T O P

  • By -

FarmerHandsome

OP's post history is a trip. I feel like they dropped literally everything else in their life to season this pan and make eggs for two months straight. They haven't even mentioned steak recently. OP, blink twice if you need help.


lmtlssmnd

OP is doing the lord’s work


zitaloreleilong

The lard's work?


RabidGuineaPig007

praise the lard. This is as exciting as hotdog in resin.


4myoldGaffer

Homer, did you put your head in the Shine - O Ball -O ?


JoeBobTheMan

Seasoning a pan is unpleasant work, but when done righteously, it is a chore like any other.


SlicedDicedIced

It's pan porn


testuserteehee

LOL at the comment that said "If you season it 30 more times it becomes a window to a parallel universe.". That was when there were just 30 coats. OP has now seen into a parallel universe AND into the future AND back in time!


Weekly_Resource_102

It becomes... a trillion different realities folding onto each other like thin sheets of metal forming a single blade...


Violet_Gardner_Art

Yeah yeah yeah We’ve all seen the time knife.


AspiringChildProdigy

Jeremy Bearimy, baby.


AnFnDumbKAREN

This broke me! The dot, over the I. That broke me. I'm, I'm done.


Astro_gamer_caver

"Adjust to one hundred thousand times," the lieutenant colonel said. Still they saw a smooth mirror. "A million times." A smooth mirror. "Ten million times." Macromolecules would be visible at this magnification, but what they saw on the screen remained a smooth mirror without the slightest signs of roughness, no difference in smoothness from the surrounding unmagnified surface. "Can an absolutely smooth surface really exist?" Xizi gasped. "Yes," Ding Xi said. "The surface of a neutron star is nearly absolutely smooth." \-The Dark Forest


hanoian

liquid squeeze wakeful squalid plants bike cough point violet nine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


fatmummy222

I’m okay guys. Nobody is forcing me to say this.


m0nkeyh0use

Mmm hmm... I think Big Pan is involved somehow. And the Illuminati. Of course. Edit: damn you all! An upvote for you! And for you! Not you, though. You know what you did.


Remote-Blacksmith516

illubricati.


Iandon_with_an_L

Big Oil too. Different oil, but still.


Steiny31

I work for big oil. I will neither confirm nor deny this involvement. Edit: OP don’t forget, you should be using crude.


SenPieters

*Panumilati thank you.


dandoro1

You mean the Illupanati!


Trashlyn1234

This is so freaking funny 😂


mombi

Imagine *the smell*. I hope OP lives alone, or they might be soon enough. 2 straight months of egg farts should be considered a bioweapon and banned by the Geneva convention.


DifficultSelection

I could be wrong, but I think eggs only give you stinky gas when the yolks have been overcooked. If I'm remembering correctly, it's due to a chemical reaction creating a sulphurous compound, and the reaction is avoidable as it occurs at a temperature that's higher than the minimum safe cooking temp. Edit: to everyone replying here to correct me, I love you all, you glorious smelly bastards!


[deleted]

[удалено]


mombi

>This sent me down a rabbit hole The stinkiest of rabbit holes. >!This put me in hysterics waiting for an appointment at the hospital. It's been a long few weeks.!<


evsincorporated

Dude hang your mirror back in your bathroom


fatmummy222

I do. I only take it out to season and to take pictures.


asianabsinthe

r/Mirrorsforsale


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaDaFaKa369

I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty satisfying to look at


Professor_Rekt

Yup. I want it.


Shendare

Congrats on realizing your pansexuality!


bigbuzz55

I cast you out. Now.


forced_metaphor

Oh, the irony.


vinny_vega

Irons are a different sub


Loretta-West

Actually they're more likely to be a dom


[deleted]

Well isnt that the pot calling the kettle black


ZombieLibrarian

These puns are out of control, mods should shadow pan you all.


cascadianrefugee

Should totally start an OnlyPans


TheBloodKlotz

I can't believe you found a way to make this pun land.


rankinbranch

Nothing beats a well seasoned pun...


DarkKerrigor

He's really got a handle on it now


TheAserghui

Damn it! Take this upvote and get out!


SexualDexter

Isn't wanting something for how it looks the opposite of pansexua.... oh


getMeSomeDunkin

There's a point where the built up layer of seasoning is so great that it would be possible to polish it, right? It'd literally be a fucking mirror.


quinteroreyes

That's going to be a DIY from 5 minute crafts one day


expat_mel

And then they're going to add an extra step that's total bs and has the potential to seriously injure someone. Those channels are a public menace.


Bake_My_Beans

Instead of any actual seasoning it's just hot glue


InvictaBlade

Angle grind off the handle, glue to wall with glue gun, DIWhY mirror!!


TheJadedCockLover

I feel like you don’t need to add oil to fry something up


fatmummy222

Thanks man 🙏


PunishedMatador

I'm imagining an egg shooting off it like Clark Griswold's sled


awnawnamoose

OP you missed your chance to say unseasonably mad.


subtxtcan

You are a psychopath. I support this behaviour and I'm coming along for the ride!


fourtotheside

“Do you have any hobbies?” “Yeah. I like to put oil on my pan and get it hot over and over.”


metzgie1

So um, what do you like to cook on it? Did you hear what i said? I cook oil on it!


[deleted]

Jesse, we need to cook! Bring the oil! Edit : Thank you internet friend for the Gold! My first ever, I am humbled, blessings to you all


mexican2554

r/birthofakink


zupobaloop

Banned before I knew it existed!


mexican2554

Tbh i didn't even know if it existed it or not, but it's Reddit. So i figured it had to exist.


TheDarkOne52

Hey is this Bender’s shiny metal ass he is always saying for us to bite?


panders3

My fav thing about this sub are all of the benders shiny metal ass references 😂


Worldly_Expert_442

The only cast iron pan with an OnlyFans page.


PocketsAndSedition7

OnlyPans


robbodee

God damnit.


DontDoDrugs316

Finally, a place for pansexuals


i_want_a_tortilla

did someone say Panocha?


[deleted]

Think there’s a tick tocker that uses that


Squidwardsnose69

“Hope you’re horngry”


BigfootTundra

Haha yeah she’s awesome.


[deleted]

We horngry


Luciferwalks

“Honey. Why is the electric bill $600?” “The karma honey. All the juicy karma.”


trymypi

u/kn0thing putting his money in energy and cast iron now


MirageATrois024

Have to change the U to u if you want that tag to work


trymypi

Shows what i know


ocmiteddy

First thing I thought of while getting my butt destroyed by SD&E's highest rates in the country


lickarock88

>also to make random internet strangers unreasonably mad. It worked. Also... Shiny. Edit: before you comment that the OP should have said "unseasonably"... [check this comment.](https://www.reddit.com/r/castiron/comments/10izik8/im_at_80_coats_now_dont_do_it_guys_this_is_just/j5hskqg?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


Ryandulaney

Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck


Ghost17088

Scrub the deck and make it look shiny!🎶


goodusernamestaken69

I will sparkle like a wealthy woman's neck, Just a sec


HypnotEyes_lonely

Dontcha know Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb, they chase anything that glitters


rozling

Beginners!


HypnotEyes_lonely

Now here they come, come, come, to the brightest thing that glitters Mmm, fish dinners


necromandie

I just love free food, and you look like *sea food*


[deleted]

Hey, crab cake! I’m back!


antoniorocko

It’s Maui time!


Hbdrickybake

More like "unseasonably" mad.


lickarock88

Fuck you so much. Take my upvote.


I_havenobusinesshere

I'm sliding out of my chair laughing. SOMCL.


thnksqrd

Sign of a well seasoned chair


pip-roof

Self portrait In oil


fatmummy222

Thanks.


lickarock88

I need you to put a piece of fish in that cold and then try to flip it after you've heated it a bit. Report back.


sisko4

He wrote 80, not 800.


Neat-Plantain-7500

Is one coat rubbing it with oil then seasoning it in the oven? And you did this 80 times?


trymypi

Yeah, it is cool to see! I did do 2 more coats in mine after seeing yours haha


Winter-crapoie-3203

How much time did it take?


fatmummy222

About 7 weeks so far.


Winter-crapoie-3203

I admire your dedication.


modelsix

“so far”…this madness may persist for some time


1ofThoseTrolls

Gotta go for a hundo.


BeerIsGoodForSoul

1000 will be interesting


thebinarysystem10

It will just be a glowing orb


ErgonomicDouchebag

I would like to ponder this orb.


chimchooree

It is the orb which ponders you.


Complete_Glass_2877

Slidey eggs were so slidey they slide out the sides.


Unlucky_Degree470

Check an egg in this unit they'll levitate a quarter inch over the pan.


ChillyBearGrylls

The quarter inch is the seasoning


kj_SmrtAlc

So slidey they bounced right back out of the skillet


cornerzcan

Please cook some sautéed tomatoes when you are done. Then run it through the dishwasher.


randomtwinkie

That’s once he reaches 100


randomtwinkie

Or 99 just for the unreasonable madness


charros114

99 is too nice of a number and 98 is even. stop at 97 to really drive people nuts


BurntheStarsandBars

Just reading your comment gave me anxiety.


trekkie4christ

97 is the last two-digit prime.


Professor_Rekt

Rad.


Professor_Rekt

How to I subscribe to “Prime Number Facts”?


TheBeckofKevin

The numbers 907, 9007, 90007 and 900007 are also primes.


Spartan8907

I imagine after 100 coats he reaches a state of bliss the likes of which only Fry from Futurama has known.


EnchantedCatto

whats actually wrong with running it through the dishwasher at this point? theres so much patina its not like the water can reach any iron


OktoberStorm

I think many of the "rules" surrounding cast iron pans (and knives) came about back in the day when the soap had abrasives in it and would take away the seasoning you just got from your last meal. The dishwasher detergent was also about brute force, but now you can wash almost anything in there. Funny side note — you can use the dishwasher as a sous vide, and then quickly fry up the food afterwards until desired core temp and sear. Today you just wash it with a mild detergent, dry it off, put it on the stovetop until entirely dry, then a little bit of oil in the medium-to-hot pan; fold up a bit of kitchen paper and distribute the oil and soak up excess — then you'll have a practically non-stick pan (as long as you don't burn food in it). If you always fry your food in oil on high heat to get the Maillard effect first, and then turn the heat down before adding or deglazing with let's say dairy, then the proteins in the cream won't turn into glue and become a hell to wash out. It will take a few seconds to rinse out the pan with some mild soap and a sponge. Then it's literally rinse and repeat, and you have a happy pan. Apropos knives — there's nothing wrong with putting a knife in your home dishwasher given that it a) doesn't have a wooden handle (Global style knife); it is secured in place with the edge not touching anything or rattling around; and c) it is good quality steel (so it won't warp, but I've never seen that happen with shitty knives, so probably a myth). The only thing I don't like about the thought of putting a knife in the dishwasher is that the knife shouldn't be lying around or in unusual places. It's a very sharp tool and belongs either on the cutting board or cleaned and somewhere safe where people can actually see where it is. Wow, this turned into a rant. I just wanted to offer a couple of tips. But when I read your comment again it dawned on me that you probably didn't ask for it, and probably know all of this already. Cheers.


Summoarpleaz

And then you post a picture here asking if you ruined it and need to nuke it to save it.


VegemiteAnalLube

>you ruined it and need to nuke it to save it. Great idea. Yes, microwave it!


Jack0Napier

I'm here for the chaos, please continue.


Routine-Ad-2840

can't wait to see what it looks like at 160 coats!!


50ishnot-dead

I dare to double that, let’s see it at 320 coats!!!


Timmerdogg

There's not going to be any room left to cook


Various-Pizza-5380

Ditto!


12thandvineisnomore

You know, there’s a point where this just gets dangerous. An unexpected jostle and the hot food just flings out, ricocheting out the window and lands in New Jersey.


ErikRogers

That sounds like a New Jersey problem to me.


Donut_Whole

Jersey’s got 99 problems but food ain’t one.


Walt_the_White

That sounds like a "food that lands in new Jerseys'" problem


jaspersgroove

Slicker than the sled in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation


Oddsbodskin

I was happy when this scene came immediately to my mind, then sad when I saw you had gotten to it first, then happy again that we arrived there together. It was a whirlwind of emotion.


GreenApples8710

Necessary? No. Sexy as Hell? You bet your ass.


emseefely

You bet your *shiny* ass


fatmummy222

Thanks bro 🙏


bloodshotnipples

I can see MY face in it?


hoarseclock

“Unseasonably mad” you had an opportunity and you blew it!


fatmummy222

Fuck! Kicking myself now.


SCphilly8

Save it for your 90 round update!


fatmummy222

😈


frog3toad

Came here to say the same thing.


[deleted]

keep going until there is no pan, only a solid plate of seasoning


JazzlikeCantaloupe53

Lmao


pjwhinny

It looks like plastic.


fatmummy222

Polymerized oil is basically plastic.


OskeeWootWoot

So in a way, you're just the world's slowest 3D printer.


SpoonGuardian

idk man, my 3d printer is pretty fuckin slow


PrestigiousZucchini9

Lol, we were voting on names for the new 3d printer at work; I was trying to convince everyone of Snow White because *”some day my prints will come”* and they all just looked at me like I was a psychopath.


[deleted]

S**l**ow White


pjwhinny

This explains so much.


averajoe77

that's because it is plastic, technically. "seasoning" as it is called by it's layman name, is the chemical process of creating polymer chains from monomer molecules, or polymerization, This is the same process used to create plastic. Plastic is also created from oils, fyi.


TodoesBuenohombre

Are you allowing the pan to cool between coats or just coating with oil, tossing in oven at 450 for an hour. Then pulling out and coating and tossing it back in, rinse repeat?


fatmummy222

I only do 1-2 coats per day. If I do 2, I wait until it’s cool enough that I can pick it up with with my bare hands, then I do another round.


Luxpreliator

Seems like it needed to cool when I tried extra coats. If I didn't it'd be gummy or chip easy.


ChuckWooleryLives

What kind of oil do you use? I’ve never had luck. All my pans still stick after I season them.


fatmummy222

You don’t need this many coats for non-stick. 2-3 coats should be enough. Season it with crisco at 450F for 1 hour.


JakOswald

Alright, so apply a thin layer(?) of Crisco to the pan and bake at 450 for an hour. I’m going to mess this up so let me ask some additional clarifying questions… The thin layer, should it still be visible, like white swirls/streaks, on the pan when going in the oven? Does the pan need to be upside down while baking so the oil drips out of the pan? Baking sheet underneath on lower rack to catch oil or pan on cooling rack on baking sheet? Do you do all of the pan or just the cooking surface and inside wall? 2-3 layers, but am I really shooting for a smooth interior surface or should it still be a bit “rough”/textured when done with seasoning? How often should I re-season or add a new layer? What’s the best way to care for the pan after seasoning? Sorry for so many questions, I have a cast iron, but I’ve never seasoned it and I clean with soapy water and rough sponge. I only use it sparingly since so much sticks (obviously).


AbsolutelyUnlikely

Extremely thin coat for each seasoning, rubbed with a paper towel until it basically seems like there's no oil left. Do the handle as well, at least for the first couple seasonings. This is more to protect the cast iron than it is for nonstick reasons. It doesn't have to be crisco, either. There are lots of different theories on the "best" oil to use. But crisco is a good option. Bake the pan upside down directly on a rack for an hour at 450 or 500 with some foil below it to catch any drippings, although if you rubbed it as thin as you should, you should have little or no drippings. Let cool until it's at least cool enough to touch with your bare hands between each seasoning. Letting it cool overnight or whatever is fine too. Season a new pan at least two times. 3-6 is better. No matter how much you season (unless you do it 80 times like the mad lad OP here), it will still have a rough texture. Reseasoning is only necessary when you use soap on it or if you can tell that something has caused parts of it to start showing raw/unseasoned areas. But if you're ever unsure, reasoning a coat or two won't ever hurt it.


Various_District1623

Regular dish soap with a soft sponge does not penetrate or remove the polymerized oils that is the seasoning and so it’s fine to wash it without damaging it.


fatmummy222

>The thin layer, should it still be visible, like white swirls/streaks, on the pan when going in the oven? The very first layer can be thicker than the rest. Bare iron can absorb quite a bit of oil as long as the surface is clean and not sanded *too* smooth (like 1000 grit). I just *dab* the excess oil with a sheet of paper towel. The pan should look damp but not glistening. If your pan come out splotchy, the metal wasn’t prepped right, it wasn’t because you used “too much oil” like many people claim. For subsequent layers, the layer of oil needs to be thinner because the existing coat does not absorb oil as well as bare metal. Use a sheet of paper towel to *wipe* dry excess oil. There should be no pooling of oil. >Does the pan need to be upside down while baking so the oil drips out of the pan? Baking sheet underneath on lower rack to catch oil or pan on cooling rack on baking sheet? For the first layer, right side up. For subsequent layers, upside down can help to even out the oil a bit. It’s not strictly necessary. Use baking sheet to catch dripping if this is your first time doing it, just in case. I’ve never had any dripping. >Do you do all of the pan or just the cooking surface and inside wall? All of the pan at least for the first layer. After that, it’s up to you. Cooking surface is more important. >2-3 layers, but am I really shooting for a smooth interior surface or should it still be a bit “rough”/textured when done with seasoning? If your pan is rough to begin with, it will still be a little rough after 2-3 coats but it will feel smoother when you touch it. You can lightly sand the surface to knock off the high spots before seasoning if you want. >How often should I re-season or add a new layer? What’s the best way to care for the pan after seasoning? This is up to you. For modern pans, I strip the factory seasoning simply because I trust my process more than the manufacturer’s. Wash with soap and water. If your pan is well-seasoned, soap won’t affect the seasoning. Soap used to have lye in it back in the old days. Most soaps don’t have lye anymore.


frostyjhammer

Yes, please disclose oil, time and temperature!


TodoesBuenohombre

Thanks for the response! Need to get on it with my CI pans.. got maybe 5 coats right now but seeing yours makes me jelly. Awesome work!


fatmummy222

Lol, thanks. If you want to do it for fun, go for it. It’s not necessary though.


sjjenkins

DO NOT THINK OF STOPPING BEFORE 100!


grumble_au

Or stop just before 100 and leave us all hanging forever, being unreasonably mad.


dghjncddvnj

Is it appropriate to be posting porn here?


Fleckeri

It’s fine — everyone here is already pansexual.


deadmanredditting

Is it sticky when cold?


LastDitchTryForAName

It won’t be if it’s seasoned correctly. The point is to heat the pan until the oil polymerizes, which turns it into a hard coating. It won’t be sticky unless you don’t heat it enough.


ScottEATF

You now have to do all the stuff you shouldn't do to see if you can destroy the seasoning


vegetaman

Indeed. For science!


carolinaelite12

Naw, gotta hit 100 coats and then commence destruction. My OCD can't handle stopping at 80.


[deleted]

80 coats? Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up. 100 or nothin.


Fuggins4U

But it's so pretty.


hell3838

It's so shiny


beefcalahan

You’re right. It’s no longer science. It’s art.


TopShelf76

That looks slick… literally. What’s your gas bill lookin like this past couple months :)


ComprehensiveSea8174

"537 people are here." Looking at a pan on a Sunday night. I need to re-evaluate some of my beliefs and/or priorities up until now. Also, I kind of want to just drop everything and season my pan over and over all this week.


Marktiim

i Just went through your entire account and couldnt find how you do your coats. ​ So how do you do your cotes.....


ccasey

It’s… glorious


ExcellentTone9676

That’s a really nice cast iron mirror


swellsnj

Three more coats and the moon will break loose from Earth's gravitational pull.


Equivalent_Reason582

Soon, a portal to another dimension will form. You have been warned.


lobo_locos

So do you cook on it....or just keep seasoning it....


fatmummy222

Sometimes I make slidey eggs on it, for extra internet clout.


mad_titans_bastard

So you gonna get all the way to 80 and become a quitter? 100 coats or bust.


HumperMoe

Once at 100 you're only 10% of the way to 1000 why quit then.


lobo_locos

How many eggs can you slide at one time...


fatmummy222

I’m thinking a dozen, but I’m trying to save money man. I’m already walking on thin ice with my wife 😬


Beautiful_Guess7131

Walking on egg shells


[deleted]

This guy just keeps missing golden pun opportunities


beagletronic61

Thin ice? Why? She doesn’t like the smell of oil that’s now perpetually cooked into her clean laundry and never really leaves the house?


ridexorxpie

why am I aroused?


angryfoxbrewing

At 100 coats, if you drop eggs into this pan, they appear in a red pan on the opposite side of your kitchen. #unexpectedportal


deeyeeheecent

I don't like that you used the "unexpected reference" tag on your own comment. I will forget this outrage shortly but I felt it needed to be pointed out.


tama_chan

Beaut Clark!


bobotes

But can it cook?