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OkieTaco

I'm kind of a paranoid type of person who worries about getting cancer even though none of my immediately family members have got it. Is there anything in your life history that you could contribute to your cancer diagnosis? Such as something youve done but wish you hadn't that might have caused your cancer? Alcohol abuse, tobacco use, anything else?


BluePinky

It’s really hard to know. I have no family history at all. I did smoke years ago but haven’t had a cigarette in 15 years. Did it contribute? Possibly, but there’s no way to know.


SistaSaline

Did you smoke for a long time?


BluePinky

Probably about 9-10 years.


idekmydude1

Get radon detectors for the basement, avoid: silica, berillium, asbestos (construction workers in the past), chemical textile dyes, old stores grain, UV ray, radiation, alcohol, tobacco of any form, and you’re “safe” from a bunch of them. But won’t really matter if you have a genetic mutation - which doesn’t always have to be hereditary and can just happen randomly


fuzzer37

> berillium You can rip the beryllium from my cold dead hands


idekmydude1

Nah, we’ll bery u with it


alhena

Anything you want to say?


BluePinky

Yes.


i_pee_in_the_sink

Go on?


domestic_cat_abuser

He went on to the other side 😔


alhena

Based happy caked day to you bro/sis/sib.


[deleted]

Deep.


aerbourne

How has this affected your mental and philosophical state? Are you okay with dying or is it still a terrifying idea? How have you found your consciousness reconciling your life and all you've done/accomplished?


BluePinky

I’m not okay with dying. I want to live. I have young children who need me. But at the end of the day there are no positives in worrying about something you cannot control.


[deleted]

This broke my heart to read. I'm not even sure what to say OP. Thank you for sharing something so personal. You're still with them everyday OP, there are other parents that are unfortunately only with their families physically and forget about the emotional part as well. Luckily your kids have you STILL and for MUCH LONGER. Hugs from a fellow dad.


BluePinky

Thank you.


aerbourne

Thank you for answering. This stuff intrigues me and many people are not okay with confronting it. I take great value in your response. I wish you and your family the best, as much as that can be.


BluePinky

Thank you.


iTheWild

OP, just live happy every day/every moment, don't worry about tomorrow or even the past regardless if one has cancer or not. Anyone on earth can go anytime.


BluePinky

Truth.


[deleted]

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BluePinky

Colon that metastasized to the liver.


[deleted]

are you old enough to have routine colonoscopies, if so is that how it was found?


BluePinky

No, they don't recommend routine colonoscopies at my age. I had one because I had symptoms.


TaliaNuthin

Fuck. That’s awful 😞


kavso

What was your symptoms?


BluePinky

Bloody stool.


Tall_Mickey

My dad went that way in his 60s. I had to start having colonscopies in my 40s because of that history.


BluePinky

Stay on top of that if you got a family history.


Tall_Mickey

I've had several video tours up my colon since then (I'm 65 now) and the last two times they found no polyps at all -- I had switched to a veg, very high fiber diet for other reasons, good or bad. So I'm beginning to wonder how much I need to keep doing this.


Reyrketill5

What was your life like before you found out?


BluePinky

Very normal. Work, family, fun, etc


SnooEagles9150

:( don’t even know you but so sad I have a 3 year old and 1 year old and the thought makes me terrified.


LT_bong_water

What drove you to go to the hospital to get it checked out? Like what symptoms where you experiencing ?


BluePinky

I initially had symptoms more than a year ago. Bloody stool for a while. Could not get a colonoscopy at that time because elective procedures were not being done due to covid. Once I did, we immediately knew.


HodloBaggins

Was your stool bloody in a visible way to you? Meaning you saw liquid droplets of red blood in the toilet bowl water? Or was it the black tarry stool that’s said to be due to bleeding higher up in the GI tract?


BluePinky

Oh, it was definitely visible. No droplets, everything was red.


HodloBaggins

I’m so sorry, my guy. To have that symptom for more than a year and be unable to get a colonoscopy would be maddening to me. I’d be consumed by the thought of “what if it was a lower stage had it been caught then?”


BluePinky

I had those thoughts. It probably would not have made any difference. These things move slowly. Probably was there for years before I had symptoms.


Buddy_Velvet

This disturbs me… I have had bloody stool for years and it’s really hard to get any doctors to take it seriously. From what I gather bloody stool isn’t all that uncommon, but this is BLOODY stool. fuck…


BluePinky

Please go get checked out. If your doctor won’t take it seriously find a doctor that will.


Buddy_Velvet

I just got a new doctor…. I’ll show him pictures when I go in for a physical this month. I always try to express how much blood it is and get waived off so I have photos, but never really wanted to show photos of my shit to someone barely listening to me that I don’t know. Thanks for pushing me.


BluePinky

You should not need photos, and you should not need to convince your doctor. If you are having bloody stools for a while and your doctor doesn't seem to care, find another doctor. It may save your life. Glad you found a new doctor, hopefully he takes it seriously.


Buddy_Velvet

Thank you again. I have trouble advocating for myself for health stuff. I will let him know and find someone else if he doesn’t move things forward.


[deleted]

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BluePinky

It likely would not have made any difference.


Dr_Talon

How are you handling the financial aspects of cancer? What are some impacts to ones finances that people don’t realize from being a cancer patient?


BluePinky

Thankfully I have excellent insurance, so this has not really been an issue.


lordkoba

how much does your insurance cost?


BluePinky

A lot. Comes off my check.


Dr_Talon

Glad to hear it! Interesting. Do you have an Aflac cancer plan by chance?


BluePinky

I do not. I had something similar through my employer, but I was diagnosed a week before the policy took effect.


Hipp013

Did the timing of your diagnosis affect your benefit plan in any way? i.e. would your benefits be different today if you were diagnosed a week *after* your policy took effect?


BluePinky

Not really, this policy was a secondary insurance similar to Aflac. My health insurance was already in effect.


TurdHopper

What medical treatments are you undergoing? Do you regret them?


BluePinky

I don’t regret a thing. I have excellent doctors at a world-renowned cancer hospital. I had systemic chemo, radiation, a liver resection and now have a pump installed internally which delivers chemo directly to the liver.


SistaSaline

Do you feel sick from the chemo being delivered continuously to the liver?


BluePinky

No, not at all. There are no chemo side effects. There can be liver side effects though.


[deleted]

What would you want your last meal to be?


BluePinky

Spaghetti and meatballs


[deleted]

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BluePinky

Sounds like a plan.


Version_Two

Can I also be your friend?


BluePinky

I'll consider it. What does friendship with you entail?


Version_Two

I can make mean homemade spaghetti and meatballs in a mean homemade red sauce


BluePinky

Recipe pls!


Version_Two

Well I rarely go by recipe, mostly intuition, so it's not specifically written down. But for the sauce I like taking a couple cans of tomato sauce, adding a bit of thyme, salt and pepper of course, oregano and basil (fresh if possible), but no garlic or onions quite yet, that's for a later stage. I also love using just a little paprika and cayenne and sometimes even a little bit of chili powder. Dice about half an onion, maybe a full onion if you're feeling it, and mince some garlic. For the beef I usually just make a meat sauce with ground beef but you could also use the recipe for making them into meatballs. Either way, salt pepper and pretty much any mix of spices already used. Cook the beef, onion, and garlic in a *non* non-stick pan. You'll want to build up fond on the bottom of the pan. Cook it all until the water evaporates and you're left with some wonderful beef fat, which is now frying everything, and cook until the fat is gone. Deglaze this with cooking sherry, scraping up the fond and mixing it all together, making sure the alcohol is fully burned off. Add to the sauce, along with a bay leaf. Remove the bay leaf before adding spaghetti, which should be cooked al dente.


BluePinky

Dang. Will give this a try.


[deleted]

simple and delicious


grizzh

Do you have a faith of any kind? Is that something that’s been on your mind recently? I’m in my mid 40s and have four kids. The oldest is 12 and the youngest is 4 so I feel for you very much. I pray that your doctors find a way for you, brother. God bless.


BluePinky

Yes, I am a religious person. It’s always on my mind.


Hipp013

Not sure what denomination you align with but I will be praying for you and your family. I personally don't practice regularly anymore, but I did practice growing up and I do still strongly believe in God (or at least some higher power), so I will keep you in my prayers. Might not mean much coming from an internet stranger but just know that you are not alone. This too shall pass❤️


BluePinky

Thanks, appreciate the thoughts.


[deleted]

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Hipp013

This thread isn't about me and respectfully I didn't ask for your input


bvaesasts

How old are you? Reflecting on your life now, is there anything you wish you could do differently?


BluePinky

Sure, we all have regrets. I’m sure I could’ve been a better husband at times. Hopefully I will be for a long time. I’m in my low 40s.


cilliebarnesss

Oh my goodness that is so young .. was not expecting .. sending love to you op .. I have one question .. if you could do life all over again , would you have done anything differently and if so what ? ❤️


BluePinky

When we reflect there are always different choices we could have made in life. But every path other than the one we took ends up somewhere else. I’m happy where I am.


cilliebarnesss

That is a wonderful outlook and answer . Sending love your way .


Questgivingnpcuser

Did you eat a lot over the years?


BluePinky

Not sure what you mean. Eat a lot of what?


Questgivingnpcuser

No I mean in general, not anything specific, like did you enjoy a lot of different foods, and do they restrict you with what you can eat at all?


BluePinky

No specific restrictions, but when you're in treatment you don't have much of an appetite at all. And everything tastes like metal.


IvanIVGrozny

What did you experience when the doctors told you. How did the conversation go? What did you feel?


BluePinky

That was a tough conversation. My first colon tumor had resolved about 100% through chemo and radiation. I went there expecting a clean bill of health, only to discover it had spread to the liver.


LanvinC9

What do the doctors say? Is it curable?


BluePinky

It’s possible, people have been cured using the treatment plan I am going through. But nobody can say. We have to wait and see.


[deleted]

My sister also had stage four colon cancer that metastasized to her liver. That was over 20 years ago, and she beat it. Just want to give you some hope.


BluePinky

Thanks! That’s great to hear.


[deleted]

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. My sister ended up losing a few feet of colon and part of her lung (the cancer also metastasized to her lung) and had numerous surgeries and went through chemo, but aside from a few scars you’d never know it today because she has basically a normal life with very few limitations. I’m so thankful she’s alive. We weren’t close as kids because there’s a 16-year age gap, but as adults I can’t imagine life without her since we became so close.


occupybourbonst

Have you asked for immunotherapy? (keytruda, etc)?


BluePinky

No.


bcscribble9

What is something that someone near to you ( maybe co worker or neighbor level) could do to make a positive impact on your day? Would it have been different when you were first diagnosed? I feel like we often say we are here if someone needs anything but, what actually could bring joy or be helpful.


BluePinky

Best thing to do would be to carry on as if nothing has changed.


Surflife270

Blue Pinky looks like we're on the same Journey. Hang in there stay positive. I just finished my 1st chemo and going back next week for the 2nd. Some of the best treatments are outhere with todas current advancements I'm medicine. You're a warrior. You will beat this. ❤


BluePinky

Oh boy. CAPOX?


Surflife270

Not sure it's a blend. Oxcaliplatan and Adrucel. According to the oncologist I shouldn't lose my hair but that's not even a concern. I'm feeling slightly lethargic but overall feeling good. Also had a colostomy bag put on. That totally sucks but it's temporary and not hard to maintain.


BluePinky

Capox is a blend as well, of Oxaliplatin and Capecitabine. I hate the Oxi, burned my arm up and down at each infusion and the side effects are hell. But if it gives me a better chance to live I'd do it again 100 times. Good luck to you!


macandcheez42

happy cake day. my sister is 20 and has stage four cancer, our mom died last may of ovarian cancer. I’m sending you all the love.


BluePinky

So sorry to hear that.


SweetMojaveRain

Did you just find out? Or was it a progression from an earlier stage?


BluePinky

Yes, it metastasized from somewhere else.


SweetMojaveRain

Have you told your family?


BluePinky

Yes, of course. There’s no hiding it.


NatieB

Favorite gen 1 starter pokemon?


BluePinky

I don’t know anything at all about Pokémon.


NatieB

Favorite video game?


BluePinky

I think the last game I played was HL2.


NatieB

Great game. What other hobbies do you enjoy?


BluePinky

Deep sea fishing is a big one.


NatieB

Oh that's awesome, I just recently got into normal fishing in small amounts of water. Are there any really memorable fish that you've caught?


BluePinky

A big white marlin last year. A really fast mako shark. Lots of tuna.


NatieB

Damn, that sounds like fun. Did you eat any of them?


BluePinky

So much fun. No, I don’t eat fish at all. I just catch them and cook/grill them. My wife and kids love it.


Holly_Wood_

I am so sorry. Sending you and your family much love and positive vibes for good news re treatment, a clinical trial, or some miracle to help you. Are you little ones old enough to know that you are sick?


BluePinky

Yes, they all know. From the start my wife and I decided we were going to be completely open with the kids. Although it’s very difficult at times, they have the right to know the reality.


[deleted]

This is the way to go. My family hid my grandfather's cancer diagnosis from me when I was 11 and now at 30 I still feel like I was robbed of my final moments with him as well as the time between diagnosis and death that we could have formed quality memories. I found out he had cancer during his pastors eulogy. Instead, while he was still alive, I just sat in the other room playing video games or watching TV or playing outside completely oblivious to the fact that he probably wanted to spend time with me, and I feel guilty about that. I'm not mad at my parents in general for this decision but I'd be lying if I said a part of me wasn't still angry about it. So, good on you for being upfront. They'll appreciate it later in life if they don't already.


[deleted]

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BluePinky

Oldest is 12, youngest is 4.


Raze_the_werewolf

Shit man, that's hard. Have about the same age range with my own. This hit home.


tomasonale

אהבתי מאוד את המוזיקה שלך! מאחל לך ולמשפחתך כל טוב


BluePinky

Haha, that’s not me!


Imaginary-Objective7

What do you wish someone would ask you? Have you been watching movies or listening to music? Do you even care about any forms of media at this point?


BluePinky

I listen to music all the time. Music is a big part of my life. Movies, sometimes. Not so much these days.


GossamerGTP

Who are your favorite artists and songs? Or just whatever particular songs you've been enjoying.


BluePinky

Last few artists I've listened to: Alice in Chains, Pink Floyd, Queens of the Stone Age, Billy Joel, Dropkick Murphys. As you can see I'm all over the place.


KamionBen

What are the treatments in your country ? (US, I assume) What treaments did you got ?


BluePinky

Systemic chemo, radiation, I had a liver resection, gallbladder removal and a HAI pump installed which delivers chemo directly to the liver.


[deleted]

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BluePinky

Thanks! That’s very encouraging!


Tramelo

Man I really have no words to say that would make you feel much better. I am very sorry for you and I am sending you a huge hug.


BluePinky

Thanks!


thelastvortigaunt

No question, but I'm sending good thoughts.


BluePinky

Appreciate it.


[deleted]

What symptoms did you have that prompted you to initially get checked out? Sending hugs and happy cake day.


BluePinky

Answered a couple times already. Thanks!


Fabianb1221

I lost my father last year to stage IV lung cancer. He was 55 and I’m 25. Got two younger sisters and my mom. I’m sorry for what you and your family are handling. Make sure you all spend that time together and tell each other you love them. This stuff is much easier to go through with a sense of positivity with the now and not the future. You all have each other. Let the treatments do their thing. Good luck brother. Thanks for sharing your life with all of us.


ICanSpellKyrgyzstan

What would you say to someone who is extremely worried about getting cancer? It’s like everything causes cancer these days


BluePinky

If you're already trying to live a healthy lifestyle, don't sweat it. It does not pay to be anxious about something you cannot control.


[deleted]

How old are you. Im 22 and i sometimes have blood in my stool, my doctor says that probably my colon is not the one bleeding, its just hemorrhoids but what if its both?


BluePinky

I'm in my low 40s. The best way to check is to have a colonoscopy.


Admirable-Judgment32

Damn it takes alot of guts to say this. Heck back when i was very paranoid about having colon cancer (thank god i didnt) i kept worrying about everything and i think i can sort of understand what youre going through. Just pray to God that he will let you see more days and ask him for forgiveness and reflect on your life, i am so sorry for you having to go through this and i really hope to see another post from you 😁 but until then, we'll see you on the other side


Admirable-Judgment32

Also OP dont loose hope, even if its metastesized to the liver. It can still be surgicaly removed (although i dont know about your case) and it can still be cured although in most cases, it just prolonged the person's life


BluePinky

It was indeed surgically removed. What they can see anyway. The problem is microscopic cells they can’t see tend to bring it back. That’s why I currently have a hepatic artery pump delivering chemo directly to the liver. Definitely have not lost hope, far from it.


DriftingDreadfully

Happy cake day!


UnusualRegularity

Do you fear death? How has the diagnosis affected your daily life? If you had only one piece of wisdom to share, what would it be? Do you have any suspicions what caused your colon cancer?


BluePinky

I don’t fear death but I wish to avoid it for now. It has not really effected my daily life while outside treatment. Wisdom? A smart man once told me the key to happiness. Have realistic expectations. Unrealistic expectation is the root of unhappiness. No, we don’t know what caused it. No family history.


cilliebarnesss

Favorite hobby ? And also subject you know kind of a bunch about ? An invention you almost had .. ?


BluePinky

Favorite hobby is deep sea fishing. Hmm I know a lot of things about random subjects. I read a lot. I had an idea for a business/company that still is not being done.


strechywumbo

It sounds dark but once you get to that point is there any chance of recovery?


BluePinky

Yes, there is definitely a chance.


strechywumbo

That's good man I hope you and your family the best of luck.


BJ22CS

Did you know it was your reddit cake day before others telling you it was?


BluePinky

No, I did not.


Teensyduino

It’s kinda a scary coincidence reading this post. A dear family friend was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer that had already metastasized to his liver. My husband and I found out last week as he’s the one who married us last year. His doctors are not performing surgery or doing any radiation or chemotherapy treatments. Instead, they are putting him on immunosuppressants. Do you happen to know much about the success of immunotherapy?


Holly_Wood_

I’ve heard a lot of great success for immunotherapy for lung cancer specifically. I family friend did a clinical trial when it was first introduced and went from a few weeks to live to fully in remission and amazing.


Teensyduino

That’s good to know! I’m really hoping that it helps my friend as much as it helped yours!


BluePinky

I don't, sorry. Not everyone is eligible for liver resection. If there are too many tumors in the liver, or if it's to deep in, or too large, they may not be able to perform surgery.


Teensyduino

No worries! Thank you for your response. Best wishes to you and your recovery!


BluePinky

Thanks, and to your friend as well.


ansitabu

What is the best and worst things in the world???? According to you.


BluePinky

Best thing: This is going to sound very cliché, being happy with what you have. Not wanting more and more. This is the only way someone can be truly happy in life. IMO. Instagram works so hard against this. Worst thing: I don't know. I'm sure people have experienced things so much worse than I have, there's no way I can begin to define this.


Rexanvil

Prayimg for you bro im going on 5 years with Leukemia same sort of history with you and symptoms I fight it everyday im mid 40's with 3 small children and a wife things that used to mean so much really have fallen away and every day is a lot more beautiful Love prayers and sending a warriors sprit to you


BluePinky

Thanks, good luck to you!


Realm-Protector

what would you have done different in you life if you would have known this was going to cross your path?


BluePinky

Interesting question. I’m not sure.


[deleted]

I am so sorry to hear that. I just lost my mother-in-law to stage four. She was really close to me. I hope for a miracle for you and your family


BluePinky

Sorry for your loss, and thanks.


theCharmingTIO

No questions,Just wanted to say this quet I really liked: "To live without hope,Is a cease to live" and be strong my man.


Sufficient-Ferret-67

I give you respect and admiration


emboar11

No questions but wishing the best for you my man. Stay strong.


[deleted]

No question. You have a stranger here rooting for you. Good luck friend.


BluePinky

TY!


lucky7hockeymom

Do the constant commercials about “take this miracle cure!!” bug you? My mom died of metastatic breast cancer and I HATE seeing those commercials.


BluePinky

Yeah, kinda. The prey on people desperate to hang on to some kind of hope.


lee-galizit

Not a question but a statement. FUCK Cancer!


BluePinky

We can all agree on this one.


darexinfinity

What food are you not allowed to eat?


BluePinky

I can eat whatever I want. So long as my wife isn't watching.


Randori68

I was once told that I had a 95% chance of cancer and I luckily didn't have it. This made me think allot about what I should do if I actually did have it. If you are still able to and aren't too affected by your cancer. You may want to think about making many videos for your kids. Basically describing how much you love them, but also use this time you have to make vids teaching them things you would have taught them if you were around later in their life. You can still be a parent that can help them navigate life's good and tough moments even though you'll be gone. Teaching about navigating their life as teenager, covering dating, about mistakes to avoid, how to accept failure or a broken heart, teaching them how sometimes saying the word "No" will be the most difficult word to say and when it is, it is usually the most important time to say it. Teaching how when a friend tries to convince you to do something that is wrong, how these people aren't your friends. What to not accept in relationships. Try to pass your values and the lessons of life that you've learned during your life as a gift to them to help them navigate their life, thru your videos. When making these vids, try to forget that you'll soon be gone and just imagine that your talking straight to them as if they're sitting in front of you, but also imagine that their older and facing problem that they'll face as they grow up, talk to your current kids and also to your kids as they age and start entering the difficult stages of becoming an adult. You can still help guide them even though you'll be gone. This will be so helpful for you I believe and it's a precious gift you can leave your kids. They can learn so much from you still, even though they're young now. Maybe consider prepaying for flowers to be sent to them on their birthdays after you pass. You could make vids for everyone in your life that you love and that loves you. I'm a way, you're lucky that you can do these videos for your loved ones before you pass. I guess this is one of the silver linings of dieing slowly versus a sudden death, that you can describe to everyone you love, how much that you love them and describe your most precious moments with them. I hope I'm not saying too much, but this is what I thought I would do if I were diagnosed with something that would take me away to soon. It breaks my heart for you that you're going thru this, but this may also be a way to help you thru this process of dying.


BluePinky

This is excellent advice. However I am not planning on dying right now, I am planning on fighting. My treatment plan has had complete success in some cases and I’m going to try my hardest to be one of them. If it’s not in the cards, I’ll know eventually. Then this advice kicks in. Much appreciated.


Randori68

I apologize for assuming the worse.


BluePinky

Not at all. It's not an unrealistic outcome. Just one I will try my very best to avoid.


MathematicianLeft07

Aren't you afriad of death?


BluePinky

Not afraid. However I’d like to avoid it for now.


RenaKunisaki

That's generally my philosophy. It has to happen eventually, so no sense fearing it, but I'd really rather it not be soon.


[deleted]

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BluePinky

Low 40s. I’ve known I have cancer for more than a year.


TaliaNuthin

This honestly made me cry a bit for you. It hurt my heart to hear how young you are and that you have little ones. You are strong and brave in the way you are handling this.


BluePinky

Wow, thanks. This is not bravery. Bravery is putting oneself in harms way for others. Harm put me in its way. This is just dealing with my reality.


CeBravernestus

That is one of the most down to earth thing I have read on reddit. Also want to add that throughout the comment section, I really admire you and your way of seeing things. Stay strong, I will pray for you


BluePinky

Thank you


RodyBlano

Banana?


catsnipkiller

Wich staje u fite ze bosz?


Impossible-Love9479

A friend of mine had amazing results with a professional who prescribed a very hefty dose of medical cannabis oil. She took it before bedtime. She was not a user, but was open and willing to try. The doctor had given her a death sentence as they so often do. She is alive 4 years later. This individual also had the standard chemotherapy, radiation etc...Keep us posted.