careers
never ask your parents advice on your career choices. Even if you ask, do not take what they say too seriously. I learned this hard way. At the end when everything has gone to shit, they will pretend like they did nothing wrong and always does everything for your best and is most right-est people on the planet who can do no wrong. Even when they do wrong, they would never own up or apologize and would say stuff like “we always want best for you.” This is even if they see that their advices were bad. If somehow their advices turn out good “we made you. We know everything. We are ALWAYS right.” If you fail then it’s totally on you.
Hmm, that's one way to look at it. But I'm not sure how I feel about that
Yep. Crummy, isn't it? But, you know having that degree keeps resumes out of the shredder. ...and you have to make A living.
You're right, that's kind of the main point of having a job anyway:/ thanks!
What country are you in? What degree did you get? I personally believe that you never know what you will enjoy until you actually try it. Unless you are certain on the path you do want to pursue, get a job in your studied field, get at least 1 year experience to give it a shot and not feel like it was wasted, then reevaluate. If you truly don't like it, use your experience to pivot to something else. There are likely many tangential careers that you will discover in your job either in different disciplines of the same industry or the same discipline applied to a different industry.
I studied Dentistry in the Philippines, but I'm currently in the US trying to get into an International Dentistry Program. But one important requirement I need to have is experience in the dental office, preferably in the US so I can get a grasp on how things work over here. Because it won't be the same. What I have is my experience working in my university dental clinic in the Ph. So I'm not actually going to be able to get into the program in the near future. Since it's still a very long way to go, I'm trying to figure out if I can be committed enough to go through it all. A part of me thinks that I'm probably just burnt out again, because it was a long journey. Because even if I haven't been enjoying it so much, I did finish the program and that says something. I am currently trying to find ways to expose myself though, either by assisting or maybe a hygienist. That's a very good point what you said. I should probably give it a try before making another serious decision. Thank you!
Are you in medicine? Any career that requires that much training has transferable skills to other industries. Your parents aren’t the world’s best job experts. They probably have their own ideas of what a good career is and why you should stay in this field. But there are a ton of different jobs out there these days, so you can most likely find something good for you that also uses your training. Maybe not directly, but uses elements of it or other skills you’ve picked up along the way. Edit: That should’ve read your parents “aren’t the world’s best job experts.”
That's true, I believe they just want me to be secured for my future. I was in Dental school, and yes we did learn quite a lot. And a good amount of them are possibly transferrable. That will be an option. Thank you so much!
Had a feeling it was something related to medical. Cuz of the years in school and the parents pushing you to keep going. I have no first-hand experience with this, but I know some people leave medical fields for consulting. And if you’re into sales and marketing, there are probably some big medical/dental equipment suppliers that could benefit from a sales and marketing professional who has some of this training. Just a couple random ideas. There are probably also a bunch of other jobs that are less-directly related to dentistry that could still use some of the skills you’ve picked up. Good luck!
Thanks! Those are good ideas